Anyways. I’m losing my mind. My daughter will be 7 in a few weeks. And she’s constantly having poop accidents. I’ve took her to drs. I’ve done everything I can. And she’s still having them. She did tell me the other day some of them really aren’t accidents. She just don’t wanna stop what she’s doing. I feel like she’s making me look like a bad mom cause she’s doing it at school too. I’m not sure what to do. Grounding doesn’t do anything.
38 Likes
How does she feel about wiping? Is she confident in her ability to clean herself? I agree with all of the other comments, and I went through something similar. Doctor couldn’t help, nobody was touching him… he just didn’t want to wipe. He was afraid of getting poo on his hands so if he pooped his pants it meant someone else would definitely clean him.
We are working on being more confident with it. He is to try on his own, but I’m there as back up if he’s having a hard time or it’s extra messy. Once I started helping him again he stopped. I’d rather help him wipe a little longer than have to deal with the accidents.
Start a bathroom routine until she gets it down. That means stop and have her go sit on the toilet several times throughout the day, after a bit she will realize that’s more of a hassle than just going when she needs.
9 Likes
I think this alone should be looked into and looked into hard! Maybe something happened?, maybe someone scared her? , either way hope you find out what and find something for her. Hope she is ok soon. 
1 Like
Mine still has an issue and he’ll be 7 in June. He has severe constipation to the point of daily medications, and he says it’s makes him feel more comfortable and it’s less scary to do it in his pants. Such a hard habit to break but we did come a long long long way with sitting at a scheduled time daily and lots and lots of liquids
1 Like
Definitely common for kids to have this problem when they’re constipated. They don’t understand what is going on either, and it makes it hard for them to explain. I really feel for kids going through this. My son had a hard time for quite a while.
1 Like
My now 7 just done this over Christmas holidays. Didn’t want to miss out on what he was doing so he would try hold but then he would let a little out to try take the urge away. Once we were back home it stopped.
I’d consider a medical issue vs behavioral issues. Tethered spinal cord is a possibility.
Take away everything. All her toys, everything. My daughter is 4.5 and she’s been peeing her bed like once a week when there is absolutely no excuse, there is a bathroom right down the hall with the light always on. We told her tonight, if she does it again we’re taking her things away.
3 Likes
My 5 nearly 6 year old does this she was on laxities as a baby and toddler doctor put it down to constipation.
Our son was having poop accidents and he would hold it for so long that when he finally went it was painful. We started just making him sit on the toilet everyday and then rewarding him when he did go. I’m not above bribing and it worked for us
My daughter had this issue she’s 6 she’s terrified to go cause it hurts 
My old friends kid was doing this at that age and she had extreme anxiety and that’s why she was doing it apparently
Is she being bullied ? My oldest when he was in grade 3 would have accidents on purpose or run inside to bathroom to miss bus on purpose or do it before we’d get to the school if I walked him so I’d have to take him home he wouldn’t say why at first but eventually said it was because he was being bullied . I started keeping extra clothes and a towel at school so he couldn’t use the excuse of no extra clothes at school
2 Likes
Doing this at school I feel would be so difficult for any child to do this on purpose. Did your Dr. give any reasons for this, or did you ask your daughter if she was having problems? There maybe a very good reason for this even though it’s not odvious yet.
My son did this but with peeing. Said he didn’t Wana stop playing video games or watching his shows. Took away it all til he learned he can pause things. Now he does still wet the bed n he’s 10 now but nocturnal eurethera runs in my family and my sister didn’t grow out of bed wetting til she was almost 13 because she had that. But for the day time stuff taking away the things he didn’t want to put down for a bathroom break worked wonders
2 Likes
My daughter did this starting around age 3 for about 2.5 years and it was because she ripped herself one day and since then she was afraid to go and was holding it and at school the loud flushing sound kf the toilet would scare her so we held it and it just became a habit. If she has had any sort of trauma. Alot can trigger the afraid to poop good luck
2 Likes
My brother used to do this and he was extremely constipated. He had to go in for a three day clean out to get his system working correctly again and even then if he didn’t sit and take the time to go he would just drop poop when he walked.
7 Likes
Could be constipation. Put her on a daily fiber and chewable probiotic.Don’t use Miralax it’s horrible for children and doesn’t help long term.
My 6 1/2 year old daughter refuses to poop in the toilet she’s had problems with constipation and not going regularly. I’ve tried laxatives, restoralax powder/gummies, increasing water intake to get her more regular. Her eating habits aren’t the greatest and she’s extremely picky which contributes to her issue. I mentioned it to my dr not too long ago she wasn’t concerned and said she’ll eventually use the toilet and reassured me she wouldn’t graduate highschool going in her pants or pull-up. If you want to message me feel free
Please Take her to the doctor make sure nobody is touching her.
12 Likes
- Give her laxatives for a few days to make sure she is cleaned out.
- Make her sit on the potty many times a day
- When she gets home from school, give her an oversized shirt to wear with nothing underneath, and make sure she knows she will be cleaning any mess she makes.
Did this for my bonus son, he was about the same age, worked like a charm. He stopped within a couple of days.
2 Likes
My daughter was doing the same thing, we brought her to a gastroenterologist and she was diagnosed with encoprecsis, which a few people mentioned.
Make her clean up her accidents and wash the clothes.
1 Like
Any symptoms of ADHD? Not wanting to stop what they are doing and being super focused on something that they forget to acknowledge bodily feelings can be a part of ADHD.
1 Like
There could be some sort of trauma. It could be anything. I did this. I had a very unstable home life when I was a child, one thing led to another. Idk why I did it, But I did it for a very long time. I would just hold it, which in turn it would just come out, and led to peeing the bed aswell. I was embarrassed, but after while its like a habit. Only can speak from experience.
5 Likes
My middle child is same age and we’ve dealt with it for idk how long. Same like you I’ve been to doctors upon doctors. My child is severely ADHD so a lot of that is apart of it. I have tried it all when it comes to solving this. The on thing that has helped is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)therapy. She has now been accident free for almost 7 months. I never had this problem with my oldest child so it was definitely something that I was not prepared to deal with; but every child is different. I definitely recommend CBT since you’ve confirmed there’s no medical issue behind it.
I have poosidents for a long time. Idk I just held it and I still don’t want to poop
This may not be what you want to hear , but many SA child victims soil themselves. Please look very closely into this.
It’s constipation and I’ll die on this hill. Get on top of it and ahead of it like you would pain meds. Children will hold it in for so long that it starts going around the hard poop trying to exit but because it’s so big from holding it child is scared to push and keeps holding it in. Or some comes out in a fart after doing that. we call it skidding.
6 Likes
Second opinion for sure. If there genuinely is no GI issues then I’d consult a therapist to look into behavioral reasons. Had this issue with my nephew he didn’t want to stop playing even at 6. Got to the point every hour we stopped him from what he was doing and made him sit on the toilet and try. Felt like ages but eventually he did stop. My sister had constipation issues so we thought that was it but his was strictly a behavior problem.
1 Like
Talk to your pediatrician and in mean time make him change and clean himself up
She might have a medical problem. I would get a gastroenterologist opinion and if no medical problem is found she might be dealing with a psychological issue or a trauma. Try to ask her if anything is bothering her. You can also try a counselor to see if they can get to the root of the problem and if it seems like an emotional issue or a behavioral issue and go from there. I don’t think she should be grounded for that but there is nothing wrong with asking her to wash out her underwear unless that causes more issues for you.
1 Like
Constipation. Have her drink more water. I’m sure the kid is embarrassed enough. I can’t believe grounding was even a factor though 
Look up encopresis. Alotta people that put input into it was calling my kiddo lazy and not trying to use the bathroom, a bad diet, asking if there was some sort of SA that could have happened because they are all possibilities of kids soiling pants on the internet. At times sure lazy and could eat better at times, but this was getting bad and interfering with school and play dates. Doctor finally referred him to PT (7yrs old) to work on his butt muscles.
2 Likes
Don’t pay as much attention to it… if it is behavioral she will stop. If the drs say there are no issues I would just continue on. Sometimes when we make a big deal out of something children have a way of making it bigger. Maybe she’s trying to get attention for some reason???
1 Like
My daughter did the same, in the end she was constipated and she was afraid to poo 
for the pain . Explain to her how important it is taking time to with help of a book or pictures of the body
3 Likes
7 is pretty old for that. I’d check out a therapist.
Look up encopresis- make sure she’s not constipated, I know it sounds crazy cause she’s pooping her pants but both my kids have it. It’s a condition where they have leakage cause they are constipated. I would see a GI doc.
28 Likes
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It sounds incredibly frustrating and overwhelming for both you and your daughter. Have you considered looking into her diet and possible food sensitivities? Sometimes certain foods (especially heavily processed) can lead to behavioral issues and accidents. It might be worth discussing this with her doctor or nutritionist to see if there are any dietary changes that could help. Hang in there.
Maybe she had something happen to her and you are not aware of. May wanna talk to her deeply. Otherwise that’s gross and she needs to be a taught on why it is gross and why we go in the toilet rather then our pants. Ps just cause she does this at school doesn’t make you a bad Mom & it doesn’t make her a bad kid. I wouldn’t discipline her for this at all. She’s got something going on clearly. Just need to figure out what that is. Goodluck
39 Likes
If it’s a “not wanting to go to the bathroom because she wants to play”, I’d have her clean herself up. Poopy underwear and all. Don’t throw the poopy clothes away but clean them herself.
2 Likes
My son went through this at 7 and trust me I was BEYOND embarrassed by the crap he was doing. They do grow out of it.
my son does the same thing we make him go sit on the toilet after school or after he eats , he is 5 tho.
4 Likes
Take her to a psychiatrist. There’s a reason she’s doing that if it isn’t medical related. & if nothing else, they’re likely to be able to give you productive pointers.
3 Likes
there’s something going on… she’s not doing it to make you look it feel bad about yourself as a mom…
7 is definitely old enough to feel embarrassed about doing it, especially at school. Something else has to be going on. If it were because she doesn’t want to stop what she was doing then I feel like she would be having pee and poop accidents. I was the kid who peed my pants all the time because I didn’t want to stop playing, but I was 3 or 4. I would find a different doctor and get a second opinion.
33 Likes
Make her clean herself and underwear. She won’t like it and hopefully will stop
1 Like
Has she been evaluated for sensory processing? I don’t think she is doing this on purpose. There is almost always an underlying cause. Discipline could make it worse.
22 Likes
I’m sure she’ll stop once other kids start picking on her if she does it at school. Sometimes, kids need to learn the hard way. Especially if there’s not a medical reason behind it.
5 Likes
Put her to clean up…wash the poop out of her clothes.
1 Like
Have you tried busting her ass !!!
Put her in depends and make her responsible for cleaning herself up
My son did this until he was 8. He was very constipated. Once he did it at school and he had to change his underwear and they were white and huge. This seems cruel but the kids made fun of him and he never did it again. You’re not a bad mom.
11 Likes
Bad Mother No its not about YOU it’s about HER . My mom was like that and I grew up with many emotional issues. Please rethink your point of view for your daughter’s sake
Make her wash her panties herself by hand
2 Likes
Start with the pediatrician, get scans to look for constipation. See a pediatric urologist. If that’s clear, I would suggest a psych evaluation to rule out sensory issues, other neurodiversities, or some type of trauma.
I agree with others who said not to punish. There’s something else going on here. Also, be in touch with her teachers to let them know you’re working on it. Kids do ridiculous things for all sorts of reasons, anyone who judges you or her is ignorant.
Try to find a pattern. Is this happening when playing, like she seems distracted & doesn’t want to stop what she’s doing? Is there something that has changed recently, divorce, new job, separation, new partner, new school, death or illness of a friend or family member, new sibling, anything? This can often be a sign of truama, so punishment is probably not a great solution. Make her help you clean it up, every time. Try talking calmly about what caused this to happen while cleaning it up. Add a probiotic to see if it is a constipation issue. And is it just at home or any time?
My daughter did that until she was five, for her to stop it took an unexpected necessary stay with a friend of mine at church. I had explained to friend the situation and sent clothes with daughter but she not only peed but pooped in her pants and my friend fussed and told her that she was to old to be doing that and she was never to do it again, haha I reckon it either shamed or scared her because she never did it again.
19 Likes
I would be more worried about her mental health and thought process then your image because of what she does…
7 Likes
My son still does this at 11. It’s 100% constipation. It hurts to sit down an go he says. He doesn’t do it at school and will wait till he gets home. Cycling the constipation all over again. If she’s doing it at school let’s face it, when ya gotta go ya gotta go lol. My son also has social anxiety. That’s just part of it. If you or your doctor can’t figure out a reason, maybe a counselor can. At 7 years old is a physical or mental health issue and possibly both. Just don’t punish her for it because that will only make matters worse. Good luck
4 Likes
Not to super worry you, but Growing up one of my friends little sister had a similar issue. (Never said it wasn’t an accident tho.)
After many doctors, she finally saw a neurologist and they found out she had brain cancer, two large tumors pressing on her cerebellum.
Thankfully she beat cancers ass at only 6 years old.
1 Like
Second and even third medical opinions. It’s something physical or psychological or both.
You need to give her consequences. Make her wash her soiled clothes. Put her in pull-ups during the day and diapers at night She should not be destroying clothes, bedding and furniture. Take tv away . Set a timer and make her go to the bathroom. Increase water and miralax
1 Like
This seems like it might be a trauma or control thing. Like she needs to feel like she can control some part of her life. So avoiding going so she can stay doing what she is doing?
Our 7 year old does the same thing. We ended up taking hin to his pediatrician and he has whats called Encopresis. I would definitely get a second opinion. He was put on miralax for 30 days. We are hoping this works as we are basically having to start potty training all over again to get his brain to register he has to go. I know its frustrating. He hates sitting on the toilet because its “boring”. We try to let him Take a book or his switch to reduce the boredom too. Good luck mama!
2 Likes
Maybe she wants some kind of attention, reason doing it at school
1 Like
I know you don’t want to think of this possibility but has she been s*xually abused at her by anybody or any other signs? The reason that popped in my head is cause you did say she’s doing it on purpose and sometimes victims will do things on purpose if they think it will prevent the abuser from hurting them anymore. Please sit her down and have a conversation with her and ask why she’s doing it on purpose. If she isn’t willing to talk about it to you then I suggest taking her to a therapist because there’s a reason she’s doing it.
Now if it’s been determined nobody is touching her or doing anything bad to her then I suggest you starting doing consequences for it. It’s what I did to my son and he never did it again but he did it one top on purpose so I got some disposable gloves, soap, a step stool, and grabbed my sons hand and took him to the bathroom and told him to clean them up. He whined and he threw a fit too but I wasn’t having it. He did clean them up and he never did it on purpose again. He was about 4 at that time when he did it.
So if there’s no medical reasoning, no SA, and a therapist doesn’t think anything is wrong than you will need to be consistent with consequences.
1 Like
If she has only been to a primary care doctor, take her to a gastroenterology specialist.
In the meantime, stop punishing her.
Get a potty watch. Have her sit on the potty every 2 hours.
Cut out most artificial colors (like those in artificial drinks, Popsicles, etc).
Increase her water intake. If she doesn’t like water, add propel to it.
Give her 1 cup of miralax every Friday so she can go easily on the weekend. Watch her poo habits during the week to ensure her poo doesn’t look like she’s constipated. Do 1/2 cap of she does appear constipated.
Add a children’s probiotic and fiber gummy daily.
Encopresis- look it up & take her to a gastroenterologist doctor to have an x-ray.
1 Like
My daughter is 8 and this still happens. She deals with chronic constipation which leads to accidents of poop and urine.
No 7 year old is purposely doing this at school without a reason.
8 Likes
Have you gone to GI? I’m having simular issues with my son and I don’t think je has the sensation of when he needs to go
If it is a control issue then she likely needs more quality time with you
Do you think maybe she has Encopresis? It’s a condition in which a child resists having bowel movements, causing impacted stool to collect in the colon and rectum and lead to leakage.
I dealt with this with my niece and thought my niece was doing it on purpose, but it’s an actual diagnosis. I pray your daughter grows out of it… it was rough to deal with😪
You need to talk with her doctor. It may be medical
It’s a medical condition called encopresis.
Make her clean her own underwear.
Make her hand wash her underwear. When she gets mad at having to do it, it will stop happening.
34 Likes
U ground her for having accidents ? I would think that would make the situation worse thete might b something going on ur not aware of I would consider some type of counseling
3 Likes
Is the child autistic/adhd/odd any others I have may left out??? Therapy is a good Start (aba, ot, pt) list goes on. But I was told for one kid to make sure they sit on the potty 10 mins after they eat. But schedule is a big thing make sure she’s on a potty schedule even if she doesn’t need/want to go stop everything and it stays stopped until she goes to the potty
My son did this until to bought some diapers that fit him, sat him down and told him if he keeps doing that like a baby he will be wearing these diapers like a baby and changing them himself. He hasn’t done it since
Constipation caused Mt granddaughter to have poop accidentd
Sensory processing disorder or encopresis?
Is a solid? The reason I am asking is bc when I worked at a children’s home I had a kiddo doing the same thing. Come to find out they were compacted and what we as the staff thought was poop was actually seepage. There was so much we thought the kid was pooping their pants. The Dr explained that even though they were compacted the liquid from the poop was making its way around the compacted area.
Are you sure she hasn’t been molested or raped? This is certainly a sign.
Talk to her. It might feel uncomfortable to poo, maybe she doesn’t like the smell, or being alone, or maybe her body isn’t signalling properly. Maybe she doesn’t care, maybe she doesn’t know until it’s half out.
When you find out the why it’ll be much easier helping her. Can ask her are you worried about blah, how does it feel when you need to poop or before you poop. Do you like having poop on your bottom?
Encopresis (stool hoarding)
I did this when I was that age and it was because I was severely constipated and it hurt to go sitting down. My mom would get so mad and I couldn’t give her a valid reason for why I was doing it at the time. I’m sure it’s not on purpose in the way you’re thinking it is.
11 Likes
My son was doing it up until recently. I thought it was on purpose also. It turned out he was severly constipated! We used restorlax for a couple of weeks and he’s been good ever since!
My son did the same around the same age. I tried everything, when it continued I made him clean up after himself. And we talked about how some luxuries (tv, toys) would be taken from him because maybe that was a distraction. He got it together again. Let me say, I felt like the worst mom ever making him clean up after himself but it got his attention.
If it makes you feel better, my brother will be 21 soon and he still pees the bed 
we swear he’s just too lazy to get up in the middle of the night. Once he’s asleep, you leave him alone 
Can I ask if this is a recent thing or she’s been doing it since she was potty trained?
I’d put her back in diapers until I was able to properly house train her
That is a massive red flag! Please make sure she hasn’t been touched in anyway. It’s a huge sign. Punishing her won’t do any good, maybe just try talking to her?
She is doing this as a form of control
Is there a new baby around?
Thats a strong sign of Sexual Abuse.
Hi, there is some sort of trauma going on. Children don’t process trauma, they do thongs like your daughter…attention seeking behavior. It also may make her feel liberated to do this. I hope she gets the help she needs.
My nephew did this far beyond normal age. Dcf came out to talk to him because they said it’s common in children who had been sexually abused. After they spoke to him they never came again but it continued. It took making him sit on the toilet a couple times a day to get it to stop. He said he could never tell he had to go until it was too late.
My dad put my brother back in pull ups until he stopped. It was embarrassing. And he quickly decided it wasn’t worth going to school like that…