My daughter will be 3 in 3 months, has been in underwear since last August. Recently at daycare, she has been having frequent accidents, mainly pooping ones, so they want her back in pull-ups. At home she is 100% potty trained, I don’t even tell her to go she sends herself for pee and poop. Even if we go out in public, she tells me I have to go potty, and we go. Daddy is deployed, and we are expecting number 2 in 2 months, so I feel like it’s her wanting to be a baby again, and I feel like a pull-up is not going to help but makes things worst. Any suggestions? Did your children go through this? Did pull-ups help?
I would find another daycare. If you’re not consistent with underwear, she is going to be extremely confused.
Find a better day care as they should be helping toilet training not going back wards
Sounds like the daycare is the problem not your kiddo.
I discovered when it comes 2 poop some kids need privacy and that could be a problem there.my son couldn’t make a poo if someone was around,looking,waiting 4 him 2 do it
Gotta be the daycare
I would find a different day care… how dare they degrade your daughters develipment and want to put her back out of pure laziness… thats all it is… instead of asking her every 10-15 mins woukd she like to try they would tather her take a step back n be back in nappies… i dont think so that is not acceptable… i worked in a nursery for 10 years and would never even suggest that especially after it being nearly a year she is trained for. Xx
Due in two months, my daughter started regressing too. She’s stopped and we’re moved onto night time training. I would get a new daycare, they should know you have to be consistent, or they do and don’t give a fuck cause they don’t want the clean up.
change your daycare! kids express themselves is very different ways something is not right if she is having accidents at daycare but not anywhere else!
No to pull ups the daycare needs to step up. Have the talk every day and make sure THEY take her to potty. Im sure she’s playing and doesnt want to stop having fun. But no way I’d put pull ups back on a 3 yr old who is doing fine at home because the daycare doesnt remind her to go potty and stay and sit to poo
Tell daycare to deal with it and take her to bathroom often! Don’t go back to pull ups or she will just regress and you will have 2 in diapers! Daycare is your problem!
No you should find another daycare, they should be assisting in potty training !
Day care sounds awful!! Switch, they should support you with whatever you’re doing at home.
I work at a daycare and this is very common for kids this age. They get busy playing and don’t really want the hassle of stopping to go potty. We would never suggest to put a baby back in pull-ups if they’ve been trained for so long. I would say it’s probably difficult to keep up with her changing with a classroom full of other children, but with Covid they have way less children than normal! Don’t go backwards or lower your expectations for your daughter to go potty. Switch daycares if you’d like or see if they will set a schedule to send her potty more frequently instead of waiting for her to ask. If they aren’t willing to work with you they are probably just being lazy and you should find a new daycare which will be difficult during this time because we all have limited openings. Good luck
My daughter with pull ups didnt work because it just felt like a diaper. Either a new daycare or they need to take her potty more often. Something doesnt make sense if she has no accidents when shes home with you
Id tell them no and to send her for more frequent potty breaks because shes fine at home so maybe shes just distracted
Seems to me that putting her back in the pull-ups will just set her back and confuse her. Daycare needs to be persistent in getting her to the bathroom every couple of hours to avoid an accident.
I would maybe try to figure out why she’s only doing it at daycare, like is something going on at the daycare, not so much a new baby, that’s bothering her. I wouldn’t have her back track
No I feel like she may be too shy to ask to be taken to the potty or maybe doesn’t want to ask them.
First, I’d try to ask her why she had poop accidents. See what she says. Also, totally could be that she doesn’t want to break away from any fun to go potty when she feels it. Are you able to explain to her that she will wear pull-ups at school but that’s just in case and she still needs to get to the potty on time and not ignore her body when it’s telling her she has to go. Honestly I find explaining things out even with a child at that age really helps the most.
Can you send yer in underwear and when she does have an accident they can put her in a pull up if they feel the need? Its not like they are the ones doing the laundry
Definitely question whether she is getting the attention she needs from the staff. It sounds like they are ignoring her needs. Maybe check out other daycares. Since you are a military wife some daycares give discounts,.
Find another school, the teachers are lazy and don’t want to take her/forgets to take her to the restroom.
At that age even tho my kids were potty trained I put them in pull ups anytime they weren’t home. I don’t see anything wrong with it. My kids didn’t regress and if they had an accident it saved their clothes.
Sometimes when kids are busy having fun they try to hold it and often have accidents.
They could also be shy. They are not confident to say it to their teachers.
Honestly the daycare has the right to not accept her until fully potty trained. At least they are giving the option to go back to pull ups rather than kicking her out completely. She might just need a little more time.
It could be that something happened in the restroom?
My son doesn’t like using the school restroom cause kids would peek or open the door (they don’t have locks)
I can understand your concern. But I work at a preschool and if they have more than 3 accidents in their underwear they have to be put in pull-ups until the issue resolves. Having anywhere from 8-12 kids alone and having one that continually poops on themselves is very difficult. Also when kids are at daycare it is very different than at home. Kids get busy and forget to tell a teacher. I wouldn’t say it has anything to do with the child not getting enough attention.
It’s regression. It will get worse when the new baby comes. I’ve gone through this twice with my oldest when my middle and youngest came along. Daycare isn’t that great at potty breaks and sometimes kids are too busy playing to want to stop to go to the potty. Just encourage her that it’s okay to stop what she’s doing to let her teacher know she needs to potty.
As someone who works with young children. If the staff are doing all they can, with the number of children they have in their care, I would highly recommend you sending her in pull ups, it would be appreciated. I’m sure they will do their best to encourage the potty training behavior and work together with the regression, however it is not their job to potty train and you are putting the staff members and the children in the classroom at hygiene risks by having feces and urine in the classroom.
The daycare should be 100% doing what mom requests. I worked in a daycare for many years, I would always fallow the lead of the parents. Sounds like she needs more potty breaks, put her on the potty every 15 minutes if needed. Start a reward system at daycare that carries over to home. It is normal for kids to regress in potty training. However, it is not normal for daycare providers to request pull ups in my opinion…
My niece did the same thing, she wouldn’t stop playing long enough to go to the bathroom! She ended up wearing pull-ups at daycare and head start and underwear at home. She never digressed with this option, however every kid is different! Definitely explain it to her. Hope it works out for ya!
From past experience it sounds more like something is causing the behavior change at daycare. Maybe take her to pediatrician sometimes little ones will tell dr what is happening. If she is 100% potty trained at home there is something not normal/comfortable at daycare. Good Luck mom!
Do they check with her to see if she needs the restroom? Sometimes little ones can be embarrassed to ask.
No why would you take steps back, if she potty trained like that, then it something the daycare isnt doing right, talk to your child then talk to the teacher
Sometimes the #2 accidents are stress related. Talk to her. One of mine was this way.
My daughter seemed to be to shy or embrassed to ask to go the toilet at her nursery she was potty trained for 6 months or so when she started having accidents at Nursery not with wees though just poo had a couple of meeting with them on what to none of it worked last resort was to put her back into pull ups she was highly insulted that I put her in them an from that day on shes not had an accident since!!!
I work in childcare if she is playing and having fun she’s not wanting to go. But it’s unsanitary for the other kids
They are glorified diapers my personal opinion but it could be the new baby that’s coming. One of my boys was potty trained until the new baby came and we had to start over
Pulls is really dispossable underwear explain this to her
Don’t let them be lazy tell them to sit her on the toilet every 2 hours
Something is going on at daycare
I would ask first if they can try to ask her more about going bathroom. Shes probably uncomfortable or distracted. Usually there are mandatory like potty breaks and adults forget to ask. Pull ups wouldnt be bad with it
No to pull-ups. Tell them to ask her frequently if she has to go potty or have her take potty breaks
Maybe something going on at daycare.
My daughter had something very similar happen. She was fully trained and then in daycare she started having small bowel movements in her pants. It was like small amounts were coming out because she was holding it. I spoke to my doctor because I didn’t want to confuse her by moving back to pull ups. He felt she wasn’t fully emptying her bowel. He recommended giving her a stool softener each night and then practice sitting her on the toilet each morning to empty her bowels before she left. Once she started to become more regular I would only give her the softener once a week. It worked like magic for her. She told me that her “poops didn’t hurt anymore” and I realized that her stools were a bit too hard and that is why she was holding them until she couldn’t any more. I also started giving her more water each day, I thought she was getting enough because I gave her what I gave my son, but she needed more. This may be something to look into. Either way I hope this works out well for you.
My son used to do this and I had a disagreement with the pre-school moved him to a new one and he had no accidents, I think it was his way of saying he didn’t like it because he used to cry and now he just waves goodbye
The daycare probably isn’t taking her to the bathroom like they should be. If she goes to the potty at home like she should and doesn’t at school, it’s typically the school’s issue.
I understand the deployed/ baby coming thing because I’m in the same boat and have been there before but it really sounds like she is preoccupied with play and friends at daycare. It’s more of a sanitary issue for the daycare.
Regression since there is a new baby coming my son did this both times i was pregnant and his daddy being away can also add to that stress making him do it
First off take her to the dr to be sure it isn’t medical.
There’s a lot going on in her little world. Daddy’s deployed and you’re preparing for a new brother or sister to join her world. Don’t look at what’s acceptable or not, what’s progress or not … look at what works for your child to feel confident and be happy. For right now, pull ups will help her feel better, and will be less embarrassing for her than accidents. Potty training issues are one of those things that can affect a child for years to come. Let her tell you what she thinks will make her feel better, or what she’s ready for. Either way, show some understanding and encouragement, rather than punishing or scolding.
Years ago there was a doctor on the Good Morning America show, and he was addressing potty training issues. He said “98% of all college students are potty trained”. He went on to say that each child tackles it in their own time, in their own way. Encourage your child to let you know when they are ready to progress to the next step, and give a lot of positive reinforcement.
It’s not their choice. You shouldn’t put her in pull ups because it’ll reinforce reverting back to that behavior. Maybe doing some activities and giving her some special fun days so she sees that she’s not losing attention or love in any way could help her cope a little better but it’s not for the daycare to say that she needs to be back in pull-ups. That’s not their decision. Plus they should be educated on this and understand that it’s behavioral and not because she doesn’t know any better. There’s ways to positively reinforce potty time and get her on a schedule so she doesn’t have the chance to poop in her pants at daycare. My mom has her own day are and these are all things they’re trained to handle
No way! I personally feel like she would regress if she goes back. I work in child care. They are just being lazy and not taking her or she is embarrassed to go. Most daycares have other students in the same bathroom. Maybe suggest that she go by herself to try to poop every 2 hours or after each meal and snack.
They aren’t taking her to the bathroom enough.
Dont go back to pull ups id be pissed i work at a daycare thats laziness your supposed to encourage going more. Id be pissed ours we dont usually shut the door for potty trainers (twos) maybe have them try shutting the door(if thats the case there) idk do not go back to pull ups itll be confusing
Has there been changes at the daycare? Maybe like a new teacher. Could also be the new baby coming and her dad being deployed.
If she isn’t doing this anywhere but day care I would check them out. Something could be upsetting her there.
Maybe distracted, maybe uncomfortable there. Maybe something’s up. Dig deeper and good luck
I agree she may want the attention. But I’d also keep an eye on if the daycare is actually keeping up with her needs even if she doesn’t ask.
No way! That could set her back. She’s going to the toilet fine at home so why would you put her back in pull ups. Is she maybe too shy to ask to use the toilet at day care? Is there anything in the toilets like a hand dryer or something in there that she may be afraid of? Obviously it’s up to you but if she is not having loads of accidents at home or outside then I wouldn’t put her in pull ups when she’s been using the toilet for so long bless her.
As a long time daycare worker, this isn’t uncommon. Kids are 100% potty trained at home, but have accidents at daycare because they are distracted by their friends and all the stuff going on. Unfortunately her having accidents is unsanitary for the other kids and there isn’t the staffing needed to have a teacher out of class to change your daughters clothes and clean her up constantly. Putting her in pull-ups at school prevents the accidents from being a hassle, keeps things sanitary, and speeds up the cleanup process. There’s nothing wrong with putting her back in pull-ups at daycare for a while. The new baby doesn’t help either since a lot of kids experience regression when a new baby is coming into their lives.
She’ll get back to being 100% potty trained all the time even at daycare before you know it. Putting her in pull-ups again shouldn’t delay her progress.
If you have no problem at home. Then it has to be she is afraid to ask the teacher to let her go potty or afraid of asking in front of the other students. Also, maybe the teacher told her she couldn’t go until she says she can. Talk to the teacher and principal together.
I don’t think the staff can be bothered taking her the toilet to often easier putting her in pull ups but not for you lve seen this happen before
I understand your concern but with the pandemic going on, daycares are trying to take more precautions as is, if she’s having more frequent bathroom accidents even though it is an accident it poses sanitary risks, I understand your concern mama I know it’s tough but its great the daycare is giving you another option rather than just kicking her out that means they’re trying to work with you
It could be her wanting to be a baby again so she has your full attention once again
Definitely see what’s going on at daycare no pull ups as a preschool teacher of 5 years it only makes things worse to go back once they’ve been out of them and on top of that if she’s been out of them for longer than a year then she definitely doesn’t need to go back to them and that daycare obviously is not checking in every 20-30 minutes with its kids to make sure they have to poop or not especially after eating lunch it’s the daycares responsibility to make sure all the kiddos are getting adequate potty breaks also as a mom if she is going all by herself at home and in public and telling you at home then it’s not a home problem honey it’s a daycare problem love if they’re ignoring her when she says she has to go potty then that’s their fault as to why she’s having accidents and if heat the excuse of we can’t drop everything we are doing to make sure one student poops yes they actually can and we are required by law to make sure that they don’t have accidents on themselves because those can cause other health issues and I promise the daycare doesn’t want a lawsuit on negligence call that daycare and tell them they better get their s*** together and take better care of your child before they stop receiving your money and you pull her out love it’s a daycare problem not a home problem:heart:
My 4yo has been potty trained for over a year but refuses to use the potty at papas house, even if I’m there and force him to sit on the toilet. He says papas toilet is scary.
It could be just the fact of playing at daycare. Shes too preoccupied to notice she has to go. The daycare should be able to remind her to go. Ask if they will because you dont want to degress in the progress you have made
Regular toilet sits after meals and a reward chart can help. It’s a phase. The childcare usually put their dirty underwear in a bag for the parent to throw out or clean anyway.
Sounds like a regression due to stressors in her life right now. Have to remember kiddos experience stress just like we do but handle it differently. Possibly not a horrible idea to go back to pull ups for her own stress levels until baby arrives, daddy returns, and she finds her own new normal and sense of security. A lot of unknowns for her right now. You absolutely don’t want to refuse to work with the daycare and then she gets kicked out… just one more big stressful change she’d have to go through which works against you and her.
It probably will be worse if a pull up is on her. If she’s not having issues elsewhere then there may be something stressing her at the daycare. Behavior like this can indicate that. Not saying that’s what it is, just that it’s a possibility. It could be something as simple as a new staff member came in, or her favorite staff member is no longer there. It may be something stressing her. Talk to her. My kids at that age and still are expressive thru their choices. Makes it hard to figure out, but usually when I sit down with them they tell me. Talk to her and see. She’s the only one that knows why she’s doing it. She won’t tell if she feels scared to tell though.
Many daycares have requirements for age grouped rooms. Some require your child to be 100% potty trained before moving into a certain room or staying in that room. Sounds like regression but if she’s not going to go to the restroom, they shouldn’t have to change her dirty clothes/underwear multiple times a day especially when they have other children to tend to. Hope you figure it out
Maybe they aren’t paying enough attention to her at daycare. If she tells you when she has to go or takes herself, maybe they have so many kids that her requests aren’t received in the right way.? Makes me wonder
- Find a new daycare
- If she’s potty trained at home then ask her why she’s having accidents there. In reality they might not be helping her the way they should be.
- Talk to her about the new baby. Explain she’ll always be your baby too. N if she is doing it on purpose there’s no need bcuz ur proud of her for being potty trained
Sounds like the daycare isn’t letting her go potty.
Accidents may mean she’s holding it for too long. Could be her being uncomfortable going or getting too distracted playing with other kids.
I wouldn’t be putting her back in them that would send her backwards and if she is only doing it in daycare then there is a problem at daycare and they need to find out what it is and why it’s happening but I honestly wouldn’t do it my girl was potty trained and ended up really ill and had to get pull ups on and it sent her backwards and now I’m having to start all over again with her at home and nursery but they have been amazing in the nursery with encouragement so she has been doing really well again but defo speak to them and tell them it’s not happening and I want them to help u work out why it’s happening
Find a new daycare. Don’t go backwards because she will regress 100% and have to start over. Sounds like a behavioral issue honestly and if she’s verbal enough, ask her.
I understand why they need her in pull ups. It’s a health hazard if poop is getting everywhere. But at the same time maybe they should be taking the kids to the bathroom more. She is probably ignoring it and continues to play instead. It’s very common.
I mean, I would t clean up after a kid who poops everyday either. That being said, the need to remind this child to go potty! It happens sometimes when they are playing and don’t want to go. There is a solution, y’all just have to work together to find it. Maybe training underwear instead of pull-ups or panties?
I agree I am raising my granddaughter she’ll be 4 in dec and she has visits with her mother her dad is locked up has been all but 1 yr of her life and when her mother would make her talk to him she would have accidents so I ask the judge to stop the phone calls from him to her and he did but I still think she’s sneaking behind my back on her visits and letting him talk to her so now she has to come to my house and do her visits so I can monitor her
Either the daycare isn’t letting her go to the potty enough or maybe she’s distracted with all the kids and playing. My son had the same problem at daycare.
If she goes at home then maybe she’s too uncomfortable to poo at daycare. My twins were the same and refused to poo at kohanga so would wait til they got home to have 1 until one day they just couldn’t hold it in and ended up going while at kohanga. Since then they’re comfortable enough to go there now
Honestly, that would make sense if she was doing it at home to get your attention, but not at daycare. Sounds to me like there’s something going on at daycare that she’s doing that. I’d look into any changes the daycare may have made and ask her if she has fun at daycare, see if she has any complaints.
If she does it at home and not at daycare you might want to figure out what the peoblem is also. My son is fully potty trained and they wouldnt let him get up and go at snack or naptime so he had accidents. I put him in a different day and he had no problems.
I worked in an awful daycare where they only allowed the kids to go twice a day and they had to go all at once as a group. Many didn’t have to go and when they’d ask later they were told they should have went. Most of the 3 year olds there were still in diapers because of this. I only worked there 2 days before quitting because it was so awful (there were other issues as well). The second thing it could possibly be is constipation from holding it in. My 5 year old daughter had this issue. She was potty trained by 2 but started pooping herself at 5. She didn’t want to stop playing to poop and she’d get backed up. Then it would be too big to pass because it hurt. I had to take her to have several tests done before we figured this out. Had to give her miralax twice a day to keep her regular and make her sit on the toilet twice a day for 20 minutes to try and go.
I would talk to the daycare first and see if you can’t organize specific times that she could be asked if she has to go potty and reconfirm with her that she can go when she has to
Maybe the daycare is the problem and nothing to do with your daughter I don’t think she is doing because of the baby if it’s only happening at daycare
This used to happen to my son. I found out that he was scared to talk to the teacher so he held it in till he couldn’t anymore.
I find it bizarre that a day care would request that. It seems more like laziness on their part.
I’d take her out for a week and re potty train. If she’s going at daycare it’s to much for them to have to clean up after her at 3
Or they don’t listen when she says she has to go
You said she has been in undies since last august and she has just started having accidents now and only at day care? There has to be reason why it has started and only there? Have you asked her why she has started pooping in her pants at day care? Has someone like another child gone in while she was trying to go to the toilet and upset/scared or annoyed her and made her afraid or uncomfortable to go? There is an underlying reason here and it needs to be worked out, maybe speak to the day about how it only happens there and if they can help work out why it has started.
Do not bring pull ups for them. They need to start putting her on the potty more then. It’s pure laziness to want her back in pull ups if she has no issues at home
Nope, I wouldn’t. Maybe they aren’t listening to her about needing to go… Keep telling her that when she needs to go at day care. To tell one of the workers or just go to the toilet.
I had the same problem my son was embarrassed cos the toilets dont have doors and everyone can see he said maybe that’s the problem at daycare she may be shy to go infront of other ppl
Probably too busy playing with other kids not wanting to miss out.
She is having a hard time adjusting to the situation of being some where she is not comfortable…be patient…been there
Something is happening at daycare. You need to talk to her, she is feeling someway thêre has to be a problem. You need to gỡ and observe, change daycare, do something.
I wouldn’t be sending her back to that day care something is wrong there