that parent group (with Cath Hakanson) is a great resource on how to talk to little ones about this stuff
Little excessive to beat yourself up over your kid seeing something completely natural and normal. Donāt make a big deal out of it and answer any questions she has honestly (age appropriately also) and maybe explain knocking before entering your room too.
Gurlā¦ everyone of my kids have walked in on me. Leave it alone. She will come to you with questions. Just be honest. And donāt feel guilty. That will make her think itās something wrong. And donāt be mad at you or your husband. Itās love between you. And letās be honest here. It keeps you sane. Itās okay to show love. ( next time double check your locks lol)
Explain to her that if the door is closed that she needs to knock before entering.
You have already explained to her now Iād just leave it and not make a big deal over it
Sheās 7 sheās got better things to do sheās probably already forgotten about it .
You did the right thing followed her told her daddy wasnāt hurting you you explained situation Iād say leave it now as more info at this age is adult stuff not 7 year old stuff
Happens to most of us lol
I am so tired I thought this said my daughter walked in on HER husband and I doing the deed.
Time for a light version of the sex talk. Being too vague about it might make things worse if it looked like he was hurting you and you explained it as thatās what people in love do.
It depends what she saw to be honest.
If it was a kinky session and she saw more than naked bodies having sex
- yeah a little more in depth explaining may be needed.
If it was just naked bodies then a mother daughter chat about sex & relationships without massive details is the way to go.
It happens to almost Every parent at some stage, so donāt beat yourself up too much.
Donāt worry. Thatās so common. Just donāt stress over that
Let it goā¦part of growing upš¤£kids know more than we thinkā¦and donāt feel bad sure your not the first an wonāt be the last muma to have this happenā
Just be honest and leave it alone. Its no big deal
have youār husband talk to her as well itās part of life but just so she understands and is not scared of her father thinking he was hurting you
Calm downā¦ You handled it well. Just let it go n wait for questions. Remember, u r humanā¦
I walked in on my.parents as a child. They didnt really say anything, Iām not scarred for life and have forgotten until this post.
Oh honey weāve all been caught one way or another. My daughter is now 18 and still if she were to bring up when she heard her dad and I I get embarrassed. Personally I wouldnāt say to much. Maybe just talk about it if she wants to.
Happened to me when I was younger. I just never walked into my parents room univited again lol. I think she will be okay. Youāll just get a little more privacy.
Got to let it goā¦only address it now if she brings it up again. And double check the locks from now onš
My mother-in-law walked in on my husband and I while we were on our family vacation, thru a shared bathroom once, we DID LOCK THE DOOR AND TRIED TO LOCK THAT ONE TOOā¦thank God we happened to be under the covers, or she wouldāve been to red to go back out with the familyš¤£
Okay so first of all, you made it weird. You are even weirding me out leave that poor baby alone you dont need to say anything else other than please knock
Thereās no explanation needed unless she asking
Explain that youāre both consensual adults. This is a good time for the consent convo with your kiddos as well as body safety (weāre okay because weāre adults and love each other. But not ok for kids and stop means stop/no means no).
Do not feel bad. You guys still love each other and itās beautiful. I wouldnāt try to over explain it. It sounds like you did what you should have. I would say just be prepared for follow up questions she might have.
Dont make a big deal of it let it go.
Itās natural and believe me my kids have Walked in a few times too.
No one died, move on
Let it go. By trying to talk to her again and her dad talk to herā¦its just embarrassing for her. I know you feel bad but trust me sheās embarrassed as well. Just drop it unless she askes one of you about it. They know more than you think and they bounce back. If anything, it will give her cause to pause before walking in rooms that are not hers or public.
What you said was perfect. I havenāt had this happen yet, but Iād explain it the same way. Itās common and normal.
Your worrying way to much!! If she doesnāt re speak about it then donāt bring it up or make things awkward. She will notice change of environment and will think itās not normal, when it completely is. Just tell her to knock and wait in future.
Let it go if sheās that curious sheāll ask questions. Lol
I feel you handled it well. Iām sure alot of us would react in the same way. Maybe do a girls night. Paint each other nails and watch a movie. Sneak in a mom talk of āhoney you know you can come to me if you have any questions, and that she wonāt be judged for asking anything she may feel is sillyā leave it open donāt bring up the situation. Maybe she will talk or when sheās ready she knows she can come to you.
Unless she comes and has more questions I think you explained it the best you can while youāre embarrassed.
well now she will tell the school mommy and daddy have sex then the school calls dss and from there your fucked
Youāre good. Trust us all when we say youāre good. It happens. My kids walked in on us. Itās embarrassing but it happens. Youāre not a bad mother nor is he a bad father. if they ask questions explain to them that mommy and daddy love each other.
" go away dadās busy"
Let it goā¦our middle son now 27 walked in twiceā¦once we didnāt notice he was so quiet (like 5) until I happened to look at the end of the bed. He looked super confused. I just took him back to bed (bad dream). Next day I called my pediatricians office, she laughed, I was mortified, she laughed again and said donāt worry he wonāt need therapy. We never talked about it again until he was like 17 talking with his friends I heard him say "ewww man when I was alittle kid I walked in on my Mom and Dadā¦I asked Chad (older brother who was 8) what they were doing and he said eh, who knows their weird. LoLā¦he is fine BTWā¦no therapy LOL
Vaseline on the door knob works great lol
Be honest always the best bet
Whelp- looks like your gonna have to give her a brother or sister now!
āSpecial cuddles being what mummy and daddy had- is only done to bring about a new sibling. So wait 9 mths and we will give you a baby siblingā lol
Maybe just tell them to that they need to start knocking on the door if they need anything during the night
āDaddy was knocking mommyās boots, honeyā
Tell her to KNOCK BEFORE ENTER ING!!! ( say it STERNLY) then leave it alone!! If she has questions sheāll ask!!
Least sheāll know to knock in future lol. It happens to us all and many of us have walked in on our parents.
Sheāll get over it donāt worry x
My son caught us when he was 7, I told him when 2 people love each other they somtimes have naked cuddles, next thing I know heād told both his nanaās that heād seen us having naked cuddles, they obviously thought it was hilarious , heās 13 now and heās never let us forget it xx
When my daughter walked in on my then husband she asked what we were doing we were making love typical little kis said i want some lovin to we just laughed and nothing more was said until she asked when older
I think you should stop giving yourself a hard time over this. Itās life, sheāll grow up. You havenāt scarred her, it will blow over. Youāve explained. Leave it at that.
This is actually pretty common most kids catch there parents doing the deed my son unlocked my door with a butter knife
I remember walking in on my parents, definitely disturbing, but sheāll be alright. It happens to many parents
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter walked in on my husband and I doing the deed: What do I say to her? - Mamas Uncut
My daughter walked in on us and she asked why is daddy laying on top of youā¦ I told her that daddy was giving her mommy a great big hug. All she said was ok and walked outā¦
So see donāt beat yourself up we all have different answers for our childrenā¦
Make it scientific! This is a perfect time to teach about anatomy and consentš
My 3 year old walked on my husband and I. She thought daddy was hurting mommy. We told her daddy wasnāt, he was giving mommy a back massage. She was like okay and went back to bed. My 6 year old has walked in on us once but he never asked what we were doing. He looked and walked right back out. We thought they were napping or in bed for the night. Things happen. What you said was perfect. She might not even remember.
Your favourite holiday activity.
I think you made the right choice in being honest with her.
It happens. It doesnāt make you a horrible mom.
Point out that when a door is closed that she knocks first.
Donāt make it a big dealā¦ or sheāll get the wrong idea. You did good ā¦move on .
unless she ask you questions. Never lie!
Itās happened at least once to all parents! And sheās only 7 she wonāt even remember(I donāt think!lol) by the time she is older!! Donāt beat yourself up!
U said the rite thing, teach her when u see closed door to knock on it first
I am by no means a girl mom but if I was I wouldnāt think to much into it if she wasnāt. Like if she isnāt asking questions then I wouldnāt say anything about it. Although I think what you have said is good enough.
Really ??..ā¦ she will survive. General manners will remedy that. Knocking on closed doors will keep her from walking in on anyone anywhere at any home in future.
This happened to me also. Please donāt feel that way. Iām sure we arenāt the only ones lol
This has happened to a bunch of parents. Really teaches you to not only lock your door but put a bolt on it too!
Step 1 buy better lock
Step 2 be truthful
We thought we locked our door one day and our almost 7 yr old daughter opened the door. I was riding my husband, we threw the blanket over us and told her to go back to her room weād be out in a minute. She was only upset about it all cause she wanted to give her daddy a hug. She hasnāt said or asked anything about it.
I would teach her to knock on the door before coming into your room whether it was locked or not she should have knocked
What does this have to do with this page being my favorite holiday? No one cares about your personal life or what your daughter walked into. So ridiculous.
It happens !!! It sucks. But it happens! Give her space and time. She will be ok
I think most of us walked in on our parents at one time or another, probably several timesā¦ no scars, no real memory of it eitherā¦ If you make a big deal of it then you will (pardon the pun) embed it into her memoryā¦ Least said, soonest mendedš
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter walked in on my husband and I doing the deed: What do I say to her? - Mamas Uncut
I would ask her if she had any questions, youāve done everything else you could do.
I think you did amazing!
Our 7 year old asked us why we were dancing nakedā¦ that was hard to explain.
Kids will be kids ā¦ Iām sure you remember running in on your parents at some point.
One of those unfortunate hiccups of growing up / parenting.
Dont worry your a great mama. Sooner or later she was going to find.out its life. She just found out life sooner. Its ok life happens
You told her, so just move on and donāt remind her of it anymore.
Well considering the fact that sheās 7 and thereās a good many 8 yr olds that get periods esp if sheās advanced for her age and smart like my girls are,hell Iād give her the sex talk.I donāt really see why you shouldnāt.Iām trying to explain it to mine and they are 5 and 7 but Iām moving soon so Iām waiting until then when we all 4 arenāt in the same room in his parents living room anymore to explain it to them so itās not so awkward if they do happen to ever walk in on us.which they havenāt yet luckily.Iād explain the basics,not like picture for picture so to say,but def the big picture atleast.we donāt do anything in front of them or when their awake,but itās def something the sooner they know about the better.
Tell her to knock before she opens the door next time. Also put a big sign on your door at night.
It happens, you let her know that thatās what adults do when they love each other and he wasnāt hurting you, the best thing to do now is just move on
Ask her if she has questions, then leave it be you explained it. Sheās not traumatized, she will be fine
You in my opinion explained it well. I would not bring it up any further and remind hubby to lock door and do the safety pull to make sure it latches
You are absolutely not the worst mom ever and trust me it happens to people all of the. My now adult daughter walked in our her dad and I when she was 9. My youngest picked our bedroom lock and caught us going at it. Then a year or so later my middle son walked into the our bathroom and then walked right back out when he figured out what was was going on.
Deff teach to knock before entering.
You said what most mind would say to a 7 year old great leave it at that if she has further ? Answer them she appropriate.lik you just did .
This woman is great at explaining stuff like this!!! Donāt be ashamed or embarrassed!!! Sex is 100% normal and okay and natural and great and kids should know about it (explained at their levels of understanding) but it isnāt taboo or something that should be taught is naughty or to be ashamed of.
Some 7 year olds already know from movies and friends at school (unfortunately) but seeing it in person feels so different. I walked in on my sister and her ex boyfriend when I was a kid and I still randomly get the image in my head and makes my anxiety act up even though Iām an adult and obviously know what it is. Best thing to do is apologize and answer any curios questions she might have.
IMO just donāt make it a big thing. When two adults love each other they have sex, but itās supposed to be private just between them so weāre sorry we forgot to lock the door. Might be a good time to also discuss the importance of respecting privacy and knocking on closed doors before entering. Then just move on like itās nothing unless she has questions. Itās only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Sex is normal and healthy for adults, no need to make your child believe otherwise.
Donāt act like you did something wrong Anddont makeher feel she did something wrong tell her thatās yours and daddyās private time and if the door is closed do not come in.tell her thatās the way married mommy and daddyās show love to each other
Lock your blo*dy door in future!
Donāt be so hard on yourself. Itās happened to the best of us. If she has any questions, just answer them as simply as possible and donāt make a fuss. All these people judging you saying āteach her to knockā or "you should of made sure the door was locked " well, we arenāt perfect! Sheāll be fine. Continue showing love and affection to your husband ānot in the bedroom though ā so she sees everything is okay between you guys.
My kids have caught me and my husband many times lol they are 9 and 7 we ended up having to have the talk. It will be ok mamaā¤
Teach her to always knock first!!!
Locks and knocks. They are key. Itās a rule in our house. I also tell them that we like to spend time alone, but weāve never had a problem with this, yet. I think it happens a lot though.
it is no biggie at all. She may not be upset because of what she saw per we.
It could be she is confused why you have your own separate time that doesnāt include her? Who knows. Just keep the dialogue going with your daughter.
tell her she is always welcome to come into your bedroom, but if the door is shut she has to knock first & wait for you or her dad to say come in, And tell her you will also do the same for her when her door is closed. Now if she does say what were you two doing, & only if she asks, say you were loving each other & that is what grown ups do when they are married. Now if she wants more details, then go further. But as a adult, she should have always been prepared for this.
Why do you need to explain? Itās not going to scar her for life. Iām 100% certain every child has seen things they shouldnāt have. What she will learn is, not to walk in on you. Knock and wait, itās not exactly a bad way to learn as sheāll never do it again.
Oh Girl! Donāt hate yourself or your husband.
She wonāt be the first or the last to have her little eyes scarred
hang in there.
It seems to me you are a great mother for caring this muchā:heart:
Maybe now it a good time to talk about the importance of knocking. Donāt beat yourself up. Things happen. Sheās not going to be traumatized
All 5 of my siblings and I have walked in on my parents. I donāt think they even knew as we would quickly retreat. It happens and itās part of life. While weāve all been embarrassed, it didnāt traumatized any of us
Well I see we have at least 30 helpful comments so here comes mineā¦ When I was 6 I walked upstairs and saw my parents doing something I was trying to look but after a while my instinct was like ew I shouldnāt look I didnt see nothing just stuff going on under a blanket. Im fine. They didnāt say nothing to me. My question as a mom for you is what kinda wild sex were you having she got upset Well youāre supposed to be asleep sweetheart stay in bed and you wonāt see mommy getting it like she likes Next time yell for me like you always do I think explaining it more is worse. Tell her she canāt come in the room she has to knock. Unless you never want to have sex again.
Apparently I did this to my parents but they were under a blanket and I jumped on my dads back lmao I donāt remember it at all. You did the right thing. I would have a follow up conversation later if sheās still acting weird in a few days
Thereās a 100% chance youāre making this a bigger deal then she is. She may have already brushed it off. Iād act like nothing even happened unless she starts questioning you.
Just be honest like you did. Tell her when your door is closed it is your private time. I walked in on my parents. I felt weird for a bit, more like embarrassed but got over it. Donāt stress or you will make it seem like you did something wrong when you did not
For her to be upset i feel like she knows something and anything she thinks she knows should come from you and not tv or other means. Try to be intimate when your kids are asleep. Donāt be intimate unless you know for sure your door is locked and teach your kids to knock first. š¤· as fae as the talkā¦ Heck idc lol
ā¦ so many inappropriate but funny (to me) responsesā¦
My step dad TO THIS VERY DAY calls me the king of cockblock.
I mean real note: at least its a husband, hopefully the marriage is a lasting and loving one, like at least a kid didnāt walk in to a swingers event or saw mommy with 3 different people! Just explain it without the genitalia, only feelings and the purpose! Thatās how I really approached this the one time it happened to me.
It happens. I walked in on my parents like 4 times,
Iām not scarred and donāt even remember what I saw. Sheāll be fine
Itās just sex. Why be upset or embarrassed? Explain that itās sex, thatās how she was created, that is a naturaly thing that humans do together and by themselves.
The more embarrassed everyone is, the less likely it will be brought up if something happens. The stigma that āonly people who live each otherā do that creates a fear in trauma situations where the child canāt tell bc theyāve done something dirty/wrong.
Thatās how she became to exist?