My children have been seeing the same therapist for years. My ex husband has been fully aware of this. He is now saying he doesn’t want them to see the therapist anymore and he says he “doesn’t give consent” for them to see the therapist anymore. I do not want them to stop going and the children do not want to stop going either. What are my options here?
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What is he hiding? Definitely don’t stop taking them!
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Well do they live you you? If so keep taking them when in your care you do what you feel is best when in his care he does what he feels is best
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In the divorce did it say who had the final decision? For example mine says we are to agree unless an agreement cannot be made in which I would make the final decision.
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Why does he even need to know? Unless it is Court ordered?
Does the court order state that both parents need to consent for medical treatment or does it allow for just one parent to consent? If it doesn’t state that both parents have to consent then your consent is enough. I’d be more concerned why he doesn’t want them going, what is he trying to hide.
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I would bring it up to the court if they have ptsd then they definitely need to be seen he doesnt have the right to dictate that kind of stuff
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Legal action works for me.
If the children do not want to stop and it’s doing them good, then that it neglectful on his part. It sounds like your ex is nervous about them finding out the type of person he is. Keep them in therapy. It’s not his decision.
Keep taking them! Most custody agreements have paragraphs that discuss what each parents rights are in regards to medical care, surgery, etc. I’d look there first and if it’s not specified then I’d keep taking them and let him get a judge to make me stop.
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If you guys have joint legal custody, he can do this but you can take it to court and fight it if you feel the kids need therapy. If you have sole legal, you don’t need his permission to allow them to continue going.
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Whats he hiding? I’d take this issue to court- he’s “denying” medical care. I haven’t met a judge yet (and believe me we’ve dealt with a LOT OF THEM). That will side with the father.
In Canada mental health consent is considered any child that is able to make the decision of whether or not they want to continue with therapy.
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Take them. I’d be stunned if a judge agreed with him
Sounds like a joint legal custody issue and if this is the case then, yes he has a right to not give his consent. If you both cannot agree then you’ll have to have a judge settle it.
It doesn’t matter if he consents are not and I judge is gonna tell him that…you don’t need both parents for therapy signups or appointment or anything as long as the other biological parent takes child fills out papers and consents that’s all that is needed.
Sounds like a huge red flag, what’s he afraid of them saying
Keep taking them. Let him take you to court over it and explain that one to the judge.
Let them keep going and challenge him to take it to a judge if he has a problem with it
Let them keep going and let him take you to court. You’ll probs win
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Keep them going. He must of done something to those kids or around them that he doesn’t want anyone ends to know.
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I would tell him that you will be taking him to court. He will have to have a very good reason why the kids shouldn’t go to therapy. I would also continue having the kids go to therapy until a judge tells you otherwise.
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Let him take you to court
Whats his reasons? Why are they at a therapist? He doesn’t need to consent to it, he isn’t the boss … ignore him
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Why are they seeing one? If it’s not court ordered you may have to stop if he isn’t giving hid permission
I’d have a middle person (like a mediator) speak to the children. Could it be that they are telling dad they don’t want to go but don’t want to upset mom, by saying that?
He’s your ex for a reason. Keep your kids in therapy. It may have to only be on your time, but keep them in it. I don’t see how he could possibly stop you. I don’t see how any family court would order it to be stopped. What is he trying to prevent them from saying?
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Maybe the dad thinks they have had enough,maybe he can’t afford it anymore,maybe he thinks it’s not working,the father has the right to say no just like a mother can if she wants,but really years of counselling that really should be enough it’s not a life time thing
Get a social worker involved. He’ll change his stance pretty quickly😏
What’s his reason for them to not go? And what are they seeing therapist for? It’s easy to assume he’s hiding something, but that doesn’t mean the assumptions are correct.
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What does your court order say? If it doesn’t specify, you can make appointments during your parenting time.
If you’re primary, let him throw a fit and take it to court. If you’re not primary, same answer.
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Uhh red flag. Keep taking them. Do you have shared legal (not physical) custody? If so, I’m sure that’s something the court system would side with you on. If you have full legal custody, or no custody has been formally established, there’s nothing he can even do about you taking them. I’m not sure if he even can if you guys have shared, but it’s certainly something you could fight for the right to do in court.
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I’d leave it up to the kids. Are you the main person for your kids? If you’re I’d do what you want to do not him. I wouldn’t care what the other parent says lol. That’s just me lol. I always ask my son what he wants. They still want to go then I would still take them. It’s actually good for kids to see one. My son doesn’t always talk to me, but he will talk to his. Lol. Which is fine by me as long as he has someone to talk to.
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Unless he’s the primary guardian or can show actionable harm, he can’t so $hit about it but throw his tantrums, so keep sending them until/unless he can get a court to order otherwise. This isn’t about what he’ll allow.
I think you can file a motion and a judge can make that decision.
Hmm…. What is he hiding? He is hiding something
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Let him take you to court so he can have the judge tell you the kids can’t go to a therapist
If he can prove to a judge why the kids shouldn’t see one then maybe he has a case.
Until then let them go.
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Go back to court and have it mandated by a judge stating the kids should stay in therapy.
Perhaps your kids don’t want to tell you they don’t want to go to therapy anymore but told their dad. I’ve witnessed kids give different answers to different people because they knew how strongly someone feels about a certain topic and think the truth will upset them. I say have a discussion with dad to get to the bottom of what prompted this.
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Definitely keep them going If he wants to change it he can talk to a judge. This is a big red flag for me. (Mental health field worker)
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Keep taking them to the therapist…
Stay it is probably helping them
If your children feel like they need the services, trust their judgment and listen to them!
Are you forcing them to go? Maybe they don’t actually like their therapist and they’re uncomfortable but you’re not listening. If anything find someone you both can agree on. Often times when the parent that takes them makes it a big deal, they will confide in the other parent that they don’t like it. Maybe your kids are just afraid to tell you the truth 
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Depends what your court documents say. Who has control over medical decisions? Nothing else matters at all.
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Does he have to give consent? Can’t you let them go while they’re under your care and time?
Speak with their doctor and try to get a note from them stating that they need it and/or would be beneficial, if you explain the situation to them they may understand and help you out.
If not, then perhaps taking to court and having them mediate. If the therapy benefits and helps the kids, taking it away wouldn’t help them any. A judge and all should side with you.
I had a child in therapy and because we shared legal custody and said he didn’t want the child in therapy the facility told me that he contacted them and threatened legal action of they continued services without his consent. The child was not all allowed to recieve therapy though it was about learning self control and boundaries. What a nasty move of the fathers behalf.
tell him good luck convincing a judge to stop therapy
Court. I’m betting since it’s their normal that unless dad has some really really good reason why the judge isn’t going to take it away. Talk to your lawyer about it.
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I would def keep taking them and he can take it with court if he wants. Is not about him but about the kids
Continue letting them see the therapist. If he’s that upset he can tell a judge why he “doesn’t give consent”.
He’s hiding something. Therapy is the healthiest way to cope with your mental health and unless it’s super expensive, why not let them continue?
How old are the children? Age of consent for mental health treatment is often 14 yo in many states
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You don’t have to have his permission.
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File paperwork with the court. The court can grant you an order for your children to be in therapy. Dad will need to provide his reasoning for the children not going and you will need to provide your reasoning for them going.
Have him take u to court he’ll look stupid for it bc ur doing what needs to be done and he dont want to… is he hiding some then 
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Too many spots missing here
He’ll have a very tough time proving (in court) that therapy is some form of abuse or is contributing to their dysfunction, let him huff and puff but keep up the therapy if the kids like it
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I’m sure you need only one person’s consent and that is the custodial parent. 
Call a lawyer.
I have not read all comments but the ones I have read all assume mental health therapy. Children can go to all different kinds of therapy….speech, physical, occupational, mental health and many more. Depends on what type if it’s not mental health…does he feel like they still need other types…cost could be a factor…. Co-Pays are not always cheap. It’s Not always someone is trying to hide something or cover something up.
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I would wonder why he doesn’t…
My first question would be, why doesn’t he want them going? Red flag! Therapy does no harm. Same thing happened with my ex and in the end it was because he was afraid what they would tell the therapist. I continued the therapy and truth was revealed. He no longer has any parental rights as a result. Court ordered.
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He needs to petition the Court to show just cause.
A therapists notes and testimonies regarding professional recommendations for the ongoing care of the children and the legitimate rationale for that are admissible in Court and carry much weight.
An ex spouse with court ordered shared custodial parent responsibilities cannot unilaterally decide about rescinding consent for healthcare in clear contradiction to consent of other custodial parent, the recommendations for continuing care by the attending practitioner treating the children, and the minors children’s wishes do factor in as well.
As is, it makes no sense…unless an unrelated agenda by the one insisting on it is considered.
It sounds much like a manipulative power play agenda to create problems for ex spouse or he’s someone with something to ‘hide’ who doesn’t want the truth telling little children talking about him to a professional vs any legitimate cause or concern for the children’s wellbeing as the motivation here.
These types are not prone to wanting to shine more light of attention on themselves if they are nervous about the beans the kids might spill…or are just doing it to maintain unnecessary additional contact and engagement with or for retaliation against ex spouse. 
Let him tell the Judge in his filed petition to discontinue the childrens treatment and prove his legitimate cause for denial of consent midstream.
The Court will decide based on evidence in fact.
In the meantime, continue to send them.
Keep taking them if kids say I still need and want this let them therapy is important I’ve been in and out since I was a teen it has helped a lot but I have never had someone other than someone with bad intentions telling me not to go
Is it a therapist in general or specific to that one?
I am sorry but its really not about your ex or even you, its about what the kids need and what os best for them. No judge would ever side with him and forbid you from taking them to therapy.
Depends on why your kids are in therapy. You say they have been in therapy for years? Maybe your ex has an issue with the therapist prolonging the process so they can keep making money. There are too many unknowns to say if they should or should not keep going. More info is needed. Also what are the ages of the kids? And how do they feel about it?
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I wonder who’s paying for the therapy. Maybe he just doesn’t want to pay his half anymore?
Ethical therapists will tell you whether your children need to continue or not with therapy. And of course you have your own observations. If the children need therapy, you should fight for it.
Court. No court is going to agree with him.
He isnt their guardian. They dont need his consent
He’s probably scared something is gonna come out about him. I would file a temporary restraining order out of an abundance of caution and question the children about daddy’s secrets, and reassure them that they won’t get in trouble for telling the truth.
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Usually only 1 parent has to consent but its worth checking into through your lawyer
Need more info on the therapist? Maybe this therapist is pushing his/her inappropriate agenda on the kids. Many of them do that now a days. Many comments on instantly blaming the dad for something bad. Stop!
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Depends on who the custodial parent is and which state. If he has equal say in the care of the children, then he has a say. Also it would depend on what type of therapy that the children are being seen for. Hopefully you and your ex can work this out. If you feel that you have to go to family court , just remember that the children are minors and don’t attempt to say they want to go to the therapist. This type of presentation tends to irritate judges. You and your ex are supposed to work together for what’s best for the children, not the children telling you. It’s not a good strategy. Also, don’t condem the ex ,judges don’t really care until there is a history of domestic violence. Otherwise, they are ONLY considering the benefit of the children.
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On the flipside of things, maybe he’s being protective over the children because Big Pharma is medicating anyone and everyone they can. Psychiatrists receive kickbacks for every prescription filled.
I’m going to go with ‘not enough information’ here.
*What type of therapy?
*What are you taking them for?
*Why does your ex not want you to take them anymore?
The assumption here seems to be dad is hiding something and I get that to a point…but I can actually think of several reasons one parent may want a child to discontinue therapy…
Cost for starters (especially if insurance feels it’s unnecessary)
Plateau on improvement
Poor advice from the therapist (my oldest has autism and before we knew he was getting therapy that was completely counterproductive)
Conflict of interest (mom sees the same therapist)
The unfortunate part about a situation like this is that the best solution would be to have a reasonable discussion and hear each other out… Then try to find a middle ground…Like maybe decreasing the frequency If money is the problem.
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It’s really weird when the other parent doesn’t want kids to see a therapist. Unless it’s court ordered for you to not take them, who cares what he doesn’t like about it.
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File a motion with the court and have a judge rule on it. Also get a medical professional like a primary care dr. To state that stopping mental health care could be a detriment to the children. Turn it in to the courts as well.
Call your lawyer and see what they say. Then do what they tell you.
Why are the kids going? Some mothers (not saying you did)make it appear the kids are in need of this because she gets a check for them. I know one woman kept tacking on ailments. The girl get almost $1000 a month. She is a victim of her mother. The dad split and took his kids from another relationship and told her she wasn’t going to label his kids. Maybe the dad is afraid of that. They need a third party to get to the bottom of it all.
Go in front of a judge if need be
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I suggest if you feel in your gut that it’s working for your children than do whatever is best for them to stay with their therapist. Maybe talk to your ex husband and ask him why he doesn’t want y’all’s children to attend the therapist.
Mental health is every bit as important as physical health and thankfully judges are beginning to see that. He cannot deny the kids treatment or it could be a case for neglect (mental health treatment is now included in most states). If he is protesting paying for it, then you just pay it and keep receipts and when you end up back in court make it part of the order that he reimburse you his portion. Make sure all appointments are on your custodial time, he isn’t going to take them on his time. If you are domiciliary, you get to make the final decision on treatments and he would have to take you back to court to make it stop.
Kids are in therapy for a reason. Tell him to be realistic.
Why does he not want them going, is he not seeing the benefit of us it something else?
You are providing healthcare for your children- no judge is going to make you stop. Your ex likely either doesn’t want to pay for it, OR there’s something he doesn’t want coming to light (he’s hiding something). Unless he has full custody I’d disregard everything he says regarding those kids seeing a therapist. Tell him to take you to court or shut up
Take them anyway,what Kara said
Could he be doing something he doesn’t want therapist to know?!
He doesn’t get to make that decision. If he takes it to court, all you need if for the therapist to verify that therapy is needed Tell him to go suck a stick.
If you have custody he has no say in which doctor they see, how long have they been going, how old are they, why did you put them in therapy to begin with. So many questions you need to ask yourself when it is time to stop, and go as needed
Get a lawyer, and go to court with documents and proof as to how long they have been going and why with a letter from the therapist.
Why would anyone not want their children to get the help they need and want?
It has become part of their medical treatment and I would keep taking them until he takes you to court because stopping them could hurt their mental wellbeing
Who has primary care of children? If it’s you, tell him to kick rocks because he does not have best welfare of kids in mind. Talk with therapist because seems to me dad is hiding something.
Talk to your attorney. Ask your ex why he wants them to stop seeing the therapist.
You didn’t mention a very important part. What kind of custody do you have? If you have joint legal he can take you to court to stop therapy. He’d have to prove how it’s in the kids best interest to stop. It’s unlikely he can do that. Unless he gets a court order keep taking him. I bet something comes out eventually that he doesn’t want out. If you have sole custody it’s not his choice. Either way I’d inform the therapist. It may help her in sessions.
That’s a bit of a red flag the only reason a parent doesn’t want them to go to therapy is because they have something to hide.
How old are the children ?
If therapy is going on and on for years you might need a better therapist for those kids or a better life.
Mine doesn’t agree with out kids going to therapy but me as a mother fuck what he thinks!! I care for my kids mental well being and I’m not going to let no man’s ego or different views of well they should just figure a way to fix their issues!! Or due to the fact of his mental abuse towards us over the years and he doesn’t want anyone to view him in a different light. It’s been 3 years and my children are so much better mentally and I’m so happy for that.