I don’t know what to do anymore. I love my daughter more than anything, but she is exhausting me. She is 2.5 and has sensory issues, and is delayed in speech. She is receiving therapies, and I have been working with her so much, and I have seen so many improvements… but she is still behind, and her lack of communication and refusal to listen is really starting to take its toll on me. No matter what I do, I can’t get her to focus and listen to me or follow simple instructions. For example, when I tell her to stop throwing things (which she constantly does!), she continues to do it no matter what I do. I can ignore her, take things away, yell, nothing makes her stop doing whatever “bad” thing she’s doing - she’ll just find something else to do to make a mess. Even when I try to do sensory-based play that she really enjoys, she will not follow simple instructions and play nicely (example: if we are playing with sensory water beads or play dough, she will try to take it away from the table and throw it all over the floor, which always ends in me having to clean up a mess and deal with a meltdown because I take the activity away). On top of this, she’s constantly fighting sleep. It’s now almost 12 am and she’s still wide awake. Even if I turn the lights off, she will still jump around on the bed or cry her eyes out if I leave the room. And even if she doesn’t take a nap during the day, she will still fight to go to sleep, despite having a pretty solid bedtime routine (dinner, play, bath, pajamas, milk, lay down). I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted trying to work with her, keep her stimulated throughout the day, and worrying about her development, but even when I do try to relax, she’s either all over me, throwing things around the house or won’t go to sleep. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these issues? She’s supposed to be starting daycare in January, which I hope will help her, but nothing her therapists have suggested has worked so far. Someone, please tell me this gets better, without negative comments, please.
Give her some melatonin… they have liquid stuff at Walmart.
My 7 yrs old has the same issues and as much as I I didn’t want too… I have him on adhd meds and he’s a different kid. Has friends in school hes polite…
Stay strong mama
Mama you need time for you.
Try when and then. When you sit quietly then we will play. Or you have 5 more minutes , 3 min etc then were done with the play dog or what ever you are playing. When she doesn’t listen give her 2 choices, again when then, follow through. Shes just as confused as you are, she cant tell you what she needs. Hold on mama it will get better. Try aba therapy, speech, you are doing great.
Check for food/environmental allergies. Can effect behavior.
My daughters almost three and fights sleep (real night owl). I just started using these because I didn’t want to create a melatonin dependence. They’ve been a game changer.
2.5 is pretty young still… my 3 year old is a shit head lol I’m sure if you just stay consistent and headed in the right direction she’ll get there as she gets older. But it sounds like you could use a break momma, it’s probably the best for both of you.
Sounds a LOT like my oldest when he was that age ( and honestly now sometimes hes almost 9) talk to her pediatrician. My son was diagnosed with high functioning autism, sensory processing disorder and a sleep disorder. He was put on trazadone at 1 until almost 3 but now takes melatonin. Also therapy will help you as well. Feel free to message me with questions! Good luck momma
Just wanted to send you hugs hang in there mama. Have you thought about kids cbd oil.
Cut out any and all red dye, tons of sugar, reduce wheat to none one week, then no dairy one week, then no eggs one week. She sounds like she’s got massive food allergen behavior triggers. Also, go to the local social services and see if you can apply for a home health aide. You need help.
She will develop on her own time I have a son that’s Autistic she’ll give you clues when she’s ready. My son I had to tell him before hand what we were doing. It a schedule, these kids don’t like surprised. Kids thrive on schedules. If you do something off your schedule you say your plans. Like 5 minutes before you do it. Start with a night time routine… it works oh white noise works too.
Check out the autism support groups. They have lots of advice and coffee and wine for tired fed up mamas dealing with kids that need little sleep and have sensory issues and how to redirect behaviors as beat you can. At the very least, you’ll get an understanding ear and lots of sympathy.
My son is the same exactly the same its hard. Same age and all. Ita frustrating but we have to understand our kids need a little mkrw understanding the a normal 2.5 yr old as they arent developmentally the same. Take a deep breath. Relax. A mess can get cleaned later. Dont take toy or play away give her a count down of 5 trys or 5 mins whatever. Eventually she’ll get it. Keep your cool. My son doesnt sleep either and i have a 5 month old also. I havent spelt but 3 hours a night in over 2 yrs. Im exhausted but he needs help sleeping. He needs comfort. Weighted blanket has helped a little with this a a good bath/ night routine. Lavender lotion and a really good massage to calm him down help a lot. He goes right to sleep. (Will he stay asleep idk but it def put him out) lol same routine every night. Since im going thru the same thing please feel free to message me. Always here for yoy, mama! You’re doing a great job!
My son is 4 and has sensory issues as well as anxiety, and adhd. I go through this often. Even at 4 he will fight his sleep as long as possible, and needs constant redirection, correction, and confirmation that I love him. I found what works best for us, is routine. If you’re home with him, then wake up at the same time, breakfast, morning activities, lunch, afternoon, dinner and bedtime routine. I also have a schedule that I use for both myself and the preschool he goes to. He seems to corporate best when he knows what is next, and how long each thing will last. Our bedtime routine is a glass of milk, bath, books, then ‘quiet time’ which is him watching videos on his tablet that he likes for 30 or so mins. After that time is up we lay down together with all the lights off until he falls asleep. This is what works for us, but my suggestion is to find what works for you and your daughter, and stick too it… also having mommy time to yourself once a week or as often as you need, to keep your sanity and be your best mommy. God speed and good luck 
Has she been tested for autism?
Just be patient hang in there take time for your self and try some blankets with velcro different textures with different blankets and less mess yo clean up helped with my daughter when she gets in those moods also vut them into different shapes and patterns it lets her be an artist at dame time
Sounds a lot like autism, unfortunately there’s a huge difference with boys and girls due to lack of research on girls and the variety of symptoms. But like many have said, there’s others who feel the same
Your exhaustion is showing momma… be easy on yourself and your little… our little people are just as frustrated as we are… I can only imagine the frustration of not knowing a better way to express ourselves and feel heard… as much as I despise cleaning playdoh out of wooden floors (they never ever stay on the plastic mats I spread) I embrace the mess and let them play a while, even if that means I walk away biting my tongue over the mess being created… I let them play it out… then have them help clean it up when we are done… I once watched a video that simulates riding in a cart as a child with sensory processing disorder… (check YouTube) I have to remind myself that the world looks a whole lot different through eyes that see differently than we do… finding a way to communicate without driving momma to the edge of sanity would help so much… I’m not aware of your situation from the inside and none of us can entirely fathom all the weight upon your shoulders… I flow in a cycle of guilt often because I just feel there are so many things I can do better… so today was rough, I apologize to them for having a high speed come apart and thank them for having patience with me… I personally wasn’t raised with many healthy coping skills, so I have to create them, and tweak them as new situations arise… hoping that I’m teaching them better methods than I’ve been taught… and at the end of the day, we can’t change much more than our own reaction… just keep trying until you find something that has a positive impact, build from there… if it’s a meltdown when having things taken from them for bad behavior, switch gears and have them do positive things to earn time with the toys they treasure… I hope my rambling helps in some way, but I do feel you momma and have had similar experiences…
This is how my son’s autism is. I understand the whole “cut out all the diet” thing, but if your child is autistic, you can cut everything off and they’ll still behave the same way. It’s frustrating to communicate for them because they can’t. They try and when they can’t, they misbehave. I’ve had to step away and calm down because I get so frustrated with him sometimes. It’s ok to step away
My daughter was the exact same way at that age & she was diagnosed with adhd .
My deaf daughter was so similar, this was years ago and there was neither help nor information. My husband was no help and I had another child who was asthmatic. Life was tough and I felt isolated and exhausted. She would scream in high pitched tones, refuse to sleep,was a very picky feeder, the list goes on. We can all overload you with all sorts of “methods” to overcome all the communication problems you are experiencing, but I wont, infact heres a bit of old fashioned advice-it helped me. Outdoor play,walks ,tired kids are quicker to eat, and sleep. Stop beating yourself up, you care enough to ask for help. Get some “YOU” time.
Wait, this isn’t normal 2.5 year old child behaviour?
There’s nothing much that we can do but sending your virtual hugs. Please get all tests done & put her to necessary therapy. You can do it, she’s your daughter and I know you won’t give up on her.
If she’s already receiving therapy and your feel like it’s not helping, if you haven’t already. I would express that to the therapist for a different approach. Sounds like autism and I know sometimes they won’t diagnose it until the age of 3 but when she’s throwing things try moving her away from what she’s doing. Find things she likes to do like watch videos maybe a snack or something she might like. You not alone in this struggle. Try and keep things hidden that you know she will make a mess of I know it’s hard but I had to remove a lot of things or hide them for the same reason. As far as sleep I would take to your pediatrician, there are melatonin gummies and liquid medication to help with sleep, I’ve seen some moms say that’s the only way for there kids to sleep. And I’ve seen posts on here about kids with sleep disorders taking medication for sleep.
Behaviors occur often due to inefficient sleep. Look into child sleep consultants.
So my daughter is/was the same. She’s 11 now and diagnosed ADHD and Autistic. She is high functioning and eventually learned how to talk. When she couldn’t communicate and wasn’t medicated life was a nightmare and I cried everyday through her toddlerhood. There was no punishment great enough to keep her in line, and the older and more frustrated she got, the more damage she did. I eventually had to lock her in her room for safety purposes, and she would lay on the floor and try to kick the door down. Daycare wasn’t great. She was too stimulated to socialize or listen, but at least they didn’t ask much of her, so she wasn’t dangerous. First year in school she destroyed classrooms everyday and other kids had to be removed for their safety. Therapy seemed pointless, but yet she progressed, and continues to receive speech and OT to this day. I got her diagnosed (adhd) and medicated asap after starting school, just so they could control her long enough to teach her. The ASD diagnosis didn’t happen until age 10 when, socially, she really started to fall behind the other kids, and ADHD wasn’t explaining enough of her behaviors anymore. Her learning delay and work avoidance behavior is significant. She still has behavior issues, but most are at school. She is rarely violent anymore because she has words now.
My youngest, 20 mo, is having trouble communicating and he throws tantrums daily like she did. We are training him on voice buttons with pictures attached, just like Bunny the Dog (look her up on YouTube, she’s amazing). I hope he will be able to use these buttons to learn speech as well as communicate his needs, because he (like my daughter) won’t use signs. It does get better for most of us. Hopefully communication will come. If you need breaks, take breaks. If you need to hold her bedroom door shut while she freaks out, do it. Make a calm down corner where she can tantrum with beanbag chairs and pillows and blankets and lots of pictures of different feelings. Get a chart of feelings and work with her everyday to show you how she is feeling on the chart. Starting early will help her understand as she grows, so she learns how to self evaluate and communicate her feelings. Don’t get into an activity if you don’t have the energy to clean it up. You spend your time fighting 10 million other little battles everyday. It’s ok to let some stuff go. I would prepare yourself to get eval’d for ADHD and ASD in the future. Keep up with the therapy, it’s 100% necessary even if it feels useless. Get help. Lean on friends and family. Your journey is more arduous than theirs and it’s ok to admit that. Seriously though, create a safe space room/gated corner/packnplay -if you can- to put her in where she can make a mess and scream and kick and not hurt you or destroy stuff. It will save you a lot headaches. That will be her timeout space. She can get out when she can calm down and “be safe” with mommy. As for sleep… melatonin? Ask the Dr. Good luck!
(PS Consider this when having more kids. For real. I was hoping they’d come out different and they didn’t, but at least they’re 10 years apart.)
this sounds like my son who has autism to be honest shes a child thats what children do
You both need therapy! Therapy for You will help you with dealing with her. You both may need therapy too. It will help you both. Don’t be afraid to ask for more help.
Wow that sounds exhausting. You did not mention if you have her father or any family member that can help you out. It really sounds like you absolutely completing need some time to relax and refuel. There’s no way you can do this alone. Your little pinball cutie obviously has special needs. Most counties have special needs services that offer parents respite services and will pay for someone to care for your child. Every parents has their limits and if you do not take care of yourself, how are you going to be the best parent possible. My county
No 2.5 year old really listens. Terrible 2s. It’ll get better momma. Take a break, go in another room and take a deep breath. Call a therapist so you can get your emotions out. You’ll feel better. Ask a friend or family member to take the baby for a few hours and get some you time. Smoke a joint or take a hot bath. You got this!!
My daughter is the same way all day long. She is 3. I started giving her 1/2 of a 3mg melatonin at night so that she will actually fall asleep without all the fight and seems to be helping sleep wise. I have also found that if I allow her to sit at the table and color or play with playdoh or putty she is content for atleast 1/2 hour. It is hard and stressful especially since I have 2 other kids as well. I have talked to the drs and none of the things they have recommended have helped either.
I have no answers only suggestions, if she loves her play but throws everything on the floor why dont you move the play from the table to the floor, let her throw it but explain to her she needs to be gentle, she is still only very young and as she cant express herself as much with the lack of words she must be so frustrated she cant let you know how she is feeling, try explain this it playdough we will be playing with it for 10 or 15 minutes then i will be tidying it up and i would like you to help, maybe get a box decorated with something she really likes, get it out when it is time to clean up say its clean up time now and i would like you to help, show her how you clean it up and ask her to put some in the box too, maybe sing or play the clean up song too.
If you have a family member let them help you even if it is only for an hour, go for a walk or do something on your own, maybe ring a doctor have a chat about how you are feeling, it could also be post natal depression, yes your child is two and a half but it could hit at any time. Best of luck
Hang in there, love her through everything. As tough as it may be, never wish away time you can never get back. Little ones pick up on everything, if she knows she is getting to you she will push harder. She will come around in her own time. Hopefully you have that no matter what friend to help you through the tough stuff. Whenever you can get down to her level, talk to her gently, do the best you can to keep calm and show her you want to make things easier for both of you as badly as she wants to understand things and not be frustrated too. Good luck to you
I found that cutting sugar helped my son be a whole new kid… Everyone in my house was at their wits end with the violent fits and non stop tantrums and cutting sugars turned it all around and being careful not to give him foods with red dye…
Every child is unique , but I will tell you what helped my daughter who was the same way . adapting whatever bothers her because she can’t change her feelings and is acting out due to frustrations. Deep pressure and lots of stimulation . Before bed deep pressure massage with lavender lotion. Press down on head and shoulders. Press her between two pillows like a sandwich. Also carry weighted items . Maybe a baby or a bucket of toys from one room to the next. It’s very frustrating, most outgrow by age five.
When she is throwing stuff tell her once to stop she continues u dont say anything u take her bu her hand & put her in time out, dont let her out until 2 1/2 minutes is up & she has to say sorry for throwing stuff & then made to clean it up…also give her a huge hug & kiss & tell her u love her but her behavior is not acceptable
I would highly suggest asking this question to adult Autistics who can give you valuable insight to what your daughter might be seeking sensory wise!!
I recommend the following groups (will nest them in the comments).
Goodness my daughter is exaclty same apart from the sleep problem
I recently read a book called autism goes to school by dr sharon a mitchell. I got it on google books its free. Its a good read and it gives you some good insight and ideas to help with a child that does have such behaviors. Sometimes they need visual commands rather than verbal.
Try your hardest to get her on a sleep schedule. 7:30pm in bed. Just keep doing it… dont give up. She needs more sleep. Try warm bath and low lights and a book. I promise after consistency and a week of getting caught up on sleep she will have better behavior
- Find respite care, so you can take a break and practice self care. 2. Try to get the sleep issues fixed first. Kids without enough sleep act out, no matter their neuro status. 3. Just keep pushing. Keep up with the therapies, routine is important. Just keep going.
I recently watched a documentary on coping as parents with children on the spectrum, one of the activities they ask the parents to do, is get involved in whatever there child is doing, standing staring at a wall, spinning around, screaming, they found that this was the only way that the child could express themselves so rather join them in their sphere than you try get them in yours, I’ve done it with my little person and although he isn’t on the spectrum I have found he is more willing to communicate with me after than if I force the issue at the beginning. I know it will be messy, but it maybe worth a try? Good luck mommy, my heart is with you 
Have you had her tested for autism? A lot of these issues point to autism
Have her ears been checked thoroughly!? We’re facing some of these issues right now, and working on getting into therapies!! But one of our biggest issues we are having to address first is the fluid in her ears that we think may be hindering her hearing too!!
Melatonin is a gift sent from above, just gonna put that out there, gonna beat u Karen’s to it, but if it makes me a bad mom cause I give my crazy 3yr old it before bed to calm his ass down then so be it, guess ima bad mom. Lmao
I’d make an appointment with her pediatrician and see if they have any suggestions, I did woth my son (my crazy 3 yr old) and we got sent to. A development dr who sent us to a autism dr lol doesn have autism but yea…if she’s not in OT try getting her in that. Ot helps woth sensory stuff. Least my sons does. Good luck, your not alone, stand ur ground and don’t give in
My son is the same in so many ways he is in speech and occupational therapy and has sensory issues as well, first and foremost she knows exactly what youre saying and what youre asking and she knows exactly how to cooperate you would be amazed! Maybe try and look into I think they are called compression vests for children with occupational needs in calming down and feeling secure to focus and complete preferred tasks like your sensory play. Try 30 mins on and 30 mins off, it helps my son alot hes used one off and on for 3 years since he started prek. You really are doing everything youre supposed to be doing for her, except sticking to your guns when it comes to the discipline. I know it sucks and it seems shea intolerable but repetition and calmly repeatedly reinforcing time outs and bedtime is crucial to kids taking us seriously. I know youre tired and exhausted and want to run away some days probably but once she gets youre not going to give in and come in the bedroom or give her beads to throw all over or let her up from timeout from screaming and throwing until she sits the entire 3 mins for the whole 3 mins or however youre doing that shes going to continue her fits because she knows you’re gonna be right there trying to ease her when she needs to be taking you seriously! Overall, youre doing wonderful. Keep up the amazing work! It’s difficult but not impossible 
Have you tried a weighted vest? My son has sensory issues and that actually calmed him down but she does have a lot of autism signs my 12 yr old has high functioning autism and had all the issues u listed ur daughter does.
Sounds like a 2 year old. They throw things and don’t listen she is testing you … Try melitonen to help her sleep.
My older son had autism and sensory delays… My 2 year old has adhd and is quite difficult at time… After reading a lot of info, disciplining him and trial and error I have found that if I fake cry when he throws things, spits his drinks or hits me he instantly stops. I read about it but didn’t believe it would work but omg… It’s been a few weeks now and his behavior has improved drastically… I don’t want him to think crying gets him his way so I stay pretty stern on that but teaching him empathy towards me and others seems to really work. It’s worth a shot? I know it’s a tough age in general so there is so right or wrong answer… Kids are so so different
No advice, but if you find something that works, plleeassee let me know 
currently dealing with everything issue you listed plus some with my 2.5yo boy. While also caring for my newborn daughter 
So some encouragement my son really struggled and he is doing leaps better .
Weight blanket.
Stick with a routine 7:30 in bed elimination of naps.
No sugar after 1 pm period .
Also have you tried giving unsweetened tea with caffeine?? That helps my son he actually has speech issues , education delays and isn’t autistic at all . He has adhd and was so frustrated with lack of language his behaviors were terrible!! And have you called inland regional center they can be a huge help . You have this mama . Praying for peace for you . Keep up the constant structure and routine. Try playing with diet eliminating sugars and sometimes even dairy .
Sounds exactly like my 2 ur old son!!! It’s what they call “terrible twos” and literally called that for a reason!!! Hang in there. I also lose my mind more days than not but we gotta remember IT GETS BETTER
Have you tried heavy work? It’s literally loading a laundry basket full of just heavy things and having them push it around, sometimes we think they have too much overload of senses when really they need added sensory. Look up sensory input.
I have a 6 yr old special needs and 7 yr old autistic, speech delay and learning disabilities. I think you’re kinda being selfish with your way of thinking. That poor baby is TWO…they don’t have the capabilities to regulate their emotions and everything is so damn overwhelming to them especially at that age. They often do need redirection and help focusing or getting back to what they’re doing. Some like weighted blankets, my girls don’t. They can’t deal with bright lights for long, too much noise or activity can be over stimulating and trigger meltdowns. Sleep issues are a big issue too and our pediatrician just had us give the girls low dose of melatonin before bed. Instead of planning everything and trying to micromanage the child, instead let her lead play time or what she wants to do. If she gets too tired its gonna cause those fits and meltdowns. Temperatures and textures are typically issues too and so we focus on soft things and have to make sure they’re comfy in their environment. Changes are hard for them to deal with and its super important to keep to a schedule. Limit any sugar intake as best as possible. Keep up with therapies
Zarbees melatonin, my 3yo had delayed speech and was out of control but as he gets older hes starting to calm down he also started pre k and being around other kids seemed to really help
I suggest doing a sensory corner or area that you can send her to to calm down with different textures she enjoys, soft animals, you could have a sticker pad where she put on and take off laminated pieces as she breathes or you could also use magnets. There are different toys you can get that will keep her entertained and allow her to settle. All of this should be done when she’s not behaving but should never have negative connotations with. You don’t want her to think it’s a punishment because it’s going to help her start to self regulate better. It should also help her calm down around bed/nap time, you could do quiet time where there is no screens on, you take time to settle and she takes time to settle. Screens should not be watched 2 hours from bedtime because blue light stimulates your mind and keeps you awake. For sensory play there are large mats you can get, or even a sheet or go outside and sit in the sunshine while you do these things but you shouldn’t be punishing her for having fun. Kids get messy and make messes, it’s up to you to help her find safe, appropriate ways to do so. I also highly highly suggest getting a play area, you can find some on Amazon so you can put her down in a safe place when you need without worrying about her getting out
When she is having those days or moments, remove all harmful things and leave her alone. Sound harsh? No, it is the truth. If you leave her with a plastic cup, a plastic bowl, and some squishy balls in a safe room, she will be just fine. No noise, no tv, no bright lights…just let her be. All of the therapies in the world will not help you understand your child. If you watch a video on dementia training…
- Put on a pair of headphones, turn the music up as loud as it will go without busting your eardrums on heavy metal.
- Put dark tape over a pair of water goggles and put them on.
- Put on a pair of oversized steel toed boots.
- Now put some oven mitts on your hands.
- Now add a teaspoon of salt on one side of your mouth, and a teaspoon of flour on the other side of your mouth. Close your mouth for 10 seconds. Now open your mouth and try to say the following:
One two three four
Now move around the room and put on a shirt with buttons…
With the oven mitts on
Listen to the instructions…cant hear them over the music?
Now you have walked 3 minutes in your child with sensory issues world.
Let her be. If she wants to throw things, give her soft velcrow balls to throw at a wall.
If she wants to have a meltdown
Let her be.
Do you have other children? Curious if you have a point of reference for your behavioral expectations of a 2.5 year old. Honestly, she sounds feisty… but totally normal to me.
We got prescription for melatonin after similar problems.I sent her nursery and she seems a bit better and i can have some time off as well.Rutine and practice and in time will get better.Try get your child tested as may be other problems there.We are not on the autism spectrum.Shes is 3 and we are facing the same problems. Try nursery rhymes and small animal play and books and let her lead you in what play to do.If you try to enforce stuff my daughters gets annoyed.Hang in there it will get better.
My daughter would only take 10 minute cat naps throughout the day and wouldn’t sleep at night. 10mg MELATONIN, NOT THE KIDDIE STUFF like 1mg or 3 or 5, 1O WHOLE MGS worked along with no stimuli- meaning no tv, light, sound, nothing on in the room but darkness. It definitely helps. Benadryl too. Both if necessary. Sounds like autistic behavior as well.
This is l normal behavior for a 2.5 year old. I suggest start having some consequences for example if you take the playdough away from the table we will put it away. It will take a lot of repitition for her to start remembering. You need to be very consistent and even when she cries you need to follow through.
The good news is she has an amazing mama.
Sounds like my daughter, she’ll be 3 next month. She’s definitely a big ball of energy that doesn’t sleep either lol. She’s speech delayed also, I don’t think she has sensory issues though. Not my first rodeo. Hang in there, my oldest was speech delayed also but she’s good now. Once she talks, she’ll talk until your ears want to fall off and won’t stop haha.
My great-niece is now 4, but when she was about 2 she was delayed in speech & had sensory issues. We found that she would try to self regulate by using a trampoline or slide. Her speech therapist had us doing basic sign language so she had a way to communicate w/us. She’s gotten better about some stuff, but there’s still days where she gets overloaded. That’s when we try to have a time-out, not a regular time-out but where we hold her, she likes me to sing, just decompress a little & she’s better. If there’s too much stimuli I know that can set things off. Is there someone that can watch her for an hr or so so that you can have quiet time? I know it’s of little help, but things will get better. Hugs!
Shes only 2.5. I can tell you it gets better. My 2 year old is a busy lady does basically the same thing and even has separation anxiety. She will put thing in the trash and I always clap and praise her. Anything she does good get excited about it! Hang in there, by the time shes 4-5 they usually have a easy time learning simple rules.
I have a autistic 3 year old what helped was
Weighted blanket
No tags/seams in clothes (surprisingly helps him not be so tense)
Giving him two options at a time
A tent for needed isolation time
Omega-3 vitamins
Immunocal and serenT all natural supplements (expensive but worth it as it helps regulate temperament and focus)
I have three boys all speech delayed, one learning delayed, and communication disorder, one possibly ADHD. My middle boy never slept he still can run on like zero sleep. It didn’t take a toll on me until he was 3 1/2 and I was pregnant with my youngest I couldn’t keep my eyes open and I would wake up at 1am or 3am and he’d be into everything! We still have a 50/50 chance that he sleeps through the night. Nothing like waking up to your child staring at you in the dark lmao. Ask a doctor about melatonin it is all natural but it doesn’t mean you should give crazy high doses. My boys started at 1/4 mg.
Look up how to calm a child with sensory processing disorder. Alot of helpful information. Also remember they can’t communicate with us because they can’t even process what’s going on around them. If you don’t have anxiety you probably won’t understand. It’s slot for a child to control themselves without all these crazy feelings inside of them. They need your love and patients, ye so know it’s not easy. My son chews on a sensory chewy it helps him quiet a bit espessically when he needs to concentrate for school. He is VERY rough and likes hurting people so I have to keep my eyes on him. He also is calmed by pain/squeezing. His specialist recommended I get him a weighted blanket and when he tried things and hurts people or is going way to wild to wrap him in the blanket and bear hug him. Don’t try to hurt him but squeeze him pretty tight. It’s weird because after a few seconds he lets out this big sigh and relaxes. I can’t remember what she had me look up but there are a few different ways to hold them and apply pressure that calms hyper wild ones. Also just knowing your child is 2 and taking a breath and realizing you won’t always be in control of her moods or actions and sometimes she needs do things her way even if it means cleaning up a giant mess at the end of it. I really really had to learn this one! A control freak though. Sometimes I push my kids harder than I should trying to get them to do sensory work, or speech, or trying to get them to learn their sounds. It’s hard because we want them to learn and understand things but our minds work different so it’s doesn’t always work out that way. I could go on and on as I have been dealing with this stuff for 8 years and it took me 3 years before someone would test my oldest son because they told me he is a boy he will learn at a slow pace blah blah blah. And I was right he has the most delays but he goes to speech 3 times a week and we work on saying sentences and sounds at home. It takes some time but it does get easier to understand and deal with. Good luck momma and take one day at a time.
I would look into Auditory processing disorders, and Autism very similar but different… also idk where your from but would look into local county programs…in California we have Inland regional center and they offer many services to special needs kids free and speech therapy as well with fine motor and gross motor skills. I have 2 kids 1 developmentally delayed and 1 with Autism with sensory issues I’ve been where you are
Hey momma, you sound just like me, and it does get better. My youngest is being tested next year. Best advice I can give you about play is repeat that play do stays on the table or on a certain spot on the floor(we play on floor a lot cause she can move around better without falling) and if she takes it away from that spot, walker her right back and tell her no it stays here over and over. We also use sign language in our house to help with communication with her. Bed time is still rough but every night at the same time we watch jelly fish on YouTube with a bottle and I just lay next to her and gently run my finger across her eye brows( some nights I have to pick her up and put her back into bed with me a few times but it’s like play we have to repeat it over and over to get the point. You get to frustrated it’s ok just take a step back and breathe and try again it’s ok if she cry’s a bit, some days I spend a lot of time just taking a breath cause terrible twos suck
I have no advice I can offer other than a Facebook page I follow callwd fathering autism. You might be able to get some good ideas from them.
Use DO commands instead of DONT commands. (Its like saying don’t push the RED button!! The first thing u wanna do is push it.lol) eg. Push the green button!!
I live in KY. Theres a program here called 1st steps. It has an array of therapists and more for various reasons. My son has aspergers. Before diagnosed that it was said adhd and mood disorder. Which then lead me to learn about a autistic woman Temple Grandel. I find any parent with a special needs of any kind… To watch her biography movie. And listen to some of her lectures. She gives great insight into our kids minds…and how to parent them. I dont hqve exact advice…besides understand your kids mind and how and why for her reasons. My son woukd get too overwhelmed and even with 4 other kkds in the house then… He woukd need some quiet time. So he woukd climb in my lap and put a blanket over us like a tent…and we woukd stare at each other… For how ever long he needed… Till he would breath slower…feel comfortable…and finally smile and we would make silly faces. It didnt cure everything… But it helped in those moments when he was so young. We found other things as he grew older. He’s 20 now…and we may just listen to a crazy heavy metal song he likes. I felt once i watched Temple some… I understood him a bit and his reasons…and i could advocate for him best. My patience would run thin some days and still do. he couldn’t even stand ro hear the ticking of a clock… So i took them all away… I do wish you the best. Do not be afraid to have a therapist of your own as well. It takes a toll on mommys… And a mom has to be in her best self to care for her littles
Have you considered medicinal cbd oil that might chill her out
The small trampoline is great for getting out energy. Tell her what she is doing right and consequences of her choices.
One of my children has Autism, our lives were like this only a few years ago. We go to Thearapies and day care (starting kinder in 2021). It’s hard work mama, but it gets better. It’s never going to be easy, your still going to fight but as their communication expands it will help and redirect it appropriately. The Thearapies will help and work, it just takes time. Just breathe, take it minute at a time
If she’s struggling to go to sleep, speak with a pediatrician. She might not be making enough melatonin to get drowsy, they can prescribe some to help… with sleep, comes renewed hope.
For bedtime melatonin can be great for sensory little ones. My daughter is 2.5 and has CP with some sensory issues — bedtime before melatonin was actual HELL. Her neurologist recommended .5 of the liquid 30min - 1 hour before bedtime and she’s asleep in 30 minutes.
I am a Behavior Health Professional. Though I cannot give medical advice I can give suggestions as I deal with children with these same issues everyday. Some of the throwing and tantrums is normal at that age and this is a good time to set limits. Positive reinforcement is when you praise the things you want to see instead of focusing on stuff you don’t. For example. When a toy is thrown into floor have them pick it up and if they don’t you pick up and say if you throw it on the floor you will not play with this toy for today. When it happens. Don’t say anything just try to get them to pick up if not you pick up and put away BUT don’t let them have access to that for the duration you said. When the child is playing good give lots and lots of praise. For example:. Honey I love how nice you are playing. And give hugs or even have a piece of paper with you that you can put stickers on when you catch them doing something right. Then at the end of the day count the stickers with the child and maybe have a special treat or mom snuggle time, you can create your own rewards. As far as speech she may get frustrated because she cannot communacate what she wants so give her other ways. Go on line and look up American Sign Language then learn and teach her a few basic signs. Water, eat, sleep, toy, mom, dad, ect… That may help and when using it say the word so she doesn’t get lazy to talk she will just have two ways to communicate and it will come in handy.
Sleep when she sleeps. If you have other kids it may be hard. Melatonin is a great resource. I saw a couple people mention CBD oil. NO. Too young and you don’t know what issues she has such as allergies or other things that may not balance it. A lot of the kids I work with take melatonin. Not medical advice just suggestion on why not to do CBD so young. I am allergic to CBD and I can tell you I don’t feel good she cannot
Maybe look into doing a parenting course. If you have a local family support centre they would be a good place to start to find one which appeals to you.
I can relate hun my daughter started this at 2 she is now 4 and still like this her school has also noticed it if she in nursery maybe talk to them and talk to the speech therapist my daughters school and speech therapist have now referred her to a specialist doctor talk to her school and they will do an assessment hope this helps and good luck hang in there xx
Sounds more like ADHD with Autistic behaviour patterns. My daughter is the exact same and is under assessment for it now. I won’t medicate her unless lives are at stake. Inbox me if you want advice because I can get my daughter to sleep at night xxxx
Ice pops help my child relax
Put a plastic sheet on the floor and play on there with sensory n play doh
See if you can get out late afternoon n they can run around, then if you drive take them for a chill out drive
Relax before bed with anything relaxing, bath, massage…
If you need help explain how she is to your gp and that you have done these things and they helped or not
Around the throwing and sleep when my child was 8 and I could not stay up another night and day I took them to a and e early hours of the morning, cahms emergency team say us and prescribed melatonin
You know your child…
She sounds exactly like my 2 and a half year old… Nothing wrong, just fiesty. To me it sounds like you’re describing every 2 year old ever and I don’t mean that to be belittling
My son is 2 he does the same thing . He loves to throw toys and throw whatever he can , he can’t talk at all , he makes baby sounds , he only eats pasta, and chicken nuggets
My son is the same way. He will get obsessed with something he’s going and not stop. He hasn’t been diagnosed with anything but he won’t quit until I take whatever away from him. He will try to pull our dogs tail no matter how many times I tell him no, yell at him, redirect him etc. I just have to separate them and then my son laughs. He doesn’t care. He just turned 3. Some days he’s worse than others but luckily he sleeps well at night. Hang in there. I would talk to your pediatrician on all these concerns.
I do a reward system. My daughter is at this age and still has these issues. I also grew up with my brother who was diagnosed with autism early on. My brothers doctor said to treat him as normal as possible. Just because he’s autistic doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand the concept of time out or the corner when he’s bad, I explain to him what he did and why it was bad and made me upset. It’s an everyday thing, my stepdaughter has the same issues and she eventually learned that when she throws stuff and hurts people or she refuses to try to listen that she’ll have to sit in the corner. Eventually she got so tired of me putting her in that corner every time she did those bad behaviors, I haven’t had an issue since. Persistence baby, xoxo, don’t be so hard on yourself or your little. You’re doing the best you can!
I work with (violent) developmentally disabled individuals. Try looking into a weighted blanket and brushing her.
Oh my… memories! First. This to shall pass! As hard and impossible as things feel it will fade away… in time. Keep going ur doing a seriously fantastic job!!! No for real ur! I know mom’s going throught the exact same thing. One has children’s aid in her life cause she’s a spanker. The other mom having the same issue is just ignoring them and giving her child free rein of everything. U sweet lady are doing ur job very VERY well! Just keep going. One foot in front of the other. Remember this to shall pass… say it out loud when U need to! My little overly sensitive, hyper active, non verbal, seriously hard to handle daughter is 17 now. She is still a force to be reckoned with but that’s just who she is. Determind to do things her way in her time. Speaks her mind and has tons to say. She’s sweet and helpful and a super hard worker. Those annoying traits she had as a toddler still show up from time to time but it always passes. Ur daughter will grow up and grow out of some of these annoying hard to handle things but one thing will always stay the same. The unbreakable love U have for her! These things U are going through will most likely happen to her in her life… grandbabies!!! Hee hee! I tell my 3 kids all about the terrible kid stuff they did then I tell them it’s ok cause their kids are going to be just like they were. Lol. Suckers 
keep going girl U got this!!!
Please get her evaluated by a pediatric neurologist if you havent already done so. Seems she could be on autism spectrum. I know from experience. If neurologist diagnosis her with disabilities contact your school district because most States are responsible for children when they turn 3 years old to help with their education. It is crucial to get help as soon as you can. My son started school when he was 3 years old and by the time he was 6 he was mainstreamed in our school district. I can’t stress enough how important it is for early intervention. It has done wonders for my son.
Also just a bit of advice for everyone here, if you think something is not right with your child and your pediatrician says it’s normal behavior do not listen to them. Take matters into your own hands and get the help your child needs. You know your child better than anyone. Especially a doctor who only sees them a few minutes every year or when they are sick.
I have 2 children with autism and one of them has sensory integration disorder. I feel you and what you are going through. I have been right where you are. First know as your child matures it will get better. I put my children into therapy of all types. One particular worked above and beyond anything I could imagine. At first I was taken back and was like how is what yall are doing worth all this money but within 2 visits I saw the biggest change. My child wasn’t screaming as much, acting out as much and she was starting to sleep better. I would 100% suggest swing therapy and music therapy. Sounds silly I know but it works wonders. The swing is kinda like a cocoon and you place them inside of it completely and gently swing them for awhile. Also find songs that are soothing and place earbuds or headphones on your child and there anxiety starts to lessen. Also at night get you one of those ocean wave CDs and play that next to her bed. Trust me it works. Good luck and hang in there. My kids are 25 and 27 now and are doing great and my daughter still does music therapy to this day when she becomes overwhelmed.
My youngest son is 3. He has sensory processing disorder, speech delay, and [unofficial] adhd.
(Numbering to keep thoughts in order not to be hateful)
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Just because your child has different needs doesn’t mean they’re exempted from punishment for misbehavior (took me YEARS to learn this. I also have a 7 year old with autism and severe adhd).
Just because she doesnt talk much doesn’t mean that she doesnt understand what you’re saying.
Get on her level. Look her in the eye.
Give her a warning in a stern/firm tone. Tell her if she does x again she’ll go to time out.
When she does it again put her in time out. Reaffirm why she’s in time out.
If/when she gets up, either pause or restart her time, silently move her back.
When her time is up. Tell her you were in time out because of x. Give her a hug and let her resume play.
Make sure you stay completely calm. Kids are smart. When they see they’re pushing your buttons they’ll continue to see how far they get before you give in.
This doesn’t solve misbehavior overnight but it’s part of a process. (I’m getting to the rest) -
Praise good behavior. Celebrate it. Get super excited and make a huge deal about it. Sounds ridiculous but it helps. I swear it.
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Communication is a huge issue. If a child can’t communicate they’re likely to act out to do so. We printed out pictures to make communication tiles for things he needs/wants regularly. A sippy cup. Pic of the snack box. Pic of the tv. Pic of the bathtub. Pic of the yard…the potty, a diaper, toys ect.
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I’ve found that just sensory based play, like sensory bins to not be “enough” thier bodies seek out “heavy work” they seek falling and jumping and deep pressure. Try a sensory swing. Get a kangaroo ball. Give her somewhere safe/appropriate to climb and jump or “fall” I’d also recommend waffle blocks…she can make a tunnel to crawl through. She can make cubes to climb on. It works wonders for my kids. They enjoy making cubes and pushing them around.
Girl been there my son is 13 years old now . Message privately
That ANCESTRAL CURSE IS NOW BROKEN IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME AMENE
Sounds like you are doing everything you can. A few suggestions would be redirection when behaviors start. Melatonin gummies are amazing to naturally help with sleep. The best thing we did was keeping toys minimal. Keep everything out of reach and sight and only pull out one activity at a time. When done with that activity she has to help clean up before the next one. There will be fits but not reacting will soon keep them shorter. Sometimes they are waiting for a reaction, don’t give in. All this is easier said than done and it takes time. Your a wonderful mom and it will get better!
Keep stronge mama, kids will break u.
I saw someone else mentioned sugar. Monitor her diet, see if sugar is a culprit. Even today if my 14 yo has a can of coke he gets jacked up. Its so weird.
Is she receiving ABA services? A meeting with a BCBA might be helpful. They will give you some helpful tools to better handle these behaviors. Also, mama you’re doing great, its okay to be exhausted! Give yourself some grace and find something for just you!
I’m gonna sound like a crazy person, but, have you tried turning on the show cocomelon…my son is a wild one also and the absolute only thing I’ve found that gets him to calm himself is tht ridiculous cartoon. And I know a handful of other kids that will stop for cocomelon . He also is behind in speech and forwhatever reason he’ll repeat words tht cocomelon sings.
Yikes! 2 is a rough enough age without the added sensory stuff. Advice is cheap so here’s my 2 cents worth. We’re in a great area to get hooked up with services if you aren’t already. Even if you are already set up with services, sounds like you may need a little more help. There’s no shame in wanting the best possible start for your baby girl. My sweet prince is now 15 but the days you’re describing seem like just yesterday. Being a critical care nurse helped me understand his diagnosis; it did nothing to help manage the moments when you’re both crying out of sheer frustration. Children’s Mercy has literally a clinic for everything. They got us hooked up with services in the school district for preschool; PT/OT; speech therapy; hearing aids when my wild child was ready for them; counseling. They worked with us every step of the way. Sometimes we had to be persistent to get what was needed. It’s a busy place - calling back instead of waiting for a call, etc. Have you tried calling CMH and asking for a Social Worker? They’re a wealth of information to get you started toward the next step. With COVID making appointments more difficult, be upfront about being at your wits end. Be honest about needing direction. If you get shut down, call back. It was difficult sometimes to get things lined up for my son; so worth it though. Hope this helps. Hang in there. Best of luck.