I work approximately 50 hours a week, and I have a seven-year-old daughter. Lately, at night she has been crying, saying that I work too much. I’ve been trying to be done a bit earlier each day and trying to do fun things with her on the weekends when I do not work. It keeps coming up, though, and I don’t know what else I can do. Any advice from other working moms on how they balance everything?
You are working hard to pay the bills and put a roof over the child’s head, you are doing the right thing even if it doesn’t feel like it. Maybe you can read her stories at night or write her notes for her lunchbox. Just remind her that you love her- keep your head up and remember that you are making sacrifices that are absolutely necessary.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter has been upset that I work so much: Advice?
This sounds hard mama. I have no advice but wanted to tell you that you’re doing a great job and someday she will understand the sacrifices you made to give her a good life
Hardest job in the world.
Explain why you have to work.
All you really can do, is explain to her that you need to work to support her, and be able to go do fun things with her. And that you love her very much, and don’t want to leave her to go to work. I would suggest taking a day just for you and her. But you already stated you do fun things with her on the weekends. Keep reminding her, when she cries about it, that you and her are going to do something fun on whatever day. Try to maybe side track her. Give her something to look forward to. It’s really hard!
My husband worked 50 plus hours a week and I hated it. He got a different job.
That’s rough. I only work 36 hours a week and have 3 little girls. Takes me 90 minutes after work to get home after pick up. My kids are tired too
Mom guilt is the absolute worst. My daughter is 9. I have been working 50-70 hour weeks since she was basically 4. Some days are really hard. I try to remind her the reason I work. She loves our condo and our kitties. We take at least one vacation together every year. All of this costs money. If I could stay home with her everyday I would.
I’m in about the same situation, I’ve found calling on a 5-10 minute break and video chatting on lunch, sometimes talking on the way home is helpful to make them feel more included, just make sure they know some days are busier than others but I always call on lunch
You’re a great mom! Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
I would save up vacation days and take a Fri/Mon off & plan something fun. It’s so hard, I know. Have a talk with her about what she’d like to see & I did explain to my son why I had to work and how bills broke down. He gave me some grace after bc he understood it wasn’t by choice.
One day at a time momma. This won’t last forever
I try to work most hours during school hours. I have to work every second weekend and holidays though. Such a hard situation. Hard to give the right advice
Not sure if you work from home or what you do but is it possible you could start earlier or maybe do some work at home after she goes to bed.
My daughter gets upset about this too
I go through the same with my 5 & 10yo. I do what I can with them on weekends to make up for the lost time. It tears me up at times too. I just explain to them that it’s a part of life to have the things we have. It will all be worth it one day and they will understand eventually.
I casually joke that we’re gonna end up on the streets if I dont work and that seems to keep her thinking lol second is asking her if she’s willing to get a job instead
Does she go to a sitters? Do you work from home?
Maybe she feels unsafe/ so that’s her way of telling you. Just a thought
You’ll be sorry when her childhood has past you by. That poor child.
Is your job such that you could take her with you?
I’m in a similar situation. Today I set up movie night and werehome just watching movies and eating wtvr fast foods we want. Some days I work outside and let my kids have pool time while I work/watch. Pools are not filled so they’re splashing vs swimming. Random trips. Bbqs,etc. Spa days. However you can fit it in.
Let her know you have to work to pay the bills at home , and buy chlothes and food
I used to work 2 full time jobs to support me and my 3 boys for 4 years 80+ hour work weeks to keep us afloat - finally I was able to cut back my hours to less than half of what I was working, every second weekend off, and a couple days off during the week on my weekends on and make the same amount of money give or take $100 or so - they still hate it and guilt me lol I have decided I love seeing them with food, clean water, warm beds and a solid home more than the guilt eats at me anymore. All I can do is my best… I have nothing more beyond that. I will say my now 12 year old doesn’t care so much anymore and gets it plus loves snacks… moms $ equals snacks lol
My 10 year old is getting better at accepting why I work so hard for us but the 5 year old could give a shit what the excuse is he wants me home all the time I know that will change over time.
I mean you gotta work. It’s sucks but gotta pay the bills.
Take the time with your children now. If you don’t know the song “Cat’s in the Cradle,” listen to it! If you do know the song, listen to it! I know you have to work, but she won’t be little much longer. Where do you sacrifice (because something is going to be sacrificed!)? Blessings to you in this struggle.
I work about 25 hours a week and we get by…my son is 10 and it’s just the 2 of us in a new town. He’s been through a lot and needs me. But it’s hard when I know I could be making more money for us
It’s hard especially these days everything is so expensive and working is a must anymore…It sounds like your a very good momma and you just have to reassure how much she’s loved and you need to work so she is able to have nice things…one day at a time things will be ok…good luck and hugs…
Yup and I am very glad I was able to cut back on some hours but thats even a hard decision too make unfortunately we have to work but I think finding the balance that works for your family is important and don’t compare your situation to someone else’s you do what u have to for your family
Where does she stay when you work. She’s lonely. I know it’s hard but give her an hr of your time when you get home. Have her help Set the table and talk. I know it’s hard but give her the time and it will make things better.
Give her one day a week that is only you and her. Even if it is only a evening. Daughter and mommy date night. Dinner movie or her favorite place to go. If you can’t go out favorite game, read a book together or a movie at home. Make it the same day every week if not schedule it every week so she has it to look forward to. Eventually she will become a teenager and not want any time with you.
Being a working mom is so hard. I work retail so I cut my availability back some just cause mom guilt is real. I’m sorry I don’t have any better advice for you. Could you maybe only work 4 days a week?
It’s tough. She will understand someday but just keep doing what you are doing to make the most of your time together and explain that you would love to be home more. Let her know this is all for her so that she has everything she needs.
I am in the same situation. I work about 60 to 70 hrs a week. And my 5 year old tells me all the time she dont get to see me much and its my works fault. I am not married and don’t receive any child support so my income is the only one for my household basically. My older teens work but they don’t make enough to run a house hold but their income does help especially with paying for their college tuition and college needs and their cars. But basically I have all the bills plus extra curricular activities and everything required for house and life on me. She hasnt fully grasped the concept on how much it cost to live yet. She understands u have to buy food and certain things. But she dont know about rent and power and water and other household bills and car payments and car and health insurance and copays and all the things that cost money yet she hasnt really cried yet about me working so much. But she does tell me I missed stuff all the time and says she wishes I could be there at things. And I have recently been diagnosed with some severe health issues that has left me struggling with the fact I have to work so kuch because the fear of missing out on memories with her. So I am trying to figure out a solution on how to balance things myself. So I am interested in suggestions as well.
My daughter did the same thing around that age. I worked swing shift 7p-7a back then and hardly saw her and was exhausted when I did. Only had every other weekend off. I would spend as much time as I could with her after school and before I left, reading coloring anything! She would cry when I had to go to work n say ‘but mommy I’m not hungry’ when I said I have to go make money to buy food. Broke this Moma’s heart. We would have girls day and then family day the weekend I was off. She had daddy daughter time the whole rest of the time. She was closer to her daddy during that time as well. It was a stage she went through though and soon understood moma working so much meant more fun things when I was home. Now she’s 12 and I still work swing shift but 7a-7p and we are closer than I ever thought we’d be. Literally tells me everything lol even stuff I don’t want to hear. She says she feels closer to me now because I worked so much and that she appreciates and admires me for the sacrifices I made. She is a wonderful, well rounded, too smart for her age young lady who is thankful for all she has because she knows the price that has been paid for it. So, mom, love your baby girl hard during the time you do have with her and enjoy every min of it. This stage will pass for her too and she will love you more knowing you did it all for her. Hugs prayers and best wishes from a working mom who once had a broken heart from leaving her baby girl, who now has a wonderful thankful loving daughter.
U are the real deal! Your a role model
I have been a single mom all my kids life. They are now 21 and 28. I worked crazy shifts trying to raise them. They never complained about being with a sitter. Until now. Both say they wished I had been home more. They understand but I missed a bunch. My advice. If you can cut back. Cherish these years with her. I regret now I missed so much. Hugs
I’m in the same boat only my daughter is 11. I just make sure that we spend time to do things together as much as I’m able.
I get it. Right now I work from home until at least September but my youngest still says I work much. She is 6 and I try to do fun things after work and on weekends.
Is she with a sitter or a daycare? Maybe she is feeling lonely. I am not sure what the answer is but invite her to help with dinner or let her stay up late one night and watch movies. Just you and her.
Simple- ask her if she likes food and a roof over her head. If the answer is yes than she should be thankful you work. The other part is spending time with her on your time off but you are already doing that from the sounds of it. Other than that ask if her babysitter/nanny or relative that takes care of her is treating her fairly. It might be a problem a with child care provider or even another child in that program (or home if its a home child care person)
Make quality time when you can , a tent in tbe yard or air bed for star gazing , time without outside distractions is what she needs . You are doing g a good job mom , what she doesn’t need is a stressed mom so make some strawberry lemonade and sit with her and enjoy , have her read you a story and relax. If you have a sister or friend have a girls night .
You need to discuss a work life balance with your employer. I used to work those crazy hours and guess what, I was expendable. My children ARE NOT expendable.
I now work for a company that absolutely understands work life balance. We work as actual teams and when someone has to take a sick kid to the doctor, we slide in and take over. When someone is out ill, we work through it as a team. When someone has to put in extra time, it’s 100% acknowledged and the person flexes their hours so their family doesn’t suffer.
It’s an international company (based in the US) and has look at international work expectations.
All kids feel this way. She’ll get over it. I did. Make sure there are other people in her life who can spend fun time with her when you can’t. My parents would pick up my kids once a week after school and spend the afternoon with them. We also had awesome neighbors the kids could spend time with who were fun. I’d take the kids to the office sometimes when I had to work on weekends. My daughter loved to bang on the typewriter (this was when you had them for typing addresses on envelopes) and my son loved to make photocopies for me. Think if there’s anything in the office the kids could do.
Depending on your job, maybe you can kinda show your kid what a day at work is like for you but organize it at work. Maybe show videos? Explain the importance of your job. Without you, this wouldn’t happen or this wouldn’t get made or we wouldn’t have whatever. (All pertaining to work and not life)
Maybe she’d understand why you work so much. You don’t necessarily have to mention bills and whatnot.
Make her look up to you (and maybe your job) and she won’t be missing you as much.
My daughter misses me and complains but once I showed her and told her about my day, she started asking about my day and its a moment of bonding time where she understands why I was gone for so long.
My daughter was like that. From the age of almost 3, I just remind her that you have to work to be productive and have nice things. I work construction so I am sometimes out of town all week. It’s hard but she is 6 now and knows I have to work so she can have a good life and get extra things. It is hard very hard and I try to show her how much I love her when I am home.
I’m in your boat mama - I work 40hours a week and I’ve always got my 3 year old asking me “stay home” , even with his dad home full time - it’s so heartbreaking
It is hard for mommas. Staying home isn’t much of an option, even for married mommas. Single mom’s need to work harder than a married couple all alone. People really don’t get it.
Try not to work so much and give her lots of time I work all the time and my daughter is not doing very well this is from my mom that worked constantly
It’s tough being a working mom and not having much free time.
For me personally, I implemented game night, movie night, trips to the park, the arcade, indoor water parks etc. I started giving them something to look forward to in my time home despite my exhaustion. I explained at Young ages to my children that without me working we wouldn’t have the things we do or the ability to do extras. They are now 10 and 8 (and 1 but he doesn’t understand) and they understand why I go to work every day, why I have to prioritize that, work a bit extra or even miss out on some time with them to provide for them.
You’re doing what’s best for your child & she will be forever grateful when she is able to understand it all.
I work 78 hours a week. I know, it sucks and it’s a huge sacrifice I make so that my kids can have nice things. I explain that to them. I also make sure to give them time to take them out and do fun things:
I have just recently started explaining to my 3yr old that I work to take care of her. I work so that we can have a house, her snacks etc. she’s never said anything about it. She’s an only child so she enjoys daycare and being around other kids. We see family on the weekends and we share the house with my cousin. I’m sure she’ll say more about it like I did as a kid but I also understood at some point my mom had to work.
If you don’t have to work so much, don’t. I worked A LOT thinking I was providing the best life for my kids and in the end I missed out on time and they didn’t care about the “things” I provided, they cared about the time which is irreplaceable. I’ll never forgive myself. 2 are grown and 2 are nearly grown
Try seeking other work that keeps you on a 40 hour work week. Also, setting up something as simple as a card game a few nights a week; UNO, Go Fish, etc or something similar requiring quality time together may help as well. Paint nails, play make up etc…
Also that woman who is working 78 hours a week so her kids can have nice things translates to no time with the kids of any substance! It’s 78 fucking hours!
Add special one on one time during the week. Keep a journal where you write messages back and forth. Do little surprises and visual reminders of how special they are. Have lots of comfort items and tools to process big emotions.
Validate the fears and concerns. Even if the hours can’t change. If it feels big to them, it’s something to validate and process.
Consider if there is any flexibility in your work schedule. Can there be a phone call, video chat, or scaling down to 45 hours a week to have an extra hour of one on one time during the week?
Are there any other adults or supportive friendships she can be with while you’re at work?
Is school going ok? Any additional stress or changes?
My husband is home with our 3 boys, but it’s just not the same as momma. My kids are 4, 7, and 8. They are basically stuck right to me as soon as I get home. Luckily my husband does all the cooking so that I can spend time with them for the evening. I’m gone at work at least 10 hours a day and sometimes 11 because I have 2 hours drive time. I have chosen spending time with my kids over housecleaning so if my husband doesn’t do it, it just doesn’t get done. It’s a struggle and sometimes now that the kids are getting older, they will want to take a few hours on the weekends to get the house in order together. One of my boys takes it harder than the others about me being gone all the time. I sat them all down one day and asked them if they would want to live in a smaller house and have less of a nicer car and less toys to have momma work closer to home. See what your child’s answer would be and go from there. I think their answer will help you find your way. It’s hard. Good luck!
You guys have got to stop saying she’ll just get over it or finding ways to make her feel guilty about missing her mother. I hope some of y’all don’t push your own child’s feeling aside this way.
Find a way to work less. Your child will never be this age again. You’ll never have this year again. These days do not last. Time with your child is fleeting.
I feel you. When I was working as an RN I worked 60 hr weeks. I had a 1,2and 5 year old. I started working nights…, got maybe 4 hours of sleep, but it did give me more time with kiddos. Hope it all works for ya doll
Both my daughters do this oldest is 9 youngest is 1. Dad is the stay at home parent. All I try to do is remind them that I need to work to keep a roof over there heads food in there tummy, clothes to wear and toys and games to play. I set aside 1 day every month for all 4 of my kids, (2 girls 2 boys) where its just me and one of them to spend time together and let them choose what we do that day.
Where does she stay at night while you work? Be sure nothing is going on there that would frighten her or make her uncomfortable after you leave for work.
I’m feeling you I have a 6 year old it’s hard mama
I honestly think something else is going on
Try to talk to her but when you both have plenty of time
Having fun doesn’t mean it’s a good time to really talk
Just tell her its for her and you som you can have a happy life And you love her everyday
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter has been upset that I work so much: Advice?
I have been in your shoes. Its heartbreaking to hear these things (my son is now 13 and understands better) just reassure her that it’s not because you don’t want to be with her, that you love her, and spend as much time with her as possible. It will get easier hang in there momma!
From someone who has raised her children and worked alot of hrs, and with life long relationships with friends who stayed home more, your not going to win … it’s going to depend on the mindset of your children when they grow up, all I heard for yrs is about my job as a nurse, unfortunately it was alot of hrs and very demanding, but important things I was there for most times and always home cooked meals, clean home and laundry done, they had expensive taste, now my daughter use to throw it up in my face she didn’t want to be like me and work all the time, and her kids fuss because they can’t do or have as much as others, she now understands it’s a no win situation until the child is grown and understands, explain the best you can , give all the love and support but do what you got to do, it will all work out, as my daughter and friends found out…
Cut back to less days. I only do 4 days and that extra day makes a huge difference…for my sanity as well as my presence
I found myself stuck in a mandatory 65+hr work week plus 12 hours worth of travel for 6 days a week for a long time.(my work is based of rising and lowering trends.) Its tough on them, tough on us. I found scheduling activities with friends around his age when possible, suffering through all his favorite things(even if they werent mine), i reassured him my time gone was so he can have and do everything that makes him happy and healthy. Sometimes some just CAN’T cut work hours for the sake of still having a job to provide. One day she will realize you were doing everything you to your best.
I would just have a talk with her and tell her you have to work to provide for all the things you have or things she wants…and maybe cut down on some hours?
They grow up so fast!! Just do your best!!
Apply for all benefits. They are there for people like you. The best years of your life is when they are little. God. Bless
I totally understand! I work 2 jobs. Thankfully one is at home but my kids have often come to me and said you don’t spend time with me! It’s so heartbreaking because we are all just trying to give them what we didn’t have growing up. Trying to do better for them. They don’t see that tho. I’ve learned to take 10-15 minutes and play ball or do whatever it is that my kids enjoy doing. It’s only 15 minutes but that 15 minutes is nothing but for them. It’s not much and they get disappointed when I’ve got to go back to work but they are doing a lot better with it. Also on a weekend for half a day it’s all about them! “Bc they’ve been such a big help for mommy letting her work”. Doesn’t have to be anything major. Take them to the park or just sit down and play with them. Bc in the end all they want is our attention. Money means nothing to them
1 day a week for her. If you can afford to cut back to 40 hours do so. Explain to her that while you much rather be with her, you have to work to provide for her.
Honestly I would be sad too. Do you have to work that much?
Maybe slow it down… you dont have children NOT to be there for them…
Make plans with her. Anything from cooking meals together to weekend getaways. Show her your schedule and work in her favorite things and make sure you stick to commitments with her just like you would commitments for work. Show her she’s a valuable part of your day! She will be okay
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter has been upset that I work so much: Advice?
I have the same reaction from my nearly 9 year old daughter. She loves spending time with her nanny (if partners working at the same time) and loves spending time with her steodad and sister but she wants me to be home to be the one that tucks her in at night and gives her the kisses and cuddles for bedtime. I think my daughters issue now is that there is a 6 month old baby in her way, she feels like she’s not getting enough attention. Because she was fine with me working before I had the baby. I reassure her that when I come home late I will always give her a kiss and cuddle before I go to bed, even though she might not feel it, I do it. I just think reassuring her that you’re always coming home no matter what, I a good thing for their little minds. Don’t try and and over think it xxx
Idk if this will help, but my mom worked hard and a lot too and when I was younger I didn’t understand it and it bothered me but now that I’m older I appreciate it I get it and I look her up to her. There’s other things that bothered that me as a kid but when I got older I understood them. And I’m okay with those things now but like I said I wasn’t as a kid. So idk if that’s telling you it’s okay because she’ll get it when she’s older or if you should worry about how she feels about it when she’s younger.
I feel for you. My 11-year-old is an only child. My husband and I work from home, but he answers calls all day, so my son thought it was OK to keep interrupting me. When I put my foot down, he got upset. I had to explain to him that we work hard to give him opportunities that we didn’t have. He still isn’t thrilled with it, but we try to make the time outside of work family time.
Where is she when you are working
Is someone upsetting her I’d ask questions and I’d try hard not to work so many hours while she is so young x it’s only for such a short time they grow up so fast x
My advice for you is to make sure that you spend time with your children or child,money is good but taking time to listen to your child are very important, spending quality time is even more important, working is good to let the kids know that this is being independent as a adult, but never gets to busy not to be there for them, because someone else will raise them there way for you which may not be good
You only get 18 years to be with your daughter. She is only 7 once. You have to try to find a way to make more time fore her. Work should NEVER come before your family. My husband quit his very high paying job as an executive head chef because, while it was great he was making so much money, what good is that when we never see him? What good is having the extra pay if you never have time to spend it? I strongly feel like you need to find a way to communicate with your employer how much more important you daughter is. These are pivotal moments in her life and when she grows up, all she is going to wish is that she’d spent more time with you. I would rather lose my job and figure it out from there than risk missing such important moments with my daughter.
Work is a part of life. If you are only working 50 hours that’s not too bad honestly. As long as you make time to spend with her and make that time really special between you two she will be ok. She will grow up and mimic the hard work ethic you are showing her that is necessary. School itself is say 730-3 for elementary generally, so that’s 40 hours a week. So you can relate to her that school is like her job now and when she’s an adult she goes to work like you do instead of school. I am very straightforward with my kids. The things they want cost money, work gives me money in exchange for time. I also do take special days like today to celebrate her bday with her (my own child) and I plan vacation time to focus on them. Don’t feel bad, keep being a hardworking mom that also has a family. You can do this!
Don’t feel bad. You’re doing what you need to do to put food on the table, a roof over her head, and clothes on her body. She’s allowed to miss you, but she needs to understand that you do it to pay for the things you have. You’re still off on weekends, and spending quality time. You’re not doing anything wrong. She may not get it now, but she will. It would be different if you didn’t spend the weekends with her, but in a few weeks, she’ll be in school & only be without you for a few hours per day, outside of her school days. It’s okay. you’re doing what you need to do.
Pick your priorities. You may need money to live but don’t live just to make money. I’m a single mom and I would give anything to be able to stay home until my son is grown, I feel like I have missed out on so much with him he’s 15. I’ve gotten to the point that I refuse to work more than 40 hours a week just so I can be home with him. Even if we’re just sitting around the house, we are together and I am there for him. Cut back to 40 hrs a week. You’ll find ways to do without those 10 extra hours of money, and her smile and happiness are far more important.
Just tell her you understand her feelings and tell her that you’re sorry and that you have to work to pay for all the bills and it’s just what adults have to do so they can take great care of their babies. But also try and include her in the evening routine you have like helping cook or fold laundry or make a special plan like popcorn and a movie if you can. It’s definitely not easy at all. I take my younger two girls to work w me sometimes. I hate not being with my babies toooo. Just make sure she knows that you hear her and are trying the best you can to make her feel better.
I had the same issue with my daughter when she was around the same age. We explained the reasons why to her but then I thought how in comparison there will only be these few short years where she actually wants to be with me and I was lucky enough to lower my hours but understand not all parents can do this. I have a completely new job now and things have changed drastically for the better. As a child I remember my mum worked so hard as an adult I fully appreciate, understand and love her more for her sacrifices.
You spend all your free time with her and youre trying your best. Well done for being a super mum !
Please cut some of those hours. She is missing you and I’m proud that you raised her to communicate her feelings. Cut back, you can’t get this time back.
Make a family breakfast instead of a quick breakfast so her 1st interactions are with you.
I’m just honest with my kids. I tell them the truth…mamas gotta work for us to survive. It sucks…but I was home with both while they were babies. When they started school I started busting butt. Just keep making the most of the time you do have with her when you are off. If you can take an extra day Friday or Monday occasionally for a long weekend…do.
I think my mom regrets not spending as much time with my brother and I as kids. I definitely was mad and have had suffer some abandonment issues growing up. I was mad at her for years for always missing my stuff. I’ve had to learn to forgive her and I realize how much hard work she has had to do in order for us to live a good life. My best advice, try your best and be there for those school concerts and sports events. It’s the little stuff like that. That is what we will remember you being there for and not just an empty seat and disappointment.
Sometimes as a mom or a dad we can’t cut our hours it’s not as easy as people make it sound especially if you’re a single mom or a single dad sometimes you have to work 50 to 60 hours a week to make bills and it would be awesome to have extra money to do stuff with our kids … My advice to you what ever you two do together make it extra special once a month I get we can’t get these years back as some has said a lot people live pay check to pay check it’s just not as easy as some want to say I know when my kids were younger and me and there dad divorced I had to work as many as hours as i could to pay my bills but I made sure I spent time with as I’m sure you do with with your daughter I wish you luck …
My daughter works as a nurse, she is only 23. Her daughter is ,10 this year. Yes I can see some doing the maths, she was 13 when she gave birth. Cut story short, she hasn’t really spent too much time over the years due to going back to school, having part time work n then she got a nursing cadetship. Became a nurse at 19, registered nurse 20. So study n work.
She told me once I’m home with her on days ECT. I said yes but your studying, on the internet or watching movies, going out as young people do ECT.
I said to her it’s better for her to have one hour of solid dedicated time each day with her daughter where they share beautiful memories than having 4 or more hours just being in the house together.
I’m the only child of a single mom who worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over our heads. I was often left home alone from a fairly young age and would sometimes feel lonely or isolated when my friends weren’t with me. However it really instilled independence in me and as an adult I can handle living alone much better than many of my friends! It also taught me how to cook for myself at a young age and how to handle finances (my mom often left money for me to buy groceries for myself if she wasn’t going to be home much during the week) and I really appreciate those skills now!
I moved abroad when I was 23 and my mom now says she regrets working so much when I was young as she feels she missed out on the time she had with me. I think she feels worse about it than I do though.
You’re working hard to provide for your child, never feel guilty about that!
Where is she when you’re working? An OHSC? Is there something going on there that makes her not want to go?If so is there another arrangement she could be happier with? What are the barriers to working less? 50 hours is a lot. Is the money really needed? Is it possible to cut back on expenses? Or is your employer not budging on moving to a 40 hour week? You can request flexible working conditions due to your circumstances in writing and it is hard to employers to refuse you. If you absolutely have to work the 50 hours then make a strong effort for quality time.
Cut down 10 hours from that 50hr a week, put the dad to work those missing ten hours or put him on child support if he is still alive. Spend time with your kids when they’re young, once they get old and leave the house you will miss all those fun times.
It seems she just needs to be told it’s a part of life its how it is if your using days off and extra time with her and making time for her then honestly she can just stop it sounds harsh but kids need to realize reality is mom and dads have to work it’s the real world not fantasy world
You are doing the best you can. I went through this with my children, especially my daughter when they were young. I felt so guilty but I had to do it, no child support. I was more provider than anything. She is in her 30’s now and realizes why I had to do it and she is in the same position with her children. I wish we could go back to the days of traditional family. Was better for the children. But you are doing what you have to do and are a good Mom. Pat yourself on the back.
She’s a 7yr old, who soon enough will be demanding money to go see her friends and to pay for activities, dont let her young attitude dictate the development of your career, your balance sounds fair and she will need to accept it pandering to her demands when you are being fair will only ensure trouble later as she ages