My childs father wants to sign his rights over: Advice?

He said he is signing over his rights and wants nothing to do with the baby. I’m 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby. What do I do

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Do not put him on the birth certificate. Let him walk away. You can’t force someone to be a parent if they don’t want to be. :heart: You’ve got this.

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Let him walk away. I promise you don’t want to have the baby and then years go by and he fights you for custody. Either he does it now so it’s easier or never. Let him sign his rights away. His loss. Don’t beg someone to be in your child’s life. One day someone will come along and want nothing more than to adopt that sweet baby and have a family with you. I wish I learned this years ago. It’s harder on the child when they come and go and then they’re old enough to know what’s going on and then they feel rejected and unwanted by the other parent.

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I just wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate. You can’t force him to be a parent or pay for his kid so it’s best to save yourself a headache.

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Well. Depends. If you let him sign his rights away, he won’t be required to pay child support. On the other hand, you could potentially have to allow someone like that to have visitation later down the road if he changes his mind. So I guess it depends on if you’re pressed to have him help financially and if you’re willing to have him around your child. I personally wouldn’t try to force him to be involved though. If he doesn’t care, your child will pick up on that.

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Let him. Raise your child on your own without that toxicity. It will be okay. You don’t need him. It will be hard, but worth it. I can say from experience, as I am the only parent to my almost 6 year old.

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Let him sign them away. If he already wants to now that means he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. He will not be there for it.

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Let him. It’ll hurt your kid more to have a parent that resents them than just not knowing them. I know it’s scary to think about doing it alone, but just remember it will be okay. You and that baby will be okay :heart:

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I did this with my first daughter and she turned out to be such a beautiful girl she’s happily married now four children very happy all her children grew up to be high school graduates careers of their own he cried eventually to get in touch with her and she told me not to so I didn’t and she’s very very happy the best choice he could have ever said was he didn’t want to be in her life mama raised her and she couldn’t have been a better person

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Rights have to be established before he can sign them away. Just don’t let him sign the birth certificate and never contact him again. His choice to not be a parent.

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It’s not that easy. Are you on state insurance?? If so even harder. They will not let him sign off unless you have a man willing to adopt.

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If the relationship is irreconcilable, and he wouldn’t be a good coparent, then respect his right to choose. Make his choice final, don’t give him the easy out of just not putting his name on the birth certificate. Let him formally give up all rights to the child.

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I’m Pretty sure you’d have to say you don’t know who the dad is to not have a father on the birth certificate. If he won’t sign it it’ll go court and he can request a DNA test. Then the judge with put him on it and say how much support he has to pay. Can’t make him take custody, visitation etc. you can make him pay support. They garnish wages, tax returns etc. suspend his license or arrest him even if he doesn’t want any long enough.

If he’s serious, let him. It will actually make things easier for you to have that door closed. It’s hard dealing with someone that doesn’t want to be involved and it doesn’t always work out the way you hope.

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That’s just so sad.
Keep copies of his request for this. You may want to show your child one day.
You can do this! Surround yourself with supportive friends, family and community. Best of luck hunn.:sparkling_heart:

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to moms responding - I have a question for those who are saying ‘just don’t put him on the birth certificate’.
What if later he comes (spiteful) and wants to petition and gets a blood test proving he’s the father etc (w/ no GENUINE plans to take/take care of the child)?
So wouldn’t it be best to let him sign them over to avoid future issues or legal problems with someone who clearly doesn’t/wont be a parent.

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Make him do it legally. You are blessed with this baby. This baby has a purpose. Love and care for the baby. God chose you to be his/her mother. Because you are caring.

Don’t put him on birth certificate at all. Leave fathers name blank. Best thing to do with little drama. Trust me!!

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Parental rights need to be established, which is typically done by signing the birth certificate. If that hasn’t even been signed, then he doesn’t have any rights to sign over. Personally, I wouldn’t even put him on the birth certificate. He won’t have to pay child support but is it even worth it knowing that he wants nothing to do with your child? If he does pay child support he legally has the right to see that child. If my child’s father EVER told me that he wanted to sign his rights over, I would relinquish him of all responsibility and he would NEVER be allowed access to her life. Which would be too bad for him because she is perfect. That’s just what I would do but I also understand that it is so hard to financially care for a child, especially being a single mother.

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Let him! Wouldn’t want someone around that doesn’t want to be…someone who has something to him will come into you & your baby’s life soon and appreciate what he has!

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He can sign his rights over but still has to pay child support if he’s the father

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Im not sure if its different state to state but i tried to get my oldest sons bio dad to sign his rights away and was told by the court that unless there was someone willing to “take the rights” (if i was married or in a serious relationship with someone who would legally become the parent) it was not possible.

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Thank him for showing you who he is and move on with your life.

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Let him sign away all his rights that way when you find a good man shouldn’t be any issues

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My grandsons girlfriend was pregnant when they got together,the bio father signed his rights away, my grandson has his name on the birth certificate, you couldn’t ask for a better dad, my great grandson is now 4 ,and he thinks the sun rises and sets in my grandsons ass,and the same goes for my grandson. They have so much love for each other,if you didn’t know you would think he came out of my grandsons ass.

It’s better he’s upfront now than years of broken promises to your child or just plainly abandoning them. Let him. It’s his loss. :heart:

I wouldn’t want my child exposed to a man like that. So protect your child from that kind of character.

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Eh… I’d put him as the father and file for child support. You technically have to agree to terminate his rights. Even then it’s up to a judge. Leave the door open for him to have a relationship with his child if he changes his mind.

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If a man wants to sign his rights over, he should be able to… she could opt for adoption if she does not want to take care of the child alone

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Let him it’s pretty simple and it’ll make the rest of your life so much easier.

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Child support and parenting time do not go hand and hand. Let him sign away his rights, but I would not release him his child support obligations. Even if you don’t feel you would need his money - it could always be set back for college etc.

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He can’t just sign his rights away anymore. They don’t allow it.

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In state of WV even if they the father signs over his rights they are still required to pay child support for the child or children, the only way they don’t have to pay is if someone like a boyfriend or husband steps in an adopts the child or children…check with your state about it…I myself would let him sign them over even if not getting child support cause if he doesn’t want own child now I’d be scared to let him be alone with the child…you can get assistance, food,rent,housing, daycare, even schooling for you,from the state an you can also work n hopefully you have a family that can help also if need be with the baby

Let him! I know it’s upsetting thinking about doing it alone or baby not having a father. But you can’t force him to be a father and if he doesn’t want to at least he is doing it now before the baby is born instead of after. I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is. But you be all you can be for the baby!

I would check in with your state on the whole birth certificate comments.

In WI, the birth certificate has NOTHING to do with paternity or parental responsibility. Same in SD. My dad isn’t on my birth certificate, and he was still mandated to pay child support, etc.

Your gunna best off checking in with some attorneys in your area for a consult to make sure whatever you decide is in the best interest for not only your little one but for you as well.

If you don’t put his name on the BC then he can just walk away. States like Texas don’t allow parents to give up rights unless there is another person willing to step in their place and provide for the child. No need to pay an attorney or let a judge tell you that man will get the child 50/50! Tell him you’re good with that and change your number, change your last name and move away where he can never find you, or tell him the baby isn’t his.
Otherwise, he’ll appear on your doorstep 5 years from now and demand custody and get it handed to him in court. Happens way too many times. Judges simply do not care about anything other than two parents being in the lives of the child. Some people just aren’t cut out to be good parents. He sounds like one of them. Best of luck.

Signing rights away takes away financial responsibility. I have a friend that has her custody agreement setup that he has no visitation rights but still pays support.

Let him go. Not worth it in the end for someone who doesn’t want a kid/ to parent.

I should of done that with mine daughters daughter father. Would of saved me a lot of time, stress, and money

In oklahoma even if he signs his rights away he has to pay child support until someone adopts the child and he has no rights after he signs.

Do not put him on birth certificate. However if you ever sign up for government assistance (depending on your location) you will have to disclose his information so they can charge him child support so you can get their services. In that case save ANY and all texts stating he wants rights terminated. However, be mindful that typically states are very reluctant to terminate a parent’s rights period, especially if there is no other person to step into absent parent’s role.

A judge may not allow it. My daughters dad wanted the same thing and it was denied…

Let him do it.

Please just let him go.

You are given the blessing post trauma abused women literally die for.

He can’t just sign off his rights. It doesn’t work that way. He’s probably trying to stress you out.

If you don’t want him involved & don’t need child support don’t list him as the father. The hospital may harass you for his name. Just don’t give it to them.

If you want him involved you need to rethink it. How do you think he’s going to treat a child he doesn’t want?

If you’re on public assistance or need the child support the courts will make him be responsible.

Keep texts, messages of him saying he wants nothing to do with baby. Get it in his handwriting if you can. “I’ve been talking to a lawyer. We can get your rights terminated if you put it in writing.” That way if he tries to go after you later crying in court “she won’t let me see my kid.” “She never told me s/he was born.” Etc. You have it in his words that he doesn’t want to be involved. Keep it & if baby ever meets him & he tells him/her you kept them from him you have proof to show baby who is lying.

Focus on being the best mom you can be. Don’t worry about him. Dont listen to those who tell you baby needs their father. That’s not always the case. This is 1 of those cases. Be strong.

You didn’t make this baby by yourself obviously protection wasn’t thought of but he still should be responsible he’s an adult and he should at least pay child support he doesn’t have to be involved he doesn’t have to have visitation but there’s no reason why you should have to totally foot the burden of the financial responsibilities men should think about the consequences of not using protection why are we the ones that have to worry about it all the time

He probably wants to do it to avoid paying child support. However, I was told many years ago that just because you sign your rights away doesn’t mean you won’t have to pay child support. That was California though might be different where you live.

Cut ur loses you got this. Id rather not have a baby daddy j fight with mine to much and we don’t parent the same. Causing problems for the kids

Let him walk away its his choice you cn raise the baby urself i raised 4 on my own 4 13yrs its nt easy bt it worked

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Count this as a blessing and let him do it!

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He’s not going to do it. A lot of men say that then once they baby is born they want it , usually when they say this , they’re going to be a headache. Don’t even let him sign the birth certificate. Let him be.

Good.take it n move away.hope you have a stable income 2support u n baby. Make sure you do so wisely.maune he’s not wanting 2support baby or leave anything 4baby days why. Maybe he has another family without your knowledge. You can get law involved. Get the full custody but he still have 2pay maintenance 4baby.

Let him sign away his rights and never look back OR put his butt on child support and ask for visitation to be restricted

Let him walk away. You’re doing your child a favor, even though it may not feel like it. Hugs :hugs:

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Like everyone else said, don’t add him to the birth certificate and just treat him as a sperm donor. Believe me, you don’t want to fight with a father that doesn’t want to be a father, it isn’t worth the heartache for you and your child.

Let him sign! He’ll have to pay support anyway

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He STILL has to pay child support.

Accept it. There’s not much you can do. It’s probably a good thing to do now instead of hurting a child later on.

you let him sign over the rights so he can’t come back later and want to play daddy!! You don’t need him if he don’t want his child

Let him do it. He is going to miss out & he don’t deserve that precious baby anyway.

He cant , there must be someone to be responsible that can take over . It wont get past a judge .

Depends is he only doing it not to pay for child? If so I would make him pay if you can do it on your own then I would let him I was mom and dad for many years and my girls knows who would do anything for them ME

Just walk away avoid the headache if the pos doesn’t want to be involved it’ll be more of a headache trying to force him

Let him sign them away so he can’t come back later and change his mind.

I’m split on this. I’m thinking medical and dental insurance. Fees/registration for all recreational activities, school supplies. College. It all adds up and any assistance you get from child support will help offset the expenses.

Get him out of your life. You have a baby coming into your life. Treasure the little one.

As much as it hurts, let him.

Let him u and your baby are clearly better off without him

have to establish paternity first , and depending on your state, have to go court. Contact a lawyer and dont put him on the birth certificate

Talk to an attorney and let him advise you.

Allow him to sign his rights over… it really is that simple.

Just let him. It’s his loss

Don’t put him on the birth certificate for starters. Not sure what state you are in, but depending on the state laws determines different aspects.

Let him. Please. Just let him go.

Raising kids is hard and expensive. But I would rather raise my child alone then have someone who wont accept and love my child. I prayed for good support around. You got this. I think it’s better for you and your child. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sending hugs and prayers your way

Let him!!! He’ll still be held financially responsible, but you won’t have all the headache of having him there. Yes, it will be hard doing it as a single parent, but it would be regardless if he signs them over or not. It would probably mess up the kid forcing him to be a dad. And you won’t have to worry about things like getting your child a passport, traveling outside the country or moving.

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My kids are 24/15 both will tell u there dad is dead …. Been dead beat all there lives I have sole custody he has no visitation can’t call them write nor come with thin 1000 feet of my kids

It doesn’t just work that way , or so many men would and wouldn’t have to pay child support.

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Let him…you’ll be glad you did. Move on. The baby will be better off if this is how he’s going to act. Save your child of the disappointment, broken promises and heart break.

Everyone saying just let him sign, which I totally understand, but you can’t just sign your rights away without having another man there to adopt. He can choose to not be in the child’s life but he’s still on the hook for that child support. And you have to name the father if you want state insurance.

Just don’t put his name on the birth certificate. If he doesn’t want the baby, don’t worry about making him be a part of your lives

Let him. He has every right just like women do.

Tell him to pound sand and sue him for child support

It depends, if you’re able to do this on your own, let him do it! Food riddance. But if you’ll struggle financially and the child will suffer due to it, nope. Child support for him. I hate that so many men think it’s perfectly acceptable to walk away from their responsibility of parenting. You both made that child, so you both should have to foot the bill. These minions aren’t cheap. Lol

If he hasn’t signed a birth certificate , stating he is legal father he has no rights anyway,. Don’t put his name anywhere on the birth certificate . Let the loser go. The only way he can prove child is his through paternity test, hes not showing any signs or interest thatt he would ever do this , let the loser take a hike his loss .

Well, if you’re still pregnant he doesn’t have to be put on the birth certificate. If you want him to have to pay for the child then as soon as the baby is born petition the court for a paternity test, or give his name as the father to child support

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I didn’t put my Daughter dad on birth certificate because the hospital wouldn’t let me because he wasn’t there to sign it…so after a week or two I put his ass on child support,….he can give up his rights when you meet a new man who is willing to be the father of your child

Let him… trying to force someone into being a parent is like trying to force toothpaste back into the tube. Have your baby and love em enough for both parents

I’d tell him please do and never look back.
You don’t want that in your life or your little ones.

Let him. Good riddance. Fuck that guy your baby deserves better

Let him and move on and find yourself someone that will love you and your child you can do this yourself too! Don’t force a shit parent in your child’s life.

You got to think of the baby doesn’t he or she have the right to know who the father is. As it’s not the babies fault the father is a selfish pig .
Then when the child meets the father the child can ask him why he abandoned him or her

He will still be responsible for child support. That means nothing.

Let him. Signing over rights doesn’t always mean they dint have to pay support

Don’t let him sign anything… no birth certificate or anything like that, shoot he shouldn’t even be there when you’re giving birth. 

In most states he can’t sign his rights away without someone willing to adopt the child as their own, ie your current significant other if there is one. But you also don’t have to put him on the birth certificate, but if you plan on needing any state help they’ll require someone to go after for child support.

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I’d let him. Rather tell him to.

Let him. No point in forcing something that won’t ever happen. Good riddance to him.

Accept it and be greatful, wish mine would it has been hell

Most states won’t allow it

Let him and say good riddance

Don’t even have him on the birth certificate. Let him go. Can’t force someone to be a parent