Cactuses under his window , alarms I snuck out at his age to smoke weed my dad told hed rather i smoked at home than somewhere he didnt know after he said that I didnt wanna smoke my first ever alchohol was at home and I was on birth control at 14 (for medical reasons) make him take care of the youngest fall day everyday ask if hes ready for the responsibilities
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Tracker on his phone, alarms on the house and drug tests frequently.
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Let him make mistakes. Trapping him will only make it worse. Of course heās sneaking out, I wouldāve too.
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Hormones raging, but him a box of condoms and both you and your husband have a serious discussion about sex and parenthood, respect for himself and his girlfriend. If need be, become friendly with his girlfriends parents. Do not criticize or belittle him. He is going through one of the toughest times in a young persons life.
At this stage of parenting we become paranoid, filled with guilt about our own wild ways and we try to take control of a kid who thinks he is a know it all āadultā. Open dialog and honesty will help him. Good luck!
This was me! My parents eventually put an alarm system on all doors and windows. I do not recommend this if youāre a heavy sleeper tho, I accidentally set it off one night and they never knew, I just answered the phone when the company called and answered their security questions 
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Get alarm sensors on your doors and windows
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Put a nanny thing on his phone/tracker so you can see everything he is doing or have his phone set so he can only call you or his dad give him condoms an have the sex talk with him because sadly he wonāt stop regardless of what you do ask the girls parents to have the sex talk with her or have her put on bc ground him
Scary him straight mama next time he does it have the cops pick him up and have him sit a night in jailā¦if you know hes doing drugs I would let the cops know when he gets picked up have them test him and give him a ticket then he will have to work to pay it off but try educating him on how drugs are bad and mess up his growing mindā¦I would talk with the gf parents about youāre concerns and tell them about the pregnancy scareā¦maybe they will agree with you on not wanting to be grandparent early in life and will agree on rules of not being alone and no bedroom only in very of other adultsā¦good luck mama I have a three year old son and hoping he wont do this but if he did this is how Iād handle it or if worse comes to worse send them to military school to where he learns life long skills and discipline
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I strongly suggest family and individual counseling ASAP
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Go talk to the girlās parents and let them know what your son and her are up to if they donāt know already
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Show him the story of the girl in West Virginia that snuck out with her friends at 11 at night they took her to the woods and stabbed her to death 
* I donāt why yāall laughing it really happened*
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Opinion coming from a teenager myself- If you go behind his back with apps and try to lock him up he will most likely never trust you and he will push harder and harder to get out. IMO talk to him and donāt destroy your relationship.
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Know anyone with a baby whoās parents wouldnāt mind him watching it for like 10 hours? thatās one way to get him to use condoms. Also maybe contact the girlfriends mother to ask about birth control 
will probably embarrass both of them. -that part Might make them wanna sneak around more cause they want privacy. But the baby sitting thing would make them more aware of the consequence that can happen from what they do. Iām gonna say Donāt take the phone away cause if he sneaks out and you have it how are you gonna contact him? maybe let the girlfriend come over and they spend the night -in the livingroom- where you guys can monitor them to maybe stop the sneaking around? Less likely of them getting in trouble/ticketed for being out past curfew or getting hurt and you know where they are.
Iād personally say to spend a lot of family time together, without suffocating him. Keep channels of communication open and maybe even have him to talk to a counselor every now and then just so that he has an outlet to be honest and open in case heās not comfortable doing so with you. Kids are bound to get in a little trouble sometimes but I know when I was young and rebelling, the thing that always seemed to keep me somewhat level headed was the relationship I had with my friends family who had taken me under their wing and given me a really close sense of family and values.
Mind you, we were still super naughty lol. But it definitely helped us to set limits and boundaries for ourselves where other kids didnāt.
Tough love!!! Itās hard but somtimes necessary.
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Try talking to him like an adult. Have a sit down with him and his girlfriend. Have them spend the day with a baby so they can see the possible consequences of their actions.
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You can petition your juvenile court to step in.
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Just remember ā¦all that you are going throughā¦HE is going through 10 times as muchā¦hormones have no brain.
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Speak to the girlās parents and come up with a plan together. If she is sexually active she needs proper contraception.?Put an alarm on doors and windows so he canāt sneak out ( also keeps burglars out!) Ask a police officer to come round unofficially to talk to him (a lot of places offer this to juveniles), buy hm condoms and take him visit Planned Parenthood to maybe find teenage parents to talk sense into him and his even more clueless girlfriend.
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Get him involved more in community events. Take him to volunteer at the old folks home. Take him to hospitalās to cheer up people. He isnāt busy enough. Show him how he can make a difference in other peopleās lifeās for the better without destroying his.
Worst case is send him off with family for a little while. He might need to get away. He isnāt rebellious as far as aggressive or stealing. Sometimes family needs to step in and help.
Last worst lol case they have youth camps that are like boot camps. Get him in there as soon as you can before he gets too outta hand. A little extreme but definitely worth trying.
As, far as him getting out. Take up phoned at night. Install night lights that light up like day lol. Install cameras, with the motion sensors. We said joking around with my husband we would plant beautiful 
plants outside our kids windows lol
The more you try to keep him from going out the more he will want to and the more he will resent you for trying to keep him in!!!
Come to a compromise with him or you could ruin your relationship with him!!!
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To the people in the comments saying ātrack his phone, install alarms, drug test often, etc.ā Please never become parents. Try sitting down with him and just explaining why what he does is putting himself, and others, in danger. Offer other alternative choices, like possibly getting a medical card(if possible) or if comfortable, discuss consumption in the home. It is much safer for everyone in a familiar, safe environment. Placing severe boundaries will only result in distrustful behavior. As for the gf, try a group discussion involving family members on both sides, or coordinate a collective sit-down.
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Camera. Its your house. He can leave out of the door of his own house anytime he wants.
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Well with the whole pregnancy scare Iād bring him to talk with her parents about some form of birth control. Obviously condoms but maybe she needs to get on some form of birth control as well. I donāt think the pill is affective especially for their age. She might forget, or say she is taking them but not. Iād talk with her parents and see what their opinion is about it all.
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Have em babysit or volunteer at a local place with toddlers!!
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My 14 yr old daughter is going through this stage. 
she has currently been on lock down ALL summer. No phone, never left alone, alarm system installed, no social media only place she can go is church and her stepmoms. Since everything has been taken away itās made a big improvement. I feel for you momma what works for one parent may not for another. Sending you prayers!
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Sit down meals at the table with the entire family is a good start.
Talking about life in general can bring out a lot of subjects
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I personally have went through this my kids are grown now. Tough love now will save heartache later. Take him to Denny Youth Center get an Youth At Risk Petition.
This contract holds him responsible for his actions and there is consequences for behaviors. Its the toughest thing you have to go through but itās our jobs as good patents.
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Talk to his girlfriends parents and ask them what you guys can do together whether itās putting their girl on birth control or get her father to scare the crap out of him. Kids will rebel harder and end up pregnant no matter how much u try to prevent it. Good luck mama
Alarm on doors and windowsā¦ he may still find a way out though. Talk to himā¦ let him know your concerns (without lecturingā¦ just a true heart to heart).
I personally told my son his gf HAD to be on birth control or Id get super strict and attempt to prevent them from seeing each other. Plan parenthood will give a teen birth controlā¦ they donāt need parental consent. I offered to give them a ride to the clinic if needed. I allowed him to have gfs over and go places with me to cut down on the sneaking around. But the sneaking out is an absolute no goā¦ thatās serious punishment! You follow the rules to earn privilegesā¦. Canāt follow the rules, canāt have privileges PERIOD! I would sit him downā¦ talk about the birth controlā¦ talk about her hanging with the familyā¦ and make the rulesand expectations CLEAR (donāt say āoh he already knows)ā¦. No verbalize it and make sure he understands the freedoms heās being offered but the very strict punishments heās going to get if he doesnāt follow the rules. But thenā¦ you have to enforce everything you said!!! So donāt say what you arenāt willing to do. Kids are going to have sex whether we like it or notā¦. I found Having some down to earth understanding got me way further than being unrealisticā¦. But learning to follow the rules is super important!!! And the only way to learn that is following through with consequences. Good luck!!!
Stop caring I literally stopped doing sketchy once my parents stopped caring. Being someone who tracks him, sets alarms, lock him up, putting him in Juvie shouldnāt shouldnāt parents. I lived with my aunt who was super strict for a year. All I did was lie, have a fuck ton of unprotected sex, started smoking cigarettes. You name it. Once I went back to my momās who gave 0 fucks about what I was doing and would simply say " you fuck up, you deal with the consequences" it wasnāt fun anymore. The more I was punished the more shit i would do.
Tell him to use condoms and that she should get some sort of birth control. Provide him with condoms that fit his size (thereās a condom brand chart for what works best for what size and girth). I havenāt really known kids to sneak out unless the parents were already too strict so maybe he feels kind of trapped and also like he cannot come to you. As for the pot, thatās just going to have to run its course. Thereās no preventing that as itās his choice and he has multiple opportunities to access it, besides in the night.
Iām very open and lenient with my 15 yr. old. He has so much freedom, which he hardly utilizes because itās not the novelty it would be with restrictions. We talk about this. Iām a friend and a parent to my kids so they feel like they can come to me with anything and get honest feedback about choices they make. If they want to do something, they will. The best you can do is make sure they do it as safely as possible.
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Locks on windows and outside of his door and give him an effing bottle to piss in.
You sound like such a good mama with a great head on your shoulders and he sounds like a good kid growing into himself. Just keep talking to him, it really works. Tell him how worried you are, cry if you feel like crying, hug him, explain to him how hard it is to care for a baby, physically, emotionally and FOREVER, etc etc. Maybe talk with the girlfriends mom and see what they can do about her getting on BC? There are other means of protection but when I was young there were many, many mistakes and carelessness. Luckily I asked my mom to put me on the pill at 14, if I hadnāt Iād probably have had a baby early on. If heās sneaking out to see his girlfriend, the other parents arenāt helping in preventing that either. Sometimes itās a team thing. Good luck! 
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Add Life 360 app to both your phones. Itās as simple as the first first he turns the app off you take his phone and everything away from him and ground his ass. Love most be tough when your a parent to a wild child. Its practice touch love or let him end up in jail, or dead! Do the right thing and turn this around.
well wowā¦ i went thru this 5/6 yrs ago with my now adult GIRLS! It does suck i had a pregnancy scare with my youngest daughter at 14š They were sneaking out their bedroom window to meet up with their bfs. i had the talk all the dos and donts but they still did as they pleased. we screwed their windows locked, took electronics away, it did very little. one night they left eith some guys and they ended up getting dropped off in the middle of the night in the middle of no where, they thought they were slick going theu the back porch door which was next to the bathroom i was going pee and they both came in! They stopped after that night but honestly idk what works i failed on that deoy and im forever grateful that they both ended up safe and are adults bow and they regret their choices
I got kicked out for doing this kind of thing. I snuck out coz I wasnāt allowed to see him as much as I would have liked. Talk to him. Find a compromise where you BOTH are happy. My mother turned my room into a sewing room. I could never come home. Was full of hate and despair. Please keep talking to your boy. Keep hugging him.
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it may seem drastic, however can be effective: have someone you trust, but the child may not no really well, approach and even either scare or take the child (not for very long), the child will begin to understand better. in āthe teachings of don juanā, though not a book on how to bring up children, such recommendations are taught, including, very misbehaved children, approached by a āstrangerā can be more helpful then the parent/family attempting to teach the child.
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Sneak out with him 
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As I was a teen parent myself not at 15 but still a teen I can tell him itās not time. He will lose out on everything a kid is supposed to do/enjoy. No sports no friends no free time. He will have to get a job to support baby himself and the gf. He doesnāt drive so how would he make drs appts. Get a place big enough to raise a baby. I wish I would have waited.
I feel that he wants some freedom maybe allow him during the week some time out but discuss time restrictions not sure if you have a curfew but here in vegas they are strict on it. The main important thing that I didnāt get was open communication. You sound like a great mother keep up and if you need someone to talk to him that went through everything pm me
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All I can say is the more you pull that leash tighter the more he will rebel. Try and make sure he stays protected. Try and show him the difficulties to being a young parent. Talk to the girls mother, let her know whatās going on. Try and work together with eachother.
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My Dad found out that I had been sneaking out my window. I think he knew he couldnāt really do much to stop meā¦so he told me that if I was going to leave in the middle of the night that I should use the front door and not my bedroom window.
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Talk to the girl and her parentās.
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It sounds like youāve already talked to him about using protection. I know a lot of people may disagree with me here but Iād suggest buying him condoms so you know he has access to them.
As far as the sneaking out thing, thereās a lot of things that could happen to him if heās out running the streets in the middle of the night. I snuck out a lot when I was a teenager and my best friend and I were usually out drinking and doing stupid shit. Iād definitely continue with the punishment, grounding him and taking away his phone and any other electronics that have internet access so heās unable to still contact his friends and make arrangements to sneak out and meet up with them. Continue checking on him throughout the night and be sure youāre doing it at random times, not the same time every night. You could try sensors on the windows. Iād also suggest a tracking app on his phone, if he doesnāt already have one. My husband, my 12 yr old daughter and I all have āFind Myā on our iPhones so we can track our phones if lost. I also like that I can see where my daughters at if sheās out riding bikes with her friends or whatever. Obviously thereās ways around sensors and tracking apps but it generally takes a little while for them to catch on and figure it out. I wish you the best of luck. I know itās difficult when theyāre in their teens and hit that rebellious stage.
Keep. The. Conversations. Going. You. Will. Be. Ok
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Get a camera system, thatās what I did, and it stopped
First off, youāre a great mom! I donāt have teenagers yet but from going to parenting classes and doing so much research honestly just sit down and talk to him. Keep an open door policy and make sure he knows he can come to you without you being upset but tell him their are always consequences to every action he takes, good and bad. Let it all out there and tell him how you feel. Shoot buy him some condoms because he obviously is going to have sex regardless. Just make sure you educate him even if you think he knows or even if you had the sex talk before. Wonāt hurt to repeat it. Hang in there momma 
my mom took me to a morgue when i was 16ā¦ i didnt sneak out tho i just made bad choicesā¦ that is not a place a teen or anyone wants to go.
At 14 wowā¦ looks like history is going to repeat itself
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The best thing to do would be to educate on birth control.
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Donāt they make those realistic babies that cry 24 hours and stuff? That would probably deter any teenager from wanting to have sex.
Buy him a huge box of condoms, talk to him about his girlfriend being on birth control, and let him smoke weed in his backyard. Heās just going to do it even more if you try to stop him. And instead of him sneaking out, tell him youād rather have her sneak in. At least youāll know theyāre safe at your house.
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Make it harder for him to do it, put alarm system on your house.
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To me it sounds like he is wanting to grow into a man and is figuring himself out in the next phase, so I think you can take the approach of helping him become a man. Tell him that you understand that he wants freedom and the choice to decide how he wants to live and then give him that, but with great freedom also comes with responsibilities.
So if he wants to go out at night and not respect the rules it time he start packing up and getting onto his own home (or paying your rent at market price). Give him a timeline and do NOT let his gfs parents take him in. Heās needing to learn to be a man.
Heās going to realize he cannot afford to move out on his own and will need to stay, or he will actually grow up quickly. At that point, you have the talk about trust and how it works both ways.
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My friend got caught sneaking out and had to sleep in her parents room on the floor all summer
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You may need to talk to the girls parents too. Warm your son this is an option. That might help. You can try doing something like a Ring motion detector for your doors also
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Contact her parents. They are making adult decisions, and she should be on birth control. Get a silent alarm on the windows. Why is he smoking? Is he experimenting or is he overly anxious? Iād make an appointment with his pediatrician, and Iād install a tracker or take his cell phone completely.
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Always keep that line of communication open, and keep him busy with things like a job, volunteering, etc.
Home security works wonders, too.
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Give him certain days to go out and a curfew. He can go do the thing he wants if he does the things you want first. Dont shut it down just control what you can.
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I canāt believe how many people think itās okay to let a boyfriend/girlfriend stay over in the house at 14!!!
My oldest will be 20 in two months and no thank you. You can have sleep overs when you get a hotel room or move outā¦.
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Buy him condoms and explain to him it is his job to make sure he doesnāt become a father at an early age. The only person he can depend on for the protection is him. Then take him to juice or jail and have him tour them. Can make a big difference in his life. Scare him straight.
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I know its a bit much, but im just gonna say, my uncle raised 3 kids and he had this security system in his house, any window or door in the house opened and a voice would come through the house and tell you what window or door and what floor of the house it was on. Not one of his children snuck out very loving household he never put a hand on his kids i was jealous of my cousins cause my mom whooped my ass if i looked at her wrong haha
Put an alarm system in on windows and doors, that finally kept my sister in.
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My kids were never allowed to go to anyoneās house or with anyone until I personally went to their home and met the parentsā¦then you know where they liveā¦not just an address that the child could pull from thin airā¦you have a physical addressā¦in case you need to send the copsā¦an adult phone numberā¦so you can check on where your child REALLY isā¦and if I wake up and you arenāt thereā¦the cops will be at all your friends homes until you are foundā¦
I was a terrible childā¦I wasnāt going to deal with 3 of meā¦
I would DEFINITELY talk to the girls parents and let them know heās sneaking out, and that they might want to get proactive with her birth control, for sure.
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Let him smoke at homeš¤·š»āāļømy parents did and it kept us home rather than out smoking with others
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Idk but have you ever considered bending him over your knee and busting his damn ass? If my mom caught me sneaking out and having sex at 14 I would be wishing I had never. Idk about these parents nowadays not making their kids respect them.
Download LIFE 360 & make it to where youāre the main person! This shows you where heās at at all times, when he arrived, if he left home or not, Ect.
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Sit down and talk to him 
maybe offer for his gf to come stay at yours or vice versa, if theyāre having sex then there isnāt anything you can do but ensuring theyāre safe and also in a safe place rather then sneaking out and possibly getting into trouble, find out what it is he thinks he canāt do during the day or why he thinks he needs to sneak out and go from there, communicate!
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Sit down with WITH him and show him the cost of rent, diapers, baby food, formula, a vehicle, his and her food, clothing, invite her to join you, be prepared, have actual sales ads . . In hand!
Best of luck!
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Have him watch a movie about abortion and how his child could be aborted without his consent.
Firstā¦buy him condoms and sit him and his girlfriend down and have a talk with them. Iād even try to arrange a meeting with them and both sets of parents. As far as keeping him in at nightā¦lock the door behind him and tell him to bunk down in the garage or tent in the backyard for the rest of the night. All you can do is raise them the best you know how and hope they take your advice. If youāre too strict youāll just send them into hiding and if not strict enough theyāll run the streets so youāre pretty much stuck and can only hope he will make the right decisions. Keep the lines of communication open what ever you do. Drugs of any type for a minor in my house would be a no-no period.
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Condoms, heart to heart talk. Talk about the trouble he could get in with weed if caught by the wrong people.
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Not much you can do 
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I was very fortunate as my kids hung around with kids from the neighborhood and parents would let you know if your LITTLE ANGEL was up to NO good We had a good neighbor buddy system No snitching on small things just things that could hurt them or get them into big trouble
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Put a bell on the doors!
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Under 18 I sent cops after him ā¦that cured that
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Hide your car keys and put up cameras and take him to an NA meeting so he can hear about other peopleās stories. Reward him for being good like example: appropriate time with girlfriend
I was raised where if we wanted to act like an adult, we were treated as such.
Make him get a job. Make him pay for his phone, car, rent, etc. When he gets his first check, take him to the store and show him how expensive it is to have a baby. Daycare too. His check would be gone.
Explain to him the dangers of leaving at night without telling you. Boys get kidnapped, raped and killed too. Some of the most famous serial killers targeted boys.
Let him know that you are NOT going to raise another baby. If he wants to have sex and act stupid, he can own up to result.
Go get one of those dolls they have at the schools, they are just like babies, and make him take care of it for a week or so, totally on his own. That should make him think about a pregnancyā¦
First of all he is a 14 year old little boy. To keep him in your house make him sleep in your room. Remember that just because he thinks heās grown up enough to make these decisions he is in no way mature enough to understand the consequences to these decisions. If you donāt want him sleeping in your mom call the cops and send them after him. Teach him a lesson. Show him you mean business. Itās tough, I know I get it. But just remember heās still a little boy.
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I dont have an answer but I just want to say youāre a good mum for noticing and actually wanting to do something before itās to late
Have a blessed and beautiful day
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Blink security cameras by the doors.
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The tighter the leash, the more he will rebel.
He is 14, if he wants to sneak out, he will find a way no matter what.
Speak with the his Girlfriends parents, see if you guys can come to some arrangement about them spending time together.
I would personally rather them be at my home or their home, youād have more control & knowledge on what was happening, rather then them being in a park etc late at night.
Speak to your Son, donāt yell or lose your temper, that will only push him further away. When right now, he needs your guidance. Donāt shut down the communication or lose his trust.
If they are already having sex, thats not going to stop now.
I found as a teenager, when things stopped becoming rebellious & turned into something I was āallowed to doā (within reason) it stopped being something super fun & most times chose to do the right thing.
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My parents didnāt do this for me but because of the area we lived in but anytime anyone opens the door to go in/out thereās a loud bee and you hear āfront door opened!ā Itās loud. Very loud and gets the dogs going.
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Last year was very rough with my at the time 11 year old, it got so bad I started calling boarding schools and letting her see all the info written down and that I was absolutely serious hit her deep. Things have been great since, still that preteen attitude but thatās to be expected everything else has stopped
Do you have a friend that will let you borrow their baby for 24hrs?
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Do alarm, security system so blaring alarms go off when a door or window is openedā¦and make him babysit to pay for itā:slightly_smiling_face:
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Contact his girlfriendās parents and explain to them what is going on.
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Have an alarm system put in your house. Make sure the windows & all doors have sensors. Get the kind that tells you when the windows or doors are opened.
Have a long talk with him about responsibility & honesty. Tell him that anything could happen while heās running around all night. Explain that it scares you when you go to his room & heās not there. Make a reasonable curfew for him & stick to it!
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Is what you do is call the damn police tell them youāre 14 year old is out doing Gosh knows what.
Youāve had a pregnancy scare and husband has tried everything too. Theyāll bring him home the first two times then after that they let him learn a lesson.
Sometimes kids donāt except parents to go insane for there protection. Maybe proving him wrong is best in youāre situation.
I was that teen it got me nowhere but trouble not jail just no weekend fun or family lake trips.
Alarms on doors and windows, tracking on his phone when there is reason, like after curfew. Make a contract listing rules and consequences. Both parents and child sign it. Just like laws you follow and break. Talk about sex , tell him where he can go to get checked for things and talk to doctor with parents, also where she can go . Talk with her parents if you can . If not I would talk with her , she might need someone to tell her.
Above all remember what you or others kids did at this age , there is a lot worse than being a grandparents or dad at and early age.
I have a security system. You can get cheap sensors on Amazon etc for windows and doors. If they are opened they will go off and notify you. Plus we have cameras that also notify us with movement. I donāt have people sneaking out but itās just for the safety of us and our house
my mom used to call the cops on me all the time, honestly nothing worked she would take my shoes and I would still leave. I got pregnant at 16, you need to find out who her parents are and get her on some type of birth control
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Get a motion light and put it outside where he sneaks out lol maybe add motion dection to it too where it will pop up on your phone if it senses motion
You can download a app on your phone that will tell you were he is so not tell him and punishment needs to be harsh to start you need to find out what is going on also go to drug store pies test him now you guys are going to have a fight stick with it and get rid of freinds bad news they may act nice to your face best way is get in their business cause issues they will drop him
My sister ran away at 14 to go live downtown (she wrote a letter about how she was old enough now to know how the world works). She was gone for 28 hours. My parents decided that rather than grounding her (the usual punishment), they had her do 28 hours of community service. At first they were going to make it all at the homeless shelter (since she wanted to run away and live on the street), but throughout the summer (took her weeks to work off the hours) they let her volunteer anywhere. She ended up volunteering for the animal shelter and now in her thirties sheās running a vet clinic.
Iām not saying itās the exact same situation as your son, but I really think my parents nailed it with this one. Thinking about the pregnancy scare that you mentioned, maybe thereās an opportunity there? Open his eyes, give back to the community?
Edited for typos
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Agree talk to her parents and let them know whatās going on. And get security system so he canāt sneak out without waking you.
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Download the app, life 360, its free and it tracks his phone. Our whole family uses it.
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