A study recently showed that children are actually maturing faster and hitting puberty earlier.
With that said… Go ahead and keep these chains… She will rebel and she will hide it… She will lie… You are basically stopping her from being a normal preteen. As a parent it’s your job to teach them how to use social media. And not guiding her now may lead to a mess later… The world is not a safe place at 13 but really will she be any more safe using tinder or snap at 18?
Or snap at 16?
A 16 yr old girl in my city was lured by a trafficking ring, her mom and her went to a grocery store, these girls complimented her bag or jacket, the girl then proceeded to converse with the girls where they switched snaps, the mother was notified two days later that the conversations had been obtained by police and the girls had talked this one girl into convincing her parents to drop her off to these girls. The mom said to the police I wouldn’t have. As the conversation went on she realized another friend had been pulled in and if the mom said no she was to ask to go to said friends house and her mother would drive them to drop off location. This was going to be the end of them…
16 years old… And because mommy didn’t prépare her for reality she almost got taken had the police not been investing the child ring here…
You can’t keep her sheltered this is not the right way to do things anymore… Once upon a time you could let your children play out in the yard without fear… The internet isn’t the only threat, there are predators everywhere and they can be any age or any gender…
You can be skinny or fat, pretty or ugly…it doesn’t matter… And we need to start informing our children on the reality…
Personally, I would allow the introduction to social media in small doses. This is such a digital world now, a lot of kids communicate that way, and don’t be so quick to assume it’s all for the wrong reasons. You need to show her you trust her, have a conversation, lay down rules, come to an agreement. Do random phone checks, be aware of her contacts list. There are ways for you both to work together, and mostly, ways for you to come to terms that she is only getting older. The more you keep from her the more it will happen behind your back.
6 Likes
Sorry but she will never change, from my experience
Trust her more! I read this post and it reminded me of myself when I was a younger girl. I constantly lied to my mom because she would say no. When my mom put more trust into me, I put trust into her letting her know where I was and etc. guess the saying is true! Strict parents create sneaky kids! But don’t cave to EVERYthing obviously…. But trust a little more. Good luck!! I have an almost five year old daughter … I’m sooooo in for it 
5 Likes
Super strict, controlling parents equal rebellious kids. Take from me who had a very controlling mother. So controlling I didn’t and still to this day, don’t feel like I can tell her a God damn thing. My oldest js 13, I have a very open relationship with him. He can talk to us about anything. Mind you, he is 13 going on 16. Very mature for his age. As they get older, you gotta remember being a teen yourself. Just remember how things went when your parents said no. I know that I rebelled hard, had a kid just after high school (no regrets). But I know how I want to raise my kids. I know that I have to be open to what they are wanting to experience in their journey. I know they are going to do things behind my back if I say no. So we avoid that. We talk about it, I tell him my concerns. I also give him a safe place at home that he can be so we know he’s safe. All I can hope for now, is that we instilled enough good morals inn him, that he will make the right choices.
No wonder she lies. You hide her from the world. Can’t protect our children by wrapping bubble wrap around our kids. 
But, that’s just my opinion. If you don’t give your kids the feeling of trust, then there will be no respect.
7 Likes
She’s not going to open up to you, or tell you the truth in anything, if she’s constantly made to feel like she’s in “trouble” or doing something wrong. Everybody ages and matures differently and at their own pace… Your making her feel as though she has to “grow up”, behind your back…Just because you’re not ready for it to happen mom, doesn’t mean that it’s not going to…
5 Likes
This child is 13 and y’all are trying to tear her down for trying to protect her youth?!? The fuck is wrong with you people!!! She doesn’t want her 13 year old subjected to a private app that can cause bullying or inappropriate things to take place and you’re calling her strict?! That’s PROTECTION! Who gives a crap if your kid is cool, y’all wanna parent like everyone else. Her daughter who is being taught respect and boundaries will go on to do successful things and learn lessons of life. Trust or no trust, Snapchat is not appropriate any 13 year old. Nothing good comes of it for adults and it damn sure ain’t gonna help a child through high school. Bless you momma! Raise them babies how YOU want to don’t let society tell you how, or these people.
Sorry mama. I understand the same issue with social media for my 12 year old! But other than that I give her freedom! To certain extent obviously. I catch her lying depends on the situation I’ll let her go thru it and see that she was wrong and that I will never trust her again if this doesn’t change. She wants to act older than I’ll treat her that way. My kid will ground herself when I stop talking to her aka silent treatment. And thankfully its teaching my youngin what not to do when she gets that age.
1 Like
Maybe she lies because she is afraid that she will lose your love and also wants to be cool with her friends which is a very important part of this stage of life. She doesn’t want to disappoint you but is being overwhelmed with that sense of being accepted by peers. It is finding that middle ground so she can talk to you, know how much you love her unconditionally and giving her space to be cool with the friends.
3 Likes
Take it all. No phone, no messenger. If she wants to talk, she better learn phone numbers.
And therapy. Family therapy is a good idea too.
4 Likes
You have to find a happy medium. This is a digital world and that’s how these kids communicate these days . Give her a little wiggle room and I bet things will get better . Sometimes being too strict backfires. Sit down and really talk with no judgment . See what she needs from you.
My daughter has Snapchat. But I monitor it all the time she knows she’s only allows her friends and her friends parents that have snap as well so it’s more than one person that’s monitoring it. Last year we had a similar situation with Facebook. In many of my family’s suggested friends was her profile no pictures just her name. She said her friend made the profile so I told her it had to be deactivated or the phone was going to mine for awhile it was gone the next day. My daughter is a horrible liar so she doesn’t lie often because she knows she will be in trouble if she does
1 Like
You have clearly shown her you don’t trust her, without even giving her a chance to show you she’s trustworthy, so why do you expect her to trust you with the truth?
Trust is a two way street and it starts with you.
3 Likes
I would get her evaluated by a psychiatrist.
1 Like
Well first off she can get on all those apps on a laptop or computer. So I would take ALL electronics away from her. Make her stay home and clean the house for a week. Maybe she will get it…
5 Likes
I think you’re teaching her to lie to you because obviously she can’t talk with or compromise with you. Social media is the way kids communicate these days and you’re not going to stop that and especially if she has to sneak to do it which leaves it wide open to all. Maybe allow it with restrictions and conditions that if she doesn’t abide by your rules she’ll lose her phone period. The more you make her sneak the more dangerous it gets. Let her earn your trust instead of making her go behind your back 
13 Likes
You sound exactly like my mother. No trust, no freedom. I did everything my mother told me I couldn’t do and then some. You will not stop her so my advice is start guiding her to live in the real world and to make good choices.
17 Likes
As much as I hate to say this as a mother of 4 3 girls 1 boy… I think you need to loosen the leash a little its hard when EVERYONE else has social media and she dosen’t. Maybe just monitor it.
Ever wonder I’d thats why she lies? Cause she feels she can’t tell the truth without getting in trouble for it.
5 Likes
I raised 2 girls and now have 2 teenage granddaughters and it is either because of a boy or drugs. I wish you the best of luck and stay on it.
Welcome to teenage years lmao
2 Likes
Tell her you’re gonna do something she wants to do… let her get all hyped up about it . Then don’t do it. Tell her you lied . How does it feel to get lied too.
Kids do not understand things until it is done to them. They don’t understand hitting hurts until they’re hit. They don’t understand biting hurts until they’re bit. They won’t understand lying hurts until they’re lied too.
7 Likes
Your way to strict on her, before you know it she’ll be sneaking around with said boy all because you won’t let her do anything, trust me I had strict parents and wasn’t allowed to even stay at a friends house till I was 17 and I rebelled against my parents even ran away at 16
7 Likes
Wayyy too strict. How I was raised. She’ll never learn how to properly navigate if she’s left to figure it out behind your back
4 Likes
Kids learn about behavior, building trust, and giving respect from their parents. Your job is to parent, not be her friend. Give her a path to earn back her privileges and let her try and earn them. You loosen the boundaries as she builds a relationship that demonstrates trust. Don’t worry about all the people saying you’re too strict. Your job is to keep your daughter healthy, safe, and help her grow up. When kids break trust, which it sounds like she has done repeatedly, they don’t get rewarded just because everyone else is doing it or has it.
5 Likes
I mean… You should probably reread this. Cause you sounds like a real peach of a mom. You’re absolutely oblivious. You can “not tolerate” whatever it is you think you should but of you think that lack of tomorrow will just magically prevent behaviors then you’re sleeping. Talk to her. Human to human. It really is that simple.
2 Likes
Yea… It has seemed to got to the point of “well she’s gunna say no or be angry anyway so I may as well not even try asking and just do what I want”…remember she’s still a person you can sit down and have a heart to heart and tell her your feelings your not going to ruin her life by saying she’s hurting you, try and get it all out without yelling or telling her to do what you want. Then start to build it back up, be more open to change and her having things, give and take. Good luck ur still a great mum! You wanna be her fall on pillow not her brick wall xo
By restricting her so much, she’s going to go behind your back and do things that her peers are doing. Let the girl have social media. Make sure you know ALL login information (or even create it yourself and don’t give her the information if you’re concerned about her changing passwords or whatever) and check all communication as often as necessary. Don’t allow Snapchat if you feel it is unsafe, but you can’t deny her any access to her peers or she’s just going to find a way to do it anyways. And stop disciplining her for being truthful with you. That’s just going to encourage her to lie and hide things from you.
1 Like
You’re the reason she’s lying to you
8 Likes
You are being way over bearing. It makes me sad just reading this. I really feel sorry for your daughter.
5 Likes
You’ve taught her everything she knows, how to tie her shoes, brush her teeth, the alphabet, colours etc. you need to teach her how to navigate life, including social media. As others here have said, totalitarianism invokes lies and deceit.
I have attached a guide to safer social media use. It is Australian, and has really useful information. I wish you all the very best. Kids just want to be loved and to fit in. Try not to take her behaviour personally. Just love her and have the hard conversations. This can be a time of growth for both of you.
1 Like
Let’s face being a parent is hard. Parenting this generation is harder. With technology and the likes.
My mum always said you might not make the same mistakes I did youll just make different ones.
We all patent differently and have different rules for different reasons good bad or indifferent they are our own.
Lying is a hard one because there many reasons for her or anyone doing it. If she’s doing it alot well it’s not going to be easy for her to change Cos for her its her first instinct. You’re right she’s not a adult and you need to make decisions for her what she can and can’t do. But she is older enough to understand right from wrong. The one one thing though is the process of why and how you come up with your rules and she’s older enough to be apart of the decision making.
Perhaps you need a new approach. And some rules that apt to the current world around us. With that teaching her about trust.
Trust gives us the ability to be able to be honest.
I agree socials are the way of the world and not great but there are parental controls. Start with tik tok
She can’t post anything unless u see it follow her account .
Sit down together tell her your concerns make her write down the rules together for eg. If you post on with our me seeing it you loose the app for a month do it 3 times for a year idk. In any which way she needs to be apart of the decision making.
Sometimes u have to give a little and always with consequences to show u can trust her but it’s important she is a part that decision making. Don’t do it at the time do it all before hand calm mind and environment. Sit down and talk but you do need to listen. Get her to make a list and you have a list
Good luck
1 Like
This comment section is probably something my mom should have read in 2007. I haven’t spoken to her since I moved out with my dad in highschool. And to be honest with you I hope she doesn’t move out on you and never speak to you again. Please change that be more open let her know she can come to you with whatever. Luckily my dad 
took on the mom role too.
2 Likes
you’re gonna be in an old folks home awfully young
3 Likes
You should ease off a bit. Most of those things can be monitored and besides ‘dating’ can be monitored as well and it’s part of growing up. She’s only hiding things and lying because she can’t trust that you’ll listen to her openly. Give her a bit of freedom not too much and if you place rules with that freedom and she breaks them, take away whatever freedom you’ve given her until she learns. It sounds like your leash on her is too short tbh
4 Likes
I don’t mean this as a critic or to shame you but you probably over react when she lies about the little things. And that lead to her not caring about the big lies. I say this because I had the same issue and I had to take a step back and look at what I was contributing to the ongoing issue. When I realized what I was doing, it took a long time but whenever I caught my daughter lying to me. I would pull her aside and calmly talk to her. I would ask questions like why did you feel like you needed to lie to me about (whatever it was) then explain that yes I’m going to get upset. But what really upsets or hurts me is that you felt you couldn’t come to me with the truth. Sometimes you’re not going to like my rules but they are there for your safety or whatever. Then come to a solution together. Something that will give her a little bit of freedom but something that you feel confident that she can handle. Kids make mistakes this is the time to guide them not create a hostile home environs where she feels like she can’t talk to you. I hope it helps and gets better for you. I’m scared of the teenager years
bless you i lived with this for years and it got worse she is over 39 and still we queation what she says
And why are you posting on fb? This sounds like a family matter
3 Likes
My mom was really strict with me all my life and all she wanted me to do was worship and talk about god, when I became a teenager I couldn’t really do anything and she would go off over the little things I did growing up I hid a lot of stuff from my mom and till this day my mom still doesn’t truly know who I am 
.
2 Likes
She’s lying because taking things away and looking for ways to “punish” do not work for keeping kids honest.
6 Likes
Parenting is so hard, what works for one child may not work for all.
I understand not wanting your daughter to be on social media, there are creepers out there. But we now live in an era where social media is everywhere. Maybe sit her down and explain you do not like when she is deceitful , explain your concerns and then together come up with a plan that both are comfortable with. I would not allow tik tij or Snapchat (both are known to be used by recruiters/pedophiles), r together set guidelines, rules and consequences. Monitor. Come together often to discuss what’s going on, the good, bad and ugly. If you’re more comfortable, you create the accounts and explain that you are giving her a chance, gowever, if she does not show that she can be trusted and responsible then the privilege will be revoked.
As far as the boy, incite him over, get to know him… if you ban him, she will continue to lie.
Best of luck 
I had all of those same rules as a kid. It was torture. Feeling like you don’t even have a tiny bit of say in your life. I couldn’t talk to my mom about anything. The same stuff was still going on when I was 19 living in their house. Very restricted. So I left at 3am with my boyfriend, now husband. Just be careful and try to hear her. Let her give you her reasons as to why she should be allowed certain things. That’s all I could have wanted from my mom. We do have a breaking point and I snapped and left. Just be careful
6 Likes
I’m completely blown away by some of these comments. Take her phone and don’t give it back until she stops her nonsense and lying! YOU are the parent! Set rules and stick with them or she’s going to rule you. What in the world is wrong with people when they want you not to set boundaries and discipline your child?!?!? My 12 yo doesn’t even have a phone! Only a tablet that has parental controls set. We have to be in control for this generation and the results of the next!
9 Likes
whatever your child (and she’s just that) is doing stems from within the home. Wanting social media at her age is a “i want to for in” situation and if she felt comfortable with who she was (parents teach self love) then she wouldn’t feel so pressured to get social media and lie to you about it because she loves herself and she feels like she can be herself in-front of you. which based on your description on the controlling behavior you’ve announced you have, she won’t be honest with you.
2 Likes
Take the phone away, I have the same problem and my kids are not allowed on anything like that either! My son lies a lot to for no reason and I take the phone! Someone is influencing the behavior because they don’t just do it for no reason. The best way to approach it is to sit down and explain that it is doing her no good to lie and there’s no reason for it. I tell my kids they can tell me anything and I will never ever get mad at them, instead try to educate the and help them so there’s absolutely no reason to hide anything from me. Don’t listen to all these people saying you’re restricting her to much because it is your decision as a parent to make sure your kids are safe and making good choices and if you feel like that is the best decision for your child then that is your decision.
3 Likes
The more strict you are ! The more she will rebel I was that little girl once with very strict parents
6 Likes
With teens, there is no easy solution. Stand your ground and be strong, otherwise you’ll be amen for a fool.
She’s 13 and doesn’t realise what ‘lying’ is. She wants to get away with it which is why she’s lying. Forget about her lies; focus more on all the things she’s doing…things she shouldn’t be doing; consequences for those should happen. Set rules and consequences if she doesn’t follow them. Be fair.
3 Likes
The more you restrict the more they rebel.
6 Likes
My mother was the same way… couldn’t use the microwave at 15 or wear deodorant or shave or wear a bra… at 15…. I grew up very self conscious about myself because of this. My mom said she hated liars but she didn’t make it easy to tell the truth. I was scared of her and what does that do for a relationship? I understand the need to protect our children but we are also growing future adults that need to function in the real world. If we protect them from everything they will not be prepared for what is out there. I know from experience.
10 Likes
Im not sure. But, when I had my four kids, I knew I wanted to raise them to come to us for anything. I had that open relationship. I’m thankful I did. I let them have the phone, they hung out with friends. Give her a Lillie lead way. I never lied to my kids and was always up front. Don’t sugar coat anything. I’ve never experienced something like your going thru. Have some one on one time with her. Do something she’s interested in. Good luck but don’t give up. Have the talk with her. Her body is going thru alot and maybe she’s overwhelmed or feeling some type of way. Talk to her Mom, you got this…
2 Likes
Carol Colley Burckhard that’s uncalled for, do you attack everyone who comes on here for advice?
1 Like
Kids will do what they want to do… you tell them don’t date then they do you tell them no apps then they do. Only way to stop it all is home schooling. Other than that (which is not a good option) then you need to lighten up. Google has family link that will block sites for you but they still will use other people’s phones for it. Dating you can say they’re your special friend but not dating because they are not doing things that dating people do. I’ve been there done all that with my 4 children. My oldest is 15 and I told her she can now date but so far she’s refusing to (because now I’m allowing her to 
fine with me as long as it is true). Good luck!
The more you restrict them, the more they will lie and rebel. Try to ease up a bit. Maybe she will open up more. She’s not just lying for no reason. She’s lying because she knows she can’t trust you. You need to work on yourself first.
9 Likes
Carol Colley Burckhard DUMB QUESTION
1 Like
Obviously punishment is needed. But maybe compromise with a closely monitored Facebook page of her own to show she is responsible enough for some form of social media. I don’t blame you on the snap chat and would absolutely keep that rule in place. But she might see it as a win and be less likely to try and get the sneaky apps that children have no business on.
You have to build a trust with her so she doesn’t feel the need to lie. Be open and understanding so she isn’t afraid to tell you the truth.
It sounds like it may be a long road but it can be built. I always stop my kids when I know they are lying tell them to think about what they are saying before they lie to me then when they do tell the truth just listen don’t react and don’t punish it just treat them with respect like a person and they will build that trust with you over time
2 Likes
As far as the dating I don’t see an issue with a school boyfriend. She will be more likely to trust and talk and ask questions if she feels like she has freedom to make some of her own choices. That is a supervised place and just not allow in person contact outside of school. She will do it anyway.
3 Likes
I think my parents were too opinionated on everything and had strong reaction to everything and I could never be myself or open up. Don’t label anything she confides. Talk as a friend and “guide” indirectly. Also, do things with her which she likes. And also I know as a Mom, we have opinions and views but at this point, just limit them and focus on building a healthy relationship, once she is in your team, you can open up and share more of your views and opinions. And always make sure you tell her you love her no matter what.
2 Likes
She’s definitely lying for a reason. You have to get to the root of that or the lies will continue. My son was lying about everything. He even stole gum from the store once because I wouldn’t let him have any. I stopped giving it to him because he would get it on the car seat, the carpet in the house, and on his clothes. So I said he can’t have any until he’s a little bit older because obviously he wasn’t listening to “keep the gum in your mouth” So I decided he could only have it at certain times and where I was near to be able to watch him. You need more open communication. Let her get a Snapchat and get on social media. Just monitor as much as you can. She may be a little bit more responsible than you think. When she shows you otherwise then start taking those things away. My mom was really strict on me. I would just sneak and hide. Got pregnant at 18.
1 Like
I hate to say this bc I don’t know the actual relationship between you and her… but she might not trust you due to something that happened. I lied to my family about things for years. Except my step mom. I didn’t trust them and felt anything I told them would get me in trouble as they were super strict and I couldn’t do anything. I always had my phone taken away. I wasn’t allowed to have sc at 14. I understand it all now. But they never took the time to sit down and talk with me. They never took the time to make sure I was okay or knew the consequences. It doesn’t mean you have to be friends with her by any means, but maybe just sitting down and telling her you love her, and just want her to be safe. Talk about consequences with certain things. Maybe let her have the snapchat, but keep an eye on it. If you keep going as you are, next thing you’ll know she’ll be sneaking out lying about who she’s with instead.
2 Likes
Possible borderline personality disorder?
3 Likes
Start questioning everything she tells you, even the small stuff like having a shower, even if you know it’s the truth. Then when she screams why don’t you believe me tell her that she’s lied to you so many times that you no longer believe her. My kids tried to pull a fast one on me for a couple of months and I pulled that on them, they soon started telling me the truth
1 Like
I’m just going to be blunt, she’s lying because you have too tight of a leash and don’t trust her.
17 Likes
Honestly with some kids no matter how patient, kind or understanding you are they just lie about everything for no reason.
1 Like
I tried… I tried so SO hard…
Absolute most genuine and sincerest good luck mama…
My 13yo was caught steal (over $100) and caught stealing from family friends… When we tried to be good parents and discipline her (NEVER physical): miss 13 ran away from home, accused my Husband (her stepdad) of “kicking” her so hard she was too scared to come home (7yo old son witnessed the moment she’s lying about and confirms there was no kick, (or any other contact whatsoever))
Well miss 13 lied to her school counsellor AND the cops about it too…
And they sent her off to Sydney to live with her bio-dad (he has an acute mental illness) and there was zero notification to me or any sort of investigation into her accusations whatsoever.
I truly hope you find a way to help your little miss learn how damaging lying can really be before she tells lies that cause irreparable hurt and damage. 
1 Like
So basically you have used scare tactics and now your daughter doesn’t trust you… you are the last person she wants to come to to talk about important stuff.
Important stuff at her age includes boys. You’ve pushed her away. Secluding your daughter from the world will not save her. She is a teenager and teenagers are curious. The more you hide her away the more she will rebel.
You should have taught her that she can trust you to go through these big changes. Instead you scared her and made her feel bad for being a normal teen. Now anything she does will be a secret from you. Teenagers are curious by nature and they need a safe place to fall. Without that they will make irrational decisions. You need to open up to your child and stop trying to be a warden. Help her learn to make smart educated decisions. Show her that she will always have you. Because with or without your permission she will make decisions. It’s your job to teach her the right decisions. Not scare her away from normal teenage behavior.
11 Likes
Bottomline they dont deserve to be treated like adults and allowed adult things…and adult permissions…they need to grow up and respect us as parents before they can be let off of their baby leash. Its up to them. Keep on her
You are shooting yourself in the foot being so controlling. No wonder she lies😂
5 Likes
take her off the tight leash and treat her like a friend for a minute, bond with her! i relate to this so much!! i was this child! momma wouldn’t let me go anywhere or do anything without having contact with other parents etc and i just started lying and sneaking out. soon enough i got tired of the wedge and blurted “you make me feel like im a prisoner and i can’t stand that you dont feel like my mom anymore” soon enough we started doing little things together… painting each others nails, telling each other boy gossip, or just talking about our feelings towards situations (not situations of the two of us, but similar situations we had been involved with like when she was my age and how she remembered how it felt to not be popular or how she wasnt perfect or how boys were mean) just relating in a sense where the conversation doesn’t turn volatile at all. it has bonded us so well and i trust her with my life now more than anyone. (this phase was when i was 12-15) and i am now 19 and she is my bestfriend call me wierd but my mama is kind of cool:sweat_smile:
7 Likes
Myself and my 22 year old have the best relatio ship. I didn’t restrict him but he knew if he stepped over the mark that there would be consequences. He has confided everything in me all his life. He was allowed social media at 14 but I had to have access too which I rarely logged on as I trusted he was behaving. He is my best friend now. And an amazing young man.It’s a two way street. I think you’ve made it so she feels she has to lie to keep you happy. You need to relax a little and compromise. Her friends have a little freedom and you and her need to compromise hers. And let her know that your there for her.
3 Likes
Punishment and restrictions will only push her further away until she escapes at the first opportunity and is never close to you again. I had a mother like you and I left home as soon as I turned 16, got into all sorts of trouble of course but I could not bear to be treated like the child I did not believe I was. I have a teenager of my own now and I have always talked to him and explained my worries, and I’ve given him responsibility and my trust. And he is the most sensible kid out of all his friends.
3 Likes
The thing is, you need to start picking your battles. The more you try and restrict her from doing things like having social media and dating, which is the norm for the current generation, the more you will force her to go behind your back. I believe you need to let her have some things, I.e facebook and insta, but not others, I.e snap and tik tok. Or vice versa. Same with the boyfriend. Whether you allow it or not, where there is a will, there is a way, so you need to put boundaries in place, so something like, yes you may date boys from your school, but dates are chaperoned, and they aren’t left alone, no boys above a certain age etc. It may be hard to do, but at the moment I think by being overly strict, you are forcing her to go behind your back when you need to be more teaching her how to make good choices. I have 3 teenage girls so I do feel your pain, and this is what I have done with mine. I have access to all their accounts, and they tell me everything, and call me if they find themselves in a situation where they are unsure, or where something has gone terribly wrong. They are all going to make mistakes along the path of life, no matter how strict you are, so now is the time to show her trust, but trust with boundaries.