I’ve been a working single mum for ten years who has somehow managed to stay in my own home. After okaying it with my 18 yo daughter, my partner of 2 years moved in late last year, which was very welcomed financially. Around the same time, my daughter met first boyfriend, 19, who, against my wishes, started staying overnight all the time. Both were not working or helping financially or otherwise around the house. This created problems in my relationship because my partner could not stand for it and felt gagged by me, so he moved out just prior to covid-19 to save our relationship. Since then I have been responsible for both my daughter and her boyfriend who have lived with me fulltime. They said he couldn’t stay with his dad who is in covid isolation due to health issues. After continually asking for help they said he can’t get centrelink assistance because his parents earn too much. Finally a month ago they both found work. My daughter part time and the boyfriend mostly full time but still have not given me any help. I’m feeling more and more resentful and every time I bring it up my daughter it ends in a massive argument. I am not wealthy and owe a lot on credit and can’t believe this has become my issue to support them both. I then told her I want him moved out by next weekend. She said she will go with him. I said that is your choice. Now she says he’ll go home and she’ll be on streets and even her own mother doesn’t want her. I feel I’ve been incredibly generous and patient not a toxic uncaring mother but the guilt is still there. How much do you have to do for your 18 yo?
Shes a big girl tell her go find a full time job and give u 100 a week or get out. Shes no longer your responabilitie.shes an adult and its time she learns life isnt free and that includes your parents home as well.
Honestly my parents made me and my sister the same offer when we turned 18. You either pay 1 bill a month and help with groceries or you get out. It wasn’t a hard decision. I love my parents to death but I couldn’t stand living with them. Me and my husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) moved into our own place and have been here for 3 years. My sister stayed with my parents until she got married and moved out. Honestly I think a little tough love is what everyone needs. I know that if I needed help my mom would help me. But she gave us the push we needed.
Um you fucked up by letting him stay over in the first place. Be a parent.
Kick both of them out smh
Stand your ground. Your kicking him out not her, she is throwing a tantrum. Stand your ground, it’s a lesson they both obviously need to learn.
My bf, I and recent new baby just moved back in with parents due to my dads health issue and the previous situation we were I wasn’t healthy! I’m 25 and he is 30. He was working full time but now only COVID is only working part time. But we still pay my parents, 150 a month, on top of whatever grocery they need or if they need more money for bills! We don’t expect anything to be just handed to us! We are currently looking for a place to live! Don’t let them walk all over you!
Hold your ground!
Evict her if you have to do it
No ma’am.
Don’t allow her to manipulate your feelings!
They are wanting to live like adults, so let them.
Write out a rental agreement, and I would include behavior expectations as well.
It’s high time you be the landlord and treat them as tenants.
When I was sixteen, out of school and had a CASUAL job, I was paying my way when I lived with my dad. I was paying 200 a fortnight for rent, utilities and food (also fuel money to get me to and from train station at late/early times). I also wasn’t on centrelink. If I knew I didn’t have potential work for a while, I’d pay my dad ahead of time. It’s about responsibility and I think at 18, it’s reasonable for you to ask her to have some
Read the last line 18 yr old aka adult who’s been manipulating you for far too long cut the cord leave her find her feet
Time for her to grow up
One paid electric, one paid water, no where would they find rent at that price. Dont allow her to guilt trip you, you aren’t doing her any favors. Now HE needs to get out. No money, no honey, they cant afford to be in a relationship.
Pay rent or move out
Kick his grown ass out.
They help pay rent and food or they find other accomodation. Give them 3 weeks to decide. They are adults and adults pay rent and food as well as bills.
Our children should come before any man but yeah it wouldn’t harm her to pay her way if she can afford abit X
Tough love momma. You have been raising her, it’s time to grow up! She is 18.
i made my kids pay me $150 a week as soon as they finished school
Make rules and she either follows them or she is out! Tough love.
Stand your ground. If she wants to leave and be homeless that is on her. I and my fiancé and our child currently live with my dad and he pays all the bills. BUT we pay for all our own needs, other than literally just the bills. And I do EVERYONES, including my dads dishes. I am the only one who cooks. I take out ALL the trash, I do ALL the laundry and cleaning, and my fiancé does ALL the yard work and lawn care. I love living with my dad and being close to him. I may not be financially helpful but I do my part to contribute in any other way I can. My dad doesn’t have to lift a finger for anything at home.
Go to the courthouse and evict them. He can tell it to whoever.
You are being taken advantage of - if they want to act like “adults” they need to work and support themselves. Let them leave. At that age if they aren’t at school or disabled they need to be working. You are NOT responsible for the bf he needed to go right away. You need to set boundaries because they are counting on you to let them slide and get by- you have worked too hard to let them take over your life. You have done enough it’s time for them to leave the nest.
Uhm. Kick them out? Problem solved. They’re adults, with JOBS! This is how it works.
Let her go let her learn from it. But always tell her she by herself is always welcome back when she realize that it’s hard out there
She needs this. She will grow up real fast!
My house my rules ! Don’t like them 
.
Why do you have him there if you didn’t allow him in the first place mama? Your house your rules.
Hold ur foot down. Kick him out once she is " on the streets" she will run home. He isn’t ur responsibility and he needs to go. Keep ur head up u are going the right thing. They cant grow up if they don’t learn the reality of growing up.
If they can’t help out they can leave. They have jobs they just know they don’t have to help.
If she wants to play adult games and listen to the music then she must also be able to pay the band. Make them pay or move out. Definitely help around the house
Tough love …kick them out.
I had to pay my mom rent at 18 once I finished school and was working full time she absolutely expected me to help out and she and my dad didn’t need it but I was living there using their water eating the food and watching the cable I mean she didn’t ask for much I gave her 200 a month which lets me real is a joke but I was happy to give it to her even at that age cause my mom literally was the one who did everything for me and I didn’t have no boy there disrespecting my mom I also did more chores cause my mom worked more then I did so I would make sure she did t have to come home to a dirty house
Yeah, kick them out. She is being a drama queen.
They are adults now. Prepping our children to be functioning adults is part of our jobs as parents. Time for life to slap them around a bit. They will both appreciate you so much more once they feel adulthood for the first time. But they can’t do that under your roof.
Nope! They are “grown” and can either help you or get out! It will hurt you some, but its hurting them more by continuing to allow it!
Split bills/rent give them do dates or let them leave, ur her mother put ur foot down,nothing in life is free,and ur not doing her any favors, i got married at 19 moved out had a baby got a divorce 6 months in, 1 year later met another guy got remarried had another baby was married for 4 years. Got another divorce, moved back in with my mom and split everything with her. She did her part she raised me , when I moved back in we helped each other , and that was 6 years ago. Now my mom passed away in January but I’m more responsible than I was then too also have been engaged for 3 years now and my so even helps financially
Remember I have three boys one is 20 one is 9 and 1 is 8 my 20 year old still lives at home with me because he had an IEP in school and he is kind of slow and I don’t want people to cheat him out of his money and yes he does get Social Security and SSI buy Social Security set since he still lives at home with me she has to pay me rent and we send a copy of it with his paychecks every month at the end of the month when has to turn it all the went and she does pay bills and buys his own stuff and helps out around the house
It’s super hard but at 18 n graduated my kids got the talk. Both knew the expectation and choose to leave. My daughter came back briefly but left again because she couldn’t live with me. O well i have rules. I have to pay to have a roof and your able bodied you gotta pay too. You gotta clean up after yourself I’m not the maid. Anything i do for them after 18 is outta love and if you don’t respect me. I’ll be at peace alone in my clean paid for home.
Sometimes 18 doesn’t mature enough or mentally able to be/act like an adult. I’m not justifying bc this girl seems well and able to get her shit together and grow up BUT I’ve seen the “she’s 18 let her go” comments and I’m just making it aware that age does not mean adult. But for this girl? If she wants to try guilting her, let her go live that life she’s talking about and see how quick giving you some rent wont be as a bad.
Sometimes you just have to let go at that age and let them figure out their life on their own. That does not make you a bad mom you can only take so much
Tough love mama. Make him leave. She’ll come back home if she has nowhere else to go.
Let her fly… shell come back… time for her to be a big gir
Nothing. Anything you do for an adult is a gift. Kick everyone out.
Tough love is what it sounds like needs to happen. If they were honestly trying to help and take some of the burden of off you I’d say give it time.
My daughter did the same to me with her boyfriend, I told her he had to go so she said she would too, it was her choice and they left, they eventually figured things out and I finally got a quiet clean house with lower bills. It’s hard but tough love is best in this situation, be strong! Stand your ground and get your life back hun…good luck!! 
If she wants to lie with a boy and not pay her way she can go get her own place
My mom let my siblings walk all over her. They lived with her until they were almost 30 didnt really help with anything in they moved more people in our house! She struggled a lot and they didnt really care.
Hold your ground. It might be hard but do it. I have one sibling that is still depedent on people bailing them out because they always had someone that would. Your kids got to learn theres a whole other world out there and she needs to help out and learn about real life. When your not around she needs to be able to take care of herself. Instill it asap you dont want my moms situation on your hands.
By law you have no responsibility to provide anything for her once she is 18! I would sit down with both of them and tell them if they would like to continue to live in your house they have to pay rent and right up a lease on the amount and have them sign it. I would explain to your daughter and her boyfriend that life isnt free and the world nor you owe them anything and to make it in this world you have to pay your way and your not doing this to be a “bitch” your doing it to teach them responsibility! As somone who hasnt lived with my parents since I was 15 and had to work and pay my own way trust when I say tuff love is some times the best thing you can do for your children they may hate you now but in the long run they will thank you! Also never let your daughter live on the streets but also dont let her use that as a way to manipulate you into letting 2 capable adults free load off you!!
I wouldnt kick her out but hell yeah i would kick his ass out…shes still 18 and a teenager still…IF she wants to go than c ya her choice but yesss kick him out…hes a freeloader
If they are grown enough to shack up they are grown enough to pay bills.
Tell her you do want her but she is old enough to help with bills and food. If she still wants to go tell her you love her wish her the best. Tell her not to lie about why she is living on the streets being a liar is the one thing that is not tolerated. She needs to tell her friends the truth she is to cheap to pay her on way in life and chose to live on the streets. Then kiss her on the cheek hug her like there’s no tomorrow. Then tell her if she still wants to go not to let the door hit her in the butt on her way out. She will be back with a new attitude or she will make it on her own. Either way Mama you’ve done your job.
Make them get out
…i tell my kids once you’re 18… And out of high school… You can only live with me if you’re going to college or working. My 19 yr old 2orks and lives with me she pays gas and portion of utilities.
Definitely don’t let the guilt tripping and manipulation work. She has to learn how to adult
She will be back. Time to learn a lesson
She’s just being dramatic.
Let her make her own decisions, she’s an adult now.
Sometines they just need to learn the hard way.
Kick him out but never your daughter tour kids in my eyes should never have to pay understand parents rules I will never charge my kids rent that to me is bang out of order you chose to have them don’t make there life harder they will get all that once they get their own place never put any stress on kids they still got all that to come when there properly an adult xx my option everyones different xx
Nothing. Time to fly the nest. Time to grow up and experience real life.
Tough love! It will only be harder for her to learn to be independent the older she gets. I had my step kids and their son living with my husband and I. We made the decision to ask them to leave. While they still are not making the choices they should to better their situation, they are on their own. Our relationship with them is so much better now that they no longer live with us.
lol the mistake here was ASKING ur kid if ur bf could move in. kick the kid n her bf out untill leRn to help financially n get bf to come back
You can reassure her you will be there for her but he has to go! Is she going to school? Online or otherwise? Way to young to be living together! He has to go!
In my country 18 is an adult, she is grown, tell her blackmail is not going to work and that she cant guilt you into doing anything for her, if she wants to be on the streets that’s her choice, shes grown enough to find a full time job and maybe not be on the street mooching of her mother who has done all she can for her daughter
She is manipulating you
I know that you love your daughter but if she moves out just because her boyfriend has too, so be it! You can’t teach her responsibility by enabling her! She’ll come around… Just my opinion 
My son and his 2 little girls lived with me and my ex for yrs he couldn’t help much as far as the day to day bases but at the end of the yr he gave us a lrg sum of his income taxes which was very helpfully we knew he was struggling , but he did clean up after himself and helped cook meal and would do dishes .so if she threatens she will be homeless tell her well it’s your choice either help financially here are be homeless.
If she’s not going to school or plans to go to school I would make her pay $200 a month. Use $100 towards bills and put $100 each month away into savings that she is unaware of. When she decides to move out she’ll have some money set aside that she didn’t even know she had. It’s not all about actual financial help but more so respect and responsibility.
Side note: The dude needs to go for sure.
I know a mother were she told her girls to go out and rent there own place and feed them self soo they did did not take long to ask to come home and pay double for there keep thoes girls now married and tell how there mother made them relised how expensive it was to pay rent and live lol
Tough love is harder on us than our children. So her how much you love her by standing your ground while teaching her to take responsibility for herself. It’s a gift to give her she will love you for down the road.
Let her go. She’ll be back. She is an adult and they should both be helping you out! They can’t live anywhere else for free. Just because she’s your daughter doesn’t mean she can take advantage of you! Stand your ground. She knows she can stay but she wants you to feel guilty and let them both stay. If you give in nothing will change. You’re doing the right thing be strong
Is there any reason your daughter does not have a full time job, school or disability? No? Then she needs to get a full time job and support herself. If she can have a live in boyfriend, it’s time they both get a job, get a house and get a life.
Allowing this is hurting you, you’re becoming resentful of your child and her boyfriend. They are grown, they will figure it out.
If she comes back and she probably will, set ground rules, chores, rent etc.
U owe her nothing she is an adult
Figure out what their portion of the bills would be and tell them you want to come to an agreement like adults do. Give them a figure and tell them it’s due on the 1st of the month or they can leave. My oldest lives with me after leaving college and he worked 2 part time jobs and paid a set amount and bought his own groceries. He’s 22 and moved out to an apartment and knows how to balance his money and pay his bills.
This is the teenager version of a toddler tantrum. She is damn well not going to live on the streets because you don’t want her boyfriend living at her house. She’s pulling a guilt trip on you so that she can get what she wants.
It’s the young adult equivalent of “I’m going to hold my breath until you buy me this toy”
Call her bluff.
Get a back bone and put them out. First of all he can just GO. Second of all if she’s not helping pay bills she can go too. Stop letting those ADULTS make you feel bad. You did your part. She’s an adult now
Emotional blackmail is pretty low. You are not responsible for these two. If his parents earn so much then they can stay there. Kick them out, ok your daughter may throw a tantrum and not speak to you but she is a big girl. It’s your time now so don’t feel bad or that you owe them anything.
Nope she’s playin you. Stand strong. They are adults now and can do what they want whether you like it or not. Just not in your house. Hugs hugs hugs. Mine pulled this shit too. If you let it go you’ll be nothing but a slave. And they won’t pay you at all. Hugs
It’s called tough love she old enough now to pay there board and stuff just because she your.daughter you have already did your part as being a mother.its about time your daughter spreads her wings and fly away from home.she aye adult now.if she can have a bf they both can look for there own place. U just need to tell her and let her go.she will understand and thank u one day…have ur own life and be happy. U done your job as a mother.all u need to do is support her and guide her in the right places…
Tell her that either she contributes financially and helping around the house or she ends up on the streets 
no where in life do you get to live for free as an adult. She is an adult now. I was homeless at 15 and had to learn the hard way and work hard get my own place. Maybe it seems harsh, but she needs to contribute and stop relying on you. We have a rule in my house. 3 months tops for free and then you either help or you move out. We have had friends and family stay with us, and they all get the same rule. Anything over 3 months of extra people in our home and they need to be helping. I understand hard times, but 3 months is enough to get on your feet if you’re actually trying.
Tell her to leave or pay rent. If she wasn’t being so bratty, I might have different advice, but she clearly thinks she’s entitled to mooch off of you, so she needs to be taught that she deserves what she earns. Continuing to let her go around with that kind of entitlement isn’t doing her any favors.
Boot her ass
She’s an adult
She is working
Her partner is working
Neither is paying you shit
They can use their checks they aren’t sharing with you to get the fuck out
Uhm get those deadbeat adults out of your house before they reproduce and have you raising their child too! 
She’s giving yah the guilt trip. Tough love, kick her out or pay up.
She’s an entitled, ungrateful bum who doesn’t appreciate you and the burden she has put on you if she wants to leave with him and end up on the street, that’s her own doing, she can stay and help you out if she wants. She is so selfish to think that you owe her loser boyfriend anything, you need to put your foot down and stop enabling her bad behavior. If she has to work she will, she already has a job so she can work full time, stay and help out or leave with him, she will be fine.
First off nothing happens in your house that you don’t allow. Her boyfriend shouldn’t have slept over 1 night. You advise your daughter if she wants to live with her boyfriend, you are more than happy to have her do that, just not under your roof. If she has a problem with that let her leave, she will find a way. If he goes home, that means he could have always gone there. If he goes home and doesn’t take her with him, that is an issue between the two of them and don’t get involved. If she wants to stay with you she needs to pay some of the bills ie: food/utilities, etc. Tell her she has to provide you the money by the 15th, if she doesn’t give you anything than you need to make your choice. she’s an adult and its up to you to see that she works hards and doesn’t feel entitled to things.
It is not unreasonable to expect them to be helping out while living under your roof since they are adults. If it has got to the point where it’s negatively effecting you by having them there, then you are absolutely ok telling them to get out.
How the hell is she going to let him spend the night against your wishes…in your house?? Oh hell no. If they want to be grown, they can move out and be grown.
I would let her know that it is simple either pay 400 a month for BOTH of them or he must go!! Let her know flat out that you can’t afford having him there and that if she really wants to move out you can’t stop her but if she wants to act grown up and have her boyfriend around then its time to pay bills
Let them go and grow
Sadly alot of teenagers/young adults are really ungrateful these days, even if you raised them right.
She clearly thinks you owe her and she is taking advantage of you.
You did the right thing putting your foot down, she is an adult now and if she chooses to move out because of her boyfriend then that’s her choice. You’ve just got to stick to your guns and see how it plays out
I know, personally I could have never afforded to live on my own at 18. I was working a full-time job but it was barely over minimum wage. On top of that, going to school, trying to figure out my life. I totally agree that the deadbeat boyfriend needs to get out. You owe him absolutely nothing. But I wouldn’t make your daughter leave if she agrees to no more overnight stays from the boyfriend.
When I live with my mom at 18 and asked if my boyfriend (now husband) can moved in she said yes but now he and I would have to pay rent. We didn’t want to be homeless so rent was being paid. At the age of 19 I had my daughter. When I turned 20 we had gotten our own home I’m 30 now. You need to give them a decent amount rent that they need to start paying you. If not the boyfriend needs to leave.
Send them on their way
There is absolutely no reason that you should be supporting your adult daughter and her adult boyfriend. They wanna play house, more power to them but they need to do it on their dime and not yours.
She’s an adult who has been living there… Legally you can’t kick her out. You have to formally evict the both of them.
Tell her if she can find a place were she doesn’t have to follow rules or pay rent ,that she should go there. Otherwise she needs to get either another part time job or one full time job and pay you back ( and so does the boyfriend). And they need to cleanup after themselves and contribute to the grocery and utilities. Hardest thing I ever did with my son. But he is now a capable, competent adult.
If you’re paying her phone or buying her needs stop doing that. Tell her to pay her own Bill’s and make her pay rent or help with groceries. Tough love . She’s just trying to make you feel bad.
I was 16 and a single mother and helped my mom out with whatever she needed and bought groceries and helped pay bills there’sand cleaned up after me and my son. no excuse don’t feel bad for her you raised her enough she’s an adult now she’s got to make it on her own without you holding her hand!
You need to look at the household bills and tell her this is the monthly water bill this is the gas and electric and this is what I’ve been spending on food so I expect this amount from you each month if you can’t come up with your half you need to move because when you turn 18 you become an adult and it’s time to start paying your way
I have put up with mine alot longer that i care to memtion iwas disrespected bullied and diminished .today ii throw him out of my house .i hope he never vome back
She’s just talking noise put his ass out and see where she’ll be.