None of your business
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I wouldn’t add you either. You’re trying to overstep.
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He doesn’t have to add you. I know you are concerned but unless you see bruises or some sign your child has been hurt, you don’t have a say in what he does with your child on his time. You didn’t say how old the child is so I don’t know if you can simply ask your child what they did. When they can talk though, it is alright to ask that of your child. You chose this guy to make a child with. Now you need to make the best of it. If you see no signs of harm just try and calm your worries.
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Because his parenting time isn’t your business and you literally asked him to add you keep tabs on him. You’re essentially asking him to allow you to stalk him.
I get the anxiety but at the end of the day his parenting time is his time and you do not have the right to keep your child from him without cause and because he had a shady past isn’t just cause.
Why don’t you try asking him what they are doing. Try coparenting for a change. You cannot control that man what he does or who he talks to it doesn’t mean he is causing his child any grief.
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My kids father and I aren’t friends on Social media either. If you are so concerned and don’t trust him with your child than you should speak with a lawyer about your concerns and options.
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You’re already letting your child go with him and your child comes home just fine every time right? You don’t need to be on his social media for reassurance. The reassurance is him returning your child to you in good health. Be thankful he takes the time for the child and just let him live his life.
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He’s probably not adding you because you sound extremely controlling. I get it that you’re worried, but you had a child with him and he deserves to have privacy with her as long as he’s not putting her in danger. And if he is, you need to take him to court. I have my kids father blocked on all of my social media because he is controlling as well. And I have a right to privacy. I left him for a reason.
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Well first off, my child isn’t going with anyone shady father or not. No, he doesn’t have to add you and that won’t protect your child from a shady person. Hell, I’m not even friends with my man.
Bc it ain’t about you and your piece of mind. his personal life isn’t your business anymore.
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Keep tabs on what? What he’s doing and who he is with (when he has your child or not) is irrelevant, and any judge on the continent would tell you that. Just like when people try to say they don’t want someone’s partner around their child - a judge will not enforce it unless there is evidence that person is a danger. You can ask Dad to text you to provide photos/updates if he’d like to, but that’s about it.
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Why can’t you just text or call him? He does not need to add you to his social media. Honestly what’s Facebook going to do ease your mind? Sounds like you just want to pry on his personal life which is none of your business.
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He doesn’t have to add you on social media tho…once yall child isn’t in harms way i don’t see the need…stay in your lane and focus on your child
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You’re not overreacting. You didn’t say what his past was. Substance abuse, domestic violence, issues with child care before. Should’ve definitely given a more clear picture. If your child staying with him seems that bad, or he seems that unfit, go back to court. Talk to the court about it. Ask for supervised visitations, at least for a while. If “had a past” means you guys didn’t get along, that can’t be held against him. Does his past actually pose a threat to her safety? Ask him if you could trade contact information, such as a phone number, rather than social media. So that you can both communicate. See if he’s interested in good night and good morning pictures. Sending a picture at bedtime and when waking up, but your also be doing the same for him when he’s not got his time with her. Many coparents do this for each other peace of mind and just because they miss the child. If you’re going off the walls worried about who she might be around when you there, ask to have a civil sit down and discuss it. As mom and dad you have to agree who your child can be around. If one of you feels they are shady or do not have good intentions talk about it, but don’t be petty because the other is looking for a partner. Obviously there’s boundaries, not every man or woman can meet the child after one date. Just be civil, and talk things out.
Social media isn’t gonna save your child and if your baby daddy has one ounce of intelligence in his brain, he wouldn’t post anything bad anyway for you to see even if it was happening. You’d be much better off asking if you can call your child once a day to say hello and ask how they’re doing. Demanding to be friends on social media just sounds like you wanna watch HIM.
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FIRST OF ALL you are not his keeper! You have no rights to keeping track of him just because he is your baby daddy, that just sounds ridiculous! No matter the type of person he is, no matter what his past is you have absolutely no right to his social media EVER! What that man does in his life has nothing to do with you, IF you fill your child is endangered you need to seek legal avenues!
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Because you’re not entitled to be on his social media…there’s nothing that says you need to be lol. You are entitled to know the child is having a fun time and safe and that’s it, you don’t get to overstep and be like “ok well if you don’t add me in Facebook she can’t go over”
As long as your little one comes home, and comes home happy…that’s all that matters.
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You’re out of line honestly, he’s allowed to have a life aside from you and has zero obligation to allow you into that, you’re no longer together. Let it go.
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Um his time is his time . You say " shady past " but what’s he like now ? Has he made changes in his life ? If you think he hasn’t changed from his " shady past " why would you send the child in the first place ? Relax and let him have his time . If she comes home with bruises or any other signs of types of abuse , that is when you need to be concerned. I get it’s your child and you want her safe but his past is his past. He shouldn’t have to add you on social media . That’s his decision but if I was him , I’d want my time with my kid and nobody cutting into my time .
That’s weird energy. 
The things you want to see I’m sure he wont put on there. Save that energy for something else.
He not adding you because your his ex and who wants the ex “keeping tabs on them.” That’s a little unhinged.
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You sound very controlling… I would not add you to my social media either 
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You are legit crazy 
He the man’s clever for saying NO 
With all honesty though , seek PROFESSIONAL help and councillors … for yourself , not the situation 
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You don’t have a right to keep tabs on (or stalk) him through his social media, nor does he have that right to do to you. He can whoever he wants around the child unless it’s someone whose a known criminal or something and you could petition the court about someone specific like that. You had a baby with him, he has just as many rights as you do unless you can actually prove he’s putting the child in danger. Courts don’t go off of “feelings” thank God.
He doesn’t have to add you if he doesn’t want too, I see why he’s your ex.
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“Just so I can keep tabs…”
Full stop
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What he does is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. girl I promise if you would stop wondering about what he is doing you will be so much more better off…I have my ex blocked on everything…because all he does is try to use any and everything against me and he gets pissed if I have a partner EVEN IF HE IS WITH SOMEONE…
As long as your daughter isn’t in danger while there being beat or starved she is good and that is all that matters.
Repeat as long as your daughter isn’t in danger being beat or starved . What goes on over there is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS…
I promise you it’ll be so much better once you stop worrying about what he’s doing .
For your peace of mind stop worrying about him entirely
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Me and my baby daddy don’t have each other on social media. I could careless what he posts or does. As long as he puts my daughter first and takes care of her and don’t have her around the wrong people, gotta give the man a chance to be a dad, until you got proof he’s not fit then he should be in your child’s life. I have anxiety when my daughter is with her dad too but I gotta let the man be a dad.
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His social media isn’t going to tell you what he is doing or where he is at there is no reason for you to be added to it. If you are that concerned about your child file in court for him to have supervised visitation and ask the judge to have him take parenting classes. Remember you trusted him enough to lay down and make a child with him if he is such a bad guy why would you have been with him to begin with.
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Yeah You are wrong on this one… Y’all aren’t together he has no need for you on Social Media Period.
IF you are Truly concerned for your childs safety Social Meadia should be the least of your concern!
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He doesn’t have to add you, or have anything to do with you, he gets his kids and that’s his time with them, if you have a problem take it up with your lawyer or a mediator, I see why he’s your ex.
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You need to let go of control. His time is his time. How would you feel if the wheels were turned. You’re probably over thinking and need to get a life of your own and enjoy your time alone with things to do, friends, etc. your thought process is out of concern for your kid but to spend all your time spying on the baby daddy (cause that’s what it is) is way over the line. You need to have boundaries and respect boundaries of other people. If there is a court agreement and the judge didn’t assign supervised visits then you don’t need to be over here supervising.
Nope. Sooner you accept you have no control over his parenting time the better off you and your kid will be… And even if he added you on social media he could still hide/block you from his posts so I really don’t see the point. Lol.
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Your peace of mind is NOT his responsibility.
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Controlling much? The relationship is over and he has every right not to be friends with you on social media. His past does not equal his present and you infering it does only shows you to be the problem not him
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Chill, you don’t own him he doesn’t owe you anything.
Your crazy and looking for drama
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He doesn’t have to add you on his social media if he doesn’t want to and it sounds as you just wanna be in his business keeping tabs on your child he doesn’t need to add you to his account for that y’all can talk on a phone or do video chat through google meets or something else he doesn’t need to add you to his account for you to check on your daughter while she’s with him not trying to be mean at all but that’s his choice and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to do you can’t be getting mad at him for not wanting you in his business all the time when there’s obviously other ways to keep tabs and check on your child besides adding her dad to social media:face_with_raised_eyebrow:
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You sound very controlling. You do not have a right to keep tabs on him through his social media. As long as he is taking good care of your child, what he does is his business.
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Because he doesn’t have to add you. I have my ex blocked. Sounds like you are a helicopter parent and that will bite you in the butt and show you as controlling
TRUST YOUR GUT!!! i had the same anxiety when my sons dad would take him. I thought it was just me being petty and pushed past it. Until the cops showed up at my house. He had allowed his “wife” to beat my son black and blue!!! Never again will i ignore my gut feeling when it comes to my kids.
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Uhh, nope. Nope nope nope.
He doesn’t need to add you that’s why
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Nope. You can only control what goes on in your household. And anyway, by being on his social media is not gonna tell you or show you anything unless he posts. Please refocus your energy on proper parenting. Social media shouldn’t be any part of it.
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You don’t need to be on his Facebook. End of story.
Your over doing it, just because he doesn’t add you on social media he can’t have YA’LLs child? I wish my daughters father would of tried to get our girls when they were little. Let him be the father and you should probably go get put on some anxiety medication. Your being unfair and your not with him so he doesn’t need to add you to social media to be a father to his child.
Get a grip. That’s her father. The only thing you have to communicate about is her not his social media.
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I don’t have my child’s father on my social media because I don’t see the point of having him. Personal reasons though. As I was briefly reading other comments, there are other ways to give you that peace of mind like sending a quick text asking how your child’s doing or if they are doing something fun together. Sometimes even a phone call and asking to speak with the child to say hi and see if they’re having fun.
That’s not parenting that’s piloting, you’re not in his life other than his child’s parent, bow out gracefully and quit trying to direct his life. How would you like him dictating your life and social connections? Really, smh.
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If I were him, I wouldn’t give AF about your peace of mind LMAO you’re not entitled to fk all
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Not everything that goes on at home ends up on social media. He doesn’t have to add you on social media. If you’re worried about him having your child around strangers when she’s with him, you can take him to court for it.
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Grow TF up…
Stop trying to be controlling… it is absolutely none of your business what he does. Or what she does when he’s with her… it is none of your business where he goes or what he does when he has her or who he has her around… 
Stop being a drama baby mama 
The only reason you’re questioning his parenting skills is because you’re not together if you were together you wouldn’t be up here doing this shit… 
Social media smh. Get over yourself. Social media is full of look at my perfect life lies. He doesn’t need to add you to that. He does need to only communicate about your son to you if warranted.
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How old is your daughter? Can you have scheduled facetime calls with her to tell her good morning and goodnight just to make yourself feel better? Otherwise yeah u don’t need to be on his socials
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I don’t have my daughter’s father on my social media, but he also doesn’t see her… either way you sound very controlling, an ex doesn’t have to be your Facebook friend just because you have a child together 
Lmao girl shut up🤦♀️
Its okay to still be hurt. I know you want to know what’s going on but do you think its because you don’t trust him with the kid or because you aren’t over him? Guys are different. Maybe he won’t add you because he doesn’t want to see what you’ve been up to, maybe he’s hurt too. I don’t know what you guys have been through or how recently you broke up. But I guess I’d just say you should use the time that you get for yourself, to focus on yourself and better your life. I have the worst anxiety and I understand how you feel. Im still working on being able to let things go. It’ll never be too late to work on yourself. You also might benefit from hearing this…I know I did but
" if you worry about something before it happens, you’re only putting yourself through it twice"
Child will be fine , I wouldn’t worry unless you have a reason to.
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And THIS is why he doesn’t want to add you. Can you say CONTROLLING!!! Try calling or texting to check on your child. BUT when she is with him it’s HIS time, not yours. Let them spend time together. Go find a hobby
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So, hopefully you have a custody agreement!!! If not MAKE IT HAPPEN!!! Second, I have three sons (30, 22, and almost 12) and three ex’s. First one- we have always been friends, second is an idiot we are not FB friends but we don’t block each other, the last is a drug user and doesn’t have any contact, not FB friends and not blocked). Only formal court custody with the last two.
You do not get a say about who your child is with unless you have proof the child is being abused, neglected or abandoned… PERIOD!!
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Not everything revolves around social media or you. If his past is that bad, take him to court for custody. If not, mind your business.
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This is actually ridiculous… I don’t have mine on my social media and I’m completely fine with that. When it’s his time, it’s his time. Doesn’t matter about his past or not, all of us have a past. This is just ridiculous! You cannot be in control of everything!
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And all honesty Mama, it doesn’t matter if she add you or not she can block you from seeing whatever she doesn’t want you to see. I do it all the time with my posts. You’ll only ever see what she want you to see anyway
Why did you procreate with someone so “shady” if you dont even trust him alone with her?
If he has asked for shared custody, then it sounds like he cares about his daughter. Obviously hes entitled to privacy, and would be hesitant to give you full access into his life. He doesnt have to.
Hopefully she’s safe, and having a good time. I think anxiety about your child going anywhere without you is pretty normal. So, dont get all paranoid about dad, until something happens. Clearly the judge thought he was safe enough. Im assuming you brought evidence of his past behaviour to court since it makes you so uncomfortable? Best to stay positive, and optimistic so your daughter can feel more at ease.
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Stop it, you don’t have the right to micromanage him. If he was that shady of a person you probably shouldnt have created a child with him. You sound like a handful and that’s probably EXACTLY why he won’t add you. What he does with his visit time is none of your business, even a judge will let you know that. Just stop.
Call or text to check on your child and only your child… you don’t get to “keep tabs” on your ex anymore 
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Move on, stop trying to control the situation. Do you think he will ever hurt your kid? If yes, do something about it. If no, it’s bit your problem he doesn’t have to add you.
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If you still contact each other you don’t need to be on his social media, neither one of my kids dad’s are on mine their weekends are with their dad’s and their weekdays are with me and if we need to contact each other it’s via phone or text
If you don’t trust him or see him as a danger you need to make it supervised access with solid reason why with proof or leave it as is
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He doesn’t have to add you as a friend on Social Media. Everyone has a past but just because he has a past, doesn’t mean he’s a bad father. Unless your daughter is being put in harms way, you don’t get to have control over his time with her. I know that’s hard. As an outsider, I can understand why he doesn’t want to add you to his social media. Adjust your approach and instead of demanding and trying to control everything, try coparenting and working with him instead. You’d be amazed at how much farther you get by doing this.
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Your over reacting to an extent. If shes old enough to talk just ask her how her time with daddy went and what they did, kids tell on everything without meaning to. If you don’t trust him with her then there has to be proof of why or the court won’t see it from your side. Social media is basically all lies. My little brother has nothing to do with his kid yet on social media he has single father in the bio and pics of him and his daughter from months ago. Which was also the only time he’s ever seen her.
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First of all… unless she’s in danger it’s none of your business who he has around. You want him to add you, so you can keep tabs on him? Sounds stalker’ish and like perhaps you’re not over him. I take it that you try and grill your kid as soon as she gets home too he obviously is willing to be a a father and take care of his child. Be grateful. Shady past or not. Most have us have some sort of shade in our pasts. My advice. Grow up. What happens at his house is none of your business. Just as what happens at yours is none of his.
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Sorry he doesn’t want you on there can’t make him
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Ummm no! You are out of your mind lady
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Don’t think anyone has their ex’s on their social media why would you want to ,your concern sounds fake since you still allow your child to go anyway ,I mean why would you let your child stay with someone you have concerns about , sounds like you just want to spy on that ex of yours 
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She will be OK. It’s good for him and her to have a relationship.
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Nope. You don’t need to be Facebook friends. If you’re that worried about her safety go to court and see what could be done. Being friends on social media won’t change anything.
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This has crazy baby momma written all over it 
.
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Girl he don’t owe you shit
I wouldn’t want MY ex on social media… That said…your child’s safety comes first. Idk how old she is. Old enough for a cell phone with tracking app? If not get one of those kid trackers with gps…some let u listen in… Then sew it into the tongue of her sneaker and send her with only one pair. You can always drive by. But don’t act crazy.
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Social media isnt gunna give you piece of mind you just wanna snoop and be controlling.
Of hes a good dad then let him have his time with her… if not go to court to get supervised visits.
My ex and i havent had eachother on docial media in YEEEEAAAAARS.
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Hopefully your not one of THOSE parents that grill the child as soon as they get home. It’s none of your business what is going on …on his page.
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All you need is his phone number! He does not have to add you on social media so you can keep “tabs” on him. If you don’t trust him with your child that he fathered then you shouldn’t have had a kid with him. You clearly trusted him at some point. He has rights to take your child every other weekend he doesn’t need to give you a play by play on what he is doing with the child.
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My son added me on his social media with one condition that I don’t talk to his friends. I respect that. You have to learn to trust your child
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I get your point. But no, he doesn’t have to add you. And that’s that.
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Hell no. You sound like my ex and his gf. Y’all do not need to be friends on Facebook. If you really feel that way that your baby is not safe then take the father back to court. 
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Firstly, its your child so whether it is his weekend or not you have the right to know who and what he is doing around your child. Im not friends with exes but if my kids were younger and they spent time with their dad, yes i would expect to be on their socials because i know i have horrible taste in men and i never trusted my youngest with her dad. Thankfully hes in jail so i didnt have to worry like that. None of my kids dads were in the picture so i never had to worry about that.
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8 years of coparentung here after a toxic 5 year relationship. Parents to two boys. We are not friends on social media and you shouldn’t want to be. You will see things that trigger you and it will cause arguments. That’s what happens when you have children and don’t end up together. You chose to trust that persons judgment and now you have to. If your kid isn’t safe or in danger step in but otherwise just let him be a dad. Men do things wayyy different than women but at least he’s trying to be involved. Don’t push him away from your child and definitely don’t grill him about social media… it’s his social life… best wishes!
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You didn’t mind his past when you had a child with him. His days are his business. Just like I’m sure you wouldn’t be okay with him stocking you when your child is with you, always wanting to know what y’all are doing.
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It’s not your job to keep tabs on him when he has her… You gonna expect him to unfriend you and add you back all the time… You just wanna keep tabs on him 24/7.
I’m friends with both my exes and don’t watch either one because I’m happy they are both happy. And I don’t really post much… So I know they ain’t watching mine.
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It sounds like she want to MICRO MANAGE their visit
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Why would he add you? Seems like you are trying to control him
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Yea no I don’t add my exs either that’s going over a bit much
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You don’t say how old the child is, that makes a difference imo
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Ur trying to be a stalker. U have to share your kid. I unfriended my seperated husband/child’s father because I just want to unlink my self from him n learn to be my own person. Doesn’t matter who he has around. As long as the child is safe and unless he’s giving u reasons to be concerned. I believe your over reacting. Like even my child’s psychologist (for anxiety due to me n her dad n our choices) has told me not to deny the father visitation. That instead i should supervise till he becomes more stable with his sobriety. But I fukn hate being around him it sux. N I even let him visit her here at my home n be civil… when I wanna punch him in the fuckn head cuz he owes me so much money n cuz he fukn broke my heart. Like he’s ready to be friends but I’m like im still upset with u. N where the fuck is my child support. He’s a narcissist. We’re going to child support court. He asked for that. He felt 80$ a week is took much. When I bought him a lawyer n kept his ass out of prison n bought him the fuckn truck he’s cruising in. Has both our names. So I can’t call the police. Shits his too lmao. Yeah ppl suck. But I Still try to be civil n friendly for my kid. Then he sometimes thinks we’re friends I’m like nah all this is for our kid. The peace is for the kid. I still hate u very much sir. Lol its cuz he broke my heart lmao. Parenting is hard. N fukn sux when u have kids with ppl. Because u can’t just drop them.
Haha noooo! I’m not friends with my ex or any of his sisters
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Some of these comments are nuts I would be worried to if he has a bad past link your daughter to ur account and you will see where she has been how long ECT. I think it’s called family link
For your own sanity, let it go. My ex and I get along great, my husband and I have two children together and the older one actually even goes to my exes house all the time to spend the night with his brother, my husband and ex coach football together, we do birthday parties together and we’re still not friends on social media. That’s his personal life and until he proves otherwise unfortunately you have to trust that he’s doing his job as a dad. The sooner you let it go, the less stressed you’ll be.
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It’s really none of your business
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I know you are just playing cause if not, I can see why you’re an ex.
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- It’s not just your child. It’s his child too.
- I’m sure he doesn’t want you “to keep tabs” on him. I wouldn’t add you either.
- He doesn’t have to add you to any social media. Same as you don’t have to add him.
You come off entitled and controlling. If your child isn’t in danger (you’ve given no indication you think they are) then stop. Co-parenting is hard enough don’t add more stress to it.
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