Be glad that she loves your children too. I call my step mom mom & my step dad dad. I love all of my parents. Don’t be petty & make you children feel bad for loving her too. Their love for her does not make their love for you any less
3 Likes
Who cares what they call her. They know your mom. Its not like they are replacing you. Im a foster parent lots of the kids call me mom. For me its a title. Like teacher. They know who MOM is. Im mom. She is MOM. you fuss about this and it make you seem small and petty.
Get over it. You are blessed to have another person to love your children. If she hated your kids you would complain.
2 Likes
Well she IS their stepmom. She DOES help take care of them. Be happy that she loves and cares enough about them like she does.
4 Likes
Explain to the she is step mom a you are their real mom God gave you to me and Dad but he let step visit
No need to be heart broken the kids know
The more people that love those kids the better. I even call friend’s moms mom. There are much bigger issues than that for you to worry about.
2 Likes
Do they “make” them or do they just call her that? I mean I call my step dad “dad” and my step mom “mom” I also call a couple of my friends’ parents “mom” too. No offense, but I think you might be making something out of nothing right now.
3 Likes
Not everything is about you mom. What’s best for your kids is happening. Don’t be jealous, be grateful.
5 Likes
At this point it’s not about what makes you feel good. It’s about how well your children are doing…
1 Like
Feel proud that their father married someone they can look up to. Feel proud that she parents them, as she should, she married a man with children.
All this “they are my kids, I’m their only mom” they know that. But clearly she has helped raise them…
2 Likes
I would be heart broken I get where you are coming from 
it’s not right you only get one mum:sunflower:
2 Likes
You should be glad and stop being bitter that a woman is willing to care for your children like that. Stop being so bitter and realize she’s a blessing
2 Likes
I’m so sorry that this is happening - I can only say this, from the other side. My husband and I split, when I was pregnant with our fourth child. I met an amazing man, and we are now engaged and we all live together. One of my daughters, calls him daddy. A lot. Sometimes, my other two do - however not as often. I’ve never encouraged them to call him that, and neither has he - it’s just something that’s happened over time. But they don’t stop calling their dad, dad.
The thing that’s wrong here, is that they’re telling your children to call her “mom”
Talk to your kids, ask them how they feel about it. I can only imagine how you feel, and how heartbreaking it must be xx
1 Like
Oh yikes. Some of the comments in here. I think we are forgetting the biggest factor here…
The children.
How do THEY feel? Of course you’re their biological mother and always will be, but don’t let your jealousy guide you to driving a wedge in your family. Do the kids not like it? That’s when I’d probably be upset, if they call her mom willingly then embrace the fact that she’s loving them the same way you do, because you are the prime example of what they know “mom” to be.
If the kids are against it, then maybe you need to find a counselor for your children to help them navigate feelings from an unbiased perspective.
From this angle though, you just sound jealous.
3 Likes
Maybe suggest Mom ‘her name’ ? instead of ‘Mom’ Never happened to me my ex wasn’t with anyone for long and never remarried.
My step children called me mom and lied to their mom that I forced them when I didn’t. Because they didn’t want to hurt her feelings because they knew she would be mad for calling me mom. I knew it upset her after she brought it up and asked them to stop but they told their counselor they wanted to call me mom anyway…so sometimes the kids can read how you feel based off your actions or things you say. My stepson is now 18 and he told me he lied to his mom because she made it a point to let them know she didn’t want them calling me mom. So as much as is hurts if she’s a great step mom to them it’s what makes them happy.
3 Likes
No children ever had too many people love them, just teach them its okay to love people other than just you…your vibe defines your tribe…
3 Likes
I have an only child with an only child of her own, no other grandparents than myself …be happy your children have others to love them.
1 Like
You should be so lucky they have a step mom that takes care of them. Instead of telling them you’re their only mom you should respect her for her role as step mom. You shouldn’t tell their children they can’t call her mom if he tells them they should. It isn’t fair to put them in the middle and make them feel bad. Be the best mom you can be when you are with them and love them. Speaking positively about their dad and step mom is what they will remember and love you for.
8 Likes
I’m the WICKED STEP MOM of 3 I never forced or even asked my bonus kids to call me mom nor did my husband I fact my son called me MY-MY for his first year because that’s what his brother and sister called me they started calling me mom on their own and I just feel like … does it really matter what they call her if she treats them well and respects you you should be so happy that your children have someone else in their lives to love and protect them someone they can go to for comfort and advice I don’t understand why you would be against someone loving your children
1 Like
My stepdaughters 5 and 7 at the time, (6 years ago) insisted on calling me mom. I had no kids of my own at that point, so I felt a little uncomfortable. Once I married their dad, they didn’t ask anymore, they told me they would call me mom.
Their mother raised hell, (not as much as you) but she finally understood that there was nothing healthy she could say or do to stop it.
I’m a good woman and the kids can see it.
You sound like you are jealous. If it bothers you so much that your husband’s new wife is a stay home mom and you are not, give him full custody and you pay him child support. You can work less and see your kids more.
The first step to worry less is to let go. You need to get over your ex husband. He sounds like he moved on long time ago.
I have a 12 year old daughter. Her father and I have been divorced for over 10 years. She calls me and her stepmother mom and my husband And her father dad. What is wrong with having more people to love them? They have two loving moms why is that bad?
2 Likes
Be grateful another person loves and cares for your children. This is an ego issue, and you’ll just need to get over it.
5 Likes
Be thankful they have so much love from everyone not many kids these don’t even have one parent that cares so to have a loving mother, dad and step-mom is a true blessing. Talk to your kids and see how they feel about calling her mom but always remember that no matter what they do know you are there true one and only mom.
5 Likes
Not their mom period.
You give them birth, don’t let them play you, you know your mom…soooo?
1 Like
When i got divorced, i let my ex know from day one, im their mom dont ever ask anyone else to call them mom, he married 3 more times, It never happened he knew better…
1 Like
Selfish !! As someone who took in additional children and I am raising them after I raised mine In. All cases there has been 2 moms be thankful they have someone else that cares enough to be there for them
1 Like
Why would you have a problem with her living your children and taking care of them? Would you rather they be neglected and have her treat them bad? I totally understand that it must hurt to hear them call her mom, but from my perspective, I don’t see anything wrong with this picture.
1 Like
It takes a village to raise a child. I think you should thank her for accepting your kids. That’s wonderful. You are blessed.
3 Likes
I feel it’s up to the kids not the parents , you dont own your kids , you are raising them , as long as she is a good person to them the kids should be comfortable to call the new spouse whatever they want .that does not mean they are replacing you .so get that thought out of your head
1 Like
You sound like a bitter little child. Time to grow up for the sake of your kids.
5 Likes
I understand your frustrations but I have to agree with everyone on this post with divorce comes this type of situation- be happy and grateful she treats your kids well and raises them while you both work. You’re still their mother and they’ll love you no matter what.
3 Likes
Not appropriate at all. You are there mother and the only one that should be called mum. It’s an unnecessary insulting and rude that your ex husband has allowed this. I’d be fumming
2 Likes
Sounds like the only “problem” is your insecurity.
I bet if you weren’t making a big deal about it, it might pass.
Maybe try co-parenting and stop trying to control what happens in someone else’s house.
Oh, and get some counseling.
2 Likes
Who cares? If my son wants to call his step mom “mom” he can. I know Im his mother and he knows Im his mother…if he feels comfortable calling someone else who is a mother figure to him mom then I’m secure enough to accept that. It’s not about you.
5 Likes
Honestly you should be thankful your kids are comfortable enough with her to call her mom… if I couldn’t be with my baby at all times I’d want to know someone is taking care of them the way I would be when I can’t be there… Instead of making this an issue, thank the step mom for stepping up for your kids.
Other stuff aside it is respect from step mom to not be called mom I threw a fit the my girls called someone else mom and they put in the order the schools read not to call anyone else mom or dad! Second one I just set her step mom straight as she was a teen when it happened
You called a social worker because they called their stepmom mom? And so west if shes a stay a home wife/mom. What’s wrong with that? He could support her. Stop being so petty.
5 Likes
You’re incorrect when you say the only mom they have is you. It is incredibly selfish. Learn to maturely raise your children.
7 Likes
You are feeling guilty and jealous because you aren’t there as much for your children as she is able to be, that is a problem with in yourself, that is not her problem. As a mother, you should be grateful that your ex husband married someone who loves your children like her own. Ask your children if they mind calling her mom, if they want to call her mom then let them, but if they don’t like it then you need to say something to your ex-husband. But do not let your own guilt and insecurities get in the way of your children having two happy homes.
2 Likes
How is it selfish to be upset that children she carried and birth call someone else mom?? No one has children with the thought that they will have to share the title/role of mom with another woman! It is ok for that to make this MOTHER feel sad…yes its great that the new wife loves them but she doesn’t have to be called mom she can have another term of endearment and show respect to the person WHO GAVE THEM LIFE…
11 Likes
I Have To Stepchildren And I Love Them So Much. They call me Mommy Ana, they’re mom never had an issue with them calling me mom…The more people love your children the better. But I will say this, it should come from the children to call the stepparent like that not from the adults.
1 Like
They can’t be made to call her mom. They choose to.
I’m a divorced mother to a 13 year old and she calls me momma Kim and her step mother momma louise and I’m okay with it she understands that she has two mothers that love her as well as her dad and step dad along with her 4 siblings who they all get along and is a tight nit group from ages 21to the youngest of 18 months don’t make a mountain out of an ant hill your child(ren) loves just as much as much for it even if you don’t get along just make sure that they are loved
2 Likes
It must be very hard but plz ne very thankful she loves them and cares for them. Better than her beating them and harming them. I would only wish my 6 kids could be loved by someone as much as I love them. Maybe look into switching jobs and hrs so your home more. Work when they are in school or when they are not with you. If they are with you 1 wk and him 1 wk do 12s idk good luck mama
There is nothing wrong here. You’re meddling, calling a social worker, and obsessing over their life is the problem here. Water your own grass, and do the best you can for your children in your household. You can not control what happens in their other home. You’re creating more problems and heartbreak for yourself and your children. Focus on your home, and your healing.
It’s not easy, but you need to accept it and make peace with it . You are angry and as everyone says ,bitter . Jealously is a terrible thing. The sooner you make peace with the situation the better for yourself. Good luck
1 Like
I understand if you are hurt by this. I am a step mom myself and I raise my step daughter full time. I used to love it when she would call me mom because I am the one raising her and she only sees her mom a few weeks a year. My step dad adopted and raised me my whole life and I call him dad. Biology doesn’t make you parent. It’s a verb; however, I finally had a kid of my own and now I see from a bio moms point of view and that would be really hard!! I’m not arguing with you I’m just trying to give you a step moms perspective. I disagree that they are making them call her mom… maybe the step mom was raised to believe that labels and names meant a lot and it is a form of respect to call someone mom or dad if they are the ones putting in all the work? Idk but bottom line, at the end of the day they know you are their mom and it seems like they have a great bonus mom. Being a step parent is hard and it can be a very confusing role. Just remember that when you blow t,his out of proportion. I hope you get this resolved
2 Likes
Your the only problem! You’ll only hurt the kids fighting over stupid shit. That’s there “mom” too now. Mine as well let it go
I get it. My emotional reaction is that I don’t think I could handle it if my kids called someone else mom but I’m not sure that’s enough to force them to stop. I have 3 kids from a former marriage. Honestly I WISH my ex could have managed to put my kids first (yes- I did say “my kids”). My ex was abusive and the courts denied him even visitation because he couldn’t abide by the supervision. But if he had been able to be the father my kids deserved, I believe they would have benefited most from having a relationship with anyone who loved them and treated them the way they deserve. My husband has been their dad and we have added 2 more to the bunch. Our oldest 3 kids vacillate between “dad” and his first name. What they call him was never “forced”. He was introduced by his first name and only started calling him “daddy” when THEY asked.
Throughout their lives my 4 girls, in particular, have gotten close with the mother o,f one of their friends and would frequently refer to that mom as “momma-insert name”. I do remember feeling insecure about that at first. These are women the girls shared things they didn’t share with me and in most cases, women they remain close to. I’ve realized that the more competent and caring adults kids have to confide in, the better they are. By cultivating relationships with my kids’ “other mommas” I realized also that they had more positive examples of good, strong women too. At the end of the day- I am ALWAYS the momma they turn to when they REALLY need “mom”. It’s reassuring to know that if anything was to keep me from them, there is someone who would look after them who already knows their hearts.
Longwinded way of saying it’s not always easy but let go of what they are calling their stepmom and try and just try to work together. Don’t teach them to close their hearts to love based on biology.
Lololololol you’re not bitter for 1 and you have the right to be pissed for 2 and I would tell my children to call her “the lady who married my dad” bc them making them call her mom is disrespectful to you, if it was me I would’ve done hit someone
2 Likes
Are the kids ok calling her mom? Or are they being forced to? A child shouldn’t be forced to call someone mom or dad if they arent. Who has primary custody? Honestly I dont care how well she cares for my kids, shes not mom. She shouldn’t be called mom. She can be called by her name. I have a friend who co parents amazingly with her exs wife. They love her daughter and she has no issue sharing her daughter with this woman, but the wife knows and understands shes not mom. She doesnt insist on being called mom and has no issue with the daughter calling her by her name.
Have the kids showed discomfort with calling her mom that would be the only reason to be upset my kids call their step mom mama Maria and my husband daddy Josh but that’s because we are all parent figures to them
I’m sorry I would have a problem with it. Not sure what I would do or how I would handle it myself but it’s totally not appropriate for them to call them mom in my opinion. Did they grow and birth them? No. That’s a BOND only you have with your kids, and you’re still present in their life, therefore YOU are “mom.” They could easily call her something else, but to me, no, “mom” isn’t cool to me and your ex is an asshole for being okay with it.
Sorry not sorry. Also, you’re not bitter. You have every right to feel how you do.
If they’re being forced, that’s not ok. If it’s their choice, swallow your tears and let it go. You’re entitled to your feelings, whatever they are, but so are your children.
Therapy to work on herself? Everyone moves on eventually it just means more people to love your children and that’s a beautiful thing
Idk this is a very hard topic because of the emotional ties to it. I can understand how it can hurt and sting to have another woman being called mom when you carried your babies. But from being in a relationship with a great guy who treats my daughter as his own child and loves her and is like a second father to her. We’ve all decided that it’s ok and if she feels comfortable to call him dad. It’s a blessing to have another person to love your child as you do. They’re not many out there like this and are special so just try to be open to it that someone loves your kids as much as you do.
2 Likes
Uh do they call you mom too? Dont worry I’d be happy knowing they are loved.
My exs niece asked if she could call me momma, I told her yes of course.
It’s a good thing, get over being bitter love.
1 Like
You sound bitter. She’s their other mom. Be happy your kids are loved and cared for by her.
1 Like
If the kids are happy and healthy what does it matter what they call anyone.
If your kids willing call her mom then you should embrace it and be super happy for them that they have an extra person in there lives that love them and would protect your child when your not with them. That being said it hard I get that but your there mom the one they absolutely love with every fiber of there little bodies so you my dear hold that special place that can never be replaced don’t let jealousy break you bond with them over something you simply can’t control
Slap yourself and be grateful for your children having some one as a mother figure for them. More love is better not bad. You need to get a grip, girl.
There is nothing you can do to stop this. Count your blessings. You are their mother. Your children know this. Don’t stress over something you can not change. Clearly this is bothering you and honestly it’s not okay to enforce it even more but that’s their method. Know that you are doing what you can with the resources you have. No one will replace you ever. I don’t think they are right for teaching them this. I would have let nature take it’s course but they trained them and that to me is wrong. I’m glad they have a mother figure but unfortunately you can not change their actions.
You are their only “MOM”… 8 YEARS OLD IS Too young to force it on.them. let it go for now but make sure it is right at school. Don’t let. the.internet at school.
If they are forcing the kids to call her mom, that is not right. If the kids called her that themselves, you need to get over it somehow even though it’s understandably upsetting. Your comment “she tries to parent my children” is selfish, ridiculous, and petty. She cares for them all day long while you and their father are working she she isn’t supposed to parent them? Is she just supposed to let them eat junk food and run amuck all day? When someone marries someone with kids, those kids are now theirs as well. Of course you are their mother, but she is their parent now to. You need to accept that. Would you rather she dislike the kids and act like an evil stepmother?
Be happy that she allows it and seems to love and take care of your children. I wish my oldest son had a loving step mother.
Bite the bullet and become this womans friend. Like it or not your co-parenting with her and your ex.
As s step parent this thinking is part of the reason some co-parenting doesn’t work i have a 5 year old stepdaughter and I’ve been in her life for 2 years now she stays at our house for week she goes to her mother’s house for a week I have been there when her mother has set her to school and th clothes were too small and I’ve had to provide her with clothes I’ve sent clothes that fit to her mother’s house I’ve taken her to the doctor when her mother lied about getting her shots done and the preschool wouldn’t accept her anymore because she didn’t have the shots required and when her father talked to her mother her mother said yes she did it and she lied about it so when we got her the school contacted us and told her that she couldn’t come back until she had her shots, and I bought gifts for her sometimes she calls me Mom and sometimes she calls me my name and I don’t care either way but what extremely hurtful is when she comes back from her mom’s to tell me that her mom doesn’t like the, gifts that I get her her mom doesn’t like the clothes that I get her therefore she doesn’t like anything that I get her I always make sure that I never say anything rude or mean about her mother in front of her no matter how much I don’t like the things that she does but the fact that her mother is okay with saying hurtful things like that in front of her and she comes and repeats them to me just makes it that much worse if these kids call that woman mom (and they’re not being forced to) and I would try to find some way to work around that and understand that your kids feel comfortable around that woman because if this is how you feel and you’re already explaining to your children that she’s not their mother what else are you showing in front of them. I understand that you might be feeling hurt because these kids see her as a protective figure.
What most havent paid attention to or thought of is that the mom has said the kids are being forced to call the stepmom that. Also her ex has ignored her request not to do that. Thats not right no matter what
Be thankful that they are comfortable enough with her to call her Mom. She’s not a replacement, she’s a bonus Mom. Work on COPARENTING!
There is only one mom who gave birth to children. Once to have some one love your babies as much as you do but she is not those mom you are and you should be too only one being called mom you have birth to them not any one else its your right to be an upset some one else being called mom I don’t think its bitter at all its your children not hers end of!!!