My ten-year-old daughter just blurted out to me that she’s bi. She says she has a crush on a girl. I told her I didn’t think she was old enough to make a decision that big yet, but that I was glad she felt she could come to me. My mind is kind of blown right now. Does anyone have any insight into this?
Dont. She can decide if she’s bi. Kids can know these things at a young age. Just be supportive
That’s good that she feels as if she can come to you for advice. Keep an open mind and do not try to make her statement invalid. By saying “that she isn’t old enough to make this decision” is almost making her statement seem minuscule and that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Let her make the discovery on her own and just support her.
Be there for her… that’s my advice as a parent.
I would tell her that it’s ok to like whomever she likes, girl or boy, and that you will love her and support her no matter what
Don’t treat her any differently. Just go along with it as if she was straight.
Just support her through her journey as she discovers who she is. I definitely wouldn’t tell her she isn’t old enough, that is dismissive and judgmental. Just cause you don’t understand doesn’t mean her feelings aren’t real. We all had crushes at that age, this is no different
If shes old enough to decide that and let you know- then she knows! I was in the same shoes at her age! The best thing you can do is BE SUPPORTIVE and be THERE
Given the fact it was so random I think that was an appropriate response, I also think 10 is young. I think before they explore anything sexually then they can’t be 100% sure BUT as long as she feels comfortable talking to you about anything that’s what really matters
Ask her if she heard it somewhere cuz kids don’t just wake up and decide it it’s all the brainwashing going on in this world we use to have two genders just make and female now they wanna be making up new genders
I would love and support her and I would not tell her I think she was to young
I feel like in my mind I wouldn’t label it just yet. I’d tell her to just like who she likes. No big deal.
Would you tell her she isn’t old enough to have a crush on a boy?
I knew I liked girls by the time I was in 2nd grade. I’m married to a man but I’m still very much attracted to females. I don’t think she’s too young to make that decision. A feeling is a feeling and if she feels like she has a crush on this girl then she DOES. Be supportive, be open minded and don’t put her down or down play her feelings. It’s a good sign she came to you about it!! Don’t ruin that!
I’ve known I liked girls and boys since I was eight years old. Still do. Alot of what these parents are saying rings true.
It isnt a decision. Let her feel how she feels. Be there for her.
Sounds like you did the right thing to me. Just wait and see what happens, and stay as calm as you are right now when she definatelly makes a decision. Most of all keep that communication open!
Be there for her. Don’t push a label.
Absolutely nothing is different from today than yesterday.
Tolk 2 a family Dr about this with your daughter there not people on face book your daughter may not want her life out there like this
Don’t tell her she’s not old enough to make that decision. Just go with it, don’t make a big deal about it.
Just support her and listen to her. I was around her age when I started liking people, so she’s definitely not too young for that. I’m happy she was confident enough in herself to come to you with this.
Is she not old enough to know she likes boys?
You should take comfort in the fact that she trusts you enough to come to you.
Shes 10. Treat the situation the same way you would if the crush was on a boy. That’s just my opinion. A crush is a crush.
My 12 year old and I recently had a conversation about this. At first I told I needed a few minutes to process it(not that I’m against it but I thought at 12 it would be too young to understand what that meant). After I took a minute I told her that no matter what/who she loves/likes is fine with me as long as she’s happy and they treat her properly, we also discussed about if she has feelings stronger than hugs that she needs to talk to me so that we can discuss the safety things related to moving forward in any relationship weather it be a male or female
Support her in whatever she decides! Sometimes they “grow out” of this but even if they don’t that’s okay! Love her the same!!!
Just support her decision as of now… It is possible that as she grows that her decision may change… But their is also a possibilty that her decision won’t… I knew I was gay around 11 years old but that was just my own personal experience… My best advice is to just continue being a loving and supporting parent and as she grows she will make a definitive decision about her sexuality but be careful not to minimalize and make her statement feel less than because of her age… This comment is purely my thoughts and opinoins.
I dont see how shes not old enough. If she had a crush on a boy would your reaction be the same?
I think she trusted you and you should support her. Let her know crushes come and go, but shes allowed to crush on whoever she wants. Make her aware that not every girl likes other girls so there may be some heartbreak happening.
Kids learn things like that from others and dont know what it means or implies. You can ask her where she heard that term from, will give you a better idea of her thought process.
that was the age my daughter told me, She 17 now and still feel that way. I support her all the way.
Its literally not even a big deal. you’re just being “that” parent.
Ur daughter is old enough to know her own mind
I was like 6 when I started having crushes on girls. Didn’t do it romantically or sexually, just became enthralled and liked them alot and wanted to spend alot of time with them. Family claims they knew I would be lesbian or bisexual when oldwr because of it. Officially came out when I was 13
Nothings different than if she liked a boy
Just love her. That’s all.
I knew when my Daughter was that young that she’s gay Now she’s an Adult & engaged to be married to a Woman All you can do is support her & be there for her
Ignore it & just say okay. May just be a phase. Kids that age are just now starting to explore themselves. Their minds change on things all the time.
If she’s old enough to know what bi is she’s old enough to have those feelings, treat it as any other crush being bi isn’t bad or a crime
I really think its something they want to follow their friends. I have a 12 year old that did the same last school year. So I told her you may think the girl is pretty you may think the girl is cute and maybe you even admire her for her style but let’s just not think about it right now. It’s okay if that’s what you like but let’s leave it open for the future
I’m not sure it’s a choice she made. It’s a feeling she has.
At 10, my boys were not girls. They aren’t gay, it was not in their top priority. She’s figuring herself out. Help her make decisions and guide her.
She knows! My brother knew he was gay when he was 7. Every little kid has crushes n his was not on any girls. Just support her.
when they are 10-they change their mind every few months-she will feel different about a lot of things as she gets 18 or 21-she may have friends she wants to be like
It’s the new fad of the age. Just love her .don’t confront her, pray a lot.
Just be there and let her know that she is loved. It does make sleep overs more complicated. If that comes up, it’s a little complicated. Good luck to you both.
She is old enough to know who she is attracted to. I liked boys since I can remember pre-k. There is no specific age. If she says she is Bi and she likes girls then she does.
Kids have crushes at very young ages…
Shes too young to explore physically but mentally she has already been exploring for some time. Her telling you now probably took her a long time to build the courage.
Be open minded and support her along her journey.
sounds like you handled it just right. be accepting of her no matter what, and she’ll know she can always come to you regardless.
Love her and be there for her mama. Support her. Tell her she is worthy and she is enough.
Girl crushes are normal doesn’t mean she is gay
Just accept and support her.
Uh. She is definitely old enough to make that decision. It’s not a big deal. She likes girls. Cool. Just show her you are going to support her no matter what.
I had a girl who’s 10, in my class, come out and tell me she wasn’t sure what she was but she might be bi. I asked why and she said she didn’t “like” anyone yet… so simple. Not as complicated as us let her know you’ll be there to support whatever decision she makes at whatever age. It’s not like she’s gonna go start making out with her crush right away
That’s about the same age my daughter told me the same thing. I told her I love her no matter what and as long as she is happy and in a healthy relationship I dont care who it is. She is almost 15 and still feels the same way.
I find it funny when people are like “I knew he was gay as a child” but if a child says “I’m trans” you all loose your mind 🤦
She will need love a support. Just be patient, kind and understanding. Otherwise if you react poorly she wont come to you any more.
Love and support her.
If i was in your shoes. I would tell her how i believe(im against it) and i would read to her out of the bible and show her the reasons why i am against it. Then i would be supportive and tell her that you will love her no matter what and let her make her own decision. She needs to know that from the bible stand point that its wrong. And then let her make the choice if she wants to do the right thing or the wrong thing. Thats just my opinion and what i believe in. But now days 10 year olds are very smart and way ahead of their age. I hope everything works out for you.
It’s not a decision, it’s how she feels right now. She might always feel this way or she might not. But parents don’t get to decide the feelings of their children at 10 it doesn’t mean much, she’s not going to be engaging in anything sexual at that age anyway.
Just love her for her
Love her the same, let her be whatever she is. Dont tell her shes too young or what not, thats not really how all that stuff works.
How old were You when you realised you were straight? My uncle had his first crush on a boy at 6.
She is old enough to hace feelings. She is old enough to understand she has an attraction to the same sex. Love her. Support her. Be there fir her.
I knew I was interested in females in elementary school, but didn’t understand what was happening. By the time I got to middle school, I understood I was interested in females much like I was males. I’m married to a man, but still very much attracted to females. My husband and I check them out together. We don’t include them in our marriage, but we do enjoy looking at them together. Just give her the space she needs to figure things out and be there for her no matter you’re personal thoughts on the matter. My husbands family is against lgbt, but honestly if one of my kids came and told me that they were gay/bi, then it wouldn’t change a thing for me. I just hope that as they get older they know they can come to me with no judgments.
Sounds like like you handled it just fine, what advice do you need?
She is just trying find herself exploring herself let it be just love her and be there for her.
Be a parent and accept it
Tell her it’s alright and perfectly normal to have a crush on another kid. Be supportive and let her know her feelings are valid. End of story.
I went through this with my daughter in her late teens/ early adulthood. I know my daughter and knew she truly wasn’t but she was exploring her world. I just supported and loved her. She’s 27 now and has a daughter of her own and she came to realize that she is not in fact bi/lesbian. The world today is difficult enough to navigate. Just love her and support her and encourage her to always speak freely and openly with you.
It might just be a phase… And it might not. All that you can really do is accept and support your daughter for who she is.
My daughter was around 13 years old when she told me that she was gay. My first response was, “Well at least I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant.” lol. Now she’s 16 and bi and I love her for who she is. I also love that she knows that she can always come to me and tell me anything.
Shes old enough. Dont try to invalidate how she feels.
My 10 year old daughter also likes boys and girls. I never even batted an eye when she told me. She is 10… she is figuring out life and who she is, I give advice with her girlfriend just as I would as if it were a boy. Kids at school get talked about, bullied, judged, etc. Home should be a peaceful place for someone to be themselves and talk openly about who they are and how they feel… with ANY situation. Just my opinion. I’m not trying to raise 4 STRAIGHT kids, I am just trying to raise 4 happy, healthy, stable kids into adulthood. Who they choose to love is no one’s business and does not define them.
Both me and my childs father are bi so I’m expecting my kid to be bi like us. I didn’t really know what I was til about 22 or so bc of being so sheltered by family I’m so much happier now that I’m not trying to fit in a box of expectations
Just let her know you will be there and love her no matter what
Be there for her …support her and love her
My daughter told me the same thing at age 11. I remember having crushes that young. I didnt make a big deal about it, I just let her figure it out herself.
Just let her do her. Whether she changes her mind or not it doesn’t really matter. There really aren’t any valid reasons to be upset about it (for me anyway if it was my child). I want to raise my kids to just bring someone home because if you like or love them you just do. It’s not a big deal
If it was a boy she had a crush on would it be such a “big decision”? Just love her for who she is regardless of her feelings.
It could just be a girl crush. Or maybe she is bi. Let her be her.
I knew at that age but not all do. My nine year old tells me that she is but honestly after speaking to her fully I am not sure she actually is and I believe hers to just be a phase. As a parent though all you can do is love them. Don’t encourage nor discourage.
Don’t say anything to discourage her, you wouldn’t think twice if she said she liked boys. My mother told me when I was 13 that “I don’t want to hear that nasty stuff, you don’t like girls.” And ignored me, so when I got older I started dating guys but it always felt like something was missing. I don’t know it left a lot of unnecessary trauma and still does considering my family is super homophobic. Skate on thin ice with it, a girl can’t get her pregnant
Just be a mom this may change .give it time for her to grow .
So as a bisexual woman who had to have this talk with her dad, the hardest thing was hearing it’s just a phase you’ll grow out of it. Just let her know you support her no matter what sex she prefers. She’ll always be your daughter and who she may love some day will never change the love you have for her.
Support her and love her as is
I knew I was bisexual when I was 8 years old.
She absolutely knows.
Kids have crushes on each other starting very young. They are usually innocent and non-sexual in nature but still romantic nonetheless.
Personally, I disapprove of what you said to her. She was looking for validation and all you did was invalidate her but indirectly congratulate yourself for being someone she felt she could go to for said validation.
You might wanna fix that…
I came out to my mom when I was 15. She said the same thing and I struggled to go to her about anything else. You not only dismissed her feelings you told her she can’t make a decision on how she feels. When IS reasonable age to you to decide a preference?? I’m 24 and still sorting through the rejection and dismissal I felt 10 years ago.
Let her be what she wants to be, she’s still has a long time to grow up.
My husbands friend knew she was a lesbian since she was like 5. To this day she has never been with a man.
My teenage daughter knew at 10 she was a lesbian. As a mom I support her… I remember being young and definitely like boys… she didnt and that’s ok… I support her choice
let it be. If she is, she will figure it out in a few more yrs. You need to stand behind her no matter what
Just leave it be and be supportive I came out to my ma when I was like 12 and I’m still bi
If she said she had a crush on a boy would you have thought it was cute or normal? I’m guessing so. Why is this any different? Tell her it’s okay to care about or have a crush on a person whether a boy or girl. She is figuring out who she is. Don’t discourage her. She won’t want to come to you later on
Um how about you just treat her the same as always, in yr 8 my boyfriend at the time told me he was bi and I was like, cool want a bit of chocolate, he is gay now and I don’t see him any different, he was my first true love (and we didn’t do a thing) and always will be
I do believe my 11 year old is as well. It isn’t such a big decision. Its a feeling.
Support her feelings 🤷
My 11 year old told me this too, I already knew. But I asked her once before and she told me no then she one day told me and i said okay and to make sure she understood what bisexual was I asked her how she knew and she told me what she felt and I said “okay I already knew” she said how? I said because I’m your mother. It’s not a decision they make it’s a feeling. We as mothers have to make sure that we are open to talk to them about how they feel. It is no different than if she said she had a crush on a boy. With the way people judge others for being gay or bisexual we need to make sure we are their comfort. You might not like the idea of your daughter liking girls but there is nothing you can do to change her mind because like I said before it is a feeling. Just be grateful she was brave enough to tell you. Things like this destroy children’s self esteem. My sister nearly killed herself because she came out and my mom didn’t accept it and kicked her out she was 18.
Before people have a heart attack and get up in arms that she’s too young, she doesn’t know yet etc.
When did you all wake up one day and decide you’re straight? Or did you genuinely just know you were attracted to the opposite sex even throughout childhood (little crushes for those of the opposite sex). I am gay, and I didn’t like boys as a child. I didn’t have boy crushes. I found girls intriguing. Obviously I didn’t “understand” until I was that bit older. But I still knew.
In today’s society, with it being more socially acceptable, kids are able to understand and express how they feel, better than they did years ago.
We wouldn’t sit and question if she said she liked boys, had a crush on a boy or thought a boy was cute. But if it’s someone of the same sex, it’s “she’s too young”?
I friend of mine knew at 5 that he was gay. His mom said she knew when he was 2 because he threw a fit over how his bedroom was being decorated.
I was around 7 when I started liking girls. My advice is just to let it play out and be her.
My daughter is 12 and told me not to long ago that she is bi. I said congrats. Than we play i kissed a girl an like it. She did ask questions like have i ever Kissed a girl. An i told her yes. Just honest and love your child no matter what. I would be even happier if she told me she was Gay.
Let her be her self are she will hate you let her take her up and downs in life it will show her the best way to go.