I am part of a blended family. Me and my husband met, he had 2 kids, I had 2 kids and we have one together. We’ve been together for 10 years now. The first 4 years he completely accepted my daughter, who was 4 at the time, when she turned 8 or 9, he is hard on her and only her. It makes me feel that he doesn’t like her, and it breaks my heart. She came out as Bi last year, and he has only gotten worse with the gay remarks. He makes he absolutely miserable. I am at my wits end. Any advice on what I should do in this situation, will be greatly appreciated!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter came out and my husband started treating her different...advice?
Choose your CHILD over the BS he is putting her through
Nip it in the bud, tell him to stop every time he says something and remind her that you love no matter what.
The answer is simple. LEAVE. Don’t subject your child to that.
Always choose ur child… no matter what ur daughter is going to carry that with her forever… and the fact that it’s supposed to be her home her safe place from all the worlds judgments…
I would leave that unfair to your daughter
Plane and simple he either stop and treat her right or you and the kids your daughter and the other one that you guys have together split ur kids come before any man ￼
Its really heart breaking when youre in a situation that will break up your life. I would set boundaries with him and tell him hes no longer allowed to discipline her and you dont appreciate the passive aggressive comments towards her even if they are in a joking manner. He would not stand for his children being treated differently and it will certainly put a strain on the way u feel about him if hes treating your daughter like crap
It’s none of his business what anyone else’s sexual orientation is but his own. I’m sure he has no issue with same sex porn. He’s being a bigot and an a**hole. Her sexual preferences literally do not effect him.
You’re childs feelings should come before yours
Divorce his dumb ass
Leave him if he isn’t supportive of the kid, boy bye!
I would tell him either you accept her and treat her with the same respect you do all our kids or I am out
Choose your child over him or imo you allow the mental abuse as well
You need to protect your child above all else. Be reminded of all the kids committing suicide these days because they are not accepted. You don’t want that to be your daughter. Changes are in order.
Replace the whole ass man! It’s broken!
Gotta go. My kids come first.
Leave now. Period. Your life won’t begin until you do…but more importantly…your CHILDREN S lives won’t befin until that MOMENT…THE DECISION IS YOURS
You need to make a point you’re not gonna stand for that shit. She doesn’t deserve that! Put your foot down!
He either stops or he goes. Your daughter’s mental health is worth more than that
Choose your child. It’s your job to protect her from this sort of thing. Regardless of how much it will hurt you to leave your spouse.
Choose your child first! Do not make her live with someone who makes her miserable! Your one and only job until your kids are grown is to love and protect them.
I’m Bi as well. It’s hard coming out to people you aren’t comfortable around. I can’t imagine how she must feel it’s easier said than done, but that’s abuse. I would stick up for her and leave.
Why’re you allowing him to? You’re supposed to be protecting her.
Leave him, wtf why u sitting around letting him treat your child like that.
Your baby comes first. Your feelings matter, but hers matter more - especially in a situation like this. Talk to him, go to family counselling, do everything you can. If it doesn’t work, you need to take your babies and go
If he can’t accept you gotta go end of story
You have to choose your daughter over your man. He needs to go. You will mess her up for life if you don’t remedy this situation immediately.
Your daughter will remember you prioritizing your husband over her. You need to stick up for her, either tell him that it stops and make sure it does or leave.
You just continue to love her unconditionally. Period, the end, end of story. Move on!!
He’s got gay insecurities I’ll bet he’s bi and hiding it confront him about it
Stand up for your child… let him know that those remarks are not necessary…
Talk to him. Tell him to back off and stop with the gay remarks. If he is going to treat her like so and doesnt care, you need to take your kids and leave
If I read that right, how in the hell does a nine year old “come out”? That’s insane. Someone is steering that child into a perverted lifestyle.
Leave for your child’s sake. If he can’t accept her then boy bye!
Leave stop letting this guy treat your child like that.
D.I.V.O.R.C.E…choose your child
You have a responsibility to protect your daughter. Leave! It won’t be easy but she’s a child. You have to do for her what she can’t do for herself.
If he’s not going to change and he’s made it clear that there’s nothing you can do to change him, then leave. If you don’t leave she’s going to hate you for it when she’s older and able to be on her own, and will most likely never talk to you again unless you leave him. You can do something now and that’s leaving. Choose your child over your husband cause trust me I know how it feels to be chosen over the other step parent.
Better question here is, why are you allowing him to do it?
As a man and father, this is just totally unacceptable, your child is gonna suffer years of trauma if you and your hubby can’t get it strightned out, mabey some family therapy and deff some one on one for the young lady.
You have no clue how this is mentally affecting your daughter.
Or live with the possibility of burying your child.
Who’s to say she wouldn’t try to take her own life because “Dad” is homophobic!
My 17 year old family member try to commit suicide a few months back because when she try to tell her mom she was gay,
Mom’s response was
Your going to Hell!
Protect your child!
Leave him. You are her mom and responsible for protecting her. Kick his sorry butt to the curb.
How in the world can she know this at 8 or 9 years old? That’s ridiculous.
You know what he thinks about your kid. It doesn’t matter if he starts “acting” better… it will harm her in the end and she should be coming first.
Stand up for your daughter and tell that loser to kick rocks. She needs to see you stick up for her. I’d pack his shit the first negative comment he made. He probably likes his booty played with and can’t come out the closet.
Your girl comes first! You need to be telling him to stop with the put downs asap or he needs to leave. Yeah your feeling like this but how’s your daughter feeling? Her wellbeing is most important.
Your kids come first
Hang on… She came out as bi at 8 years old…
Communicate… Advocate for her!
Why would you stay?
Leave him. You have to protect your children and you need to be there for your daughter
You need to back your daughter.
Be the safe space your child needs and lose the douchebag.
Your children should ALWAYS come before ANYONE!
Talk to your daughter. This is alarming.
Talk to him. Put down boundaries. If he doesn’t respect those boundaries, leave. Your relationship is a role model on how relationships should be. Do you want your daughter to be trapped in a relationship with someone that treats her kids like dirt?
Loose him!!! Because you will loose your daughter standing beside him…
Why let him say things I’d tell him to can it or he go that girl needs you’re support so why she came out bi at 8yrs old at least she’s comfy with herself.
Leave you shouldn’t allow a grown man to hurt your child like that verbally that’s just no okay he doesn’t have any right to be that way towards her nobody does
You need to sit down a have a serious talk with him about his behavior if it dosnt change then you need to leave. Your children are more important and your child’s mental health is at risk. I’m almost in the same boat my son from a previous relationship is being treated differently and I’m in the process of leaving. Good luck momma
Really? Isn’t it obvious? He either stops immediately or you divorce him. Don’t be the mom who chooses her abusive husband over her children. If he says he will stop make sure it actually happens or leave him. One thing I’ll ever understand no matter how old and forgiving I get is why/how my mom chose her husband who was/is abusive to her children husband over her kids. Until he’s dead there will always be be a wall up, don’t let it get to that point for your own children.
Put that foot down or sry he would be gone period
Leave him. Children should always come first. By keeping her in that situation you aren’t helping her any.
Leave him it is abuse to your daughter
Step up tell him to leave her alone
Time to put a foot in his butt n protect your kid
My son turned out gay.
No issues from anyone.
He was just accepted!
Family is about love, support and encouragement.
If there is a problem deal with it accordingly.
I choose my children every time.
Omg she is 9. She shouldn’t even worry about sex or sexuality. She doesn’t know what she wants yet. Kids go through a confusing stage So Dont encourage it. Don’t make her feel bad either. Your husband needs to back off it’s your child You need to take up for your kids. She was there first.
Nope. Would Not tolerate.
Divorce him. Your daughter comes first. It’s not easy for kids who are anything other than straight, nevermind having a verbally abusive step dad.
I can’t believe y’all say leave, so proud of yall! My step dad was like this, possesive of the things he liked and wanted me to dress or act a certain way. He got to friendly… Around that time I became confused bi, until I understood what was going on. I was uncomfortable with guys because of what happened. Anyways years later I ask her (my mom)why she’s never left if she knows, she said “what would I have if I left, I asked him to stop being inappropriate with u”. Always choose ur fucking kid. Thank u and be strong.
Put your child first no matter what. You allowing it to happen this long is just as bad as what he’s doing and it’s not okay whatsoever. You either pick her over him or you pick him over her and find someone in your family or her father that will accept her and love her but do not keep her in a home where she’s being mentally and emotionally abused.
He needs to stop immediately or you and your kids need to leave.
Leave and don’t look back. You know the feeling you’re having is because he’s wrong. If you can tell, your daughter can tell. She doesn’t deserve that. You don’t regret your decision. Your child needs you. To protect her at all cost
An 8 year old shouldn’t have a sexual preference
Yeah, you need to put a stop to that bullshit. You wouldn’t let her siblings bully her, but you will allow her step-father to? That’s some bullshit right there.
True love loves at all times!
Leave him immediately because that’s not healthy for your daughter
That’s a deal breaker for me. Accept my kids ore we out. You and your daughter deserve better. Don’t put him above your daughter.
Throw the whole man away.
How do you stay with a man that treats your child horrible?
What does a child of nine know about their sexual. Preference
Where has childhood gone these days
Having fun etc
She might have heard this some where
Both of you are taking this too seriously
If it were me, he would be bounced out that door in a heartbeat!
Leave. Your daughters feelings matter more than a man.
Your child comes first above all else. If he can’t accept it, then bye bye.
You should put a stop to this IMMEDIATELY, the world is already awful for the gay community , her house / parents should be her safe place.
Do not allow him to treat her like that
Child first. Leave this situation is not getting better
Kick him out he sounds like a piece of shit
Stand up for your child. If you don’t no one will.
LEAVE. He’s showing his colors
For her sake, leave. Or it will ruin your relationship with her.
He is bullying your child. There is no way, that I would stay with someone like that. Imagine what he says when you’re not around, when he is comfortable saying these things when you are.
Well for one he’s probably bi sexual and can’t admit it and your daughter has the balls that he is lacking so there for he’s jealous and she holds her self better than he does and there for he will not give a inch I’m just saying
As someone who was in a similar situation with my ex…my only advice I can give is to leave!! My oldest son is 16 my youngest 13. My ex who I was with almost ten yrs would belittle my oldest son all the time. Like, he was jealous of him or something. I saw what it has done to him over the years. And I hate myself for staying with him for as long as I did. I got away two yrs ago and I still see the effects it has on him. For your child’s sake leave as soon as possible
Ummm…a 9 year old isnt even hormonally or mentally ready/thinking about sex. It is a fad at that age that should pass. Maybe talk to her about where she heard it from and tell her she is too young to know that yet. Just be a kid. All that will come after first cycle. For now…shouldnt even be talking about sexual preference.
Yeah, talk to him and tell him you notice and are not okay with it and if he doesn’t start respecting your daughter your going to leave!
protect & support your daughter, shes going to get the bs from other ppl she doesnt need it from her “dad” maybe try family counseling best of luck
LEAVE! Your child’s mental health is more important than some man, regardless of how long yall have been together