He isn't on the BC, he told me he wanted to sign his right away and never have anything to do with my son.
So he finally reached out and I laid for the dna test. 99.999999 his
Fabulous. Without court I let him take him every other weekend. Starting off with Friday night and bring my son home Saturday cause Iâm still breastfeeding. Everythingâs going fine. He gets a letter from DOR heâs pissed. He says we can settle this without court. Weâll he has another child. Where heâs missed 6 months payment.
Anyways. I let him see our son anytime he wants. Fast forward to 6 months. I find out he took my son out of state without letting me know. Mind you he gives me no communication. At all. Not even when he took my son the first time. No call or text. I called his fiance and said hey yall could have let me know. And she was like. Okay goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
I called my lawyer and she told me to call the cops. I didnât.
Now Iâm not letting him see his son till we go to court
And hes badgering me what we are doing
Why he canât see his son. When I told.him till you respect me. And communicate with me. Than we can talk.
My lawyer wants me to wait till we have a hearing.
I just want to ask other moms. What would yall do. He doesnât give me any money. Doesnât offer diapers or wipes or clothes. I asked him for diapers and he said. And I quote âwell this is what your taking me to court for, I donât have to give you a dimeâ.
You seem like you wanna do whatâs good for your baby and itâs really nice of you for letting him be apart of babies life even after that horrible crap he said about dissolving his rights. But he definitely should have communicated with you! What if something happened to them and you had no effin idea where they were⊠donât bother replying to him if he canât even do the decent thing by communicating. He wants to be a parent but doesnât want the financial responsibility of one⊠take him to court for child support and a set schedule of when he can have the baby and make sure you put in a clause that says out of state trips are to be discussed prior or he doesnât get visitation. Good luck mama
Follow attorneyâs advice. They know the way it works. If heâs taken the child out of state, whatâs next? Donât interfere with the relationship (father/child), courts donât like that but you clearly have a valid reason to withhold visitation until the courts rule. Ask attorney if you can Offer phone calls with the child/father, video chats at specific times, for example, or if itâs possible for there to be supervised visitations until court date - just some ideas but please do as attorney advises.
It sounds like you are using your child to control the adult. Do you ask to take your child out of state? Do you tell his father of your travel plans? I get that it royally upset you. However, why are you actually mad? Was your child hurt? Did he return him late? You said you are breastfeeding, so when he goes with father are you sending pumped milk? Enough for the entire weekend? So the child wasnât hungry or mistreated. Youâre most likely mad because he didnât ask and get permission. The ârespectâ factor. As a parent I understand that, but your anger is misplaced in keeping the child from what seems to be a healthy relationship with involved dad. Despite a sibling, lack of child support etc. Youâre scared because he could have not brought your child back. So say that until a judge has a ruling with a custody/ visitation agreement that you can have enforced to ensure you know where your child is and with whom you have stopped visitation. Listen to your attorney, because unfortunately ârespectâ and âusing a child as a way to control the other parentâs actionsâ are two issues that will make you look like you are after control rather then fair and equitable visitation and co-parenting goals. A judge is likely to look down upon that; as neither issue is whatâs best for the child. Also, be aware that child support is a completely separate issue then visitation. One does not affect the other. File a child support case via the state and let them enforce the order.
For one I wouldnât let him see his son until after ur hearing. And as for diapers ect ask the court for him to pay child support, and I would go thru the child support agency if they grant you for him to pay it that way you can have them take it directly out of his paychecks. As for the out of state issue unfortunately even if the court grants him a couple days out of the week there is nothing you can do. If itâs his time he can go out of state as long as he is back and on time when itâs ur scheduled time (which sucks especially with Covid going on right now) but that is one thing you can tell the judge. Tell the judge that due to Covid and ur child being so young you are afraid of him contracting Covid when he goes out of state and that potential could give you Covid especially when you are not being notified that he had been out of state.
Heâs not on the birth certificate he has zero rights DNA test means nothing. Listen to your lawyer because the judge wonât take you seriously if you keep doing the opposite. Youâll probably end up with 50/50 where you get the child monday - Thursday then he gets Thursday-Sunday ⊠and on his time he wouldnât have to contact you unless itâs an emergency⊠if thereâs a certain way you want things to work out I would listen to the lawyer .
If he is not on the birth certificate and has not signed an acknowledgement of paternity I would not allow him to take the child unsupervised until you at least have a court date regarding temporary custody and visitation .
Sadly I have my sons father on child support and Iâll get a month here and there. Just because heâs on it doesnât mean you will get it. The system is so messed up
Child support and visitation are two separate issues. I would listen to your attorney but then again I have seen parents lose most in court when they deny visits. I understand there isnât a court order right now but it can always come back at you for being petty. Also with going out of stateâŠ.if there isnât a court order he can technically do what he wants on his time just like you can. Also be careful for what you ask for. If you wouldnât want a restriction placed on you for something donât ask it for him. If itâs fair for one parent it is fair game to the one asking for it.
Your lawyer is there to protect you, if you donât listen to what they are saying it will come back to bite you. Instant red flag whenever someone says âwe can do it without the courtâ.
I think u know the answer but are scared of how the father will react and the fact u think it will effect your kid ( if u are breast feeding then Iâm assuming young enough not to remember). Let the court handle it and until then he doesnât have the child, what if something happened and they were out of state ? Him not seeing how that was wrong is just raising red flags
After the hearing. You need strong communication about your child. Always. You need his utmost respect. Always. Follow advice of your attorney. Donât get into to any contest with his girlfriend. Say nothing. Your his protector and you give him his nutrition ad well as all other basic needs.
He definitely crossed a line and was disrespectful. He canât just take him out of state without asking you any mother or parent would be upset over that. Since he dosenât want to communicate and just do whatever he pleases without thinking of your rights then taking him to court and getting things in writing is absolutely necessary, Listen to your attorneyâs advice.
Go thru w court n let them deal w him! Let HIM tell THEM and the JUDGE he donât have to pay a dime!! Lol
He got a rude awakening coming!!!
Raise your boy honey and keep doing the right thing. I would let the courts decide on his visits in which HE has to petition the court n all. So let HIM get HIM his visitations and you will see thatâs a bother to him. Too much work, yada yadaâŠTOO much effort!
I feel he is too young to take being he is on breast milk still. I would have let him visit with myself being present. Until court papers implement visitation rights & child support. Luckily nothing bad happened but you could have set yourself up for a bad circumstance. I know your trying to be fair, but get court papers in place for safety for all. God Speedâ:pray:
He has no visitation rights⊠not married and werenât married for delivery⊠let the court take care of this. You tried, they will see that. Listen to your lawyer. If you still wanna let him see your son, Make it supervised until u goto court.
Do as your lawyer says. Heâs still little it sounds, so he wonât know that youâre keeping him from dad just yet⊠crappy situation but yeah. He needs to pay to help take care of him. He played the game, now he has to take his prize.
Your ex has made himself clear. He wonât pay you anything and will disobey the law whenever he wants. If you let this man take that child one more time, you should give up your child to foster care. Get a little backbone. Stop talking to him. Your child canât speak for themself, so you need to be the protector. This guy is bad news. The more you let him see his child, the less the court will be on your side. This has disaster written all over it. You didnât listen to youâre attorney and call police? If you arenât going to listen to your attorney them give up your child. Children need mama bears not wimpy momâs. Toughen up girl and listen to your lawyer! This guy is bad news. Save this child!
Use his words. âWell this is why Iâm taking you to court, I donât have to let you see him right now.â But thereâs no court order, so heâs basically SOL and even then you could possibly get supervised visits. Save all texts from him.
First, listen to your lawyer.
Second, no communication with him until after the court hearing.
Third, heâs not on the birth certificate so he was no rights. You tried to do good and let him see your baby but he made a bad decision when he went across state lines. You should have called the law when your attorney said. Also, it seems like heâs a douche. Just saying. Make sure you get every detail you want or donât want straight with your lawyer before going to court.
Honey, donât ask anyone anything but your lawyer, she has the legal help you need. It concern me that you didnât call the cops like she said to, that wonât help. Do exactly what your lawyer says & nothing else til court time is your best bet. If you need to, look into a restraining order. Be careful & the best of luck.
I would use the same answer he gave when heâs saying he wants to see your child⊠âthatâs what court is for.â I would avoid contact until court⊠you have every reason to. Best of luck mama!
Listen to your lawyer. You should also try to get it so that you two communicate through a parenting app like "talking parents " or something, that way if he gets bad and you need to use youâre communication in court those app communication are better than regular text. Whatever your parenting plan is strict to it, dont shuffle it around you or him. Because once you guys start changing it then it will be hard to get back to what the court agreement was.
At the end of the day, you have been advised by your lawyer what to do, and anytime he badgers you respond with, âsorry, my lawyer has advised x, y, zâ. To be fair though, if your ex isnât a flight risk with your child, and he visits another state whereâs the issue? Honestly, if my ex on his visitation weekend took the kids across the border, without letting me know, (heâs not a flight risk), and the kids came back and spilt the news, Iâd be like , âsweet! The kids get an awesome experience that I donât have to pay forâ.
LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER AND CUT OFF CONTACT UNTIL THE COURT ORDERS VISITATION. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING - date, time, phone calls, keep all text msgs/emails, etc. Along with a brief description of the conversation
Never, ever use your child as a weapon or punishment. That being said make it non negotiable that he has to step up n help you out financially. He can see your son but now there are restrictions such as in your presence
I would listen to your lawyer. You hired them for a reason, theyâre professionals and know how to best handle this. I recommend finding someone with a lot of experience in the field
Document, document, document. Listen to the advice of your attorney, follow the courtâs orders to the letter, do not contact him, and keep it off of social media.
Itâs a big no until he is court ordered. Make sure to tell the judge because of his age and also just be cause you guys are the parents you need communication and also communication if the take him out of state. He canât be trusted and since he canât be respectful just keep your child. Although he has no rights because obviously you were not married when the child was born. If he decided to not return the baby , he wonât have to because there is no court order specifying his visitation. There is alot of technicals when it comes to kids and visitation . So when you do have your day in court make sure to voice everything you want. It can be modified in the order.
Itâs always smart to listen to your lawyer. In my personal experience though, the judges Iâve seen have frowned upon willingly keeping a child away from the other parent. Thereâs things you could do. You could facilitate a visit with supervision at your place or a comfortable neutral space. You could still send pictures and have them video chat. Itâs really not fair to yank his parenting time no matter how disrespectful he is towards you. Hope things get worked out for yâall soon for the sake of that baby! He deserves both parents
The laws could vary depending on what state you live in but if you live in the state of Texas this is my understanding for your problem.
It doesnât matter that heâs not on the birth cert. you giving him parental responsibilities (i.e staying with him on the weekends and acknowledging that he is the father) still gives him parental rights. Therefore since he has parental rights he CAN take yalls son out of state. Since you all donât have anything established in courtâŠ. Heâs not technically doing anything wrong. You CAN call police of course (as anyone can) however, the issue is civil and police are not going to knock his door down and arrest him. The MOST they can do is document the situation and give you a call for service number you can reference back to court. But again, heâs not going to really be in any trouble.
Keep in mind, since you have given him parental rights your ex can keep your son for as long as he wants and you cannot file a missing persons report or a kidnapping report because you canât kidnap your own childâŠ.
But that also means you can withhold yâallâs son from him until there is court documentation put in place. My advice to you? Go to court. Itâs completely up to you if you decide to allow him to see your son until then but you run the risk of him finding out he technically doesnât have to give yâallâs son back and there will be no consequences for him.
Man I pay 1700 a month child support and given 4500 extra in last 10 months and paying for food and school stuff for kids. And yet i canât see my kids on a regular basis, more frequently then once a fought night and the kids really want mOre time with me. Not to mention the children cannot talk to me on snap chat without her present, follow them to room stand in door way. One child evem said i see mummy hiding out side the other sisters room listening amd interjecting and putting undue pressure on the children for 10 months nowâŠ
What can you do women have all the control regardless so they think⊠every one circumstances are different and that there is good and bad on both sides.
Less comms the better and keep it simple and to the point.
Definitely listen to your lawyer and call the police if needed. If nothing else just to make a report so that you have that as proof when you go for court
The money isnât as important as safety. Wait until you have court instructions. Then heâll have to obey them or be in contempt of court. Keep kids are.
If my babyâs father would have told me he didnât want anything to do with my baby and he wanted to sign his rights awsyâŠthat would have been the end of my communications with him. Pspers would have been sign.
go to court for custody or one day he wont bring him back i know it happen to my sister they said they would not look for him because no one had custody
Listen to your lawyer. Thats why you have one. When I was awarded full custody in the divorce I still let my ex see the kids off and on. I made him and his girlfriend sign a paper I wrote up giving them permission for out of state or overnight visits until court aince I represented myself. But I would tell him he could see him supervied. Because if hes not on the BC and there isnt custody established, he legally doesnt have any rights.
Listen to your lawyer. Do not let that man take your child again without supervision. I know how mich that sucks! Bit, at this point, do you really want your child to disappear?
Without a court hearing and a custody order. I wouldnât let the father see him. If he takes him you will have no recourse. Get into court and get a court order that you are the custodial parent.
With an attitude like that from the dad I would be waiting for court. Make sure you have everything documented and supported with evidence as much as possible. You are the only protection your son has so you need to tough but fair. Children are not trophies and yes they need stuff so if he isnât going to do some of the hard stuff why does he get the nice stuff. Been in your situation and I know itâs tough. You have to do everything in black and white⊠No in between.
Friendly neighborhood paralegal here: Listen to the lawyer. Call the police. Make the report. Have it documented. Record calls. Record any meetings (pick up & drop off). If heâs got a FB make sure you screen shot any posts regarding comments made about you. This isnât about being spiteful, this is about protecting your child. Donât engage in any arguments with him. Just let him run his mouth. Let the courts see how he behaves.
I donât have any advice to give, I too do verbal child share things with my kids dad and he sees him even less. If he is taking your child without your consent out of state or even anywhere, there is no respect in the verbal parenting plan and yes, I too in that case would wait until court.
You are denying a child access to his father⊠Unless he is a danger to the child stop being selfish and disrespecting your own child. The courts will deal with the money and communication issue. Try and be a good human and stop using your power to exercise control its your child you are hurting.
If you continue to stop access the judge should give his father custody and let you have access⊠How would that feel? So many women do this, fml
Listen to your lawyer because he can take off with your son and you would never find him. I wouldnât trust him at this point. Stand your ground Mama! And I would shoot for sole custody with supervised visitation till he gets his head out of his controlling ass.
Just donât let him have him til after the court makes a decision. Quit letting him choose how to be the father on his terms. Babies are expensive and you are being way too kind.
One get paper on him stating he can not take the children out of state.two put on paper how much is he giving for child support. If this dosent work file for custodial and listen to your lawyer. Best of luck.
As he has relinquished parental rights and doesnt pay support, cut him out of your sonâs life. You should have called the cops like your lawyer said. In effect he was kidnapping.
Listen to your lawyer. Just because he helped make that baby doesnât mean heâs ready to be a parent. Donât allow him opportunities to do something stupid. There is no road I wonât take to protect my children from anyone including their father. Also, you canât go to court asking for this and that and allowing something else to happen. I learned that from personal experience
Noooooo what till the hearing and be a damn advocate for your kidâŠfather isnât doing right with him no communicationâŠno diapersâŠDO not let you baby go with him. May not get him back âŠI wouldnât do overnights anyway until baby is older and can speak and is off the breast.
Until there is a court order he can straight up take him for as long as he wants wherever he wants⊠just went through this with 3. Hang in there momma youâre doing the right thing. Wait for a court order
You have to put your childâs safety & welfare first. Wait for the official court ruling, his previous actions show he canât be trusted at the least itâs thoughtless disrespect at the worst itâs kidnapping!
Not a mother here but quite frankly, unless you have better reasons than what youâve listed, youâre using your son and keeping him from his father as a way to get back at the man. Thatâs pretty disrespectful towards YOUR SON and you canât do that as a parent if you want that child to grow up to be better. Yes, take him to court and figure out custody and child support. Donât let that slide. But taking him out of state for a day? What does that matter? What did it matter that he wanted to be with his son? Yes, he probably should have told you but thatâs an issue of you guysâs communication. Not letting him see his son now is only harking the baby. If you were concerned he was going to take off in the night and flee the state with your son that would be a completely different story.
Take it from someone watching a little boy grow up without one of his parents right now because she doesnât want to be involved. At least appreciate that he wants to be there and see his son. Donât pressure the dude in to growing more distant and trying to dip out altogether. Deal with custody arrangements and child support through the courts, but donât use that baby as a pawn.
Why would you ask for HELP now since you wouldnât call the cops? You allowed this to happen. Now he has an instant family, A wife, and 2 kids. I hope you get your kid back, but this is a lesson learned!
Yikes this dude sounds like a horrible influence. Yes he needs to respect that you are the primary carer and he has chosen exactly not to be. He needs to notify you of where he is taking your child and return the child by whatever time youâve required. He should be willing to share what theyâre up to during the day. IF he canât do this then you need to go out with them or just say no
Heâs right, you gotta take him to court. Otherwise this wonât stop. Donât let him see your child or have anything to do with him until you see him in court.
Sounds like nothing happened to your son. You chose the father and he has rights. If itâs not in a custody agreement, then the cops canât do anything about him taking his own son anywhere. Coparenting isnât easy and both of you being petty will only make it worse for tour son. How about you pick your battles and do whatâs best for your son?
Do what your attorney says. Do not take the dadâs word for nothing! Get EVERYTHING in black & white thru the courts. If he wants to take him out of state for any reason he should notify you w/address & where or whoâs he going to see & or stay with. He needs to notify w/with in 24 hrs of deciding heâs going. The only thing that sucks if the dad doesnât go by the courts they know itâs going to cost you a ton of $$$ & not always but, in most cases the men make more money & knows its going to cost at least $3,000-$5,000 to retain your attorney again. It sucks! Good luck
Situations like this start off friendly and quickly go downhill. You need legal papers drawn up that document child support payments and a custody arrangement. Due to my ex-husbandâs not paying child support for a year, I ended up taking him back to court and his pay was garnished. My son is now a grown man and we survived!
To me (in totally different situation), if baby daddy canât act like an adult and keep the CHILDS best interest in heart which means communication, then no, for childs safety he does NOT get visitations outside the home that are supervised aka your home. Even if he isnât being a father to another child, but is to yours, I wouldnât hold that against him but again, visitations would be supervised in my home. Personally, Iâd listen to your lawyer. Wait until court when things are set in black and white and after everything is settled with court follow those rules. Many times parents do make it that neither parent can leave state without the others permission. I also know that many states do NOT just let you sign rights away just because you donât want the child. Typically, you have to get married, be married two years, then they have to sign their rights away to the husband and the husband then has to legally adopt them. Many women seem to think for some reason that paying money equals being a father. A man can pay child support all day long and still not be a father to his child. He can pay nothing at all be an amazing father to his child, money doesnât change that. As a single mother years ago, I learned that regardless of what my baby daddy did or didnât do, I was gonna make it and provide for my kids. Basically, thatâs probably what youâll have to do as well. Baby daddys arenât paychecks. If he is behind with the other kid, its likely heâll get behind with you and the state will book him and then he wonât have to pay while he is in there and if he isnât holding a job then obvs no taxes for them to garnish either. Pick and choose your battles. Iâd say stick to your guns on keeping him from baby until court and then just do what you gotta do.
Non support monetary for 6 months you can file for him to lose all his parental rights, this is in Ga. Tell your lawyer you want the fatherâs rights revoked.
Listen to your lawyer. Without a court document detailing who has physical custody and the obligations of each party regarding visitation, he could take your child and go live in another state and it would be difficult and expensive to get your child back.
First of all you did it all without involving the courtsâŠbigâŠhuge mistake. You cannot do anything about non payment or him taking him over state lines because thereâs no court order. You can call p.d but they will want that court order in hand and they will tell you itâs not kidnapping or anything unless thereâs a court order filed. Now that you went through that maybe itâs time to start something up with the courts and always have documentation of things. Texts, calls, or anything. But remember this is for the Childâs benefit. Donât be using the child (not saying you will) to hurt or anything because you hurt the child. At times it is difficult to be with someone like that follow what needs to be followed. But keep taking him to court every time he messes up. Until he learns that itâs about the child and not him and you.
From now on listen to ur lawyer and stand your ground! Also save and print out all the stupid texts regarding your son and give it to ur lawyer to present it to the judge.
Unless thereâs an order requiring a certain amount of notice for an out of state trip I donât see the problem⊠âOut of Stateâ sounds so dramatic but is it across the state of Texas to Louisiana orrrr like an hour drive from NH to Boston Mass?? Why did they go? To visit family? A Museum? Without giving any context, this just screams pettiness to me! Personally, I feel like itâs a problem if you canât somehow provide your own baby with diapersâŠ
I went through something similar. I wld avoid having your son leave your sight until thereâs a court order in place otherwise he doesnât legally have to hand him back to you.
If he is on the BC you can get âorderedâ child support. If they donât pay, it is garnished out of their paycheckâŠif you be so lucky you have one that actually worksâŠot their tax return, or they canât renew any licenses he may haveâŠor a number of things. There is no excuse for one parent to neglect their child monetarily! If you didnât go to court, go. Get paternity established and visitation clearly written out. (A parent may never just elect to âsign offâ their rights if their name is on the BC or if at the time you had baby, you were married to him. ( Even if you both green and baby comes out purpleâŠdefinitely NOT yours) if you married to the mom at the time of conception up till birthâŠyou the legal daddy! (Unless you were in a LEGAL SEPARATION during that time.) Courts want someone to take care of baby. Only way you can become âirresponsibleâ is if the other party remarries or marries and the new spouse wants to adopt and legally sign to be the new responsible party. Do it legal in courtâŠlots of things people donât know.
