My daughters baby daddy is taking her to court: Help!

All of that is going to go against him

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You counter-sue !!! If a police officer gave her a ride home, start there. If there are pictures of the car damage, include it. Everything he hasn’t done * include it. Get witness statements. YOU ARE GOING TO COURT whether you like it or not. Get Prepared !!

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Tell her go see a lawyer apply for custody

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If he has no proof or documentation of child neglect or abuse, then he has no case. However, if your daughter also does not have any proof of child neglect or abuse from the babies father, the courts may decide on a parenting plan and he will definitely be granted partial custody. So, if you do in fact believe he is dangerous, make sure you record all of the proof so that his visitation could possibly be monitored

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She needs to get herself a lawyer and file for day to day care without notice

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You go to court and sing like a canary, dont let the lawyers talk you out of it. He left the baby on the side of the road, they are sick people.

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Find the cop that gave her a ride and see about a report. Get what ever documents she can get a hold of and have ready to show judge, dont waste judge’s time with hearsay show physical proof. I would call CPS and have them come over to check out baby’s living space and get report from them.

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You take all of that information and let it out at court! He won’t have a leg to stand on with all that against him and no proof of those allegations

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If he says conditionals are unsafe, they will come check out the house and find there is no claim. She should be able to get a statement from the police officer stating he had to drive her home. Just tell her….make sure the house is clean, there is food in the house, the baby has its own bed with clean bedding and clean mattress, there is electricity, running water and heat. No drugs in the house. Also, make sure all outlets are covered and if anything that can fall on baby, make sure it’s fastened to the wall. They will not take the baby unless there is proof of abuse, neglect or drugs.

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Communicate via messages only so she can show proof to judge. Start saving all proof, purchases, messages, police reports, etc. They can say w.e. about living conditions, but if it’s not true it doesn’t matter.

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Get a lawyer, document every thing and consider letting social services do a home check of your home. Don’t give them the child until a custody order is in place because they won’t have to give the child back. I’ve been there and done that.

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Go get an attorney IMMEDIATELY. Ask them what your daughter needs to do and your daughter must do it. Document EVERYTHING. Keep every text between your daughter and the baby daddy. His mom’s texts as well if she has any. Find out if your state is a one person consent state to record conversations. If it’s legal there record every single phone call between them and every interaction. The officer is a witness as well since he picked her up after she was dumped out. Keeping all records and documenting everything are weapons you can use against them in court. Keep a record of when he sees the child and where. Keep a record of any money he gives your daughter. If he doesn’t help financially that needs to be noted as well. I don’t mean to offend you or your daughter but she needs to be a mother that the court would approve of. No slip ups or partying. No drugs or drinking. Her life needs to be free of any negative influences that could be considered neglectful or dangerous to a baby. It sounds like his mom wants that baby so get ready to fight. DO NOT WAIT to get legal representation. The time is now. Your daughter needs to listen to the attorney. If she doesn’t she could lose her baby. It’s that important! She doesn’t know everything and better wake up. The baby daddy does not love her. That’s obvious. Time for her to straighten up, act like an adult and fight for her child.

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Proof always speaks.

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Some sort of man. I would be getting a lawyer because there’s no way he’d be coming anywhere near my baby.

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All that matters to the court is money!!! Make sure you have a damn good lawyer!

Document everything and get an attorney

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That’s all he said she said. The court is gonna want what’s best for the child. If you have proof of him kicking in the car windshield and proof where the cop had to bring her home because he wouldn’t will help y’all show he’s a danger to the kid

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I think his mother is in here reading all this there’s alot of wows and angry faces if this is your son doing this he needs to man up and stop playing games because he won’t win where it concerns a mum and her baby been there done that!!!.. please stop panicking he won’t get the baby tell your daughter she will be fine and stay calm he’s the aggressor xx

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I absolutely agree with everyone elses comments.just do the right thing I’d seek a lawyer first.

Keep a journal. Everything he does, every contact she has with him. Times, dates, and pics if available. Get a statement from the cop that drove her home.

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My first suggestion is record all phone calls and try to only communicate it writing via text or email so you have evidence of conversations,
Write a chronological list of everything, phone calls texts, incidents of physical/verbal/emotional//psychological/financial abuse and threats or coercive control. And anything else he has done as described above. Get some support services involved so they can support ur case that there is no risk to the child and a good living situation environment. And would report everything to police and stop seeing him. I would suggest supervised visits as an option as it provides a safe environment and they provide the reports for behaviour if visits happen at all because he may not show up. You need to be able to refute any allegations made and hold him accountable for his actions which are unacceptable and all family violence to child and mother. Seek some legal advice. I would focus on the risk to the child given the fathers behaviour.

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Gather all the evidence from.thise events that you can. Texts, pictures, police reports, anything! Even the smallest thing can be helpful to you. Any messages between her and him or you and her about him, literally anything can help. Nothing is too little to leave out. I hope that it works out!

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You need to be talking to a good lawyer to go against them

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Keep all text and phone calls . Everything he foes and says. Record

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Have her move away and never talk to them ever again

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Tell her to get a parenting order. It’s all a game to some sadly.

He has to go to court with proof. It’s very hard to prove some kind of neglect when there is none let alone take a child away from the mother period. Just because his mother wants to get involved doesn’t mean they will get what they want. Wish you luck.

If he left her and baby on the side of the road and a cop had to drive them home, I’d say this is going to be easy.
Record everything in a journal, dates, times, keep records of all communication and lawyer up.
My granddaughter is having similar problems, she’s 19, man 28? 6 kids and married. DNA says 99% his kid, he told the judge, 1% is not his.judge gave her full custody, child support, he has supervised visits. He will hang himself in court, they always do!

Documentation of all these things!!

No phone calls texts only and only in regards to the child… No visits until court is done unless judge states otherwise… Record take screenshots…etc You want proof of his reckless behavior…

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DO NOT LET HIM HAVE THE CHILD OR SEE THE CHILD TILL COURT for safety of your own child but, also safety of the baby.

Collect your own evidence, speak to a lawyer and you can also organise your own wellness check with CPS or Police where one of their agents can view the house and leave their note on the condition of the house. Contact the Police Officer that had to pick her up on the side of the road, they would have had to document (fill out paper work) themselves.

If they make false accusations with no proof then, depending on the judge he would lose custody all together or only have strict supervised visitations so don’t fret about what they say if they will have no proof of it.

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Document everything. Every missed visitation, every bump and bruise on returning home from a visit, and the child’s mood upon seeing him and returning from a visit, and most importantly anything violent directed to anyone in the family. They will not take a child from the family they’ve been raised with unless there’s a reason. Make sure your house is clean, no hazards, food in the refrigerator. i wish your family all the best

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I agree with everyone also get a lawyer

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First thing get the name of the Police Officer that took her and baby home to get a sworn statement for the courts. Your daughter will have to show he is unfit as a parent you need to get all the dirt on the family and use it but only with proof. Dirty I know but they opened that door. Does he pay child support if not that to can be used against him. If his name is not on the birth cert he has no claim. Get a lawyer they are able to do searches you can’t about the family plus your daughter can apply for legal aide, but I suggest you get one that can start straight away legal aide take to long they have a large work load.

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She needs to start pressing charges when he does things. And if it was your car you need to press charges. You can’t let stuff go because it helps prove your case. Get a lawyer to help her.

First… I know you want to help but SHE needs to take the lead on this. If she is unwilling to report these incidents as they occur, then she may lose custody. It is he said, she said without proof and he may be collecting reports to use against her. Get a lawyer, let her help pay for it. I was 18 when I had my first daughter, it was a huge wake up call that I needed to put on my big girl panties. She is lucky to have you to guide her but empower her to become the mom she needs to be.

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All the above advice and tell her to stop going to him or with him in the car until the custody case. Get legal advice and tell your daughter to NOT leave the baby with him & his mother. They could refuse to give back the child. A womens refuge will give her & prob you great advice. Keep a journal and correspond refrences with screen shots where possible. Write it with an ink biro not pencil to have credence in court. Texts only don’t talk to him on the phone. Good luck. :green_heart:

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Document everything and I mean everything! Cop had to take her home good then the cop can support her on his bad behavior. You got text msgs save them print them. You have proof of the windshield incident bring it. Have her lawyer petition for her to have emergency full custody due to fear of harm being done to her an/or the child. Video everything. Record everything. The more you document the better off you will be. When court day comes have pictures to show the home that the baby is in is fit an stable an clean.

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Just keep documentation of everything.

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She needs a lawyer and no visitation until there is a court order.

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He can say all the threats he wants, but he needs proof. Judges choose what is best for the child and usually that is working towards 50/50

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My ex tried this crap but he called dcs on me and made a bunch of false accusations which were dropped straight away as there was no proof of such. He then took off with her on a scheduled visit and refused to give her back to me, she missed the first week of school (she was 5, turning 6 five months later) I took it to court and got her back and they gave me full time with him having every fortnight from Friday to Sunday and one week of the school holidays… Butttt we have to go back to court next month which is 6 months after the first court hearing… To see what’s going to happen now but I’m assuminggggg it’ll stay the same cause she’s been going to school, she’s healthy and thriving and we’ve not had anyone called on us again as I’d they tried it’d look bad on them again… I could be wrong but I highly doubt it as she’s lived with me since birth and myself and her father broke up a few months before her first birthday so this is what she’s used to and she’s well looked after!

Don’t stress too much… Idk where you’re located as it may be different there but unless your daughter is on drugs or abusing your grandchild and they’re living in a unsafe environment then you would have something to worry about but if that’s not the case then I doubt anything will come out of it for the ex other than visitation rights! Though I have heard of some cases where the dad doesn’t work between school drop off and pick up and is able to take the child to school and they live close enough to do so then they may get half custody although I think half custody stuffs with the child as they don’t feel like anywhere is actually home :confused: so I’d get legal advice if I were your daughter. Also don’t talk badly on the ex or it’ll look bad on you only state what you have proof on like if he’s working and won’t be able to take child to school or watch them during the day (depending on the age of the child) and would have to have someone else watch their child… Only bring up stuff that affects the care of the child and that the courts will have proof on.

The police officer will verify he had to pick her up n drive her home.

As others have said, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!
Even back date things where possible and u can remember approximate dates and places.

GET LEGAL ADVICE ASAP regarding him seeing the child.
If he wants to see child, Just tell him you’re getting legal advice about this matter.
Don’t elaborate or give in to his badgering questions

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Laywer up and from now on she needs to keep all texts, calls even videos documented. She also needs to report any damages or threats he does towards her… and get the officer that picked her up to right up a report…

get a good lawyer and have everything documented for when you go see him with your daughter. Also, your daughter’s address, go thru her apt and take pic’s, then who she has as a babysitter. Have all your ducks in a row. Show your lawyer everything and then set up a court date if he hasn’t gotten one.

Keep records and make copies of all messages or interactions he’s had with her with dealing with the child. Get into from the officer who took her home when he left her and the child on the road. Find a lawyer to help with everything. Most likely when they take her to court there will be a guardian appointed to the child and possibly mediation to see what could be agreed on. Any time he wants to see the child make sure it’s done some place public or even outside the police department. Most of the time there needs to be proof not just hear say. That’s why they usually appoint a person in the courts for the child and they will check homes, people etc to see what is in the best interest for the child. If there was visitation set up when the child was born you must follow what it says. If he refuses to take child on his days make sure to keep that documented.

Well if he left her on the side of the road with the baby and a cop had to take them home because he wouldn’t she has proof of him being neglectful on his part tell her if she has messages videos anything from them where she’s tried to get him to visit keep all that documentation she can use it in court they have to prove her unfit a judge isn’t just gonna snatch her baby from her because of she said he said they have to prove her an unfit mother tell her take pics of the home food in the house water running pics of the baby with no abuse marks do it all to prove them wrong and make them eat their words and I would be going after child support it wouldn’t even be him taking care of the baby if he doesn’t wanna do it now it would be his mom so she is probably the one pushing the situation good luck🙏

Get an attorney. They do t Fahd babies away from moms just like that.

File charges every time it’s necessary and try to have communication only Thru text or email. Document everything. Everything said, any visits, missed visits, times, dates everything. Even if it seems small ir irrelevant, document it. If you do communicate in person, try to have a witness present.

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Get an attorney that handles child custody cases ASAP. You never want to go for custody without an attorney and the child will be granted a GAL that will figure out the truth from the lies.

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They have to prove it! If there is no proof then it is hear say! Family judges know the deal when it comes to he said she said! Did the father ever call child protective services? Was there an investigation? Was it unfounded? And if he didn’t call and suspects it…then he is negligent!

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keep a record of everything

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He does not want this baby it’s his mother who is behind all this

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Write everything down today before you forget. Get a lawyer and make sure she doesn’t spend any time with him or go anywhere alone with the baby. Been there. If you stop engaging with any of them they will go away. Mom, him, any other relatives. They will give up if you give them nothing to engage with or argue about.

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Steps to take:

Only communicate via text or email. It’s a digital record.

Keep a calendar of when he does or doesn’t show up to visit. Calendars and journals are admissible in court hearsay is not. Write it down!

Make sure your home is CLEAN and organized and that your child’s space is child proofed.

Make sure doctors visits are up to date so he can’t claim neglect.

Most importantly when you get to court DO NOT SPEAK UNLESS YOU ARE SPOKEN TO BY THE JUDGE/ MAGISTRATE! Wear appropriate clothing and address the court with yes ma’am/sir no ma’am/sir. If you can retain a lawyer that is your BEST bet. Limit communications with BD and DO NOT engage in arguments or fights with him. He will try to bait you and use it against you.

Ask family not to communicate with him in any way!!!

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Keep records of literally everything, messages phone calls pictures of proof when he sees his child so they can’t say otherwise ect. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. If he left her and baby on the side of the road and she was escorted by an officer home get him to testify.

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Document everything. Take pictures of everything. Keep all receipts. Write when he visits and when he doesn’t. If he comes alone. Don’t let him know anything about your plans.

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Would like to hear the other side of this. He obviously has some reason to feel like he’s does. Is your daughter really the angel you think she is?

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Document everything,need a good lawyer you can rust never give up any rights,not one fight him in legal system let him learn the hard way he can not run over you!

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Honestly if they don’t have actual evidence, they basically look at is as lying to make the other parent look bad and they don’t have the child’s best interest, keep record of everything and have her start making reports, taking cops name and badge numbers especially if she has the child with her because they can easily take the baby from her for child endangerment, even though he’s doing it but she’s also not doing anything to prevent it by not reporting it. They will ask her why she didn’t for the sake of the child. Was in an abusive relationship and they asked me that but since I went and filed and reported. Even though he just got anger management classes and I was told to get therapy but it always varies on the judges you get. Most important thing is evidence and if child is involved always make a report so it doesn’t fall back on her for not doing something for the child.

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Keep a record of everything, get a lawyer, and then watch him make a fool of himself at court

With no proof not getting far and his mother won’t even be allowed In the courtroom unless the judge needs character witnesses which in turn she has u as well… court gets ugly but hopefully justice will be in the child’s ultimate best interest! Good luck ! get a lawyer! Also keep texts and social media in mind for court on both ends be careful cross your t’s and dot your I’s even the slightest thing can be turned and used against or for one another in court.

You must get an attorney. If you can’t afford one, contact your local legal aid division. Lawyers have to complete a certain number of pro bono hours, so she could get assistance at a discount or free.

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I hope the cop that drove her home will testify. Document everything. Copy of text and voice conversation if you can.

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Hopefully there will be a case study done. Also the cop who drove her home can give testimony. Just an idea. Good luck. Don’t give up. Remember you love your daughter unconditionally and your new grand baby too

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Soooo he kicked in her car window and you have a police report, I’m assuming?! Hellooo, use that! Of both instances?! :woman_facepalming:t2:

His mother wants a replacement baby. Look up your state’s grandparent rights. BD will likely get 50/50 custody, but most likely your daughter will keep primary physical placement. Without proof, the courts aren’t just going to take her baby away.

If she has evidence proving their accusations wrong then they can’t do a thing! If she also has proof of his behaviour that’ll also go in her favour.

Everything needs to be documented. Make sure messages are kept and whatever else

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Be very careful if he is around the baby or in your home.He can walk out with the baby and you don’t want a power struggle.
I’d first start with mediation as this is what courts prefer first.They could be bluffing with the courts.
Get your daughter to start mediation through interrelate.This shows she isn’t trying to alienate dad.
Don’t let her pull out though as he will get a certificate for court.If he pulls out or threatens etc she’ll get a certificate to proceed with the courts

  1. GET A LAWYER
  2. Listen to the lawyer and not a bunch of strangers on the internet

Being one of those strangers on the internet, I can say most of us have the best of intentions and sincerely want to help. But, with a contentious child custody battle you really want to have someone who is qualified AND who knows all of the particulars in your state and in your circumstances.
Use forums like this for emotional support, strength, etc. but I would caution you to be careful about what you and your daughter post online because depending on HOW contentious it gets, things can certainly be taken out of context. (Yeah- that sounds like “advice” from a stranger on the internet. I guess we can’t help it). A lot of us responding to this post have probably been through something similar so I guess it’s just difficult not to share our experiences and lessons learned. Read them and even use them to raise questions FOR YOUR LAWYER. Yes, it can get expensive and I know from personal experience it can be an extremely difficult expense but- at least in my experience- was the best investment I ever made.
Most courts won’t take a child from mom without proving she’s unfit. Your daughter would be wise to just be the best mom she can be and it sounds like she has family support, which is important. I agree with everyone who says to document everything. But please, get a lawyer!
If, for some reason dad (and his mother) don’t take her to court, I would still suggest seeing a lawyer and having a custody agreement drafted so your daughter is not living with this threat going forward

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DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT AND DOCUMENT! Everytime he doesn’t show, DOCUMENT. Everytime something happens, DOCUMENT. Every phone call, DOCUMENT. If they come to the house, DOCUMENT. If you see them out and about, DOCUMENT!!! Make sure to mark the date, time and have a full timeline and detail of every interaction. If there are texts, DO NOT DELETE. Doesn’t matter if your daughter is an angel or not! DOCUMENT

That last statement is enough.get paperwork from police that picked her up. And from now on anything he do or don’t do keep a record and go to court. You said all is a lie so no need to worry… and while you are waiting file for child support. And make sure she has full custody. I know it’s something you sign when baby born I think.
When you start talking child support…makes like that step back . Tell your daughter no communication till court but if she does record and keep records of every negative actions he makes

Pictures and text messages or email are your best bet. After that, certified mail for other correspondence.

You need proof of the abuse. Police statement, video, anything…

Get a lawyer.

Stay calm around him no matter how mad he makes you or her.

Get an attorney have the cop that picked her up come to the hearing. Keep daily records of all contact with the father. He may get visiting rights and she may have to have a neutral place to exchange the child at. Do everything y the book. If he misses his visits document it, have her file for child support if she hasn’t already keep accurate records of everything that is spent on the child. Good luck to you.

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Get that police report!!! Most of it is hear say but with that police report you have something to stand on. I was 18 in court with my ex and his mom was there supporting him all the time. I walked in alone stood my ground. And thankfully ended up with full custody and dad was granted visitations. You can do it!

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If he goes to court with these claims they will probably send someone to the house such as cps to make sure everything is fine. In the meantime she should petition the court for full custody as well. Even when filing for custody automatically cps comes to the home to make sure all is good so if someone comes because of his claim you’re already ahead of the game.

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You are worrying over nothing…If your daughter is a good Mom…don’t worry about it…The judge will weigh it all out…

All i would advice is never give up even when it looks like you don’t stand a chance cz it wont be easy eventually wether it happens in a quick second or in 10years as long as she stands tall keeps fighting the right way in family court it will happen as a mum just u cant fight ur daughter’s battles jst stand beside her comfort n support her

Wish u guys all the best n if u guys do win dont cut the father out of his childs life as pay back do right by ur lil one cz every child deserves both there parents aslong as they want to be there

Same problem baby daddy is in jail second felony-his mother threatened my daughter left letter in her car …I gave her money to pay a lawyer.

Get a lawyer. Keep ever text message email picture anything u have and print it out for the courts get the copy of the call to the police when she was left with her child… See if that officer will wright a statment stating he had to pick up your aughter and infant and give them a ride. Keep all evidence u have… Take pictures of the home where the baby lives so you can counter his climes with actual pictures or videos

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Get a statement from the cop and you show up!

Not sure where you are but different states have different laws… Get an attorney.(most will take payments…do your own footwork,any accusations they are saying, try and find something to prove it’s untrue. make sure your house is clean and plenty groceries, (milk)running hot water, keep it that way & keep yourselves in a respectful manner.,Any proof of wrongs on their part, needs to be proven and brought up, especially him leaving her and baby on side of road,get policeman name and the report…I’ve been through this crap with sorry as liars to many times.Hope this helps…Best of wishes :blush:

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They’re going to want cop statements.

Start making a paper trail of the abuse.