Hi, I’m a mother of four. My oldest is soon to be 18. Before thanksgiving, she was caught at school smoking weed. School tried notifying me but was unsuccessful, being that she blocked on the school numbers from my phone. So I never received the call or message. Being In, the states we are in, she is considered an adult and was taken to jail. She was put in a special program at school. Kinda like in-school suspension. She brought her grades and attendance up. Well, this evening I’m in the kitchen cooking, my younger ones in the living room watching a movie and she’s in the bathroom showering. So I thought… I go to the hallway and what do I smell. Weed. She’s smoking in the bathroom. I’m livid. I don’t know what to do. How to punish her. I was a single mom for many years. So I can’t count on her father.
Its weed… it’s legal in many many states now.
Want her taking pills or crack? 
Shes a adult let her live her life and face the consequences.
So i was this child. And my mom actually told me that if i was going to smoke to do it responsibly. She’s almost 18, and as the child i feel like i had a better relationship with my mom because she approached things the way she did…you cant keep her from doing it and if she hides it from you she’s more likely to do it in places where she can get in trouble for it
Call the non emergency hotline in your state and tell them you want to scare her straight some times they’ll help you
So many pros to weed then cons. Maybe she has anxiety or something affecting her that this helps. Drinking would be more harmful.
If you don’t like her doing it tell her not to do it at your house. She’s an adult.
Well… She’s an adult, her grades are up… What’s the problem. Ask that she smokes outside and not in your home. Problem solved
i mean if it’s legal in your state, she’s almost an adult i would tell her no smoking in my house, no paraphernalia allowed in my house (IF you don’t like it) otherwise i’d tell her to only do it at home in the backyard or something so it’s not around siblings but somewhere where she is SAFE.
Tell her to keep it out of school and don’t do it while driving. And if you don’t like it, ask her to keep it in her room only
My daughter experimented with weed it’s not the end od the 
Its just weed… Much worse things she could be doing. Maybe not in the house?
Dont kick her out. TALK to her. Have a long one on one time.
Shes 18 and it’s just weed. Chill out. Just tell her she is not to smoke in your home.
She sounds manipulative. Blocking numbers on your phone, telling you she’s doing 1 thing when she’s doing another. On her 18th birthday have her stuffed packed. She wants to be an adult so bad let her be 1.
Honestly, I’d rather have my child smoke weed than something else. I’m bipolar, have severe depression and anxiety. I eat edibles every now and then. See if she is ok… depressed, going through something. Kids will not open up to you if the first thing you do is punish them. While yes, things need consequences but confront them in a loving manner. Weed probably helps her relax… is she’s stressed… then I kind of don’t blame her. She needs another outlet if you are strict on that not being an acceptable thing in your household 
It could be meth … maybe sit down and talk with her and express you worry and just be real with her
Trust her & allow her to trust you. Just give her a safe space so she’s not getting caught in public. My mom used to drug test me to get me to stop so I turned to pills bc they’re out of your system quicker. Let her smoke.
She’s still going to smoke it either way any “punishment” you dole out will literally have no effect she’s 18 not 8 but considering you don’t like it she could have enough respect no to smoke it in the house
Tell her she has a choice weed or a place to live. Ya don’t want that around yar other kids in yar home . Choice it is. It hurt as a mom but sometimes we have to use. tough love .
Take it away. Even though it’s legal in alot of places, its not like bubble gum, for anyone, there are rules and repercussions for bad behavior…not many will take it seriously because its weed. I think you should guilt her badd… shes being disrespectful to you in your home. Send her to her dads.
Punish her?
educate her!
well shes at hme and not at skool so who cares… if shes old enuff to go to jail shes old enuff to make her own choices if she smokes it or not… shes not hurting anybody… dont c wot the big deal is tbh
Probably nothing u can do, she’s almost 18 & will prob do it anyways… except tell her no smoking in the house, at school, or around your other children.
Shes 18… let her do what she wants. If she gets caught that’s on her…she will learn quick.
I was that kid. My parents were ridiculously strict… the more they pushed and yelled about me doing bad stuff, the worse I would do. To the point of a full blown opiate addiction (that I have since overcome but beside the point) I honestly feel like if you talk to her and work with her it could be very beneficial and could stop a drastic downward spiral
You can’t punish her it is illegal as she is 18 and an adult. Tell her to smoke out in the back yard. It’s only pot for fuck sake.
She almost 18 wtf no no no she doesn’t get to do as she please because she is almost a adult the fact is she lives at your house you pay bills she still has to follow by your rules plain and simple
I would sit her down and talk to her about it. I would tell her to be responsible and keep it separate from school. If you dont want her smoking in the house i would ask her not to smoke in the house. Shes going to smoke no matter what you say to her but if you set rules up like no smoking in the house or around you then it will help your relationship with her alot and if she sees your accepting then she might open up to you about more thats going on in her life.
If she is 18, what can I do.
But, dont do it in my house.
Honestly i was this kid. My dad was a single father, and although he didn’t agree AT ALL, he said he would rather me smoke at home than go out and rebel and get in trouble. Have a sit down conversation with her- if you yell she’s not going to listen. She’s young, probably got into it because her friends think its cool (thats how i started). But honestly I didn’t stop smoking until I got pregnant so I don’t have much more insite for you, other than be calm and collected with her or she’s just going to rebel.
She is almost an adult, all you can really do is inform her she is not allowed to smoke inside your house. She is going to smoke either way, as you can see. Make her take it outside and let her face whatever consequences may come of smoking at school. She’s gotta learn some things for herself.
Nothing much now she is 18…but you need to establish the no smoking in the house nor driving. She knows what happens if she is caught outside the home.
It’s just weed. I dont even smoke it but I did once upon a time. The fact it is still illegal in some states is ridiculous! With that being said. It is.I think you should just talk to her about being respectful and responsible while smoking. School is off limits.if she smokes at home be smart . dont just walk around the neighborhood advertising selling it .She has younger siblings and you dont need cops knocking on the door taking you both to jail. Sit her down discuss with her like an adult why its important to follow rules. And be thankful shes just smoking weed and not crack or anything that can kill her.
Maybe sit down and have a conversation with her. All kids turn to drugs for a reason. Maybe it’s helping her deal with a situation you are unaware of. If she can open up to you without feeling like she is going to get punished you might find out the reason why she is doing it.
I’d have an open and honest conversation about smoking weed with her. Listen to her reasoning. Express your concerns. Look up health risks. And then if she’s going to continue to do it just ask her not to drive and not in your house and definitely not at school. And maybe wait til after homework and studying are done. She’s going to do it whether you like it or not if she wants to honestly.
As a teenager I smoked weed for my anxiety and depression, it was the only thing that helped me. Maybe she’s using it for the same reasons? I’d let her smoke it outside as long as she keeps her grades and attendance up. She’s going to do it regardless, might as well provide a safe place to do it so she doesn’t end up in trouble trying it hide it from you.
If it was my daughter, I wouldn’t blow up and go ballistic on her, I’d sit her down and have a chat, I’d rather her smoke in my house (wouldn’t let it inside but outside) then out on the street doing much worse…
Tell her to smoke outside.
If it was my child and shes an adult I wouldn’t do anything… however in your home if you have more younger children is not ok… I know alot of good people with good jobs who smoke and that’s ok!
Weed or not, still an illegal substance and could get you in trouble. Maybe not as big of a deal as crack like some are saying, but at the end of the day it’s your house and your rules. I’d sit down with her and tell her what you expect and that this isn’t going to cut it. Especially being that she went to jail for it already and now is doing it inside the house where her siblings also live. I’m of the mind that my rules will be followed or they can move out when they’re an adult. My mom was waayyyy to relaxed with punishments and my sisters abused it. I know another mom that took the child’s bedroom door off, took the tv and phone, etc, left just the bed and clothes in the bedroom until the child could act right.
Why is she doing it is the question the ask. Weed has more pros and pretty much no cons besides it being illegal.
My house my rules, she would follow my rules or move out and adult.
She is almost at that age to be legal… you tell her not to do it, she will anyways… It will also effect your relationship. now if you tell her not in your house, she will be in public doing it and that’s even worse. i would tell her to keep it in her room atleast and let her be her, she’s growing up just let her do this experience she wants to do… atleast it isn’t other drugs that are WAY worse. Your a wonderful mom for being concerned but it will all depend on how you go about this situation. Be strong and try to understand her at the same time, hope it goes well 
At least she’s not smoking meth or fentanyl, just make sure you have enough snacks in the house.
She’s an adult kick her ass out
We are in Canada wheres it’s legal
My rule is you smoke outside
Sit her down and talk to her. Explain to her that this road will lead to a dead end. She could get a hold of some bad stuff and get addicted. Also tell her it won’t be tolerated in your home. It’s disrespectful as well as illegal. If all else fails, pack her bags and tell her that she needs to be an adult if she wants to do adult things. She must know that you’re having a hard time as a single parent. It’s not fair to you. Share that with her
It may only be weed but if it’s illegal she needs to follow the law. If she’s an adult let her smoke also letting her know, not around you, not driving and and if she gets caught she pays the price. You won’t be bailing her out from jail, no paying her legal fees etc. She’s must pay her own way if she wants to be an adult. You can show up to court for her to show your love but she pays her court fees her attorneys fees and her probation.
My advice is sit down w her and talk to her. Fimd out why shes smoking it. I know i smoke it for weed. If its legal in your state mayve try lettinh her smoke it.
But make rules. Like no smoking in certain rooms od the house. No smoking outside of the home(especially school) and so on.
Just talk to her. That may be all she needs. Maybe shes stressed. Or maybe it helps her focused. You never know what she is going througj. And punishing her right away wothout figuring out the why isnt gonna help anyone. Good look
I would talk to her.
They’re almost 18 time to start acting like she’s an adult, let them be it’s just weed be glad it’s not cocaine
Tell her, as a mother you just can not have her smoking pot in the house.
she’s an adult. just tell her to smoke it outside and not at school 
Be happy it’s only marijuana… I think the more you punish the more she will rebel and since she’s almost 18 once she gets on her feet she might not want to talk to you for a while. Could be a phase. Pot is not this horrible drug they try to make it out to be. Hungry happy sleepy.
Tough love mom!!! Not easy but consequences
Smoke with her? Wish my mom would have instead of being an uptight bitch.
Time to start real punishment. Take away her luxuries. No car, no going out with friends, no computer, extra chores at home. When she cleans up her act and isn’t getting in trouble anymore then she can earn her luxuries back. Obviously her short stint in jail didn’t teach her enough so time to give her a taste of what jail is really like.
It’s weed, I don’t smoke it but I don’t think it’s bad, I don’t smoke anything so smoking in the house period is a no go. Tell her she has to go outside or in the shed. Set limits, I know it’s not what any parent wants from their kid is doing “drugs” but weed isn’t a drug it’s a plant, taking it away won’t do anything, tell her off won’t do anything, if she wants to do it she will and she will find ways!
Tell her not to smoke in your house. But be grateful she isn’t hiding in your bathroom shooting up heroin. It could be way worse than pot momma. Put down your foot about not smoking in your house. If she gets caught outside, she’s an adult, & its on her. Push her too hard & you might push her away & into worse. Tread lightly but respectably hold your ground.
My mum , a single parent herself, man or no man, I’d still know what’s right what’s wrong, if it’s illegal explain to her why the effects the damage it can do, if you just don’t want her doing it in the house around the kids, at the end of the day we were all kids once wanting to experiment but it’s got to be done in a safe controlled way IF you want her doing it while under your roof. I wouldn’t let her do what she wants if you dont find it acceptable then it needs to be known.
Its a herb not a drug don’t be worried … That’s safer than tobacco and alcohol and drugs…(meth ect) heck it is safer than panadol 
It doesn’t have to be either or.
So many of yall saying it’s just weed. It’s better than pills or alcohol. Why the hell does this child need any of those things?
This mother doesn’t have to just accept her daughter smoking pot bc it’s the better option.
How the hell does she do that to your phone that’s your damn phone. Unfortunately you can not stop her from doing what she wants but it is your home. You are in a tough spot because you are a mother and your child is always your child. In addition to this if she got arrested chances are it’s because it’s illegal. You have to protect the other children. They are YOUR Responsibility and if you allow her to keep doing this inside the residence you may lose your kids because of her. Some may think this is minute but no one seems to think that there are other children in the home.
Your work with that one is already done mom.
You can ask that she not use it at school, or in your house if you object. She is more likely to respect your wishes if you are reasonable.
Keep the communication open.
…Ima comment because I can’t stand when people view HERBS as a killing drug. Its legal in many states … is Meth/coke/heroin legal or will they ever be legal ? mhmmm. Do your research on it, educate yourself on it, Your child is 18… yes as a mother we’ll forever be worried about our babies, but shes 18 she makes her pathway in life now. She should be smart with it of course.
She’s an adult you can’t do anything tell her to go outside be glad it’s only weed. She could be smoking cigarettes maybe she has anxiety and it helps it’s really not that bad
I would take some time to calm down first of all. Going at all this when you’re livid will not do anything good. I would wait until you’re calm and talk to her. Lay down the rules, explain the consequences and go from there.
What state are you in?
tell her not to smoke in your house and look up some info on it. I started smoking st 19 and its helped me so much with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, PTSD so on. 28 years old now with a decent job money in the bank. so weed isn’t bad it’s just the reasoning behind why that needs to be established. to look cool=bad ? to help anxiety and depression= good.
just have her smoke it outside where your other children are not around it. pot/ weed is alot better then the other crap they have running the streets.
Tell her outside and never infront of her siblings not at school she gets in troble all well it’s on her
It’s weed slow sown momma but you start yelling at her she gonna run away and you won’t see her believe me I was that teenager as soon as momma told me I couldn’t do something I did what I wanted so with my kids I talked to them told if they want to smoke cigarettes or weed plz do it at home where I know they are safe and I can keep them safe
You can get in trouble for it being that it’s in your house and it’s illegal. And not good for the younger kids to see either. But. She is an adult technically. I would tell her if she is going to do it to not do it or bring it in your house. And make sure she understands that it is illegal and the consequences of her actions. A drug charge on her record is not good if she is caught and could affect her future with jobs etc. Other than that not much else you really can do. She will find a way to do it anyway.
Tell her that if she wants to smoke, she isnt allowed to smoke in your house. If she keeps smoking in your house, tell her it’s time to get her own apartment. Cannabis isn’t harmful, look up some of the health benefits, and what it can help treat. Do a bunch of research. If it’s because of reefer madness that you dont want her smoking, educate yourself. If it’s because you dont like the smell, and dont want it in the house, tell her to take it outside.
My husband smokes weed everyday because it’s healthier than the pain meds the docs prescribed. I smoke weed in the occasion to relax because it’s healthier than the Xanax prescribed to me. She shouldn’t be smoking at school but besides that I don’t see the big deal. It’s literally better than her drinking.
If it was me I would ground her for a while take the phone etc. Under my roof my rules .
I feel for you mama I don’t have advice about weed my son is 15 and was caught numourse times vaping at school and got suspended so many time he also sneaky smokes weed with his friends he was kicked out of his high school and put in a behavioral school I just got him in a program where he has to go to meetings and they drug test him and everything I’m hoping this will make him stop so they have any programs where you live you can get her in? I’m sending you love and hoping you get her the help she needs to stop smoking
It’s weed I am a recovering addict I was the one who put my family through hell
“At least it’s weed and not ‘fill in the blank’” is absolutely ridiculous! If it’s against the law, it’s against the law. Period. Like it or not, that’s what it is until legislation is changed. My kid would be on lockdown. No privileges whatsoever. That would’ve happened as soon as I found out about the 1st time and the number blocking incident. She can abide by your rules or she can leave. Tough love has saved many lives!!
Keep saying NO … BUT shes just going to keep on doing it. PLUS shes almost 18
I would ask she not smoke in the house or around her siblings. Weed isn’t as bad as people act. And wouldn’t you rather her do it in your home, safely? My parents were ridiculously strict with it growing up and I don’t feel it helped my siblings or I in the long run. It’s legal in Michigan now. And my siblings and I are all adults with kids and our parents have come around to realize they’d rather us smoke or eat edibles safely, then drink or do pills or serious drugs. My brothers use for anxiety and depression, my hubby as well. I eat edibles to go to bed. Insomnia sucks! My oldest is almost 14 and curious, he came to his dad asking questions. We are now open with him. No we will not let him do it, but we asked that he comes to us first, and try it with US or at least at our home, so we know he’s safe. when he’s a little older. Seems like she needs to be educated and not using at school or in public where she can go to jail. Did she already get punished at school? Punished by going to jail? Educate and teach responsibility and move on!
Did you ask if she was okay? Maybe she’s depressed or has pains or PTSD anxiety or something
Smoke with her… could be best buds…
Law enforcement needs 2 b called. Tough love. U could b considered contributing.
Too young to smoke in the house without consent from you! Even if she does continue to smoke up she should be adult enough to have a conversation with her mother about it without sulking around your back. Especially just getting in trouble at school.
Explain how she can’t do it in a government building because it’s a felony
Sit her down and have an adult conversation.
At the end of the day it’s only weed. If that’s the worst she ever does, I’d say you are doing good as a parent.
I would talk to her about the effects of drug use. Give her real reasons she shouldn’t smoke weed but also make her feel comfortable to come to you for advice. If she goes out with her friends, she’s gonna do it anyway. It could definitely be a worse drug and also she did do it in your house where she is safe.
Your house your rules. If she’s 18 I’d honestly start charging her rent and money to cover food/cost of living. Make her get a job if she doesn’t have one. I don’t really care if she’s smoking weed, but not in my house. Shit stinks! She’s an adult so time for some tough love.
Your house, your rules. At the very least, she could respect you by not smoking in the house. As for quitting altogether, that’s for her to figure out.
Not much you can do for an adult child. Hope she doesn’t end up screwing up her life. I made bad decisions with little to no parents around and pulled my head out of my ass. Did it by myself, too. Two degrees later, and a dead end job, still doing what I think is “right”.
What the hell! She needs to smoke outside
Fuck that… you wanna make adult decisions alright… “rent due on the 1st no later than the 3rd … you have this day to do laundry and make sure you label all of your food.
If she is doing it due to depression let her it is calming also if she gets diagnosed with depression and they give her anti depressants it will affect her brain into reversing the effect of marijuana (which acts as a depressant when consumed while on
prescription anti depressants also alcohol the same) … Ive had 2nd hand experience
tell her to smoke outside. lol some of these comments lmaoooooo
I would have a serious talk if your going to use marijuana at least be responsible. Are you stupid? Why are you smoking at school and getting caught?!
You can’t stop her because she will still do it, but I would inform her of the repercussions of her actions and how irresponsible she’s being. If your going to be bad you can’t be stupid too.
I was raised in an open door policy with my parents they did not like that I smoked but they couldn’t say anything bc they were hippies b4 they had kids. So we all sat down and talked and they said that if I wanted to smoke please do it at home so we know you are safe. And you know what I did that and if I went out and did something stupid I’d called my mom or dad and they would come get me. I realized quickly that I honestly didn’t want to do that anymore bc I saw the dissapointed look in their eyes. I have a open door policy with my kids and tell them anything they want to know. And they talk to me about everything even if they can’t look me in the eye.
I agree it’s time for tough love
She’ll be mad for awhile but that’s ok
Do what you gotta do. She will appreciate it later. Trust me been there done that but it worked…
If you have provided her a cell phone or any electronic it gets taken away now. She’s almost 18 so there isn’t a lot you can do but I’d tell her if you catch her smoking one more time in YOUR house her bedroom door is coming off and you will disable the lock on the bathroom door. If you don’t make a huge impression now on her she will walk all over you. Be tough mamma.
Shes almost 18 have a talk about it and tell her not to be doing that on school grounds she needs to make better decisions sadly she will keep doing it and she’s all most an adult
Well weed isn’t bad or unhealthy and cures some cancers, and is a million times better that over-the-counter pain relievers so be thankful shes being smart and responsible for not smoking in front of her younger siblings. Tell her to smoke outside from now on. And smoke a giant bowl with her so you’ll relax.