My daughters do not appreciate anything they have: What can I do?

My daughters don’t take care of anything that belongs to them, and I don’t know what to do. My daughters are 7 and 8. This past Christmas, my husband and I spent thousands on gifts for them. Hoverboards, a dollhouse, bikes, the HUGE packs of Lol Omg dolls, a basketball hoop, and just so much more. We’ve never been able to do anything that big for Christmas before, and we were so excited to see their faces Christmas morning. We just wanted to make it special because we’ve all been locked up for a year because of COVID. We just wanted them to have options here at home to stay active and not be bored out of their minds all the time. But they don’t take care of any of it. I’ve found LOL doll’s heads lying around. One broke a tablet she got for Christmas, and the stuff just isn’t taken care of. I mean, we worked so hard and sacrificed A LOT to make that Christmas happen-we were more than happy to. But now their birthdays are coming up on the 16th and 26th of this month. But I’m really to the point I don’t want to buy them anything other than an outfit and a pair of shoes or something. I’ve tried talking to my daughters about why it’s important to take care of their things, I’ve tried threatening to throw things away, I’ve even taken stuff away and put it in my closet and told them that if they want it back, they have to start taking care of all this stuff. I told them I wouldn’t be getting them anything for their birthdays because of this behavior, and they sobbed. I don’t want to raise kids that become brats and spoiled. But I feel like we’re making a B Line in that direction? What would you guys do in this situation?

65 Likes

A thousand dollars on two kids???

1 Like

Take them out on birthday and Xmas to deliver presents to street people instead…see a different side of life

46 Likes

Take it all away and make them earn it back. If they dont learn now they will have to learn when they hit rock bottom and u arent around to save them

16 Likes

Stick your ground… or you’re right. They will end up entitled little brats. Coming from a mama to an entitled almost 7 year old(20th this month) so I feel your aggravation mama :woozy_face:

5 Likes

Honestly it’s on you guys as parents to teach them the value of things. If they don’t care about them and take the fact that they’re getting gifts for granted, then you have to teach them how to appreciate what they have and how to care for their things.

4 Likes

Once the stuff breaks don’t rebuy again my daughters learned this way I don’t have cash to keep buying the same stuff and add to it until u can prove ur responsible with ur sutff then I will start buying u more… Worked for me

My son acted up for the last time and every single toy went out into the shed until he earned things back slowly. We haven’t really had any issues since then. He’s only 4 and picked up on it. Your girls are definitely old enough to know better and knock it off.

I would buy them each and outfit and a pair of shoes.

6 Likes

Just dont give up on the lesson. Its an important one. Best of luck!

2 Likes

Was the tablet in a protective case/ cover.

Was there a box for all the lol dolls.

For a couple that spent that much on toys but not storage or protective gear for tablets is odd.

5 Likes

I’d take every toy they own n put it all away. Show them what it’s like to have absolutely nothing n maybe they’ll learn to appreciate it all. I’ve done it to my daughter.

1 Like

Just stop bying that’s all.It’s not their fault,it’s yours.

6 Likes

Biggest mistake was wasting that much money. If they’re not going to respect their own stuff they’re going to end up not respecting yours. Nip it in the butt n stick to your guns

4 Likes

My 14 son as broken all his stuff iv got him for Xmas phone earphone TV ect… so today for his birthday all he got clothes, trainers and a cake… Told him I cant afford to by him stuff he’s going to break x

3 Likes

Have a garage sale all the toys i notice my kids dont play with we sale if they dont take care of something or they have acted like its there and can do anything they want with it have a agarage sale thats what ee did we didnt sale everything they were left with a little bit if toys and all there books but had to sale there toys and it worked they sat there and sold there stuff and we did that when they were 8 and 6 and there 16 and 13 now and since then have taken care of everything and christmas time they save to buy gifts and to give to the needy since we did the garage sale it works soynds kinda mean but it works

I would not replace anything until they can take care of I’ve done this with my own kids it’s their responsibility to take care of the nice things that I work hard to provide them with and eventually it sunk in when I quit replacing as far as birthdays go I always buy my kid one present for their birthday some may not agree but with both their birthdays so close to Christmas one in Dec and one in Feb that’s just what we do and I go all out for Christmas it works for us … I also break it down to them when things get destroyed or lost like I worked a whole day to pay for that or however it breaks down make them understand a little bit

1 Like

Put half toys up a few months later change toys out should do it makes clean up easier

1 Like

Take it all away. Before their birthday get them an outfit and shoes. Give them back things a little at a time as they deserve it. If they don’t end up deserving it after x amount of time then donate everything. With my girls I have them go through their things every 6 months or so to donate to less fortunate the things they keep end up being important to them and they care for those things dearly

1 Like

Don’t give them birthday gifts. Tell them to pick a shelter, charity, etc of their choice and have them donate to it. Whether that be raising money or donating their own toys and clothes. Tell them this year their gift is learning what selflessness and gratitude is. This is a teachable moment, take advantage of it!

10 Likes

It’s called being kids they do this it’s what you signed up for after all??:rofl::rofl: there too young to have that type of stuff so least to say it’s more fool you for splashing out when there so young and dont yet understand you should have saved it for a time they do appreciate it I’m sure you knew this before right

1 Like

Stop giving them everything & start giving them giving them boundaries

3 Likes

Do activity gifts. Like a trip somewhere or an art /pottery class, whatever they’re into. Be sure to tell them why you opted for an experience gift over a material gift.

So. I can guarantee they have always been reckless with their belongings. This isn’t a new thing and you know it BUT you still decided to go above your means to spoil them and think they’re just going to suddenly start to be more careful and appreciative? Nope. This is on you 100%. You failed to teach them and you failed by spoiling them with material items instead of life lessons.

1 Like

Sometimes things just break? Did you buy insurance on the stuff? My 11yr old broke her tablet and only had it for 2 weeks and the hover board stopped working she had it for a few weeks too​:woman_facepalming::exploding_head::woman_shrugging:, sometimes we just have to suck it up, but also teach our kids daily that we just don’t always have money to replace the items, so now my kid deals with it but I don’t bash her for it, I’ve had ny fair share of accident like spilling milk/soda

I would sell all the big stuff and take everything else away and tell them why they would get the everything else slowly start acting that way again I would start trashing it

We spend several thousand on Christmas gifts and really go all out, but our kids have always taken care of their things. If they don’t appreciate what they have, it’s time to cut back. I also give our kids an allowance to help them understandmore about money. Sometimes they don’t realize the value of things until they start spending their own money to buy them.

7 Likes

It’s sounds odd that this is a behaviour that they just started. This is probably something they have done but you chose to notice more now that the things you bought cost a lot more money. Consistency. And most of all don’t make empty threats!

3 Likes

I’d make them play with what they have

I always put things away and then take them out as something new to play with when they get bored with the other toys we donate/consignment. We did a big christmas this year to and a lot of it is put up for snow days and rainy days :grin::grin:

They’re 7 and 8, I’d give them a little leeway. Just don’t replace it if it breaks and make sure you provide adequate protective coverings for electronics. Get them the usual for their birthday or maybe get second hand stuff (because at that age, they couldn’t care less if it’s actually new and you’ll feel better if it’s broken). Life is hard enough and sometimes kids break stuff. Don’t use their first birthday after a mess up to teach them a lesson.

6 Likes

Do exactly what you thought of . An outfit and a pair of shoes . Giving kids so much ( I did the same thing ) only makes them less appreciative. At Christmas , I would suggest getting them 3 gifts each . I’d get one main gift and less expensive gifts . ( the main gift need not be costly ) . They will appreciate what you give them much more ! When they are grown up and see how you’ve sacrificed for them , they will truly appreciate ANY thing you do for them . Mine are now 32 , 28 and 24 and are so appreciative! Trust me in this one !

2 Likes

Take it all away. All of it. Slowly give it back as they earn trust.

2 Likes

Oh a bit OTT. When kids have more than “everything” they don’t appreciate it. Less is more.
Children don’t want things, they want your time.

5 Likes

Girl mine have no respect for me and the things I do for them I wash their laundry and dry it hang it only for them to pull it off and throw it on the floor. So I decided they can start putting it away teach them but nope. Now it’s well I had a bad day or I’m tired so I’m at the end of my rope. I feel like not even washing it anymore and letting them do it. It’s so frustrating. Mine are 11 and 9 and I wasn’t like this with my mother. They are currently grounded for not doing the one chore that they have to do.

Take them all away and have them earn them back by doing things around the house.

3 Likes

Take the kids to a poor area of town and let them drop the gifts you are sharing off.

2 Likes

We go all outish for xmas. But buy one or two small presents for bdays

Personally, that’s all I would buy them too…an outfit and a pair of shoes. If that’s how they treat their stuff, then why spend hard earned money on stuff they don’t treat like garbage. My mom did it with me, and I learned to appreciate the things I got

Firstly, as much as you love them, you do not need to spend thousands on a multitude of gifts. Put that money in a college fund and tell them. If they don’t take care of their things, make them bag it up and in person take it to a church donation center. Also have them volunteer where they physically see those less fortunate. 7 and 8 is old enough to teach the value of time, money and material possessions.

1 Like

I was an ungrateful brat when I was 7. I remember I got to open a gift early on Christmas Eve and I picked the biggest one

It was from my mom… I was so excited. I opened it and it was a fluffy pig bean bag, it was velvet honestly thinking back it was pretty cool because it was huge!!!

I acted like it was nothing. I didn’t want it. I wanted to open another gift.

My mom died not even a year later after this and that pig bean bag became one of the most loved things I’ve ever owned. I cried like a baby when it ripped.

Honestly. I’ve never acted like a brat during gift giving again. It taught me a lesson.
They just gotta learn mama, that’s pretty much it. One year don’t get them as much or do a year where it’s only homemade gifts…

4 Likes

You need to take a step back and take a break on getting them stuff. Giving a child everything they want, tend to become unappreciative. My 12 and 8yr old are becoming like this. I knkw we want to give them everything we never had but I think its doig more harm then, idk that’s just nu opinion.

1 Like

I wouldn’t replace anything they break. They’re kids. Shit happens. If you’re tired of them not picking up their toys, I would start telling them if you have to pick up the toys, around a certain time you’re coming clean, anything left out, you’re throwing away. (Follow through with it) they will ketch on you mean business

Stop Giving them anything. Start let them earn it.You all talking about all You are buying them. WHAT about Your Time. SIT down and talk to them. Spend a Day with them.Thats all most Kids want Your Attention.

Maybe that stuff was just overwhelming for such young girls and they don’t understand the value of it? Some kids aren’t ready for high tech toys like hoverboards and tablets so young. The doll heads are doll heads, cheap plastic expected to break after a bit and shouldn’t be a big deal. I think you had good intentions, but they just aren’t ready for that.

1 Like

My kids have broken their PS4 controllers and headsets they were all told that you will get one replacement for each and then we will never buy you another because you don’t take care of them. Phones they don’t leave in the cases and screens break and we apply the same concept, once the phone is broken and no longer works that sucks but we won’t buy another one. They then have to earn and save their money to buy whatever it is they want. It sucks to be the bad guy but I’d rather be the mean mom who teaches you to respect your stuff versus the mom who gives you anything and everything all the time. Just my opinion though.

2 Likes

Half the stuff I got my kids for Xmas didn’t even get taken out of the package… so I put it away and wrapped it for their bday. Start regifting them until they start acting right :smirk:

1 Like

So I’m gonna say something that’s different then most people here. Buying a lot of things and “spoiling” your kids doesn’t mean they will grow up entitled and bratty. Kids are kids. They break things. I know some moms (mine aren’t old enough just yet so I haven’t personally) who had to buy basically like an Otter Box or Lifeproof case for their tablets because kids will drop things. Kids will rip heads off dolls while playing even if they are $2 dolls. Some of that sounds age appropriate. Kids kinda destroy their toys. Maybe find toys related that are cheaper? They may not know the difference in quality but will still love the gift and you won’t feel like you wasted money. And then just talking about respecting toys and taking them away for some time if they can’t play nice. Never buying gifts for them, cutting back on what you do for them, or making them feel awful is NEVER the answer. You can have nice things, get a lot of toys, grow up with lots of things, and still be respectful. I know it’s hard momma but you got this. There’s a lot of harsh comments but I don’t believe in mom shaming those who wanna spoil their kids because 1. They never got to and would love to or 2. Grew up that way and are a respectful adult and wanna do the same…it’s not about cutting back. It’s just about teaching them. You got this :blush: every kid is different too of course

3 Likes

Follow through actions have consequences

3 Likes

Maybe start with not spending thousands on them??? Lord.

1 Like

Keep on spoiling they are just kids give em a break I’m sure you was that way growing up

1 Like

Stop buying. Set limits to gift lists and price limits as well. Make them pick out and donate to the less fortunate or you will.

Stick to your guns and only buy them things they need for their bdays. Clothing, socks, new toothbrushes/toothpaste, etc., “old school” toys to play with outside like jump ropes, sidewalk chalk, cheap stuff you can get at dollar tree. Until they can start being responsibile, that’s all they get.

Nip it in the bud now or you will have your hands full in the coming years!

Consistency and life lessons is all you need!!!

1 Like

Girrrrrrlll take all their shit away and leave them with the bare necessities! A few outfits (not the cutest ones) and a pair of shoes and a pair of sandals. Tell them nothing in this life is free and if they want their shit back they’re going to have to earn it back… (in my exact words) :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: not really but yes take their things away. I know the feeling of fearing that you’re raising ungrateful little shits. Luckily my two are pretty damned great. I’ve taught them to appreciate anything and everything, sometimes however I do have to remind them which I assume is normal. And they’re kids… they’re allowed to cry and throw tantrums just don’t give in…

I think at that age they are reckless and don’t understand the extent to what you did for them. I’d focus on teaching them to be appreciative of what they have. Spend time not money. Activities together as a family. Maybe eve volunteering together as a family. They are young and you can bounce back from this. Good luck. :four_leaf_clover:

Tell them how it’s not ok to be careless about toys and if they continue to do so they won’t have them

Stop making threats and follow through!

When my oldest continued to treat his stuff poorly at around the same age I literally took EVERYTHING away. Every toy, every book, every game, every movie, etc. ALL OF IT. He was left with not a single material thing except his bed and clothes.

The rule then became he had to earn them back one item at a time. If he messed up and disrespected his property again, he lost it ALL again. It took a little over a year for him to finally earn everything back but he learned quickly to treat his property with respect.

We have 4 golden rules in this family and breaking a single one has consequences. But they grow up better people for it.

Rule number 1. Respect yourself
Rule number 2. Respect others
Rule number 3. Respect property
Rule number 4. Be kind

5 Likes

First off it’s Covid . Second no matter what . Way to much stuff . I’ll get my kids stuff and it takes them a year to be even interested or play with it in normal daily play. Also 2 girls . My one daughter makes so much mess my head spins . That’s what they do. Depending on there personality they just don’t have that attachment factor . I only buy based of intrests

1 Like

I did this. My daughter is 6, and she destroyed everything she touched and her birthday was 25 days before Christmas. Got the whole family on board and she only got clothes - no toys. If you want what you say to matter, you have to make it matter. Kids see empty threats for exactly what they are. They’ll sob, you’ll feel bad and you won’t follow through and it will set a precedent for the future of being able to walk all over you. You’ve said it, you need to do it! And make sure the family is on board too cause kids know how to play adults off each other

Kids get too much so they don’t appreciate things Cut back especially toys They have so much they don’t know what to play with

3 Likes

Sadly my 3 year old is like this now. I’ve made empty threats and I’ve also trashed broken toys before. Sunday she got in Wal-Mart and noticed a Star Belly from TV and showed her a$$$$ :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: of course we bought it. To sayless that’s her last toy until summer. I call the shots :sunglasses:

Don’t buy them more expensive things lmao

My kid is 4, I have a very strict policy of distinguishing what is mine and what is hers and so I know from how careful she is with my things that she knows how too. I bought her her own switch lite for xmas and have caught her being pretty disrespectful with it at points. I actively take it away when she’s like that and remind her that it CAN break and if it does she wont get another, wont be allowed to use mine and wont get anything else that’s nice like that for a long time. It’s one of those things that I feel like you need to keep an eye on and correct as it happens, not after the fact.

Also buy cheap tablets expect them to break . Comes with the territory . Let it go. Kids break things . Either buy another one or don’t up to u . But it happens . This is normal. Sure you want them to take care of it but they need to be held accountable and be doing chores . Get proper storage for these things. But let it go

the past couple yrs we do more experiences with kids or ski lessons and little things. I’m tired of all the toys around the house that doesn’t get played with.
if u threatened to take toys away take them away put them in a black bag and take to garage or something.
get them to earn toys back.

2 Likes

You literally just described my life. I would be happy if I could just get them to keep their rooms cleaned. :sob::sob:

Good ass burning and no more gifts

I would do exactly what you said. Get them clothes and shoes for their birthday 🤷

Too spoiled! They cannot appreciate it anymore…

If you told them that they won’t be getting anything for their birthday if they don’t take care of their things then you’ll need to follow through or they won’t take you seriously. It sounds like sooner or later they’re going to need to learn a hard (and very common) lesson and since their birthdays are coming up it sounds like it’s going to be sooner and that will work in your favor. It’s going to suck for sure in the short term but you have to remember that raising kids is a marathon not a sprint. A super hard marathon. Good luck!

1 Like

Definitely follow through with the “threats” u give them. If u say your going to throw toys away if they arent taken care of, then DO it! Also dont spend that much on christmas stuff.! 1) bc the next christmas will seem like shit comoared to the previous 2) thats how they become ungrateful

Donate it all to charity. And have them earn anything else they want. Make them do chores earn money (half goes in bank and half can be spent). Whatever they want they need to buy.

2 Likes

I have found with my son who is 6 when he gets a lot of new stuff all at once he get careless with it vs when I buy him fewer things or make them combo gifts that go together it like when hr has fewer things he appreciates them more

1 Like

My daughter’s father took away a toy everytime she treated things disrespectfully. When all her toys were gone he started removing furniture. By the time three was nothing left in her room but a mattress on the floor, she treated everything from then on as a gift. Not a right.

4 Likes

Put everything in garbage bags n make em earn their stuff back… Worked with all 5 of my kids… If they wanna be assholes, i can be a bigger asshole :joy:

B4 I had kids,while visiting a good friend, her son wasnt taking care of his things. Specifically hed leave his skateboard everywhere. She had told him time and time again that if he wasnt playing on it to put it in a designated spot so nobody would fall on it. That one day was the last straw. He left it in the driveway. She made HIM put it in the trash can knowing the trash truck was down the road on their route heading to that house. He cried. She gave him 1 final chance and he never left it out again.

Time to show some tough love, take the things they haven’t broken yet & give to the homeless or children less fortunate. I wouldn’t buy them anything for their birthday but maybe an outfit or two.

I’m glad you can afford such nice things for your kids but I honestly stopped reading after the massive list of Christmas gifts. Growing up we always got one big ticket item we always wanted and then smaller things we wanted/needed, Barbies, clothes, etc. I can imagine if my parents bought me all this stuff for one Christmas I would probably have been an ungrateful nightmare. To each their own though.

4 Likes

Take them out for a birthday dinner…and say Happy Birthday then explain why this is all they are getting this year…

22 Likes

My daughter was doing this too, I went in and threw everything away or donated it. She has a bed, a desk and drawers in her room now, she is 8, poor thing rearranges her room every other day lol. She is now allowed to buy a toy with money she has earned or recieved, she seems to be better about taking care of what she has. I think all the items overwhelmed her and she just didnt care about them.

2 Likes

I would pack up the good stuff and regift it to them for their birthday. And explain nothing new to you show respect

The problem is you spend thousands of dollars on them & you wonder why they don’t appreciate anything!!!

5 Likes

Time for tough love and gratitude. Pack up all those goodies and donate to those in need who will be grateful to get them. If they can’t take care of their nice things teach them that others will be more than happy to. I love the idea of experiences over physical things. Games, dinner out of their choice, not sure there is much to do now with everything going on, but memories will last longer than things. I hope you find something that works for you.

I’d be making them work.
Learn the value of something. 7 and 8 is an age where if you don’t correct it now there will be no return.

And I hope you also learned a lesson.
Thousands of dollars on kids turns them into brats.

1 Like

I started at a young age getting my son to pick out stuff he doesn’t use and then he donates that to a child in need. Not only is the receiving child very appreciative, its also a good constant lesson that not everyone is well off and that we are lucky to have things.

2 Likes

You are one that spoil them!

2 Likes

My kids are often like this.
I’ve found a few things…

  1. it is possible to have too many toys, and when they have too many it means that things get strung out and left out. Because they move from one thing to the other easily.
  2. set and enforce rules and boundaries. If my oldest (7) wants to go play outside or play on the tablet or play on ps3 then all the other toys must be picked up first. End of story end of discussion.
  3. offer small rewards. We had struggled hard eight mornings. So we’ve set up a system of rewards and consequences. If he’s dressed by 620 he gets to pick his lunch. If hes dressed by 630 then I’ll pack his lunch but I pick it. If he’s not dressed by 640 then he gets a school lunch. If he has a good attitude around chores he gets to do whatever he wants (within reason) while I cook dinner
  4. offer “bigger” rewards when possible for more extended good behavior. But dont make those rewards objects…try experienced instead. My oldest has had an AWESOME week, so in addition to the small rewards hes gotten we’re suprising him Friday with a trip to local skate rink and a couple dollars in quarters for the arcade games.
1 Like

The last sentence you wrote? You’ve already got them. And it’s not their fault. It’s you. You are the one who needs to learn to do it the right way.:pray:t3:

1 Like

Also instead of spending thousands of dollars on them. How about being parents to them .?? Going for walks with them & each by themselves. Go bike riding with them & another great idea, sit down & just talking to them. And another great idea, how about a board game. Turn off the cell phones, turn off the computers, & turn off the TV and just listen :blush:

2 Likes

Take all of it. Take every toy and book they own and leave them with their clothes and beds. They will figure it out sooner rather than later

Good for you.

Make them a homemade cake, a homemade card, and have them help prepare a special meal for their birthdays. Skip the toys. Skip the fancy presents.

If they can’t appreciate and care for what they have why do they deserve more?

You might feel guilty and that’s OK. You may also find out that just doing simple stuff together means more to them than all the presents.

If you do decide to go big for birthdays or Christmas we always out a majority of the toys away and just leave a few out. Then we rotate through them making the fun and toys last longer throughout the year. That way we get the fun of a big holiday and they don’t get so overwhelmed.

We also use some toys as an “earner”. if the kids have been especially “bad” we will bring out a new toy we know they are excited about, keep it in the living room where they can see it, and let them know that they can have it if they are good and can do XYZ all that week.

Currently my 11 year old has a 60$ Lego City Fire house lego set sitting on the shelf in the living room waiting for him to complete the week with “positive talk”. Instead of “this sucks, I’ll never finish, this is boring” etc etc he is working on more positive talk like “Oh this won’t take long” etc etc

3 Likes

my son is 9.granddaughter 5 grandson 3(today) THEY ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY DISRESPECT THEIR THINGS😉they need to be taught at a young age.they get the hang of it.for every month my son does well in school and at home he gets a reward.any reward he likes.hes an AWESOME uncle to his nephews n niece.he needs to be rewarded because he puts up with alot from the younger kids lol his room is kept very tidy.only thing i do in there is clean his floors and do his laundry he does the rest.its a no kid zone (for older nephew and niece) unless he gives them permission to go in.he pitches in with chores.so do grandkids.we dont have lol’z laying everywhere.they all do their part to respect their things n keep them tidy.kids dont respect you as a parent/grandparent when theyre handed everything👌good luck.

I mean first mistake was spending “thousands of dollars” on Christmas gifts. You can’t blame them for being irresponsible with their things when stuff is handed to them so readily. Of course they are gonna sob when stuff is then taken…they’re kids. Teaching things like kindness and being appreciative starts early. Take them a homeless shelter, show them their are children that do not even have food to eat or a bed to sleep in. Have them go through their things and donate them…you mention wanting them to have things due to covid. What about actually doing things with them that do not cost a dime? Kids want love and attention not "things."also, if they have broken something, they dont get it replaced.

Don’t buy expensive things. If they’re broken, throw them away and do not replace them. They don’t get them until they know how to take better care of their stuff🤷 my boys used to break their stuff and not take care of it. My youngest, broke his tablet when he was 7. He didn’t get another one. When he was almost 9, I got a new phone, and I gave him my old one to play games on using the wifi. He has not broke it. I told him if he did, he wouldn’t get a new one. He did drop it once, when he was hurrying trying to get out of the car and it for a small crack… He was so scared to tell me and so sad lol. But he actually takes decent care of it. My oldest, kinda the same. He’s 12, and he is crazy about his games being in the right cases and his system and his phone being taken care of. But they know, if they break their stuff, I’m not replacing it. And no one else is either.

I’d be donating most of the toys, and getting something simple for their birthday like clothes and shoes. They have way too much it sounds like and that’s an issue. Rotate the toys. And stop spending so much on them. Try one on one time or bike riding. Or experiences as a family instead of toys. Going to the zoo, aquarium, museum, do a family board game night, family dinner night where you all cook together, family movie night, go to the park, go sledding together, play with play doh with them, have a coloring contest with them, do obstacle courses in the house and scavenger hunts.

1 Like

My oldest was like that so everything she didn’t put away at the end of the night I threw away or donated it. When I say it I mean the whole set “it” belongs to. She started to take care of her things. Until she became a teenager.
Fast forward my middle two daughters (7 &6) don’t give two shits. I tried what I did with the oldest, they don’t care. I have filled black garbage bags in front of them, they don’t care. I have stripped their room, they don’t care. So now almost everything they get is second hand, way pay full price!
My youngest son (4) so far cleans up almost every night before bed.

Every kid is different! Good luck

Give them experiences. My 8 yr old daughter is the same way, destroys everything. I’ve tried everything to get her to stop but it’s almost like she cant help it. So instead of a bunch of “things”, we go on vacations or go to a place of her choosing rather than giving a bunch of crap she can break and tear up

You made them that way honestly! They should of been shown to appreciate things from the beginning, why would u spend so much money on gifts??? U should show them the importance of belongings and the importance of working for what they want! Responsibility and respect, I’d take the things away and put them up, until they show responsibility they shouldn’t get the things back! Also try taking them to serve food at a homeless shelter and for their birthday have them set up a donation of books or something for the needy instead of getting a bunch of gifts! I have 12 almost 13 year old daughter who always goes through her things and donates what she no longer needs or wants to children who don’t get as much! Also she has been taught to save for things that she may want! Not to mention she appreciates everything that she gets never over ask for things or expects to get abunch of gifts! So thinks of others also! It’s the parents responsibility to teach their children these things!

Yes go mama ! Make there bday special …if they like flowers …or want a bday breakfast …or bday dinner …make a cake too ! Decorate all you want ! And maybe buy a bday outfit and a bday game night ! But NO to the NO ! on the gifts and toys …maybe say for 1 toy you break …one gets picked for goodwill etc etc …in the future maybe you could use this money on a savings account for them …or fam vacation…or omg you and your husband use it ! I’m sure you both need spoiled!

Gather up some of things you got them for Christmas, put it in a box or bags. Fix them a nice breakfast and then have them get their coats on and take them to the nearest childrens home or daycare center and drop off the things you gathered up. Have them watch the kids play with these items and then drive home. Maybe they just might change their tunes. If they don’t, next Christmas, buy them and outfit each, pair of shoes and a coat.

3 Likes

Dont spend that much on them, even if you have it, that is why they dont appreciate nothing . You will turn them into ungrateful, spoiled brats. I know as parents, we want to give our children everything we never had and more but this is not the way to do it.

We do memories, not presents. They get like 1 or 2 things and then we do something. Could be as simple as going out for dinner and then go to an arcade, or chuck e cheese, or waterpark, etc. One christmas we went to a great wolf lodge and then they got some dollar tree items.

1 Like