You should have called the police for a welfare check and show them the videos. Cant do much about drinking, its not illegal. But the whole notneating all day, I would call that in.
Sounds like a great guy all around. Iād let the Court know that he isnāt making safe and proper accommodations for his sonās visits and let karma work it out. The fact that heās partying around your son while he doesnāt even have a quiet place to go to tells me he is not being a good influence for your son. Get him out of there. And heās stupid if he was going to call the police because you were there, Iām guessing to protect himself and say you werenāt invited, but he would have just as well turned himself in because as soon as the police see whatās going on he might been taken away in cuffs, depending on what heās partying with. Iām sure CPS would have been called if not.
In my area getting a well child check is next to impossible, Iāve called for a couple and they never happened 
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Sad but not much you can do. You are very lucky that they didnt put you in jail. After all you broke your own order and in some states it will make it a matter for the courts. You could jave gotten into trouble
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I was told you canāt violate your own order. Thatās what police and judges told me. They can violate it, but YOU cannot. At least in Oregon.
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Should have called the cops the day of the party and say your child is in danger so they could have gone to check and save the videos or pics he posted. Itās one thing to have alil fun but to not feed the child is another.
Trust your momma instincts! Mommas just know, we feel things! Just talk with him about it. breathe mamas, itās always tough when kids are involved no matter the situation but donāt stress yourself out! Keep doing your part for your baby, Iām pretty sensitive when it comes to all my kids but you got this, sending you love mommas 
Iām pretty sure you have had a couple drinks with friends and partied a little bit while your children were sleeping in their rooms or what not.
But from one mom to another if youāre that concerned about it have the people that sent you those videos and pictures save them send them to you and take them to court explaining your concerns and let the judge handle it.
But from personal experience when I had a protection order put out on the father of my child because he was very abusive towards me that protection order went for me and my child.
Instead of going over there yourself creating a problem and a bigger situation for you I like I said would have those videos saved and I would have called the cops and had them go do a welfare check.
but honestly I think youāre getting a little crazy a dad is entitled to have a couple drinks after his kids go to bed. Now if your child was up and he was getting plastered and there was no one else there helping him then I would be concerned but it sounds like heās being a normal parent because Iāll tell you right now I have a couple glasses of wine after my children go to sleep.
Since when can we not have a drink in our homes with children. Iām sorry but if the child isnāt being harmed then so what. Being a petty spiteful baby mamma is not cute, if there were signs of abuse by the father toward the child, that said child would not be in his care. All people parent differently, and thatās okay. Itās okay for a child to sleep on the couch. Also, kids will say theyāre starving and havenāt eaten when they have in fact ate. If there are any signs of abuse get your child to a doctor and call the police. If you just donāt like the fact your ex is doing adult stuff in his own home, then you need to seek counseling.
I found the posts and printed them out and used them as exhibits a, b, c, in an emergency ex-parte order to show cause. Was granted custody and took my son with police and order signed by judge prior to court with a restraining order against me because after a fight i bounced and he gave a report to the police and had some marks. I had a black eye they didnt see til after they issued a warrant. DONT LEAVE, MAKE THE REPORT YOURSELF!
My husbands ex tried screaming child abuse because there is a picture of him holding a beer to his daughter mouth. 
he wasnāt trying to make her drink it he just put it to her lips like a lot of parents do. My husband drinks beer, heās not an alcoholic, heās drank when the kids are here. Also sometimes the kids have fallen asleep watching tv. We let them stay there. If your ex has a bad background of not taking care of the kids then gather the evidence from whoever is spying on him then running back to you to tell you what heās doing. Never ever go to his house when you have a restraining order. That shows youāre putting yourself in harms way and it could easily be lifted. Call the cops to do a welfare check on the kids. Donāt let whoever is running to you with information get involved with your kids/ex drama, sounds like they will only make the situation worse. Itās frustrating that you hear crap but if the children were in danger then that person spying should recommend cops. But if itās something that everyone does on occasion or on weekends, itās his business and not your friends. Like I said call the cops to do a welfare check. Youāre friend is starting drama.
I canāt believe people are defending a parent having a party while a child is asleep on the couch
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You can get your protection order revoked if you do come to him or around him. Judge wonāt take you serious. But for your son your need real evidence like photos and videos. But Iād call and ask for welfare check.
Ugh. This is awful mama. I wouldāve done the same thing. Without context, no, if you have a protective order, going into the perpetrators space is not what a judge is going to want to seeā¦ HOWEVER, WITH your context, you JUSTIFIED your valid reason/concern, etc and I feel like you could justify this in a court. Keep a paper trail: did you attempt to tell the other parent by some means NOT to do this and they refused? Just keep facts for why you did what you did. The more supporting evidence to back up your claim, the better.
Ok that can get you in trouble for one going against your tpo and drinking isnāt illegal so what you did can cause issues he has a right to be himself just because you donāt like him drinking doesnāt mean heās doing anything wrong and him sleeping on the couch is nothing to your kinda being petty sorry
Orders are written very precisely. If he isnāt barred from drinking while caring for your child and you violated an order you may want to consult your attorney or get one. You can always file a petition for modification
I would of stayed there, let the cops Come and show them the evidence of him drinking stupidity while your son is right thereā¦
Document everything
You are the one that went against the protective order, you will be the one to face that. I donāt see anything wrong with a grown man drinking as long as itās not getting out of hand. Iām not sure whatās so wrong with your kid sleeping on the couch. Maybe he couldnāt sleep in his bed so he came to the living room. Maybe thatās why dadās having a couple of drinks. We need to know more of the story.
If u have protective order until use go to court u donāt have to send him especially if u think it isnāt safe I had similar situation and the order was for my daughter as well
Drinking doesnāt constitute partying. My son used to sleep on my couch even though he has his own room. He just didnāt like his bed. As for him being hungry. Idk.
You may or may not have gotten in trouble for breaking the protection order but you can always have a welfare check done on his house while your child is there
There must be more to the story with the situation that happened. Depending on age of child and what actually occurred there isnāt much you can do. Document everything so if anything ever comes up you have it written down. As far as the protection order I would talk to an attorney in your state. In WI the one who sought the order cannot be in violation. If I have a restraining order against someone I can call them and ask them to come over, as soon as they do theyāre in trouble. It has nothing to do with the victim, it is meant to keep the person itās against away. Only the person itās against can violate it. Again, double check what your state says. I understand wanting direction but going online is not the best way to find out. A better idea, reach out to your local domestic violence agency. Since there is a history of abuse they can give you a better direction and talk to you with more knowledge about your state laws.
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You could get in the same amount of trouble as he can for breaking the order call cops to be 3rd person to go over there or a whole other 3rd party
Kids also fall asleep on the couch all the time. Also my kids have literally told my parents I never feed them when they were little 
Yes. Thatās an invasion of privacy charge regardless of who issued the order. It is in Indiana, anyway.
If there isnāt a court order then donāt send your child with someone you donāt feel safe leaving him with. Even if he is the Dad go to court and request monitored visits.
- Get who ever saw the post or told you to take evidence. If they were there get them to take photos of the party and what was happening around the child.
- Get enough evidence together of your son being in a bad situation (left unattended on the couch with alcohol bottles, drunk adults or smokes around him.
- Call CPS and get a Welfare check done. Donāt do it before you have the evidence as they may just suspect your just lying to be difficult with your ex.
- Send the evidence to a lawyer and take your ex to court.
I broke the no contact order and danko and talked with my ex and was in the car with him who I had them filed on and no charges were pressed on me but on him for violating the order when we got pulled over in the car. I would have still gotten my son.
people are alot to drink, and sleeping on a lounge is something my kids and I do alot. I donāt see why this is an issue.
I think you should look in the laws in your state. Also just write down in a journal things you endure with the father especially if thereās speculations that his putting his child in harms way. I donāt think if was wrong of you to go over just to check on your childās safety. Stay safe tho.
You can keep the kid from his dads house, but dad can also keep him from you. Until court orders are put in place
At least he was home and not out drinking and driving or something. I mean honestly itās extremely fucked up he didnāt feed him. But you might get a judge that says that he was at home
Itās hard to walk away but you got this for the best interest of your child and yourself! I assure you!
Your friend shouldāve screen recorded his stories so you could use them in court.
As much as it sucks to hear you violated it amd if he didnāt call then he would have been arrestedā¦if there ever is a next time call cops and have them meet you there
Keep a notebook and document the date, time and write down what happened. You can use it as evidence in court if ever needed.
What happens if the child gets ill/injured while the parent is drunk?
You made the order so you wonāt get in trouble you were risky your safety to save your son
Sleeping on a couch is not child abuse.
You should call the cops before u go over or your in breachā¦if your concerned with his safety u take them with you for record and so nothing can be turned around on you
Next time have them send you the video and also do a welfare check of your worried
Did the courts say heās not allowed to have alcohol. Did they make him do some program for the drinking
Imagine that kid being woke up to be taken home to Mom cause sheās petty
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You shouldāve had an officer escort you over there.
All 18 of yāall that laughed at this is an absolute jerk. Why would a good mama NOT be concerned with this information?!
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I dont think itās against the law to drink around your child, or letting him sleep on the couch or even smoke weed around him. Cause itās legal to smoke in your own house everywhere. Nowā¦if thereās coke or other illegal drugs or heās abusing your kid, or driving w/him after drinkingā¦thatās a different story. His parenting may SUCK but donāt get too worked up. And maybe you picked him up during his lunch time feeding. Kids are always hungry. Dont worry about it. Just be his saving grace and he will remember that. You have a long road ahead with that guyā¦āchoose your battlesā. Unless heās āEndangeringā himā¦the courts probably wont care. Donāt stress. Or just double check with a lawyer so you know where you stand.
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I am so sorry for your son and you and I hope things get better soon.
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Omg sheās not gonna get in trouble. The order is for HER safety. They will just drop the order because it makes it look like sheās not scared. Been there done that 
The police canāt take him away from dad without proof. Or court custody orders
You have to do from the legal way. You canāt go there to pick up the kid, in this situation. Donāt help you. You have to take proofs to the family Court thatās heās neglet with your son
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Did you see these videos?
He can drink while his son sleeps on the couch, I know itās not ideal, but a lot of people do, even good moms who down wine after their kids fall asleep, sometimes even on the couch. The only thing that is concerning is your child hadnt eaten. We all want perfect role models for our kids but there are some things that are legal, and you can drink at home while your kids sleep. 
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Itās all hearsay. āPeople were telling me he was posting videos.ā Without proof, youāre the only one who would get in trouble for violating the order.
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Who ever laughed about this is an complete Asshole, start documenting all of this and find a lawyer.
I donāt understand why anyone would laugh at this post. Hopefully it doesnāt happen to you or put you in this type of situation. If my child was at his dadās house and doesnāt get to eat because heās more concerned about drinking you can believe Iāll go get him myself. Protective order or not. Iād be calling the law behind him. Heās an adult. If itās his time to have the child then he needs to act responsible and parent his kid. Drink on his own time.
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It depends on the terms of the order. Mine said he wasnt allowed at my house, work, babysitter and that he was forbidden to threaten me. I declined the āno contactā part but my order did include our daughter because of similar behaviors that i listed in protection order.
Get a welfare check next time you are told he is doing something wrong, going there yourself will cause trouble for yourself but youāll know about that soon enough because you just broke orders that you had placed on him 
See if people can save those Videos heās posting on socials and send to you so you have evidence of his child endangerment
Log everything!! Take it to court. If you keep track, it will help your case.
First question I would have is, whose the friend telling her what heās posting and whatās the ulterior motive, here? If the ex is a narcissist, heās trying to get her to come over and using their child as a pawn. The ONLY time.my ex ever abused me, was when he was using. You going over to his home would make a judge believe thereās no reason for a protective order if youāre just going over there. Does your ex have a criminal history and stipulations/conditions of probation, by chance?
How would it go against you if you had the protection order against HIM? Of heās drinking and doing whatever else while he has the child in his care you couldāve brought that the cops attention and they wouldāve let you take the child. I was in a similar situation withy ex. He was drunk and we were arguing so he called the cops. I told the cops that I was gonna leave and take my son because he had been drinking and the cops said I had every right to do that. You have rights just like he does.
Always call the cops and request a welfare check. If he is indeed intoxicated and unable to care for the child they can bring your child back to you for his safety. But they will assess the situation and decide what is best for the child. Never turn up yourself because you can get arrested for doing this. I hope youāre okay and your son is okay too. I wouldnāt be comfortable with my daughter being at her dads with people getting drunk and possibly doing drugs. You have no idea the types of people there and what theyāre capable of. I find it to be a safeguarding risk.
Personally I donāt get drunk when I have my kids (I donāt get drunk in general but there has been the odd occasion) because I find it irresponsible. Maybe when theyāre older it wouldnāt be such an issue for me but while theyāre so young it definitely is. I feel you. Iām sorry you had to go through this and I hope your child was okay through it all.
As far as hungry goes, when was the last time he was actually fed? Children can be offered food and refuse it, and this could be the reason? Always get your ducks in a row before making accusations.
You could contact child services and ask for their advice on the situation.
If you get taken to court over the protective order then just explain you were in a desperate panic and didnāt know what to do and it was your basic instinct to protect your child and thatās what you tried to do.
These women dig deep for anything ridiculous
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Idk thatās tricky. Do you have proof? Who was there, how many people? I could have 3,4,5 friends over and have a couple drinks while my child was asleep (even on the couch cause thatās where she chooses to sleep) and like wouldnāt see a problem with it. I also donāt drink now but when I used to I know my limits. Is dad just hanging around with a few friends having a couple drinks? Or is he full on partying to where he canāt take care of the child and is making poor decesions? Also if I felt like my child was in danger I would have went then in the middle of the night, not waited until I got off of work the next day. And I probably would have called the cops and explained the situation to see if they would go there with me to get the child, that way your not in danger of breaking the restraining order.
Youāre protecting your child. Next time id take the police with me to remove the child. If others k own about this and you now do to and thereās a legitimate reason for safely concerns and you return your son to that environment both if you can be in trouble. Id be careful or youāll even up with cps knocking on your door too
How does a protective order work when you both have to talk and see each other when youāre exchanging the child?
Have the 3rd party record video and see for yourself the extent of what heās doing
Call cps on him with the videos as proof if u are that worried about it.
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Women drink wine daily ! Iām Not sure you consider that abuse!
No wonder he leftā¦ no wonder heās having a party
What is your definition of partying? Everything in context would help with actually understanding the scenario
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Call the police. With a protective order you have to abide by the order also or in the laws eyes why would you have it. Also calling the police is best for records when you take him to court for custody if it comes to that.
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Yes, it can go against you. If youre scared of him, then you usd the police to help your son. But if youāre calling the cops on hearsay, you lose. If your son is in true danger, youāll need to go to court to prove that.
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Police would definitely do a wellness check. I know the feeling too because I am in the same boat whereas my childās father assaulted and strangled me so I charged him and put a peacebond on him BUT children services told me he wasnāt allowed visitation due to said charges.
It depends on the state. In Washington you could have a protective order against him, that doesnāt mean you canāt text or call or show up where heās at. Yet if he responds to a text, call, and gets caught anywhere around you. He gets in trouble. Now if you both have protective orders on each other then yes you could be in trouble. Next time call for a welfare check.
How sad! Been there and my sonās father is no longer apart of our lives or my sonās for the betterā¦he made his bed he can lay in it, go to legal aid and fight loveā¦private message me any time if you need 
Iāll listen and or help you through.
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Idk what state your in, but in mine, protective orders are against the perpetrator, you could show up there etc., he just canāt do the same.
A protective order includes your minor childrenā¦but unless your child was in eminent danger, you broke the order on purpose with no reason. Your son was asleep on the couch perfectly fine. His dadās allowed to have people over. Donāt you have your friends over??? Maybe your son fell asleep and he didnāt want to disturb him. I hope your protective order is for real reasons bc it sounds like you 2 love the drama, the spying, the using your son as a pawn
Guess Iām just gonna sound like a trash parent but uh, wine night? Damn me and the girls have tossed 2 bottles back while my kids were asleep. Along with their dad sometimes drinking with the guys outside or in bed for work the next day. I would roll my eyes hard if my ex went after me over that. Ive also waited until my kids are asleep and have had Halloween parties and other gathering where adults take shots and play drinking games. My friends do this too so maybe I just donāt know the situation to speak upon. We need sitters to wait to drink in home now? The kid was sleepingā¦ not okay if they are blowing rails and smoking right next to him at all bit if they were just drinking? Idk like I said I guess this makes me a bad parent because I canāt find sitters to go out so we bring the fun to us
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Iām a mum who has been the subject of abuse by a partner similar with drink,I would ring the police in future to deal with it,my children go to their dads once a week he should be able to refrain from drinking in that small amount of time,my kids have witnessed horrible things through dad drinking in the past do I see where ur coming from ,request dad doesnāt drink whoke children in his care in future or you will get the police to remove them
Listen iv been through this with my ex u will not get into trouble as u where protecting ur kid keep the videos just in case u need them go talk to someone about it maybe arrange supervised contact u where obviously afraid for his safety if u felt the need to go to his home after having a restraining order Iād say thatās brave if u need to talk or need edvice from someone whoās been in that situation just give me an inbox x
Do what u think Iām sure if it was my kid Iād of done the same I would of took my kid two but thatās me donāt ask other people do what u think ur the mum
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Iām fully capable of having a few drinks with friends while Iāve got my kids (full time), why canāt a single dad do the same?
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Itās disgusting how many of you are laughing or blaming her for how she feels. She clearly stated he was partying while her son was sleeping on the couch. No shit itās not illegal for your child to sleep on the couch. Thatās obvious, yāall are missing the entire point. The dad can do what he wants but at least put the child in their room. Would it be be okay for your child to be on the couch while music smoking and drinking is happening. I damn sure wouldnāt! Clearly thereās a lot of irresponsible āmothersā on here. My child will not be around weed smoke, cigarettes, or liquor. IDGAF what any of yāall have to say about it either. Yāall are truly disgusting. Donāt @ me either. This mom has a right to feel how she feels. PERIOD.
Alert your attorney. If possible get copies of the pictures/post. If you are concerned enough to jeopardize a courtg order of protection then call the police. Explain your concerns for your child. Ask them to check on your child. You can also call DCS or CPS to ask for an investigation. No one wants your child endangered!
How old is the kid? I grew up in this environment and a kiddie fiddler to and it makes me a better mom yes I drink a glass of wine when my kids are up am I a bad mom? What I learned from growing up itās ok to have a drink just donāt get so wasted you treat kids like crap.and if the kid is a preteen or teen I think she said a boy well my kids would eat 24-7 if I would let them watch them court orders bc now heās got something on your head and I doubt if he was using heavy drugs he wouldnāt be stupid to call the law bc you went there common sense or so I would hope
Collect the video evidence if you want to make any traction in court
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So youāre mad an adult was drinking when the child was sleepingā¦and most kids say their hungry even if they just ateā¦
Do you not drink a wine while the kid sleepsā¦
He donāt deserve to have visits with your son ! If he canāt wait to party n donāt feed him wtf.
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Did you see the videos or just going off what you were told?
Itās unbelievable people find this funny and people there are having a drink and having a drink
Best to call the police and send them the video
Get ahold of the video and take it to court.
Call police to go with u to get him
Yet ANOTHER DRAMA RIDDEN BABY MAMA Thank GOD my son donāt gotta deal with this
That fools a bitch if he calling cops.
Call the police yourself to do a welfare check
Do you have the videos?
File charges against him