My childs father thinks I pick everyone over him

So long story short, me & my baby father just welcomed my 19 yr old brother into our house. On agreement that he gets his life together, 1st week he was here for a job, he helps clean, he has already paid more than half of his share of rent & bills. Only been here maybe a month. Baby father wants to kick him out because he says my brother is not doing good enough to him… & bcus I ended things with baby father 2 days ago due to our own issues. But arpparently he thinks it’s cus my brother… 1st week my brother moved in my baby father set up a camera to spy on my brother to see if he would go in the kitchen when we aren’t home & I honestly think that’s very very crazy to me like why ?! Who cares ?! He’s very disrespectful to me & says he’s never going to change I’ve dealt with this for almost 10 years… he says I’m picking everyone over him… am I wrong to be upset?

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Without knowing the full story your child’s father sounds controlling and abusive. I’d end it with him and kick him out. Your brother is more than paying his way.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My childs father thinks I pick everyone over him

The fact that you are posting this, probably is shifting your way to believe that you are not fault.

He seems very controlling
:triangular_flag_on_post: waaaaving high

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If your brother’s doing good you stick with him and kick father number two for the crew sounds like he’s a little crazy anyway

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He sounds like a needy kid… Your brother can Never be replaced but he can… Just saying 🤷

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That’s beyond crazy and controlling To see if he goes in the kitchen? He’s paying his way. Sounds like baby daddy jealous, controlling and manipulative trying to make you feel bad. Tell him bye bye

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Nope and it’s his that all
Y’all split up he’s abusive

Nope…NOPE!! He sees that with Brother around, you can be completely fine without him. He wants to isolate , detach you from support!! DONT FALL FOR THIS!!! This has narassist written all over it. He is going to destroy your relationship with your brother if you allow, COUNT ON IT. He is terrified you are going to see the change in yourself and your situation and so he is going to run all kinds of games for distraction, and convince you, that you ARE CRAZY!! That’s what narcissist do!! They break you apart piece by piece, you don’t even feel it in the beginning. Start with removing that camera, you have to SET THE TONE…before you are buried alive.
Your brother trusted you with your commitment to help him and appears to be holding his end of the bargain. Stick with your brother sis…

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Why can’t you brother go on the kitchen when you are not home?? Obviously baby daddy needs to goooo!

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Who cares if he goes to the kitchen he is living there and pays his way :woman_shrugging:t3:

Sounds like your partner is just a twat and he should be kicked out not your brother!

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Not enough info. Who is responsible for the home? In the end it’s their decision who stays and goes. However it does sound like “brother” is getting the losing end of the arraignment. He did his part.

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If you already ended things with him. You have your answer. Good luck to you and your brother.

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Be done with that dude. It’s weird how he acts. A little mentally abusive to me!

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Nope girl cut the baby daddy out

Hes crazy and needs help…especially crazy if you have been dealing with that type of behavior for 10 years

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He’s got to go… The man not your brother.

He sounds like a man child. Say bye bye and be happy

He can’t go into the kitchen? Lol.

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This sounds crazy to me and he sounds very controlling. He already seems to place blame elsewhere for any and all the problems rather than looking internally at himself or the both of you. Cameras for doing what in the kitchen? Eating?

Why do you call him your baby father? After 10 years you don’t call him bf/parter/spouse etc? Sounds like you’ve been ready to walk… send him packing :woman_shrugging:t3:

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That’s a big NO for me, and you posting this I think you just want yo hear what you already know

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A camera to see if he goes in the kitchen when you’re not there?? Tf?! The kid can’t eat??

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in this case, family over this dude. kick him out, have him help w the kids but thats it, and brother–keep up the good work!!

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Your baby daddy is a control freak.

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Sounds like your bother is following thru with his obligations. You’re baby daddy is acting like an insecure jerk with a toxicity rate of 10. Best to drop him like a bad habit lest he drag you down. Don’t let him!

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:eye::lips::eye: He is trying to isolate you.

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Kick bd out he’s definitely got issues

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Sounds like the baby father needs to go, especially if he told you he’s not changing his ways after 10 years.

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Controlling is huge red flag . At a min take time out to see how you feel . Sounds like you’re brothers decent behaviour is scaring him that you may see sense. Why I think he’s being an arse :woman_shrugging:t3:. You got this. Trust if he is no good you will flourish without him in a little time.

I’d tell my kids father to kick rocks.That sounds crazy that he’d put cams up.

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Baby dad needs to fuck off

You allowing the bd to stay why exactly?

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Dump him if he says you are not good enough for him you said your brother helps you out what is the problem with him going in the kitchen when you are not home

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Run. Just run. You are way better off without him. If he is this way now, it might very well get worse. Especially when your child gets older, simply because your “man” cannot see anyone beside himself. His behavior is madness

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I guess I need more info. If your man has already left, no need to worry, but what has your brother been doing that he needs to get his life together?
Was he into drugs, did he steal stuff?
It’s awesome you are helping but your man could have had valid reasons, however it does sound like he took the wrong approach in expressing his concerns/feelings.

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Brother pays more than his share of the bills and he isn’t allowed in the kitchen when you aren’t home? :flushed: BD sounds very manipulative and controlling and like he wants your brother gone so you have to depend on him. Lots of narcissist vibes coming from him.

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He thinks you b#nging your brother or what . This dude is q red flag he doesn’t have red flags he is a red flag

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Family is family. Stick by your brother

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Let that man go. He probably won’t go willingly but he needs to move on. I don’t know why there would be an issue with your brother going in the kitchen while you aren’t home especially if he is contributing. Bf sounds very jealous and insecure that isn’t cute or necessary.

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He seems jealous of your brother & thats fucking weird. Kick him out instead lol.

Time to find an adult to share your life with. There is something definitely wrong with him and as time passes it will get worse

Leave the freak that’s ridiculous he’s trying to isolate you from family
Red flag…never go back

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Nope. Leave him. He sounds crazy. Toxic a$$ behavior as well

If he wants to set up cameras to watch your brother, this makes me think that he may have set up cameras to see what your up too :woozy_face: that’s ridiculous.

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He’s got insecurity issues. You already know what you need to do girl just do it

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How y’all stay with people like this to the point of having babies beats my understanding… Where do y’all buy or get such patience from? :thinking::expressionless:

So he’s not allowed to go to the kitchen for sustenance? Okay…

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Me and my brother are close. Imma chose my fam. I’m sorry. You’re not married. Or it doesn’t say so

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Your child’s father sounds like a mentally unstable, control freak. You & your brother do not deserve to deal with that.

And if you’ve truly been dealing with this behavior from him for 10 years, well that is a bigger issue.

You might want to seek out counseling for yourself to see why you think you deserve that treatment.

A person shows you who they are when they are angry… it’s your job to believe them. People don’t change unless they want to.

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why are you putting up with his crap.Spying on your brother thats sick.run

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Run! He’s mad your brother is there bc he has to actually act right and be respectful to you in front of you brother!

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You’re brother is family, and he is doing good by the sounds of it. What worries me is after you being with your boyfriend for 10 years, why letting him make all the decisions and rules? This can’t be the 1st time he has pulled this narcissistic behavior towards you? I think you best cut all ties with this man. #1 thing to do is get complete custody of your child, because if you don’t have it legally he can take the child and not return the child till custody case is set and filed. Whoever signs first can keep child till hearing date is scheduled. This guy sounds off his rocker!

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How are these stories even real???

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Sounds like “baby father” is a loser and you need to move on

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Leave :expressionless: he’s crazy .

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Sounds to me that you’ve wasted 10 years of your life with this man.

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Girl your BD is controlling! Get rid of him! Who cares if your brother went in the kitchen and ate food? He’s paying rent and bills. By all means he should be able to eat some food.

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Get rid putting up cameras to watch your brother in case he goes in the kitchen that’s crazy he needs to use kitchen to eat bathroom to shower etc control freak

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Sounds like bd is the one who needs to be kicked out. Tf

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Stick with your brother

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Girl Kick Baby Daddy out!!!

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20 will be your number if you do not go now! Or 65 and shit your out of time. Camera for new born ok.
Camera as spy cam? Is invasion of privacy unless sign posted

You SHOULD be picking everyone over him. He sounds like an a-hole

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You aren’t wrong to be upset. Your brother pays his way he should he allowed in the kitchen. He’s not a little boy but a 19 year old. Sounds like BD is jealous and a narcissistic jerk.

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Get the fuck out now… a camera in the kitchen??? Bye!

Stay Gone Baby Daddy

Sounds like your brother is more responsible then he is. And that is what his problem is. He must hate seeing what a real man is.

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Kick the man out. Your brother sounds like a good guy and will help.

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He’s definitely a control freak, how do you stand him??? Go get yourself a real life honey,you’re allowing him to take away your happiness! You already know this!!

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I hope you own the house. You deserve better. Toxic

Hell no kick him out

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Hold up so your brother’s not allowed in the kitchen when nobody’s home?? Like that sounds insane! Your dude sounds like a mental patient. Like who the fk does ish like that?

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Your feelings are valid but you don’t need to dwell on them. He will believe whatever he wants to and you can’t control that. It doesn’t matter why you broke things off with him you need to focus on co-parenting with him moving forward. Your only interaction should be about your shared child and he needs to mind his own business in regards to your brother.

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First off as someone who just lost their baby brother (27 but still my baby bro) I’d tell that man to kicks rocks. Also why does it matter if the brother is in the kitchen?

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Girl your way better off now. Focus on you and your child. If your brother is getting his life together, be there for him.

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you know how you feel…looks to me and this is only opinion, that when your Brother moved in everything you were already feeling bout your relationship came into the light big and bright…why a camera in the kitchen thats just wierd…he has to eat right??

Fuck him… family first always!

Sounds like he’s jealous

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You should pick everyone over him if he acts like that!!!

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Sounds like your brother’s a better room mate than your babys father

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Wait? Why can’t he go in the kitchen?

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Sounds like baby daddy wanted to stay your first child and you keep putting up with it. Keep him gone and save yourself.

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Just think… it’ll be your kid being spied on to see what he eats when the MAN isn’t there if you let this keep going.

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If you ended things already with your baby’s father in doesn’t matter what he thinks. Unless it’s pertaining to the child you two have together, What he thinks no longer matters. Live your life and ignore his comments. If he’s not your partner his opinion about those type of things don’t matter.

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Seems like baby daddy needs to get kicked out not brother

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If you have already broke it off with him he doesn’t need to be there. It sounds like he’s toxic and has a fragile ego. Tell that man to kick rocks.

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Sounds like baby daddy is nuckin futs wouldnt even deal with that crazy bullshit

Who cares what he thinks, you guys aren’t together anymore and he sounds jealous over your brother which is crazy.

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You are wrong for continuing to put up with his bullshit.
Let him go. Leave him be.

Yeah get rid. Also why can’t your brother go in the kitchen what a odd thing to do lol x

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Good lord. Your Baby daddy has issues. He also knows it’s not “cuz your brother”. He is just pushing that particular “you pick everyone over me “ button because it works. Obviously . Because here you are on FB second guessing yourself over something that isn’t even the reason you broke up with him. Clear out the smoke of his manipulations girl- and see things clearly.

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You can be upset but be strong & stand your ground. Tell him you have every right to choose ANYONE over him when he doesn’t treat you & others with respect. Sounds like you & your brother could make great roommates. Get your own place if possible. Hope your brother stays on the right track. You sound encouraging however your child’s father sounds discouraging.

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He seems controlling and that’s not cool, your brother is pulling his weight so what’s the issue he just want to project y’all issues on to the brother being there as a deflection. Also he’s NOT your husband , he’s or was your bf not that his feelings don’t matter but he’s disrespecting you by disrespecting your family Furthermore u stated y’all are over so his feelings outside of y’all child is irrelevant! Just co parent.
Relationship is about communication and compromise etc. Setting up cameras to see if he goes in the kitchen really!!? What he can’t make a sandwich while y’all are out? I could see if he didn’t want him in y’all bedroom but the kitchen is a bit extreme.

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Um yeah. Ditch the dude. He already said he isn’t going to change. He’s controlling and jealous.

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Hun I’m not being a smart butt but I would be like I am picking me and what I can handle first . . . So yes in the shortest way to prevent a even bigger fight I guess you are right I’m picking everyone else besides you right now because I have other important things to work out and walk away with a smile and breath Hun because he’s not treating you right I’m sorry

Looks like you have put 10yrs into an selfish idiot and he’s the one who needs to go, tell him to do you a favor and disappear 🫥 before you waste anymore of your life! Sounds like you have two children to raise the baby and his Dad! He’s very insecure :confused: and setting up cameras to spy on you not your brother! He’s gone let it stay that way and move on!

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Sounds like your babies dad (BD) is looking for a scapegoat for his own bad behavior. If your brother has gone out of his way to be helpful to you and BD still isn’t happy it’s because bro’s making him look bad. Your brother sounds like a good one so definitely keep him!! Kick BD down the road, especially if your relationship was already rocky. Good luck!

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You need to get out of that mess…

Your 19 year old working brother who pays bills can’t go get food in the kitchen he’s paying bills for??

What will this man do to your teen kids??

:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:MOVE ON NOW​:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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Crazy I would kick the baby daddy out to he crazy