My daughter wants to transition from female to male: Advice?

I’d love my child as a male or a female. But this whole ‘they’ thing is ridiculous. Pick one and commit

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I would take her on a shopping trip as well as discussing how she would liked to be referred to as far as pronouns go, because who knows, it could just be a phase, even just a cry out for help because she needs more attention (not saying this is the case by any means but it could be an option), or this could very well be how she feels and knows what she wants. I feel like discussing pronouns as well as going on a shopping trip could help figure this out though! :heart: pray about it mama. I’m far from reaching this stage with my kids ages right now, but I will def say a prayer for you guys.

For the ones saying not at this age… you are aware that Dr’s don’t just do the surgery bcuz you walked through their doors…like most life changing surgeries, there are requirements & restrictions.

That being said. Let the child express how they feel. Support them in ALL ways possible. When the child reaches 16, they can then start hormones, at 18 they can have surgery.

The Ignorance :upside_down_face:

Get her counseling while she’s young. When she’s older (early 20’s) and still feels this way, support her. She’s too young right now to make that big of a decision. :purple_heart:

Give him all the love and support he needs. Research with him. Ask him questions. Be the rock he needs in this world.

My daughter is 11 and she watches tik tok videos and on thhere is tons of young children who are like that and she asks question and is very curious maybe she’s just curious on how it would be to be a boy ??I’m not sure if that makes sense lol but just let her experience it. Maybe it’s a faze :thinking::woman_shrugging:

Love & support her but I’d tell her to make major decisions later on. Living with hormone replacement that ya have to balance isn’t always a fun ride. I have to take daily thyroid hormone meds bc of cancer and I don’t recommend that anyone mess with their hormones unless it’s absolutely necessary. It sucks keeping things balanced sometimes.

What you want at 13 is not the same as 15, 18, 21 or 25. Your brain isn’t even fully developed until 25! There are ways to explore body and gender types without transitioning. Because if she transitions and then decides it’s not for her then what!?!? Not only that but a lot of transitioning ppl have changed their mind and are stuck with permanent changes. My opinion is anything under the age of 20 is too young to transition. But that’s my opinion. Good luck.

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why is this JUST now becoming such a huge topic??? this generation confuses me. things like this should be dealt with at home. in private.

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I’d start by being supportive of your son, and talk to him with an open mind about how he feels. Helping him transition at this age should be as simple as a new hairstyle and wardrobe.

I would tell her to wait a year and if she still wants this we will talk,there been so much on the net about this,she may just think it’s a cool thing to do.

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I genuinely don’t know how to respond. If it was 1 of my kids. Id be fully supportive but not allow any hormonal changes until adulthood, as its a permanent decision.

I would fully support them. We would begin doing research, talking to doctors and exploring options. Together would figure out what the next step would and how we handle everything.

That’s fine…be a duck of that’s what you want to be…physically I would wait until puberty is over…

Look up Non Binary Gender,she can find safe ways to express herself in the ways that feel most comfortable to her.typically they like to go by they/them if not he/him or she/her or whatever the fuck they wanna go by.best way go about it is to support her because she is learning about herself and that’s a difficult thing to do so young it could be confusing and kinda scary.this could b when she needs you to b supportive of her the most

I would make her wait in tell she can sign the forms herself.

Education. Together look up as much as possible about it. It is deep and emotionally important.

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Simply ask your child questions about it . And see where it started and go on from there . Get a better understanding

As a mom currently going through this all i can do is give my journey so far. We met with our pediatrician who sent out a referral for a lgbtq friendly therapist, we were recommended safe binders and we started with a haircut. After a therapist go ahead we’ll move forward with additional steps but we want to knows they have all support systems in place before hand.

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She is still a minor. This is a life altering decision, it could be her true self or it could also just be social media influence. I know many young kids who transitioned and regretted it few years later. Talk to her, ask questions. Get to know her and understand what she’s feeling

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My daughter is now and it’s her decision it’s going to be her life. I love her unconditionally

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Love ur child support them n anything they wanna do regardless of what it is

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I would love and support your daughter. It’ll be hard; but at this time she needs your support more than anything. You got this mama :pleading_face::heart:

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I would find a trans therapist. Psychologytoday.com. It lists their specialties. You and she might both get the support you both need. You might get the tools you need as well to discuss and help move forward. Best wishes🌸

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This should not even be a discussion at 13.

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Do what you’re child wants to do. No regrets. That’s YOUR baby No matter what!!!

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I’d take her off social media and let her live a normal life. Kids are so confused… She should be able to express herself as she wishes but I wouldn’t give her any hormones or transition until she talked to a counselor, and when she turns of age and has time to really process what she feels. I felt like I was a dude when I was young such a tom boy, thought girls were pretty just like boys. Dressed like a boy hung out with the boys. I am not even sexually attracted to women and have 2 boys of my own. Now the world confuses you and talks trash when you assume a woman’s a woman.

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If you love and support your chikd, the right pronouns are a way to start. Sit down and have a conversation. Ask what it means for them and for you and your relationship and how your child would like you to support them. All you can do is back them up and love 'em regardless of how hard it is for you to get used to it. Also, idgaf if they’re family, do NOT let anyone walk all over you and your child for allowing your child to be who they want and feel is themselves. Cut out all them toxic people, because that’s another way of supporting. Just hear your kiddo out and have a calm conversation.

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I knew I was queer and gnc at about 5 years old, but didn’t have the words or support to show it until I was an adult out of an unsafe home. Be there for your child, talk it out with them, make sure they know you love them and you wanna support them, and that you may need some help understanding some of it. I’m intersex and nonbinary myself, so I’ve lived the experience of having bad parents and abuse from just existing.

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My 17 year old is also FTM transgender. He socially transitioned about 2 years ago. He now presents solely as male with male pronouns and has picked a new name. Socially transitioning wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. I worried about how he would be accepted at school but everything went better than I could have imagined. Even though this is an anonymous post, if the member would like, you can message me and we can talk privately. It helps to have allies who have been in those shoes. And this momma is always here to help others navigate these waters.
:heart::orange_heart::yellow_heart::green_heart::blue_heart::purple_heart:

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Personally - I’d use the pronouns they want, see how they react to actually taking it seriously, either they go through with it all the way, or at some point they decide they’re not actually comfortable with the change. Definitely wouldn’t use hormones or surgeries at all until they’re adults. Then it’s their choice.

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Let them go shopping with them and support who they want to be it’s hard when they want to go by a lads name tho

I have a 10 year old tht has already says he likes boys … I’m not even mad … I said I don’t agree but it is ur life … I’d do the same on this one but no meds, surgery ect tell ur over 18 cuss then u have reached the age where you understand this isn’t an easy fix & one tht is an even harder redo

Love, counseling and no hormonal changes untill she could finance them on her own. After highschool graduation and she still has the desires to do such, she can. I’d still love and support her decision

Love and acceptance no matter the journey always wins :heart:

That’s your decision until she’s grown. Then that is her decision. If the devil

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Best to get them to see a psychologist, they have to go through that route if they want to transition anyway

Imo ….if they can’t make their own “legal” decisions until they are 18 . They should wait until they are 18 to take any drugs or have major surgeries .

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Get your child out of public school and into therapy

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Support their transition.

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At 12 i cried every day because I wanted to be a boy. I was frustrated with my body and not fitting in with all the other girls. I was a tomboy. Guess what? It took my early 30’s and lots of other people talking about transitioning to realize I was genderfluid.
I desperately wished I had someone to support me and help me navigate my feelings growing up. I’m becoming happier and happier expressing all facets of myself. Sometimes you really do have a really good clue as to who you really are when you’re young. Love, acceptance, and the freedom to explore really makes a difference. I probably wouldn’t have spent decades hating myself.
I’m much happier now identifying as genderfluid. (I go by all pronouns)

I personally think it’s the " cool" thing to do nowadays since they are being indoctrinated as young kids.

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Support your child. I’m so glad he felt safe enough to come to you.
I would recommend therapy, specifically a therapist that will help guide them through this time and all the hurdles they are going to face.

It’s a big road ahead and supporting him and using the pronouns he would like will make all the difference. Your child needs their mother right now.

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Do you love your kid? No matter what? Is your kids happiness and life important to you?
Those are the real questions you should be asking yourself.

If the answers are yes, then… you support them through whatever it is. If it’s a phase, it’ll be a phase but you making them feel heard and understood is what’s the most important thing. Nothing else is as important as loving your child UNCONDITIONALLY.

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If this was like 10 years ago I’d take it more seriously but it’s all over social media and kind of crammed down kids throats in my opinion. I would love her and never judge my child but I’d say you have to wait until your an adult. I remember girls insisting their gay in middle school but are married with children now. Sorry but they are children and should be treated as such!

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As a mother, I would try to teach her how to love herself. This is being taught in our schools. Personally, I was a tomboy for many years. I played sports with boys (often better) wore boy’s clothes. But the agenda wasn’t pushed through the school system, and so I naturally developed into a fearsome female. But that took time. 13 is too young to make that decision. She’s going through puberty and unsure of everything, as all pubescents are. Let her work it out, naturally.

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Has she seen a physiatrist? Most of the time the desire to transition is mental illness. I’d be supportive but bring her straight to see a dr ASAP.

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Also, I say him because those will be her pronouns if she goes through with it. It’s better to start acknowledging it now :slight_smile:

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Time. I’d tell my child to give it time. If after time, experienced and more knowledge on the subject they feel this way then we could deal with it. I will call you, and treat you how ever you wish, and I’ll always love you but I won’t support any life medical decisions until I am confident you are fully aware of what it all means. I think a lot of confusion comes with that age. Does your daughter want to be a boy, or does she feel like ahe likes boy things based off what society has grouped what a girl and boy should act like and think.

Just follow the kid’s lead and give them time to figure themselves out. Have an open dialogue and see how they feel about seeing an LGBT friendly mental health professional who can help them figure out if transitioning is what they actually want to do. Let them express themselves how they see fit.

Love and support them same.as.before but nothing permanent until they are of age because surgery pain is no joke :weary:

I will get a lot of negativity…

But… STOP ALLOWING YOUR CHILDREN TO BE CONTROLLED BY SOCIAL MEDIA!
So many “parents” asking what should I do if my child (typically not even a teen yet) asks to be transferred to the opposite sex!

They don’t even know what it means. They just think it’s okay because that’s all they’re seeing! They can’t make their minds up about anything.

I’ve been a tomboy my ENTIRE life and never once thought to physically transfer to a man.
Get a grip. Let your children grow up. When they get older and UNDERSTAND what’s in it for them- then let them.

I wouldnt. CHILDREN at that age are doing what the cool thing to do is. And many whose parents allow it. End up hating themselves and parents.

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Just be supportive. Some kids don’t know they’re in the wrong body until later.
I just recently found out I wasn’t male or female (I’m non binary) and I’m 31.
Just tell him, yes him, that you are proud of him. And help him enjoy the transition, it’s gonna be hard.

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Oh dear, she’s way to young to make that decision. She can’t fathom the effects or consequences at this age. I would sit her down and ask her why. What is all the sudden going on to make her feel that way? Try to find the reasoning behind those feelings. Explain to her that she’s physically, mentally and emotionally not capable of making such a grown up decision at this age and it’s probably just feelings that will pass eventually so you can’t condone any actual medical actions until she’s legally an adult. If she wants to pretend she’s a boy at home, just to gain a small glimpse into what it means to be male, then by all means allow her to dress however she wants and call her whatever she wants but make sure you treat her as a boy too and expect things from her you would expect from a boy. Like taking out trash, mowing the lawn, pee standing up, encourage her to go outside and shoot hoops, I dunno whatever boys do. If there’s a father in the home, have her help dad with fixing the car, and learn about tools and how to use them. Teach him what it means to be a “man” and how as an adult men are expected to financially provide for their family and work hard so the woman can stay home with the kids till their in school. I honestly don’t know what to tell you and I’m sure my advice will get some opposition and it may not be the best advice, but that’s how I would personally handle it if my daughter said that to me.

I would make her wait a year after making the decision or maybe even until she is 17 to make the decision as it’s hard to come back if you have made a mistake especially if she hasn’t expressed any signs before this point but this could have been her coming out so tread lightly

I’d take them shopping and see if they wanted a haircut.

She’s 13… WAIT
for the love of all that’s holy … WAIT
Kids change and change their mind OFTEN

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Oh wow!! that’s a tough one mom​:thinking:just be there for her love her, communicate…work together I really don’t no wat more to say? I don’t want to say something wrong" good luck! to you both​:purple_heart::purple_heart::pray:

I would find a good psychiatrist and get her some help.

Tell her your house, your rules. She has to wait til she’s 18. Maybe she’ll change her mind.

Seems this is turning into a very dangerous trend :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

Start adjusting your pronouns. Meet with a counselor to help you process.

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I feel bad for this poor child Smfh

Let her be her just love her

This is a UK charity who provide support for gender diverse families. Call their helpline for the best advice going forward :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

It’s heartbreaking how many parents are indicating that they would allow their children who have not even finished puberty to irretrievably mutilate their bodies and take life-altering drugs. ‘Transitioning’ should not be allowed until a person is an adult, and even then not until through psychological evaluation. Gender dysphoria is a treatable mental disorder, but children are often confused and grow out of it.

No too young to know

Shes too young to know what she wants.

Just support your child no matter what, they will need it
:pray:t2::rainbow::muscle:t2:

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Read for her da Bible

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She can wait till she’s 18. Unless you allow otherwise. Many children are being brainwashed by propaganda. Everyone wants to be a boy in a world of men but that doesn’t mean actually everyone would transition. She’s too young. Give her time. Tell her for now she can dress and look like a boy if she wants but I wouldn’t put any hormones in her body cuz she’s still developing physically.

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Start checking out where to start

Get her a therapist that specializes in gender disphoris first. Get her on puberty blockers now. Work with the therapist and go from there.

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Just love them and accept them

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Accept it and support it ! :heart:

Literally just accept and support Him :heart:

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Parents of Transgender/Non-Binary Kids a great group to also ask in

Support her if that’s what she wishes and just be there for her x

Have you watched I Am Jazz? Let your son be happy and accept the fact you no longer have a daughter but you gained a son🙂

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My child did the same at 13 hes now 15 and is finding his feet. Just go with it and be supportive of clothing choices haircuts etc it’s a very difficult time for them

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughter wants to transition from female to male: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

With All this promotion of gender this and that gender it’s no wonder our children are becoming quite confused. I feel so sorry for the upcoming generations !! Let these kids be kids!!! They can make adult decisions when they are adults. !!!

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At 13. Absolutely not. She can decide that when she turns 18 and has her own funds to pay for it

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When my daughter was 11 she told me she wanted to transition herself to male. I told her “ok, we can do that” that was that. I think my daughter just wanted validation that we would be on board with how she was feeling in that moment. She did dress as a boy for quite a while but she is now 13 and does not understand what she was thinking at 11 wanting to transition. Its definitely an age where you don’t know if its 100% what she really wants so id just play it by ear and be supportive either way!

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I refused to do Girl Scouts because I wanted to be a Boy Scout when I was that age. I am not trying to say it’s not important or don’t listen by any means, but I think children are not necessarily thinking it all through at that age. I don’t really know but my thoughts would be, it be supportive of what she wants to be called and how she wants to dress and then see down the road how she wants to go with that. Also I’m sorry if I used the wrong pronouns for that.

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If she wants to dress male then I would be ok with that. Let her dress and express herself how she wants. But fully transitioning , hormones and surgery I would not allow at all. Not because I wouldnt approve of it but because she is to young for that and can do that on her own when she turns of age… Like my daughter is 12 years old and wants a nose job :roll_eyes: she’s to young she can make those choices when she’s old enough. I will not let her get a nose job at her age. I let her play with makeup and contour her nose but that’s it for now.

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I tried to talk to my parents about identifying as Male at 12, 20 years ago. They ignored it and refused to call me by a Male name, so I suppressed it. I spent the next 17 years hating myself. Puberty was hell. I hated my body and I hated myself. I thought I was broken and inherently wrong. I dropped out of two colleges,attempted suicide, cut myself, and isolated myself. I came out in 2017, and since then I’ve been able to say that I love myself and I love my life. I haven’t medically transitioned, but I will forever regret that puberty blockers weren’t available when I was that age.
What your kid needs to know right now is that you love, accept, and support them no matter what. If their gender identity challenges some of your beliefs, I encourage you to talk to actual trans people about their experiences. You will find that, more often than not, puberty is a very common time to begin experiencing gender and body dysphoria.

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If she wants to wear boys clothes and cut her hair I say why not but transitioning is a huge decision and she is very young, I personally wouldn’t let my children transition if they wanted to they could do it when they are of age.

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At 13, “transitioning” is almost always solely just socially transitioning with little to no medical interventions. Social transitioning is nothing more than allowing them to present as they feel comfortable and respecting things like pronouns and requests like a more fitting name. Gender exploration is incredibly developmentally normal at this age. However, it’s always best to approach the situation like you are dealing with a child that is trans, period. For trans children, having affirming family and acceptance can literally mean life or death. If your child discovers down the road they are non-binary or the trans label don’t fit, your child still walks away with the knowledge you love them unconditionally and accept them no matter what. In your shoes, I strongly suggest getting established with a trans youth clinic and joining a few support groups for parents of LGBTQ kids if possible. Not only can they point you to an abundance of support and resources, but it will set the groundwork if/when you need it. Let him take the lead on all this. Start by asking him what you can do to help make him feel valid as a male and comfortable on his own body.
-Mom raising a 10 year old daughter that was assigned male at birth. My daughter socially transitioned at 7 and hasn’t wavered once about her gender identity since.

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I think you’re doing a good job as a mother if they’re comfortable enough to come to with you that!! So many kids suffer in silence. Let them dress how they identify as and call them what they want to be called. It could pass, it could not. It’s too early for T & all of that, but after a few years if they still want it then that’s a bridge you cross then. Welcome and respect your child now as they want to be :heart:

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With love and understanding. Just be there for her. But wait until she’s an adult before any gender surgery. So she knows ,she’s sure that’s what she wants.

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Seek counseling to ensure it’s the best for your child.

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My son asked why he wasn’t a girl or that he wanted to be a girl & my response is “God made you a beautiful boy”

That’s literally the end of it. He runs off to play.

A male is a male
A female is a female

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This has a lot of information for when they are young. Just be supportive. They have probably thought about it even if they haven’t ever said anything prior and have just built the courage and confidence to tell you. Find a counselor they can openly talk with because you may not ever be their fully safe space. Talk with a Doctor and hormone blockers. This will stop them from going through puberty. Going through puberty of the gender they don’t identify or feel they are will only cause them to hate themselves more and you if they do after they’ve told you. They are temporary so if they change their mind they can just stop them and it’ll be fine. Use the selected pronouns, name they choose, let them cut their hair,dress how they would like etc.

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Start with different clothes and pronouns and see how they feel! The fact they came to you about this means they feel comfortable sharing this with you. That’s so important! :heart:

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Tell her to go ahead as soon as she can afford to pay for it.

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My daughter wants to transition at 18 atm we just use the name she picked short hair and male clothing has been since he was 12 now almost 16

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Mental illness…the struggle is real

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Let kids be kids. Sometimes kids , my daughter included, say they want to be a boy so they don’t have to wear dresses. She also wanted to be a princess and a butterfly. You can let them wear whatever clothes they want. But hormone blockers and surgeries can be a permanent thing when they are too young to have the maturity levels mentally or emotionally to fully understand what transitioning/ gender reassignment means. Now when they are 18 and can fully understand it then readdress and be supportive

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