Girl you a damn fool, get a job, put baby in daycare, save up and leave.
So many people who have never been there, will give you the craziest advice. Omgoodness. If you have any domestic violence shelters in your area, please go to one, because he is controlling you. And your son sees it, and will continue the pattern.
3 Likes
Idk about your area or where you are, but if you’re in the states some states you can go to your local DHS office and get a stipend to help you get out of your current situation. Last i knew Oregon gives about $1,000 to people in domestic violence or abuse situations and helps them apply for housing, child support, food and more.
2 Likes
Why in the world do you permit this? How can he prevent you from working? Just do it. Get a job and stand on your own two feet
4 Likes
You are his EX. Move out. Don’t you have relatives you can go to for a little while? He doesn’t want you to work because he would have to take care of his kid. Go out, get a job. He’s home so just do it
1 Like
Start looking for a job even a work from home one save you some $ and leave. You’re basically a human slave being put down by someone who doesn’t do any of the things you do but has the audacity to criticize you. Don’t let your kid(s) see being treated that way show then how strong you are.
He won’t let you work?
Not trying to bully you, but you teach people how to treat you.
Start looking for a job.
You can pay 1/2 of the rent and he can pay 1/2 the daycare.
3 Likes
You’re going to have to get a job, he can not stop you. Stop letting him and stop using him as an excuse. You have been in this situation for years it’s time to move on
1 Like
Girl you gotta get a job and do you. Stop feeling like your son won’t be taken care of! Honestly there are plenty of us that have been where your at. First thing you need to do is get out of that situation…
1 Like
If u are NOT together he wouldn’t stop me from working or anything! Go to food pantry and ask for personal stuffif anyone else is not working fall behind on choirs and let them help! If they fuss so what!
You need to get a job to support yourself and kid
2 Likes
Start a business and leave him. This is not at all he sounds like a child your only taking care of in your own home. I would also get a restraining order on him incase he tries something.
Go to job and family you can get a subsidized home with zero rent food assistance and.cash assistance for you and ur son. Get out.call ur local woman’s shelter.
1 Like
Go get a job and make your exit plan, just you and your son. File for child support, medical assistance, food and housing assistance. You don’t need him or deserve the BS that comes with it. Good luck.
3 Likes
What Do You Mean “ Won’t Let You Work “ ?
7 Likes
See if you can get Section 8 housing. There maybe a waiting list but get signed up now. Try to get food stamps. And maybe a part time job. I sorry your going through this. But you got to get out of that situation. See if you can get free day care too. If you have family asks if they can help you in some way.
1 Like
With him being laid off now’s your chance to go get a job and get yourself established, put money back to get out on your own, use local resources, never rely solely on a Man, especially one that your not with, it’s gonna come to head eventually take this opportunity to get on your feet, even in a happy relationship you always should have your own because you never know what the future can bring, always prepare for the worst
There are women shelters you can move into that will help you get into ur feet
5 Likes
I work from home, maybe that would be a good idea for you to start off working from home. Is your kid in school ??
Ok listen this is really sad and it happens…go to DHS they will help you get started. You are not there maid or slave…
3 Likes
Why can’t you make money?
God how close this hits my heart… Sending prayers and support wish I had advice
1 Like
Get a job and move period. Millions of single parents do it so can you. Go file for child support food stamps and any other programs in your area to help that’s what they are there for. You are the reason your stuck if you want to do it you will. Just bc you still live together doesn’t mean he is responsible for you and it should be the same for you you don’t need to cook or clean for him.
4 Likes
Omg people are just so un- empathetic! If you’ve never been in the situation, don’t tell her that “you wouldn’t stand for it” because you have no idea how vicious the situation is.
12 Likes
Stop doing things for him and see how fast he realizes how much you do. I have a toxic malicious roommate(also my landlord, that’s where the problem is) and I do everything, the house is so terrible inside and out I can only do so much. I stopped doing anything except clean up after myself. So my spaces are clean and I clean the kitchen after I use it. But I refuse to do more anymore
1 Like
Curious how you guys established that he’s your Ex?
1 Like
Does he see other woman?
He’s an asshole for not even buying you pads or tampons, any decent person should do thst for someone they once cared about. However, you guys ARENT together, you don’t sleep together or do anything else together so why exactly should he be doing anything extra financially for you? he is the one paying the bills, putting food in the fridge and on the table etc. Stop the self victimization, get a job even a part time one, that would help you cover extra expenses that he is not willing to pay and then you start planning your next move. And if you left why wouldnt you take your son with you? You said if you leave your son wouldnt be taken care of… I have no idea why you guys have been split for so long and are still in this situation, as much as you think and feel he’s using you I GUARANTEE he feels the exact same way. Get your priorities strait and set a plan in motion, there is housing and childcare available by the govt for people who don’t have alot of money, especially with him being laid off you would be eligible. If you ask me, now is the time to act.
Get out! Get child support and your son is 4, they have free head start programs for him to start school. You can work during that time. You need that freedom and independence. Sounds like you are enslaved atm. Not ok! Hugs
3 Likes
This whole story starter with ‘still great friends’
You need a reality check about friendship!
Pls leave and take care of you and your son yourself
6 Likes
I can see why he’s your EX.
4 Likes
Your son is 4. Enroll him in FREE headstart and find a part time job during those times. This will get you out of the house and earn you enough money to have your basic essentials covered. Next year he can start kindergarten full-time and you can then work fulltime so you can eventually get your own place. If he decides to charge you rent then yoi charge him for services. Also by then you’ll be able to apply for different programs to help you get into your own place
5 Likes
I would get a job. You are a slave.
2 Likes
Sounds like you’re a prisoner and you’re not allowed to work you’re not together take you and your son to a freaking shelter or something just get out you’re as freaking slave and is not even giving you anything that you need that’s crazy you need to find someone to talk to and to help you escape my gosh I’m so sorry you’re going through things that’s so freaking horrible don’t leave your child there he’s a narcissist your child will turn into one too or be abused
1 Like
If you two aren’t in a relationship he really doesn’t have an obligation to you, only to his son. This should be a roommate arrangement. Get a job, pay half the bills, and do what you please. Your child is four and should be in pre k now, so you have free time to work a job while he’s at school. When you get a job, cook only for you and your child, clean up only your messes. Or find your own place.
8 Likes
What in the jerry springer is going on
1 Like
He won’t let you!? Girl find a job or assistance and move… find your peace!
4 Likes
There are options. Hit me up if you are truly interested in a change.
4 Likes
Please get out of his house…go speak to your social service office they can help you get the ball rolling.
Call the local Jr College. Apply for fasa and get a certificate. Will help with a good paying job and living expenses too. Call the local women’s aide groups for info and support. They know! Get on a housing waiting list for future openings. Lists are usually long.You can apply for public assistance possibly even cash. If you have an income you can build on it. Places will help with deposits. Find a way to earn income! I stayed at home did all as so and I still found ways to contribute financially!
Go to a woman’s shelter, with your son. Get a job, apply for food/cash assistance/child support, and start saving.
It’s gonna be hard, and it’s gonna suck. But, for your mental health you need to get out.
Your son is also at the age that he can go to preK, or you can get daycare help. Buy, you need to get out.
Get help love from citizens advice or somewhere get you and your kids away from him x
Leave NOW! Go to a shelter and get treated better!
Girlfriend, I like to tell you is you ought to see what the truth is it’s right in front of your nose I’ve been through this crap and well maybe not that bad but I think you better go or call & don’t give up trying there will be someone to talk to soon or later to help you call a lawyer & explain or ask them how do go about getting a Pro- Bona Lawyer & a phone number for this cuz you’ll come out smelling like a rose believe this he’s nothing but a big bully very inconsiderate with a greedy heart and it’s only going to get worse and with these people moving in it’s really going to get worse he’s trying to get you to leave and do it the easy to say you deserted him that way he has a better chance of not paying you or you getting the house since he want let you work you probably can get alimony from him take notes go see an attorney or call sometimes you can get a Pro Bono Attorney they ate free you can call and ask about that and if you strike out keep trying cuz eventually you’ll find one that will do pro bono and for you or a lawyer may just take your case on a hardship plan I would ask the Attorney & tell him me & my child are in a really bad relationship with this guy anĺ I’ll be darn if I would be the one not not this chick please believe me you’ve got a whole life in front of you and I know that you can’t see it but you’re going to have to just toughen up and you’re going to have to put your foot down and you don’t have to tell him nothing but just get working on another plan and get the Haiti out of there and take the child with you but I would get a lawyer pro bono like I said before I do this and I wouldn’t tell nobody about it it may take a while to get one but you need to hang in there and get out of this lifestyle because there’s better waiting on you good luck my friend
Not your man= not his choice!
Your man= STILL not his choice!
If you had it easy you’d at LEAST have pads! That’s b.s period! & I wouldn’t put up with any of that from my man let alone someone I no longer am intimate with! You need to leave, get a job and live your life!
1 Like
Girl, start looking for at home jobs that supply the equipment and start saving your money up and get out of that toxic environment. As far as the chickens go, those are not yours and they are not your responsibility so stop taking care of them. Simple as that. He thinks you have it so easy because you make home life so easy for him so stop doing absolutely anything for him. You cook for you and your child and that is it. You clean up after you and your son and that is it. Make him do his own laundry and cook for himself and clean his own house up. It’s a different story when they have to take care of themselves.
2 Likes
This won’t change if you don’t get a job. At 4 years old you can enroll him in school and work while he’s out. Or live with your parents. So your ex is out having fun with God knows who and he is comfortable knowing that he has a maid at home.
And isn’t that why you guys are ex??? SEPERATE
You’re not his door mat and slave just do for you and your baby
Go to food stamp office and DHHR tell them the situation and ask for help they will help you .
Hope you’re not just doing or saying this for attention
That’s mental abuse he’s controlling you
1 Like
So many people telling her to get a job when she may not have access to a car. I was in a domestic violence situation and we would take my car so I couldn’t leave and so he knew I would stay home and clean, cook, take care of the kids ext. It’s easy to get this situation because it happens over time. Reach out to a DV hotline or shelter, they will be able to help get you back on your feet and a job. You don’t want your son seeing this as a normal lifestyle and way to treat females. My son was young when all of this happened but his behavior then vs now is completely day and night. Stay safe mama.
1 Like
He is not a friend he is not a coparent. Leave. They make shelters for people in your situation that will help you! Take your child with you. Document everything and take his sorry ass to court!
1 Like
Are you on any service? For food maybe medical? Your on some technology seek for help in your community . See if their are groups in your area that will help you for necessity stuff you need. Get all your things ready and leave. Your son is watching these behavior and is soaking it all in…
You need to leave!!! You’ll get treated better living in a shelter.
2 Likes
I seriously thought this was a joke post.
There are so many free programs for single mothers to help you get started. Honey, he will have to pay child support and his share of the health care. If at one time you were married, there’s alimony. There is absolutely no excuse for you living like this or for your child to witness how his mother is being treated. He will learn this behavior and treat people the way your Ex is treating you or worse…he will become you and always be down on himself and live this same life.
Leave that loser. A cardboard box under a bridge would beat this lifestyle you’re living.
2 Likes
Oh honey, the fact that he won’t buy feminine hygiene is super duper über abusive. Do door dash and hand your son with you, buy yourself necessities, and GTFO!!! 
2 Likes
He won’t “let you” is abuse. Contact a woman shelter for help
18 Likes
Wait…so ya’ll aren’t together and you say he won’t let you work??? Why are you allowing him to control you? I get you need a place for you and your son to live but you need to gain your own independence. Go out and get you a job, save money and get out! Stop letting him control you!!!
10 Likes
Ur son is old enough to go to school so u can get a job… there is always ways to leave… government assistance is there for u… I would suggest to go to a shelter close by (hopefully there is a woman’s shelter close to u) they usually help to get u on ur feet and help with directing u on the right path on what u should do next… good luck
2 Likes
Nothings gonna change until you make a change. It’ll just get worse. with that being said my heart breaks for you and if you need something like basic necessities don’t be afraid to hit up my inbox
4 Likes
Kick his ass out!! Co parent living seperately 
You need to look into local resources & make some calls. Get on state assistance for you & your son only & go on housing wait lists if you have to. Is your son not old enough to do pre-k if you’re in the states? That would allow you to work some. Where I live, SAHMs have the best luck being bus drivers because they’re allowed to take the little ones on the bus with you & still bring in income.
2 Likes
Don’t take care of ANYTHING that has to do with him, besides the kid. DON’T do his damn laundry, only do yours & your Childs. DON’T do his damn dishes & DON’T cook for him. ONLY cook enough food for you & the kid, then do those dishes. Try to find side jobs that you can take your kid with you to (you’d be surprised at how many are fine with it), & TRY to find a work from home possibility. Your son will start school soon, & that will help with trying to find a job. Apply for food stamps & cash assistance now. As far as having some time to yourself, even if you spend no money, just do it. He will take care of his child while you are gone. What he is doing is financial abuse, & emotional/psychological as well. Start taking steps NOW, & try reaching out to the ACT shelters hotline & explain your situation, they will let you know what available resources there are for you & the child. Good luck mama!!
3 Likes
Get in touch with UC and your local council for somewhere to live. Get yourself set up, pack you and your son up and leave. You are not co-parenting you are a slave and can do better.
2 Likes
He is 100% abusing you.
3 Likes
“He won’t let me get a job.” Wtf, 
. Just go get one. Why are YOU letting him stop u? Why are u abiding by him saying no? This sounds like a fishy story.
U should go to ur local welfare office and ask them to help u with paying for daycare. Explain that u want to work full time but that u have a small child. Then ask that they cover the cost of daycare so u can look for a job and obtain employment. There are programs through welfare that do this. That’s how I did it when i first became a single mom and needed to find a job. Then once u get ur kiddo in daycare, and secure a job, u can find a room for rent and move out.
17 Likes
Do you hear yourself? He won’t let you work he won’t let you do this etc etc he is not your man you said so yourself at the beginning of your post go get a job and move the hell out
8 Likes
This is some great advice from.quite a few people…start off with believing in yourself and you’ll be able to do what you need to do for yourself and your son. Good luck. Sending prayers
You are giving your son a very bad example of how he is to treat others. You need to leave or be ready for a life of regrets.
7 Likes
Aww I’m so sorry, do you have a friend of family you can stay with while you tryin to get back to work til you settle down. You need to leave with your son. He will realize what you done when you’re gone. Praying for better days
Although I feel for you. You need to get you a
job so that you can take of your son and yourself, you can still co parent, you have become a dependent of his. As a Mother you have have responsibilities. As a woman, you shouldn’t be depending upon a man to take care of you, and you surely shouldn’t depend on him to purchase your sanitary products.
1 Like
Go into a shelter. Put your son in school. Work while he’s in school.
4 Likes
Ring the DePaul house. Theyll house you
Your gonna regret this and all the time you wasted with him when you finally get the courage to leave. Do it now he can’t just kick you out get that job & get OUT FAST!
1 Like
Girl stop letting you his boy run your life. He can’t “let you” do or not do anything. If you have to take your kid and go to a shelter, do it. Just get out asap.
1 Like
If you research in your area there are organizations that will help you get the basic needs met especially sanitary supplies.
This is financial abuse. Get out of this situation.
1 Like
“Great friends” my ass! Get out while you can!
What u allow, is what will continue… I do agree he’s not responsible to provide anything for you, as your not together. He has a duty to provide for your son but u do also. U need to get a job so u can save your own money so u can live on your own. You could get state assistance once your on your own, but nothing is going to change until u have a job and start providing for yourself.
5 Likes
Girlfriend GET OUT BY ANY MEANS POSSIBLE!!! Call your local Womens, Domestic Violence & homeless shelters. Tell them your emotionally & mentally abused. Get housing placement even if that means you and your son have to live in a shelter for a little time. All the materialistic things he has like toys , ect can be replaced. Most shelters will also help you get furniture and beds once you find a place to go in their program. I’m a social worker for the homeless here in AZ… most programs run 90 days. Let me tell you those 90 days go by fast and it is so worth it to get you on your feet not only for your son but for your mental health to be the best version of yourself.He’s four years old. He won’t remember this time and he will bounce back just fine.
Also call DES and apply for childcare now so once your ready to go you will be able to put your child somewhere while you look for work.
Stay strong, RISE UP & safe mama!
4 Likes
Even call your local city hall for resources. You need to get yourself out. Your child can be in school. Again, city hall will be able to give you a number. You needto geta job. City hall will have a basic resourcenumbet, or apply for a city job at city hall!
1 Like
Do u have family you can move in with to get away?
Sweetheart, he’s getting all the benefits of a live-in maid for nothing. GET OUT! Especially if you’re not getting anything out of the deal. It may take time, but there are programs out there…TANF, SNAP, HUD, the list goes on. Start looking into them and do what you need to do. You are a human being who deserves to be validated and entitled to basic decency.
4 Likes
Your story is a little confusing. On one hand you all him your ex, then on another you talk about how he hasn’t touched you or bought you necessities like pads. An ex isn’t obligated to buy anything for you personally… but if you are calling him that just because he’s not intimate but you two are still together and he’s treating you like this, then that’s abuse. He’s mentally abusive and neglecting you. You need to start by first gathering information. Start looking into local women’s shelters, charities in your neighborhood and secretly start calling and asking questions about what they can do to help you. Be honest with them and tell them your living situation. Good luck!!
2 Likes
Find a shelter in your area.
Go get a job, save that &$$. You need out of that situation!! That’s ridiculous.
Hon they only do what we let them… have a set down. Discuss what will benefit the both of you. Let him know what did work works no longer… stand your ground… you give an inch and he’ll take a mile…
Hope y’all can work this out .
He won’t let you work ? Get a part time job while ur son goes to school. Once you have an income stop looking after your ex. Don’t cook him food, don’t clean his mess. Do ur sons washing and your own and leave his there. There has to be help I your area to walk away from this. That is abuse love. Don’t put up with it. Walk away 
you are better than that xx
We have a bunch of toiletries that I was going to look for a Woman’s home or shelter to donate them to but if I can have an address to send them to I will clothes size? Message me?
6 Likes
Imo, that’s your choice of life. Get up and get out. Find a job and be independent! If you are not in a relationship, he is not responsible for you and you are not for him. Stop doing what you do! When u find a jib, leave the child and go out to work and come back. He cannot lock u out nor can he claim abandonment. It’s his child. If u feel he can’t pride child care…apply for public benefits.
1 Like
Pack a bag each and leave on the way to school or preschool watch them die of shock when they see the maids gone get to a shelter police station will guide you in right direction for a safe home the caretaker of shelter will help you every step of the way.
1 Like
Thats abuse and you are allowing it to happen! Get out
He’s a hobosexual take your kid and run. Chances are he’s sleeping with your brothers ex. This is messy and This is abuse
2 Likes
He is almost in school, keep track of everything he does, record as well, keep a calender. Out an application in hissing because the list gets long, when you get that call for an interview for housing move out when it comes to that. Try using texting so you have proof. Examples getting him to admit that he doesn’t help with your son. Most likely you have to have some kind of income to get into housing so start to babysit so you have some kind of income the amount does not mater. If there is a way to get out sooner do it. Also call housing to see if theybhave emergency housing and see what needs to be done to get that. Good luck
Thats financial and mental abuse from someone you aren’t even with.
Nothing will get done if you dont make the first step, its hard I know, but if there’s a will there’s a way.
Sometimes we have to make ourselves uncomfortable to get comfortable if you know what I mean
1 Like
Put your son in preschool, then apply to as many jobs as you can, then take his ass to court for financial abuse and child support.
First of all he isn’t the boss of you. Go get a job and leave.
3 Likes
Get ahold of family services. They may give a place to live. Get a job, raise your baby
You can work if he’s laid off and home. Try donating plasma for some easy money for the small stuff. This is 100% not okay or healthy.
1 Like
Sounds like it’s time but then big girl panties and get a job and move out
1 Like
Find the nearest Women’s Shelter and just leave. They will help you with everything xx
3 Likes
Yeah no. You are a house slave. You need to make a plan, go get a job and not let him tell you what you can or can’t do.