I suggest you go to a lawyer find out exactly what your rights are file for child support and have the judge set visitation rights and if he violates those rights you go back to court
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Just tell him you don’t think 3 days in a row is a good idea but let him have him close to half the time. Like give him one day and overnight, pick him up in the morning, then another day and overnight, then let him have him for a day but no overnight. Just split it up, but make sure even if it’s close to half the week total, that you keep slight majority parenting time just so he can’t say that he takes care of your son more than you do. It’s not unreasonable to tell him you don’t want your son away from you for that long, but in my experience the courts will almost always want 50/50 if there’s no documented reason not to and he wants that, so prepare to share 50/50 when you go to court if you guys live close enough.
You need to talk to an attorney not FB.
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Actually, with no custody in place, NO ONE legally has custody of your child. I could file for custody of your child, your mother could, your best friend could. Until custody is granted, a child is basically up for grabs. Seems crazy, right? You would think as a mother who gave birth to a baby, you have custody, but that’s not how it works. The father, especially if he signed the birth certificate has just as much legal rights to your child as you do. You better go file before he does sis. Annnnd, do not be surprised if he wins, you have no income, you have not supported the child and you are already posting about not wanting to let him have the child, things may not go the way you hope. Get a job, a car, get stable quickly. If you fight him on this, he may be and look more fit in the courts eyes than you atm. Let him see his child, things can get ugly quickly.
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Copy of police report and see an attorney about your rights and your son’s.
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Let him have him… he will see how hard it is and how it affects his work life balance. He won’t want as much time when he sees how being responsible for a child affects his life. He is likely using the child as a tool as you said. You need to think long term and know the situation will resolve itself. If he wasn’t involved before he really doesn’t want to be involved now- he just wants to get back at you for what you’ve done to him.
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Just went through this in Ohio as well. Documentation is key. Allow him visitations. I allowed 3 days 3-4hrs at a time while custody battle was in process. Ohio domestic courts are pushing for equal rights for fathers regardless of marital status. Get a lawyer honestly. Minimum visits for children over two are every other weekend and one visitation a week.
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Well he’s only asking 3 days a week your getting him more 4 days just let him have his son for 3 days be 50/50 even tho your getting him more then he is. but also get a custody agreement but it is only fair for dad to have his baby too so be fair in work with him by co parenting.
Pretty sure you don’t “automatically have custody” due to not being married. Neither of you have sole custody until you go to court and the judge grants one of you or both some type of custody agreement/visitations, etc.
You both are free to do as you wish with the child and technically if he takes your son and doesn’t want to give him back, there’s nothing legally you can do until you go to court and get some type of custody agreement established. I suggest you do that ASAP for both of your sake.
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Wait…3 days a week plus over nights…Seems he does NOT work…n he is just doing this to spite you…Get legal help…ASAP…The child may NOT be secured being away from you n sleeping in a different enviorment. See my daughter n her sons father…are co parenting…in a very wise manner.Everything they buy their son is in duplicate…One for home…n one to have by his dad’s house. So he is always in a comfy secured zone when he vists his dad which he takes him just 2 days a week…n brings him back home…
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If the cops had to go and help you leave, if he can’t keep his cool when you guys lived together, what will it be like when your not around? And just because your not married, you get full custody, doesn’t work that way. You have to get the judge to say you have full custody. Time to get courts involved for safety reasons for you n your child.
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I mean if he is a great father and you guys get along good. I don’t see a problem. It helps both you.
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My son is 11 me and his dad split when he was about 5 we have no agreements and we all make it work.
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Nope u don’t have custody cause u gave birth You have to go to court to get custody
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Keep in mind that, with no custody agreement in place, possession is 9/10ths of the law. You have nothing that legally says your child’s father MUST give your child back after the visit, just as there is nothing that says you MUST allow him to take the child for a visit. That which is not in writing cannot be enforced, and police officers cannot decide custody; I was a dispatcher for 10 years and know this firsthand. You may be better off ignoring those e-mails until you can speak to an attorney. In three days, he could leave the state with the child and there is not a thing you can do about that if he is the father.
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Don’t assume you will get custody. See an attorney ASAP!!!
I live in ohio and left a toxic relationship with a child. My advice is directly from 3 different lawyers i spoke to on the subject. Do. Not. Give. Him. Your. Child. Ohio is a default mothers state when there is no marriage. BUT. A father still has some rights. If you willingly hand your child over to him, he legally does not have to give him back until there is a court order. Go first thing and file for a visitation agreement. You two can hash out a schedule in mediation and you have a legally binding order that will protect you and your son.
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Ur best bet is court… cause either way he will get over night visits and EOW. Unless u prove he is a unfit father… thats what i did i got full custody he gets him EOW but he cant take him to where he lives at…
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Don’t think about his feelings, think about your child. How would your child do, being away from you for 3 days?
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Until you have a court ordered custody/visitation arrangement, both parents have equal rights to the kids. You have to hire an attorney immediately and go thru family court
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He will adapt. He needs his father. Going backwards doesn’t change what is in front.
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While here in Ohio you do get full custody as mom till court…remember he can take and refuse to return child to you till court. Happened to a friend
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As a child from something similar to this:
- DO NOT SEND HIM ALONE FOR 3 FRICKEN DAYS. i knew everyone i was staying with and i was TERRIFIED OF GOING OVER THERE for the first 3 YEARS. Every time i would CLING TO MY SISTER and BEG for her to come with me.
- Get a custody agreement!
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Anyone ask him his side. So automatically believe all she’s saying. He the father why shud the mother just take the kid away. He may have been working . Probably cause he has to pay the friggin bills . Man get sick of reading this shit. Who really knows the truth ae.
He needs his dad. But I would request a emergency hearing. I’m oregon I know someone who got one in 48 hours. Then that stands till you settle everything but it ensures you get your son back
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Do not give him visits untill you get full custody!! Plan and simple. Go to the courts!! Get it done first thing Monday morning
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If he is on birth certificate he can keep him up to 3 days but he can not cross states line unless he wants to go to jail. If he is a good father let him see his son. But you need to have a custody order if your this scared. Like we dont have one with my step daughter . thankfully
He could take him and then go file and have every right to keep him until custody is in order through the courts. So my opinion until its in order he visits him with you or a family member present.
If you are both on the birth certificate then you both have custody.
idk why it’s so hard to believe that in 3 years no one else besides her has ever put that baby to bed or fed him, I can say that’s true from my own experience with my own child except he’s 2, and that’s being in a happy relationship with the father who works full time and is at work during meal and nap/bedtime. You do what you think is best for your baby, if he can’t handle him an hour what makes him think he can handle 72 hours, start with day visits and go from there until a court order is in place. I’m sure they will grant him overnight visits but until then, show you’re trying to cooperate and coparent with him. the court isn’t going to look at you like you think you’re “above” the father, they’re going to see you’re doing what’s best for the child. keep all the contact between you two civil and continue to trust your gut.
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I would be very very careful. With no custody order, he doesn’t have to give you the baby back until the court tells him to. The police won’t do anything either.
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In all honesty, just because you are a female does not automatically give you custody. And if I were in your case, I’d let him go. He needs both parents and perhaps it’s you not wanting him to go not him asking too much or your son freaking out. Look at it this way, if you go to court and are granted 50-50 you would both get 3.5 days with him. You’re just going to have to woman up and deal with it.
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Question is are u toxic for each other?
Just because u two are toxic towards each other doesnt make both of u bad parents. It means ur better being alone. Doesnt make u single parents. Just not together.
Sounds like hes upset u took the child. Doesnt mean hes abusive because he didnt want to child to leave…
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Nope. That’s gonna fuck with your son so hard
Honestly… Go to court monday and FILE
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Wait for a court order before you let him take the child. Regardless of your feelings, the father deserves to see the child. Unfortunately bitter circumstances can sometimes cause one parent to not let the other parent see the children. Maybe you could let him meet where you live until there is an order in place. It is terrifying as a mother what you are going through. Trust your gut.
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Until it is court ordered do not allow it. He can hold your child and the police won’t typically get involved because there is no court order. I live in Ohio as well and have seen friends exs keep their kids until court because they felt the mom wasn’t fit. So do not listen to him and also keep emails for proof. You need all the proof you can.
Get a custody agreement first. You don’t automatically have custody. Whoever has him has custody. Tell him you wish to wait until you have a court order in place.
People fail to realize that the other parent can take said child and file an emergency order for custody pending a court date without her knowledge. It happened to a cousin of mine. I personally would tell him you are bringing the matter to court so they can decide court ordered visitation. I have seen time and again where the father or mother has taken the child and not given them back. It happens all the time. Yes, child needs both parents. But what if the other parent takes the child from the mother and keeps him or her?
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It’s about what’s best for the child and what’s best for baby is to have 50/50 not just a couple days a fortnight for dad.
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You have nothing in writing. Do not give your son to him until you go to court. Period
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Get the parenting plan done with the courts first then allow him to have him. Definitely do not let him go before the parenting plan is filed. I wish you luck
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if you allow him to have your son, he doesn’t have to give him back until you go to court for custody
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Shame on all of you women saying wait for court order! One side of the story is NOT the entire story! How would you feel if your child was being held from you!?!? They have mediators family members all kinds of options other then no child till court. I have a 3 year old daughter and her father & I haven’t always seen eye to eye. I would never hold her from him PERIOD! She is both of our child equally! Sounds like to me you should put big girl panties on and get out of your feelings and handle business!! Honestly instead of being on Facebook asking strangers what should I do 
you SHOULD USE THAT SMARTPHONE AND CONTACT SOMEONE THAT CAN HELP YOUR CHILD STAY CONNECTED TO BOTH HIS PARENTS! #ItsNotAboutYouTwoButTheChild
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In CA if there is no custody order and parents arent married…whomever has the child has the say. If my daughters dad would have taken our daughter I could not call the cops for kidnapping because there is no order to follow.
Of you’re uncomfortable with his idea ,just say NO, and go get legal help.
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With no order in place - you risk losing your child - go talk to a lawyer & say NO until you have a custody & visitation agreement in place… Your child will suffer in this…
Until there’s a legal custody order in place I wouldn’t agree to anything right now. The relationship was toxic the police got involved so you could leave how do you know he won’t harm your son? People do all kinds of things to get back at the person that left them just be careful protect yourself and your son until you get legal agreement and let the court know that the dad isn’t a nice person…just my opinion.
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In what country do u live in that you have custody automatically just because you arent married to the father?
Genuine question out of curiosity.
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Wait for a court order. You don’t automatically get custody. If he wants to, he could keep the kid and file for custody himself. The father deserves time with his kid, but you need to do it properly.
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I would tell him that you want to wait until there is a custody agreement in place but you are willing to meet him in a public place for him to visit with your child. No alone visits or overnights until a judge orders a custody agreement.
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Keep him till court, he can take him and not have to retun him till court date!!
The majority of y’all are so sad, petty, chidish, and selfish. Y’all aint got no business having kids period. That’s not her kid. Thats their kid. He has just as much right to see and spend time with that child. He isnt a stranger. He is that child’s FATHER. 
To the op he has every right to spend time with his son. He will be fine and he will get used to his FATHER putting him to bed and feeding him and etc. Don’t start out on a bad note. Don’t be selfish. Think of that baby. He isn’t a pawn. He isn’t a toy. Be an adult.
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Is he on the. If he isnt he has no rights to himbirth certificate
Your no more of a parent then he is. Mothers are not held to a higher ground. He is the kids father. With out that man, you would never have that tiny human. Maybe have something typed up and you both need to agree and sign it, for now…until theres a CO. Your son needs his dad. He will be just fine. Kid is 3…not 3 months. We have 50/50. Kids are gone from Friday-Friday…well…they used to be, but things changed. Regardless, they adapted perfectly fine. They have no issues and they LOVE seeing both parents same amount of time. Just because he was an ass to you…doesnt mean he will be an ass to his child. He loves him. Maybe by being more smooth and acceptable and agreeable with him…maybe you guys will have a better co-parenting experience. But you must leave the past behind you, and focus on what’s right in front of you. Focus on what’s going to make you child happy. Let it go. Stop trying to baby the child and allow him to grow. Dad will do fine for 3 days. It’s literally not that long.
He is the child’s father! How would you feel if you were in this position? You will end up in court and the FATHER will end up with court ordered visitation (possibly 50/50). You holding him hostage won’t change anything but him using that against you. Be an adult and co-parent, it is what is best for the child not what is best for either of you.
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Let him have his kid? Stop being vindictive
If he really hasnt helped with diapers, feedings, baths ect… has ignored the child like you say then do not send that child for 3 nights. Start with day time visits. Get to know what he is capable of first. Just because he is the father doesn’t mean he should just get what he wants. He has to man up and show he can handle it. Jesus you dont just hand a child off to a person who barley lifted a finger for them.
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Wait until a court order has been established.
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I wouldn’t let your child go unless there is a custody order in place, as mentioned many times. He can legally kidnap her from you and if he really wants to hurt you, he might do just that.
At the end of the day that would hurt your child more, so the way i see it… would be willing to risk your child possibly being legally kidnapped because you feel guilty otherwise?
Sis, keep records of all conversations and as long you are showing that you are trying to work something out with him but he doesn’t like your terms than you are fine. Protect your baby.
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Father has just as much right to have the child for overnight as you
In Ohio here, no custody order and he signed the birth certificate, he can legally take your son and not give him back until you go to court. Police won’t intervene with no custody issue in place of this happens. You can go to the court in your area and file for temporary primary custody and be granted immediately until your court date for a co parenting schedule. That way you can let him see your son but you are legally the custodial parent and he can’t keep your baby from you.
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You def don’t just have full custody bc your not married he can take your child and not give him back bc he has the same rights you do, best bet is to go to court and file for custody with visitation.
If you give him your child he could take off with them and ask court for custody since there is no court order. Before you send him anywhere with dad go to court and file for custody. Do not send with dad til the order is in place.
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Whatever state you live in the kid doesn’t have to go see his father unless the court has ruled so ,go to court and ask for sole custody with supervised visitations , if he doesn’t spend all the allowed time with the child he will lose that
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Wait for court. Until then sorry but only daytime visits; no overnights. And if he has been abusive with you in the past, you better have proof. Otherwise that he say/ she say bs isn’t going to work out in court.
Keep all messages, evidence etc. when you do file for custody. My sons father knows nothing about him an doesn’t attempt to either. He only mentions oh you like this or that if it’s brought up at visitation. But yet him an his family (cause he lives with his parents and un-capable of living on his own) think he needs joint custody. They only want joint for the government benefits. But I’ve got tons of evidence, his visitations are only 2 hrs 1 day a month ( if he doesn’t post-pone as he puts it; which he has 4 times this yr). Get a custody agreement then file or file and agree in a court/mediation setting. My exes family is narcissist, there just doing it to get back at me. Hopefully he isn’t like that. Good luck
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If he is on the birth certificate then you have equal rights. Nobody has more rights than the other. You would have to go to a mediator or court to put a visitation/custody agreement in place that neither can disobey. However that being said. If he did take the child and refuse to give him back until court there is nothing that can be done because of the equal rights to the child.
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Do NOT let him take him and go file NOW
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No, tell he can have him for the day but bring him home until hes older and he gets used to being with him.
Go to court ASAP and get paperwork for custodial parent because nothing is written down. He can take off with your son add you can’t say anything. Run don’t walk to courthouse and get it done. Than if he wants him let him take you to court for joint custody. And who did he plan on have play, feed , bathe and put to bed your son for those days???
God some of the women on here are wretched lol. I dont think I could ever possibly post a question to this page. I’d be too scared I’d get completely torn down and made to feel like an idiot or a piece of shit by all of these holier than thou, perfect mommies that seems to be all over the place. My god is there even an admin or a moderator for this page? Sometimes the comment sections in these posts are out of damn control, kinda like this one is starting to be. Ridiculous.
Back to the post- the only thing this woman needs to do is contact a lawyer. She needs a custody and visitation agreement in place, POINT, BLANK, PERIOD, END OF FUCKING STORY. It protects all parties involved and it’s what will be best for your child. Until you have one in place, dad can see baby whenever he wants, so long as you are around to supervise. This has zero to do with dads not getting equal rights or whatever bullshit you people keep blabbing on about. The woman clearly stated several times that shes not trying to keep her child away from the father and she doesnt want to be uncooperative, but she is concerned about the comfort level of her child being without the one and only person who has done literally everything for them from day one. Idk about the rest of you bitches, but personally I too would be nervous if my child had only ever been away from me for a few hours and just handed them off to someone, who let’s be real, is practically a stranger, and said okay see ya in a few days. If you ladies could seriously just so easily hand your kid over to someone like that, father or not, then I question your love for your child. I think its cruel and incredibly scary for that poor baby to just be handed over to someone for a few whole days when that baby doesnt hardly know the person. ADD TO THAT the fact that this guy clearly is abusive and manipulative and could just be planning to kidnap the kid to hurt the mom…AND she even stated that the dude couldnt even handle the child for an hour and you think it would just be all hunky dory to leave the kid with him for 3 WHOLE DAYS!!! Like I said, you bitches be crazy.
You should be asking an attorney, NOT FACEBOOK !
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Let him have hia child too.
Do what you’re comfortable with.
Wait until custody has been established. If need be see if you can set up temporary visitation with you and a 3 party present. I live in Ohio too. I honestly wouldn’t trust him he may try to keep him.
Dont let him go until there is a custody order because (at least here), he doesnt have to give him back.
However, you’re going to have to just accept that you’re only half of your childs life. He has 2 parents and the father has a legal right to him. Chances are, the father will have overnights with him. And that’s a GOOD thing. You can have a break, and your child will still grow up with 2 parents involved. Dont be one of those selfish moms that keeps the child from the dad. Your problems with him are YOUR problems. The relationship between the child and dad are separate and its important. Being civil to each other, and co parenting, is the best thing you all can do for your childs well-being.
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Whoever told you that you automatically have custody is full of crap.
Allow visits, get custody papers filed…work with the ex not against him and do the right thing for your child and co parent
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Don’t do it- do what is best for your son until an over is in place. Explain all that you explained in court as to why.
When you file for an order- write it all in it so that way it’s already documented. Eben include in there the details of the toxic relationship as to why you left. How it all went down.
Your number 1 priority is your childs safety, dont let him play that baby like a pawn.
I have seen it posted already but do not let him take your son until you have a custody arrangement in place. In almost every state if he is his biological parent he doesn’t have to give him back unless you have LEGAL custody. Offer him supervised visitation if he truly wants to see your son until you have legal custody and visitation established. I would take that time to set up child support as well.
You have to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about your kid! It’s your child’s right to spend time with his dad even overnight . You guys decided to split up and change his life so now let him get used to living with you both separately.i help coparent my step kids we have a similar schedule and those kids are truly happy all four of us parents have an amazing relationship and kids get the best of both sides! You have to be adults now and remember it’s the children’s right to have a happy childhood and not worry about not seeing their parents.
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I think he should ease his way into it. If you have never been away from your son then chances are that he doesn’t know much about him. Go slow don’t rush 3 nights in a row.
If there’s no reason to fear for your child’s safety let him take him. Give yourself a break and have some me time. Try to handle parenting between you two civilly without letting the courts involved.
Until rights are established only supervised visits if he has documentation that he is the father… He can legally keep ur child until it’s established if he wanted. I would tell him this and explain this among all of what you have said. I wouldn’t leave ur son unattended with him. That’s gambling with not only you not seeing him until established in court but also ur son going through any number of things.
lots of people divirced divorced with agreement in place do not get a child for that long a time at one time
Court first. Sounds like he wants to avoid child support. Little does he know he’ll spend more taking care of your child!
Do not let him have the child before you go to court. Go for full custody or supervised visits by dad only, as he sounds neglectful & volatile.
Get child support. He may not pay it, but get it on record. Document all the reasons he should not have custody. The police getting involved is definitely in your favor. Get any witnesses to his neglectful/disrespectful/toxic behavior to back you up so it’s not just a “he said/she said situation.
Get everything legally done. Dot your “i’s” and cross your “t’s.” Do not say anything bad about your ex in front of the child. Then he has no power over you.
Well, technically, the person in possession of the child can keep said child. He doesn’t technically have to give the kid back to you. SO, I would recommend going to court asap and filing for emergency custody. Don’t keep his kid from him once it’s in place, but until then, be careful.
It sounds like you already know what’s best for your son don’t second guess yourself because you are worried about what the court might think believe me they are not that worried about you. Put your son first if you feel your x is not looking out for you sons best interests I would not leave him overnight with him .
Go immediately to the court house and file for temporary custody until the matter can be handled in the courts. He has as much right to the child as you do right now so he could take the child and keep him away from you. Do NOT hand over the child to him.
GET a LAWYER like NOW!
You do not automatically have custody because you weren’t married.
Please research your state law.
For example in MD if you have a child out of wedlock, You are NOT automatically the custodial parent as you each have rights and you have to establish custody because MD follows Ecclesiastical Law.
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If I were you I would get a custody agreement. Usually they let them see the kids,every weekend or every other weekend. My brother was able to see his,every other weekend,and certain holidays. If you are worried he might harm him then go with your instincts. It is hard. He is,the,father., but he,has to be a decent one.
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Read Ohio revised code 3109.042. Unmarried mother with a child from the relationship has automatic custody and is residential parent. However you NEED to get a legal, binding court order with visitation for the father that is age appropriate for the child and you need to do this sooner than later! Good luck!
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Be smart and do what’s best for your child. Remember that you actually cared for the man enough to make another human life, so just keep that in mind so you don’t end up using your son as a way to hurt each other. Also, if you are going to co-parent, you both have to be involved because otherwise it would be single parenting.
I have news for you - you do not automatically have custody of your child in Ohio…I know this because of a situation with a family member. You need to go and file for legal and physical custody of the child or he has just as much right to keep the child as you do. Please, do not wait - our family member kept thinking she could just work it out informally but he filed for custody first and was able to take Julie from her mom and she couldn’t get her back until they had a court date that was 5 weeks away. Don’t let that happen to you!
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Why is the first thing is lawyer up or go to court. If you honestly feel your ex will harm the child, do you honestly feel he will take and keep you son from you? Think about this if he has any of these intentions then no piece of paper is going to stop it. Sure it well cause legal issues for him but the damage is already done. As parents hopefully you can agree your son needs both of you especially if his world is be changed so much. You and the father could go to a mediator or if possible and work out visitation support and yourselfs it will be less stressful for everyone especially your child and it will save money that could be spent on your son. Giving trust and respect has to start somewhere with someone this also shows your son that he is not responsible for dad not there and that he is still loved by both of you. Now if you have doubts about his dad using your son to manipulate you then lawyer up and please try and make your break up a totally different thing the you both being good parents. Good luck and I know that most won’t agree with me sorry but at least. I hate seeing children being used as a pawn in their mom and dad’s relationships
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Allowing your child to continue the relationship with his father is best. It’s not about you. The situation has changed so you may as well start getting along where it concerns your child. You’re Both his parents and are equally important to the man he will become. Keep adult issues out of it. Children have a right to equal parenting whenever possible.
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- I agree that it is important for your son to have dad time. On the other hand. He could take him and not give him back and there would be nothing you could do unless you go to court.
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It’s just as much his son so it is fair to let him go. Just be available and tell the dad to call h if your son needs u. He will be fine honestly it will probably effect u more just keep yourself busy
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