You are enabling him. You are not responsible for his emotional well being, financially supporting him, feeling sorry for him etc. He is a grown adult and can face the consequences of his own decisions and choices, good or bad.
As long as you keep him around you, he will be there, why wouldn’t he… he is benefiting from you not having boundaries, so why would he all of a sudden change…
Remind yourself what it really is like. Everyday. And press him on work. Tell him he needs to help out financially if not, the money you are spending on maintaining him and the car insurance. Put that towards someone that can help you and pay them
Listen I’ve been in your shoes, don’t feel bad! I was married to my extra child lol and felt stupid and unhappy.
All jokes aside, you really just have to rip it off like a bandaid. It’s hard, I know. But if you continue to make it easy he will not do anything different. 6 years ago I had enough, I gave him a month notice, nothing changed, I moved out with me and my children, paid the next month for him and left, he was surprised I did it, he still doesn’t have it fully together and as much as I was scared to be on my own, I just took the leap and I am so glad I did, I am still on my own, I have figured out and overcame every bump in the road and have met a wonderful man who has his own everything and helps me more in 4 years than my ex helped me in the 10 years we were together. You sound like you can do it, trust me in the beginning you will go through a lot of different and difficult emotions but they will pass and in the end you will be happier and less stress than you are now. You got this!!
You found it convenient for yourself when you moved him back in, did you consider your children’s emotions at all when you moved him back in? And now YOU are putting your children on a emotional roller coaster ride again,cause now you don’t want him there! Your choice to move him without the concern of children’s feeling and what they will go through when you kick him out shame on you…SUCK IT UP, your choice deal with it until children are 17!!! How selfish of you to even move him back in!!! This ain’t his fault, it’s your fault,you moved him in.Everyone on here bashing the man, take your choice and embrace it…Kids feelings,and mental health always come first not what’s convenient for you at the moment…Now such it up and raise the kids together 
If you are financing everything yourself plus for him he doesn’t need to work, if u feel generous give him a car if u have 2, pack his stuff up and kick him out as he is not pulling his weight in relationship nor doing anything to help. Focus on u and kids uve proven u can manage on own.
Seems like his negative results outweigh his positive… lesson you have learned… don’t fall for it again
He can stay at a homeless shelter and they can help him quicker
You’re afraid you’ll get back together. Like you have no self control or like it’s a car accident? That is confusing to read. You are an adult, so dont get back together.
Like…is he just the kids’ babysitter? Do not get back with him. Lord help. I don’t know who is more messed up in this relationship…you or him.
He needs to go that hour away. That’s the only thing that will stop that.
Give him money for gas and tell him to drive that hour to relatives, but if you let him stay then that will be your fault
Look in the mirror and read this out loud to the person in the mirror…you know the answer. Your children are top priority, #1 in your life. End of story. 
Why would you even consider letting him in your house
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He’s need to man up and take care of himself!
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Quit being an enabler. Cut the cord and move on.
Time to tell him to leave he’s just using you because you said he can’t hold a job tell him to pack his bag’s n change all you bank accounts numbers to before he robs you of all your money do it now not later
He’s not gonna make you happy if you have to continue paying all bills yourself. He does not have a JOB!!!
Nothing about him sounds like the actions of a good dad.
Think of all the heartache you’ll go thru again.
You weren’t happy before. Remember that!
You have already fell into the TRAP!
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Wow. Stop helping him… he’s an adult…
A leopard does not change his spots
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Girl u need to buy a vibrator n he got to go!!
Chastity belt. That will help you.
You know the answer to the question you are asking.
Run as fast as you can
You should have never let him move back in
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Let him go and find his own way. You asked him to leave for a reason, remember that!!
Do you have a garage. Move him out there
You have done a great job in answering your own question. . Q is why did he come back to you. Cuz you are dumb enough to let him he knows this about u. Don’t let him. Your kids are worth more.
There are some good responses here for you to filter through. Personally, I I would do exactly what most of these comments say, and have him move out, but only you can decide if that’s the best answer for you and your kids. Are you prepared to keep supporting him?
Umm you don’t know how to set boundaries and say no?? Your afraid you’ll “just end back in a relationship” with someone who you just listed an alarming amount of faults with?? 
That’s called enabling…stop doing it…hiring a babysitter would cost less…
Kick him out and figure out another way to get help with the kids
No way Jose!!! Stop the situation now
Hi is looser .you don’t need him
Girl if you really didn’t want him he wouldn’t be there in the first place
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He shouldn’t even be there
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex is living with us, I'm scared we will get back together, help!
“Pay the insurance so he’ll help with the kids”?!
It’s called PARENTING. He can pay his own insurance AND parent his children, if he’s such a “great dad”. 
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He needs to not be living there. You have 2 children, not 3. He is an adult, capable of making his own decisions, which it’s evident he doesn’t want to do. An hour of a drive is nothing. He can get a job, get a place, and pay his way like every other adult/parent in this world. He isn’t even truly helping you, he is using you and he knows it. If he wants to see the kids, he can find a way to get there. Meaning driving himself, in his car, with his money for gas. He is taking advantage you and again, he knows it.
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Give him a tent. He can sleep outside
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Kick him out. He can make the drive. You’re enabling his immature behavior. As long as you pay his bills and allow him to stay there, you have no room to complain. You don’t just “get back together” you make a choice to be together.
You’re being used- paying his car insurance and car? Why should he get a job or grow up.
No. How about you show your children what a strong woman looks like and give him the opportunity to step up and show he is a real man, or let him disappear into looserhood. Pretty simple.
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The best thing you can do is to let him be a man. Distance yourself to just being in passing if your letting him stay. Stop feeling bad for him. He is like another child that you have to pay for and coddle. He put himself in this situation. Set boundaries. You need an equal, not a child.
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I drive an hour to go to work everyday it’s really not a big deal. He needs to grow tf up
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Why grow up if he’s able to continue acting like a child and someone always takes care of him? He needs to be put out and you need to have someone else to help with the kids. He should get his weekly visits and nothing more. You are lowering your worth!
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You can’t change a man to be what you need or want…he hasn’t over the year’s so he’s not going to change now. Happiness is taking care of yourself and your kid’s is my opinion… don’t fall back into the same situation…
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I’m sorry you are enabling a grown ass man to be a boy. Remember why it didn’t work in the first place. He needs to remove himself, get a side hustle and pay his own shit or better yet find a better job. Your partner is supposed to better you not drag you down.
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He will never get a job because he is too used to sponging off you. Trust me Ive been there until I put my foot down,1,by saying you will continue paying the insurance so he can help with the kids,so basically you are paying him to take care of his own kids,you need to put your foot down and say enough is enough,use the money you wasting on him and put the kids in daycare🙏
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Honestly constantly remind yourself you are better off without him an your in a better mindset for him to grow up he needs this push if he cannot respect you for wanting to separateyou deserve better a partner who sees how much your bringing forward that contributes to your grow an isn’t there to leave a mess and barley help with supporting you an the kids
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Not to be rude but happiness should be when your kids are happy and take it from the hundreds of kids that know they will be happier if you are happy too. And obviously he has problems keeping you happy when it’s most important. He lies about small things all the time. How can you know he isn’t doing that now?
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Why are you letting him live with you?
You really need to be careful. If he lives there long enough he could get the house and you could lose everything.
Trust your gut
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Get him out before it happens,thanks for helping with the kids time to go.
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Any time you start getting “the back together feelings” remind yourself of all the negative things he did, the reason why y’all split up. It’s better for you and your kids to not be in a miserable relationship
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He’s a squatter!! He can still be a father to your kids butNOT under your roof!! Good luck and god bless
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Just think of him as the nanny. Don’t let him into your bedroom, put a good lock on your bedroom door, write everything you hated about being married to him on your bedroom mirror now while it’s all still fresh in your mind, and read it daily. Keep it professional and only discuss the kids with him.
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Reread this post daily. You already know the answers to all your questions. Trust yourself.
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I have a question. Is there a drug or alcohol abuse issue here? It wasn’t mentioned, but usually, these stories stem from somewhere. You have two kids with him. That should make a man wake up. Is there a drug or alcohol problem that you share? Is this why you didn’t mention it?
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U still love him but if u want to work it out tall need to talk about alot of stuff and work on alot together as a team
He’ll never grow up if he doesnt go get his own place etc. Family around or not he’s an adult and needs that tough love.
Don’t let him use u again let him grow up n become a man for his children sure they see what’s going on if they old enough don’t let him teach ur kids how to be a bum throw his ass out
ouds like you are putting more into this relationship than he is,tell him to go and change the locks on the doors and if necessary ,a restraining order .
You are what is known as ‘an ENABLER!’ You’re asking for help when you already know the answer.
You answered your own question…think about the kids.
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Think of reasons you didn’t want him anymore ! Stay strong .
An hr is not a long way to be honest, send him on his way
If that’s the type of man u wanna settle for, sure.
Cut your losses , give him gas money to LEAVE
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If you don’t want to be with him anymore and you don’t want to hurt your children either, then he needs to find another place to live. Live separate and learn how to have a healthy co-parenting relationship. Him living with you is going to confuse your children, which in the end will hurt them. Also, no intimacy! That’s going to send the wrong message and you’ll fall right back into what you just got out of. Cut your losses.
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Stop paying his car insurance take back the car that you gave him sell it and use that money to get damn daycare sent him packing problem solved. And I will clue you in on one more thing sis if that car is in your name if something happens and he does something negligent and hurt somebody or kill somebody or causes property damage guess who’s going to be accountable you
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Keep the car and boot him. You can find childcare… idk why people say he a good dad but then list hella reasons why he’s not
Get rid of the dead weight in order to move forward.
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Just read what made you leave him…
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I think you already know the answer.
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all i see is enabling
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Better stop while you’re ahead! An hours drive away isn’t far. Y’all separated for a reason, better remember those reasons!! If y’all are having sex, it’s a done deal.
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Reading this… I felt like i was reading something i had wrote a few months ago. But remember You deserve better. And he hasn’t changed. Don’t go back and forth anymore. Stick to your guns.
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Thats not healthy for the kids at all that causes confusion and false hope. You’ve already had urr time u see he has gotten far since you departed and now your back to square one. He’s gotta goo
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Give him a time frame. Don’t be afraid to call the police if necessary. Encourage him to live close enough to see and share responsibility with kids. Go to counseling together alone. Not the same bedrooms and a written contract, notarized. Two copies out your in a safe place
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He’s using u to get back in. He knows where his meal ticket is.
Umm… you need to get him out of there before it is too late. Read what you wrote back as if you are talking to someone else. You already know the answer to your question.
He needs to go!! He’s using you and holding you back. You aren’t doing the kids any favors either because they know when you are unhappy and you are teaching them that it’s okay to be treated this way. Get him out now.
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Put him out! You don’t need to be his sugar momma paying all the bills and being the breadwinner. Sounds like he’s getting too comfortable in your home.
Your losing “you” time. Been where you are he shoulda stayed gone. Lost another 10 more yrs on a second chance. My kids whole lives were in misery with him here. Break the cycle for him and more so for you and your kids.
I’m telling you right now, you will fall back into old ways. My ex had these patterns too. Small lies here and there turn into big ones years later. I was his doormat, his mommy replacement. They will not grow up if their childish behavior is enabled… I would ask him to leave asap…
Run that dude OFF!! Come on!!