Okay i need to know if i am overreacting or not…my childs father gets our child every other weekend…he has a shady past and when she is with him i get anxiety…i asked him to add me on social media just so i can keep tabs while he has her and he refuses…at this point i dont even want my child going over there because i am scared of who he has around and i know he always posts to social media…i dont get why he wont add me for my piece of mind…
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You sound ridiculous. I’d block you too!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My childs father refuses to add me on social media: Advice?
You’re being absurd. That is all
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If ur not together than it’s not ur business if she isn’t coming back harmed 
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Is he a good father? If so let him be a good father unless your going to tell him of your every move each second of every day
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You’re not together. He doesn’t have to add you. If you’re sooo worried about her being with him, without you around, get a court order or something. Cmon now 
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Your a damn psycho…nuff said lol
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If you have court ordered parenting time you can not refuse his parenting time because of this. He has the right to privacy. You do not get to see what he does, where he goes, etc with your child because you think you should.
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I have my oldest 2 kids dad blocked on every social media account he’s ever made because of harassment. If he posts the kids, cool. Just don’t message me 
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Honestly yes you are over reacting. Legally, unless the kids are in any sort of danger, we cannot control who the other parent has around the kids. Nor do they have to be friends with us on social media. Maybe when your coparenting relationship gets easier he will be more open to adding you on social media.
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Wow, control freak much?!
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Ahhhh well carry on.
If your not together, why should he add u as a friend.
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Maybe he doesn’t add u for his piece of mind…
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I wouldn’t add you either… tf?!
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I don’t blame him for not adding you. You sound super controlling. It’s his time. As long as he’s not harming her, what he does on his time, it’s his business.
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Mind ya business girl. Lol
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That sounds unhinged af. What would stop him from posting while with the kid? Nothing. He does not have to add you, nor would I with these absurd demands tbh. Jfc I don’t even have my own husband on social media matter of fact, he is blocked
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Umm Jesus Christ what did I just read sounds like you have control issues… you ain’t together and when he has he’s daughter it’s he’s time. Keeping tabs on them wow 
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Is this a real question? 
Is this a joke? Hell no he doesn’t have to add you to anything!
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If you would like to keep tabs, the tabs can be kept through text messages. You don’t have to have him on social media! I understand it might be be annoying, but maybe having you off of his socials might be better for HIS peace of mind? You will be okay, I promise! Especially if it’s every other weekend because that means he has the child a lot less than you do… Im sure you have his number so when you want an update, just text him 
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If you are that worried, before you do anything, you need proof.
I get it. Been there. But he isn’t required to add you unless there’s a court order. Provided your child isn’t coming home with injuries or freaking out, you have to stop pushing it. You have his number. Text once each day she’s gone. If you overdo it, he can claim harassment. If you get that anxious, therapy. You made a child with him. He has a right too this time w/o you stalking him.
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Why? He’s an ex…his media is no longer your media.
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Girl bye! Go take yourself and sit down. He don’t have to add you! It’s his child too. Go take a Xanax.
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Because he doesn’t have to? What is his shady past and is he doing anything in the present that’s of concern?
I mean everyone else has pretty much said it but honestly if she isn’t coming back harmed. Drop it. You’re being ridiculous and childish.
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I have my ex blocked because of his stalkerish behavior, his inability to keep his nose out of my business, and his lack of grip with reality. If you have legitimate concerns, address it with court. The only time his business is your business is if it endangers your child. If it endangers your child, address it with court or law enforcement depending on the nature. Otherwise stay in your lane and worry about your own life.
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You sound like the problem
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Dumbest thing I’ve seen all day
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This is fake cmon lol
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I’m crazy….but this is next level. Just no.
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Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do. Depending on the age of your child, you can ask a judge for supervised visits due to not knowing who your child is around if the dad is doing shady things. When my daughter was little, I asked for drug testing and I had to pay out of pocket for it. It was the best thing I did. It protected her and he was still able to see her but through supervised visits. Someone said you are being absurd, I think it’s the anxiety in you not knowing who your baby is around.
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Sorry but you don’t get to “keep tabs” when the other parent has your child. It is their time with your child, not yours. He does not have any obligation to add you to his social media profiles. If who he has your children around is a problem, discuss it in court, but chances are that won’t likely get you very far as you have to have good reasoning.
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You have no say so on what he does in his life even a judge will tell you this. I understand you’re concerned for your child’s well being but unless he is abusive or an addict or alchoholic then what he does over there on his scheduled visit time is none of your business and you’ll just have to get over it.
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Seriously?! You want him to add you?!. Shoot, I blocked my sons bio dad. Also, do you think he’s going to tell you what he’s going to do on Facebook. All he has to do is …not post or changes his settings.
And if your worried for your daughters SAFETY to the point of asking others for advice! Then you already know ur answer! Don’t let her go! Shit, screw any kinda “arrangement”. Don’t send ur kid. You would have to put me in jail before I let my kid go with dad anywhere.
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I don’t want my ex on my fb. Kids or not. No way.
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You’re ridiculous and need to grow up. His social media is his business not yours.
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I get her ,but it’s obvious how insecure this room is ha wait til something happens !? What!? If parents can’t be transparent and honest then there’s issue …not sorry can tell that there’s ppl that’s commented that are in relationships with baby daddies ,co parenting is honest and transparent.
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You can’t make him do anything.
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How did we ever manage before the powers of Facebook? Oh yeah we let the kids go and have some time off and waited for them to return on the day and time arranged
Any problems the other parent would call,
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With all honesty, he has no obligation to add you to social media, especially knowing it’s only so you can keep tabs on him. As a mother myself I can sympathize with you but unfortunately this is just something that is out of your control.
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Are you a teenager seriously
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Why did you have a child with him if he has a shady past 
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Shouldn’t be using social media in the first place. If you don’t know them on a personal level, you don’t need to govern their existence. Mind your business.
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Do you think he’s going to post a play by play of his life on Facebook?? Ya all aren’t in here high school (hopefully)
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Yeah no. I don’t want my daughter’s dad anywhere near my social media. And any judge will straight up tell you know. Plus how do you know he even really posts about your child? Nah, man.
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This is extremely petty behaviour for an adult
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I’ve blocked my children’s dad lol. Don’t want them stalking me
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Toxic. An trust me you don’t want him on social media.
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Um not everyone uses their Facebook even if they have it it won’t help keeping tabs on him if you wanna keep tabs then have an open communication with him?
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My son’s father and his gf of 7 years have a great co parenting relationship now, but it wasn’t always this way. We buy eachother gifts for mothers/father’s day. I have bought their kids stuff and they even have bought for my step daughter. They recently invited me to their son/my son’s brothers birthday etc and we still do not have eachother on social media
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Probably cus his social media is none of your business. If you feel all these things go to court in front of a judge and plead your case with evidence
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Yeah um no… None of my ex’s are one any of my social medias. Why? So they can’t “keep tabs” on me. The ex has every right to have a life without you keeping tabs on them. You’re either a narcissist or obsessive. Either way, it’s not healthy. Now, if y’all could co-parent and get along that’s a different story 
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Are you serious???
Sounds like your using your child to try and find out what he is doing…You need to get a life or a hobby
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There is alot of reasons why men don’t keep their exes on social media, text him or ring him, let him have the time with his child, as he see them less, that time is especially precious to him.
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He has no obligation to add you to anything…you are an EX. Your story sounds kinda stalker ish.
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He doesn’t have to add you. Seems he doesn’t want to be your friend. Respect his decision
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Tbh he has every right to not want you on FB, you ain’t together, it’s his time with your child, if you REALLY had a problem with him you wouldn’t be sending your child anyway
You just sound like you want to snoop and find something to moan at.
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That doesn’t even make any sense how would you keep tabs on her through Facebook if he’s not posting anything on Facebook about her I feel like maybe you’re just grasping at straws you don’t get to control his parenting time you might want to check that
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Ewww id never have my ex husband on my Facebook
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I will start off by saying aside from sharing a child and ensuring that your child you have together is taken care of, it sounds like you two aren’t a thing so he is not required to add you. Another question I have would be if you’ve been seen for anxiety. Many times anxiety can be portrayed as controlling because your constant worrying makes you want to constantly know what is happening. Maybe try to see a doctor to help you until you can get some tools for appropriate coping. Good luck mama. I’m sorry it’s so hard.
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What did I just read???
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I only have my older two kids dad on my Facebook and TikTok. Because we have an excellent co parenting relationship, but my youngest kids dad, nope.
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That’s a bit controlling ?? He is not with you and he should not have you seeing his personal life period… you both or who ever decided not to in a relationship - you don’t get relationship privileges… it blows my mind you think you have a right to be on his social media… if you have seen Abuse or suspect abuse then address it in court… other than that, it’s none of your business
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Unfortunately when your daughter is in your exs care, you have no say on what goes on when she is with him.
I understand feeling concerned of past behaviour but you can not control or dictate what your ex dose and who hes with , thats his daughter to not just yours, he has no obligation to do what you want him to do.
If things are bad and you have general concerns for your daughters safety (that dose not inculde feeling of jealousy or any grudge from the past) then you need to contact a lawyer, go though mediation and go to court.
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Yes you are overreacting. He has no obligation to add you on any of his sociamedia’s.
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Because it’s not your business. You chose to make a child with him. You don’t get a say in how he parents on his time.
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I’m gonna assume these comments didn’t go as you thought they would. Yeah…we all taking dad’s side on this one.
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Grow up. Heal and move on.
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I’m saying this with all the respect possible, but ma’am he is the father as well and you my dear sound like a control freak. Back off some let the dad be dad when he has his child as he has the same rights as you do second off you might want to seek professional help for this as it sounds kind of more like your trying to stalk his every move.
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You can’t keep your child from your ex based on your paranoia or hunches. This definitely needs to go to custody court and he should rightfully take you there if you are gonna be petty. Its stalkerish you wanna follow their social media to keep tabs. Icky behavior
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Abusers don’t post in a public arena if they’re doing anything wrong. They’re not stupid. So there’s no point and you wou;dn’t find anything out.
He’s not adding you because you are trying to control what he does and he doesn’t want you in his business. You must have displayed some behaviour in the past that indicated it’s not in his best interest to him to add you. There’s nothing to do but deal with it…
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He doesn’t have to add you , and if I were him I will not do it neither, what he does with his daughter when she is with him it’s not your business.
Seems that you are very controlling and have to calm down.
If you really think that your daughter is in danger you should just go to the court not begging him to add you in his social media.
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Lmfao. My ex complained to my judge that I wouldn’t accept him on social media, and the judge LAUGHED
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That’s overstepping big time and ridiculous. If you are that concerned for her safety then you should seek legal advice on modifying the parenting plan…otherwise if your child isn’t in any danger or being neglected then theres nothing you can do about it…I’m not sure how spying on social media is going to do any good anyway…it will only create drama really and truly
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It sucks because your concerns matter and your heart is with the wellbeing of your child… but there’s this harsh reality to this situation where you just have to learn to let this go. Let that control go. Because honestly you don’t get much choice in the matter unless something actually happens and you have the proof to know and use as your leverage. I know you’re looking for that in his social media in case anything ever could happen, but you’re not going to be able to find it there, because again, he doesn’t have to add you and clearly doesn’t want to.
It sucks having to share our babies sometimes and I have my share of crippling anxiety over what could happen with my child when she’s with her other parent. You just have to learn to go with the flow, pray a lot (pray, hope, WILL good vibes into the universe in your child’s behalf) and be your child’s advocate when they need it. 
I wish you the best of luck in this difficult situation.
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What’s his fb I’ll add him & show you everything lmao.
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Bc you can’t control him. You can only document aftermath. His time is his time to cherish or destroy as he deems fit.
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Even if he added you it is easy to post certain things to “friends except….”
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You need an outlet to help you not worry. I know that sounds crazy but, you can let it get out of control. If you don’t trust him talk to your lawyer about why you don’t and what steps should be taken. Otherwise just leave it alone. It’s just an excuse to snoop.
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Have you been to court and set child support and visitation…if so, what he does is none of your business, you sound like a jealous ex who wants him back, and thought having a baby would make him stay with you, should of planned on being a single mom, or waited until you got married to have a baby. He probably has another girlfriend and you want to be nosey!
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Me and the father to my 3 kids have been divorced for almost 9 years now. We don’t have nor have had each other on any social media platform… there is absolutely no point in you being on his social media other than being nosey or controlling. And if it’s just the fact that you do not trust him, then you need to take it to court. Social media won’t help you…
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I got my kids dad blocked im not tryna have them in my business
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Who do you think you are?! He does not have to do crap for “your piece of mind” uggh so entitled
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What’s wrong with you? I mean I understand your concerns if he’s being shady but as far as adding you to social media, you sound very controlling. It doesn’t look good for you. I feel sorry for your daughter.
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I think your heart is in the right place girl and you just want to protect your own but at the end of the day he is allowed to say no to adding you. You’re not together anymore so just leave it be unless you have some legit concerns then maybe seek legal advice instead of trying to scope out his life with his daughter.
No offense but your piece of mind isn’t his concern.
Social media has nothing to do with him having visitation … see a therapist as soon as possible ,
Try to work on healthy boundaries
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That’s a great thing. Social media is toxic and poisonous, for the most part. I only have FB for old friends, family members and really that’s the only social media platform I’m on…
It’s none of your business and you are overreacting. I’m not friends with my ex FOR A REASON. You now have a child and the courts don’t care about that kind of thing.
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Lol he doesn’t hav to add u but u could both maybe agree neither of u post ur child on social media
Its almost like hes not your husband, weird that he wont do what you want
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If my husband and I split , my kids wouldn’t be going to my husbands without know who is or would be around, who he’s associating with either.
Momma is a tad bit crazy when it comes to her babies safety,
No social media and visitor info, no visits, I’m not waiting for a what if , I’m Canadian I’m preparing for the what if……
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If he’s not hurting her nor putting her in harms way and she’s not vocally telling you that there’s an issue, leave it alone and allow him to be a father to her . Your relationship with him is done and over with so if he doesn’t want you on his social media and in his business , it’s perfectly acceptable and definitely understandable. Just because he has a shady past does not mean that he can’t be a good dad . He only has her 2 days every 2 weeks. He should be allowed to have his own time with her without you getting involved.
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Make a fake account take their phone away. You’re the adult
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Is this some sort of joke??? Seriously!!! Why does he have to add you? My 2 oldest children have their own phones so the contact is done through them I just drop them off and pick them up. Unless there is any concerns of course then we have to talk but we don’t have to be social media friends The kids are happy and we both know each other look after them. She’s fine if she’s coming home fine!! He’s entitled to time and privacy with his child! 
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If you have doubts, I would not allow him to even see her! Children are a gift from God. Protect them.
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Grow up! It’s social media not really something I’d really lose any sleep over.
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Um… he’s not obligated to have you on social media. It’s personal & you cannot force him to add you. Also if it’s court ordered you can’t precent him from spending time with his daughter. You can get in serious legal problems for that.
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