What do you do about a co-parent who often causes problems for no reason? We broke up almost four years ago, and from day 1, he always tried to start drama and make me jealous. We broke up for good because he hooked up with my childhood friend, and also had an affair while I was pregnant with #2. He finally moved on about a year after we broke up, so I thought it would stop. But just today, out of the blue, he emailed me at least a dozen photos of himself and his new girlfriend together. He also sent a message declaring his love for her and saying he never loved me compared to her, that I’m ugly compared to her, and among just other unnecessary comments. Now, again, this was out of the blue. I haven’t talked to him since last pick up and as far as I knew everything was fine. This happens every now and then, even though I actually do my best to be extra nice to him and his girlfriend both. I invite them to parties, I’ve invited them to school functions, and I was also really generous in court considering his history with his kids and his own personal background. In the beginning, he just wasn’t the father he should have been at all, but I will admit he’s gotten a lot better that way. How do I go about making co-parenting civil with someone who just won’t even try and starts drama out of the blue for fun? 3rd party communication? We have shared custody, he has them every other weekend, and after four years, I just got my first month of child support. It’s just draining constantly having someone in your life causing drama, and if it’s not causing drama, its name-calling and cut downs for absolutely no reason out of the blue. I’m tired of it because I know I don’t deserve it, especially with how hard I’ve worked since day one and dedicated my life to our kids.
Why not block him???
Screenshot everything and show to a lawyer. He can get in trouble for doing that. Or show the screenshots to your courthouse and they will make it so he can’t do that, and if he does he’ll get in trouble.
I would try and block him or talk to your lawyer about it cause no one should have to deal with unnecessary drama like that. Also show your lawyer the emails and stuff.
I would ignore it or just let be like " so happy for you!" Also if screen shot and save everything without saying a word.
He’s still hung up on you otherwise he wouldn’t even stop to think about you. Just ignore him. No communication unless it’s about the kids and if he starts the name calling that’s the end of the conversation.
I thought I wrote this😂 I have very similar happenings to you!!
Cut that shit out. Tell him that unless it pertains to the kids not to send you nothing. Block him if you need to get the point across. Save all of it just in case though.
Ignore it. Tell him you two only need to talk to each other regarding the kids. If he starts on about his drama then hang up. Don’t reply to emails but save them in case you need to go to court over it. I went through a period with my ex husband where we did just that. And usually only a text because we could not have a civil conversation.
I’d forward it to his new girl and ask her to talk to him. If she’s a WOMAN she wouldn’t have that shit. Real WOMEN don’t deal with pettiness of that sort. Better yet, I’d reply, cc her, and ask him why he feels the need to do such a thing.
Just block him lmfao. If you didn’t like the attention from him you would have already done it
Well, he doesn’t love her at all if he’s doing that. He loves you. He’s just a 12yr old abt it.
Block him unless it’s abt the kids…
You can always be really cute and pop off with,
“Umm, ok? Good for you.”
“Hope you’ve learned abt the G spot since then”
Or, “Its so great you were honest abt being a cheater and she’s ok with you possibly bringing home a STD and being disrespected. Good luck to you both!!” 🤷
Why not just delete the message and move on. Stop inviting them places they can live separate lives and still have kids together. Not rocket science.
Get a mediator for anything that has to do with the kids. Then block him from you phone, email, and all
Save all these messages for next time you go to court and they will make it a problem for him
What an asshole, block his ass. Obviously, he is trying to make you jealous and maybe tell him it’s not working and grow the fuck up!
Tell him congrats and leave it alone. He wants you to be bothered, so don’t be.
The courts now have an app where you can converse with other parent and its monitored and the judge takes into account people’s behaviors in the app
Ignore ignore ignore. He’s looking for a reaction. Forward them to his new boo and be done with it.
Ignore him. Or take him to court and insist on you two using “My Family Wizard” as they only method of communication.
IGNORE HIM------act like you didn’t see the messages. But I agree print them and save them, for going back to court.
Simply keep all whole message and pictures by him bring to court let judge deal with it …its not your conern about them since your not with that stupid guy neways…simply tell both your happy that they together but tell her that your glad you take his problem off your hands so she had to deal with him from now on and thier issues isnt yours no more so ingore them from now on
Kill em with kindness. Ignore it some times no answer is the best answer.
Every time he sends you something like that, tell him you’re so happy for his happiness. It’ll stop.
Block him on all social media. Only talk to him when it’s about the kids. Nothing else.
Why in hell are you even giving that w_hole head space??? Delete his ass and ignore him!!
Honey, just smile at him and ignore it, it’s all his issue, not yours, he’s just trying to get a ride out you. Wish him well and let it go. That’ll kill him
Ignore him completely. Sounds to me like he really doesn’t love her… if he has to vow his love to her. Sounds to me like he is still stuck on you … my ex does the same. You just have to push it all out if your mind and stop letting it destroy your peace!
Block him. You only really need to communicate via call or text and only about your children. And stop letting it bother you because that’s why he does it. He wants to get a rise out of you. Now if you have repeatedly asked him to stop and he continues then that’s harassment. He needs to grow tf up. Especially since he’s a father. That’s a horrible example to set for them and they should never be taught to disrespect people like that.
Just say “eh, you’ve had better 🤷” and ignore it. If it continues get a 3rd party and stop talking to him.
It’s not drama unless you put yours in. When he sends you those things just reply with “k” or send him a thumbs up. It will make him feel stupid since he is trying to get a reaction out of you. Don’t give him the pleasure.
Write him back and tell him that u are really happy for him, your sorry that your love didnt compare to hers and you wish him the best of luck with his new love. He is a classic narcissist and he wants you to stroke his ego and hes trying to set u off because he thrives and ctaves for it…i went through this for the past 7 years with my first sons father, like u i thought once he moved on it would stop but NO, it doesnt especially if you react to what he says. If u make it known that ur happy for him and then limit your contact to only about your kids then it will dwindle away because its not fun to him anymore because hes not cutting u down and making u hurt. I promise u it works. Good luck
Ignore him. He will stop once he realizes he doesn’t have an audience. It’s hard but it works
Unless it’s about your children, ignore him.
Block him on everything. They have a parenting app, family wizard I believe?..where you can text, strictly about kids. He isnt worth the stress. Hes still mad you left him, probably.
Hes obviously not over you and clearly doesnt love her more if he has to announce it lmao what a foolish “man”…
I think he is a narcissist, he is getting his rocks off by aggravating you. He is trying to get control over you.
Girl laugh at him. Hes so dumb lol
Just be the bigger person and literally ignore ANY communication that doesn’t involve your kid. So what if hes sending you pics? It just shows he feels like hers got something to prove. Print them out and play darts with their faces to alleviate your frustration. Concentrate on you. Your life, your family, freinds and happiness. His doesn’t matter to you. He sounds like a total ass to be honest. It’s a way of controlling you. Just act like you haven’t heard/seen. Just constantly be the better person. He will get bored eventually. My ex used to do passive aggressive like this, and nothing annoyed him more than getting ZERO reaction from me! X
Just ignore it. Tell him you are glad hes happy and that you are happy for him . Put a smile on your face and feel blessed you don’t have to put up with his cheating ways.
Ignore his messages unless it has to do with your children. Maybe reach out to the girlfriend and see about communicating with her for drop offs and pick ups if it’s easier! Do whatever you have to to make sure your children come first and don’t bring them into any drama.
Probably not even him it’s her and it’s her being petty because he still loves you
Yes keep it classy that will drive him insane!
My ex harrassed me for years after I left. try and move away…
He isnt over you and wants you to believe he is so happy when hes clearly not. Good luck, hon. Glad you realized ur worth
Get the my family wizard app ! Its the best thing that has happened to my family !
Be the bigger person & kill him with kindness
NO reason to be jealous, & it seems he may actually be jealous of YOU, as you have done fine without him & he obviously cant do fine on his own…
When it happens, congratulate him on his new found job, love, home, car, whatever it may be. Tell him how great it is he is getting his life in order & that you LOVE hearing that, for your childrens sake…
When he sees the reaction is no longer getting him the attention he is seeking, it will stop~ My daughter has one just like it~ Yet he still cant figure out how to be a decent person or father~
Don’t give him the time of day. Its about the kids cut and dry. Silence is powerful. That’s it about the kids if anything else is brought up leave it alone he is winning he is taking your time up. Just try it.
If you have a time sharing order you can have a communication clause added, that allows you only to communicate through the app. The courts can monitor and advise communication to only be related to the children.
Omg sounds like my ex husband
Just don’t respond and if you do make sure its about your kids not his life. Dont let it get to you ot he wins and will keep doing it
I would save every text. Every email and quietly document it all. Be kind as you have been. When you feel you have had enough or you have enough to charge him with harrassment then go for it. Good luck!
Is it possible for you to go back to court to file for harassment? Print out everything he sends you and take it to court with you. Have the courts set it up that he is only allowed to contact you strictly about your child. If he violates that by harassing you more and doing the same thing, he can get in trouble with the court.
I literally wouldn’t respond unless it was about the child.
All you need to do is be and act like the parent you would want to have if you were your child , then let him be who he is and just dont engage unless its abt the kids , don’t even react to any emails like that . I mean save all info in a file just in case but dont bite the apple.
My youngest sons father does this, I have learned to just completely ignore anything he has to say if it doesn’t involve our son, It has stopped it all for the most part,
Block him from your Facebook block him from your phone number and then you won’t have to see that stuff anymore
Block him on your email. Also, show that in court as your reasoning for no longer allowing communication between you two. Tell him to no longer contact you. He can pick the kids up from school Fridays and you can pick them up on Mondays. That’s that. He knows what he is doing.
Following! Same boat
Save every text, every email, every picture. Just everything. The times you invited them. But don’t reply harshky. Keep calm. Just stick to whatever it is about you asked or about the kids. And keep it documented that he only paid child support once in the 4 years. Then go to court and see if there is a place that can help iwth pick ups and drop offs if you still want them to see him. And make sure he pays for the services.
Just don’t respond Ignore his pictures emails and everything don’t stoop down to his level
When he sends you stuff like that straight up respond “that’s good, glad you found someone” dont be negative or ignore him cuz you would be feeding into his idea that your jealous
I think it’s clear you’re being too nice and too lenient with him. Why you haven’t gotten a restraining order against him I don’t know but perhaps it’s time you consider it. It’s obvious he’s not over you and he is trying so hard to hurt you pointlessly. Cut him off. Block him and get a court mediators to arrange pickups and exchanges with your children but don’t give him the opportunity to continue to harass you.
Obviously you’re not jealous and obviously killing him with kindness is backfiring and adding fuel to the fire so just cut him off from contacting you. It’s not about being jealous or hurt, it’s about not playing the game with him. That’s what he wants, don’t give it to him.
Block him on any and all accounts. Don’t get riled up. That’s what he wants. He is trying to hurt you in any way that he can. Some day karma will come back for him. It always comes back.
Girl please don’t talk to him don’t respond to anything at all when you do he know he has your attention keep everything he sent you you may need it court one day you should not let him decide what kind of life you are going to have
Ignore it as much as you can
Just don’t respond to his BS. Unless it’s about your children, delete it and move on. He just wants to get a rise out of you. If you show that you’re not bothered by it, he’ll eventually stop.
Sounds like he’s not over you. Ignore him, but don’t delete any of the previous texts/emails in case you need them for court
You just answered your own question. You dont need Facebook to tell you that. Put on your big girl panties.
Block him . On everything. Print out what hes doing and sent to police
“Please don’t contact me unless it’s regarding our shared children” on repeat until it sticks. He is definitely just mad and trying to strike at you anyway he can because child support. He’s probably doing it in front of gf to make her happy because of the lost money.
When he would send me stuff like that my answer would be glad your happy but rember one day she will get smart and leave to. I also would keep all of it and take it to court house.
Of it was me I’d be telling him thanks for thinking of me and I hope your having fun f***ing another person just remind him he’s already got baby everything else is irrelevant to you
The best way to reply is I am happy for you. Glad she is everything you want and need. Glad there was someone to make you happy. That is all I would reply back if I even did reply back.
He’s missing you. 100%
He wants a reaction out of you to see if you feel the same. Mind games you should try and ignore!
Save all of that and show the court. Keep responses short and blunt if you respond at all, which I recommend against.
“Cool. Happy that you found somebody.” and so on.
Girrrrrlllll…in the nicest way I can possibly say this…it’s time for you to grow up. If there is drama…it’s because you have a part in it, as well. Ignore him. Don’t react. Don’t respond. Just do you. Make the drop offs and pick ups, quick and pleasant. If he is unfit, take him to court. If he’s fit…leave him alone when he’s with his kids. This drama can be done, if you want it to be.
Just tell him you’re happy for him because you don’t miss him or his small penis either so you all good
Jk. just ignore him.
Are you 100% Positive it is him Sending the emails?? Because it could be a VERY JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND trying to start junk or make herself fell better because her relationship with him is not good or what they are making it out to be…
Jk. just ignore him.
Hes immature he still loves you and don’t know how to tell you no he thinks getting a reaction out of you is how he get you but he’s going about it all wronged called psychology
Ignore him, make a file of all his bullshit for the just in case future court issues. Dont lower yourself to his stupidity. Continue being the best mom to your kids and put them first above even your personal needs. He’ll tire himself up soon.
Is he a drinker? Getting drunk and emotional, trying to hurt you. Completely ignore it. Let him think you never even got messages from him.
Just quit!get a lawyer or advocate, and move on
Maybe it’s his girlfriend who is sending you the emails, pretending to be him.
Sounds like he still has a thing for you. It’s sad how people can’t move on. Your child I hope don’t see this behavior but I can almost bet he says things around the child. I hope all works out. I would definitely take this into court and put him in his place. Him sending this information through email can be used in court. He is such a child.
Continue to just ignore. He is probably hoping you will show this to his new gf in hopes of getting some sort of reaction. He is still upset and angry. Continue to live life to the fullest
It actually sounds like he’s jealous of you, not being with him if that makes sense? I think he still has feelings for you and he’s striking out at you because y’all aren’t together. He needs therapy
Look up the “grey rock method” on non responding as a response. Could work in this situation.
Take him back to court. Lay everything out and let the judge tell him to grow up. It’s prob the only way he will
This is what I would do, I would say thank you for the compliments. Act like it doesn’t bother you, when he sees it not bothering you he stop. The more u fight with him about it the more he do
When he sends you an e-mail, just delete it. He sounds like a big baby and you have enough to do. Stop inviting him and his latest squeeze to events, move on.
Ignore him! Looking for attention or sympathy. Trying to get you to react. If you don’t pay attention,then he loses the power to upset you.
Block him on whatever device he sent you the pics on. Tell him you’ve blocked him on said device because “your personal life is your own and I’m not interested in it.” then tell him that you will block him on subsequent devices if he sends you any more photos of him or her. And stick to it. If he wants to be able to talk with you about the children, he needs to behave himself. If not, he’ll have to purchase a homing pigeon.
Third party communication…only. No direct link to you at all. Often say nice things to your kids about them…out of the blue…Not just because the kids initiate convo. Good luck.
My sister struggles with drama from her ex- what she does is just ignore his comments/ messages that aren’t about the kid. communication is about the kid only- while he doesn’t always respect it and still tries to start stuff- if she doesn’t feed into it he doesn’t get the attention he wants and it stops quickly
It’s not out of the blue, he just had to pay child support! Him & gf r probly short $ now! SOOOOO NOT UR FAULT, I would send a polite email saying so happy for u and leave it at that:+1: good luck
Ignore it! There are issues in his head. When he calls you a name or insults you, smile and say thank you. That way he loses control over you. Some people just suck is all.
How do post a question I have? I need some advice as well