I would allow her to dress however she wants. 13 is a little young to be making decisions that will last a lifetime! I wouldn’t think about drugs and a total transition for a few years. I would be supportive with her choices,just not fully until she was older.8f
Just love your child and support their decisions. Find the appropriate Drs, therapists, chat groups…you both need a safe environment to discuss your feelings.
Honestly some honest advice shes 13 kids are cruel its a tough journey theres alot of hate bullying. Tell her the positives and the negatives prepare for the road awaits. She’s young maybe after a long talk about what she wants. Maybe it’s because she could feel better as a boy. Or maybe she’s gay or lesbian. Or maybe shes a stud. But i will say this dont do allow her to transition permanently so young. Let her dress whatshe wants to dress in. But i am not transphobic or hater or anything but there are sooo many complications towards young transition permanently being that young. Cancer, it can lead to heart attacks blod clots. She could end up destroying her bone marrow or worse her body could become confused end up attacking itself she’s just started puberty. Nobody talks enough about the actual risks or the depression or the pain the lack of energy when transitioning young so support her but prepare her
God put here as a girl and that’s what she needs to stay
Tell her to ask God to do the transition
Honestly being that she’s just coming into puberty. I wouldn’t let her make that kinda life altering decision. She probably just going through a phase and i wouldn’t even entertain the thought
I think you’re far better off getting advice from a professional than strangers with no credentials on the Internet. How ever while you wait you may find someone who’s been through it with their own child but is now a lot older and can give you their experience and whether they knew it was a phase or certainly something they knew they wanted to be for certain and nothing changed that.
You should probably talk to a professional about how to support your child through this but also about the best way to give your child all the information and support that they will need to be able to feel safe, loved and make an informed decision.
My best friend is transitioning. Didnt come out for years but is now very happy. From female to male. I would definately speak to a professional first though as they can be all over the place with hormones x
I would say, if she feels that way, tell her you believe her, help her decide what to do. The most important thing you can do is listen and provide support. My sibling went through a lot of their teens thinking like this. They have now figured out they lie somewhere between the two genders and have high male hormones for a AFAB.
Please, believe her, listen to her, get her help to deal with her feelings, it’s very important that if she feels she’s different you listen to her, help her figure her way through this x
I would honestly get ger some counselling, and then if that is really what she wants when she has completed that then get her through it with doctors appointments etc
Such a big decision for a 12 year old to make, if she’s never expressed this before maybe it’s a phase, is something influencing her? For example social media, friends, magazines. Quite possibly she could be figuring out that she’s gay? Is she confused? You need to factor all of this in a d get to the reason why this is how she feels
I wouldn’t allow any changes until she is a adult and actually decided as a adult she wants this its life changing and I don’t believe a child would be mentally able to cope with it all
Hope that helps x
Support her feeling and go from there, if she is really considering it, ask her what pronouns she wants to be called and a new name to trial out. Little steps to make her feel comfortable and supported x look into some counselling sessions and specifically a place that deals with transitioning. If she isn’t able to express everything to you, have a day of brainstorming and writing lists of how’s she feeling etc. It might be easier to write it down then say it!
It could be a phase or it could be she never really understood these feelings until now, it may be that it’s something else and that was the easiest way to describe it (being gay/ bisexual/ not comfortable in herself) x
Supporting your child is the only way. I think no matter how open minded your are and accepting these things always come as a shock so just take time to think it all over yourself and look into some counselling for parents of kids who are transitioning too xx
I would definitely take it seriously and say you understand and you’ll help her with figuring it out and set a plan for you both to talk to professionals starting with the GP. Take it slow, as like someone else said, it may be also because she’s gay, and a confused about it and feels like she likes girls so wants to be a male if you see what I mean.
Have a nice chilled sit down and talk about what’s made her feel like they want to change and really listen and take it all seriously. Dont tell her it’s just a phase and she’s too young to know etc.
It may just be a phase etc but how you deal with this will show her how much support and acceptance she has.
A friend of mines sister wanted to transition and went through a lot, at a young age with the injections etc and then similar to someone else’s comment, worked out she was somewhere between and stopped the treatments but she was comfortable to do so because she had full family support to figure it out herself.
She needs to be able to talk to you rather than rusk her turning it inwards into low mood etc
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter wants to transition from female to male: Advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter wants to transition from female to male: Advice?
I would sit and talk with my child. I would pick their brain to see where these feelings are coming from. At the end of the day, I would support my child to be happy and healthy- mentally and physically
This could very well be just a faze when my now 15 year old daughter came to me with the same thing at age 13 I just accepted it and supported as much as I could it never changed our relationship at all but the faze only lasted about 6 months and at that point she just realized she really didn’t want to be a boy but more just a Tom boy she didn’t and still doesn’t always want all the girly things and that is perfectly fine. I will always support
My children with how they feel it’s a very confusing world right now for young adults with really learning all about the gender transformations and all of that good stuff back when I was in school that stuff was not talked about but now it’s talked about daily in schools and way more open every where about it. My daughter even had a gf in that 6 months and I supported it 100% but again it was just a faze for us but if it wasn’t then that’s fine I would still be supporting her how ever I can either she is a he or a she. It doesn’t change my unconditional love for my kiddos. I also have a transgender uncle which makes it easier to handle as any questions I had I could ask my uncle.
I would let her express herself as she chooses as far as the way she dresses and presents herself. As far as anything permanent such as hormones or surgery, I would personally wait until 18. Just like anything else done to your body that’s permanent such as a tattoo or a piercing, you know a little bit better what you want for the rest of your life by 18. Be supportive and loving. That’s what she needs the most right now.
All my daughters are unique. All 3 are different orientations. All u can do mama is support, luv, show them no matter their life journey u as their mama will always have their backs. With that said my youngest is just turning 13. I have her with a therapist. Not just to help her but help me because u do grieve a little when ur child(ren) are unique. Then again my youngest has been unique since she could dress herself. . My best advice give lots of hugs, lots of luv, and upmost support no matter their choice. My youngest has expressed name change. Her father and I agree we will let her decide at 18. Right now, I too was to immature at her age to know my life’s consequences .
My daughter did this about that age, and she’s almost 16 now and has changed her mind again. She was insecure about the attention she had started to receive from the boys at school due to her developing body. I supported her but told her it was a permanent decision and that she needed a long time to think about, and to wait until she was older. (The therapist didn’t do any good at all, it made the situation way worse, but that will depend entirely on the therapist you get, which it’s so hard to know what your gonna get if you go that route) and as one person mentioned, it is “presented” to the kids WAY too much, all of her friends changed pronouns all the time, it is ALL over social media, we had to limit her usage because kids frankly don’t need to and cant process that mass amount of info, heck look at all the adults losing their minds over what someone said to them online.
My sister was 14 and went to my mum claiming to be trans. My mum didn’t allow her to go through with any hormones or anything until all was confirmed with the phycologist she was seeing for it (which it never was, cuz, you’ll know in a minute). She’s now almost 18 and told mum she is in fact just confused, and left it up to others what pronouns they use as long as they are respectful. I think the best thing to do is be there and be supportive. For her/him to be able to come to you at such a young age with something so big, is a huuuuge sign that you are a wonderful mother. Just keep doing what you’re doing.
Imma love and support my child and want nothing but their absolute happiness. As long as their good people and aren’t harming anyone than I’m always going to support my child.
I have to say kids today want to experiment and see where they really fit in… in the parent part I feel they can do that outside of school or after 18… its our job to guide them and keep them safe free from bullies and doing their best. Refocus stay open yet at that age schooling, social lives, and wanting to drive in a few years should be their concern not if they were born in the wrong body… just my opinion as I have a daughter that dated a woman that did the change and I lived it first hand… its not easy but my love for my kids are unconditional and I have to accept their choices when they are an adult… not as a child… again… only my opinion
Support him. Be there. Going to be hard for both of you. However give him time to slowly adjust to change. As far as the hormones and stuff go find a good Dr that you both can go and sit with to know what you will both be up against. Remember you can always listen to ones advice but you don’t have to take it. Let him go where he is comfortable and just be there for him no matter what.
Love, support & open communication, imagine how scary this is to open up about, he needs your love & acceptance more than ever, this will be a journey for both of you, you got this!
This could be a faze or something she has been wanting for a while and was scared to admit or show anything. Ask your child their pronouns tagt they want to use he she they. And try your best. Everyone is different. Communication is key!
She’s 13. Frontal lobes are not fully developed until 25. Get her in therapy. After 25, if she still wants to transition, you 100000000% support him/her and love him/ her just like the day they were born. That’s what mom’s do. We allow our kids to grow up, but just like with alcohol and all, there is an age limit.
It’s the media and outside influencing her. Nothing has given you the impression she might of been dealing with these thoughts or feelings until now…… I could be wrong but that would be my assumption.
It’s a good thing “Free Mom Hugs” are available at pride parades because I can see the lack of acknowledgement and hate in these comments. Be disgusted with yourselves, not your children who found the courage to come out for who they truly are.
Support how she wants to dress I wouldn’t do anything permanent as this could just be a faze. At the age I thought I wanted to be a boy only because I thought boys were cool lol but I was just a HUGE Tom boy. After high school I completely switched things up and became super girly Soooo I’d tell her to wait on doing anything permanent.
I’m disgusted at the amount of parents in this group who would not love and support their children for who they are. Educate yourselfs, it could save your child’s life
I’d go to the end of the earth for my kids. I made awful decisions at 13. I wish I could change them now. I didn’t fully understand the impact they’d have on my adult life.
I am not saying your child is making a mistake but I think at such a young age they haven’t lived much to know and understand the impact they are making on the REST OF THEIR LIFE. I’ve read so many stories of people who followed through with the changes and regret it later in life. A physch is an option. Definitely meeting with a GREAT therapist is also a good idea. They have therapist that specialize in this field now. Least we do locally.
Best wishes to you and your child.
Seek an appropriate therapist. One that can help figure out if it’s what she actually wants, and one that can explain more about the process and help you start it if needed.
Take her to counselling. They can help her work out what she wants and then with the transition phase if that’s still her goal. Teens is such a confusing time for everyone. Support her with certified professionals, not just people opinions and stand beside her through every part of this.
My teenager is 14 almost 15. At 10 she wanted to transition. I told her we could wear boy clothing, use he/him, and be called a boys name.
No medicine. No legal name changes.
She went through they/them. He/him.
Now she doesn’t care what she’s called. But online, she goes by he/him. Which is great- no one can identify her.
I taught my kid to not be offended by what others think. I taught her that I’m here for her figuring out who she is- and who she wants to be.
At 18, if she wants to fully transition, is willing to pay for her treatments and whatever… I’ll be behind her/them.
Be supportive mama bear. Teach acceptance, and give her grace to figure out who she is… all the while talking her through it .
Be supportive but don’t start hormonal replacement until older. This could be a phase in a young child’s life and you wouldn’t want to do anything drastic that they might regret in a few years.
If she wants to cut her hair and wear boy clothes so be it but I wouldn’t go farther than that until the child is old enough to truly understand
My cousin is FTM. Best decision ever made, and a lot of positive support. Support her as she comes to her decision but also contact a familial therapist in your area that specializes in dysphoria, for extra support and mourning. You have to understand that many parents and sibling will go through a grieving period, so this will be a major help. Also aamft.org may help. I think it is so important for this, because my cousin’s father was angry for a long time, but this last year has really came around after attending therapy sessions to get a better understanding of it.
The first step is recognizing and respecting his pronouns. It could literally save his life.
I’d let my child be whomever they want. I wouldn’t let them put any hormones into their body until they’re at least 16-18 just because personally I feel that’s wayyy too young to be going thru all that. But I would let them dress how they want/ be gendered however they want
I wanted to be a boy when I was 12. Thank fk I was born back then and my mum and dad treated it as a faze. Let her grow up and become a adult before “you” make those moves. Just let her be be whatever she wants right now without the stress of adult decisions. She’ll choose for herself one day when she is ready
I recommend seeking a therapist that specializes in gender identity and gender affirming.
Also start by changing pronouns to he him and using the new chosen name if there is one. Show support.
Find yourself support as well. You are going to need someone to talk to about your feelings and thoughts so you can be there to support him. My daughter has talked about transitioning since she was 13 she is now 18 and starting testosterone treatment. The emotional rollercoaster for both you as a mom and him is real. Prayers with you and him.
They can feel how they wanna feel and I always respect feelings but at that age you are still to young to make such big life changing decisions. I’d tell them to hold off just a bit longer to make sure that what they want before we go through with it.
She’s 12…even adults believe lies about themselves. Prayers
I would advise to speak with a someone that specializes in transition to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare him for this and stay resilient, oh and remember you owe no one an explanation!
At 13 you are not mature enough to make such a perminate life changing decision. Love her support her help her research and possibly See If you can find people she can speak with you have gone through the process one that loves it and one who may have regrets. I would definitely let her know how much you love her no matter her choice in the end but would personally not allow the final decision to be made until she is a legal adult
PLEASE STOP CALLING IT A PHASE! they are figuring out who they are. It’s harder for those who feel like they were born in the wrong body or feel different and calling it a phase is not helping them or anyone else
Acceptance is key. Most people when they are pregnant talk about “we don’t care as long as it’s healthy.” Keep that mindset. Also get him into therapy so he can get a professional (someone who has experience working with the lgbtq community ideally) to help your kid.
That is when my daughter started her journey…Be there suppourt your child. There are so many ppl in the world with cruel words be your childs rock…No matter what they wanna be same way if they was 13 and wanting to be a doctor…My child was very scared at first and it took her father longer to accept but its definitely brought all of us closer. The experience has definitely open our eyes to alot of stuff going on in the world.
I’d just let my child be whoever they want to be love them regardless and support them in whatever decision they choose
Im not gonna say some dont fully intend on doing it however my son had a friend wanting to do the same he stood up for her stood by her side . her mom did everything she needed to do it. And at the end she changed her mind and my son was left standing alone with no friends at all. And he was the kid everyone loved. Honestly I believe they need to talk it out maybe with a counselor over time and if they still want to at an older age then yes.
Mine is going through this same thing we are getting her a counselor at her own request and we accept em for who they maybe from what I understand from the younger gen it maybe called gender morphia I believe is what it’s called but just love em unconditional and stand be side em through it all
I would try to be as understanding as i could be as to not make the child feel guilty etc but talk them through it and say its most advised that you wait till your body is not going through its own raging hormones and to wait till maybe 18 and then that way they are also of legal age to make their own decisions and their bodies have finished going through puberty but until then they can dress how they want and maybe even help them look up some bands to wear to flatten their chest etc or get them excited etc get on their level
My daughter is 13 as well and came to us asking if we would refer to her as a him from now on and gave us a male name she wanted to be called…I’m a very opened minded person usually but my answer was NO. I explained to her that she was made perfect just the way she is and that I am fully open to her exploring her sexuality if she wants but that will not change the fact that she is a women born with women parts and that will not change. She is more than welcome to express her self through cloths, music,ect. I will love anyone she chooses to love but that’s were I draw the line. We may not get to chose our own sex but we can choose who we love.
Help them slowly transition, but I don’t recommend any surgeries until they are older, that way they’ve had years to fully think about everything. For now I’d probably help them with the appearance part, and let them see how they feel about it. Just hell them out, let them know that you support them, and just be there for them.
Honestly, i think u should stand by ur child and let em experience life for themselves period.we dont learn from being told things, we learn only from experience and making wrong choices. at the end of everything its up to us as a parent to be there to catch our babies when they fall, but untill they have fallen let them make there decisions, and let them learn things on there own just knowing u have some kind of support through right or wrong is more then enough
I felt the same way at 12 years old but I realized it wasn’t that. I just wanted to feel more masculine than feminine.
You have hours of counselling before any dr will do this transition. She could just be a Tom boy stage. I would ask to wait her until she’s 16 or older. Key thing is support her through it
We always knew from age 2 that our grandson was more feminine. When she came out at 16, we were not surprised. Support her decision on lifestyle. She is having a hard time about employment because of it. At 18 she legally had her name changed. Kept first name changed middle and took grandparents sir name.
I was a huge tomboy always thought I should have a penis cuz I didn’t relate with any of my girlfriends but in the end of my parents had given me hormones I wouldn’t have my kids and I wouldn’t be the woman I am today I still do a lot of male things still very strong but kids are always confused about who they are and who they want to be and all those hormones don’t help so I don’t let them make that choice I have four kids by the way until they’re older they’ve told me they’re by their gay they’re straight I have a lot of friends with different pronouns I have a lot of transgender friend some gay friends but I don’t make permanent choices until their permanent people and they can accept what they’ve done to themselves I’m their mom and I will love them whenever forever but I will not make it permanent change in their life until they can accept the responsibility for that change
My pediatrician has a trans daughter. It was a challenge even for her as a progressive pediatrician in Los Angeles, CA. She wrote the book that she needed during that time, as she says all the literature she found didn’t fit her process of going through this as a mother - Found in Transition by Paria Hassouri. Dr. Hassouri is on IG and has written articles that you can find on her web page.
I would allow my kid to be who they are and support them the best I could. Life is already hard and short enough
She’s still a child. Let her grow up a little more and than she can decide. I don’t think it’s a good idea to let a 13 years old child to make this big decision because I know some children that changed the gender and after some years they regretted it. Give her and yourself some time. She’s in puberty how can she know what she wants from her life. This is my opinion anyway I wish you and your daughter all the best.
It could be just a phase she’s going through,be gentle and let her talk through her feelings. As others have said, give her a time frame when it’s acceptable to change to male.if she still feels like it at that point then offer support
This article helped show us we were on the right path of how to discuss and validate my daughter rather than calling her feelings “a phase”. She is almost 13 and shared with us that she feels she likes boys and girls. Our message was that we support her and whomever she brings home to meet us is great in our book if they are kind and respectful of her.
My 10 year old son has most often identified with his masculine. My 6 year old son sometimes tells me he is a boy, other times he says he’s a girl. Since a young child he’s been drawn to pretty, feminine things. I’ve supported both of them in however they view themselves. Our family recognizes that some lives we’re women, some lives we’re men. It’s so common to identify with both your masculine and feminine aspects. I feel it’s helped my sons accept not just who they are today but who they’ve been in the past.
As a nurse, I would feel more comfortable waiting until their prefrontal cortex is fully developed prior to following through with hormonal therapy, if they chose to do so. I would want to know the long term health effects of gender transition prior to embarking on it. My sons have always been supported and never shamed when they explore or embrace their feminine sides; I feel demonstrating that kind of unconditional acceptance gives them a deep peace and security within. You are in my heart and prayers, you’re not alone. If God made us all… gay, straight, bisexual, binary, non-binary, trans, masculine, feminine… who are we to judge or discriminate against each other? Your child is beautiful, cherished and precious as Soul, no matter what gender or sexuality they identify with.
I’m not a mom yet, however I’ve thought of this scenario plenty of times. I’d personally be a little sad because I imagine giving them all these nicknames and dressing them up, but at the same, I’d be supportive.
I wouldn’t mind having a transgender, or a child who wasn’t heterosexual. However, since she is young, her mind will constantly change. That’s just how teens are, so make sure she goes to counselor about this. Some do change their minds and decide to revert back.
I would say seek therapy they help draw out if she’s mentally ready and understands the depths of what she wants. I wouldn’t let her do hormones until 16 plus if it’s still concluded that this is what she does. I would say don’t worry about the age of when she tells you because we all tell people what we want on our own accord … I think we can all speak from that place .
I also want to say he’s 24 now we went through this without struggle but we’ve made it Love love explains it all it breaks everything down with one word love
We have had this conversation in our home in the last year. We went shopping for clothes they felt comfortable/confident in, we talked about a hair cut if they wanted to. They asked to use a different name as well, we fully supported all their choices. We did have the conversation about hormones and those things are not happening until they r 18, because they were somewhat unsure if that’s how far they wanted to go.
Fast forward to now and they have decided to stay a girl and dress masculine and have come out as lesbian.
All I wanted was for all of my children to feel safe to express themselves in their own way in our home or with our family and to know that we will always support their choices.
I have a child that came to me when he was very young to tell me he was gay he was around 13 too All I can say is support your child love them support them through everything they will come out the end such a wonderful person whoever they may be love love love
Not advice but if you watched good girls then you seen a girl transition to a boy and I just loved how his mom loved and supported him the whole way!!
Love her all the way. Meanwhile take her to a professional that can help make sure she is trying to apply the correct solution for her feelings and thoughts.
Support! support! support!
Have a chat and say you’d like them to live as their chosen sex for at least 6month to a year to make sure it ms 100% what they want to do and speak to professional doctors etc there loads of support groups on here where you can also get help
I would let my child be whomever they wanted to be…just be supportive that’s what your child needs is to know you have her back with whatever decision is made…but before something like hormones or surgery is done anything permanent definitely seek counseling because this is a big life altering decision and you both need as much information as possible…hugs to you and your child with whatever decision is made❤
Let your child figure themselves out. It’s a process. I would talk with them, about any feelings they may have, and make it known you accept them.
She is way too young to be making any changes like that. If she is still feeling that way when she is 18 or older then I would support her.
It seems some on here think, that not allowing your child to do whatever they want to do, means you don’t love or support them. As parents it’s our job to protect our children and guide them. And sometimes that means not letting a child do whatever they want to do. 12/13 is extremely too young to understand the significance of changing your gender. That doesn’t mean the mother doesn’t love the child.
I don’t ever think it’s a phase. Ask questions, listen, understand each other the best you can.
Be 100% supportive, respect what they are saying and allow them to express themselves in hair/clothes/preferred pronoun and name BUT nothing permanent until they are old enough to pay and understand the gravity of permanently making the full transition from she to he. It is the most confusing time in a kids life especially with the media input. All you can do is love them and offer non judgmental support
It will be hard for mama, it will feel like she’s lost her daughter. If she’s nearly 13 then her hormones will be all over the place, take her to the Dr’s and see about hormone replacement
First of all, support your child. Please. Do not shame them, or make them feel like they are crazy, wrong, or embarrassed. Whatever your child is going through, whether they are actually trans or not, they trusted you and came to you. Please respect his wishes with appropriate pronouns that he chooses, dressing a certain way, etc etc. To the people shaming the therapy recommendations… it’s not therapy to change their mind. Look for a therapist that specializes in transgender/gender dysphoria/gender affirmation/etc. Before anyone can even go through with surgeries, they have to go through the steps first, which includes therapy. A therapist can pinpoint exactly what is going on, if the child is actually dealing with gender dysphoria, or if it’s ‘just a faze’. I’ve seen this happen both ways with children and adults I’m close to. I’ve had children close to me come out as bi and gay, at around this age. I know a few that said they thought they were trans… one of which is currently in transition after finding a therapist and a doctor, the other changed their mind later on.
You know your child best. As a parent, I believe that we are here to support them in whatever makes them happy, regardless of our personal bias. Start slow… pronouns, appearance, etc. Then let him figure out how HE feels. He may just be confused, teenage years are a bitch. But, I’d rather my child go through that, and be happy, than feel like they’re stuck in the wrong body, miserable, and potentially harm themselves.
Accept her and love her but I wouldn’t agree to any major changes right now if my kid asked. That’s an adult decision they need to make for themselves when they’re much older. I live with daily synthroid hormone replacement because of thyroid cancer and it’s good enough to keep me alive but it’s not always a fun ride keeping my hormones levels balanced. I wouldn’t recommend that anyone take replacement hormones for any reason unless it’s absolutely necessary. Why? Because living this way sucks.
I’d love and support my daughter in whatever she chooses. I would get her help with whatever she needs
Take her to counseling to make sure this is what she wants. As a parent I’m not sure I would allow my growing child to take hormones at that age (fully grown yes if she still wanted too). If it were one of my kids I’d never tell any they were wrong in any way for feeling that way and try and get them to someone who can help sort it out.
Dont let him transition right away. But call him him and let him style himself the way he wants if later in teen they decide to transition for sure then allow them
Ok fine. Dress how you want. I’ll call you whatever name. But I’m not doing anything to physically alter their body at this age.
I would respect her decision and ask her questions about it so you are more comfortable and know more. And then maybe you guys can figure out a game plan to help her transition
Start with new clothes/shoes, then new make over for the bedroom, then you can start talking to the dr for some options with medication for help her become a man
I hope everything works out
I’d love my kid and if they wanted to dress a certain way and cut hair and all that im down. I wouldn’t do anything as far as hormones or surgeries. That is for them to do when they are old enough and experienced enough to make a decision for themselves.
I’d suggest stop watching the media and YouTube, Tiktok. That’s why all of our children are so confused. I’d love my kids any way but it’s too much for little minds. Your brain doesn’t even develop completely until you’re 25.
I would fully support her decision. But also make sure that it’s 100% what she wants to do. I only say this because sometimes we change our minds about wanting something especially something as big as a transition. Just because it’s a big decision at that age.
If she still wants to do it in a few years, I hope she gets all the love and support she needs
I have been thinking about this, I’m 34 weeks pregnant so I have a few years more of learning to do, but at the moment I’ve settled on, if My daughter wants to be My son, I will support them, I will, the day they tell me, start using their preferred pronouns, if they want new clothes we will go shopping, i will support them and stand up for them and make sure everyone who knew them prior now knows their proper names and pronouns and properly sticks to using them. However, I personally do not believe in any doing medical treatment that isnt life-saving. I am of the earth, so if they want to start getting medical treatments, I will ask that they wait until they are 18, or at 16 if they really want it and get a job to pay for it (I’ll of course help if I see effort and savings being put into it)
I would ask questions but ensuring they are supportive questions & not judging. Ask him what he wants it to look like. Who is he ready to tell? How does he want to start? Ask him when he started to feel this way & why. Explore if he wants to go to therapy, but don’t make it like he’s broken & they’re going to somehow fix them. Don’t treat it as “just a phase” but he may decide maybe he was trying to see if it’s more comfortable. There’s some really good YouTube videos you can watch to help you begin to understand more.
Many kids they are going thru changes. Take her to a therapist. Loads of kids later regret to do this. And get suicedal. If it would be I wouldn’t let her to do until she is 18 at least. Kids can change their mind 100 times.
Take her to a counselor who specializes or has knowledge of teens who want to transition. Then go from there but no matter what be supportive and listen to understand don’t just listen to respond.
I’m sure I’ll get hate for this, but bring it for all I care, because every single one of you know damn well children go through phases. Am I saying THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION is a phase? Not at all, but considering the amount of phases they go through, only to change their mind again and again, you literally can’t be certain that they know for sure that’s what they want at such a young age.
You can obviously support them and their choice to live as the gender they say they are, but to actually go through with any real body changes at that age, is wreckless in my opinion and I wouldn’t dare let my child start any form of permanent change, until I’m fully 100 percent confident they know every bit of what they’re doing and with the mindset they have at that age, there’s no way I believe they know. You can see that as not supporting your child and being a shitty parent, but I see that as doing what’s best for my child.
I wouldn’t be against it, but I feel counseling is a good start for transitioning. 13 is young and impressionable. If they want to go through the process I would want to make sure they aren’t just going through a phase, and have someone there for all the factors that may come from transitioning mentally and emotionally. This is a huge undertaking in all ways. That age is rough already mentally/emotionally to add something like this on to it. Plus, they may need it as they come out to more people to help deal with what may come from that.
I would also reach out to those who have transitioned for myself and my child. Know the process and what comes with it. I would want to have my child know this. Know what could occur and come from transitioning (physically, mentally, emotionally) Also, people to reach out to during the process, if and when they continue. I don’t know how I feel about anything hormonal until they’re closer to 18 though just for health reasons.
I wouldn’t go ahead and let her transition if it’s completely new to you may not be to her but may also be a faze. She needs to speak to a professional to know exactly what’s going on first then take it from there.
Don’t let your child make permanent decisions at such a young age. Hormones are wild and the push from society from all of this is huge.
She’s a child- let her be a child & keep lines of communication open.
No matter what thats still your child stand by him and support him. Before a dr approves his transition he will have to go through counseling and im sure that will help him decide for sure if this is something he wants.
If she is 13 nope once she is 18 and or your not supporting her anymore then yes cause I’m very glad my mom never let me do stupid shit at that age