As a mom of 4 and having custody of my baby sister. It is a stage and sorry don’t force the issue at this time it’s about hanging out on line with friends haha they do grow out of it
Dont force her or punish her its worse thing you can do. Show her you support her and compromise . She can stay but has to do something holiday with you like watch movie . And curl uo with her hug her and just support her through this she will be more likely to keep coming to you with how she feels
take mental health seriously. yes sometimes we have to do things er dont want, but sometimes we need to do things for ourself that others dont want us to do. its a two way street
She’s 15 not 20… If you feel like she needs to go she’s going 🤷 we all had to do things as kids that we didn’t want to do but our parents made us do anyway. Letting her withdraw from family isn’t going to help her if she does have mental health issues thats the worse thing you can do is allow her to be withdrawn even more. I had and still have depression and anxiety so bad sometimes that i have to force myself out of bed and go to work if i didnt my kids wouldn’t have a roof over thier heads. I work in retail which is the worse job you can have when you have severe anxiety but i Force myself out of my comfort zone and thats what she needs. You also need to look into counseling and therapy get her a journal or diary to write her thoughts in
She’s 15 which is rough to start with because of physical changes, but if she’s got a mental illness then forcing her can cost you more than someone’s hurt feelings… This is about how she feels not you. I have bipolar disorder II and I hate the holidays. I’ve been that way since I was her age. We found out about the bipolar when I was 17. She may not have the ability to deal with or cope with people outside of the ones she sees everyday. People tend to ignore the subtle yet sudden change in body language that suggests something’s wrong.
Dont push her. The more you push the more you’re pushing her away. Shes 15 things are going on she doesnt understand. Sounds like she could be being bullied as well. Inwas bullied and ut made me not wanna go around anyone.
So you’re going to punish her by returning her gifts because she doesn’t feel up to going? If she’s dealing with depression you shouldn’t be forcing her to do anything because I know for fact everyone has days they don’t want to be sociable and coming from a person that struggles with mental health threats and pressuring me or forcing me to do things only makes me upset n want to retaliate or seclude myself away… ppl that deal with mental health need space forcing her to do things she doesn’t want to if she’s dealing with things will only put a strain on you and her relationship
This is my opinion, she is 15, you’re the mom, not a friend.
My boys didn’t wanna do a lot of things growing up, but, til they are/were 18 they done/do what I say without back talk & disrespect.
Good luck.
Your the parent not her and if it was like mine when they wanted to stay home alone they had no good plans plotted while your awat
If my kids dont want to go, I don’t make them go. Simple. My child’s happiness is most important. Bring her a plate of food, show her some pictures, and leave it be. She only gets to be a kid once. Better to let her be happy at home than miserable around people she doesn’t want to be with.
15 yr old…
Just being difficult bcz she is 15. Hormones and peers make them all rebellious
Do not force her to go somewhere she is uncomfortable if she is struggling already
A smile better be planted on her face as well!
Tell her she gotta go and that’s that. I wouldnt take gifts away however either
Ok. You said she is struggling with some mental health issues… That alone for me would be a no way… Depression and suicide is high this time of year… I am not saying she would …but…
Let her stay home. She may be dealing with issues with the family that you know nothing about.
I’d stay home with my daughter.
Your teen is walking over you . Merry Christmas
Make her go eat and say hello then return her butt home. Better to hear a little whining then the whole night.been there done this today
It’s part of life, make her go.
Been through two teenagers on the third you learn their teicks
Her mental health comes before Christmas
Try talking quietly with her (alone) and listen, don’t judge.
She’s 15. Old enough to decide if she wants to go or stay home.
Leave her alone and go without her. It will not happen again. Don’t refuse her gifts.
Tell her Christmas is about family not gifts.
dont force her to do something she doesnt want to do
Maybe let her invite a friend along with you or a close relative she’s comfortable with.
Sorry I meant while your away friends boyfriend
Your her mom you can say too bad your going
Fuck the family and their expectations.
Forcing your kid to be miserable and/or uncomfortable to make others happy only teaches her that her feelings don’t matter to you or the family.
I would let her stay home if she’s struggling mentally and emotionally. She’s communicating with you, it’s not about hurting your or your family’s feelings. You should realize she isn’t trying to disappoint you or make anyone upset, she is trying to make herself happy and feel better. If you don’t want to tell your family the truth just say she is sick and let her have a mental health day at home
When I was 15 I didn’t have a say so in family events. She’s still a child and this mental health shit is getting out of hand. Everyone babies everyone and is too scared to spank their children and make them mind, that’s why there is so many “mental health issues”
She’s testing the waters make her ass go
I wouldn’t make her go & I wouldn’t return her gifts. Her mental health is more important & she shouldn’t be punished for it.
Have you considered an evaluation for her mental health? I would start there.
I love all these, ‘you’re the parent’ and ‘toughen up c’mom’ crap like ok boomer that’s why your generation is the way it is now DYSFUNCTIONAL. Listen to your daughter and tell the family to go pound sand.
You only see them a couple times a year. Itd be awkward for me as well. 🤷 for some people this time of year is seriously draining mentally. Dont dismiss her feelings.
Make her a deal: she can stay home but she has to get help for her mental issues. If it’s a good enough reason to stay home, it’s bad enough that she needs help
Telling anyone that is dealing with mental health issues that we just have to do things we don’t like is probably the rudest and most derogatory thing ever. Family or not… mental health comes before anything else.
Does your family understand that your daughter has mental health issues? Never force someone who suffers with mental health issues to do or go somewhere they don’t want to be or around. If they can’t understand that then so be it, you’re her mother and shouldn’t get upset, it’s the way her mindset is and won’t change. Maybe have her invite a friend over to watch a movie so she won’t be alone but please don’t force her to go if she doesn’t want to… it’s a very complicated illness that not very many will understand and that’s okay, she needs to be comfortable and if that means she’s rather be alone then let her.
Let her stay home! Having some mental health issues myself, this would be best!
Let her stay home. She is 15 and mental health issues are hard on them
Maybe stop trying to manipulate your child and actually listen to them? Strange concept I know. Growing up I had the same “reasons” for not wanting to go to family gatherings. That they were boring and left out or whatever. In reality, I didn’t even want to be in the same room as my uncle because he molested me as a young child but I never told anyone. I hid my depression and anxiety for 12 years. This girl is very clearly stating she does not want to go and is uncomfortable with going, so whatever her reasons may be, just listen to her it’s not that hard to be a decent human being, and a good mother, by respecting your daughter. So stop using gifts as leverage to force your kids to do whatever you want, and start treating them like humans with human emotions.
And before anyone says it: no, I am not implying that her uncle is molesting/has molested her. I’m simply sharing a small piece of my story to emphasize that this mother has absolutely zero idea what is going on with her daughter and yet still demands she be uncomfortable for the sake of “family traditions”.