Has anybody had a kid that is so bad? Like to the point that you go places and you just end up leaving early cuz, you can’t handle the embarrassment of how bad they are. Like he’ll fight with the kids, talk back to you, tell him to stop screaming, and they scream even louder, time out don’t do shit. Taking things away doesn’t do anything either. You take things away like scissors cuz he has cut himself several times trying to cut something, and he ends up getting the again. I tried to put it in the Highest places, and he ends up finding stuff. He’s thrown trash over the fence t the neighbor’s house. It’s just too much to write I’m so lost of what to freaking do. I just come home and cry he sees me and says he’s gonna behave but 5 minutes later he starts acting bad again. I don’t know what else to do
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Have you contacted the Dr? May be more than bad behavior? I’m not one to say medicate or something is wrong but talk to the Dr and if no underlying issue is found then counseling for him and you!
A good spanking should do.
I would check with drs could be sensory issues and change or anxiety.
my son was the same way. he was diagnosed with ADHD & ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). the bad behavior is the ODD part. look into it.
Your language speaks volumes
Maybe contact ur doctor could be more too him acting out
You could see if there is parenting classes offered near you. I took one when I had a child at my daycare that was pretty difficult and out of hand. It helped me alot!
Definitely see a doctor even a kids therapist! There are books as well. We can all tell you are overwhelmed! I think there may be a sensory issue ( & folks you cant beat the issues out of the child for all you “bust his butt” people)
Definitely speak to his pediatrician
Consistency is key with kids. Set a schedule and stick to it. That helps loads of kids even with behavioral issues. Next, consider diet. If you’re feeding him processed stuff, stop for a while and see if real food helps.
A good smack might help
Bust his ass!! So sick of people using ADHD for a excuse. My son has it but best believe he is not rude or disrespectful! I’m sorry your going through that.
My daughter was the same she went to doctor and councelers and they said she had odd and adha and mood disorder she has to be on medication she was getting in trouble in school etc she is doing better since on meds
Kids are sponges, sounds to me like he’s repeating & acting the way he’s seen others act.
I’m all about a spanking…but has he been seen by a doc for this?
Doctor would be the first step and parenting classes are amazing and being consistent is key. Hang in there momma.
Sounds like he may need help. Getting him talking to someone who can help you out.
My youngest is like this too, he has ADHD/ODD/pretty significant sensory processing issues. He is angry and defiant and violent and vindictive and he is also very sheltered, I am a nice, soft spoken person and he certainly didnt learn it from our family. Hes wired differently and needs therapy and medical help. Spanking just makes him worse and triggers his vindictiveness
Sounds like he needs an old fashioned spanking!
oppositional defiant disorder
My son has adhd.When he was about 7 it kicked in.School was horrible.Worse part.He could only do 3 hrs a day.Throwing shoes around in class yelling at his teacher.Suspended once or twice a week.Came to the point I had to take him to a behavioral center.Tommy has adhd.They put him on metedate and he did 180 degree turn around.All kids are different.Not saying yours will better on meds but def get it checked out.Hes 14 now and I took him off myself about a year ago now.Excellent kid.prayers sent❤
Occupational therapy in the case of ADD/ODD or sensory problems.
Mama your not alone! My 6 year as been like this since she got on her feet. We have been seeing specialists for the last year! Thanks to COVID we missed our most important appointment
He is acting out - need to find the source.
Please don’t listen to the people telling you to hit your child. Take him to a professional for help, guidance and support. He is depending on you to help him figure out his emotions.
Read a book called the whole brained child. It’s amazing, helped me when my child was acting out due to grieving. It teaches u what a child’s brain is doing and how to communicate better.
My son is just like this and was recently diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. We’ve tried all types of punishments and parenting techniques, none of them work.
I feel your pain, momma. We’ve started eliminating red dyes and sugar. Now we’re working on getting him in with a behavioral therapist.
Sounds like he could be dealing with odd and/or some other things🤔 sometimes it’s not just a bad kid, it goes deeper and there’s a real psychological reason for being the way they are. I would try and get him in with not just a therapist but a psychiatrist
ODD my son has it and but older he gets it gets better all but that mouth.
I am with u girl i have a 5 and 7 yr okd boy and 3 yr old girl. My oldest is so bad. I cannot handle it. He is off the wall. Rude as hell talks back and doesnt care about anyone but himself. In at a loss of what to di too. Hes horrible at school he makes my other kids act bad too. Ugh im sorry but im with you …u need to vent just message me ill talk to you. I have no friends so just send a message si we can vent to eachother about how bad our kids are lol. Sending u love💗
yes, the advice to consult with a physician that deals in child behavior such as this has the help you need.
There is help for him and you.
Spanking is not or will not be the answer because they only see it as you hitting them and instead if the usual humbling and relating it as punishment…these.kids with this behavioral personality will become so angry and lash out at anyone and anything.
I have raised a bi-polar , AdHd/anxiety disorder/ depression and gone through all the criticism and ridicule…and advise I am sure.you are geyting. Thete.is help. Find a duel treatment clinic and you will be amazed how happy your boy and you can be.
He is more unhappy with.himself than you are with him.
Just show him unconditional love and remember they direct their uncontrollable abusive words and actions to the safest person in their life. The one that they feel will be there no matter what.It is hard…but you will also have that great bond as he goes through treatment I guarantee it will come.back 3X’s as love and.lifelong bond.
Get into his pediatrician but ask to be referred to a specialist who deals in bad behavior in adolescents. Do not settle for the pediatrician treating him. Start with him while waiting to get into the specialist.
It will save you alot of time and skip you forward to where he needs to be.
Yes that’s why I never took my kids anywhere with me b4 the age of 10 unless they had to be with me
Honestly, I would start with medical help.
He needs behavioural help. He sounds like he is really struggling to express his emotions. Please ignore berating him and such. Seek professional help and in the mean time talk calmly and try to break down his emotions in that moment.
‘what are you feeling right now’
‘what do you want to do’
‘is there anything I can do to help’
Talk to his doctor.
Ask for help.
It’s a parenting problem, not a kid problem. He sounds frustrated and angry. Figure out the source of it and be honest with yourself. Are you consistent? Does he get love, attention, encouragement, patience, age appropriate discipline and rewards, a good example to follow?
Sounds like ODD to me.
Please consult a physician, could be something much deeper here. My daughter started with some similar behaviors in school around 6-7 years old. I’m talking throwing chairs m, hitting other kids. We finally after about a year and a half, great teachers, counselors and doctors determined it was social anxiety. Once we realized this and taught her tools to manage anxiety and emotions these behaviors improved 95%. Shes still going and has to learn to handle her emotions but those tools she’s learned has her well on the way there. For us this took a lot of time and patients. She would escalate if I escalated. We UF a horrible time going to birthday parties or even stores so I would always prepare here in advance so she was well aware of where we were going, who would be there and the behaviors I expected as well as a lot of reassurance that she was safe even though she felt nervous. I wish you the best, parenting is sometimes so hard but so amazing. You’ll get through this! Love that baby and be patient.
My son started this and was diagnosed with adhd. So they tried all different meds. Well he was3 when diagnosed I didnt like him on the meds so I handled him. Well fast forward to 9 years later he really started acting out grabbing knives and hitting me and everything so I had him hospitalized 3 different times. The last time where he went straightened him out. I refuse the meds because it made it worse. Right now he is about to be 13 and he is doing better. Sometimes he has his days, but he knows real quick I dont play. I will get the belt real quick. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and mean every bit of what you say.
Positive praise; start with maybe a star chart ; each good day he gets a star for good behaviour. If he gets stars for the whole day for each good response then at the end of the day he gets a small token be it a treat or small gift. Keep it to a short time limit otherwise he will lose interest. Then after a whole week say, if he has been compliant and got all stars he can choose something he would like to do within your limits. Good luck.
Give him a ass whooping. One good one on the butt.
But it’s most likely odd, I have it and nothing worked but that when I was younger… for a good day or two
talk to him more. and control ur frustration…u know the saying “take the bull by its horns?” it means u always have to be stronger than the situation. talk to him more and make him your priority. right now he needs you but he doesn’t need for you to show him weakness, even if u go in ur room and cry alone. if he knows ur crying bcz of him ur only making it worse bcz ur guilt tripping him in a way and maybe its something thats out of his control, and so he’s feeling like he’s constantly letting u down. get him checked and u get guidance too on how to deal with it. and please try rewarding when he does behave and re-direction instead. on children like this taking away and grounding does not work.
I hate reading the responses some of you people have to questions from people truly looking for help. Quite a few sanctimommies in this group. I hope you never have an anonymous question because… karma.
My 7yr old was awful from 5 to 6. Tantrums n all. I didnt even want to be home most of the time. Finally i was the one 2 throw the fit and i work with low income people. She used 2 tell me she wanted a new mommy and a better life n she has everything u could imagine. So I took her to some families I know who have nothing n i told her if she wanted to act that way we’d find her a new home n it wouldnt be as great as what she has. Shes grown up around adults so i tbink shes very smart n has tested me to the max. But since after that she’s been awesome. I mean I threatened to call dcfs n some more. I said better be ready for weekly therapy lol. It worked so far… Im prob the bad mom here 🤷😂
First, good for you for asking for advice! Being a parent is so hard and when you have a strong willed child it can seem impossible. My first suggestion is that you have a consistent routine with daily praise when things are completed and consequences set when they are not. Once you get a few days of great behavior then they earn a reward. Once this continues then the habit is in place and the reward isn’t necessary but positive praise is always needed. For tantrums you send them to their room and do not respond. They can scream whatever and I don’t react. If they destroy then you put it all in the trash and they end up with an empty room until they earn things back. Keep calm. Talk to them on their level and use words they understand and ask them to repeat what you said to ensure they know.
If this continues seek medical help from your doctor or a local therapist that can help guide you. Sometimes it is linked to food, sleep patterns or other things
Good luck mama!
Sounds like he needs consequences to his actions. Take away things. I believe in spankings, not beatings.
My daughter was like this for the longest time… I was a psychology major at the time and spoke with my child and adolescent professor who said it sounded like bipolar disorder. At age 9 I took her into see the best child psychologist in my state and sure enough she was diagnosed. She’s now 21 and very normal
Figuring out why he is angry or why he believes he has bad behavior is a good place to start. He need to know you are with him not against him. Something is very wrong if he acknowledges his behavior but maybe unable to control it. If he trusts you , and you come from a different angle you might get the answers you need.
Bust his ass or get him help. He’s not going to change on his own. It might just be embarrassment now but as he gets older there will be drastic consequences to his actions
The way you speak of your kid, i can’t blame him He picks up on your energy. Try parenting classes. Sounds like you need it
If your child is school age talk to your pediatrician to see if you can get with a behavioral therapist. They may need to have him tested for a wide range of issues such as anxiety, adhd, autism, opposition defiance disorder etc. If he has ADHD research and talk to your pediatrician about the different type of drugs. I realize using drugs is a last resort but understanding that the drugs can help him calm down mentally and decrease his frustrations.
Watch super nanny and be consistent. Don’t let him out of your sight. Don’t give in. Two weeks to an angel
My boy has oppositional defiant disorder…sounds very similar to him. Hes also got sensory issues which make it really hard for him to cope in a lot of environments
My 8 year old is like this on his bad days, he is diagnosed adhd and asd.
Not gonna lie, I went military style on my son’s bed behavior. He was made to do push ups, sits ups, & wall squats. He then had to tell me what he did wrong, & how he would handle the situation next time. I ALWAYS explained to him WHY what he was doing was wrong & we would work together to come up with a better solution.
Try counseling. It will help him learn how to express himself a better way as well as teach you how to respond.
When my son started talking back and screaming at me. I popped that mouth so fast he did not know what hit him. Buy I got his attention.
I think maybe you need to sit down and have a talk with him.
Shouting and hitting him will not work. Your encouraging bad behaviour by doing it yourself so I wouldnt go down that route.
Maybe hes feeling a certian way and its his way of letting off steam?
You could try a karate/judo class
It’s so good for discipline and keeping a focused mind.
My son was like that spankings worked wonders. He’s 8 now and pretty well behaved.
Take him to the doctor. Sounds like he has developmental issues. If that’s not the problem a good old fashioned spanking may do the trick.
Have’nt youa pair of Clodhoppers, If so plant one firmly
So sorry.spoiled child i think.
Tear that butt up a couple of times real good
Don’t have another one.
Sounds like he has odd like my daughter. It’s going to be a lot of trial and error. Punishment does not work with them since they defy adult authority. No meds help only Zoloft for anger. Therapy and learning to pick what battles are worth fighting.
Following… My soon to be 5 year old is the same way! Took him to try and get tested for autism and the dr said that he’s showing some signs so gonna rule that out for now, but could have ADHD and/or ODD. Take him to get tested
Im not sure if this helps, but Ive read that sometimes bad behaviors or stubbornness preceeds a developmental leap. It might be more for younger kids, but im sure the theory is relevant at any age. I have noticed with my 2yr old that after a few hard weeks of poor behavior, something good will just all of a sudden happen. Like going from 2 syllable words to 3, or understanding situations better, etc. Even sleep patterns improve.
Idk, when ya think about hormones and how aweful PMS can be, then think about kids’ brains and what they are going through as they grow, its like, no wonder they dont know how to process stuff and act right. Hormones are crazy! Chocolate helps with PMS, hitting and screaming might help with a 5yr olds brain how to process. Its just figuring out the right way to help them so they dont have to resort to the naughty behaviors. Which was your question to begin with, lol
Look into getting the child an assessment for behavioral and/or physical problems. In my experience, popping them on the butt only gets their attention when they’re younger.
I found out my “troublesome” child was afflicted with ADHD. I was hesitant about medication and haven’t done any research on CBD for treatment. I did end up using a medication for school and bus but found different methods to help at home and only used the medicine for the teachers and bus driver. I would be happy to speak with you if you need more information on what I experienced before going down the medicine road regardless of what medication you choose. Do what’s best for you, kids will be happiest when mommy is happy.
My child went through things just like this. She was recently diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder. Have a pediatrician assess your child
Our son is the same way. We are now talking with an occupational therapist and we are working towards a diagnosis for adhd. However he is almost 3 so they said we cant really diagnose him until he is school age but can learn coping techniques to help control the outbursts and anger.
Its definitely hard to deal with and i would seek some outside help from your family dr to help guide you in the right direction.
You need to take him to get evaluated for adhd. My 10 yr was the same way at age 2. I actually couldnt get him diagnosed til he was about 7. And just like other moms i didnt want my son any medicines. But its the only way to keep him calm. He also sees a therapist and a case mgr on a weekly basis. Pretty sure he is adhd. Hang in there its not easy
Following…my son is 2 and acts the same way. Doesnt listen at all. Constantly doing things he’s not supposed to. Screaming at the top of his lungs when in trouble. Yes I spank him, which leads to louder screaming and headbutting the floor in anger. I’m also at a loss. Kinda hoping its all a long phase, but so far this is happening multiple times a day. He also refuses to nap which puts him at panic attack levels because of the lack of sleep, so he cries til he falls asleep. He bites. He spits. He headbuts and slaps me and pulls hair. No discipline ive tried has worked. It just makes him more angry even to the point of him hitting himself in the head. Only person he will listen to is his dad and even that is sometimes.
Dont cry mama we all go through it. Just know you got this and it will pass. But I would seek some therapy, have maybe a professional give you overall medical diagnosis and take him out for the day just you two. Do something that you guys can do to bond and get to talk go r example fishing would be good and get down to his level and see what’s going on. I’m sure he doesn’t like getting in trouble all the time for his behavior either but it’s obvious he is struggling to Express his emotions in a healthy way. And by all means do not back down from right and wrong because you are embarrassed or tired, whoop that ass if that’s what’s needed. My son used to run all over me and do the same things because I would eventually just give up or would try to coddle him to stop. After I put my foot down in front of everyone and haven’t stopped once hes sooooooo much better. Especially in public because he knows mamma doesn’t play and we will leave, and you will get your ass whooped for causing a scene and making us leave. And if you wanna cry and throw a fit about it you can go to your room with all that until you calm down. Sometimes it works sometimes honestly it doesn’t but therapy for you and him and consistency is key. Much love and I will pray for you both💕
I would add to the advice above ignore I was one of those children with ADHD bipolar and personality disorders and any attention was attention. I would be calm and be like you clean this up or no dessert for dinner tonight have incentives for positive and when he sits there through fit as long as he’s not harming himself ignore him. He’ll come down on his own and come to you. But definitely I would seek a counselor for coping behaviors and yes my child would get spanked if I told him or her something and they decided to do it anyway they would get two pops on the butt Plus a warning then I walk away
Sometimes you jus half to take trips to the wood shed. Trust he will thank you in the long .if dont noone is voing to want him around tgem
Our grandson was diagnosed with ADHD when smaller and now it has become ODD. It’s very difficult to deal with. he is finally beginning to realize medication helps. Our daughter has been called a bad mom. It doesnt matter what you do its wrong. Keep persevering. Different things work for different kids.
Never once did I hear you spanked him. That may be the problem.
My oldest son and daughter have ADHD, and ODD… I feel ya momma!
Sounds spoiled… You’ve had to of let him get away with things he shouldn’t have!!
My daughter has always been this way. She is 13 now. Spanking her didn’t even work. She just didn’t care. The only thing that has worked is taking away things she really loves, especially if she can see someone else enjoying what she isn’t getting. Whatever it is that she just has to have or be doing, that’s what she loses if she can’t behave,
SPANK!!! Yes not all parents belive this method but some kids need it. He is playing w u because he knows u cant make him stop. Having ADHD or any other disability does not mean they have bad behavior. Consistency is the only tool that works!
Depending on the age you may see it as being bad or acting out but it may be because he’s at that age where he’s learning what he can and can’t do and he’s becoming his own person…
Could be other things too
Really don’t have any advice for ya hun
I have a cure for that but I only tell you in person and you don’t have to hit or be mean it’s easy to do catch up with me and ask me
You need to take him to a sike so that he can talk to the doctor and tell him why he is doing those things he probably needs meds to keep him calm and you need to be there with as a parent you need to start letting him get a way with all that he knows that you won’t spank him but sometimes you have to that to let him know that you are not going to let him get away with what he is doing it starts with you and your husband
He may be on the spectrum. You should have him tested for Autism.
Take this child to a doctor and be honest with him. Relax and try to enjoy him and don’t let the stress get you down. Take each day one day at a time
See a child behavioral therapist for all our sakes!
Sometimes food can make kids angry. Try different diets. May help a little. Goodluck
Yeah talking to him not going work whoop his butt see that work
My foot would be up his ass
This is a joke.right??
Sounds like time to seek out a professional
You are out of your depth here - please get some help on how to cope.
How about not calling your child bad?? Mental abuse is probably his issue!! All abused kids act out
Smack his ass. I did with my child and she turned out good
a belt on a bare butt will work .