Those kids are your sons siblings. I would give it to them🤷♀️
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If he needed the stuff he should’ve asked. He can’t just expect that you will give all your sons clothes to him for his kids. I don’t think it’s petty at all. He clearly felt entitled to it. If he’d like stuff in the future he can ask you to save stuff for him but he is not entitled to anything just because he has other children.
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He could at least ASK for the stuff not just demand it 
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Seems like you hurt him giving those away to someone else when it’s clear he could use them.
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They’re his brothers yes. But, you get to decide where his old stuff goes.
You just said they were struggling. I would have let him take them for his kids.
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You’re an asshole… plain and simple. Instead of letting your son’s brothers have toys you were gonna throw them in the trash… yeah he shoulf.have asked instead of just grabbing but you really should have just said yeah sure, when he said he was gonna take them
I give all our old stuff to goodwill… it’s not your place to provide for his other kids
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You should set some serious boundaries with that man. He has no right to come and look through your bags and demand things that he didn’t even paid for. The fact that he is struggling doesn’t mean he has to act like a moron. That’s no excuse.
He could’ve nicely ask if he could have sone of those stuff not go all crazy.
Anyway it’s your stuff and you decide.
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I wouldn’t have gave them him tbh. Your job is your son, his job is his 3 sons. It isn’t your fault he went and had more babies after not being able to afford it (yes I know things happen) but he could have asked instead of attempting to steal them. You might not even have thought of his other children before offering them your nan, I’ve done that so many times. He could have said “whatever blah blah grows out of next time, can I have for the other boys” like a grown up and not a child.
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I would have offered to him first tbh. But they belong to you so I guess its your decision but I still would have given them to him afterwards if he asked nicely.
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He should have respected the fact that you promised them to your grandma… however next time ask him if his boy’s may need a few things…
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I mean I agree that he should ask, but they would of been my first thought when going through stuff to get rid of. 
I don’t really think you’re in the wrong here but I do feel it’s petty
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You should have offered them to him in my opinion 
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Your entitled to give, sell or donate to whom ever, but question is, if has been taking your child these 6 years. Where are his clothes he bought him, wouldn’t those clothes be passed down to his own kids?? Or he just being greedy and taking more then he should, 2 incomes can afford child’s clothing I do it alone, while was a student and no child support I have no sympathy for those that are just taking advantage of their mother of their child. Mine doesn’t have any kids but kept stocking up on my daughters clothes toys anything he could take to give to his friends and say he bought those. When excuse me u never bought her jack… s!!!. So nah u did right if he wanted them he could’ve asked could he take a bag or look threw and give the rest to it grandma but taking both like come on. It doesn’t matter who makes more money. He had money for a wedding extra mouths to feed and 2 incomes. Worry about what u want to do. And got to do.
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I don’t think “there is no bad blood there” is completely accurate lmao
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I think most moms on here including myself who think that you should have thought about letting them have the stuff or at least letting them go through it is bc were not thinking about the parents but the children. My first thought is if they’re struggling why not try and help your son’s siblings out, especially since you’re donating anyway. I don’t think you’re wrong you did pay for the items we just think differently. As for the Dad acting that way it’s bullshit! He does not have the right to act like that. My advice would be to call the mom anyway and ask her if she would like anything and let the dad know he only had to ask and not act like an ass and maybe you would have thought different. At the end of the day if you’re donating anyway why not just give the stuff to your son’s siblings since they need it. He can act like an ass and you can still be kind.
If it was me I would have asked him first about all of it. If they are struggling then maybe your sons brothers could have used them. I agree he didn’t have to demand them, just ask him next time. I’m sure the other boys would have appreciated them. Pay it forward.
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It’s none of his business. But if you are throwing them out anyway I let him take them off your hands. The cloths you should still do what you promised.
His kids are not your responsibility at all. If you wanna give the clothes to a clothing drive, do it! That’s not his business
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Yeah he could have asked nicely, and u didnt have to be fken petty. Your sons BROTHERS obviously could use them. Smh 
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I would of let him have it
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I mean if he can use them for his boys that are your son’s brother and they are struggling why not give them to him
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I would just let him have it
I would of offered them the stuff to him first BUT
you have every right to donate to whoever you want. I’m just surprised that knowing their money situation, being it’s your son’s brothers, and you are on good terms that you didn’t offer it to him. Makes me think either your not on as good of terms as you say, you have some deep seated or not so deep seated issue with him, or your not that thoughtful of a person. 
Regardless of the reason why you didn’t offer him the stuff first, he should of never of come after you like that… which leads me back to your not on as good of terms as you say.
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He has the nerve to ask when he doesn’t even support his son. It’s up to you what you do with your sons things
I totally understand how that would annoy you but I would have given it to him for his kids
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You should have offered them for his children you know there’s a need. You had a beautiful son with him do not be petty you both moved on
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Give them the toys and give grandma the clothes. Don’t fret about a few material items that are gonna be forgotten. It’s not worth your peace of mind. Plus you are showing your son how to share and give things to his siblings when he doesn’t want them anymore. It’s more about the kids than anything else. Right. 
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I would have given him the clothes and toys. You know they aren’t financially doing well. It woukd’ve been a nice gesture.
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I will say i dont think your wrong but it would have been nice to give to him. Those are your sons siblings. My daughters bio dad, saw i listed clothes on fb from my son(not his) and asked if they could have for his son so my daughters brothers. I said yes.
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He didn’t have a right to try and grab your things. Truth is… if he hadn’t been nosey… he never would have known the difference. Not only that… there’s nothing wrong with him saying to you a long time ago… Hey if you ever have anything that our son out grows and need someone to give them to…please consider my other boys. You’re not obligated to think to give them to him. If Grandma asks you if you have anything for the clothing drive… you say yes… that’s your choice. Matter of fact…tell him where it will be held. Not to be disrespectful but it’s a resource that might be helpful. If you’re feeling your heartstrings being pulled… talk to Grandma. It might not matter to her if you give them to needy kids. Either way…you need to have a civil discussion with Dad and tell him that wasn’t ok. If he needs something…he has to communicate. Not assume, not grab, not be an asshole in front of your kid… I personally wouldn’t give them on principle alone.
Before anyone has anything to say about being petty when there are kids in need…
She’s not obligated to give anything to anyone for any reason. They are going to kids in need. She could have sold them herself…any number of scenarios.
Just give the toys to your sons lil brothers. You made your point as to you paying for the items. “Why” not what’s the problem, these aren’t reasons to be ugly to one another. I’m sure you’re better than that.
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His financial burden shouldn’t be any of your concern my opinion. Call me cold hearted whatever but he made his bed with someone else so you are not obligated or need to feel bad your giving away stuff that you bought with your own money. Especially if you already offered them to someone else. He doesnt help you financially so why should you if you dont want to give him the stuff? Just my opinion. He isnt doing anything to help you so he cant expect you to just do for him when your providing for your son yourselves. He is no longer your problem.
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Maybe let his boys come over and pick out a few toys each and donate the rest?
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I mean this in the most respectful way as possible and plus you asked but I believe your in the wrong. If the situation was reversed how would you honestly feel. Yes you promised them to go elsewhere to a church, but I am 100% sure that if you called and told them you found a family in need they will be okay with you not giving it to them. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Regardless do whatever you feel is best in this situation. He I am sure was only rude because he cannot give his children what you are giving away, and I am not defending him I am unsure if he is like this on a regular or not I am just saying from this one situation.
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I’d give it to my son’s brothers.
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You are NOT obligated to him. You promised them to your grandmother. He had nerve to even be upset or demand ANYTHING especially if he’s not providing financially to your son. I don’t feel your wrong, don’t sweat it. As long as he’s not for real tripping with you about this I’d let it go. But DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about giving those things to your grandmother’s church.
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You’re not wrong! It’s not your responsibility to make sure HIS kids are taken care of. Donate the stuff, because you’ve made promises and don’t give this anymore of your energy.
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They Maybe your son’s Half Brother’s, you receive no support from him, you bought the stuff he is no way entitled to the stuff. If he would have asked you, it would be a totally different story.
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I would give them to him
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I guess I’m the minority, but you don’t owe him anything at all. If he wanted them, he should have asked. Or bought them from you for cheap. His boys are not your responsibility.
You didn’t do a thing wrong
I would give them to his brothers, honestly it’s something that the fathers new family would appreciate and good karma on you. But either way it is your decision… but if your honest about no bad blood then I don’t see why you wouldn’t give it to them first
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You can do whatever you want. You paid for it. He sounds entitled. Even if he is doing bad, he should’ve humbled himself and asked in a very polite way instead of feeling like they should automatically go to him. Plus, you’re already doing a nice gesture by donating it to a your grandma’s church. You shouldn’t feel annoyed or bothered at all.
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You brought it, you chose what to do with it.
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If you have done it to the least of these you have done it unto Me. The words of our Lord. Why should it matter if his children are doing without and you have a chance to give. Just saying
And just so whoever this is knows. If your that petty about handing down stuff to younger siblings. There IS most certainly bad blood
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So I’ve totally been through the step parent new children custody situation. In fact I was the Stepmom for 8 years until I legally adopted my child, my son. He is my oldest and I’ve had 3 children after him. Bio family would say we were KEEPING things to pass down, so mine was the opposite in that sense and we paid for everything we had too. It was terrible.
I do believe that it would be civil and gracious of you to pass things down from your son to his brothers but you are not obligated to. I think that you should have asked if they needed anything and maybe set a few things aside, I’m not saying the whole bag but a couple of things would have been considerate and it would have made your son feel good when he went to his dad’s house and saw his stuff there. Now, with the way he responded to saying I’m just taking the stuff and you say no and there being an argument. Him feeling like he was entitled to your belongings that is not okay.
That is where I would have said okay you know what I’m just not giving you anything. Nobody is entitled to your things. I do think it would be good of you to pass some things down and it does not matter who paid for them. Who purchased the item is irrelevant because it no longer benefits the child. Its petty to focus on payment. You can do whatever you want with your things but it would make a better relationship if you could share just a little. A couple of toys a couple of outfits would go a long way
Also, has dad ever given him ANYTHING to have at your home or sent him in clothing that wasn’t yours, or do you literally provide everything your son need to have at dad’s?
This is important because it comes across like dad doesn’t do anything for child and everything is yours. However if dad does provide things that end up at your home, it would be better to be gracious and have shared things. It sounds like there’s some looking down on him or resentment
Uhm… you’re being selfish. if they can be used there, give the stuff to your ex for those kids
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I personally would have offered the stuff to him for his younger kids but that’s just me seems better to let him take them home. Either way you know the stuff is still being used! I’d be annoyed that he felt entitled to it sure. But him not paying child support has absolutely nothing to do with it. If I knew my ex was in a bad spot financially, I’d offer whatever I thought he could use for his kids. Especially when they’re my kids siblings.
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In all honesty, I would have asked him first just knowing he has 2 younger kids and has a financial issue. I guess I’m just a nicer and more considerate person though.
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The child in the welloff situation is most certainly affected by his siblings having only kd or ripped clothes and at 6 doesn’t understand why his brothers don’t have what he has. So unless your that callus tjatyou explain poverty to a 6 year old the throw his suit away instead of giving it to his brother. This child will grow up to either hate himself or be a selfish loveless adult that by the sounds of it will be the carbon copy of self entitled generation. Mellinials all need to be both slapped and have have karma knock on the door. Poverty can happen overnight. Your great job gone instantly and with your attitude nobody will give you a chance. Wow you should be proud of yourself for your selfish nature. That teaches your child horrible life skills. Oh but your donating it to charity right. Petty bullshit. I give you judgmental bitter woman a karma card. Have fun
I think you probably feel a little guilty now for not thinking of brothers needs. Do what you have promised but maybe tell ex that next time you will ask him first . I would want to teach my son to think of his family first. Your son is watching your example
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He definitely should of handled the situation differently and not demanded you let him take the stuff home. But i would give the stuff to your sons brothers. Those lil boys are your sons brothers… his family. I would definitely give the stuff to them before donating it to church. And I’m sure if you explain that to your grandmother and that they’re in a financial bind she would have no issue with you helping out those little boys, regardless if you promised it to her or not. Why would u not want to give to his brothers before anyone else??
Not wrong. You bought it, it was going to a different place. If he needed the stuff? He should of asked instead of thinking he was entitled to it.
I’m pretty sure if he asked nicely? It would be a different story. His other children aren’t your concern! Yes they’re his younger siblings, still not your problem! So their Mom can’t help out? Its not your responsibility to help when you don’t even get it.
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Hes not entitled to anything. He doesn’t even support the child he has with you, he has zero place to demand anything.
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Know when you’re on good terms with them and knowing they were in a financial situation I would have offered to give them to him
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Personally I’d give them to my ex for his kids… But that’s me.
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Either one woulda been a good deed but he should have asked if his other sons could have the stuff tho. Personally if he would said well hey could we have them instead or something along that line I woulda said that we could go through it and he could have some but not all since it was promised to a church to help other kids who also need that kinda stuff.
Maybe that’s why he did he get upset he thought you’d give hand downs. I mean if you are just gonna throw the toys away I see no harm in giving them to him.
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give part to him and part to g randmother
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He should go to your grandmas clothes drive if he wants to be that mad
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This time I’d give them to your grandma and maybe next time consider giving them to your ex but he has to have a better attitude and not act entitled
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It’s very wrong of him to assume he has any right or say in the matter. But as a mom I would be concerned about my child’s siblings. I would have asked before giving to a stranger. Maybe set aside a few things for them and give the rest to the church.
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I don’t think you’ve done any wrong. But if you feel a little guilty, which I feel is why you’ve asked opinions, maybe split the stuff between him and your grandma. I’m sure she’d understand. 
or just pick out and outfit and toy or 2 to give to the dad. If you don’t feel guilty at all, then just give it to grandma. He has no right to demand you give him the stuff you bought. Good luck. I don’t feel like there is a wrong way to go here, really.
First thought should have been to pass it on to your son’s brothers 🤷
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Keep your head up and stand your ground give them to your grandma. If you give in and give them to him, he will EXCEPT it all the time. Don’t back down you owe him nothing
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Sounds petty to me but if you know they aren’t in that good of a financial situation why can’t you give their kids…your child’s siblings…the hand me down clothes…?? You sound entitled and rude.
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You aren’t obligated to give hand me downs to anyone friend or family. If you already made plans to give them to your grandma then that’s just what it is.
I don’t think dad has a right to be mad and or demand the items especially since he is not financially contributing to your child in the first place.
I think if he asked about the contents of the bags and then said “hey do you mind if I took them for my boys” something along those lines maybe I’d be more inclined to give them. At the end of it all it’s your choice
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I have done this for my ex…I have given him household items and children’s items. It’s not about “us”. It’s about the kids seeing a good co-parenting relationship. I would like my children to see I didn’t purposely make things tough or harder for their dad.
If it’s going to someone free anyways, why not show your child you are ok with helping out his dad…
Just a thought.
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I would have said cool take the toys but the clothes are already going to charity.
If you don’t want em no more you shouldn’t really care where they go (apart from the charity).
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Ladies. Your responses are good know nature BUT remember he has NEVER supported his son she had with him so we’d hy should she try to help him now? He NEVER helped her
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Invite him to your grandmother’s church for the clothing drive! If he needs it that bad, problem solved.
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It your stuff that you bought… he can’t get mad cause he can’t afford what you doing
I think if they’re having a hard time financially, why not give them some toys to play with? You’d be making them for happy I’m sure. And I’m also sure your grandma wouldn’t mind about giving the clothing to them as
Well.
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I’d give them to him…its about the kids not the adults
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Just divide the stuff some for him some for grandma,in the future you can do the same without all the drama,it’s going to a good cause either way.
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I know people that have went to clothing drives only to turn around and resell them immediately…I would much rather give them to someone I know needs them and will use them
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Not obligated to give him shit really…
How about a meet in the middle compromise. Let your son pick out enough stuff for his siblings to fill one bag and then donate the rest. This shows your son the importance of giving and sharing for his family and others.
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You’re not wrong. He’s wrong for going about it the way that he did. To act like as if he’s entitled to your son’s old stuff. He could have asked you for them nicely. I would say, just give whatever you have now to your grandma because you did promise her and just next time, ask your sons dad if he could use your son’s old clothes and toys.
You can do whatever u want with the stuff honestly.
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No, you don’t owe him anything. You don’t have to give those items to him… I think it would be most considerate to give hand me downs to personal family/friends that could use them before donation centers/church donations, but that’s just me and it doesn’t change the fact that it’s your belongings to do what you want with. If he had approached the situation differently and just expressed politely that he could use that stuff, instead of acting so angry and rather desperate about it, that’s a different story. To act entitled is a sure fire way to make sure you don’t get what you want
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I say it is entirely up to you it is sad that he is struggling and great you are getting along and he sees his son but none of is struggling is because of you you didn’t ask him to support your son so his financial responsibility is his alone
Heck no he needs to cloth his own children. Not your job
I think after you calm down you should call him and talk to him about the way he approached you about it. Tell him you don’t get child support. All the things your son has is because you paid with it all. You would have love to given his the clothes and toys if he would have asked for them kindly. You did promise your mom you would have those clothes to donate so tell him you do need to give some to your mom. That’s really if you do want to give them to him.
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Dont think of it as giving it to your ex. You’re giving the stuff to your sons little brothers that would love to have the stuff.
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Cheap ass wants it for his new kids, tell him if he wants it to come pick it up then. He should really be looking for a better paying job if he keeps having kids he can’t afford.
Hell no it’s your money not his let them get a job.
No you are not in the wrong. He has no right to demand anything.
However, would it HURT anything to show your son that family comes first no matter HOW they fit in? Those boys may not be related to YOU, but they ARE related to your son. They are his BROTHERS. Would it hurt anything to teach him to look out for them particularly if they are not as well off as him?
Look, I am not trying to bag on you nor defend his father’s actions.
But I am saying that maybe the example set for your shared son next time should be considered.
It is awesome and amazing that you are giving it to charity.
That is good too.
So is keeping your word when something is promised particularly to your parent.
But maybe next time save a few things out for his brothers and offer them not to or for his father per se, but rather on behalf of your sons brothers and give the rest to charity.
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Well he might be coming from ur son gets the most stuff the best stuff and maybe deep down he is guilty cause the other children can’t get the same but he should of went about it different but sometimes people feel like they aren’t good enough to have certain things ask for certain things at least ur son can also play with that stuff at there house even if it’s old
If I knew someone personally who could use items that I no longer had use for, I would offer to them before donating to a community program but that’s just me. Its tough times out there and people need to stick together.
I have given stuff to my ex to give to his friends kids and literally just bought stuff to send to my exes house yesterday. Not because he asked but because its about what’s best for the kids.
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You not getting child support… Is your first mistake. Worrying about his opinion on something is your second mistake.
Go after him for child support. (And court ordered parenting plan) Then do what you want with the stuff in your home. Move on…
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I agree also with most of the posts. I wouldnt give in either and hand him anything. Whats to stop him from getting off his bottom (getting a better/dif job or more hours) to support his 2 kids he has at home if he relies on his ex to just give him things. Yall say its about the kids, but those kids arent hers. Can she contribute sure, but its their parents job to supply for them. A lot of people esp low income families are in need right now, but she is doing her best for her son, and she spent her $ on those items, therefore its her choice where they go. Id be upset too if my ex just started taking things off my door step just bc he thinks hes entitled to them. No way. Go to food drives/clothing placed at churches… etc i did for my daughter when she was younger before i got back on my feet again, and i never had any issues getting her the things she needed. Ima single mum as well, no child support or help from ex, and hes not in her life for safety reasons, but ive done all i can to provide for her and i dont expect anyone to just hand over stuff. Theres 22 grandkids between my mum and step dad…if that tells ya anything and we all do the best we can. And i have asked my sister of she wants my daughters old clothes bc he daughters a yr younger then mine, but my sister also makes 2xs as much as me. Otherwise we donate it to the church or to HOPE in our area. I digress tho, sorry, you did the right thing mama! Encourage him to support his kids, all of them, and let him find the means to do it. If he asks he asks if not, then his loss. Just my 2 cents.
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Hell no tell him to go get f----d
I didn’t read the comments, but if it were me I’d ask my son what he wants to do. Give him the options and see what he says. They are all going away anyways.
Taking without asking is stealing.
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Giving to the needy is giving to the needy
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I think it’s totally wrong he was taking without even asking but when he asked what it was was I probably would have just been like “clothes and toys he doesn’t need anymore, do you guys want them?” I always offer things to family before giving away to others
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