Listen to your lawyer. Without a court order saying he can’t take him out of state he can. Write down everything you want in that document. When visits take place, pick up, drop times. If he skips visit he forfeits, can’t leave the county/state/so many miles, etc. Sit with your lawyer & see how much of your requests he can get for you. Make all expectations clear.
4 Likes
Keep your child away from him. Make him grow up. Let him know that he’s not the boss. He doesn’t provide for his child.
3 Likes
Document everything is my only advice.
3 Likes
Do not let him take the child!!! I repeat do not let him take the child!! My dad did this to my sister and I when we were 11 & 12 and my mom had to fight for us through custody for 2 years. It was the most miserable time of my life!! Become the domicile parent and get custody arrangements. Not everyone deserves to not have to deal with court. And he definitely deserves to deal with court pulling that stunt.
5 Likes
Yea it sucks when that happens don’t it. Now will u be paying him child support for the next 6 months or till the court hearing. Better lawyer up. I feel bad for you as a person. But women have been u doing this for years. Smart move o his part. I hope it works out for you. If I’m you I’m pushing that out of state issue big time. Especially with the age.bc no matter what a women is gonna be better at that age.and if u get full custody back your gonna have to make him pay for a lil. Cause he did it once he’ll do it again
3 Likes
No visits bc safety and communication
Establish child support in court.
4 Likes
Child support and visitation is two different things. U keeping the child from him does not look good on your part
9 Likes
Just Wow, how can any parent feel they have more rights to a child than the other it takes 2 a Mother and a Father…but No lets make it about me me me .I’m the boss I’m better , I need that $$$. BS your only hurting the child … grow up work together For the GOOD OF THE CHILD… all of ya’alls negative comments to my comment, Just Don’t, I’ve been there done that and it’s all about the best for the kids they’ll be much better adults…
13 Likes
At least he wants to see his child.
3 Likes
Man some of these comments are wild you don’t control him so your using your child to do so that my dear is so sad and not to mention what’s wrong with family court you said you have a lawyer and still don’t follow advice you paid for I understand there’s no custody order but this sounds like a definite mediation appointment and if your bd is so bad it didn’t happen overnight just saying
3 Likes
I have a question , do you havr FULL CUSTODY as in through the courts you have PHYSICAL AND PRIMARY CUSTODY? Not just bring the baby home with you and a birth certificate. If you don’t than your lawyer has no clue what they are talking about. You can call the cops all day long. Nothing you can do about it
3 Likes
My sons dad complained about this with me to the judge. Judge told him to suck it up. My time is my time and if he gets my son on his times wtf is the issue
He brought the child back with no issues. So what’s the problem?
2 Likes
How old is your son?? How did he take him out of state if you are breastfeeding? I wouldn’t allow anything until it’s agreed in court.
2 Likes
You are punishing your son for his actions. In my opinion. He should still he able to see his father with or without child support. You are denying him a father due to issues that are not the child’s fault.
4 Likes
Honestly, it sounds like you and your child would be better off cutting ties as soon as possible.
Here’s the thing even with a court order he wouldn’t have to tell you if they went out of state or out of town as long as he gave your son back at the same time he’s suppose to. Also he doesn’t have to pay anything or buy anything unless he’s court ordered. Also big advice here never let the other parent take the child without a court order cause some parents are jerks n will withhold the child until a court order says otherwise and cops won’t do squat cause they consider it a civil matter n will tell u to go to court. Now with that being said since he’s not on birth certificate he doesn’t have any rights and doesn’t have to do squat for your child sad to say. He’s only involved now because he has a fiancé just letting you know n wants to act like the father of the year n when u withhold the child he plays as the victim n u the villain. U gotta b 3 steps forward with men like your ex at all x.
6 Likes
Is his father a danger? Does he take care of your son while in his care? These kids need parents, not courts. I would work as hard as I could to mediate and co-parent, and that means trusting the other parent to make decisions as well as you are. If you are letting him in your child’s life, then let him be
4 Likes
So because he did something you didn’t like now he isn’t on the BC, he doesn’t help blah blah blah! He is ok to be a dad when he follows your rules but once it’s not how you like, you take his time away. I can’t even begin to imagine being a father in this world. What second class citizens some females make their children’s fathers. He is correct he doesn’t have to give you anything until court orders or just like you don’t have to give him time. Both of you are using a child as a weapon. Gross 
9 Likes
Listen to your lawyer. If he takes him he legally dont have to give him back. I would wait till first court hearing. Judge will grant temporary custody until the actual court date…
3 Likes
If you don’t have a court order he can take your child and not return him until you get a court order. If you want to take that chance, it’s your call.
3 Likes
All I seen was “ME ME ME” 
2 Likes
Just because he made him, doesn’t mean he’s entitled to be in his life ! 
Sometimes shit happens and you have a baby with a piece of crap, why bother with the drama, rather ignore and move on?
He does nothing for him financially also, so why do what HE wants?
Your his mama! Be the voice for your baby!
Listen to your lawyer, that’s why they are there
I’d be absolutely livid. No unsupervised visitation until court. Bet anything his family told him to do that.
1 Like
Please listen to your lawyer.
4 Likes
Listen to your lawyer…. Not Facebook.
9 Likes
Is his name on birth certificate? U have to file sole custody
2 Likes
Get a lawyer. Go to court. Screenshot everthing.
1 Like
I don’t understand what the issue is at all. He takes care of him & spends time with him. Does he buy him diapers/wipes whatever he needs for when he’s with him ? Because then that’s fine. He’s his father, not an uncle or friend. He has the same rights as you.
7 Likes
LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER. Not FB, not family or friends. Listen to your lawyer. Period.
5 Likes
I would absolutely, without question - follow the advice of my attorney. I respect all the women here, but I wouldn’t bank on my child’s well being based upon any recommendations from strangers on the internet.
22 Likes
Listen to your attorney
1 Like
I would follow the advice of your lawyer and wait.
1 Like
As a divorced woman with 2 children, listen to your lawyer.
Listen to your lawyer.
Listen to your lawyer.
Please, listen to your lawyer.
If he continues to text/call, badgering you, screenshot all of it. Print it out and take it to court with you. Document EVERYTHING.
My ex husband and his now ex wife put myself and my babies through HELL. Listen to your lawyer. Document everything. Every lack of communication in the past. Every detail.
If he calls to video call with his son though, I personally would allow that just to show the dad that you’re trying to work with him, but hes gotta meet you half way.
Good luck to you momma, and again listen to your lawyer 
4 Likes
So my advice; get an attorney and go to court. Let him have visitation. Let him throw a fit over CS. Have it drawn up in the custody agreement outlining visitation and have request it be ordered that if he wishes to cross state lines with the child X amount of notice needs to be given prior to the trip so as long as the parties agree.
Coming from someone with 2 daughters with different fathers; I WISH they would take the initiative to visit. One is in another state and there’s almost zero communication, the other has legal and personal matters that have to be handled before he’s able to see our daughter.
I don’t want their money; I couldn’t care less about it; the state has ordered them to pay it. I just want my children to have happy, healthy fathers in their lives that can help raise them. But that’s not happened. Consider yourself lucky that he even wants to see the child. Nevermind all this “me me me”….I know it’s hard to get past; but there’s no “me” anymore….it “WE” and what’s in the best interest of the child. If he has never put the child in danger, isn’t on drugs, or abusing the child there shouldn’t be any reason why he cannot see the child and be a parent. You’re depriving him of parental rights. It’s a double edge sword that could work in your favor, or grossly in the opposite direction.
3 Likes
Don’t speak to him until court except through the lawyers. So there can be no “he said” “she said” and word twisting.
I had to do this exact same thing 8 years ago when my son was 4. It was hard, but, it’s what’s best.
1 Like
Until court happens 1 dont hurt the child allow him or her to see the father y’all can meet at the park on the weekend and he can play and have a visit until a custody order is in place. 2 If your pissed he just wants to see the child and not “support” it. Well you picked the wrong baby daddy and that’s your fault. If you want the money go for it but don’t bitch cause it ain’t there cause your trying to be the “nice guy”
Do you seriously have to ask about this? Girl, grow a back bone!! I wouldnt let him see the kid, period.
2 Likes
As long as your child is not being harmed or kept on your time. Then it’s absolutely none of your business what said father does with his child on HIS time. Don’t ruin your childs life over being a control freak. You both made the child you both have equal say to raise that child. Who cares what he said in the past, if hes around and in the childs life and trying, seriously what’s your problem? Sounds as if you don’t want him in your childs life, or is it yours? Worry about what your doing to make sure your child is happy and loved.
7 Likes
I legit hate mom group Facebook. You women don’t know the situation. Stop shaming her. Yall sound like the moms that send kids on visitation with the methed out daddy because “these kids need their parent”
7 Likes
Why retain an attorney and not follow his/her advice? Clearly the child’s father and his fiancé don’t respect you. You’re taking him to court for support? Cool. We’re also going to court to set up parenting time. It works both ways boo boo 
He sounds like a little bitch just saying
Consult your lawyer… Do what they say… some people on here is nothing but wanna be FB lawyers…giving out the wrong advice…
2 Likes
So when I started reading this I thought it was going to be that dad took him out of the state and was denying her custody. This sounds like a day/weekend trip. While it would be the nice and respectful thing to do to tell you what he does on his time he’s not obligated. Denying him visitation may backfire on you in court. This could definitely be seen as parental alienation.
8 Likes
Better if the parents work out a schedule and not bicker. Mom should respect dad has equal rights with child.
Go for full custody, SUPERVISED visits at your home onlyif you cannot find a supervisor to sit in with you, during his visit, then you can waive the visit, to the next planned visit, he’s on your watch, not his, he cannot be under any alcohol or drug influence during visit, if he backs out of a planned visit, absolutely no excuses from him will be subject to the next visit being cancelled by you, make sure to have the (your lawyer) stipulate all your conditions on court papers, of course go for financial support, if he misses a payment, no seeing the child until he mans up financially, do not let him get joint custody
2 Likes
Listen to your lawyer.
I think it really depends on the judge you get. Some judges may look at it as a bad thing you are keeping the child away from the father but another judge may not. Can you get a temporary decree put into place until you have court? I agree he should have told you about going out of town and always have open communication with you. Make sure to put that in the decree. Also once the decree is set. Make sure to stick strictly to it. It will help with stability for your little one and it will help ease the stress of communication.
PLEASE LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER. Some of these people will take the child and run when there is no court ordered parenting plan. Do not take that chance!
1 Like
He is not just YOUR son. He is also his son. why does he need your permission to take his child any where?
4 Likes
You’re dumb as hell for ignoring your lawyer.
Listen to the lawyer. Don’t give the child to him until you go to court. He already kidnapped the child once. He might not bring them back next time
1 Like
Stop communicating with him. Tell him at the advice of your attorney your not going to let him see his son until there is a court order in place to protect your child and yourselves that no visits will be happening
If my child was young enough to still be in diapers(assuming they are not special needs) then I personally would not let my child go with someone that is not consistent or trustworthy. He has shown he has no respect for you so I would keep that in mind going forward and definitely listen to the attorney. That way if anything goes wrong you can blame the attorney instead of yourself.
1 Like
First of all that’s the father. You don’t “let him” see his child. That’s his right.
I agree that he shouldn’t be travelling that far without letting you know and he should be contributing to his child’s life.
Go to court. Get mandated child support and has his child on a set schedule. It’s best for the child to have routine.
7 Likes
Follow the lawyers advice. Idk you are asking a bunch of non experts when you are paying a professional
2 Likes
I know it is hard, but LET him BE A DAD! I don’t know the exact person type of person he is but if he is decent then just let him be a dad. “State lines” as in crossing for a one time event or for a long period of time? Just don’t be petty. If he’s trying to be a dad, let him take him wherever and be a dad.
1 Like
Oh he ABSOLUTELY DOES have to give you a dime and the court will make him! Gawd, some fucking men and their fucking part time parenting bullshit….like they’re all that. Losers.
1000% parental alienation. The judge will see that you’re keeping him from his parenting time and it will be frowned upon. After a court order is established, you won’t be able to keep him from his child for any reason at all. He doesn’t need your permission to take the kid anywhere as long as it’s on his time. However. He needs to communicate with you within reason. Co-parenting is extremely important. I understand he’s being an ass but you took the kid from him out of spite, at least that’s how it seems to me. I mean why else would a mother take the kid away from dad? These are the exact situations that are causing fathers to band together and put an end to fathers not being treated at equals to mothers. I mean, y’all both laid down, right?
You have a lawyer for a reason follow his/her advice. Document everything in the meantime. Only communicate with the father through text or email so you have proof of everything that is said.
U stupid stupid woman.
2 Likes
He does nothing for the support and care, he and his fiance enjoy baby, but can’t communicate with the babys mom? Hes not respecting the agreement set in place, your attorney told you to call the cops…baby daddy doesn’t sound stable or consistent…he will be vanished by the time his baby is in kindergarten. He doesn’t pay child support for 2 kids and travels with a fiance out of state, contempt, so he has a good thing and plays with babies and women…nah, take this to the matt or he will continue to never be held accountable for his actions and he will continue to play with you too. Let the judge decide,
3 Likes
Listen to your lawyer, they know what is best for you in this situation.
Wait till court and sort it out
No court order for visitation, no seeing your kids 
he’s not even on the birth certificate.
Next time he takes him out of state, if you choose to let him visit, call the cops. It’s considered kidnapping. He has no legal right to your child if he’s not on the BC as the father.
1 Like
Listen to your lawyer
One listen to your lawyer that’s why you pay for them and have them. 2. It sounds like you were being fair and tried to do it outside of court but I’d of court but he wasn’t being respectful of what you asked so now you’ve gone and included the courts so I would just ignore him listen to your lawyer and wait for the hearing for the hearing and have the judge decide what to do. But at this point I would not let him see the baby especially if your lawyer advises against it.
1 Like
It’s over and done with. What harm did it do? Did your kid get hurt? Did it affect you? Your kid? No. Let it go.
5 Likes
He isn’t on the birth certificate so he has literally no rights and has nothing to sign away. Call the cops and report your son kidnapped by the “dad”.
2 Likes
Listen. To. Your. Lawyer.
1 Like
Stick with your lawyer and do it through the courts bc he sounds a bit irritated at the moment and if you allow him to take your child he may not bring them back and run - stay clear of him and keep all communication you have with him for the court proceedings - any threats of any kind - don’t play around with your child’s well being. You tried to give it a shot and HE messed that up now do it through the courts - without a doubt he won’t want a lot to do with the child afterwards bc of restrictions of visitation, child support, etc. as he said why should he give you dime that’s what you are taking him to court for - he liked it when there was no rules to follow now he shows his true colors. Good luck with the hearing and stay clear of him until then.
1 Like
Well he’s right and at least he’s trying to be there. You’re not together. It seems like he is trying to have his child more often, to the point where he can provide for your child separately and you should be able to provide for yours. Although, I do agree that if you do truly need help supplying diapers here and there he should be willing. I also feel you should both be adults about this, sot down and talk, calmly and rationally.
6 Likes
I would listen to the attorney at this point or if you want have supervised visits only for a few hours at a time until court decides
1 Like
Do not deny access, even offer supervised visits. Go to court
1 Like
Girl wait because he can take him and do the same thing! I learned this the hard way!!
If you’re represented by counsel you shouldn’t be communicating directly to begin with. Any communication should be through your attorney to him if he’s Pro Se or if he’s represented by an attorney. I learned that representing myself. I was so happy I didn’t have to talk to him directly.
2 Likes
Report him for kid napping
1 Like
You’ve received legal advice … follow it!!
6 Likes
Do what your lawyer says FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD. No unnecessary communication with him.
2 Likes
You’re doing the right things. Wait till court. Stay strong.
1 Like
You did the right thing by getting a lawyer but you should listen to said lawyer. You also need to know the law in your state because in most states it’s against the law to withhold visitation because they haven’t given you money. Respecting you would be awesome for coparenting, but it goes both ways. Do you inform him when you go on weekend trips and take him out of state? … you need to listen to your lawyer, but remember he has the same rights to that child as you do and if he is fighting for his rights, is he a bad father or a bad ex?
1 Like
He’s trying to be a part of this child’s life. Forget the dumb stuff….what matters is your child’s relationship with his/her father. Have you taken the child out of the state without his permission? Regardless of whether he’s on the BC or not, that’s his child. While I don’t agree with his views on support, I still feel holding the child away from him bc you feel disrespected is childish and petty.
15 Likes
LISTEN TO YOUR LAWYER! Wow, some of Y’all must be saints. Father or not. You will be communicating where my child is, especially if you wanna take him outta state.
You should have called the police when you were told to.
Listen to your lawyer!!! Not People on the internet.
13 Likes
and I would say then I don’t have to let you see him
1 Like
Listen to your attorney
1 Like
Listen to your lawer, if not why even hire one? This is their job they know what they are doing and are telling you to do everything thats in your and your child’s best interest.
3 Likes
Stick with your lawyer. Lucky your that nice. I be done block his number and that that. I would of called the cops.
1 Like
It seems that you guys are already off to a bad start. They don’t have great communication clearly. You need to be in the know always because you’re the parent visa versa. If it were me and I had this type of communication I’d get a court agreement going. My oldest daughters bio mom took her out of state…her dad called the cops. It’s considered kidnapping. Never is it ok to not have communication as to where your children are staying EVERY! SINGLE! DAY! period!!! Adults need to act like adults. So yeah the father brought it upon himself. I wouldn’t say anything till court. They will use anything and everything against you.
1 Like
Listen to your lawyer 
dont be scared lol your ex is a douche
Why are you paying a lawyer if you are going to disregard his advice and ask fb. Seriously!?
6 Likes
If anyone had my baby and I got a text that said that I’d be really upset. Super immature. Anyways your post makes me upset for you. I hope it all gets worked out
Bunch of bitter as* females on this thread. I not one time asked to take my kids to a state that is 30 minutes away. Get off your high horse and quit being bitter. Let him be a dad. Not alot of children get this. If he picks up and returns the child at the scheduled time, there’s no problem. You’re mad he doesn’t supply diapers? What would you do if he died? Go after his family? Get over yourself. 🤦💅
5 Likes
Listen to your lawyer. Should’ve called the cops when she said
4 Likes
Do not let him have your baby til the judge says you have to.
1 Like
Without a court order he could end up taking him and keeping him and you wouldnt get him back until a court order. If he shows up. Ive seen it happen too many times. Do what your lawyer says.
10 Likes
Have him arrested for kidnapping.
1 Like
Hate to break it to you, he doesn’t have to respect or communicate anything other than what he’s legally required to do. You should probably go to court and get a legal custody agreement, and file for child support and hope he pays.
2 Likes
Call the police. You are in a he said/she said. The police would have documented everything. Pretty sure your lawyer told you that.
I think your being a little bit over the top and petty, if you didn’t set boundaries then their isn’t any. Just because you don’t like something o well. He’s the parent to. If he provides for his child why in his care he doesn’t need to help you. The judge will look at you as being petty. In the end he’s going to get 50/50 no matter how good the lawyer is
1 Like
That’s your answer. Nothing until your court date. Documentation will be good from now on.
6 Likes