My husband use to lock every way back in to the house so they would have to come to the front door to get in.It worked.
I was in his place at that age and I ended up a young mother, I had my son at 17 and heās the reason I turned my life around and straightened up because he deserved better and I wanted to give him that.
Honestly the best advise I can give you from someone who was there is sit him down and talk to him because something is going on or he is just caught up in the wrong crowd. Talk to him about the importance of protection and show him pictures and get detailed. The only sex Ed I had was in school and by then I wasnāt paying attention in school anyway. Give in a little bit and let the girlfriend come over or let them go out on a date but if he doesnt listen ground him for a weekend and they canāt see each other, then you need to step it up and watch him on the weekends heās grounded but give him a little trust and make sure he knows how important it is not to break it because you donāt want to be over the top security for him
I nailed the window shut on my son and a scream alarm on doors, took his phone in 10th grade and never got him another, I had a blast with the fake random drug tests. It stayed that way until he joined the army. They have reinforced the awesome dude I raised. Oldest daughter I put in our room on cot. I planted Spanish bayonet outside her windows. Do whatever it takes for you and your family. Everyone thinks they have the best advice. Radical response worked best for me every time.
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Get a home alarm and set it every nightā¦so that if he opens the door or window you will hear itā¦also grab his phone and put a tracker on it
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Plant a rose bush under his window (or some other thorny bush) place one of those cheap alarms on the outside of his door and turn it on after he goes into his room for the night.
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Went through this with 2 girls at the same time and we got to the point of putting alarms on doors and bolting windows shut just to keep them in. I also removed their bedroom fory and hung a curtain so they had the privacy they needed and took all phones. The only computer in the house was in the living room so I could see what they had going on. They had to earn trust back and that took a long time to do.
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All of you that Iāve seen commenting so far are talking about ways to āendā the behavior. Yeah, definitely get alarms and cameras to find out his patterns, but tbh, he probably doesnāt feel like he can talk already given the pregnancy scare and prior punishment due to it. Sit him down, not to interrogate, but to talk about what he wants for his future, what he wants with his āgirlfriendā, etc.
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Put alarms like these outside his window or door.
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I had a friend who had a similar problem with her sonā¦ She ended up installing alarms on windows and doors and that solved the problem of the sneaking outā¦
Talk to him about why you are doing this. Be understanding and gentle, donāt yell (you donāt want him to hate you and hide things from you)
Tell him you donāt want to do this kind of thing but you will have to because you fear for his safetyā¦
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Nail the windows from outside. My dad did that
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Mabey trust him with a curfew.
Removing of my phone/stero or grounded never actually stopped me from sneaking out
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You need to be honest with him. My kids keep running off without telling me where theyāre going, they know better, they donāt do it often, but they did yesterday and I was pissed. I showed them a video of sex trafficking, because Iām not going to shield them from the world and its shittiness. Be open and honest and donāt ābarkā at him about it, just be like dude, when I was your age or a lil older I xyz, and these decisions will cost you in the long run, etc. Could help. Maybe set some boundaries. Have his girlfriend come over to the house instead, whatever it takes to keep him around, as long as heās not hurting himself.
Do you know his girlfriendās mum? Can you get on the same page regarding sex and the risks? I would recommend giving him a curfew and letting him test his social boundaries a little or he may rebel completely
It sounds like it is time to sit them both down and talk about safe sex. Before you end up being a grandma. Kids are going to have sex reguardless if you want them to or not. You might as well be taking precautions since they are already having sex. Unfortunately the more to try to keep them apart the more you are going to push them together.
Have her spend the night but take his door off thatās how my mom got me to stop sneaking out 
communicate with her parents and let them know your concerns and team up with them
If you are not ready to get strict, get ready to post bail. Lots of it.
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I had an alarm on my door and windows. I never was one to sneak out but as a foster kid it was the rules in my foster family. It worked well at keeping the kids inside
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Remember that all them suggestions about locking him in canāt stop him from seeing his GF at school. Be careful how strict you are. Educate him about pregnancy, encourage using condoms, explain what you fear without blame.
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You need to speak with the girlfriends parents and express your not feeling OK with them sneaking around to be together at 2 am. Iād tell him he wonāt be getting a vehicle with this behavior (if that is a goal when he can drive). My daughter will be getting her dream car (she started saving at 11 y/o) but bet your butt that car will be my bargaining tool to keep her in line 
. Iād also be putting a tracker on his phone.
Im shocked by the amount of responses saying " put alarms all over your house" " put a tracking device on their phone and dont tell them"!!! News flash parents, you cannot control everything your kids do. If they want something bad enough they will find a way. They are almost adultsā¦maybe try and treat them as such. Try and communicate with them and find a compromise. Strict parents are the #1 cause of rebellious kids.
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I ran away when I was a kid my parents just called the cops after like the 4th time they took me to juvie was there about 3 weeks never ran away again.
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I used to run away and meet my boyfriends and go to parties, but my mother raised me right and while I was having fun with people I trusted, I was raised to make proper decisions for myself and trust that youāve raised him right 
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We have adt sensors on all our door and windows the main box for it is in our room everytine something opens its says it plain and loud what was opened I have the MGM Gaurdian app on our daughters phone it allows you to see everything on their phone I only look through it if my daughter is being suspicious or I think sheās up to no good itāll even allow you to see all social media texts and calls and you can put a timer where it shuts their phone off between certain times with that we also have Life360 since she is driving and is gives down to the address of where she is and has been
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Hes got a gf theyāre already having sex. I would be enforcing trust rule she can stay as long as her parents agree to it and use are here. Get on a good plan with her parents makesure sheās on birth control. But her staying comes with responsibility like respecting the house rules no going out without permission school is to not be affected by it. Instead of trying to force the behavior to stop cause it forces it in to secrecy. Bring it to the table open honest mature conversations.
If hes typically a good kid and you think hes acting at as of recently talk.to.him.
Is something going on at home that heās having a hard time dealing with?
Is he acting out for attention?
Is he allowed to hang out with his girlfriend outside of his sneaking out?
Talk to her parents?
Sneaking out, lying etc etc is never okā¦ but if you dont find the underlying cause of his recent behaviorā¦ no punishment is going to help for the long termā¦ he will just sneak around at school or any other time he has the opportunity to do so
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Maybe talk w the girls parents. Get her on bc. Too young to be parents. Theyāre still kids themselves.
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You said he is a good kidā¦so invite the girl over and have a conversation with both of them together about protection and that you will not have your son sneaking out of your house to sneak into hers. If her parents donāt know about him, let her know that she needs to be honest with them as well. It is not your place to tell her parents unless their behavior becomes out of control. If she gets caught up with her parents after you spill to them, your son will act out more towards you directly. Teens will be teens and treating him like a criminal and locking him in will only make him rebel more.
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from someone who was the exact same wayā¦he wont stop and will just do dangerous things to find a way. punishing and grounding and forcing him not to see her will create an issue that could push him to make decisionsthat will have lifetime consequences. ā¦what worked for my parents was welcoming the boyfriend to come aroundā¦put me on the depo shot that they drove me to get on the exact day every 3 month and relaxed their issues with me beling allowed at his house and started letting me spend a fair amount of time at his house under the promise that i kept my grades up and was behaving responsibly while i was at school and at his houseā¦and it got a lot better from thereā¦try and find a common ground to compromise on
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No matter what you do, your between a rock and a hard place. My boys are still pretty young, so I have time. My girls were great when it came to this kind of stuff.
All I can say isā¦ Do what you think is right. You are his mother, you are trying to protect him. Even if what you decide feels unfair to him, in the long run, he will thank you.
Wish I could give you better advice
All Iām saying is I was a fairly responsible kid who made some VERY sketchy decisions at that age and snuck out A LOT. While joy riding the family truck at 15 years old street racing partying smoking drinking etc. The only way they would stop me by was literally parking my vehicles in where I physically couldnāt get out. Sometimes I donāt understand how Iām alive with how many close calls I had while street racing and stuff. Sure I knew what was right and wrong but when my daughter becomes that age if she doesnāt listen the hammer is dropping. I got lucky some of my friends didnāt. Sorry kid when you become an adult you can make your own decisions. Until then Iām sorry. You will stay safe under my care. Obviously we will always communicate (as much as a mother and daughter can 
) but sometimes that just isnāt enoughā¦. Not to mention the world has gotten a lot worse since when I was growing up. Please donāt think this is the world you grew up in. Iād rather be hated for three years and him be safe 
Every kid is different yes but there are harsh consequences that can reach them regardless.
Talk to your son about safe sex. Get him condoms. If you know heās having sex, at least give him the resources to stay safe and tell him how much a baby would impact his young life.
I snuck out. Primarily because I hated my home environment. I would just say, listen Iāve done what you are doing. Whatās it going to take to get this to stop. Maybe see what his thoughts are. All in all, you are the parent. Good luck momma.
Talk with the gf mom n get her on birth control?
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Get alarms for window and doors
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sit with him talk to him make boundaries for me let him know you listen , also let him know everyone has the Wight to first love , be open with all subjects . remember your first love you were young once to. protecting on both sides, by punishing him you wont win , but by helping him to make good dissensions your a winnerā¦just say no you can t but with good argument ,and reword him with a something else reasonable for you to protect him .also include her in you family activities you would get to know her ā¦hes still young so be on his side ,your good you will make him realize the rest
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Teach him and her about the dangers of growing up too soon.Child predators are everywhere.Running away is a sure sign and can become dangerous quickly.
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Ring the police station qnd tell them to come pick him up put him in a cell for 2 days and treat him how they would treat any other crim actually put him in a cell with another hard crim so he can see what his future has instore for him , abit overboard? Who cares might wake him up ā¦
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Super illegal? How is that processed in the court of law?
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Let his girlfriend stay at yours.
He will never leave.
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Cameras and alarms on all the windows/doors at the house that you can monitor in your room. Also, set up tracking on his phone so you can see where heās at on his cellphone. Heās a minor and if heās on you or your husbands cell account itās legal. Iād be doing all these things.
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I learned the harder I to keep my son away from his gf the worse he got an her parents didnāt seem to care about her sneaky side they laughed in my face so i bought him condoms took her got her on the pill at the health dept an i set limits for him but i didnāt take his electronics cuz it would made things crazy set some boundaries with them let them both know where you stand they were high school sweethearts an now married an 1 child been going on 11 yrs now they are a strong team an have accomplished many goals they set an both work very hard for what they want
Be calm talk again set boundaries an reinforce them also
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Well, you had him as a teen. Figure out what went wrong with you and correct it for him. 
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Id Invite her & her parents over to discuss protection & birth control. More controlling is just going to make him more sneaky IMO
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Get cameras and alarms. Do not use a password or code he can guess.
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Alarms on doors and windows, might help
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Sounds like youāre making excuses for his behavior with your past behavior. Youāre right, heās making dumb decisions and youāre allowing it because you donāt seem to want to be super strict because āit wonāt helpā. By the time you are ready to be strict, it might be too late. My daughter tried leaving, I packed her stuff in a trash bag and drove her to the police station myself. They gave her advice and even offered to show her pictures of homeless teens that are now under state living or homeless. (they didnāt)
It helped. They helped me set her straight.
Good luck!
Alarms on doors and windows that chime when one opens or alerts your phone. Also, make him watch the baby shark song 400x on repeat 14 hours a day and then wake him up every two hours in the middle of the night to let him know what parenthood will be like if he gets his gf pregnant.
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He thinks hes grown then kick his ass out!! Tell him pak his shit and leave. U wana act grown then there is the door!! Its calld tough love!! U need to harden up on him, coz believe me id b telln my kids the same if they aint going to respect me, their father or the rules of our home!! U wana b grown then there is the door. Goodbye
I have a 17yo who was starting to test his limits when he turned 16 and got his license and car especially. 1st thing is I made him put the life 360 app on his phone so that I always know where he is, it also monitors the speed theyāre driving and if a vehicle accident is detected. He didnāt like that at all, so he would turn it off the consequence was I took his car away for a week and he REALLY didnāt like that. So now he always leaves it on and weāre both happy. He smokes marijuana but Iām totally fine with that as long as heās responsible about it, ie: smokes at home. Heās tried alcohol but itās not really his thing (thank God his bio dad was an alcoholic & addict) he has no desire for harder drugs 
Heās worked the same job for almost 2 years and now that heāll be 18 in a few months, heās learned that he can come to me for literally anything and momās not gonna kill him lol. I was also a very rebellious teen & honestly I did way more than my son has done. I was still a damn good kid with a good moral compass and Iām completely thankful my dad raised me to be able to explore life by trying alcohol & pot at home where I was safe. Iāve carried that over with my children as I know 100% teens are gonna try things and push limits and I would rather them do that at home where I can be sure theyāre safe than have them out running the roads with God knows who going God knows where and only a group of other rebellious teens with him. We now have a very loving and trusting relationship and heās an AMAZING kiddo who works hard at pursuing his goals
I was a rebellious child too - fell pregnant at 15 had my son at 16ā¦ Look to put it blunt there is no easy, right or wrong way. The more you try keep him home. The more hell rebel and sneak out. Maybe have a chat with him and say look - I know your doing all these things - maybe just maybe concider doing them at home - where you know he is safe. I think heās old enough now that his litrle girlfriend should be aloud to stay over - all with responsibility from all parties - yours hers and his even her mums too, chat to her mum about the choices of birth control so there isnāt anymore scares. Unfortunately he is seeing the world through coloured glasses. He doesnāt know the real risks and dangers, but being the age he is he thinks he knows it all. All I can say, is just support him - donāt push him away or tell him its not allowed in your house, itās time you both compromised. Because he will just find somewhere else to go to do it all.
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This is tricky! Not one solution works for everyone. My mom grounded me, nailed my bedroom window shut etc. Some kids are just motivated. Maybe give him more freedom. Tell him he can go out late but you need to know where he is and that he is being safe. Wish you the best
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My son did this a few times.
The last time, I called the police and the officer had me call him when my son returned home.
The officer came back over and told my son that if he does this again, it wonāt be up to me, the officer would take him to juvenile hall for the night.
It worked. The officer was pretty hard on him about it. He needed to hear it though.
Good luck!!
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Most high schools have those robot babies for family living and early childhood education class. Maybe contact the school about borrowing one for a few days
I have indoor cameras because I trust no one and lif360 on my 17 year Olds phone so I can GPS him if he were to sneak out
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I didnāt even read the whole postā¦he did that because he felt he can get away with it. Why would he think he can get away with it?
Hes 14, clearly youāre not doing your job. Discipline starts early. Too late now
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14, having sex and doing drugsā¦ shoot
If you take his phone more rebellious. Put a alarm system on all doors and windows. He doesnāt get a password. Tell that hussy he messin with donāt get pregnant to trap your son. It happen to me and she turned out to be the worst thing he ever meet. He became rude evil and nasty. And still is . She corrupted my son she was a villan.
Nail his window closed and Lock him IN at night ā¦ and place a motion camera in several places around outside his room. and make sure he does NOT have his phone or internet after bedtime. ā¦ Tough LOVE is required or you are going to loose him to drugs and and an unwanted pregnancy. .
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Why havenāt you spoken with her mother yet 
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Dang! My momma beat me once and I didnāt try it again. Yall gluttons for punishment!
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Alarms so he canāt sneak out . Life 360 on his phone will tell you if he leaves the house .
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Strict parents produce rebellious kids.
My mom and dad was strict and I always snuck out. Fast forward 10 years, I canāt live without my mother and father. The fact that they never gave up on me even though I gave up on them is an unconditional love no one will give you but your parents.
I was pregnant at 15. So I know exactly where your coming from. My parents disapproved, and me ending up pregnant was a result of me sneaking out constantly. My parents never judged me, they stuck by me even though they didnāt approve.
Their grandson means the world to them despite me making them grandparents at 36 and 39
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Whoop that ass!!! And stay up one night follow him and embarrass the hell out of him when you get to his destination.
Which state are you in that legalises marijuana 
Asking for a friend
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Honestly I have always felt the reason why so many kids tend to keep going on that kind of track is because they have no idea where a life style like that leaves them and by the time they do itās to late. Personally I always feel like a up in face view of possibilities is the way to go. But I will say before hand at no point should you put anyone down for life decisions, more understand life is different for alot of people and alot of time not everyone has a caring home base let alone a home. Volunteer with the community with him you worry about teen pregnancy volunteer at a place that helps those parents i.e. in my town we have churches that has set up places where parents can get child necessities for free. Worried about drugs volunteer at a drug prevention program. The list goes on but the point is to talk, listen, and teach and to understand that as a parent you do what you can with what you got.
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Youāre saying heās not doing any hard drugs, but thatās now. This is how it starts. Weed maybe legal but itās still illegal for him, heās under 18. I remember sneaking out too. I wasnāt a bad kid but honestly I had no business being out past 12. There was nothing āgoodā past 12. Whatās open after 12? Bars, gas stations, and drugs. Get it under control before heās out of control.
I would tell him if he sneaks out again and makes you a grandma or grandparent before he wants to be tell him he will have to get a job he would have to pay child support if he ends up getting this girl pregnant and it is not your responsibility to take care of him and this girl once they become pregnant he will have to find a job and that would be hard because then heād have to work and go to school on top of it and then I would make him start paying some of the bills
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Be āthatā parent. Call his gfs parents. Lolol.
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Put up cameras. We got some good ones on Amazon, blink cameras that connect to Alexa and notify our phones and devices when motion is detected. If he knows you will be alerted when he tries to leave maybe it will discourage him!
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Manuel laborā¦I mean back breaking labor. Building fence, chopping wood, ect. From daylight to dark. It does take supervision and your time but worked like a charm on everyone of my kids.
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My parents made my brother get a job and pay for an alarm for our house when we were young lol I never got caught
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Camera on the doors. Ring door bells will go off with motion too.
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Take everything away from him. Then, make him do all the manual labor you can find for him to earn it back. But this is why we spank them when they are young.
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Show him diseases of the you know what area and tell him heāll catch them if he doesnāt keep his you know what zipped up
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Educate him the best you can and let him make dumb decisions. Teach him about contraception, get him to discuss birth control with his girlfriend (but also let him know that the ultimate decision on that front is hers), talk about the dangers of teenage cannabis use and the dangers of drugs he is not using. As the parent of a teenager, your job is transitioning from protecting your child to teaching them how to be an adult. You canāt protect him from the world forever and he needs to make some of these decisions in order to learn from his mistakes.
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Sounds like youāre making a lot of excuses for him. Heās only up to trouble and you need to enforce tough love.
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Kids will always push boundaries to see what they can get away with so you have to be consistent. I would get an alarm installed and so if he tries to sneak out at night it will go off and wake the whole house up, also they have apps for the phone so you can track his location even if he turns the setting off.
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Talk to the parents of the girl, and send him to a counselor to discuss why heās sneaking out. Sessions alone, sessions with you where you get to express your concerns, and ideally sessions with the girlfriend and maybe also her parents.
Treat it like a serious issue and put the cards on the table, so to speak. They obviously are having a āseriousā relationship but need help with boundaries.
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Speak to the girl, her parents and your son all together and also get one of those baby dolls that cries, poops wets etc day and night demanding attention so they both have to look after it. That may bring them to their senses and at least use protection!
-lots of communication
-communicate with girlfriend and her parents
-House alarm
-Shares his location from his phone from now on. If not take away his phone.
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Install an alarm. You can even try secretly installing one of those janky ones, that just squeal, when the window opensā¦
Install the smart camera systems, that sends an alert to your phone, any time there is motion detected or a door/window is opened.
Talk to the girlfriendās motherāmake sure sheās aware of the āsneaking outā, as well.
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Sending you a virtual hug.
First off no matter what you do he or rather they will find a wayā¦only if you sent him to a all male boarding school would you stop themā¦
Get the kid some condomsā¦better than him becoming a parent ā¦
Then get them a baby to look after .even one of those dolls that are like real babies that continue to cry till you feed or change all day and nightā¦
My niece had to do that for schoolā¦teaches them that fun and games turn into real life fastā¦
Show him what a kid cost per month per year even just to start off how much stuff you need to getā¦
Put in a door and window alarm .
Lock the windows and pad lock the doors nail the windows shut
I use to sneak out so much my parents put an alarm on the house. Lol
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Yes show them what a baby cost . Dr hospital milk diapers etcā¦ it can be over $500 a month easy. , then neither is old enough to even work!!
Talk to your local police dept about having a talk with him about sneaking out. Most states there is a law for minors being out after a certain time and let him know he could get in serious trouble. Not to mention traffickers are a serious thing these days. You should also consider having his girlfriend over for dinner and movie nights or date nights just them (slightly supervised so nothing bad happens)
My daughter is only 7 so Idk what youāre going thru exactly but we have these sensors on all the windows and doors of the house that sound if theyāre opened. We also have a security system that alerts on our phones when it is armed or disarmed. Itās thru the RING company. That may be an option to stop him from sneaking out.
Heās going to make stupid decisions BUT being sexually active at his age is INSANE. If that was me at his age my parents would have shut it down real quick. I would have had NO freedoms, no phone internet friends TV nothing. Parents these days want to be their childās friend. Youāre NOT his friend. Youāre his parent, his protector so you need to put some fear into him. Stop letting him have freedoms and all just cuz heās āa good kidā.
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Get one of those educational babies. The ones that cry when they are hungry, need to be changed or just want to be held, burped all that. The chip in the baby records everything and thereās a final score in the end. But the thing cries at every 2-3 hour feeding it needs. All through the night.
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The more things change the more they remain the same. Nothing new under the sun. Tell him he doesnāt have to sneak out of the house and that if he gets a full time job, pays rent buys his own food and clothes he can go and come as he pleases but, until then he is to abide by the rules of the house.
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Get an alarm on the house and make him pay for it with his allowance
If you know someone with a small child borrow said child and have him take care of the child for a day or 2 . Making him totally responsible for the child tell him its parent training !
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A trip to Juvenile court or some law enforcement agencies offer programs like scared straight. Thse are highly effective in opening teen eyes. The shock of reality has more potential than anything you could say. Seeing is believing! At that age they believe themselves to be untouchable when in fact they are extremely vulnerable. Check the laws in your state know what you and he may face legally. Cover everything that pertains to your son, his girlfriend, their behavior as minors, the ramifacations of breaking curfew laws, and especially educate yourself and him where he stands if her parents were to have him charged with rape. That would for all intents and purposes ruin his life. He could face prison and be labeled a registered sex offender for the rest of his life!! There are several suggestions:
- You can
put alarms on windows and doors. - Motion sensitive cameras in key positions to alert when he attempts to leave.
- Put a GPS app on his phone. You will have his location.
- When he sneaks out again go wake up her parents and confront them as a united parental force!!
Talk with the girlfriends mom about birth control? Or help the girlfriend get birth control.
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Talk to his gfās parents and his buddyās too. Make sure they realize he is sneaking over to their homes. Talk to your son. Why is he sneaking out? Tell him you are genuinely concerned and want to help him get thru whatever this is. But you have to know he is safe soā¦Put a tracker on his phone and make sure he knows it. Tell him your next move is to take the phone. Maybe that will help.
You can monitor where he is on the smart phone. When my daughter was doing this stuff, I found it was much safer to NOT take the phone away. That way they can call you if something bad happens and like I said, you can track them. I would want to meet the girlfriend and friends so you have an idea who heās with. Try to get their numbers as well. Unfortunately this is risky behavior, and youāre going to have to keep tabs on him as much as possible
Talk to the girlfriends parents. That may help. You arenāt trying to break them up just calm them down.
Alarms on doors and or windows. Taking away all electronics including phone is the best start.
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Do you pay his cell phone bill stop tell him if he wants to act like a man and run the streets then take it on fully tell him get a job tell him to pay rent show him the adult world tell him that if he wants to throw away his youth then start treating him as an adult I bet he wont like it and I would be checking out these friends out what parents of 14 year olds allow them to come over at 2amā¦wonder how old they areā¦like my mom and dad would say if you dont like my rules move onā¦or theres always boot campā¦
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Taking the bedroom door off can work wonders, until he builds your trust back up , he had no door
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