Neibours kid comes to my house all the time, when my son asks to go there they say no everytime, so what do I do I still let him come over, not the kids fault parent is selfish, can come play anytime
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Back in my day…all the moms watched the children. It was a real neighborhood…all us kids played together. Before social media were the days. Played outside till the lights came on. #thosewerethedays
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Honey, maybe they’re ashamed of their home. Maybe they don’t have the ability to offer another child food. There could be so much going on.
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Lmao you cannot be serious??? I wouldn’t take them either! I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s child at an event or dinner or what have you, especially a 7 year old.
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No…you say nothing… sometimes there are reasons that you either won’t understand or don’t need to Know…you don’t Know the goings on in The home…their could be much more wrong or maybe they’re just not able to mentally deal with another child …either way, if they’re having fun with you at your house, make the best of that… my daughter has a friend who you’d never know had home issues til I found out the family was knee deep in debt, and they rarely saw the dad because he worked way more hours than he was home…they also had no roof … literally it had fallen in…& The kid was too embarrassed to say anything… sometimes things are too hard to talk about…life is never going to give you back everything b
youve put in…but you very well could be giving a child the only bit of comfort she’s ever had… because appearances can be and often are deceiving.
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They are probably cheap. There are many people who will happily take, but will never give. Don’t take their kid anywhere if it’s going to cost you money, let he come over, but she can’t stay for dinner, or basically cost you anything. Cheap people rely on generous people to give so they can get freebies, it’s kind of like a sickness.
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Maybe the friend does not have as stable of a family as you assume? Maybe their budget is tighter than you assume? Maybe there are other siblings and they don’t want others to be upset? Maybe there is abuse in the house and you’re a safe place for this child…lots of reasons it could be…
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Also, i had a best friend…and is still my best friend…in grades 7th- freshman year she practically lived with us. Like had a toothbrush at my house. I stayed at her house once. It wasn’t horrible but it was just very different from my home. I feel we gave her something she needed at that time in her life. After 9th grade, I moved. We were devastated…we drifted apart bc we were very far away…eventually we reconnected and are close again. My point, you and your daughter just may be the blessing this little girl needs!
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So many presumptions being made! How do you know money is not an issue? The places they have posted about being at could be thanks to discount vouchers, months of penny pinching and saving or paid by a friend or relative who they have gone with?
You’ve no idea of what’s going on in their lives and their circumstances.
You invite her friend because you want to, are able to and can afford to…not in the expectation that their family has to do the same in return surely? And to consider cutting back on how often your daughter sees her friend just saddens me…you would seriously consider ‘punishing’ your daughter and her friend because your daughter doesn’t get taken out by her family??? 
If you don’t want to take her out with you then don’t do it… there’s no obligation for you to do so. Just because you have become friends with other friends parents doesn’t mean you need or should be friends with them all.
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I’m a parent of three, and I love my kids but don’t really like taking responsibility for other people’s kids. It’s so much pressure taking someone else’s child for the day so I don’t tend to invite other children along to family activities. I wouldn’t expect anyone to take mine either though. Different people just feel differently about kids, don’t take it personally x
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I don’t like people in my house. I also don’t like to keep other people’s kids without their parents present. might be that simple for them.
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Gonna tell you from my perspective. Thankfully the class my son is in the kids parents I’ve interacted with have all been amazing over the 8 years I’ve known them & I’d have been heartbroken if they’d bitched about me on a public platform!
I used to really appreciate it when the parents would offer days out or just a few hours of playtime or whatever & believe me I tried so hard to return that favour without giving much away but I had a secret I just wasn’t ready to share.
The parents would ask if I was ok & that if I needed to talk then they were there.
They continued to offer to have play dates with my son even on the days I must have come across as selfish/mean or whatever.
Then I revealed that I’d been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis & they were nothing short of incredible.
My point is, you have no clue what’s going on in another parents life & as a parent you should maybe scale back the judgement a little bit!!
Without those mother’s & father’s at my son’s school, I’d have been lost!!
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I did the same as my kids where growing up . We always had everyones kids treating them all the time , but no one ever returned the kind things to my kids that we did for there’s . After I realized it would never happen , so I just couldn’t change who I am so I just carried on lol 
I did all the driving and picking up , and took kids home and both parents cars parked as I did all the running .Some people just don’t spoil there kids as much as I do …and will take and not give . I knew them well they weren’t poor or sick just didn’t think about it , and that’s just who people are .
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Maybe the other parents don’t have the time to do stuff. Or maybe they aren’t as well off as you think. There’s always more to the story than what appears on the surface. Stop keeping score. That’s just horrible of YOU to even think that way. If that’s her best friend then that’s her best friend. It isn’t your place to judge that relationship based on the other parents involvement. You don’t know what is going on in their lives. Frankly your being a bit narcissistic. It’s not that big of a deal. But if you’re going to take it out on her FIRST best friend ever then you’re setting that standard of behavior for the future as well. And you will ruin your relationship with her as well as alienate her from potential friends. Let it go the way it’s going. Stop being so judgmental about the other parents.
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Maybe they are private ppl maybe they’re ashamed of their home don’t be so judgemental
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Don’t punish the girls friendship just because it’s not tit for tat.
Regardless if they have money or not it’s not a requirement for them to do things with your daughter even though it’s lovely you include theirs so the girls can have some amazing memories together.
At the end of the day some people aren’t kid people and don’t enjoy spending time with kids that aren’t their own or maybe they don’t get much family time at home so their outings are for that.
You do you and stop worrying what others will or won’t do.
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maybe your kid is annoying
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I’m coming from a broken home and I know that as a child I was pretending that every is ok at home and my parents are doing amazing because I was ashamed…
I was always staying over at my best friend, basically I was there every day because at home I was not feeling safe or loved.
Even when my parents were telling me to bring my friend over I was not even dreaming of asking her to come because my home just didn’t feel like home…
You never know what goes on behind close doors. Also you having the expectation of getting the same treatment for your daughter I think is a bit wrong… When you do something kind you don’t expect anything in return, is not a business…
Cutting down on their time togheter might impact your daughter , as at this age they do crave that social interaction so if I was in your shoes I would perhaps just stop taking her out with us…
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I don’t invite over other kids because I have 3 of my own. It’s too much.
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Wow. Um no ?? We very rarely included our children’s friends in ANY of our family activities, or to sleep over in our home (exceptions were birthdays/sleepovers) I will be straight up on this I DON’T LIKE KIDS. My own are mine, and I LOVE mine, but I discovered fast that other people’s kids drove me nuts, and short of being rude to my kids friends (whom I don’t need to like) it’s just best that they don’t come around. Plus, I WORKED, and my time with my kids was mine. Not to be shared with others…some moms love having other people’s kids around and a house full, I was not that mom.
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Maybe they are just not social idk I dont talk to a lot of other parents or have other kids idk over. I’m also a younger mom and dont do a lot in a small town lol…I wouldn’t take it personally if they let their kid go to your home they must trust you. I can see how it seems one sided but I was kind of that kid also I didnt have kids over a lot I always was the one sleeping over and honestly I loved it and loved my friends parents for it…
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Just do what you feel comfortable doing it’s all for the kids remember the memories they are making
Someone else said it perfectly. You simply can’t expect you from other people. What you would do, what you think is fair, what you assume…
Maybe, just maybe… it isn’t about you?
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No let it go it will do nothing except cause a issue with your daughter and her friend.
Maybe the other parents have social anxiety.
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Maybe they don’t like kids. I love all kids but my husband only likes our kids so we don’t invite others when we go out as a family 
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Just let her enjoy life no matter who she’s with don’t keep a scoreboard
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We do well enough, but budgeting is hard. I rarely take other kids out because taking my own kids out hits my pocket so hard. It takes a lot of squeezing my pennies to do fun stuff with the kids.
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Don’t EVER punish a kid because of adult’s actions or inactions, that’s beyond wrong!! With that being said you do not know what goes on behind closed doors, that friend could be coming to your home because thing’s at home are not good, many people put on a good front to family and the public all while behind closed doors it’s a freaking mess, i know of someone who is pretty well off financially and they do alot of family vacations etc and also their kids spent time at other’s houses but any kid being at their home would have been a big NOPE because nobody’s kids needed to see what was truly going on in that home not even their own kids needed to see it, maybe the friend feels more comfortable and safe at your home vs their own and that should make you feel good because obviously you’re doing something right! None of which is EVER the kid’s faults
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You sound ridiculous. You don’t know what goes on in peoples homes or their pocket books. You sound entitled and it sounds like you might be passing that onto your child. People are not always going to do for you what you do for them point blank. I feel bad for your child. It sounds like your going to ruin her friendship if you keep being bitter about this. And hopefully you never repeat all this to her🤦
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My advice is to KEEP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING. For all the RIGHT reasons. You’re doing what you are for all the great reasons and no matter what, despite it not ‘feeling fair’, maybe feeling that your own daughter is being ‘left out’ intentionally or unintentionally, or that you should say or do something? Just know in your own heart you are providing amazing memories for both of these children…when they are with you. It’s so hard not to judge or want to ‘judge’, especially when things don’t appear to feel ‘fair’ or when we feel ‘left out’. You’re setting a great example for your daughter so make the MOST of these precious moments. I can also appreciate Nicky Sues’s comments above mine here too. YOU GOT THIS Keep the FAITH and know you’re doing things for all the right reasons.
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And to cut back on hoq much she sees her friend because the parents don’t fork out as much money as you do is crazy. I hope I never encounter another mother like you.
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I had a friends family who always took me places as a child but I never could have her over. Nobody made knew that my parents were alcoholics and there was always chaos.
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Leave it alone. The kids are probably just happy to be together when they can. There could definitely be reasons noone outside of the family is aware of.
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To be fair, I have the money to take out my children, but adding one extra kid is entirely out of my budget.
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Lots of people have very good points. You have no idea what’s going on with that other family. One or more of the parents may have depression or anxiety issues that they are pushing themselves to their absolute limit every day to put on a normal happy family face for their kids, but adding one more kid might push it over. Maybe one of their kids is high needs and you don’t know and they simply can’t keep an extra set of eyes on an extra kid and keep your kid safe. Maybe there is a family dynamic or abuse going on. Maybe they don’t have as much money as you think and their outings are gift cards from family. If they’re letting their kid hang out with your daughter all the time, just be assured that it doesn’t mean they don’t like her or anything and let your daughter enjoy the friendship she has.
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I mean that’s your doing of what you want to do with your family and her friend together her parents dont gotta take your kid anywhere or spend a penny on your kid you don’t know what’s going on with them to judge them
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Let it go ! Your over thinking this because some folks kinda stay to their selves don’t take it out on the kids ! You never know what other folks are going thru .
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I agree with someone above. It sounds like they’re socially anxious.
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Why are you putting so much effort into your kid’s friendships? It isn’t up to the parents to maintain their kid’s friendships. You can’t buy relationships. Those girls will be friends regardless of what you do.
Also, you did all those things on your own. They were not asked of you. You can’t put your expectations for your kid’s friendships on the other parents.
You don’t know a darn thing about the other family. What you “see” on social media does not tell you about their real life. And even if things at home are exactly how they appear then so what? It is still not your business or their responsibility to fund their kid’s friendships.
If you expect to get reciprocated for the things you choose to do on your own then you are going to continue to take offense or be disappointed in how others treat you. What kind of entitlement are you teaching your kid?
Teach your kid to do things for others because it makes them feel good about themselves not because they will get something in return from that person.
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I’m the other parent…
My family does not normally invite other kids to our outings. My husband has two weekends a month off and usually one of those are spent doing stuff around the house. Our outings are our family time. Her friends come over and she goes to their house, but our time away is spent with our family.
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Maybe there’s no room in the car.
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I think your overthinking stuff.
And honestly, shame on your for teaching your child that doing nice things means getting nice things in return. She should learn to do nice things just out of her heart, not always looking for the equal treatment.
You state you don’t know the parents, so in all reality you can’t look at them having fun as a family on Facebook and be pissed. You don’t know if they’ve been saving awhile for that trip. If that trip was partly paid for, You cannot see how financially well off someone is via pictures online, that’s A) ridiculous as hell and B.) childish as all hell.
Seems like your super jealous of their online lives, and bitter because you think that just because you’ve done something for their child means they’ll do something for yours. You don’t know these people, their day to day struggles, their home life etc. I pray to god my child never finds a friend who has a mother like you. Unbelievable.
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I’m not sure if it’s gonna work well for me here. Some of you are FUCKING CUNTS!!
Good luck there mom, personally, I’d let it go. Apparently, the kids aren’t asking to bring her, and that tells you all you need to know. They may be ashamed of their family or some other issue they don’t want their friends to see.
Take her with you when your child asks, there will be plenty of times life won’t be equal, but you’ll manage.
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I see your point it’s weird
I think as long as they want to have that mind set…let them.
I wouldn’t want my child going anywhere they are clearly not welcomed. I can feel that vibe.
Alot of parents genuinely are not interested watching other peoples kids. An that’s ok.
But not solely that. Do you really know how those people are. Has her friend ever asked her parents to let her stay over?
An that one sided thing generally leads to one sided hang out time.
I used to go to my friends all the time. An it was great. On the other hand if we actually went out and did anything it was always always always one sided. My dad didn’t always have the money to give me if they made plans to go out. I never ever expected her parents to buy me anything but it’s not right to take kids places and only do for one and not the other. You’re better off staying home in situations like that. An I should have learned that from the get.
Moments that should have been fun was more for her than for me. I was just kinda there.
An you dont wanna put your kid threw that when her friends parents are seemingly like that already.
Keep doing what you’re doing. An let them have fun at your house where you know what’s going on.
I can tell alot of people are upset by this. But it’s TRUE. Some people dont like having other peoples kids.
An some people will not go to the extent to include every child that is present. An its wrong but you cant change that. You can only accept what is and remind yourself that it probably wont be as fun for her as you think.
I’ve been threw it
Most have been threw it. I was invited and all that asked to go all that. But in the end it was never ever fun for me. Only for their daughter. I was just a tag along.
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I don’t usually comment on posts but I am making an exception. I had 5 kids with my ex - age range 24 to 9. All of them live with me in a three bedroom house with some input form their dad ( we are separated)
My daughter does lots of things with her friends family and I am thankful whilst also feeling guilty.
I work 6 days a week and my free time is filled with laundry and housework. Any spare cash is spent on renovating the house with a view to sell it and buy something bigger.
I am grateful to the family of my daughters friend, whenever she goes out with them I send her with money to pay her way. I don’t expect them to do it but appreciate it all the same. If she didn’t go my daughter would still survive and be ok. Each family is different and has different priorities. We laugh and joke and have fun at home and my kids are loved. I’m pleased that she has a friend with such a wonderful family
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When I was younger I had a “best friend” and we always took her with us, she stayed the night at our house, and we were BFF’s from Kindergarten clear thought college… I NEVER not even once slept at her house or went anywhere with her family, that’s not how they did things… Some families just don’t let friends in, there’s reasons I’m sure… If you’re inviting your daughters friend along in hopes they do the same for your daughter to keep things 50/50, you’re going to be sad when you grow up and realize nothing in life is 50/50…
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Might be just me but this whole mindset is rude. If they don’t want to have your daughter over or take her to places then that is their decision. Just because you do it for their daughter doesn’t mean they have to do the same. So you need to drop it that everything is 50/50. This isn’t a custody arrangement. The fact you even consider cutting back having your Daughter have a friend over and such over this is petty and disgusting. Let your daughter enjoy the company of a friend she likes, don’t expect others to put in the effort that you are willingly putting in, let these parents be if they don’t want to drag another child with them to things they just want to do as a family. Respect it and don’t be petty for the sake of your daughter
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If ur daughter doesn’t care why do you?
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My step daughter is 12 and we have always been cautious about this. Our kids 12 and 3 our super adventurous and love the outdoors because it really makes me nervous taking someone else’s kid on vacation with us. Always worried about if someone happened on our watch I would feel horrible.
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Get over it! You’re doing it for your daughter. When it bugs her, she will ask her friend. Let it be between them.
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Just start a convo in the convo maybe say the girls would have so much fun if they did that together or sense the freindship is between ur daughter and her kid leave it to them she could say oh I would like to go to one of those trips or if it’s because if she wants to go to one just she could always voice it and tell her friend she wants to go to one but sense it’s not you personal friend don’t take it personal it’s there life at the end of the day what they do is out of your control leave it to this kids id say it’s there freindship .
Wow. You’re being kinda petty. Way to much emotion invested where it shouldn’t be!
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Just worry about your kid… if you want to do nice things and invite their friend along to events and to do fun things then good for you. But this kinda sounds like “I do it so they should too”. Honestly I love having my kids with me and I’d rather have their friends come around us. I put a lot of thinking into my kids getting invited places because you can never be too cautious. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise… don’t overthink it.
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Stop inviting the daughter to places. Then you will stop expecting the same from them.
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They msy just be broke snd cant redlly agorf to do things at all but do it anyway do their kids don’t miss out like they did they could be introverts
Does the friend have siblings? Maybe it’s just too much going out to begin with their own family. now to have to be fair to all their kids to add a friend it just might be too much! I wouldn’t think too much into it you do it for your daughter to have company with her. I grew up with three siblings and we are so close but I think that’s because we did so much as a family.
My saying… I do because I want to… not because I expect anything in return… it is obvious that you are bothered & somewhat confused… I would then make it coffee or wine momma to momma invite and just be honest and open on how it makes YOU feel, or if you want to set it up with “can I ask you how would you handle the ? You posted “ and close it by saying “asking for a friend”… if she’s really in tune… I’m sure she will give the answer, and again, be honest… say it’s my feeling…
Well,my daughter has a good friend that her parents have taken her to Colorado, kayaking, movies etc and their daughter has never been to our house and they have been friends a little over a year. I don’t let kids come over for personal reasons with my son. That personal issue also involves a friend of my daughters I let come over 3 years ago. Sometimes people have their own very personal reasons. Grant it we don’t travel like they do and we are just getting our business off the ground after 2 very trying years and learning but yeah that’s my personal opinion
As a mom of 3 girls, 2 of whom have had a close friend I’ve felt comfortable enough to let them sleep over with, I will say what’s kept me from having their friends over is the limited space (I live in a 2 bdrm apt. 2 of my girls share a room) and also the financial means to be able to provide for another child. Even though I’ll post photos of us from time to time out and about having fun, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m financially secure enough to bring along a friend for them. Now, the times my girls have gone to stay with their friend if I know they’re gonna go and do something, say the movies or skating or anything that costs money, I will send my kid with money enough to cover their cost. I will say, this has put me in a (financial) bind in the past, but it’s the least I’ve felt I could do. Also, when I was younger, my parents were the kind of old school traditional parents who never let me spend the night anywhere. I however, could have as many friends as I wanted sleep over. My dad never had extra money for me to bring a friend along on outings so that was never done either.
So I say this, if you’re inving your daughter’s friend over with the hopes that your daughter will be invited to their home as well, then just stop. But if you’re inviting her because she’s a good friend and good company to your child and your daughter doesn’t mind not being able to do the same, then keep doing it.