My ex invited me trick or treating with our kids but I don't know if I wanna go: Thoughts?

My kid’s father had invited me to go trick or treating with him and the kids seeing it’s his night, but every year before that, he was working, or it is my day to take them to trick or treating and he’d never show up. We use to be really good friends, and I use not to mind doing holidays with him, but now he has a significant other, and I just don’t feel like going. 1. because I had purchased the costumes he hadn’t pay for, and I feel like he’s inviting me cuz he feels guilty (either way, I wouldn’t send them without their costumes. 2. I feel like he wants me to go cause he just doesn’t actually wanna do the trick or treating part. But I want to go for the kids, but not with him. What do I do?


Go…its for the kids.


You go! It’s for your kids.


Just go its fun to watch kids trick or treat


Do it for the kids and go, it will give them memories of you being there when they think back.
It’s Halloween, it’s all for the kids.
Just my opinion :woman_shrugging:t3:

Last year I went trick or treating with my daughter and her father and my son from a new relationship. Yeah it was awkward but the kids deserve to have their parents with them on holidays.

Suck it up!! They are both your kids!!


Go an enjoy your children’s happiness :two_hearts:, I’m co parenting and i had to set aside hard feelings for my child but I tell you what it was by far the best decision I made for them.

It’s called Co-parenting it’s not about you or him it’s for them babies!!!


So u find 2 diff trick or treat n 2 diff towns n each go to one n that way costumes used more as well

Ask the kids if they want you to , be guided by them x

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I go with my ex and new husband and my exes girlfriend we have a great time. Try making friends with her and get it started on a good foot or you will have so much hell in your future and your kids will suffer. Who cares who paid for the costumes? Does he pay child support?

You go…you are their mother!

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Go for the kids. They enjoy seeing their parents together getting along being a family.


I’d go!! I’d be suspicious minded that he wasn’t going to show up anyway :unamused: but it’s for the kids so damn skippy, get your shoes on and get that candy!!

Go and show the kids mom and dad are pretty cool people and have a decent relationship.

You obviously go for your kids, It’s part of being an Adult& Co Parenting


Its for your kids, so id go without a 2nd thought Xx

Suck it up Buttercup its not about you it’s about the kids.


Do it for your kids!!!

:sunglasses:Do what you WANT to do!

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I don’t have children, but I have my associate degree in child development and early childhood education. I also come from divorced parents. I think you should be cordial and go. Even though your divorced or separated, you both need to have a good relationship in co-parenting for your children

You said you want to go for the kids…go for the kids then. Ya know, I am 49 years old, and I have lost both of my parents in the last 3 years. My Mom and Dad got divorced when I was 2 years old (1973)…but, they always were in contact because of me and my brother. My dad moved out of State when I was a little girl, but, he was always still in my life. One year, my brother and I would go down there for Christmas, and the next year, my Dad would come to Boise, stay at our house with us (I would usually lose MY room and have to go sleep on the couch)…and this was with BOTH of my parents re-married. It was what it was. My brother and I were the priority. When I was about 12, he moved back to Boise, and he was involved in every holiday. Some times we would ALL, including my Mom and her husband, go to his house, or he would come to ours…and it didn’t change even when I grew up…ALL holidays were still spent together, sometimes now they were at my house though. I remember when I became a Mom…many Halloweens that me, my Mom, my dad, my step dad, the father of my child, his sister…all of us, following my beautiful little daughter around the neighborhood collecting candy…ALL I have to say is that as a child, having all the people I loved together for the holidays is one thing I will cherish always…

Go…it’s all about your children…and not about him…

Show the kids YOU show up.

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Go …show the kids that you get along. It is always about the kids.

Go for the kids and for the time with them. That’s ALL THAT matters. Block your ex out. Who cares. More time and memories for you!!!

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You should go, do it for your kids.

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Go for the kids… and suck it all up, to being only for the kids… enjoy seeing them, and being apart of it… they only do it for so long!.. enjoy that part… the rest… who cares…

Go and have a good time with your kids !! Show them you can coparent. Show your kids they are above how you feel your ex and his actions showed in the past. Just go.

Go it’s not about you or him it’s showing your kids your there for them no matter what

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Go enjoy Halloween with ur kid’s. Don’t let his invitation of convenience effect your joy.


I’d take them without him. Let him do whatever he wants

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Go and stand in the back ground when its time to get the candy. Let his ass walk up to the house. But go for the kids.

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Kids first. Always. It’s Halloween! You don’t have to walk next to him. You don’t have to carry on a conversation with him. Ignore his presence and grey rock as much as possible. Watch your kids have fun, carry their bag when it’s too full of candy, take their pics, act like he doesn’t bother you one bit. Enjoy!!


You be there with your kids every chance you get. They are what matters.


Do it for your babies.

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Go for the kids…it is just a few hours of your time. As a divorced mom…trust me…the kids will be happy you are there …

I say suck it up. Swallow your pride. Be the example to set for your babies. Co parenting can work!!


Go. You’re kids are there… why miss a holiday.
My son is 20 now, his father n I coparented pretty well. All the things I didn’t like about his dad, all the unfair things, seemingly I’m the only one bending backwards most times…I kept to myself. My son started to see things for himself when he got into his teens. I Never had to utter a word. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Go for your kids. They are all that matter.

I think it’s a great idea! The kids love their parents to get along.

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I’d say do what you want, if you want to see them trick or treat set up visits for you and the kids at friends & family houses. After or before they go with dad.

My ex and I did holidays together for ten years at least. If it makes your children happy I say do it. If it creates anxiety and confusion, don’t do it.

It’s not about him it’s about your kids. Go out and have fun! That’s what his girlfriend is for she can entertain him. You just go be with your kids


Put your feelings aside and do it for your kids!


Go kids will love u there don’t think about him think about them

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My answer probably won’t be popular. If you don’t want to go, which is what you said, don’t. The kids need to have fun times with him too, even without you, and from the sounds of it, you might need a break. The kids won’t be hurt if you do t go… they just want to go. As a mom of someone who split holidays, the kids will be okay and will be exited to talk with you about it when they get home. If you want to share part of this with them, take them to your friends or families the next day dressed up. They won’t care. But if you want to go, then go.

Enjoy it with your kids! They grow up so fast and before you know you won’t get to see them dress up and trick or treat!

Go. Your kids need memories of you and their dad doing things with them. Deep breath and Trick or Treat

Go you aren’t thinking of the kids, just yourself

Go and enjoy it’s about the kids it’s fun!!! Past is the past You are the Better one!!!

You bought them the costume(s), you took them every year and the Halloween they will remember will be this one. “The one time dad is there” Make sure you are there also. You deserve to be in the memory :slight_smile:

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Maybe he’s just trying to Co parent and knows that a mother doesn’t like to miss these special moments. It’s sad your first thought is other motives and quite honestly maybe this time he’s just trying to be about the kids. Look at the positive, you habe listed so much negative. I mean the first thing you bring up is him not showing up, him working, then it goes to HIS NEW girlfriend, which is irrelevant. After that it’s about money. Who cares, really. If you can go without the above complaints in front of the kids go. If he’s participating by bringing them clearly he wants to go so saying that he just doesn’t want to do it is a bit excessive.

What would your kids like you to do?


My daughter is in college. Many colleges do moms or dads weekend. Her school does parents weekend. I didn’t want to share that weekend with him and his SO. But I did it for her. When we divorced it stopped being about him and i. And all about her. Also she didn’t want two graduation parties so we did one together at my house. Him and his SO helped. Was it easy for me. No way. But we did it for our daughter.

Go. Its for the kids.

Suck it up for the kids at the end of the day it’s not about your or him it’s about those kids

Go with. It’s not about what you or him want it’s about what’s best for the kids. It’s not always easy to suck it up and do what’s right for the kids.

Be there for the kids…they are only little once

Find out what the kids would like. They may really want their mommy there.


Go … Your kids need u


Well offer the dad to bring kids if you not feeling up to it

Don’t go If you don’t want to

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I think it depends on ages of your kids tbh. If they’re over 8 and you been there every year then take a break. Let him form some holiday memories. When my kids were little I enjoyed talking them around, as they got older I’d just let the big one take the younger one. There six years apart. Last time I walked around with them my youngest was 8 and his brother about to be 14 and I called it my last year doing the five Mile hike everywhere. Kids will walk forever for candy. I’ve never really been a Halloween person though, Christmas is the holiday where I shine lol so I may not have same perspective. I still decorate for Halloween and pass out candy but that’s about it. Oh and buy their costumes of course lol. I’m not gonna shame you into going by going on and on about the kids. It’s one day and will not damage your love or relationship with them in any way. I’d say all them if they really want you there. If they get all excited and the eyes light up, and you can struggle through then go. If they seem not to care one way or the other then do what you want.

I would ask the kids to see what they want. If they want you to go then by all means go.

Let him take them for once, he’s a big boy, if he can make them he can do it alone or he can invite his new boo to go and that gives her time to bond with the kids too. After they trick or treat you can have your own party with your babies at home checking the candy, a cute apple bobbing, carving another pumpkin, paint your face, make up scary stories in the closet, watching movies with popcorn or something. Toxic relationships should not be performed just “for the sake of the kids” they see and feel the bad vibes too from negative stuff just as much as they can sense if mommy is happy and comfortable. You shouldn’t let anyone talk you in/out of it. It’s plenty of great memories they have and will receive from the both of you whether together or separately. He also sounds lazy and you don’t want to enable him or his new partner into thinking they can do the bare minimum while momma stresses (it’s time to end that stigma as well about single moms).


During my last marriage, I invited my stepkids’ mom to most of the stuff that the kids participated in.

This is part of parenting…lay the differences aside and enjoy trick or treating…its about the kids and not you 2. Once a child comes into this world you are forever connected to the other person, whether you live together or not, for the kids sake, get along. Your kids will thank you later for it. Another reason to be with someone for a long time before you bring kids into the picture. I was raised with the saying that if you’re happy being married, have kids so you can fight! lol

I do all sorts of things with my ex and my son for my kid’s sake and we do not like each other at all. It’s all about the kids and creating memories and good experiences for them

You should go. It will mean everything to your kids if you are both there. And as difficult as it may be especially with a new S.O. in the picture, try to remain friends. That will make sharing the holidays easier. :heart: good luck!

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Do the kids want you along or would they prefer a ‘Dad’ night?
Ask them, it’s only their feelings that matter

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You are both adults and the mom and dad play your part go.trick.or treating with your children and have fun.fornthem even though.your not together anymore make for.your kids.happy Halloween

When you start putting the children first it becomes a no brainer! Go! It’s like going to their soccer games. :blush: you got this mom!

Enjoy the break let him take them if its his night he dont help u cook tea or do the school run or clean the house do the shopping bath the kids do the home work take them friends .docs ect enjoy u time every one need me time

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Go because you get to spend a special holiday with your kids. Forget the rest of the insignificant things it’s about them

Go for the kids have a great time and show them you both can get together without bullshit being said or done

Maybe go for hour? n excuse yourself you’ve got a coffee n lie meet with friend somewhere? But I’d try being there as kids fun time a half hour ?

Decline and take your kids. Easy

Go and enjoy the time with your baby’s it benefits them to see you work together and do your thing don’t worry about him

Counseling after divorce they tell you to do separate to not confuse the children I know this I went to it and believe you Are starting separate lives there are so many events before Halloween or after enjoy time with your children with you let him with his time

Listen to your heart

Its not about you, its not about him…its about the kids.


I would go that’s memories you will make with your children

Do both or just you and kids let him take them another night

Do it let them see that it is perfectly okay for yall to do stuff as a family even though you are separated it is good to show that you can have healthy and fun relationships even after divorce.


It’s for Hallowe’en do the real thing, go guising !

Why do people even have kids?

Just stop being petty and playing games and enjoy as much time with your kids as you can before they become teenagers and hate everything. Dont worry about yours and his relationship. Dont worry about him and his new wife. Be with the kids as a big mixed family before it’s too late. People over think this stuff

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Kids first , go and and have a great time

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Send the kids and you go to an adults fancy dress party. It’s rare I get a break. If your kids are safe with their dad, make the most of it x

Either you want to go or not nobody should be able to answer that question better than you !!

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Just go what will happen if you go it’s all good better to be friends for your kids sake ok

My ex and I always do the holiday things and school things together. Why? So our kids see we still come together for them. We aren’t petty against each other in front of them and no bad words are said in front of the kids about each other.

Who is it for , you, him or the kids? Learn to get along with friend , someday she might be their step mother. Hopefully she will love them like you do. It will make your lives so much easier.

I think he still wants to make things easy for the kids showing them not because he has someone else that he cant have a good relationship with the mother. You should know what you want to do but he is just keeping doing his part its up to you to do yours

Ok. Do not miss out on your children because you are being petty. Who cares if that’s why he’s inviting you… you are able to spend the evening trick or treating with your kids. Make memories with them and show them that mommy and daddy can get along for them. None of the other shit matters at all.

Go! You are making memories for your children which is far more important than your ex’s intentions.

This kind of thing happens regularly with my ex. He doesn’t pay or doesnt turn up, then all of a sudden wants to do something “together” with the kids (normally so he doesnt have to do any of the “work” with them). My advice? Go. Grit your teeth, smile for your children, and go. Always show up for them. It’s about them, and they need to know you will be there consistently for them. They’ll figure him out on their own.

Ask your kids and you’ll have your answer.