My child keeps sneaking out: What should I do?

3rd time catching my 14-year-old son sneaking out. My husband woke up to take the dog out at 2 am and my son was gone. I called his phone, and he avoided my calls at first. He finally answered and said he was at his buddy’s house and was on his way home. I don’t know who his buddy is or where he lives, but I know the last two times I caught him sneaking out, it was to go meet up with his girlfriend. They had a pregnancy scare. I don’t want to be a grandparent YET. I’m only 32, and my son is not ready to be a father at 14-15. He will be 15 in December. After disciplining him, taking away electronics, checking on him throughout the night, I’m feeling defeated. He is a good kid, always been polite, good in school. But I just started this rebellious stage two months ago and even smoked marijuana a few times in those two months. Granted, I was a rebellious teenager, so I knew the signs he was up to something; he is a terrible liar because he has always been an honest kid. I don’t know what to do. He isn’t doing hard drugs or anything super illegal. Marijuana is legal in my state, but he is still a minor. I just don’t know what to do to keep him inside all night and keep him from becoming a father. Ugh, yes, we have talked about protection, he is really smart, but he is making dumb decisions. It’s just that he is my oldest child, and it’s just beginning. Anyone going through this? Any advice? I know being super strict won’t help, and I know that not giving a care in the world about what he does will not help. I’m clueless.

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sneak out with him stay up till you hear him getting ready to leave and be outside waiting like where we going we getting lit tonight or what :upside_down_face::woman_shrugging: i plan to do this with my daughters thank god there still babies but i think you should try this I wish you the best of luck I know kids that are 14-15 and think there hot stuff for having a baby being a baby themselves still

they make these little magnetic alarms that you can put on windows and doors. When a window or door opens and the magnets seperate the alarms go off. You could put them on the outside of his bedroom windows and on all the other exits in the house and turn them on at night? Might not be able to have them all on the outside however bc you would need to get back in your house after turning them all on :thinking: still something to try and work with.

You can’t stop him, kids aren’t yours to control as you please. He needs to be provided with the information and tools to have safe sex because it’s just insane to ask a human to stop being a human. Explain all the dangers of sneaking out, like child trafficking boys are not excluded from being kidnapped. Secondly I’d start providing him with more freedom within his own house so he doesn’t feel like he has to sneak out to get freedom. It’s impossible to ask a child to blindly follow your orders. It takes lots of communication and consistency. He’s lacking control over his own life and you buckling down to punish him instead of explaining that it’s dangerous and scares you when he leaves in the middle of the night is only driving him to continue his behavior. Back up and chill out. Approach this the way teenage you would have wanted your parents to do so not the way they taught you to approach this.

I’ve been where you are and it’s an awful situation because the cops can only bring them home and if they leave again they will look for them and bring them home it’s an endless battle

Let them spend time together, then there would be no need to sneak out. Get him some condoms and teach about safe sex. Give suggestions for the girlfriend to go on birth control with or without her parents permission. In another year he will be driving. He’s not a little boy. Yeah maybe there’s some boys that age that still act like 10 year olds. When I was 15 my mom let my long term boyfriend sleep over in the livingroom on occasion. We would go over each other’s houses often… and talk at night. Actually ended up breaking up to be best friends and have had a close relationship for 20years. I’m thankful my mom let me spend time and make memories with him. I’m sure there are many teens at that age that run away because they aren’t allowed to experience life and are being smothered. Be more flexible and give guidance.

Sit him down in a casual setting. Take him to dinner just you and him, maybe even go see a movie before hand. And then tell him how much you love him, how smart and capable you think he is. Tell him the truth about how scared you are of the road he is going down and how his intelligence does not match his actions as of late. Tell him he can trust you, with ANYTHING. Give him the option of confidentiality, tell him that at any time he can talk to you and what he says will never be told to anyone else. And tell him that if at any time day or night if he needs you, you will come get him no questions asked. Don’t try to force him to do anything, that will make him rebel harder, but set boundaries. And I would have an honest conversation with his girlfriend’s mother about birth control. You cannot stop teens from having sex, they will find a way.
If my parents had done even half of the advice I’ve given, I probably wouldn’t have done most of the things I had done as a teen.

You need to stop being afraid to be stern with him. All the comments of advice on the Facebook post are too coddling & enabling of that nature. Then we wonder why we have teenagers walking around like they have no home training. It’s because they have none. Stop trying to negotiate with a child that wants to act grown. A child is to remain in a child’s place. The solution is to whoop that ass!!! Stop being afraid to discipline your kids & you wouldn’t have disrespectful little s**ts that don’t act right. I don’t want to hear the excuses that “he might need help”. Stop babying your disrespectful brat of a teenager & put him back in his place. He gets in your face you get in his.

Start putting window alarms and door alarms on everything you think he’d sneak out. And if you know someone with a infant as in 2-6 weeks old have him baby sit the infant and tell him after babysitting the baby that he’d being doing that 24/7

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My child keeps sneaking out: What should I do?

Door and window alarms

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Get an alarm system with window sensors. And dont give him the code. Only you and your husband be the only ones that have the code. That way you will know when he tries to leaves.

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Cameras outside of the home and alarms

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Get in contact with her mom. I would want to know if my son was sneaking into someone’s home. What if one night he gets shot because neither her parents or I knew he was there?

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Time for alarms. Period. On every window and door and cameras.

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Window alarms,door alarms,cameras inside the house,bars on windows :woman_shrugging: Sarah Diveley

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What the heck is the girls friends parents doing. Send him to military school. That will straighten him out

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Next time lock him out.

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Yes get alarms on all doors/windows and i would be talking to his girlfriends parents… Tell them they are sexually active and that she needs to be on birth control unless they want to be raising a grandbaby.

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Helping him understand not knowing where he is could be detrimental if something happened to him or you.
If not. Alarms.

And baby scare. Send him to a daycare or bring some babies over for a few hours to let him see its no joke.

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Your whore genes rubbed off on him , ur screwed.

Door and window alarms. And don’t give him the code.

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When we hit this stage my husband loosened a floor board outside of the boys bedroom and it’s the whole length of the hallway…you can’t avoid that floorboard so at least I heard him when he tried.

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“super illegal?” Hahahaha… Sorry. I get where you are coming from…but in the eyes of the law, illegal is illegal. Maybe make him sleep in your room. Also door alarms.

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Take his cell, & put alarms on the doors and windows.

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Lawwwwdd good luck!! Going through the same with one of my daughter’s. We did invest in cameras!

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14 year old and a pregnancy scare already wow.

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My dad nailed the screens of my window in when I was a teen. I’m with door and window alarms. Maybe even go a step further and as a family, everyone has to keep their phones charging in a different room overnight to keep his access to others limited during those hours

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Alarms with cameras inside and outside your house.

Security system. Attached to his window and whatnot. Set at bedtime. It’ll sound if his window opens.

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You can get window alarms. My 15 year old nephew snuck out one night to go skateboarding with his friends and was hit and killed by a drunk driver. I would do whatever I needed to do to make sure he stops. It isn’t always about what they are doing, but others actions can have an impact too.

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Praying for you & your family.

Alarms on the windows and doors?!

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Some of those home smart gadget devices that hook to ur phone and have add on gadgets like window sensors it could alert ur phone if window or door opens

Put life 360 on his phone. If he shuts it off or disables it, turn off his phone.

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Install an alarm. System . Speak to him and his girlfriend with her parents

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Get door and window alarms.

His phone will tell you where he id

Don’t make your home a prison. Push all the birth control options at him and make available. If they’ve already had a pregnancy scare, obviously they are 2 hot and horny teenagers and they will find a way. Not just in the middle of the night. Talk to them and get the protection

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Who wakes up at 2am to take the dog out?

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Window and door alarms!

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Baby monitor might be cheaper than an alarm system

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I would sit him down & have a heat to heart with him. Tell him everything you just said in this post. Relate to him & understand he’s growing up, but he’s still a kid & you still worry.

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Let the kid live his life ffs

He’ll only be a teen once

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I’d start with her parents—- why are they allowing them to spend the night with each other? You can only do so much- as for you- alarms on doors and windows will alert you to his night activities

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Be sure to keep him stocked up with condoms…
#nolovewithoutaglove

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Ok so let him smoke weed at home and u can make sure he’s smoking product thats not going to hurt him, you can monitor that he isn’t going overboard and its a reward system for good grades/behavior/chores and let him sleep with his girlfriend granted they’re using protection and they’re in a safe place. Builds trust with you too. Its really not that big of a deal. All you parents saying security systems and nail the windows shut and drug screens are the ones that don’t have relationships with your kids and your kids resent you.

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Definitely do an alarm system (my house has one that actually beeps and tells you what window or door has been opened). I don’t know how you’d feel about it, but I would sit down and talk with the girls parents as well. If they don’t know what’s going on they need to.

I see a ton of toxic advice on here. Dear God.

The only thing that you’re going to be able to do is build a sense of trust. Trying to keep him where he doesn’t want to be will just make him leave and not come back one day. You need to be able to sit down and actually talk about things. And he needs to feel comfortable enough to call you at any time regardless of where he is or what he is doing. The less you try to control him the less he will want to try to rebel.

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Make him sleep on the floor next to your bed

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Security system and space away from the girlfriend. You can add an app called life 360 and it will show you where he goes.

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Alarms for all doors & windows. This was me as a teen & i always used the window :joy::rofl:. My kids could try but I’ve done it all at that age. Pot really isn’t that big of a deal but i really would alarm everything in your house & take his phone away. He’ll have to earn it back

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Alarms. Maybe have a talk with the girlfriends parents too about what to do? maybe make a plan together

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Motion sensor alarms- he doesn’t get the code and for sure contact her parents. They need to be aware of their kids actions as well.

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Alarm system, no cellphone, more activities and responsibilities. Also, more contact with girlfriend’s parents. I’m sure they do not want to be grandparents either. A united front would help!

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First and foremost, going to her parents will cause problems w them and her and he and you. So unless you’re willing to deal w that ordeal I’d be very careful. He’s 14 and confiding in you he’s sexually active meaning there’s trust for you there which is big. I’d talk w them together honestly and when you do so be very assertive but not strict on the rules of this relationship. He’s goin to do this because he’s a kid and that’s what teenagers do but locks alarms and all that isn’t gonna stop him he’ll find ways around them. I’d also tell them they can have set times to see each other but after a certain time they need to be in bed at home otherwise revoke that Privilege

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If he has an iPhone, make a find my iPhone. You’ll be able to track his phone that way whenever you need. And keep him stocked up on condoms

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My house has camreas in every room🤷‍♀️

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Geeni, it is sold at Walmart and cal alert you if doors or windows are opened. It has cameras that can be set up. Then you have proof and there is no lying necessary. It allows for security both in and out of the home and no discussion is necessary.

I am going through the exact same thing with my 14 almost 15 year old oldest son. What I’ve been doing is cameras at all exits, and am going to put in the alarms that sound when a window or door is open. Also this age is vary rebellious. As you said you were a teen that was rebellious I was too so I knew the signs and the excuses to get out of things. My biggest fear is him becoming a father because kids deserve to be kids and babies deserve a stable life which he is not ready for. I would talk to the girlfriend and her parents and let them know and also about birth control or safe sex. As much as we want to stop it we can’t so the only thing we can do is try to make them safe.

Your brat has no respect for you!

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Shit…go out with him…WHERE WE GOING!

Alarms for doors & all windows.

Stop it now. He’s 14. Having sex, sneaking out and doing drugs. That’s a lot. It will only progress from there. Find something now to prevent him from becoming a father to young or trying harder drugs before it’s too late

He’s not too old for an old fashioned spanking! That’s what I got at 15 when I did the same thing. I learned my lesson!

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This is why I have adt! Haha We originally got cameras and alarms for safety, as I was a SAHM, and husband worked alot(having 4 under the age of 5, It was nice knowing when doors opened or whatever) We kept adt, because teens are sneaky! My kids are now 12-16, and I know after 8pm, the alarms on, and my “perfect” children, and all inside for the night :joy::rofl:

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Sounds like he changed from when this new girl entered his life. Get more info about her. Maybe talk with her parents. He won’t sneak out if she can’t!

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Cheap camera off Amazon. They run 40 and up. Also you can put an app on your phone to track his and yours. I went through Google play found a free one and downloaded it. I wanted it incase my daughter’s phone was stolen or lost.

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Speak with a family counselor. Yes, teenagers act out. However, this is really early and may have to do with underlying issues that need to be addressed. He obviously has no respect for you.

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Let him do his thing and trust him… trying to stop him will only make him rebel more and ruin your relationship with him…

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Have you tt the girlfriends parents about birth control?
I’m a mother of all boys and there is only so much we can do…so I chat w the gfs and their parents about protecting her. We encourage our boys to use protection as well, not only for pregnancy but also for stds
I’m very pro life so talking about and even showing an abortion is also an option in my house but it’s your call
My parents would lock my windows and doors from the outside. They also set alarms to wake up off and on during the night to check if I was still home (I had a door that went directly outside)

I’m kinda lenient…I just tell my kids to be honest and they’ll prob get to do what they want as long as I know what’s going on and where they are.
Good luck!!

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Brittney Denise Seals

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Am I the only one who feels like he’s gonna find a way no matter what - so make sure he’s got/using condoms or explain how to access plan b?

Alarming the whole house or going to her parents is going to kill any ounce of trust y’all have. He’s gonna be a teen. Make sure he’s safe and prepared.

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It’s a tuff thing to try to get kids to do the right thing sometimes and there is nothing parents can do about it when the kids want to do things you want them to do. All you can do is warn about the bad things that can happen and hope they make good decisions when it really counts.

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Find out who the girl is and talk to her parents. They can take preventative actions too.
Unless your son “likes” boys, I highly doubt he’s sneaking out at night to hang with buddies. Lol!

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911 what I did to mine girl,

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Call the cops… Boy wants to act a fool, shoe him what happens to fools

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He could be depressed, and he probably knows he can’t talk to his parents. Cause you’ll probably think he’s just going through a at strange stage in his life…

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Does he get to go places ?

Screws in the windows, alarms!!! You can get door and window alarms that when the door or window opens it will definitely wake you up!!! Call the police I know it sucks and you don’t want too but it’s better for his safety!

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Go talk to his girlfriend’s parents…

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A lot of parents have went soft on their kids.:open_mouth: Don’t let him do whatever he wants to do. Put an alarm system in your house or a baby monitor. My parents always either whopped my ass and grounded me or kept taking things. Finally when I got older if I didn’t be back at my curfew I was locked out. :woman_shrugging:t3: Guess what? 28 years old now and I still am to scared to EVER get in trouble bcuz of the DISCIPLINE my parents gave me.

I’ve gone through this, not with my own kids but something I’ve done. My mom was very strict as far as not letting me hang out with my friends on weekends and staying over, etc. I would sneak out. My mom never found out though. (I was 14 to age 16 - moved out at 16) I told my mom a few years ago, I wouldn’t have snuck out if she would have trusted me enough to allow me to go out and enjoy my friends and to have just set the boundaries of saying be home by such and such time. She never gave me those opportunities. Heck she never gave any of us kids that opportunity thus why all of us snuck out. My advice, don’t ruin your sons privacy with camera and such, just set boundaries and expectations because one way or another they will do it once they set their minds to it. And for me, I was a great kid growing up. Straight A’s, intelligent, never got into trouble and still today at 33, I’ve never been in trouble, never done any drugs, have never even got a ticket for anything. But I do wish that I had that awesome communication with my mom when I was a teen. I never felt comfortable coming to her for anything because she never open the dialog for conversation to explain to me about dangers of the “outside” world or sex, etc.

You should get those alarm so when he tries to sneak out they will go off and he won’t be able to get out. I am so worried about my son getting older and doing the same. He is eight years old with ADHD and ODD and he is already very hard to discipline he doesn’t listen he yells I try so hard to teach him good manners and leave him in the right direction but it’s up to him… it sucks for kids that have issues because then it looks bad on the parent like we’re not doing everything we can for them sometimes you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink……

Put tracking device on his phone and he can’t see it

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Report him to the police!

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He’d be sleeping on my bedroom floor I’d also look into counseling but he wouldn’t be going anywhere. If he runs away again call cops have them go pick him up see if it scares him straight.

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so you were pregnant with him at 16 yourself?

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I have a #100 count box of condoms new of course if you need. Being serious.

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I agree with the camera/alarm idea. I used to be this kid and I guarantee if I knew there was an alarm set/camera watching I would have definitely thought twice

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Sis!
BEAT :clap:t4: THAT :clap:t4: ASS!!!
And I say this as my 14 year is next to me saying the same thing! Lol

Alarms and no electronics at night

I feel like some of these comments are alarming. :sweat_smile:
I personally would sit him down and ask him why he feels like he needs to sneak out of the house. During this conversation I would make sure that you set your feelings aside and really listen to your child. He may be going through something that is making him feel rebellious or even feels as if he is being treated unfairly, especially if you have younger kids. Make sure that during the conversation that you explain to him that you aren’t mad and that you just want to understand why he is leaving the house. Make sure that you set boundaries with him. Ask him what he thinks is fair, if you don’t feel that he is ready for what he tells you then explain you side and make a compromise. Not everything has to be a fight with your children and you don’t have to have a power struggle. Teaching them that he needs to respect the boundaries set by both of you is how he keeps the privilege’s that he has.

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I don’t know all this being strict doesn’t work business … my kids have rules and they have to accompany… no electronic is able to be permitted without GPS… they turn it off and they lose the electronic … we have cameras at front and back of home and the alarm is set at night … remind them when it’s time for bed that it’s going on so don’t even try and throw trash out … Kids have lots of fun activities and freedoms during the day but fun ends at 9pm unless someone is sleeping over at our home so we can rest knowing kids all accounted for…he is super young to be sexual active so maybe find some local resources to have him volunteer with shelters or so to see how hard life can be if not handled with proper planning … Good luck and may prayers … I would also speak to his GF parents to make sure they are on same page to avoid any pregnancies or after hours shenanigans

Honey, you’re the mama. Do what it takes…as in take away his internet access, phone, and handcuff him to you when you go to bed and make him sleep with you until you can have an alarm system installed that he doesn’t know the code to.

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Get an alarm system and put it on all windows and doors. Set the alarm early when you know for sure he is still home. Make sure it’s a good code on the alarm system. One that he would never know!

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I would put alarms up and camera’s up. Telling children of the dangers of being out does not work children see their self’s as invincible. I would contact the girl friend’s parent’s let them know what was happening. I would take computer’s and phones in the evening so plans to meet up couldn’t happen. Also put a gps tracker on the phone so you can know where your son is. Talk with the son see what he is thinking. Get him a job after school and let him know what earning your owe money feels like. Maybe give him bill’s to pay put the monies he pays in the bank for him. Show him what being a adult is about. Good luck and God bless.

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I’m so sorry about that.
I would buy the portable alarms that attach to doors and windows, which go off when open. I’ve seen them in Amazon

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Invest in some motion activated cameras… Blink is what Amazon sells and it works so well! Also, have you had a talk with the girls parents, or even the girl herself… I’m sure they had rather have their daughter on birth control than have a grand baby so young. Put the tracking thing on his phone so at least you have an idea of where he is. Good luxk

Oh momma my heart goes to you right now. I have 2 over the age of 18 and we’re pretty good kids. Did not sneak out or smoke. My oldest had a g/f who said she was pregnant. I know my son had not had sex. Come to find out she cheated. I went straight to her mom. My son was so mad but as a mom you want to protect them. Growing up I rebelled and my parents did not do much. Was pregnant at 17. My best peace of advice is to sit and talk with him. He is trying to grow up but still needs you. As much as you wanna yell it will push him away. Please reach out toe if you wanna talk. :heart: