Talk calmly with her. Don’t push her away. She’ll rebel even further & then you’ll never what could happen next. If you try to control her too much, she’ll just spiral out. Been there & done that with my parents. Didn’t end well.
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Hmm let’s see, you keep her on a tight leash and dont let her be a teenager. Stop being so strict and the sneaky behavior will stop. Speaking from experience
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If you want her to quit lying, then give her more space. Being controlling and restrictive only makes things harder and the way longer. I grew up in a home I wasn’t aloud to do ANYTHING. And yes I mean anything. No makeup, no shaving till a certain age, I couldn’t talk on the house phone. I couldn’t have friends over, or go to friends homes, I couldn’t “have boyfriends” I couldn’t go to after school activities, or play in the sports I wanted, I couldn’t have a phone period, And the only thing that did when I hit the right age was resent them. Now I’m grown with two kids of my own and me and my father have zero relationship with each other. Teenagers are teenagers. They need trust and they need their own zone. Of course she feels the need to lie. You don’t trust her with anything to start with lol
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Weve raised 7 kids your going to have to give a lil to get a lil.you want her to come to you with the big important stuff.she needs to feel you trust her with making some of the desisions.shes going to continue to do these things.she isnt going to suddenly stop dating boys or using social media now.so as her mother its your job to teach her to do both safely with good boundaries and rulesif you dont she will just get sneakier and i know youd much rather be the one giving her advice on both than ger seeking it from her peers.dont cut the rope momma just let her earn a lil slack.if she cant date boys could she have one over to your home to do homework well suoervised?if she cant have a snapchat you can police is it better she sneaks and sets it uo without turning off her location or makes friends with weirdos on it?
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The strict parents sometimes create this behavior. Loosen up on the kid
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Loosen the rein a little bit.
If you be so strict your daughter won’t tell you anything. Let her make her own decisions - to an extent obviously. Build a good relationship with her so If there is any issues she will come to you about it and not feel the need to lie 
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Wow… these comments are NOT IT!! First of all I have been lenient and understanding with my kid and guess what? He still
Lies!! Being strict or not does not stop them
From being kids and wants to get away with stuff. How about we help a little with advice instead of full on judgement from the get go with “you are to strict comments”.
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Ok, my advice is open the lines of communication. Go to her and say right now, today you have a clean slate. This is day one. I need you to stop lying and tell the truth, this means I want you to be able to come to me and feel like you can talk to me openly and honestly without consequences. ( that doesn’t mean her actions won’t have consequences) that means whatever we talk about stays between us. She needs to know that you are her safe place. That she can come to you with the scary, the good the bad abs the ugly. That you will have her back. But things have gotten so out of hand where do you start? So start with a do over. Give her a chance. Wipe the slate clean. Give abs take. Give her a chance to tell you what she thinks she needs from you right now and you tell her what you expect of her right now. Give in a little and give her something that maybe you can let up a little on. Is there maybe something that she is wanting that you can maybe give into right now that she can maybe see that you’re trying to? That it’s give and take? Sometimes we all just need a do over
That’s how you create kids who become sneaky, wouldn’t you rather know what’s going on in your child’s life? And know that they’re being safe rather than them going behind your back and lying about it. That’s how kids get hurt, parents create sneaky kids who go out when they’re asleep and go with strangers, and party and all that. You should want your child to call you when they’re in trouble, but at this rate, they won’t.
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My daughters cellphones all have family link installed on them. So they cant download anything without my permission. They have their gmail, phone calls, text messages, kids messenger and pokemon go. They are also not allowed snap chat because of the format and how the conversations cannot be tracked or monitored. I gave my 13 year old a big of leniency and trust this last summer, with her ipad that my mother gave her for her birthday, and it turns out she was on discord and a couple other ones Id never even heard of before, talking to grown ass men pretending to be little boys and the said conversations were quickly getting mature for her age. So the tablet got taken away and so did the cellphone. She very much understands that electronics are a privilege and not a right. She was the only one that abused her privilege and got it taken away. I dont care if it comes across as overly strict. She is a child. I am her parent and it is my job to protect her. As far as the boyfriend thing goes 
they will do it at school when youre not around anyway. Itd be a better approach to have open communication and regular conversations, so that if she makes a mistake or something happens, she’ll be willing to come to you for help, instead of being afraid of you.
So basically everyone is saying you mustnt be strict and let your kids do what they want at 13 so they won’t sneak around? She is a kid. You have to set boundaries and she has to stick to them!
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She’s not 8 years old you can’t control what she does anymore unfortunately… she’s growing into her own person and she is going to want what her friends have and that just so happens to be Snapchat. As for dating you can’t really control that either.
Change how you parent and she wouldn’t rebel.
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So how about you just know what she has and monitor it.
Also you can tell her not to date until 16 but… she’s like she’s lying to be a teen. There’s was to parents and be flexible
Kinda like those parents that think because there boyfriends or girlfriends can’t sleep over they their kids are not having sex
Pick your battles mama or you are fucked when big issues happen
Maybe instead of Snapchat you could let her have a different social media platform? I lost my virginity at 14 years old. Pierced my own nose at 13. Pierced my own bellybutton & got a tattoo in an apartment at 15. My point is my dad was very strict. So I did everything anyway and hid it from him. I want my kids to know that they can come to me with anything. Being so strict is probably not going to help you. I would compromise. If you do, you can monitor whatever social media she has. It’s not like it used to be. Kids have all those things in middle school now. It’s probably embarrassing for her because at that age everything is a big deal. Maybe try something like “ I’m going to let you have (whatever social media you choose) but in return I don’t want anymore lying and I will also check it regularly.” Then follow up with the talk about fake accounts, stranger danger, etc. Meet in the middle? You assume she’s too immature, give her a chance to show you how mature she can be. Of course you’re the mom so you do what you feel is right. But that’s what I would do. 
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I remember being a teenager . My parents would tell me no and it would make me want to do it even move . When my parents allowed me to do more and trusted me I behaved a lot better . We had a better relationship . Monitor it . Kids will just do it behind your back .
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I make mine write sentences. Nothing else work. It used to work taking fortnite away but he doesn’t play it like he use too. He absolutely hates writing sentences. My sons dad is a covert narcissist. And we have split custody. So my sons is picking up A LOT of his manipulation tactics. It’s terrifying me. I’m just hoping my parenting is good enough. My worse nightmare is him growing up and treating someone the way I was.
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This world in itself is already so evil and wicked and as parents we dont even know how else we can protect our kids anymore other than constant prayers of protection over their lives 
, Dont be so hard on her. Be open and honest about everything that is happening and allow her to see things for what it is herself. Nowadys, we have to trust ourselfs to trust our kids and just set good examples to them. By you trying to hide certain things from her eventually she is going to be expose to it ( like what has happened with her friend’s ph) and it will only make matter even worse. My daughter is 24 and have her own daughter of 3 years old now ( My Universe 
) and this year has been the most toughest year being away from them 24/7 literally and I had to bring myself to the point of crying uncontrollably (that I could feel my heart aches ) to realizing that I have done an amazing job as a mother to allow her also to be independent and a strong mother to my Granddaughter too. There is only that much we can possibly do really , and one day we have to let them go into this world and be their own individuals, the most important thing now is that we must not allow the devil to come inbetween the sacred, honest and pure bond we must have with our kids. ( beleive me I have come face to face with the devil 
many times on my journey as a single mother 
) Oh yes, I have a 13 year old ( my already grown up son who is taller than me 
) and by me being open to him too about everything, he is so matured at his age already it sometimes takes my breath away! Just take it day by day , step by by step and just live in the moment. Dont allow any fear or anxiety of the future get the better of you. All is well, it’s just part of the growing experiences for both us and our kids 
Stay prayful, stay strong, you are an amazing Mom dont ever doubt that!
LOVE and Light Always 
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She’s 13! A growing teenager! The only way you add someone on Snapchat is through their user or snap code and the only way to have them is if she gives them out! so no randoms can add her
In my opinion strict parents make for bad relationships later on in life.
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I think your being to strict and it’s causing her to lie. she want to do what her friends are doing and your saying no so she is finding a way to do it any way. sit with her and talk to her your going to have to give her a little freedom at some point. you don’t want to push her away right now. my mom and her brother had 2 different parenting styles my mom was way less strict and I was able to do things that my uncle would never allow my cousin to do and guess what she did it any way just snuck around to do it. your going to have to open a line of communication so that she feels that your going to listen to her feelings. the more you tell her no the more she’s going to want to do it. try to set boundaries like ok you can have tiktok and snap chat but mom gets all the log in info for it so that it can be checked at anytime.
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Question is this a bridge your willing to die on???
I understand the no dating thing but hate to tell you they gonna have school boyfriend or girlfriend at that age weather we like it or not. I can guarantee that every friend or school mate has one platform of social media. She’s 13 you can either fight her tooth and nail every step of the way or you can compromise. Personally I wouldn’t die on this bridge momma. I’d let her have at least fb. But that’s me but remover these first couple years of being a teenager will define your relationship with your daughter for the next possibly ten years
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Take the phone add more chores make her only do chores and study.
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If you are to strict they 100% feel like they have to lie because they can’t trust you with the truth.
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Overly strict parents make sneaky children. Punishment closes communication.
She’s almost 13, a teenager. You have to acknowledge that your little girl is growing up. Personally, I would encourage personal relationships with kids her own age, while there is still innocence. 13 year olds hold hands, snuggle, kiss a bit. 16 year old are doing a lot more. If she can’t date at all until then, she will suddenly enter the dating world naive, and unprepared, rather than building up to it.
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Welcome to parenting a teenager going through puberty. Pick and choose your battles. The more you say don’t, the more they will sneak behind your back. Especially if it’s something 90% of other teenagers have/do. I allow my 13 year old to have certain apps, all monitored by myself, with strict rules. Snapchat can be set to certian settings. I have his Instagram on my Instagram so I get all the same notifications. Best of luck, it’s hard I know.
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Your being way too strict. She’s going to rebel if you keep this up. She’s lying because she doesn’t feel like she can communicate with you.
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As a parent of children ranging from newborn to 22 years old. If you prohibit them from doing it they will sneak it. With that being said my children have always had rules and boundaries in order to learn how to be safe around friends and social media. Yes in middle school my kids were allowed Facebook and snapchat. But 1st they werent allowed to have it on their phones. Only on their laptops. 2nd They arent allowed to have any device thar hooks up to the internet in there bedrooms it all must be kept in community spaces.
3rd I must be given the passwords to check their social media when I see fit. 4th. They arent allowed to “date” but they can absolutely have friends that are boys/girls if they hangout with said friends either other friends must ne present or one of their parents🤷♀️. At 16 we reevaluate wheather they are responsible enough to take over their own accounts. And at 18 they can have electronics in theirbl room. Its about setting boundaries and teaching them tobto use it appropriately. Good luck with your daughter
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Wow 
these comments are crazy. This is what’s wrong with kids today!
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Your daughter doesn’t trust you. Your daughter doesn’t feel respected by you. I suspect that you invade her personal space, bedroom, backpack, etc. Your daughter feels that she has zero control of her life because you’re controlling every move she makes (in her opinion). She is denying you the truth because that is an area that she feels she can control.
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Wow no wonder she feels the need to lie how strict you are. She obviously doesn’t feel like she can talk to you.
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Honestly, when was ages my mam was same as you, she was fab and still is but I still wanted to be same as everyone else I wanted to go in my phone and do what everyone else doing. Maybe just say if stop lying and telling me the truth we can work together in setting up these as long as I can check you phone ensure that you are using them correctly untill I feel though you responsible enough to use them correctly as there is big danger in social media and I just want to keep you safe.
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Eeewww the comments. The first time parents are pretending to be teen parents giving advice. “You’re too strict” lmao if you call that strict, you had a lucky childhood 
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I think she needs some freedom and then you will get less lies. You need to build a relationship with her and stopping her from doing anything, will make her lie to you. If you are too strict you will push her away. I know children shouldn’t lie but they will…they’re teens. But the lies will be less if you can give her some freedom and trust and you two can talk
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Don’t give it back, she lost it, she lost your trust. Buy her a prepaid flip phone she can’t get apps on there. She can use fb messenger on the computer if she really wants to talk to her friends. Don’t give her phone back until she learns. Actions come with consequences. And ground her for a couple weeks it won’t kill her. Have her do plenty of chores, homework as soon as she comes home check her back pack and make sure. And as for siblings if she continues to lie ask her sibling what happened if they tell you and it seems accurate then add to the punishment you’re the parent, not her friend. She needs to realize that.
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Maybe build some trust between you? Give her a little freedom with an app etc …maybe even show her that you have social media ?
If she feels the need to lie to her mum…then she feels that you are not gonna approve of behaviours? Encourage the truth on every thing…if she feels that she cannot speak to you with regards to anything, she may just up that risky behaviours, which you would never approve of.
Your daughter is 13 and growing and learning herself and she needs to feel that once she’s home…in her safe environment…that she can share her experiences with you. Xxx
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Give her a little room, my sons had a phone since 9 and he’s stepped up big time. I have it password locked so he can’t download anything without me putting in the password for it to be on his phone ( iPhone)
She’s going to rebel big time if u don’t stop. Kids will be kids I’m sure you lied to your parents. We r all humans after all and have to learn
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I think you’re being ridiculous. My son is 12, him and pretty much all his classmates have Snapchat. Just so happens a few of his friends have requested me on Snapchat and I see what they post as well as my son. I trust my son and his friends. There was a period in time last year when he had his phone taken away and his friends didn’t know (they were not in school) and I opened a few of the snaps to see what they talk about, nothing a normal kid doesn’t talk about. You being so strict will cause her to rebel. Times have changed nor does she trust you at all. If she did she wouldn’t feel the need to lie. You’re trying to control her every single move and it doesn’t work that way. She needs to explore with limits, not be held as a mute.
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Overly strict parents create sneaky kids
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My 10yr old Daughter has snap chat and tiktok but I keep a check on her activity often her tiktok is on private so no issues she wants to be like everyone else her age and there’s ways to let her be and keeping her safe while doing so
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First off I would meet that kid… but from all the nos and stuff she’s going to lie and sneak I would try to keep things open and work with them then they’ll come to you. Fingers cross mine are still young
“I’m very kind/patient and understanding”
giving very dictator vibes here
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All of these, “your too strict,” comment YIKES. A RULE is a rule? You break those rules, you get the consequences. You don’t rob a bank and get slapped on the hand for the robbery… you do the crime, you pay the time, as my dad would always tell me… SHOOT, I’m giving my daughter the exact same rules. Like they always say, you gotta be a parent before a friend!
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I think she has to lie in order to have some kind of fun… she’s ur child not in a prison … your being way to strict on her I’d be careful cus when she hits her 15/16 she will run and u can blame
No1 but urself … your not being soft by given her leeway but jr showing her u trust her
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i would lie to you too. no social media until 16? what’s wrong with you. you sound insufferable
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No advice as all my kids are still little but will say in fairness I used to do the exact same thing as sneak things if u knew I wasn’t allowed them and I wanted them what kids do ! And would lie to the cows come home anything not to get in trouble of course maybe take her out for lunch have a chat give her some trust and responsibility to be seen you are trusting her meet in the middle maybe allow her Snapchat as long as you can have all passwords etc and can check it at all times and location is off and its private and explain if she messes this up then you will delete it x
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Give her some space you can do random phone checks to see what’s up but if you don’t you will be a grandmother in a couple of years. Your pushing her away
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Sound like she’s fed up of being smothered by you
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Children grow up far faster then what I did, I’m 25 now but I still had social media at 13, it seems like she has no option but to lie to you. All of her friends will have Snapchat and TikTok, a little bit of trust in your daughter could go a long way and do wonders for your relationship. Being strict to this extent doesn’t ever bode well as it just makes sneaky kids, have boundaries and have rules but don’t smother them, they need to get their own little feeling of the world the longer you delay that the less she will trust you etc.
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Youngest age to join any of those platforms is like 13 I think. All your doing is pushing her away. U need to allow her to have Snapchat or something there are ways of controlling stuff like that but she is gonna lie to u because ur really not being understanding she wants to be a kid let her be a kid
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With the boundaries you’ve set, her lying and acting out are only gonna get worse! I think there needs to be a bit more understanding and trust from you!!
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Oh, I’m feeling this so very much! Exactly how my own daughter started. It got worse and worse and now at age 40 I doubt she even remembers what the truth was. She’s invented university degrees ( she extracted a flat and fees from her father for years and never attended past the first few weeks), a family rooted in Italy (even took a one-time fiancé there as she wanted to get married where her “nonnie” was born), fake friendships with celebrities, fake jobs (latest is dog trainer, even though she has a dog she has NO control over). I could go on and on. I severed contact with her as I can’t deal with the lies. Her father however sits and listens to her bulls**t and says nothing. Since she started dating she’s had at least one man and one more in the wings, always moving onto the better(richer) option. They have no clue who she really is(was) and I doubt she does either. I hope it ends better for you!
Being strict as a parent is not a bad thing…but we must remember they are growing up and need to learn to be streetwise.
13yo is no longer a baby to be protected from everything but guided to do whats safe and right.
You are the parent. You make the rules…but maybe talk and compromise a little.
Set out the rules and the consequences of breaking them.
School boyfriends are a fact of life …my 6yo grandaughter has a bf lol…doesnt mean they’re going to jump into bed
Lies I hate. You cant believe a word that comes out their mouth when they lie and grounding was my way of dealing with that…school then home. No contact with friends at all…
As they grow up… we have to give a little because if they are lying about where they are or what they’re doing we cant keep them safe .
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My daughter is 11 and she has tiktok and most recently Snapchat…everyone in her class has it …
There was a girl when I was younger everyone else had a phone at 15…she had a pager.
Guess who moved hundreds of miles away the first chance they got? Love them and protect them, don’t smother them
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Release the apron strings rather than risk her hiding everything and lying open up communication and teach her how to be safe instead of punishing her for everything and making it so she hides more
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Yikes. Your rules are too strict. I get you want to protect but your going too far. Ur isolating her and she’s kicking out. Have a compromise, a conversation about clear boundaries and let go a.little. snapchat and tiktok are how kids communicate. U need to get with the times x
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It’s because you’re too strict
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I say bend a little on some things for the sake of your relationship with her. Pick your battles with teenagers i think its necessary as they get tired of fighting to be themselves. Im not saying your wrong my mom raised me same way. I was bitter with her as she never tried to see things from my perspective. I chose to break that cycle so i would have better relationship with my sons. You’re setting the tone for rest of this time together right now and she may not trust you enough to talk to you about things that are way more important than snapchat. As grown ups sometimes we dont understand how important something like that is to our kids, but that doesnt make any less important to teens
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And you wonder why she’s lying to you?? I was a teen mom. My parents were fairly strict (they wanted what was best for me, I know) but they were nowhere even close to as bad as you are and I still that is what drove me to make most of my mistakes early on. You are only making it worse. My parents didn’t want me to be with the “bad boy” type boyfriend I met and tried to keep us apart. I ended up pregnant. 8 years and two children later we are still going strong happily married and accomplishing our goals together. Trying to prevent her from growing up and making mistakes is going to make everything SO much worse for you and her.
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Gosh I wish I could message you personally. Screw what everyone else is saying about you being too strict. Its a scary world out there and social media can be so toxic until you’re mature enough to handle it. Some people never will be. So as mommas, it is our jobs to protect our babies best we can. I think a lot of her rebellion is coming from these restrictions. I was definitely the child who if you told me not to do something. I wanted to do it more. My poor mother haha. Anywho - maybe find a happy medium. Allow her some of the apps and do random check ins to monitor who she has been talking to and what she has been doing. I know at that age - I had to plug my phone in, in my parents room by 10 on week nights. If I did so, grades were good, I was following the rules… I’d get it until midnight on weekends. I think you have to allow her to give you reasons to trust her. You gotta throw her a bone and award her accordingly. Positive reinforcement.
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She’s a teenager! 1. She needs some freedom and social media 2 she’s almost at legal working age. 3. Almost all teenagers lie at some point and yes it’s usually over stupid stuff. She’s 13 not 5, they need to communicate with their friends!
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There have been studies that the more strict you are the more a child will learn to lie and sneak around. The best thing is to have open communication. Discuss pros and cons and be a safe place for her to come to with problems.
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Thr more you push her not to do things the more she will rebel, is she in some sort of military camp, yes set boundarys but you both have to compromise and give alittle, she is 13 and learning about herself, talk to her about how to use these things safely, guide her to be safe
So I don’t disagree with your rules, your family, your rules. Consider this aspect, you’re keeping them from socializing in those ways until 16. The majority of their peers will have at least a 3 year jump on them. Then they’re gonna be cut loose at 16 with social media, dating etc… that release might be a mess, or it might be fine. Easing into social media and educating her about going on dates (maybe by doing group outings with her friends, possibly even chaperoned) is a better way to handle this, just my opinion and suggestion.
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She’s hiding everything because your so strict. Allow her freedom without overreacting and then she’ll become more open
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I agree with your rules. Especially since you say she isn’t mature enough for these things. Children do not need Snapchat or anything else of that nature. You have not cut off communication because she does have messenger kids. I really have no advice to help with the lying, but giving in to these things doesn’t sound like a good solution to me. You are the parent, you make the rules. There should definitely be consequences for the lying and sneaking. There are parental apps you can put on your child’s phone to block and monitor activity. There are also counseling programs for compulsive liars and such. I would look in to those to see if you can get to the bottom of these things. Some people lue for the thrill of it and it escalates into adulthood and can cause many issues with jobs, families, and friends. Best of luck!!
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It’s hard you can’t make them tell the truth .my 11 year old lies about dumb stuff. He can do something right in front of us then try and say he didn’t .I don’t understand it but he loves school and does good
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Everybody that’s saying strict literally has no idea what their talking about. My parents were waaay to “strict” so I gave my daughters some lead way. Dumbest shit I ever did! My 12 almost 13 year old is the same way. Lies for nothing… and I hate liars. Anyway I let her have all that social media ish and you know that gut feeling… “bring me your phone!” Out the blue and yea I took her shit from what I saw. I dgaf a kid is gonna be a kid around me… Mine … yours… or theirs… Sis everybody has different personalities and different ways of looking at shit … the way she takes what your trying to give her is ultimately on her. From experience some of us have to learn the hard way as much as I hate to say it. My 11 year old is wiser and she’s the baby 
…at the end of the day posting isn’t gonna work … your gonna get a lot of mamas coming at you with their “opinion” or what they would do being judgy and shit and their shit is probably crumbling. I came to my grandma before she passed asking for very similar advice and she told me something that changed my life… don’t let something kill you that you have life to… they are their own person and will have to learn their own mistakes” Ultimately you know what’s best for you and yours. Blessings Mama
I mean, she’s clearly gonna do it whether you say she can or not. You may as well make it safe for her.
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Most kids lie because they’re terrified to make mistakes. So they lie to avoid mistakes being found out.
Since telling my kids it’s ok if they make mistakes, that mistakes are part of life, & that consequences from us will always be less if they’re honest, their lying has decreased significantly.
I agree with the no dating at that age. But. Maybe give her a chance on Snapchat. Set ground rules. Talk about internet safety and how it is just for people she knows. Not strangers.
You can also set something in Snapchat (or at least you used to be able to) that it doesn’t delete chats.
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She’s a great liar because you taught her well. You do not have an open relationship with your daughter whatsoever. I get having rules, I have tons of them for my kids, but once a girl and boy like each other, it’s natural. How are you going to suppress your daughter’s feelings? There are some things we as parents do not need to know. Minus mental health issues, you should allow your child to take some control of her life or she’ll be long gone by 18. What you are doing is not love, it’s controlling.
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Strict parents make sneaky kids
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I do agree with rules and boundaries. But your too harsh! She’s a teenager. Your treating her like a little kid. The more you impose restrictions like you are the more she will rebell. She just wants to be like everyone else her age.
I have 2 teenage sons (16 &13) and 1 pre teen daughter who is 11.
All have mobile phones. All have snap chat etc… I check the 2 youngest devices every evening. They’re smart kids! And I trust they know right from wrong.
In my opinion the likes of snap chat, ticktock and Facebook have been a saving grace for my kids. Nearly 2 years of continuous lockdowns, restrictions, homeschooling and being cooped up indoors with only your siblings for companionship is enough to really affect a child’s mental health. They need to be able to contact their friends.
As for no boyfriend? That’s a whole different can of worms!
I suggest you sit down with your daughter and listen to her. And maybe learn to trust her a little more. I’d safely say she’s lying to you because she’s scared of the aftermath.
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I see everyone saying around the same thing. And i dont agree. I thnj there is an appropriate age gor dating and social media. Mine barely got facebooks just in the last year, and theyre 14 and 16. The 16 year old use to lie alllllll the fckn time, About dumb shit. So she wasnt mature enough to me until recently to be able to handle a social media account. You do have to pick your battles but i do not stand for lying. Period. Im in the criminal justice field, i know theres many creeps are online trying to tlk to lil kids, posing as other kids. Even though u monitor your kids stuff, doesnt mean your going to know if they have one. Mine are not allowed to add anyone on their stuff that they dont know from school or family. Your kid, your rules. Personally, i wld take the phone for a cpl days, 1 for lying, 1 for diobeying and another 1 for lying again. Maybe she’ll thnk twice about doing what she wants and lying. Some say strict this stricked that, but if your lenient on everythng but lying and social media, thats not really all that strict.
She’s rebelling because of how you are I agree with no social media but not until 16 give her some freedom and trust and just see how she gose you may find the lying stops a littel ahe may respect you more and just ask fir her phone once a week to look through and make sure she isn’t going in things that not healthy for her age as when she’s at school all her friend are able to do these things around her she’s going to want to feel involved in that thing, you find they lies are to protect you and herself but she also wants some freedom in life and feel she can fit in with all her friend are doing but if she had abit more freedom she wouldn’t need to lie about these things
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She is beginning to be a teenager, she is lying as you don’t respect her choices.
At 13 she will make a lot of mistakes, but as a parent we are here to support and help our children grow.
Unfortunately if this is your parenting style it will continue into her adult years as you don’t approve of her.
This is so negative, I understand why she hides things from you.
Don’t just label her a liar, and punishing her for being a typical teenager is harsh.
Do you not remember our hormones at that age? She already has it hard 
.
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I agree with everyone staying you’re too strick I grew up with a mom like that and I resent her so bad I cut her out of my life I was never a bad child… yes I mad bad choices we all do but nothing too extreme… you cannot protect them from everything… I also have a 13yr old she will be 14 in April… she has a Facebook tictok, snap, and intsa, plus others I dont remember… shes open with me about what needs to be if I feel like shes hiding something I have access to her phone she gets good grades and helps with her siblings… they need to have freedom to find themselves or they grow up to sheltered not knowing how the world works… that was me… it took me to long to realize most people are just cruel…
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strict parents create sneaky kids tbh she’s going to find a way to do it
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I feel like its probly suffocating for her i mean no dating until she’s 16 I thiink that’s quite full on of course we all want the best for our children but sometimes you can push them away by it i feel you should be letting her exoiriance these things its actully part of growing up she’s probly lieing ect because all of her friends, are doing these things yet she’s not aloud there are ways of keeping her safe while allowing her to do these things and she’s prob lieing because she feels she can’t talk to you with the truth i feel you could be the issue here without sounding harsh on you and no offence intended just being truthful i have girls my self and I feel the best way to be with them is open and honest while keeping an eye on their phones boys ect you can still alow them to do these things its part of growing up dating boys ect wouldn’t you rather know then not know coz your gunna really push her away then she will start to rebel which then means lots of worst things could start to happen yes it’s good to have rules ect but it’s also good to let a teenager exoiriance being a teenager
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You need to give her a Lil space. She’s not going to pregnant from Snapchat. Trust her to make the right decision. How do any of us know anything but through living and learning.
The more you sound like an absolute dictator… the more she’s going to lie.
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my sperm donor did this to me as a kid & im now 20 & haven’t spoken to him in years. you have to allow your kid some trust & freedom you’re only pushing her away!
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I think the more strict parent are, the more children rebel. Although I respect your rules, but your daughter must feel like the only 1 not to b allowed social media and this can b just as hard on her as the effects of social media. I think us parents should teach our children how to correctly use social media rather than cut them off because let’s face it…social media is with us whether we like it or not. And surely allowing her this is better than banning her from it as she’s clearly gonna do it anyways…so better to allow her to b safe and hopefully that will result in less lying/sneaking around.
Build trust with your daughter cause clearly neither of u trust the other and to me that’s so sad 
xx
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I’m going based on my experience as a teenager a young one like your daughter. When I was that age the more my momma pushed and pushed and pushed. The more I rebelled. Let her have all that but tell her there will be rules. You have check everything, there’s no deleting message, if she deletes messages it gets taken away. She does it a second time taken away and final warning. She does it a third time, she has to delete all forms of social media, and get her phone taken away untill she can learn to be mature.
I told my kids from an early that they should never lie cause once you loose trust there is no easy way to earn it back. It could take a month, 6 months a year or more. You can’t dictate how other feel about the dishonesty. So it’s better to never loose it to begin with. They also feel safe telling me things they did wrong even though they know there will be consequences, honesty makes the process better. It is understood no one is perfect. But lowing is something you have to go hard at. Take away all electronics, any ability to go anywhere other then school and church. No friends over. No door on room/remove privacy except in restroom. Lost her name brand clothes and had a couple of cheep outfits to wear over and over. We were sooo close to home schooling. My daughter became my buddy instead of sulking in her room she helped me do my chores and cook. We went everywhere together and we talked about a lot of things. I shared some things about myself with her. Her attitude changed and after a couple of months we went back to a semblance of normal and gave some things back slowly. This was a major sacrifice of my time and self. But as a parent we have to be willing to do these things to make them understand we will do anything for them. That we won’t give in cause we love her and want her to be happy healthy and know she can trust us with her true self and we will love her no matter what. We never had an issue of this level with her again. But it was a rough year of sacrifice for our family but it was definitely worth it.
Kid needs a hobby not social media get her into horseback riding or something.
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Trust her give her trust now days their is so many ways to do things so at her age she will find a way and do it why not let her Instead she’s lying and now your not going to know anything because she knows you don’t like it I rather know than not even tho I don’t agree in a lot of things with my boys I rather know what they are doiNg then not know and them doing stuff behind my back.
Parenting has changed from when we were kids,everything has changed, it seems you’ve exhausted all Avenues of punishment and its not working, right now you need to look at the bigger picture its could be the beginning of worse rebellion, what you are doing isnt working,you need to give a little.you dont want you’re daughter to resent you,and not come to you with real issues
I walked away from this post for a bit so I wasn’t impolite
You are smothering that girl. She is your child - I get that you want to protect her and keep her safe, it’s your job as a parent. But she is becoming a young woman now and is discovering who she is as an individual.
She has a mind of her own and is obviously a strong person - YOU made her that way.
Your job now is to GUIDE! Our teens have to make their own mistakes, that’s how they learn. Guide her, help her out if she screws up.
She’s not doing it to be disrespectful; it’s just part of the chemical changes her brain is going through!
If you keep on this way, she won’t come to you when she does need help because she’ll be afraid of your reaction
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Maybe if she didn’t feel like she in prison she would not need to lie
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You’re too controlling period. This is what happens when parents are control freaks. Let her live or expect her to rebel and you’ll be a young grandma
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I think you may be a little strict with the social media stuff but as for the rest I think your right 13 is way to young for a relationship and by reading these comments that’s why their children become parents to early on monitor the socials if you have to as Snapchat especially is literally used nowadays for hookups and dirty pics so if the parents above putting up down for being a concerned parents it’s your child ,your rules simple as
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Way tooooooooooo controlling
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Could be crack cocaine 
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You’re too strict and it’s not normal to have no social media till you are 16. Ease up a little and let her have snapchat and just keep an eye on her. I lied to my parents because they were ridiculously strict. I was 16 and not allowed to go out at all so I would lie I was working but was really at a movie. I didn’t want to lie but imagine not being able to do normal things because your parents are too strict!
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You fenna have a sneaky teenager 
it’s nothing to monitor all that stuff Snapchat TikTok YouTube parental restrictions can be made
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My parents were extremely strict on me, which caused me sneaking around and lying at this same age. Times have changed and kids are growing up faster now. To say u can’t date until 16 is crazy, my parents told me same thing so I had my 1st child at 15! Ease up a little bit. I was never as strict on my kids as my parents was on me and me and my children have a wonderful relationship and they come to me about things I never would’ve went to my parents about because of how strict they were
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The more you smother her the more she will rebel. It will only get worse if you don’t let up on things a little bit. She wants to experience the same things her friends do n it probably makes her pretty sad when she can’t.
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Everyone’s sitting here going “you’re too controlling” etc. but so many kids get put into sex trafficking because of social media. I don’t think you’re out of line AT ALL. I see some of the crap my cousin (14) posts and I cringe. I had a Facebook at 14, and it was still dangerous. The internet is NOT a safe place and I don’t blame you for being concerned. I would not allow Snapchat. Tik tok can be edited to a “friends only” not public acc. Something to consider. Kids act out. They lie. It’s just what they do. Now, because she’s lying all the time that tells me she doesn’t feel like she can come to you with the truth. You need to work on making her feel more secure in your relationship with her. Not every broken rule needs to be punished to the fullest extent. Sometimes you can talk about it, get on her level, make sure she understands, and move on. If she does it again, talk about it again, and why it’s not okay, and give a small punishment. Gradually increase those punishments if she is a continuously repeating the action. I would also do some research on “gently parenting a head strong teen” it’s not an easy path, but you’ll get through it!
Geez where do I begin…
Coming from a strict household (mom in particular) I hated my life as a teenager. While my friends were enjoying a casual Friday football game or a Sadie Hawkins dance, I was at home because “I was too young”. I felt I had to lie to my mom about everything because I knew the answer was “no”. When I was about 14-15 I started to hate my mom. Yes I said “Hate”. I couldn’t stand living with her and her stupid rules. My friends and cousins were my Go To Peeps and not being able to hang out with them while they were growing up doing normal teenage things was depressing. I resented my mom for that. I’m now a 42 year old women and still feel resentment towards her for not allowing me to be a normal teenager. I now have 2 beautiful daughters who come to me for everything…and I mean “everything”. We have the most amazing relationship because I refuse to have them resent me for not allowing them to build their own character. Sit down and talk to her. Let her know you love her and set realistic positive rules. It’s a give and take but it has to be reasonable. Her change in behavior starts with you. Wish you luck.
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My son is 14,he has Snapchat and TikTok.i go on and check his snapchat.he will be on both in front of me.so I know he isn’t doing anything wrong.i guess maybe I’m not that strict.thats why he comes and tells me everything.
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