Oh my even if you were bottle feeding a newborn shouldn’t be apart from mum that soon. He’s gotta understand that.
Don’t let ya kids go unless u have court orders. Plain n simple cause no guarantee he will bring bub back if this is already happening…
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Worry about it when the time comes don’t plan just flow day to day. Shit changes live in the now
I would not allow my newborn to stay away overnight for atleast 1 year
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Why?? Why do people do this to themselves? Why do this to children. Babies need a mother. Children need a home and stability. Sad, sad situation
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Tell him to put his baby daughters need before his own the selfish twot
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Sounds like this guy is living two lives. You are the other woman, I’m sure.
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He can get regular weekend visits after the first month. He sounds childish and doesn’t understand breastfeeding a newborn.
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Why do you have more rights than him? That baby is half his also. Unless he is abusive or harmful to the baby, there is no reason the baby can not go with him. You should have thought of this before you decided to have a baby with this man. You can breastfeed and pump; there is no reason you can’t. It’s not just about what you want. That man I’d her father also.
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No Way‼️ Too soon for newborn to be apart from mom!
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The welfare of the child is always the court’s top priority, so those under 18 months old are considered suitable to visit their father (or noncustodial parent) for a few hours at a time, but due to their need for routine and familiarity, overnight stays are generally not recommended.
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I strongly urge you to pump as much as you can during the first month. You never know when your supply could dry up or you could start struggling with enough supply. I’m not trying to scare you or anything I’m just telling you from experience that you will have more milk most likely in that first month or two. So my daughter is 3 and 1/2 months I’m only able to pump 3 to 5 oz in that first month I was able to pump 6 to 10 oz during each pumping sessions. Now that my supply is dropping I wish I took more advantage of that first month and pumped more often.
After you have your baby you are going to need help . This would be a great time for him to bond with his child . I would tell him he can stay and help and spend time with his child and the both of you need to learn how to coparent together and establish trust with one another for the best interest of your child . That time is such a very sensitive time and it’s going to take both of you to work together. Both of you need to lay down some boundaries together if your relationship does not work out. You both have to be able to communicate together for your child. I would tell him that and tell him you both need to learn and understand each others expectations and needs and wants for your child.
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Invite him to stay over 
best of both worlds.
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His bonding moments are just as important as yours are. Maybe suggest that you stay the night with your child bc of the breast feeding reason but eventually you will have to allow that child time with his/her father, without you. A mother’s job is very important but so I’d a father’s and especially since y’all aren’t in an actual relationship, you never know if it will work out in the long run so you will have to get used to not being around all the time.
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Tell to Marry you or just sign the checks
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Baby is not even here yet 
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You aren’t in the wrong. Coming from a mother who has breast fed more than once, and currently doing it again now. You staying the night with him or vice versa isn’t out of the question, but you being away from the baby that early isn’t good on your milk production. trust me when I say, which a lactation specialist will say as well ( which may be good to have one talk with him as well to help him understand too) pumping is nothing like nursing. The baby’s touch, cry, everything is what helps you produce the most. Not a machine. Not to mention the baby will want to nurse most likely every 2 hrs in the first 2 weeks. And the hind milk is the most important. Trying to balance out nursing and pumping all at the same time, can make it a possibility that the baby may not be getting the most nutritious part of the milk during feedings. And that early going from bottle, breast, bottle, breast may make her decide she doesn’t want to nurse anymore because it takes more work than a bottle. Which can then slow your production rate down.
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Go with her and only allow cosleepovers til not breastfeeding.
The court won’t force you to give him the baby while nursing.
Change your locks and get a custody order before he takes her anywhere.
If you don’t he can pick up your child and keep her until the court orders him to give her back.
He doesn’t have to be on birth certificate but it’s better if he is.
Also know you may have to drive half way coming and going if it’s more than 55 miles (rule in Texas)
Put the paperwork in place.
Also establish child support.
She needs to know her other sibling but she also needs to bond with her mama.
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For the first year… No way would my baby be going 2hrs away. If it’s important to him he will come to u with absolutely NO PROBLEM…
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Well if he’s not on the birth certificate depending on the state he will have no rights to force anything unless he gets a court ordered DNA test to prove the child is his and in most cases if you’re planning on exclusively breastfeeding during the first month then the court can’t force you to let him have her either because you’re breastfeeding it’s not good for you or the baby to be separated while you’re exclusively breastfeeding
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The Baby is so very young right now To Take her Over night !! No WAY !! She needs her Mother Right Now !! AND She only Knows her mom Right now Her Smell Her Milk She need to Grow A while Before all the stuff he wants to do !!! Just tell him no way !!
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Amazing how just “talking” led to a baby on the way? But other than that, you didn’t seem to have a problem sleeping over with him when that happened, so tell him he better have a bed ready for you next to that baby too when it comes, at least for the first year. And I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but some babies aren’t able to breastfeed. You have grand plans I see, but your baby and your body are going to dictate what you can and can’t do. All of your ‘want to do’s’ may go out the window as soon as that baby gets here. It’s not about you anymore, it’s about what’s best for your baby. You need to let him know your concerns rationally and also let him know about your plans for breastfeeding and how overnight visits would disrupt that. If he is a good father then he will want to do what is best for his child. But that doesn’t mean he has to comply to all of your ‘wants’ as far as visitation is concerned. If he has a lawyer and is ready to fight for custody, be prepared for anything.
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Breastfeed for only one month??!!
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Nope, He can get over it! Baby should stay with mom to bond ect…No way. You should even question what you should do!! Don’t go for that!! if he wants to be a part of her life he would visit or be with you period! Not 2 hours away!! Don’t fall for whatever he is up to! Sounds suspicious to me tbh!!
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That’s good you got a breastfeeding plan but you should also have a formula plan also. My first wouldn’t latch, I had milk in for him but he refused to latch, so I had to do a bottle. My second did latch, my third didn’t really try to, my last he latched on. Not all babies will latch, not all the time will milk come in.
Now to your baby daddy issue, in the hospital you can say no visitors or certain visitors with a pass code. So he can’t come up there and see her.
Now your house, change the locks, he will one night come and take your baby as y’all are sleeping.
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If yall not married don’t let him keep her period until there’s a set visitation schedule. Then you end up like another poster who is having to fight to get their baby back…
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Oh hell no. He has no rights actually.
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I don’t know if a court that would be ok with sending a newborn that’s exclusively breastfeeding 2 hours away for overnights.
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This makes no sense. You have been “talking” to your daughters father for two years but are pregnant…. So you’ve been doing more than talking and never thought about the consequences before you had sex and got pregnant. He also has a key to your house and you’re not even in a official relationship. Sounds like you either need to make it official and move in together or you better make sure you have a court order when that child is born so he can’t take the child from you. And next time maybe you should think shit through before jumping in bed with someone.
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You are not in the wrong here.youre not telling him that he cannot see his child.gokd on you for breast feeding,he should be supporting you in that,together or not x do not back down to anything your not comfortable with
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No overnights while nursing til 18months here
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Nope not happening. Do not allow it. This isn’t about him. It’s the kids rights. Nurse her and DO NOT give into the back and forth. Get a lawyer, if it’s a good lawyer they will know how to guide you through this. Message me I’ve been through this. I’ll give you insight, guidance, support, friendship.
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Omg no way 
The fact that he feels entitled for a newborn to be in the car for 2 hours to go to him instead of visiting her at home and respecting your BFing schedule etc etc is more than enough indicator of immaturity and self absorption. No way in the world.
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Don’t allow her to go anywhere with him without court papers. Save urself a lot of heartache. Good luck
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More indiscriminate breeding…
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Well here’s the thing he has every right to expect that. He’s her father. Now he needs to go to court to be legally allowed those rights. It protects you both. If he isn’t a danger to the baby or a danger of running off with her it shouldn’t be a problem.
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Obviously doing more than talking…
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No newborn should be in the car that long. No
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Look up the laws where you live. In the state of Texas over night visit don’t start until 3 because they cause more damage than good. a lot of states have similar laws.
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So you are having a child with a man you are basically not even with? He lives 2 hours away. Maybe you should have thought about all this 1st. He is Dad as much as you are a Mom. People get mad when men don’t do their part and then get mad when they do want to do their part. How about let’s start families again.
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Nope , if he has the key to your house, he can come stay overnight at your house. By the way change your locks, he doesn’t need the key to your house.
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Sorry to say 50/50 is the law, and believe me it stinks
Why do women think they get to make these decisions??? That baby belongs to the both of you! This page really makes me hate some females 
If you are only referring to the first month, that is understandable, but you still have to work with him. Treat him as an equal parent, and he’ll act like it. Treat him like he ain’t shit, and that’s how he’ll act.
Oh fuck him…he’s being difficult.wtf would he want a newborn baby at such an early age for to stay overnight the loser.even sounds farken weird no wonder your not with him:why not just have visits till baby’s older. He’s doing it to upset you…he’s doing what most fuckheads do after the relationship is over play the I want my baby Card i don’t want anyone else playing daddy to my baby…tell him to go get farkked don’t even listen to his shit and get your key back or change the locks 
and next time he visits give him a rope and say use it
The amount of people in this thread minimizing the importance of a child having the equal opportunity to build just as strong a bond with their Father as their Mother is frankly, quite alarming. I have 4 kids. I am NOT any more important to them than my husband is. The need my children have for that relationship and that bond with him, wouldn’t change or diminish if for some reason in the future we split up. Children are not possessions, and they have an equal need for BOTH parents to have equal involvement in their lives, any time that is possible. Establishing breastfeeding and supply IS also important, and at least 1-3 months should be given to establish that supply before overnight visits. But after that 3 month period, he deserves equal access to his child. These are the realities of having a child with a man you are not serious with. This reality may suck for her, but it doesn’t trump her child’s right to have equal access to their father, so they have an opportunity to build that strong bond with their father as well.
For the first year alone a judge wouldn’t even agree to overnights. They are more strict to a schedule when I child is young and more so when breastfed. In Texas it’s age 3.
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Girl any doctor or medically trained anyone will tell you after birth your baby is going to need momma…they have felt you for 9 months and that’s what they are going to want…esp breastfeeding you need baby close and if your baby goes through normal issues like latching issues,cluster feeding…your baby is going to also want your scent…she has smelt you and heard your heart beat for so long that baby will feel best with you…now that doesn’t mean not let him involved…I get daddy wanting baby time…my baby girl and her dad have a bond that’s beautiful and is pure love…but some things ( and he knows why) I’m not ok with and it’s our way of doing things and some judge but I’m ok with that…but my daughters dad has never changed her diaper in 2 yrs…but it’s my request…I was sexually abused as a child and feel better handling my baby girls lady bits myself…but if your daughter dad wants overnight maybe try to plan…plan ahead to when he doesn’t have his son…he can come stay there or even you at his home( may be good to see how he works with baby in his own environment and that he has everything needed and it’s baby safe) you could maybe alternate places and that doesn’t mean sleeping together or that your together…you can each set up a sleeping space for the other for an overnight… allow him to be involved through out the night either his or your place…tell him it’s not you taking her it’s more then that…does he attend appointments…if so maybe ask them to explain the importance of baby and mom being close and available…have them educate him on breastfeeding and the bond and the amount of time that goes into feeding pumping and making sure your feeding enough and the health issues that you can get from not feeding when you don’t feed when needed or the dietary issues babies have at first with cluster feeding and latching on properly that it’s a time consuming and can be a very good but also stressful if you don’t make it as easy and comfortable for both mom and baby…maybe have him attend or read things about breastfeeding and let him educate himself or be educated by someone that this is bigger then him and your secret vendetta to keep him out…try and get him educated on things and maybe calmly talk about a plan… and make that effort…I personally didn’t allow my daughter ( my oldest I have 3 kids with a previous relationship) go stay overnight with her dad until I was able to communicate with her on a level we both understood each other…things done to me as a child I’m very selective on who I trust my babies with…and privacy has been taught very early on and what to do if and when anyone ever breaks the privacy rules…but my ex understood and was ok with it…but maybe you too need to have a good talk with each other calmly and with out being selfish…not saying you are but let him know you understand his side and love that he wants to be so involved and how thankful you are but that for several reasons you find it best to be there also…and offer to set up arrangements where your both included in overnights and being with baby…and your more then able to plan around him having his other son…but no offense this other son is the big brother to your and his baby and it may be nice to include the son in his daddy’s other baby…and let these siblings get to know each other and grow up together…unless there is adults to immature to allow an ex to move on and keeping this son from being around or involved with you why isn’t he willing to bring his son around you…or your home…or around his other baby?? Why is only when he doesn’t have his son the time he can possibly come stay with you and be involved…or why does your daughter have to go there without you to be with dad and son…maybe you should ask your soon to be baby daddy about being involved with his son and letting you in…if your together enough to reproduce…maybe you can be decent enough to be around his son…and yea deff not overnights first thing but maybe ask if you can work on being involved with his son so that his son and your daughter can know one another?? I just think you two really need to sit and communicate respectful to each other about what needs to be done… considering the others thoughts and needs and putting in place a future together as parents to a child…and I don’t mean texting or phone calls…meet up for dinner or lunch or have him over and really sit and talk this out…or get stuff done legally…and have a court tell him no and visitations being limited…you could always go that route…my ex and I didn’t go to court or get into legal battles…we talked and communicated like adults and even when he got strung out and in jail and rehab or made 3 other babies with 2 other women we still can communicate and talk things out the good the bad and the ugly…that should be the commitment vow when people have kids together…to many women refusing to let dad’s involved or to many dad’s not involved and you ask 80% of them and they are going to tell you cuz of the baby momma…there ex is this or that or impossible to the point they would rather not be involved with their child because of a crazy woman…so don’t be crazy or selfish be understanding and be willing to work things out and communicate… communicate,communicate, communicate…
Get a parenting plan. I have a cousin in Washington state and he was fighting for partial custody of his newborn daughter. He was only allowed 3 hour visits the first couple of months because the mama was breastfeeding baby. A judge doesn’t typically allow overnights that young, especially breastfeeding.
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Not even a court would allow over nights for a newborn
No. Baby needs to nurse as long as you can do it. If it were mine, no overnight visited till she’s 2
I agree with everyone’s comments in support. Also I want you to remember though you will want a break. There will be a time where you feel like you’re breaking down. Having a newborn is so hard. Legally he cannot separate baby from breastfeeding mother. Just tell him he will have 50/50. In the matter of when, that’s up to you. Keep an option open for those days where you need some sleep. He just sounds like he wants to be involved which is great. Only you know his true character. Anyone saying “you should have thought about that blah blah” don’t matter. Because you don’t have a time machine and that baby will be worth everything and more for you. Be happy and blessed. Don’t worry, things will be fine. I would discuss things as they come. No point in arguing about things that are happening later.
A judge won’t take a breastfed baby away from the mom for a select amount of time. Not sure on time or if it’s based on states.
Did you ever think of marriage??
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This was difficult to read…
I wouldnt let my newborn stay anywhere without me til she gets3 r 4 mts old tell him he can come see her anytime but shes not staying overnight without u let him get mad hed get over it and if he stays away thats on him missing out but dont let him he liable to take off with her especially yall not together if yall were together i still wouldnt let him keep her overnight til at least maybe 5 r 6 mts not sayin that he want take care of her it just newborn need lots of tending to men just dont take care of babies the way a mother does tell him come there sleep in other room bring her little brother if he wants but no she cant spend the night til later on
He would only do it once lol and I’d be surprised if he kept her all night. Newborns typically only want moms when upset
Let him be mad… I would ABSOLUTELY NOT let my newborn out of my sight for at least 6 months, and if you are breastfeeding at least a year. if he is so “present” and caring for your daughter, he would understand this… Stick to your guns. If he wants to see her let him come over to see her or you take her to see him. Quick question? has he helped with prenatal support? Is there a plan for post-partum support or is he expecting to be father of the year without helping with the new expenses you are about to incur?