What would you do about a co parent who is chronically late for pickup/drop off with the kids? The father of my kids and I live about an hour and a half away from each other and so we both meet halfway to exchange the kids every two weeks (he only gets them every other weekend) but my issue is that he is at least 30 minutes late every time without fail. Meaning I am driving for 45 minutes then sitting in a parking lot for 30+ minutes. It’s a huge waste of my time and I’ve asked him kindly to try to be more punctual because I have things to do back at home but the lateness continues. He was an hour late today. He has no legitimate reason for being late other than his poor time management skills. It isn’t because of work or anything important.
Leave 1/2 hour later. Or even an hour.
You should start leaving a hour later and make him wait. Maybe then he’ll realize it’s not cool.
Then you show up late to drop the kids
Are you 100% sure that hes not stuck at work? I could see it happening once in a while with traffic. Why not leave and be a few minutes late yourself? If not go back to court and get it addressed there again
To be honest be happy he even shows up there are kids out there who don’t have that. So what he’s late… be grateful he’s there.
If he’s late document it. Take pictures of the clock. He gets 15 minutes after said time then you leave. That’s not fair to your kids or you. Document everything.
He forfeits his time if he can’t be there when he’s supposed to, bet if you left and not give him the kids he wouldn’t be late again
Tell the court or leave 30 minutes later than normal
Probs won’t change go later
Leave later or see if there’s anything in your custody papers about the tardiness some state if the child is not picked up within the 30 minutes of pick up time you can cancel and go home
If I were you I would leave 30 minutes later
Tell him he is taking your parenting time and you are going to start making it up. Then keep the kids longer.
After 15 min you can legally leave. Fuck that shit
Ok he’s late, whocares. At least he shows up.
I would have him text you when he’s leaving his house so you know when to leave
Ask him what is a better time for pick up and drop off. If he cant make the time. Work with him. That’s how co parenting works.
If I were you I would just be an hour late
If it’s a set time on paper, document every single time he’s late with pics and such. If the courts do nothing then be late yourself. He won’t like it but maybe he will get it when your late every time as well
Stop meeting. You drive all the way to pick them up and he drives all the way to pick them up. You can be waiting at your house for him to arrive and you can arrive at his house on time.
My ex also lives 90 min from our drop off location. Have you tried asking him to simply send a text when he leaves so that you can calculate travel time from there? It worked for us.
Say you can’t take him being late anymore and for him to call you when he gets on the road
So what… He is there. Don’t punish your kids from not seeing him cuz you are bitter over having to wait. There are bigger problems in this world so be grateful he shows up for them no matter how late… Stop being on time be a little later and move on
So knowing that could you find soemthing to do with your child like play at McDonald’s or leave 30 minutes later? I mean it’s unfortunate but at least he’s showing up.
Be glad he shows up… maybe tell him an earlier time to make sure he gets there on time .
Tell him he can be on time from now on or bring them all the way to your house!!
Do not show up late like ppl are suggesting… Then your at fault and doing same thing he is. If taken to court then you would be in the wrong too. You drive to his house to pick up and he drive to your house. Problem solved. Both drive the whole way.
I get the it’s an inconvenience but I would use the time to catch up on a book I’m reading or run some errands if possible.
Start showing up an hour later 
Leave 30 minutes later
Honestly with my xhusband if he was 20min+ late he wasnt allowed visitations per the judges order bcuz he was showing up 2 or 3 hrs late every time. He eventually just stopped coming bcuz his then wife threw a fit anytime he had to come get my kids.
I would be driving all the way to drop them and he would be driving all the way to bring them home.
You can just be happy that your child has their other parent…
Maybe that extra half hour hes doing his best to say goodbye to his kids that he wants to spend time with.
Well you could either start being late so you are both there the same time or you could leave and he has to come to you since he’s missed his chance. Your agreement should say a time limit. (Usually)
Stop driving halfway. Make him come get them and you pick them up at the end of his visit.
Start having him drive the full way to get them
Just leave a bit later
I personally would tell him call me or text me when you are leaving your house . Then I would leave to meet him
Him text you when he leaves than you leave. Or have him drive all the way to pick them up and you do the same.
Legit just tell them 30 to 45 minutes before you plan on being there.
Our county’s standard order says if a parent is more than 30 minutes late to pickup you dont have to stay and wait for them
Those at least he shows up comments fucking ridiculous. So mom should have to sit in the car with the kids keep them at peace all while they are getting aggravated waiting on his ass. HELL NO. He should be a grown as man and be there on time. That same mentality doesn’t work for doctors appointment at least I’m here bullshit.
Easy you drive the whole way then he drives the whole way back🤷♀️
I’d use Waz or something like that so you leave when he leaves. Or just start pushing back when you leave by 30-ish minutes.
Hell leave out 30mins late then
Do what’s best for the kids, not you. It’s not about you or him, it’s about the kids. Quit being petty.
Make him come all the way to pick up
At least he’s getting the kids…dang.
Ask him if he can text you or call you to let you know he’s on his way. Leave when he leaves. Or if you know it’s a pattern for him to be late, leave a bit later
I’d start leaving after he’s 30 minutes late. He’ll learn.
Ask if he needs the time adjusted. Then if he can’t make that time just assume he’s going to be late and plan accordingly.
Is it possible its drive time and work complications? Give them a break. Its HARD for ANY parent man or woman to manage everything
Unless he lets you know ahead of time then that’s unacceptable. File a show cause with the court because he’s not following court order.
I say if he keeps on being late like this, tell him he can just come to your house and pick them up when it’s more convenient for him.
Not sure where your drop off is but if there’s a gas station or any store around you buy something keep the receipt to prove you were there and how long it took him to get there
Address with court. Order pickup at DSS or local police station.
He’s never going to change so think of alternatives.
I would tell him you’re changing the time and then still show up at normal time 🤷
I’d be an hour late every time I dropped the kids off 
Id give him a window of time, if he doesn’t show within that window, leave, too bad if he wanted to see his child they’d have been a priority and he’d be on time. If it’s an all the time thing he just does not give a shit to care about anyone but himself. Your obligation is to have the child available for visitation. If he doesn’t show on time that’s on him and you did exactly what you’re suppose to and it’s not withholding visitation as you showed up, he didn’t so it was his choice to skip his visitation.
Make yourself late let him see how it feels reversed
So tell him you’re leaving and wait about 30 minutes and meet him “on time”
If you plan to meet at 12 tell him 11. I have to do this with my poor time management skills. 
He drives all the way to get them, you drive all the way to pick them back up.
Him being late all the time is just inconsiderate of your time.
Depending on distance, the courts usually give leeway for time so you may not be able to a do a thing…my husband had one with his ex and because we were both traveling an hour, the leeway was 30 mins. After 30, the parent could leave…honestly though that really hurts the child… Just leave later???
I would start showing up a half an hour later.
Know people who are always late. If you are both the same distance have him txt or call when he is leaving…or tell him to meet you30 minutes earlier then you plan to leave.
You could just pick them up since it is the same amount of time.
Keep documenting. If it keeps happening, file with the court for a change that he pick up and drop off at your house!
Some people just aren’t capable of being punctual no matter what. Others have trouble with time management because of changes (adding a new child, moving, etc.) effecting how much time they need to get ready and leave.
Depending upon the person they may not ever be able to punctual, no matter how long you know them. I know people like that and I think the only solution is to tell them to meet 15-20 minutes before you actually want to meet them.
Show up 2 hours late and see how he likes it 
Can one drop off and one pick up ? So you’re not meeting in the middle - one is responsible for either side? Same amount of driving
Work it out between you! Maybe he picks up from your house and you pick up from his! He’ll still be late probably but at least u can get on at home! and when u pick up u get your kids back on time! Half the battle!! Xx
I can’t believe the number of people who say to just be grateful he shows up. This isn’t a question about gratefulness, as she can be both grateful AND pissed off that he is chronically late. He is disrespectful to her and to his child. By being late, he’s consistently telling his child that he isn’t important enough to be on time. Dad needs to step it up, or they need to make a better decision about it. I agree that maybe both parents driving round trip would be good.
Show up late as well🤷🏽♀️
Donne lui rendez-vous et n’y va pas .ca va lui servir de leçon
So maybe talk to him/her & say this ???
Good luck doing anything about it. Mine pays child support whenever he wants during the month even tho it’s due the first and they don’t care.
I had this problem and with me working 2 jobs at the time and going to college I had it put in my custody papers if he was more than 30 min. Late he forfeited the visit and if I was late he got extra time for how long I was late. (Which I was never late 
he just felt the need to say something lol) i had to have it that way so I could find a sitter ASAP if need be. I never had to use it after it was set in stone like that. BUT with you guys meeting it would be a waste of gas and time for you. Maybe you guys could trade? One drop off, one pick up? Idk hard situation.
When he doesn’t show up to pick-up the kids on time, leave. when he calls asking where you are, say you were there and waited 15 minutes and he wasn’t there. If he still wants the kids he will need to drive to your place to get them. Do the same for when he drops them off to you. He will likely threaten to take them back home with him, but if he doesn’t have child care it will likely not be something he can truly do. A couple instances of that, he’ll start showing up on time.
How about you get there later than said time since you already know he’s going to be late? 
So if your meet time is say 5:00 just plan to be there at 5:30
If he is not on time just go home again with the kids try that he might get the message after a while
Most states you are only obligated to wait the 30 mins otherwise the visit is forfeited… you could give the option to come all the way and get this kids but if he doesnt then it’s on him
Have him message you when he leaves the house
Read your visitation papers. In mine(I’m in Ohio) if they do no let you know they are running late and it’s just for no reason then 30 minutes after they are supposed to pick up they forfeite their visitation and you leave. I would call him if he is 15 minutes late, to find out why. Keep doing this and keep a journal to document all of this. Time you got there, times you called, time he showed up. After a couple months of this send him a text message asking him why he is always late for pickup and that he needs to be on time. This way you have proof in writing that you tried to discuss it with him. If it doesn’t change then go to court with all the info and ask for him to have to pick up and drop off for all visitations
Have him message when he is leaving.
Let his ass start waiting on you!!! That’s exactly what I started doing… being just as late as he was. It helped me feel better for waiting all the times I had to wait. Eventually he stopped being late and I did too lol
We live in Florida and this is the same thing with her mother. Every single time. We did get a lawyer for this and technically our papers say that if they’re 20 late without notice you can go about your business and they’ll have to come pick them up from where you are.
Set boundaries and limits.
I will be there at 1130pm but not 1145.
Leave and try again next time.
My ex and I also live an hour and a half apart and he gets them every other weekend. He picks them up from school on Friday amd I pick them up from his house on Sunday. You drive 45 min there and 45 min back twice a weekend is the same as driving the whole way once a weekend.
Be late a dozen times dropping them off he’s either to stupid to pay attention to the time , too big of a asshole to care. So WAIST HIS TIME!!! HELL be 2 or 3 hours late PLAY HIS DAMN GAME SEE HOW HIS STUPID INCONSIDERATE ASS Likes it!
Wow. 30mins? Wow. Petty much? Sorry not sorry.
Start leaving 30 minutes later.
He didn’t show up so you and kids went back home? Not sure I would wait that long if a time is specified for pickup. He needs to message you before he is leaving so you don’t have to wait for him to show up.
Tell him you will wait 15 minutes and if he doesn’t show up you’re going home and will meet him at your house. Then do it.
Since its every two weeks you could try to find somewhere practical to meet up like a grocery store so that you can do some shopping and if he’s on time you can shop alone and if not you can get some quick stuff done with the kids. If ur in the middle of shopping and he shows up tell him wait til u come out.
Wait 15 mins if he has not notified you and leave. If he wants them then he can come get them
Document every time he is late. Courts can implement an “acceptable window” anything outside of that, visitation is forfeited.
Leave home when he arrives at the pick up spot so that he can wait for you