How do I explain to my ex-boyfriend’s mom that while I value her opinion and advice and whatnot, I don’t always want it? (I’ll explain the situation with the ex-boyfriend at the end of this) His mom is a wonderful woman. But SO, overbearing. While he and I were together, she was constantly on his bank account, asking about this and that. And in his emails asking about this and that. And I would call me 500 times if he didn’t answer his phone or text her back. She lost her mind when he moved out and in with me. When he joined the navy, she got PISSED that he sent me letters and called me every chance he got. She was constantly asking to read the letters and demanded to know what we spoke about. And now that I’m pregnant, she’s so much worse. She won’t quit asking if she can go to the doctor’s appointment that shows us the gender of the baby. He and I have both told her no numerous times, but she won’t quit. She keeps touching my stomach even after being told that I’m uncomfortable being touched by anyone. She threw a fit and said, “Well, what can I do?” And he basically said, “Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” She acts like I’m killing the baby if I drink coffee. Which the OB said was fine. And she lost her mind when I said I don’t want anyone but her son in the delivery room and that we won’t be accepting visitors while I’m in the hospital. “It’s my grandchild. I deserve to be there.” She gets very upset and starts crying if I don’t tell her every little thing about my doctor appointments and whatnot. Her son and I aren’t together anymore. But we still live together and get along perfectly fine. We’re best friends. We aren’t together because the relationship just wasn’t working. It wasn’t a bad break up. We still love each other; we just don’t work together. He’s such a wonderful person and has been super supportive during the pregnancy, but she always asks him if he’s sure I won’t take off with the baby. And isn’t happy with the way I’m handling my pregnancy. She’s made it clear she hates the baby names we’ve picked out and won’t stop trying to get us to change them. I’m close to my wit’s end. Any advice? I’ve tried being nice about things. And he’s tried to tell his mom to back off. But nothing has worked. She’s stressing me out.
Cut her off, that’s just toxic
Literally just snap. Tell her jts YOUR child and she has NO say. People don’t respect boundaries and it’s so ridiculous that they have to ruin your experience because they’re selfish. I go through similar things and it drives me insane what I want for myself and my child can’t be respected. Just simply tell her if she can’t be respectful of what you want she doesn’t need to be involved.
I’d tell her either stop now before she never sees that baby.
Tell her to mind her own business. If y’all don’t put a stop to that behavior now it’ll get way worse when the baby is born. As for the hospital. Tell the nurses you do not want visitors or anyone else but your ex in the delivery room. They’ll keep people out. I wouldn’t even announce the birth until you got home from the hospital if it was me.
darling she’s handing you the scissors just go ahead and cut ties very simple sorry that she’s being such a bitch but you don’t need the stress while you are pregnant
She sounds like she has a lot of mental issues going on in her head and needs help. I’d personally cut her off and you and your child’s father both move further away. Your relationship could have ended because of all the stress of his mother. Sometimes moving away and cutting ties helps other things fall into place. I definitely wouldn’t trust someone like that with my child.
Sounds like you should start being “mean” about it and finally put your foot down. Tell her to knock it off, its your child, your friendship/relationship with the father and she has no reason to up your ass the way shes trying to be. Goodluck but imo you gotta do whats best for you, fuck her feelings
Change your #, tell him to change his # and email passwords. Who is this woman? She is psychotic.
Your not with him anymore. Let him handle her. Distance yourself and cut her off.
Both my mom and my mil overstepped boundaries with our kids. You have to put your foot down. The sooner the better. I let it go on for far too long before standing up for myself. You don’t need to be rude but you do need to tell her that yes this is her grandchild. However her name will not be on that birth certificate. Therefore she does not get a say in the delivery, in the name or how you raise your child. Explain that you are asking her very nicely to please step back and be respectful of the choices you and her son are making or you will have keep your distance as she is stressing you out big time and it’s very unhealthy for the baby. Also one of the best things I ever said is thanks for your opinions but if I want them I will ask for them. If I don’t ask please keep them to yourself.
You need to set her straight. Now.
Tell her to stop or your filing a pfa for harassment
She’s got issues big time I’m guessing shes one of those mothers that have a hard time letting her child grow up.
Pur your foot down and tell her to butt out of your business stop asking about everything she doesn’t need to know.
Make it clear to her she is over stepping the mark
She needs to back off. You can’t deal with this much stress when you’re pregnant
She definitely sounds like a narcissist, making YOUR pregnancy about HER.
Put your foot down and tell her that it is YOUR child, not hers, and if she doesn’t back off then she’s cut out of your life and your childs life. Tell your ex about it too, no doubt he will side with you on it too
Grandparents have no rights to the baby, it’s not their baby! Tell her she needs to back off or she won’t be welcome around the child.
She needs to be told to mind her own business or she will not be a part of that childs life. You need to set boundaries know before the baby is born. And the frist time she crosses does boundaries you cut her off.
Get you a man that doesn’t have a family 🤷:joy:… Seriously though at least she shows interest she’s in the very small percentage of grandparents that actually care. How bad would you feel if you were completely alone? I used to work in a hospital I saw MANY a woman usually young go into maternity ALONE give birth ALONE leave the hospital with a newborn ALONE.No husband,no baby daddy no family or extended family. Point being YES it’s annoying but at least she cares cutt her some slack and continue to drill it in you need some space for yourself but DON’T resent her for it because it sounds like she’s just a mama bear that doesn’t accept her son’s grown now.
I would tell it’s not her baby and if she wishes to be apart of their life then to keep out of it and back off x
I’d stay away from her. Sounds way too stressful for me.
You and him need to move far away. This is about to get so much worse
As a unit, not just you, has to tell her to back off. And hold her to it. If she doesn’t block her from everything and let her son deal w it
Also… thank goodness she’s not going to be your mother in law.
… Put some baby powder on your hand… And PIMP SLAP THE BITCH. Even if you two were together you have fucking clear boundaries and she needs to be put in her fucking place.
Sometimes you have to STOP being nice. There’s people in this world who don’t understand boundaries and refuse to stop pushing until you break! My advice: tell her straight out how you feel, no cut cards! Its already so apparent that she isn’t going to let up even after her son has told her too. You just might have to hurt her feelings and even though that may not be your intentions it might be the only thing that makes her step back!
Why is the solution always to leave or shun the opposing person??? That’s all you “Mamas” ever throw up as a solution LEAVE,CUTT the family member out of the picture! , LEAVE your spouse, y’all are ridiculous sometimes I hope these posts are made up scenarios because y’all be giving some childish ass advice.
Put your foot down. Start rubbing her belly to see if she likes it. Make sure the nurses and doctors know she isn’t allowed in the delivery room. You’re the momma. Put on that Mom Face and hold your ground.
Go hide from her:joy:
Girl you are going to be in so much drama when this baby is born …you do know that she is going to interfere in every decision you make about raising this child …better let her know and understand her place now or she won’t be part of the babies life …as for the belly next time she goes to touch you flip out on her than maybe she will get the hint
Girl I feel your pain. My boyfriend’s mom was pissed off about the girls name we picked (which the baby ended up being a boy). But once we told her the whole name… She threw a fit and said it was “TOO” long and that we needed to change it. That being said, I would tell her she is stepping over that fine line and if she keeps it up… You will no longer talk to her. She has no right to tell you what you can and can not do unless its life threatening. If it continues stop having contact with her. Block her phone number and if she has any soical media, block her as well. But thats oy if she doesn’t listen.
It sounds to me as tho your situation with her son is making her insecure.
You are not in a relationship with him, but you are living together
You can’t be together, but you are playing at being a family.
So when your baby comes along, and things get really tough, your whining about your ex boyfriends mum will be the least of your problems, because which one of you will move out first. It won’t be you with the baby, will it?
No, and this is what’s making her clingy and insecure.
Why don’t you try and develop a relationship with her, this may come in handy.
Why don’t you reassure her that if anything happens between you and her son, she will still get to see her grandchild? Or do her feelings not matter, just yours
Speak with her properly, and explain that you are not marrying her son, but he is the father of your child and you want to speak about the future. Let her help you.
Also their is no mention of your mum, can she not help you?
I would have flipped out on her by now. So good for you for staying cool. But honestly you need to put your foot down. Let the drs and hospital know that no one except your ex is allowed any where near your room till you leave. That way if she shows up and refuses to leave they will have security escort her out. If you don’t want her at specific appts the don’t tell her when they are. If she continues to be nosy about it all and not wanting to stop then keep her in the dark. Don’t tell her when you have appts don’t tell her what was said at any appt. I wouldn’t even say anything when you go in labor. It may be hard but wait till the day you go home to announce your baby’s birth.
Slap her hands if she tries to touch you. You sound pretty laid back and your requests are reasonable so if you don’t check her crazy you’re gonna be dealing with it for 18 years.
she can cry about it, you’re the parent you have final say
No clue. I would’ve loved the family to be so involved. While pregnant it might’ve been annoying. Write her a letter since she can’t hear you when you talk lol
I’d cut off contact with her. If he shares shit he can endure the outcome. This is your pregnancy and you should be happy and comfortable. If she’s coming over, leave. Tell the hospital in ADVANCE you do not want HER - by name - in the room until you’ve given an ok. Your ex can’t overrule you, he isn’t the husband he’s the dad. She’s insane and needs to learn boundaries.
Overstepping boundaries until you need a babysitter. Either cut her off and dont expect anything or figure out a way to let grandma play a role without being so aggressive about it. Also learn to let shit go.
That’s it, I’m Mother-in-law shaming join this group!!
but sounds like you need to stop being nice and put some boundaries in place, just straight up tell her how it’s gonna be and if she doesn’t like it oh well also sounds like she needs an information diet, stop telling her every little detail and only big things! and if she oversteps any boundaries just cut all contact for a while and she’ll learn eventually
Time to cut ties
Dang is this her only son and her first gr.child? Some people you just have to be right down hateful with to get your point across and if it hurts the feelings it means you may have reached them. It’s you and your ex’s baby not hers whether it’s the first gr.baby or the 100th - what you name the child is entirely up to the two of you not her if she doesn’t like tough doodie - and tell her if she continues on the road she is traveling in a very invasive fast forward motion she is going to hit a tree straight on and never meet her gr.child bc she is pushing you to the point of actually running away before this child ever arrives because she is driving you to that point. Good luck sweetie - you could always change your number, email address etc. but she seems like one that one find out the new regardless. Good to know that your ex is still supporting you in this situation.
Theres no nice way to do it.
You need to tell her to back off BEFORE the babies here. You’ve tried being nice, he’s tried being nice, be abrupt.
Okay so here’s the thing…not having visitors at the hospital at all is kind of stupid. You’re not only welcoming a child in to your life but the whole family. I get not having anyone in the delivery room. She’s right, it is her grandchild. Think how you would feel if your kid refused to let you see your grandchild after its born. I dont think shes the only one causing drama. I think you are a big part of it. I understand you dont like to be touched. Tell her. Don’t let her touch you. But for God’s sake let the family come see the baby. You are both being insensitive. Having a baby its not just about you. It’s about the whole family. You need to grow up fast.
The solution to this one is simple: stop being nice about it! You need to start setting boundaries now before yalls baby is born or it’s only going to get worse from here. Tell her flat out how you feel and dont hold back. It may hurt her feelings but I’m telling you it’s better to get it out the way now.
If being nice aint working then just straight up say “my pregnancy, my baby, my rules so back the fuck off.” Her grandchild granted but YOU are the mother and it’s your say as to anything with the baby (dad’s too of course) but NOT the grandma.
You may end up getting a restraining order to keep her at bay, for your peace of mind
If she’s visiting, leave the house. Avoid going back until she’s gone. Or fake sick and LOCK yourself in the bedroom.
Talk to your OB (without the baby’s dad present) and explain all of the stress she is causing. Ask him if he would “be on board” with telling your ex that you need a stress free environment and tell him/ and the hospital, that you don’t want her in the delivery room. Try to do it so that they don’t know you spoke to him; like it’s the OB’s idea.
Is your mom around? If so specify that only your mom and the baby’s dad are allowed in the delivery room.
YOU get to decide who gets to see you in that tender and very exposed state of labor and delivery. No one else.
Just lose your shit. She needs to be knocked down off her high horse. I’d not welcome her to the house until she quits her shit. If she keeps harassing you then take it further?
When you set boundries in the beginning they know where they stand.
She needs to grow up n accept the way u want it to be
Sometimes you just have to be mean If being nice isn’t working you need to just flat out tell her to back off and give you two room to breathe.
Grow up and ignore her. Make it clear to hospital staff she’s not welcome.
Be straightforward and blunt with her. At this point, I’d deliberately say everything I had to say maliciously
Let her throw a fit. Tell her this is how things are and if she cant except that then she might lose the ability to see her grandchild. This is obsessive behavior and it is more than unhealthy.
Let it go in one ear and out the other.
Maybe you should move out of her home and into your own apartment. That’s not healthy for your through your pregnancy to deal with that stress…
She’s obsessed with her son, and anything and anyone to do with said son is going to become her obsession to. Tell her in no uncertain terms how it’s going to go down. Tell her if she can’t keep her opinion to herself about YOUR pregnancy then you will block her and her son can talk to her. Same with the name and with being at the hospital, she has no right to be at any appointment or at the hospital unless you want her to be. Stand up for yourself before its to late.
Don’t go around her. Ignore calls. She doesn’t need to be in the baby’slofe if she can’t respect your wishes. Make her stop now or it will only progress.
She just may be trying to show she’s accepting of you and baby. The name is your choice not hers. Stick to your guns but be polite and SMILE
Tell her youll ask for her opinion when you want/need it however any other time really isn’t needed nor wanted regardless of how much you appreciate that she’s trying to help
I just don’t deal with my MIL. I’m not her child, I owe her nothing.🤷
Then when mine saw my son, it was with his dad (her son). I stayed home.lol (I have no filter. So it’s best for me to stay home lol).
It’s putting boundaries and sticking to them. Tantrum from her or not. Cuz if she’s like this NOW…wait…they get tenfold with the new baby. So put your rules in place and stick to them. So she learns and quickly…or she’s gonna run your behind right over when it comes to that child.
I straight up told mine “it’s MY child. So it’s MY choice. Don’t like it? Can’t honor it? Then you don’t get to be grandma 🤷” period.
She now behaves lol
Is she taking her meds lol
There’s an issue there. She’s extremely controlling. She has yet to “cut the cord” and she won’t until your ex does something about it. You can’t really do anything other then ignore, or get malicious. Your ex however is the one that needs to put his foot down and make some changes here.
Just keep telling her. No. No. No
Put her in her place. NOW. Also, MAKE SURE you inform hospital staff that you do not want ANY visitors. My step-mom almost got herself thrown out by security because she thought she had a “right” to be in the delivery room. She did not.
The hospital wont let her in unless you want her there
Set her straight no is no!!!
Tell her to back off and join a craft group or you will move away with baby