Their is no such race that is white. We are all people of color some lighter in color some darker. Europeans that came to this country made up the name white person. Just look at the color of your skin if you were born in America you are An American.Nationality
1 Like
My daughter (4 yo) is biracial (Haitian and Caucasian) and her sister who is ten months older is Caucasian so she is often confused about her race. Iām still trying to figure it out.
The child is too young.He will definitely figure it out as he grows.My son used to refuse to be categorised as Black,he would say he is chocolate,but now he is getting to understand.
I told my son he was my oreo cookie special
Do u blame him??Everyone probably talks racism around him!And heās afraid.Parents watch what you say around your little ones!!!your not born racist your thought !!
3 Likes
My granddaughter got self conscious when we went shopping the other day. My sonās white and my daughter in law is black. My granddaughter said people were looking at us. I told her to let them look and they had never seen such pretty girls before. People can really suck.
2 Likes
I am biracial black and white and it was very confusing growing up. My daughter and my son are mixed too obviously, but a little bit lighter colored than me.
The best you can do is reassure him that being mixed is okay. These days everybody is screaming YOUāRE WHITE or YOUāRE BLACK and the toughest thing to deal with as a multi racial person is the fact that weāre erased in todayās societal and political climates.
They will frequently be asked āwhat are you?ā growing up and honestly that question hurts a little but Iāve learned to laugh it off and Iām teaching my daugter that as well, and that being mixed is as beautiful as being solidly any one race. Good luck mama.
3 Likes
If heās saying he doesnāt want to be black it doesnāt sound like heās confused. I would find out why he feels that way.
2 Likes
This is exactly how I was when I was younger. My mom is white & my dad is full Jamaican. It was hard to understand being so young & just like ur son, I wanted to be white as well. No matter what anyone told me I didnāt wanna b the colour I was, but my family kept telling me that it was ok and I was beautiful anyways. maybe try to talk to him about why heās feeling that way, maybe another child said something to him to make him feel the way that way heās feeling. Trust me itāll get harder as he gets older but eventually heāll learn to accept the colour he is!
Allow him to be both ā¦ my sons race is white but this ethnicity is Hispanic
My children are biracial. My step son doesnāt seem to care but my son screams all the time that he doesnāt want to be brown like daddy cuz hes a white boy! My husband is hispanic and white and we discussed him calling his mom to get recipes and stuff like that to do with the kids and treat them to embrace their heritage and love themselves the way they are. Weāve also discussed celebrating things like Cinco de Mayo and the Day of the Dead so they understand the Mexican side isnāt any different. They just look a little different.
I would say heās only 4 he to young to understand give it time an donāt push the issue. Let time take it !!! Just let him know heās loved no matter what!!!
My daughter is biracialā¦she has never been confused tho. Iāve often wondered why kids get confused - their skin is brown so theyāre brown š¤· i guess Iām thankful it has never been an issue for her. I feel bad for those who feel confused
1 Like
There is a childrenās book called " The Many Shades Of Me" check it out
1 Like
Be sure that he knows you will always love him, and that you love the way he looks. Let him know that if someone says something derogatory to him, the person saying it has the problem, not him.
1 Like
Maybe show him celebrities people he know of people he may watch on YouTube that are mixed race show him itās cool to be mixed race
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My child is mixed and confused about his race: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Mine r mix and half the year there white the other half hispanic because there skin color changes. He will adjust. Tell him you love him what ever color he wants to be. He is himself. If he is half white then he can say he is white next he be saying he black give him time.
2 Likes
Thereās no such thing as mixed. We are all of one race .( Human) you talk like your husband is coffee cream. Half and Half. I wish someone would call my grandson half and half. Heā all human.Geeeeeez.
5 Likes
Itās so sad that these babies are confused just tell him heās perfect and let him decide his color . he will grow up and understand it but right now this is what he wants. Let him be whatever he wants the more you tell him otherwise the more confusing it gets at his age.
9 Likes
There shouldnāt be a colour issue in the first place. He is who he is and his mum and dadās son.
3 Likes
My granddaughter is mixed black and white. When her brother was born, she asked me why she was dark and he was light? They had the same parents but she was a little bit darker than he. I told her that she was so lucky to have a built in gorgeous tan. She excepted that. Why, because it was the truth
He only 4. I wouldnāt push the race right now. I understand itās important. Maybe ask him why he only wants to be white. Try to understand why he feels thatās way. Good luck. Iād also tell him that every body is made the same no matter what race or color of skin.
6 Likes
Seems to me that if people can be whatever sex they want, he can be whatever race he wants. Since heās so young just say ok and let it slide.
2 Likes
my child is mixed and is about to be 6 and has never said anything about our different skin tones, we never say black or white around him so he is innocent to the whole race thing, but whenever he ask about anything else we just say thats the way God created them.
6 Likes
How can ppl say your mixed ā¦ mixed isnāt a race my kids race is handsome and beautiful and thatās EXACTLY what they will tell you when ppl ask what theyāre mixed with my daughter being beautiful my sons being handsomeā¦ now yes I teach my children about there culture but not race love has no color and we should all love each other and accept everyone 
1 Like
My child did this. Said she wanted to be white like the door 
. Hated summer because her skin would get darker. She grew out of that phase. I never pushed any race on her. Just explained what her parents are.
I would keep asking him questions about why he wants to be white to get to the root cause of who/how he formed this opinion. Heās been indocrinated.
Tate Diggs writes a lot of books called Chocolate me, and Mixed me. Another good book is the Color of us
1 Like
This is from a 4 year old? NO itās the adults confusing him
Why not leave color out of it and tell him heās perfect
ive had this talk with my daughterā¦i tell her brown is beautiful! shes okay with it now!
Tell him heās the human race
2 Likes
I would explain that he is black and the other race (Mexican, white, Filipino, etc.-You didnāt mention the other race of the father) because his dad is both races and tell him heās just like his dad. Thatās all he needs to know, he will figure things out. If he wants to claim heās white for now, no harm done.
1 Like
Hes 4 Iād say itās not a kid issue
5 Likes
Maybe sit with him and ask him why he is feeling that way? Youāll be surprised what a 4 year old opens up about and go from there. It might be worth showing him some inspirational people from all walks of life to show him that race doesnāt define what your capable of or define you as a person 
4 Likes
He is still young. He could grow out of this and accept that he is both. It may or may not happen but 50/50 chance. And itās ok if he chooses one or the other. And loveā¦is all that matters. Let him know he is gonna be loved just the same either way.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My child is mixed and confused about his race: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Its easier for kids to see it very literally. I would just make sure he knows his family background, but trying to tell him to see something he doesnāt visually see right now is hard and probably confusing. Give him a little more time.
12 Likes
Heās only 4 mama! Heāll understand when heās old enough. My son was adopted at birth (both of my kids were adopted) but we have an open adoption with his birth family, he understands age appropriate things.
He says things that make me cringe at times but I know heāll get it one day.
My daughters story is not colorful at all and I know that will be difficult when the time comes but, we all have something unique about ourselves and teaching him to love that heās biracial is whatās important right now (IMO). Keep being there and he will start asking more and more questions as he gets older. Youāre doing great
3 Likes
My boys are half white/Jewish from my husband and half Mexican. We live in a predominantly white neighborhood etc. I try and give them a since of pride of their Mexican heritage. We talk about it and we talk about racism. (even though they just look white) I think its important to keep an open dialog about all of their cultures and give them people they can look up too.
5 Likes
Unfortunately he may need time. Time to see who he really is. Iām sure he will be alittle more drawl to onside or another. I know itās sad that he has to go through this. But he is special and has the best of both worlds and just make sure thatās the message you send. Truthfully you know what to do but as any good mom would we doubt ourselves which is why u asked the question. You asked so you got it right. Kudos mom
Maybe if he saw other people like him, it would help him understand, either from his surrounding or athletes that are bi-racial. Maybe he would make the connection that way and be proud of both heritage. I know itās not the same, but growing up I was a plus size girl and growing up it the 2000ās was difficultĆ© because all my idols were very thin. When I was 20 I saw an interview with this plus size lady who embraced being plus size and it completely changed my perspective of myself. Hope that works itās amazing to be from a bi-racial or bi-cultural household.b
3 Likes
My son is 5 and is lighter skin with blue eyes. Iām half and half and his father is white. He got mad because he wasnāt brown like me but I also tell him he is, he just has lighter skin. I think itās just the age and wouldnāt worry about it.
1 Like
Iām sure he really probably doesnāt understand. I wouldnāt be too concerned and let him be a kid.
2 Likes
Explain how special it is that he can have both cultures and how only white people can never know the joy of (insert great thing here) and how only black people can never know the joy of (again, great thing here) and how he must be soooo special to get to be both, we had this with my little brother as a kid, weāre all white and heās half Pakistani, he hated the idea, but we made such a fuss of the great traditions that Pakistan is a part of that he was then desperate to be a part of it tooā¦ worked a treat, now heās proud of all of himself! Xx
8 Likes
My daughter is half Asian. We talked about it with her very early on so it wouldnāt be like a big deal hanging over her head. Sheās 9 and now jokingly says her race is āpolasianā ( polish and Asian lol) try not to make it a big deal. Just tell him everyone looks different.
2 Likes
Iād just drop it. Heās 4, his skin looks like what he perceives as white. He will get it later on.
Umm my son isnāt old enough to think about it yet but when the time comes Iām just going to tell him that that is how God made him. And he shouldnāt want to be anything else.
1 Like
Heās not confused about his race momma. They way you put it is heās learned early on how this world is and he knows being mixed or black makes it harder for you and itās not right for him to think that way this young.
My daughter is mixed and she embraced her black side. She is very happy. Let them decide?
At this age kids are freaking literal. Like we fully black and my son says heās brown Iām not arguing with a 6 year old over something heās right about. Now when it comes to the rest of my family heās still literal. White and brown 
until it comes a time and heās older I aināt trying to force it. But please expose him to both sides. Society makes it so hard for mixed children
4 Likes
My exās son asked us once āwhen he would be brownā. My ex was Mexican and he was half Mexican and half white. I think itās a natural curiosity/confusion. The child is wondering why they look different from a parent.
Explain everything to him and make him feel special. Iāve always told my kids they could be whatever they want and pick at them. Now they tell me on different days theyāre different colors. U have to make it fun but yet get them to understand whatās really going on.
Leave him alone about race and skin color, just let him be a kid
2 Likes
My kids are half white and half black. If you ask my daughter she isnāt. She is mixed with mashed potatoes Chocolate and princesses. She is 4.5
1 Like
I am mixed. Growing up I wanted to be like my dolls & mom, white and blue eyed. I expressed this to my mother very often. I was very self conscious & didnāt like my skin color as I got older. I never had someone tell me my skin is beautiful as a child and how proud I should b of being mixed. Keep explaining and complimenting him now because it very well can cause self image issues when older. Ive pushed through my own battles & learned to love myself & the skin Iām in. My kids are mixed and say it loud and proud at 4 & 2 years old. Keep educating him!
5 Likes
We are all full Puerto Ricanās who vary in shades drastically lol so since my son was 3 he was constantly expressing heās a different culture
As he got older books definitely helped him understand. We recently purchased this book n itās awesome!
My skin, Your Skin. Where doā¦ https://www.amazon.com/dp/1736765302?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Dad half and half what?
My son is 4, and heās white, and native American, I have tried to explain it to him and even show him my side which is cherokee indian, and he tells me no momma! Iām a white cowboy like my daddy 
I just let it be, one day he will understand as for now he owns several boots, cowboy hats, and even the little rodeo buck a rooā:joy: complete with chaps and the vest, itās Tonto and the lone ranger in my home.
If children are able to pick what gender they want to be why canāt they pick what race they want to be?
1 Like
Make it exciting because it is! Like āyes you are white AND black! Isnāt that cool? Some kids are just white, and some are just black but you are both and youāre so special!ā
1 Like
Hes 4 let him grow up a little.
2 Likes
I am half black and white with Cuban and Irish grandparents!. My son is a quarter of each because his dad had the recessive gene! He is 6 years old and still questions his race. I explain it the same way everytime but only time will tell! He doesnāt exaggerate that he is different but doesnāt acknowledge it either. To me he is perfect and always will be, but I will make sure he knows where he comes from! 
4 Likes
Everyone in these comments thatās saying let it go must not have seen what this does to people when they grow up. Smh anyways Just educate him everyday whenever you can on how itās amazing to be black 
put on black cartoons or movies (kid friendly) or once in a while educate him on black inventors randomly? Does he hang around other black people ? If not try to put him around other black people 
3 Likes
My kids are half first nations and half Scottish I made sure to learn and celebrate and even decor my home so they grew up knowing to be proud of their roots
Hi, I also have a son in his age. Well I am Mexican and his half from his dad āwhiteā so his a mix. Has brown stain like me. His so little I wouldnāt think itās a problem what he wants to be itās ok his mixed I think. Of course if he is darker he will figure it out. My son also stated that he was white. But I just brush it off and I donāt point. I donāt think itās necessary as long as he knows his both and cultures of course but he can be who even he wants to me there no labelsā¦ or does it matter ? The colour. Only culture of course. I wouldnāt think much of it. I do try to teach him about my culture and stuff maybe thatās something you could do too? But to label him as a skin colour it donāt matter and you shouldnāt make it a big deal either. Hope this advice help you.
Mine has trouble convincing people theyāre Chinese these days. Weāve had some interesting incidents. A photo of them when they had strawberry blonde hair for Chinese New Year surrounded by fully Chinese kids who were also confused and support teachers insisting they use yellow paint to represent skin colour (with the Irish green eyes and orange paint for the hair). We deliberately chose schools with a high percentage of mixed race and different race kids. It meant they didnāt need to see themselves as a particular race. It can be a problem being black - itās all over the news - as the Chinese kids have to put up with bullying about causing Covid. People are also colourist - the paler the skin the better in all races and cultures. Teach him your background and culture rather than focusing on race or skin colour so he can be proud of you and his Dad. I donāt think mine feels Irish or Chinese and their coffee coloured skin doesnāt suggest either anyway.
My daughter comprehended more with carmel it was her own race. At first she didnt understand why we were separate colorsā¦ lol now today she is BLACK and is very proud of it and makes jokes about me being white lol not to be mean or ill heartedā¦ but Iāll do something she will say that must be something white people do 
2 Likes
Iāve always told my kids that everyoneās heart is the same color and that is what matters.
5 Likes
Iām mixed race Ojibway/Scots with some French and itās a journey your child will learn from. Itās a blessing to be able to have perspectives of two worlds. Encourage them to learn about their history and be proud
2 Likes
My son is Guatemalan and white, raised by only whites. I have never left it a question. I tell him āyou are are Hispanicā. Because he has dark skin, that is the way the world will see him. When he says he wants to look like me, I explain how heās the perfect mix of his father and me and I go over what his fatherās race is again and where heās from.
4 Likes
Maybe he should be able to identify as he sees fit. I donāt think the issue is him having a problem being part blackā¦his issue is probably yāall pushing some shit on him.
He might just have a friend who is white and likes the way he looks.
My son is super white lol blond hair and blue eyes but just this week he told me how being black would be cooler because he would look like his friend. He doesnāt have a complex, just likes the way his friends look.
3 Likes
I think kids see things as one or the other at that age, black or white, good or bad, the truth or a lie, they donāt see the in between if anything. It will come with age and then he will understand better.
I think you need to talk about why he feels that way so you can understand him, he may get frustrated trying to come up with the words be patient with him.
Get books. Sulwe, by Lupita Ngoyo is one, but there are many nowadays that show the different shades of us & help kids embrace it
thats sad, its because of all this BS going on today, hes 4 and should`nt even have to think about this stuff at his age [or any age really] but its everywhere, you just hear about race and colors everywhere
3 Likes
No. This seems like someone is telling him some stuff.
3 Likes
Maybe help him identify as mixed instead of one or the other. Sit down with him and point down the ancestry on both sides, the countries that he comes from and learn about some of them.
No more racial profiling im Australian. Its so racist to talk like this and its honestly hurting our young and our communities. We are one but we are many. Keep the raceās in Sport.
3 Likes
My sister is mixed, when we were little this exact thing happened. Just make sure they know itās okay to be both. Kids picked on my sister really bad and she had a hard time emotionally because she didnāt feel accepted from either sides. Itās very tough for some children, just let them know they are loved and beautiful. I would just leave it alone for now until they are old enough to understand they are both. Definitely donāt push towards 1 side, they are both so talk to them about both or you can open up them feeling ashamed of the other color. I hope this helps! Support from the family will always be best. Just hang in thereā¤
1 Like
My son is half Italian and his complexion is very dark, especially compared to my pale ass. 
He didnāt understand why he was āwhiteā but still so dark, when he was youngerā¦ I honestly think it mostly had to do with other kids at school. I know it is not the same scenario at all and I am so sorry your son feels like he shouldnāt be proud of both races. It must be really confusing and possibly even scarey for him right now. Keep supporting him and encourage learning all of the positive things about your familyās history and all the great things black people have accomplished and overcome.
2 Likes
Iām a mixed race too and I was also very confused growing up, Iām half white and half Indonesian. I can tell you wait till heās older heāll understand it better. 
2 Likes
My boys are mexican,Puerto Rican and black my oldest who is 8 always asked what he was when he was little because someone said he didnāt look Hispanic so I had to explain to him everyone comes in different shades. So maybe someone said something to him or he over heard a conversation.
My kids are mix and have quite light skin my son keeps saying his white and I keep saying he is white and black. I donāt think kids understand until a certain age. They see the colour of their skin and think thatās that. Just keep with the positive messages and give it time x
1 Like
4 turning 5 how does a child at that age even know about race/skin color unless theyāre being taught it ā¦ like wtf
1 Like
Itās only a problem for children when adults make them aware of it. Ever see a black child playing with a white child? They play, they donāt spend their time talking about their colour. Adults on the other hand are worried that their 4 year old might call themself white so they go to fb for helpš¤¦āāļø
1 Like
When my son was in kindergarten somebody called him a zebra and he came home and asked me why. I said it was probably because his father is black and I am white then he promptly looked at me and said ābut Iām not striped-Iām brown so I think Iām gonna be a brown bearā. Now when we moved from the north to the south and away from our family who have many mixed children he had difficulty being too white for his black friends and too black for his white friends- but he participated in sports and excelled and found his tribe who are all shades.
I donāt get why anyone even cares. Iāve never thought about it and you are all nuts
1 Like
A little different situation than yours but My youngest son when he was in kindergarten went through a phase questioning why he wasnāt black like his best friend in his class. He proceeded to blame and throw a tantrum towards his dad and I for giving him the wrong color skin as a baby. I told him that we cannot predetermine our skin color and that we are born the race God Chose for us. I said everyone is unique and beautiful no matter what color their skin isā¦ Didnāt change how he felt ā¦ he was 6 and wanted to be black not white. He did eventually move on from it and stoped questioning why he looked different.
Maybe try finding unique ways to get him interested in his culture. Maybe do a ancestry dna test showing him heās more than just a boy with biracial parents. It might be fun for him to have a more in-depth understanding of where his family came from and what gave him his beautiful olive skin. I find learning about my familyās heritage fascinating and fun. He might too.
He doesnāt understand the white and black race. He is seeing his color and that is all since he is so young just keep informing him he is a beautiful black and white boy n he will understand as he gets older 
1 Like
Look for mixed race YouTube videos
heās probably confused with you telling him heās black when he doesnāt look black to himself. yk?
Heās only 4, i canāt imagine him understanding race very well.
Just teach him as he grows!!
1 Like
Heās very young. He will understand more when heās older. Keep introducing your different cultures to him! He will start to grasp onto the differences in food, music and traditions.
1 Like
My sons are mixed and we call them brown. My younger son is not there yet but my older son who also is olive tone seems to understand very well that his parents look different and his white cousins parents are the same tone. We point out that even tho he is a lighter shade he still has mommy and daddys tones mixed that makes him. I really loved the book mixed up mike when my son was about 4 we read it to him a lot and he liked it.
If heās being persistent, then donāt argue with him. Just nod your head or go on to something else.
He might think heās not black because his skin might not be the same tone as yours. And having other members sit down and talk to him doesnāt seem necessary yet.
Hes little.
My daughter thought she and a little girl were sisters when they were that age and they were different races.
They donāt understand at that age.
Too young my kids are four and five and they Donāt understand they say I have friends of all colors mom itās so cool we all look different but we all love being friends just say weāre all like crayons or markers different but still want the same to be friends and have fun no matter the color were all people
We are a family of several races. I have read some research articles that suggested kids of mixed race who have relationships with other kids of mixed race tend to have a better sense of identity later on. Everyone is different though so that is not true for every child. In the end he will have to develop his own identity.
It will passā¦I remember when my (now 24 age) son was about 6 I picked him up from school one day and as we drove away I could see he was sad. I asked what was the matter. He immediately began to cry. He said he must look āstrangeā. I asked why? He said kids said heās half and half. A asked what he meant. He said he must look funny cuz half his face is Japanese and the other half is Mexican. I then realized he thought literally he was split in half! I then assured him he is āblendedā and has a beautiful face. I told him those kids werenāt being meanā¦that they just didnāt know how to describe him. He looked relieved.
I say let him be what and who he wants to be. He will grow up and figure it out. Right now he knows no better. Kids will be kids.