I really could use some advice…my daughter had a baby with someone who is not the nicest…they are both 19 and now him and his mom are coming for custody of the baby with false accusations…they are claiming baby lives in an unsafe environment and is in dnager and are taking ym daughter to court…its all untrue…also claiming she wont let him see the baby but that also isnt true he doesnt want to come on his own…i have told her from the beginning that he was no good and neither was his mom but as always…18 year olds are always in the right…this kid even at point point kicked in her car windshield but she didnt want to press charges…more recently he left her on the side of the road with baby and a cop had to drive her home because he refused…i dont know what to do or how to handle this…will they even have a case if its all lies and no proof? where do we go from here?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My daughters baby daddy is taking her to court: Help! - Mamas Uncut
Sounds like there’s two sides to this. 
But whatever. Get a lawyer, and actually think of what’s best for the baby and not just the idiot adults. 
Document everything. There should be record of him leaving her and the baby on the side of the road considering a police officer got involved. Any text messages, emails, etc. But also come to the realization that he probably has some type of incriminating evidence towards your daughter as well. Be ready for it all and ask your daughter to be brutally honest with her lawyer about everything.
Get an attorney. Have everyone you know write affidavit to attesting to her parenting and his or lack there of.
Unfortunately ur going 2 come up with ways as proof that these ththings are untrue
Keep documents of everything he done messing with her car hopefully there a police report of leaving her and the baby on the side of the road. Do not let him take the baby anywhere he can keep the child until court. Let him get visitation and pay support.
Dont let him near that baby now until court is involved.
All you can do is prove your side take evidence photos of your home screenshots anything and hire a lawyer
To take a child they have to be able to prove unfit. Never have I seen a mother loose their child cause of hear say.
Prove your side and there should he no worries
Make sure she documents all of this stuff! Any text exchanges, things that have happened(if a cop had to take her and the baby home, they should have that documented), tell her to text him to see when he plans to come see the baby so that way it’s all in writing for the courts. If none of it’s true there really shouldn’t be an issue and at most he would get 50% custody(even if she doesn’t like the guy, as the father he is entitled to that if they courts deem he’s a fit parent). Make sure you follow all court arrangements to a T, custody, everything. It’s going to be a rough road.
Definitely lawyer up, but most judges won’t take a child from their mother without real evidence thr mother isn’t stable. And maybe that police officer that took her home can vouch for her. Written statements from everyone can help. Also, question why he’s not contacting dhs and going straight to court? Document everything and gotta start making police reports. And until a court order is in place don’t let him have the baby because he can do the same and once he has baby doesn’t have to let mom have baby until an agreement from a judge is there. Temporary custody as well. Use the leaving her on the side of the road as the main justification and hopefully you remember this police officers name. It will come in handy.
Biggest thing is to remember there are two sides of the story and somewhere in the middle is the truth.
Be prepared and organized, use colour coordination, keeping everything neat and tidy. Have dates, text messages, times all in chronological order. Go back as far as possible. Make sure you have affidavits from as many people as possible who can prove the situations they are claiming are false. Best of all hire a lawyer 
No case if no proof. BUT until the case is settled do NOT let him near that baby
If he hasn’t established paternity and they weren’t married in most states he doesnt have rights to the child until that is done. However with no proof of all that unfortunately its probably hearsay. But most courts are for the mother. I’ve been down that road myself and didnt want to press charges. Kicking myself now because it would have helped me now.
Its his mama doing this now wanting him to take her to court. You now will have the court will have someone coming to your house to see the living arrangements if its safe. Make sure the child has his own room.
You need to document everything and take pics or record if possible. It would b great to find the policeman that brought her and baby home that day. Good luck!
Make your house perfect. I know I went through the BS
Get a report from the cop who brought them home. That shows he’s lying and he put them in danger. They will need proof that the child’s in danger or living in an unsafe environment. Does she live with you? Go to court with her. I don’t see a judge giving the BD custody but he might get visitation. I would definitely ask for supervised visits to begin with. His mother doesn’t matter. Custody is between mom and dad.
My ex got my son and kept him from me for a year. Dont let that baby go anywhere keep a close eye
They’ll have a case and he still has rights, he’s the dad. Doesn’t matter if your daughter didn’t want to press charges, because she didn’t she can’t prove it now. Maybe if you reach out to the cop who picked her up he could testify that she was left out with the baby. Sounds like a toxic environment on both sides. That’s why people should pick more carefully who they have kids with, because that baby is the one suffering with two parents who can’t get their shit together.
Get all the documents you can including text messages between them any police reports or legal reporting that you have
Document, document, document. She should get a calendar/planner specifically to use for all communication, visitation and incidents regarding her child’s father. Communicate ONLY via text or email. Print out texts and staple to the date they occurred. She should not engage in any communication that does not specifically involve the child.
Make a police report regarding the windshield.
Contact the deputy who drove her and her child home and request he provide a statement of the event.
And get an attorney immediately.
Get police reports and start documenting every thing…
Document everything all the conversation of him not wanting to see the baby to if there is proof he kicked the windshield in. Until court don’t let him take the baby because the police won’t get the baby back they will say it’s for family court
Document everything, the courts tend to see through this type of behavior especially with evidence against it. My ex made all kinds of wild accusations against me and the judge straight called him on his bs. Get an attorney. Request copies of the police notes. Even if there isn’t a case open they document but there is a process to go through to get copies and that takes time. Start accumulating any documentation from doctors visits and insurance information for the baby. The courts consider this information in assigning custody and which parent has been the primary caregiver. At least in my state. Good luck!
If you don’t have the money to hire a lawyer, see if your town or state has legal aide in your county that you can take to
DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT! text messages, phone calls, in person encounters. Write it all down with date and time. Get documentation from the police about the encounter. Get pediatrician notes on the well-being of the baby. Bring it all. They will have to prove the situation is “unsafe” and she is “unfit”.
She need to save all text messages
Record all phone calls
If she has the officers name who took her home the night she and the baby was left that may help
Proof of him damaging her car
If he’s on the birth certificate, he can take the baby and not have to bring it back. So I wouldn’t allow him to take the baby until she has been given full custody and I would make it supervised visitation. Plus she should use the police report about him leaving her and the baby on the side of the road abandoned against him in court for abuse and neglect against him.
Ladies please be choosy who you sleep with.
Save any and all contact take videos and even call a social worker (not DCF/cps like a worker from the doctor office) to have this documented. Make sure everything is up to snuff and she should be fine.
Either way if he is said father and proves no harm to baby custody is usually 50 50
Police reports and a good lawyer
She needs to gather all the proof of his behavior
She needs to put him on child support and make it known that she’s the one who has the baby. Don’t let him do it before her!!
Don’t worry. For as long as he doesn’t have proof of your daughter being unfit mother, and don’t have proof of all his accusations against your daughter, then he doesn’t have a case whatsoever. The court will always give the mother custody to a baby unless the setuations with the Mother is really in bad shape.
From my 21 times of being taken to court by my miserable ex for my oldest daughter… I’ve been told this “anyone can take anyone to court, they will also need to provide substantial evidence of allegations.” So if everything is on the up and up on your daughters side then she shouldn’t have an issue if he does decide to proceed with court. It’s a dreadful process. Good luck to you. I’m also located in NY. So the laws may differ from state to state.
Get police reports fr when the police had to drive her home and document document document
Get a lawyer, keep records of absolutely everything. Texts , photos . Get a statement from the police person that had to drive her home. Take photos of her car damage that he caused. Take photos of where the baby lives , get affidavits of others stating how the baby is looked after and how well cared for she is.
Get as much proof as you can. Write everything down. Keep documentation of EVERYTHING. Seek council as well
Get a good attorney, document everything. Make sure the baby is well taken care of and the house is always clean and there’s nothing they are going to do.
I can’t stress to document any and everything. Even if you think it’s small! Lawyer up ASAP and as stated above, do NOT let him near the baby until some type of custody has been established. Request a copy of any police report, esp the one where he left her and the baby on the side of the road. And also remember, he can state whatever he wants, but without proof, it means nothing.
She’ll get support. He’ll get visitation the end. The time to decide he’d be a bad dad was before you had sex with him. He has rights and that’s that. Don’t waste your money on lawyers. You can’t control who he dates. He can take the baby and spend time any way he wants, with any one he wants. It will be joint custody, you’ll most likely get primary.
Don’t go this independently. Lawyer up. No excuse that’s it’s too much. This is that baby’s welfare you’re talking about
I would take pictures and videos of house and kids so if and when he takes her to court you will have all proof so tell her grab any and all proof and evidence she has
Get the police reports from all of that pics record everything. I wouldnt let them around til you lawyer up!
They have to prove she isn’t fit. Any evidence you have take it with you
Set up supervised visits until you have gone through court - do not withhold the child, it will look bad on her. But if you say he can come to your place and your mom supervise and have it in writting/over text. DO NOT MAKE PLANS OVER THE PHONE. Have evidence.
Unless there is proof she is an unfit mother the judge is not going to give the father full custody he is out of his mind
Ask for a guardian ad litem
I’m unsure of what state you are in but tomorrow morning she can go to the court house and full out a parenting plan. The sooner the better. If she’s able to get a report of when the cop drove her home and she needs to keep any and all texts and proof of what is being said between the 2 of them. Even if she has any proof that he did that to her windshield. and she should print it all off and start putting it together in a folder that way she has proof for the judge. She can also put in there that he needs to have supervised visitations with a state worker and even that they do parenting classes together. Do not let him have the baby at this point because he can take the baby and not bring it back
If you can afford an attorney, get one. Request a guardian ad litem or court visitor who can investigate and give the court a recommendation.
I would get the police report from the officer taking her home. If there’s text messages, emails, voicemails, etc I would gather all of them. Print out any messages from him. I would write out dates when things have happened. If they are claiming about the environment, CPS might get involved and do a home check. It’s very hard to prove someone as an unfit parent.
Honestly keep any evidence of her texting him asking if he’s gonna come see the baby and etc.
Any documentation at all you have against him. I’d call legal aid or get a lawyer to. But he also has to prove that your unfit and unsafe for the baby to be around.
If he came over and decided to walk out the door with the baby I don’t think anyone could stop him neither one has legal custody
I would be in contact with the officer that drove her home, and just keep all proof you have. If the accusations are false, they won’t have proof and you will.
Take it from a father that had to fight for his kids. In a custody hearing the mother is always gonna win unless the father can PROVE the mother is unfit. That’s what I had to do. Prove she was unfit. With pictures and witnesses. Your daughter if what he’s saying is lies should have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Dcp&p will likely get involved if they haven’t called already. Just prove the child is taken care of and safe then that eliminates that part of it. Make custody arrangements, child support, and anything else you may need done while there at once otherwise just a bigger headache and more court dates down the road. Depending on where you live not much will matter anyway. He’ll still get visitation and all of that. Most states will not deny that unless something major was done against the baby. Very few states have grandparent rights left so it’s only going to be whatever they grant the father to worry about. Most judges won’t even listen to half the nonsense because it’s all hearsay.
They have to prove everything they are saying.
Definitely get a lawyer and if she has any pictures or recording or text messages they can be used also call the department for a report from that night they will have it on file.
If it’s untrue then you have nothing to worry about !! The don’t take kids away without proof ! They will check your daughters place and that’s it
Start by getting a restraining order if you can, but always document hiis actions, what he did, when he did it, what he said, has he contributed any money, bought diapers or formula? Come into court with a blow by blow of his bad behavior and you have a better chance of beating the lies. If the insurance company paid to replace the windsheild or if you did, hold on to that, too.
Well, for starters, get a report from the officer that had to drive her and her baby home. Get the bill of repair for her windshield and any recorded conversations she’s had with him about him refusing to visit the child on is own. She needs to stop contact with him and use emails only as they can be used in court. I wouldn’t let him have the child without his mom or you there and record all the visits. Yes he can take the baby from her and refuse to give the child back since there is no court order in place. I’d tell her to file for a restraining order since he’s proven to be violent. Once she has a lawyer, she can state that he can have visitation with his child 2 times a week for 4 hours and every other weekend from Friday night until Sunday night. But the pick ups and drop offs should be through a third party. Meaning someone else other than him has to pick up/drop off the child from your residence since she should be filing for a restraining order. Request child support and for her to be the primary caregiver of the child. Meaning she would have to make all medical and educational decisions when it comes to the child.
Keep a timeline and notes of EVERYTHING and get an attorney.
Provide documentation on everything. A statement from that officer, the report about the windshield… everything. Request visitation starts as supervised. Communicate only in text or email and submit all to the courts as well.
It’s VERY hard to get custody he won’t go far with this. Judges don’t jus hand a baby over because someone said something. There is MANY steps that would have to be done first and even then doesn’t promise anything. Judges also kno and can tell right away when people r jus being malicious and lying they see it and deal with it all the time
She needs to get an attorney. All her communication with him needs to be done through text messages. That way they can be screenshot. She does need to be careful with what she says though in her messages. She needs to get a copy of the incident report from when he left her and the baby on the side of the road.
Usually CPS is called for a welfare check regarding an unsafe environment. She needs to video her home, the child’s clothes, child’s toys, food and all rooms in the home. She needs to be mindful of who she is letting visit her home.
She also needs to keep track of all her child related expenses and any contributions he makes. Any cash he gives her, she needs to give him a receipt. The receipt needs to include what the payment is for.
Stress to her that she needs to be mindful of who she lets into her home right now and her home has got to stay clean.
Make sure you have proof that everything they are claiming isn’t true
Document document document EVERYTHING! Print out texts, social media posts, anything that is negative about your daughter and your home, ect… save any voicemails. When they walk into court with nothing and you have everything to show to prove your case, you will be fine. Trust me, my advice is based on experience. Also, on top of all other evidence I suggest you have, start a log. Keep it in a notebook just for that purpose, and keep it good so if needed, you can hand it right over to the judge. Best of luck to you and your daughter.
Get a family law lawyer. It depends on the State but it is up to them to prove what they are saying. Both incidents are documented even if she did not press charges. She needs to keep all texts and document all communication and threats. Make sure she meets in public with witnesses and doesn’t let them take the baby because they could keep the baby until the court decides who gets primary custody. Good luck
She needs to document everything, distance herself from him and get a lawyer 
Without the proof the judge is gonna laugh at them lol 

I’m going to court for similar reasons. My ex also filed false accusations against me as well. I’d say get a good attorney and go from there.
Sorry to say but dad has custody rights too. Now they’ll battle it in court. He could get 50/50 if that’s what he asks for. For full custody, he’d need to prove his accusations.
So New York is a one-party state which means that you can record conversation. Download an app called all call voice recorder save any text messages or emails etc. Try not to communicate on social media or in person when possible. Tell your daughter to behave like somebody’s always watching and let him act inappropriate. Courts are pretty much about the best interest of the child though they can be manipulated. As long as the house is actually safe, which it should be then ask the court for a home visit. They can assign a little guardian and if neither party has money, which it sounds like you guys don’t at 19, court will probably pay for it. Thank him decide the best interest of the child and they can possibly do a home visit. You can take pictures of the environment. Also before anything you can get to court, have your daughter take classes. Make sure she does not mention this to the ex-boyfriend. Have her take infant and child cpr. Something where she receives a certification. See if she can take an online class or in person class about child development. They do offer parenting classes but honestly a lot of those classes are mandated by CPS or social services… If you can take classes on child development etc to show that you are an invested parent who cares about the best interest of your child that would be ideal. Bare minimum the infant child CPR class. I don’t know how old the baby is but if she is breastfeeding that’s something else important to mention to the court.
If you have anybody such as a pediatrician or someone from the community or church or something, that can write a letter of testing to her being a good and competent and loving parent that would be helpful.
Have her get a day planner where there’s room to write notes. Like a good old fashioned paper and pen day planner. However keep it back up in her phone calendar also. Have her write down the baby schedule what she’s doing with the baby. What doctors she sees with the baby what appointments she went on even things like walked to the park took a library class did tummy time for half hour etc. When she meets with the law guardian she can go through and say this is how I spend my time with the baby she likes to do tummy time about this long we have a routine that we stick by she eats at this time goes for a walk at this time etc. Not only is this accountability for her being cared for but it shows that she’s establishing a routine and ripping her away from that would be detrimental. do not have her go in there and make accusations against him that are unfounded or emotional. Make sure everything that she says is true and have her explain it calmly. Same thing when she defends herself. Make him look like the immature one. Simply explain that unfortunately he is aggressive and volatile and vindictive and he is using his child as an instrument in his volatile argument. Explain that you guys just want what’s best for the baby you don’t want to participate in the trauma but obviously he’s forcing the issue.
Also I would consider getting an air tag and sewing it into something that they wouldn’t easily replace. Perhaps the car seat? Most people won’t go out and buy an entire new car seat for their house they just have a base usually in the car seat goes from one car to the next. If you’re able to get an air tag and somehow so it into the hood of the car seat, then you would always have a GPS location on the baby. I wouldn’t do something with audio because it certainly be seen as a violation of privacy but simply tracking the whereabouts of your minor child who can’t communicate while enthralled in a custody battle is very reasonable. Good luck
Best advice I have is for her to document every single thing and to go after a good attorney.
Document everything!!
Get a copy of the police report where he left her on the side of the road with the baby. See if she will move in with you to establish a safe residence. As far as her not letting him see the baby, she can counter with him not contacting her to make arrangements to see the baby. The judge will go with what is in the best interests of the child. Make sure you appear to provide the most stable home possible. It would be a good idea to get an attorney and to document all further contact. Make sure contact goes through attorney or it is through text message so it can be screenshot and saved. Get all police reports you can.
No more verbal contact email or text only. Save EVERYTHING. Take pictures. Record any pic up and drop off. Any past PROOF you have of abuse or destructive behavior you’re going to want to submit as a response to their petition
one thing you have is the police show the report about how they brought your daughter home with the baby, after the father left her on the side of the road also get children services to make a report showing that where you live is safe for the child, you need to document everything. Do not give up also you may need to involve the child’s doctor to show that there is no neglect, I went through this because of my sister trying to take my daughter away from my husband and myself. When children’s aid showed up after she called and said I was neglecting my child and my husband was abusing her the truth came out that she wanted my daughter because she was the one grandchild that my parents wanted, you may or should contact a lawyer and bring forth a petition asking for court order child support and then he and his mom may back down
The likeliness of her losing custody is none… she should have proof of a police officer driving her and her infant from the side of the road. And she needs to cut him off completely including visitation and do it thru court after requiring anger management and parenting classes on his side. He sounds like a wiener… but sounds like his mom is cool with it. That baby doesn’t deserve it.
What hes saying is just accusations. He needs to prove it first. I would look into getting an attorney. Start gathering documentation of what she has. Ex: photos, videos, recordings, texts (timestamp and date), emails, messages on fb/tiktok/instagram/Twitter. Etc. Also, you MUST get a report of the time the police were involved. If there were more, great- get those too. Depending on how long the incident happened with her windshield, she still may have time to press charges and even get an order of protection. This would be great and could help better protect her and the child. It’s obvious his intent was to harm her and was willing to break a windshield to get to her. His physical aggression will only worsen with time. It’s best she understands that too. However, your daughter MUST be willing to go through the whole process. Because she is going to be the one filing the paperwork and setting things in motion. It is very overwhelming and at one point I even questioned myself if it was the best thing to do. I had my friend with me and she had to talk to me because i almost didn’t go through with it. It’s a scary feeling and your daughter is going to need your whole support and understanding. As mothers we want to protect our children and sometimes we end up lecturing instead of listening. Try your best to listen. Also, look into your state about recordings. You can download a recording app to record his phone conversations. In my state it is legal to do so, but you MUST follow state laws. So look into that. It saved my butt on one occasion. Just start documenting, continue to care for and love your grandbaby and daughter like always, and stay strong. You both got this. 
Get a good solicitor
Sounds like y’all have a case against him and going to court might bite him in the ass. Unless they got cps involved and have legit evidence baby is in a unsafe environment the judge isn’t going to take word of mouth.
They have to have proof and prove your daughter unfit and it sounds like they are not gonna have no proof and as long as she has a safe home, food in her fridge, a nice bed for the baby to sleep in, then everything should be fine and actually it’s his word against hers. Since they’re not married, I’d highly suggest she go down immediately to file for a restraining order for what he’s done to her and then she can also get temporary custody. She needs to not talk to him or his mother at all!!
Go to the court seek emergency full custody, get an attorney, Document everything,
Is he on the bc? Has he filed for visitation? Does he pay child support? If he’s not the child’s legal father she doesn’t have to let him see the baby. It won’t count against her. Same if he’s on the bc & pays child support but doesn’t have a court order. If that’s the case I recommend her moving as far as possible & cut off contact. Remember she can’t be held to an order that doesn’t exist.
Has he actually filed for custody or just threatening to? Men & grandparents threatening to steal kids is a common control tactic. If they haven’t filed do nothing except keep record of all threats, behaviors. If they have filed hire a lawyer.
She needs to document everything he will only get worse and will end up hitting her. Get a good lawyer prove he’s violent and unstable and get a restraining order. Tell her to pull her head out he’s never going to change. Please take it from someone with experience
No matter what is said back and forth he still has a bid for custody if paternity is resolved. They have a good chance of getting visitation.
Sorry but he has the right to have his child just as much as your daughter does. Best bet is 50/50 . Normally when a father does this it means mum is denying him alot of his rights and access
Document everything save every receipt anytime she talks to him or he comes to see the baby have somebody there besides mom and Grandma therefore you have a witness to go to court have cameras that way you can record conversations and show his actions that way if he shows any violence towards Mom it’s recorded is he paying child support or giving any money towards anything for the child so if Mom or Grandma buys anything for that baby save those receipts most of all get a good lawyer
But you have proof on your side ,the kicked in windshield do you have pictures ,get in touch with the officer that gave your daughter and baby a ride and get a report from him .any and all nasty texts from him / and his mother .they just won’t take the baby they will come and inspect her housing and do a investigation first .
She better have that cop that helped as Witness in family court… at the least… how you can get a lawyer… they are expensive… best wishes
Truthfully, you really don’t need much. He’s the one who has to prove all that. If it’s not true, then he can’t prove it. You have nothing to worry about. Any texts between them needs to be printed and taken with you.
He has to prove all that he is accusing. Also have proof and document everything. Even if it’s a journal about what he has done written by your daughter and you write one that is what you have seen him do.
Get a lawyer. Tomorrow
From a mom’s perspective you can only be there for your daughter and the baby. She’s an adult now. The baby and her should be your first priority. Maybe take a step back from the situation. Your daughter has a mind of her own and no matter what you say and DO it’s up to her.
Fight him. There’s no proof they will see that. Save all Messages from him. You take as much information as you can too!
First off relax. It’s a tactic they’re using to scare you. She would have to be in bad shape to get her baby taken. Make sure the environment is good and y’all will be good. They’ll probably work out a visits schedule for you guys. Babies aren’t ripped from their mamas that easy. Show proof of him being dangerous and mean, get an order of protection. Don’t worry, she’ll be ok 
You document or get the existing documents for everything. If she has text messages of him refusing to come see the baby print those, with time stamps, and bring those in. Show pictures or even video of the home.
That being said. He does have a right to see his child. Going to court isn’t always a bad thing when a mutual agreement is placed. You do have to have everything in the agreement. Even right down to how far the baby can travel (out of state, not out of state, within an hours drive, etc). Once a mutual agreement has been filed, both parents have to adhere to it.