My ex is dating a married woman: Advice?

My ex is currently dating a married girl who is lying to her husband… she has two boys. My son goes over to his dad’s every other weekend… when my son is there, his dad continuously beings this girl around… my son does not like her… he tolerates her… I hate it that my son has to basically beg for his dad’s attention when she is around… I don’t feel like she should be there interfering in the father-son time… also, should I say anything to the husband?

78 Likes

I would absolutely say something to the husband. Can you keep your son home so he’s not witnessing this?

1 Like

I’d tell the husband. But that’s just me. I’ve been cheated on before and I appreciated it when someone who knew told me.

14 Likes

I would say something to the husband if she taking up my son’s time with his father but I’m petty lol :joy::rofl:

7 Likes

Nope! Stay out of it. It will only make you look like you’re jealous. Unfortunately, there’s very little you can do about who he allows to be around your son. Unless you have proof they are doing something illegal or your son is in danger

17 Likes

omg…mind your own business

18 Likes

Mind your own business …

13 Likes

Def tell the husband! If I were in that position I’d want to know. Screwed up when people know but say nothing about it. Minding your business is f*cked up

4 Likes

If you have physical proof i absolutely would tell the husband. The relationships he models in front of your child are the ones your child learns from.

37 Likes

I would tell the husband. But him having a girlfriend around is gonna happen.

3 Likes

I wanna say mind your business cuz that’s the “adult” thing to do but the inner petty bitch says blow that shit up girl, if she’s taking time from your son ya know

Sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to cause drama. If your child isn’t in danger, let it go and move on.

30 Likes

If it was the other way around. A woman would want a man telling her. So I would tell him. 100% I would tell him. But back it up with a lot of proof

8 Likes

My opinion is do not say anything to the husband, that’s not your place and you have no idea the full story. Also unless you have cameras etc at dads house how exactly do you know your son is fighting for attention? Unless your son is in immediate danger of some sort i would not say a word.

3 Likes

If hes not in danger you should just raise your son and not worry about the ex hubby. Unfortunately this one needs to play out. Just love on your son when he is around you and that is all that should matter

4 Likes

Uhm no. Unless she’s a safety issue this isn’t your concern. No matter how f-Ed up it is. You are also about to create a lot of unneeded hostility with your ex. And he’s not going anywhere so you’d have to live with that.

5 Likes

I don’t think it’s any of your business just because you don’t like what he/she is doing, but I’d definitely tell the girls husband

When her husband finds out you don’t know how he will react . What if he decides to go and harm your ex and your son is with him. It could be dangerous.

11 Likes

It’s none of your business what he does in his private life just tell him to spend more time with his son.

3 Likes

Unless you can prove she actually has a husband and is in a relationship with you ex…you sound jealous. If your son is not physically or being mentally abused stay out of your ex new relationship

4 Likes

None of your business

2 Likes

Ok. So it seems as if there’s information missing. For starters, can you fight? Also, if you open that can of worms, are you prepared for those consequences? Also, how do you know that they’re not separated and live in the same household? Also, are you prepared for the aftermath coming from your ex if you decide to take that path?! Lots of questions :woman_shrugging:

4 Likes

Stay out of it. It’s not your relationship and not your drama to cause. As for your son, unless it’s in the court agreement that other people shouldn’t be around, there isn’t much you can do about who dad has around during his visitation time unfortunately. Unless the other woman poses a danger to your child, then I’d take it to court.

3 Likes

Perhaps help your son, if he is old enough to communicate with his father about how he feels. If that isn’t an option express your concern, but his personal time is his, just like your personal time is yours.

Remove yourself and watch karma do her thang​:rofl::raised_hands:

1 Like

Your time is your time, his time is his time, don’t ever tell your ex what to do and how to do it in their own home.

You trusted the man enough to have his baby then you need to trust him enough to raise his kid (maybe not exactly how you would see fit) but that won’t kill the kid.

Pick your battles.

This ain’t one of them.

12 Likes

With cheating I have always looked at it like this I’m not going to lie for you but I’m not going out of my way either. The truth always comes out if she is cheating on her husband who’s to say she will not cheat on him sounds like they might be great together

3 Likes

Yeah it’s not any of your business. Go through the courts if you want specifications. If your son is old enough he may be able to decide himself if he wants to go over or not. If he “tolerates” her and he’s young then I take it he may be being coached and he’s telling you what you’d like to hear…

3 Likes

It could straight back fire in your face so think about it more and make sure you have proof before saying anything because you could be just called a liar and jealous and what not but honestly I’d just have a talk with your ex and tell him how your sons feeling about having attention from him instead of getting involved of his dang drama with a married woman that’s on him let the woman’s husband find out on his own

1 Like

I’ll probably come off as the bad guy when I say this, but it’s not your business. It’s not your business as far as who your ex is seeing. How your son feels about who his dad is seeing IS your business. Not sure how old your son is, but if he is uncomfortable going to his dads, don’t force him and when Dad asks why, tell him. But as far as dads relationship, stay out of it. Doing this will allow you and your son to see where he stands with his dad and will tell him if he is more important or if dads girlfriend is.

5 Likes

No it’s really none of your business.

And as for your kid, unfortunately he will see what kind of man your EX is.

Went through this with my daughter. Never spoke a bad word about the man and she has formed her own opinion. If the child isn’t in danger… Let it go.

Not your business PERIOD! if he wants to date a married woman that’s his choice not yours. Also, you can’t control who he hangs out with :woman_shrugging:

Unless there’s a safety issue, it’s really none of your business to get involved.

2 Likes

Shes married I’d tell her husband and wouldn’t let your son go. What if her husband shows up when your son is there and starts something do u want him seeing it. Tell him no more visitation until shes gone. Take him to court

6 Likes

I think the better question is how did you go from Daddy has a girlfriend to Daddy’s girlfriend is married to another person how much investigating did you exactly do… Unless she’s a safety issue I wouldn’t mind someone else’s business at all… What do you think she’s going to do break up with your son’s father and stay with her husband… She obviously doesn’t love her husband… I doubt he would be the one she chooses in this situation…I would talk to your son’s father maybe about spending more time with him than what your son has expressed to you otherwise just got to tell you to mind your business on that one if she’s not a danger to him

That’s not your place. But you and your son should have an open conversation with your ex about how he’s feeling and set some boundaries.

Remember you cant change anyone so you should just worry about you and not involve yourself in some drama

2 Likes

Would you wanna know if the rolls were reversed?

3 Likes

The fact that he has someone around your son. Is going to happen. Just like you at some point will probably date someone and have them around your son. You are no longer with your child’s father. How old is your son? Maybe he should tell his dad he would like to spend a little more time just one on one with his dad.

You shouldn’t. Your son should

2 Likes

If this was him doing this to you and he was screwing around would you like to know ? I say tell the husband but as for him having another gf its going happen he is single

1 Like

As far as the relationship, not your business. As far as your child if he doesn’t like her, then that needs to be discussed

1 Like

Mind your own business. You sound jealous

9 Likes

Just go on with your life. Talk to your son about what you believe is right and wrong,also explain you can’t control what daddy does, just like daddy can’t control what you do.

3 Likes

Life happens! I’m sure you all will come to an understanding or an agreement? Keep an eye out for your son! The father’s mistakes is his own!

1 Like

What he does is not your business anymore, UNLESS your son is abused or neglected in some form.

7 Likes

No, don’t get involved. But have a conversation with your son that his Dad’s behavior has consequences. I just hope that your son isn’t around when it goes down.

2 Likes

As sadd and disgusting as it is, don’t interfere, his your ex for a reason, if your son is in danger then by all means but unfortunately you can’t do anything about it. Ultimately everything done in the dark comes to light, pray about it and leave it. What your ex is doing should be none of your concern the only thing that should be your concern is the well being of your son and if you interfere it could push your ex to have absolutely no contact with your son and that’s something you don’t want. You be the better example to your son.

I would say something to the husband but im petty like that sometimes :woman_shrugging: but ultimately just have a conversation with the father

2 Likes

None of your business.

3 Likes

Yeah, that’s a bad situation. I wouldn’t say anything to her husband. I wouldn’t want my child with him, when her husband finds out. Honestly I don’t think any new partners should be around the kids, until the relationship is serious. Clearly he’s not getting serious with a married woman, so I would talk to him about that at least.

5 Likes

It is her business if her son gets caught in the crossfire of a jealous husband and his dad put him there!! Dont say it can’t happen to me when it happens everyday. A mother does not have to tolerate an exs stupidity if it may endanger her son. I would feel the same if it was her involved with a married man!!!

11 Likes

I’m all mouth so everyone would be getting cussed out especially the married woman because if her husband found out and wanted to pay a visit to the ex’s house and the son is with him, it could end up on a dangerous situation. Play with my kids, you play with me and that’s on Mary had a little lamb.

19 Likes

I would because the nasty excuse of a female is around your kid and taking his father/son time away

2 Likes

Sounds 99% like jealousy n your to much in your X’s life than your own… Your son is thriving off your actions to please you, which is totally wrong on your behalf

9 Likes

You need to be dating for atleast 6 months to come around my kids if hubby and I ever break up that’s our rule for both .must be serious must be a decent relationship and the other parent gets introduced to new person. And a discussion must be had to establish boundaries .

4 Likes

None of ur business stay out of it ur ex can date anyone he likes even if that person is married. The only thing you can do is talk to ur sons father about how ur child is feeling when he is with dad.

14 Likes

Bitter much?? It’s ur EX!!! It’s none of your business , worry about your son only!!

5 Likes

You have no say who comes into the father’s house your not with him anymore,just mind your own business

3 Likes

Not. Your. Place.
Not. Your. Lane.
Not. Your. Business.

If your child isn’t in danger, you have no right. Period.

11 Likes

Idc how many people are saying it’s not your business. Yeah I’d tell him, no one deserves that.

17 Likes

Dont involve yourself. If your son is upset tell him to express it to his dad or tell your ex you’d appreciate it if he seen his gf on the days that he doesn’t have him because your son feels a little neglected when she’s around.

4 Likes

That’s none of your business . Why don’t you focus on the fact that your child is being taken care of more than focusing on your ex’s relationship? Dad is entitled to have a significant other!

1 Like

Crappy situation, not your business.

Shit I would tell her husband😂 I would ask your ex why he keeps bringing around a married women

Anonymously
But yes.
No one deserves to be cheated on.

It’s not your business who he’s with and has in his place. You can not tell a father who he can and can not have around.

3 Likes

It may not be her place or her business, but it’s teaching THEIR son that it’s OK to fuck around with married women. That I don’t agree with. Kids mimic what they are shown, not always, but a lot. It’s not right. I would want someone to tell me if they knew my significant other was out fooling around with another person. It’s a messy, shitty situation for sure. No matter what you do, saying something or not saying something, there’s really no “perfect” solution here. Good luck. :unamused:

Woman to woman… you need to tell her.

1 Like

All these people saying it isn’t your business need to think about the example he is setting for your son which is a bad one. And you 100% have control over who is around your son.

14 Likes

Msg her husband she’s a cheater

4 Likes

Keep out of it, worry about your own life not his.

6 Likes

I’d tell her husband. Wouldn’t you want someone to tell you?

5 Likes

Depending on the state the woman in question can actually sue you if you tell her husband. Not your circus, not your monkeys. You can not control who your ex is around. Period. The only recourse you may have is through the courts if you can prove this is detrimental to the child. If you can’t prove that then you will lose. Talk to the dad, see if he will agree to not have the woman around when the son is there. If he says no then there isn’t anything you can do unless something criminal happens. Sorry.

3 Likes

Jealousy is never a good look on anyone. It’s not your business. If you have a problem with how your ex spends time with his son then talk to him about that subject.

5 Likes

Sorry, sis. Stay in your lane. It’s NONE of your business, if your son isn’t in danger.

3 Likes

Sooo everyone saying keep out of it. Her son goes to his house. What if the husband finds out and gets mad and shows up to his house and starts trouble. I wouldn’t want my kid around that

18 Likes

What happened to the gurl code! :100:

It isn’t your business. Nor can you do anything if he dates and that person’s in your son’s life. When you meet someone, will they never be around on your time with him? Interfering with your mother son time? Your ex’s relationship and personal business is not your business.

3 Likes

Not your monkeys, not your circus.

Well this person is your ex for a reason. I don’t think you should say anything. Tell your son that he needs to discuss with his father the way he feels. If he isn’t comfortable talking to him by his self than you both can talk to him about it. But the rest is his business. Good luck and God bless.

I would feel torn. Its messy. My only worry would be she will be caught while my son is there and anything could happen. I wouldn’t tell husband but I would request my child not be around her just in case the husband follows her to your ex’s home.

2 Likes

Deff not a good example for his son specially if the son knows what’s going on… But I wouldnt say anything … not your business…, and if your son isn’t comfortable around her , he doesn’t have to be and he can choose to be around her or not and he wants time with his dad and not around her then by your son’s choosing. He should tell him that.

1 Like

If she isn’t harming your son then it’s really none of your business.

2 Likes

Do whatever you feel you need to do…just use common sense.

No. It’s not your business nor is it up to you who he brings around his son as long as the child is cared for and loved. Let it go and live your life.

6 Likes

Super messy. I would want to tell the husband because that’s just fucked up :woman_shrugging:t2: but he could be some crazy lunatic that will kill them all if he finds out. Sooo… idk. Maybe just zip it and see how it all unfolds. What’s done in the dark will always come to light. He’ll find out sooner or later.

What if it was you cheating with her husband ? Would you want your ex to tell her, im guna take a guess and say NO mine your own business Karen…

1 Like

Is it because of morals or because you’re jealous?

4 Likes

I would let her husband know lol

1 Like

You sound bitter tbh

2 Likes

Just me, but I’d totally tell her

1 Like

How old is your child? Does he know that this woman is married? How much time could she be spending there if she is married?

1 Like

Girl code, tell the other women because no one should feel/wonder why they weren’t enough, why it happened

1 Like

I would say something, let him know he needs to talk to his son, about how he feels when she’s oround

Guess I’m the odd one out, but I’d let him know. Wouldn’t you hope that someone would extend the same courtesy to you if they knew your spouse was cheating?

8 Likes

Kind of need more info… how old is the son? Old enough to state his feelings like this? Did the son come out and say it, or did mother ask what he thinks of said girlfriend…? How do you know for a fact she is still married, not separated? How do you KNOW she is lying about it? Do you know them personally? And know the marital status?? I get the mind your business and I get the i would tell… personally I’d want to know if I was being cheated on… if you told would that cause problems between your sons father and you? Would it effect your son as well? There’s alot of different factors here… do what you think is right… but I would find out for sure if they are married and she is cheating or if they’re separated… and if your son is old enough to state his feelings like that then he should be able to tell his father how he feels, whether he does it himself, or wants your help doing so if he’s more comfortable with that!

Stay out of it. Maybe have your son say something to dad about wanting it to be just the 2bof them but u dont want to cause any drama that could make co parenting harder

2 Likes

I told my ex that when he was having his visitations with his sons on the weekends it was their time not dad and girlfriend time. Told him to see her on his own time. He actually listened which really shocked the shit out of me lol

Damn, you women are feeling harsh AF today.