QUESTION:
“I have my kids Full Time. There is no court order for support, only a voluntary agreement for a set amount weekly. He’s talking them on vacation for seven days and is trying not to pay me support for that week. I have ongoing expenses; he’s on “vacation.” Staying at his Mothers beach house for the week. No, I didn’t think about this when I agreed to voluntary support because I never even thought he’d take them for a while week, to be honest. I’m shocked, actually. Usually, it’s just overnight on the weekend, or once a week. Do you think it’s fair for him not to pay for that week? He’s already paying less than he would if it was court-ordered because he manipulated me into feeling bad for him because “he has to pay rent and live too.”
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“I have full custody of my daughter and her dad has visitation every other weekend and he pays a decent amount in child support. With that being said there are times that he will keep her a full week and I ALWAYS give him a chunk of his child support back when he does. He has never asked for it but I look at it as he had the extra expenses that week not me. Plus he always spends it directly on her taking her to do fun things or buys her new clothes…”
“Court ordered support does not stop just because the non custodial parent takes the children on vacation. Why should this be any different. It might benefit the children to get a court order just in case his situation changes and he finds it an inconvenience to pay. Make sure to address college expenses, etc.”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t. He’s taking them on vacation for that week and will have the expense of feeding them, doing fun stuff with them, buying souvenirs etc.”
“Yes he should still pay. Child support is to cover expenses for the children’s needs. That includes your rent, mortgage, electricity, gas, water. Just because they are gone one week does not mean those bills do not need paid. You need to think about you and the kids and go to court. Get a court order.”
“I’m thinking he shouldn’t have to pay while he has them, YOUR expenses are not HIS responsibility, the kid’ expenses are HIS and YOUR responsibility, maybe you should give him money while he has the kids for the week, that seems fair.”
“Unless it’s court ordered, I would let it go. I am sure it’s frustrating, but it isn’t mandatory. I am sorry.”
“You should file for child support through the court system. The child’s expenses don’t stop because they are on vacation.”
“You have no court order? Court orders aren’t just enforcement, they are also for situations were the parents may not agree. If there isn’t one he doesn’t have to pay any support including the weeks he has your child. My advice, get one in place so there is no further question of support.”
“I’m really torn with this one. If he’s been paying every week and good about it, I’d probably let him slide, depending on if I had the money for bills and what not. Should he technically be paying you? Yes. But maybe he’s trying to use that to make sure your kids have a fun time on vacation.”
“You definitely need to put child support through the courts. No misunderstanding that way. If you feel it needs to changed take it back to the courts. If the relationship with the father is difficult less need for contact that way.”
“if you are not currently happy with your child support agreement, then contact an attorney or the child support division in your state and have it set up through the court on the amount of child support he is to pay monthly, in our state it can be paid monthly, every 2 weeks, bi-weekly or weekly. while it will not help you now, it will have a future amount to be paid by him.”
“Technically he should still pay however if you want to let it slide so your kid(s) have a little extra spending money then there is no harm in that either. My son is with his dad for the summer and I told his dad he didn’t have to pay me while he’s there so my son has that money while he’s there.”
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