I was married for nine years and had 3 daughters from that marriage. He and I divorced 12 years ago, and he passed away earlier this year. Well, his parents had a bbq to celebrate his birthday, and my girls and I were there. While we were there. I ran into his cousin Todd and we sort of bit it off. The cousin lived in another state, so he didn’t get to visit much. We want to try dating, but I’m not sure how our families and my ex-husbands family will take it. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time. I lost my fiancé last year to cancer, and I haven’t wanted to try dating again until now. I just don’t know what to do. Would any of you ever date your ex-husbands relative??
Do what is best for you and your kids. No one else’s opinion matters.
He had been gone long enough, enjoy life ,as you know it’s to short
Don’t see anything wrong with it!
Whaaaaaaaaat?? Sorry to me that’s a no go zone. You dont screw the crew and that’s your kids crew
Go for it! You deserve happiness
It’s not like it’s his brother, and it’s not like you just divorced this year, I feel like it’s been long enough, and you deserve to be happy.
I think it’s fine. Good for you
Absolutely nothing wrong with it! Go for it!!
That would make any children you had with him your kid’s sister(brother)/cousin.
To me, any family member of your ex is off limits. They always will be your kids’ family
Life is too short…go for it & be happy!!!
I think it’s fine… what ever your heart wants
Thats a No No, if hes your ex husbands cousin then you are already related to him, and you cant marry your own in laws its disgusting
Go for it you deserve and it’s not his brother so I think it’s ok. Life is to short.
Absolutely not total disrespect.
With the bf I’m dating now I dated his cousin first so not bad at all tho with my bf ex his cousin dated her which was kinda weird
If there’s a connection I wouldn’t deny it because of cultural stigmas or judgements. He’s a soul, your a soul.
I mean your kids could be made fun of… No one wants to be from the family of fucking cousins. Even if it isn’t your blood…
What ages are your children? I think so much of it has to do with their feelings about the “cousin” part. You’ll live with them for the rest of your life. Check their thoughts on the matter. In-laws come & go. Good Luck & Live Your Best Life:shamrock:
Asked you children what they’re think and if it’s ok with them go for it but make sure to ask them.because if they not happy about it you wants be.
Of course not. No no no…just no. Shame
Y’all broke up over a decade ago. He’s his cousin who you said wasn’t around much anyway. It’s not like he’s even his brother. Nothing disgusting about it.
Yall really need to stop shaming this women I mean come on, whyre we mom shaming when shes reaching out for help?!
The poor women wants to be happy, I say go for it, be happy, because in the end its your own decision
Do what makes you happy because it might be a blessin or a lesson, either way you do you
It doesn’t make you any less of a women or a mom, you deserve happiness
Hes not HER cousin, and it’s been 12 years. I’d like to think the family would be happy that after having lost a fiance to cancer and having lost her ex-hubby that she had found happiness again.
They arent related to each other.
I don’t see anything wrong with it
Stop asking people’s opinion about your life, fuck them. Are you happy? Is he happy? With the weird things that people are acceptable of these days social media needs to stfu! Go live your life. These people don’t feed fuck or finance you so they are not even significant
If your children are pretty close to being grown then go for it. It’s hard to find a connection to a man. Their are so many who it’s just not their. Just take it slow and see what happens. In my book I think it will be Love!! Best of luck to you both !! Text back and let us know, not being noisy I am a hopeless romantic!! God bless.
I dont see I problem with it…both my brothers have children to the same woman my older brother has twin girls to her and my younger brother has a son…now that I find a bit weird but it was always about them being happy…and it’s up the children’s parents to explain how their cousins are also their siblings…
So no judgment here go for it
I don’t see an issue… It’s your life
No that would be weird for me
I’ve seen people marry the sibling after the death of their spouse. My great-grandmother married her late husband’s best friend (granted years after he passed). He always took care of her and her daughters (my grandmother included). He was such an integral part of the family, my mom didn’t know he wasn’t her biological grandfather until she was in highschool.
I wish you luck
well really wat is the big deal he was your ex husbands cousin not yours so ur not related shldnt b a problem
Am I the only one that is hung up on “my ex husband passed 12 years ago”. “He and I divorced 12 years ago and he passed away earlier this year”. And you bit it off with this cousin at his heavenly birthday bbq… I’m assuming you mean hit, but if you were close enough after 12 year of not being together, whether it’s death or divorce, to be at this bbq, it’s crossing a line to date anyone that was there to celebrate him as well.
He isn’t your family except by marriage.
No I don’t see a problem If your happy that’s all that matters that was all long ago it seems like
I had a friend thst was marriedfor 10 years. He husband passed away. She married his identical twin brother. He passed away a few years later.
Me personally, no. But do you girl!
Everyone deserves happiness…dont deprive yourself of that because of what others may think goodluck!
Go for it! He isn’t your cousin plus you and your ex were divorced for over a decade. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness! If people cannot understand that then ignore their sad bitter hearts
I would ask your kids how they feel about it. If they are fine with it, I wouldn’t care what anyone thinks. 🤷
Sort of BIT it off…?WTF??
If u feel a connection. Dont deny it.
Do what your hart sais you only live once dear
I don’t see an issue and even if someone on here does you don’t need validation to make yourself happy. As long as you’re sensitive as to when your kids are privy to it be HAPPY.
Why not. Years ago it was even quite normal to marry a man’s brother after his Passing. This is not even her family member.
His cousin not yours. So go for it.
It not like you all were that close to each other, so to find each other in a time of need may be your ex’s way of letting you know it’s ok
Isnt his family the same as your ex husband’s family??
I would never cross that line . I’m celebrating my husbands Death and so is the cousin that I’m dating ? No no no . How long have you guys been kicking it for ? Maybe even before your husband passed away ? I wouldn’t do it .
You are family through marriage only! So go for it!
My fiance’s ex left him for his cousin. Their step dad is also their cousin. Their sister is their cousin.
I think its pretty common place occurance
If y’all are not blood kin to each other whose business is it. Circumstances change in our lives
Only you know what to do. Under the circumstances you describe, I would go for it.
Go for it!! You only live once.
If it makes you both happy , why care if anyone says anything. Follow your heart.
Uhm, hes still relation to your kids. That’s kind of weird and if the kids friends/classmates find out it’s likely something they will be made relentless fun of for…
If it makes you happy go for it life is to short
Hard pass for me. Too weird.
I would only do it if I knew that person was worth losing everything for.
I’m sorry for your loss but this is a hell no! You have kids with your deceased ex-husband. No no no, there are too many people out there
Trainwreck waiting to happen…
I would say no
What do your daughters say? I guess that would be my main concern if I was you then go from there.
Noooo, especially with the kids There are many, many people out there…
"This is my step dad, Uncle John. " Yea, pass
Who cares? It’s his cousin not a brother 💁🏻
My opinion a little too close for comfort but you don’t know if it is okay ask the family or start dating and see what reaction you get from his family. I would not do it but hey love is love
If it’s going to make you happy then YES
Do what makes you happy!
No it’s not weird. Enjoy your current life the way that makes you happy…
Life is too short … be happy
Don’t let world’s judgmental opinions control your life. If you feel it what’s you want to do do it. Odds are it doesn’t last but the experience gave you that step you needed to get back into the dating scene
I’d say di what makes you happy. My step moms dad passed away when she was younger and now her mom is with her uncle (her dads brother) I find it weird but to each their own
Go for it ! Have fun !
It’s not weird, it’s just wrong!
Stop worrying about what other ppl think and make yourself happy!
Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind!
Are your kids grown ups? Are they ok with it? That’s all you need to know to make YOUR decision… no one else matters
12 yrs is a long time, if it was 12 months that would be a different story. I say talk to ur daughter’s, aside from u and him they are the ones who matters most. And of course if he has kids
Uhmmm might be in laws (or ex in laws but still) little too inbredish situation. At least I guarantee yours and his family especially will think. But hell its a messed up world anyways.
I don’t think it’s right, but to each their own.
At the end of the day regardless what anyone comments here, you’re going to do what you want to do. Some may not like it, some may not care. Everyone has different opinions, do what makes you happy.
IMHO: fuck every single outside persons opinion, OTHER than your children. Are they okay with this (and NOT the “I’m going to tell mom I’m ok with it when I actually am not” situation)? If they are, and you both want to try this, try it, but be quiet about it until it’s serious. Bottom line, you deserve love, and maybe your lost husband, gave you the years he could BUT also led you to this… It is NOT unheard of.
If you have to ask then you already know what the answer is
So you want to date your kids cousin ? To me that’s weird and I’m sure your kids will think so too.
It’s ur life date who makes you happy
Ever watch This Is Us? The widow dates & married her late husband’s best friend & found her happily ever after.
My grandma married my moms and later on married his brother.
Each their own. But…My exes family is “No go zone”! for me. I kept my family he kept his. lol Friends maybe, a confidant at best! But Non-dateable.
People date their own cousins so idk why anyone would be upset over this.
Personally I wouldn’t coz it’s your kids relative. But each to their own.
I guess the only opinions I would take in to consideration is that of your daughters.
They divorced 12 years ago not died she said he died earlier this year which is it lady and yes it’s weird
If they weren’t close and you like each other go for it!
I know 2 different women that lost their husbands early… Within a year later they were dating and went onto marry their husbands brother! And it worked for them…
Girl go for it!!! You were divorced prior to him passing and so u had both moved on from the relationship… Plus, back long long ago it was normal for a brother or cousin to step in and take over the family if the man passed away… follow ur heart hun… At the end of the day u are the only one laying down with your decisions so fuck what anybody thinks. It’s really no ones business… good luck!! Live, love and follow ur happiness!!!
I married my ex-husband’s uncle! Best thing I ever did!!!
Don’t worry about what you want or feel. Trust all the random internet people who you’ve never met or aren’t involved in your life!! That’s the answer. Dating advice from complete strangers.
Disrespectful and creepy
That’s a hard pass for me, but different strokes for different folks.
Nothing wrong with it , try dating and if it gets serious then you can announce it , but really its your life , do what makes you happy
it’s your call,not there’s