Hi! I’m 17 years old, and I have an almost two-year-old son. His father and I recently got back together when things turned very bad. He would hit me and call me names, but then it turned into him calling our son names and telling him to shut up every time he cried. After a while, he would push him and be very aggressive with him. I ended up leaving. I filed for child support, which led to being blocked on everything and a long message saying I was a bad mom and pretty much how much of a pos I was for doing it. He has court-ordered visits every other Saturday from 11-6, I had to download a text now app to message and ask if he wanted to get him, he didn’t respond to me, but I made sure I sent it another time, and he didn’t answer. He did this the last Saturday he was supposed to get him too. I am done trying, and I am at loss of what to do, should I stop all contact or keep trying to get him to see his son?
Let him message u do NOT chase him. Hes obviously no good for you or your son.
What a loser he is. He is wasting this experience. If he really is like U say U r far better off without him! And so is your kid!
Document every time he refuses to in case you end up back in court but I wouldn’t force it.
Nothing I’m sure you 2 are better off.
Let it go babe. You and your kid are better off.
I would not push it if he’s treated your Son bad in the past.
If he is abusive to your son when you are around are you sure you really want him to be alone with him? If he doesn’t want to see him why push it sounds like your son would be much better for it
Go after him for child support and full custody
Keep all proof of you contacting him. Just dont push it. If he goes to court and says stupid stuff then you have all the texts but the ball is in his court and if he doesnt want to play then let it go.
Why would you want him to be in your son’s life if he was being aggressive toward him?
Protect your child and let it be
Don’t force him. Don’t make someone be a parent when they don’t want to be. That’s how children get hurt
You can’t force someone to be a parent. 
it’s really sad, but you and your son will be better off in the long run. You shouldn’t have to beg someone to be a part of their child’s life.
Keep all records of your messages to him and if he responds in any negative way. Then go back to court and try to get visitation taken away from him. Your son don’t need to be around someone like that!
Dont chase him you cannot make someone be a parent and honestly I wouldnt want my baby going with someone who has been aggressive with them that’s how babys get hurt. So I wouldnt bother contact.
If he’s abusive to your son why would you allow him to see him unsupervised
He’s lucky he even gets that amount of visitations if it was me he never see his son again for pushing him and being abusive can’t force someone to be a father nor should you in this case walkway let that man get help and prove himself that he can change his behaviour before he can be a father
You can’t and shouldn’t force a man to be in his child’s life. My son’s father doesn’t see him and it’s better that way. Especially if your son’s father is abusive. It’s not your responsibility to establish or foster their relationship. No contact is the way to go.
Depends is he still toxic… I think leave him alone assume he wants nothing to do with you or your precious boy… it’s his loss love I promise you stop thinking of the dad get him out of both ur lives n u will both be happy
Stop trying. He is abusive in front of you, he’ll be abusive to him when he’s alone with him. I would NEVER let him see him.
It’s up to him to get his son. If he isnt making an effort to contact you for arrangements…I wouldn’t bother. But keep all records of communication. If this becomes a reoccurring thing, bring it back to court. Also…i know how shitty it feels to be court ordered to hand your baby over to a living nightmare of a human being. If he’s not making the effort, the stronger your case.
Why would you want him around you kid?
Stop contacting him but save the evidence of your previous attempts. Save you and your baby from this toxicity before he gets older. Make sure you get/have full custody and get that child support 
You don’t want your baby growing up with the trauma and abuse because guys like that never change. You left for a reason in the first place love.
How did he get visitation if he’s abusive towards your son? I’d be taking him back to court to get full custody.
And honestly, if he isn’t taking the child… than the better off with you.
If he is violent towards your son, I think the best thing to do is not allow him to go over! He may take out his anger for you on him.
You tried. So he can’t come back and say you didn’t. I would quit asking, especially if that’s how he treats him. And keep every text and message between the two of y’all.
Sadly you cannot make a father visit a child. And if he is abusive, why would you want him to?
Tbh its not your job to make sure he has a relationship with his kid. You’ve done enough to keep your end of things as far as the court order goes. You reached out, he ignored you. He knows how to contact you if he wants to have those visits. If I were you I’d stop reaching out and keep a record of every visit he’s missed to show the judge when you inevitably end up back in court over visits/child support again. And he doesnt sound like the best father or person in general so I dunno why you’d want that influence on your son but goodluck to you
He can be held in contempt of court
You can’t force a relationship. If he’s not going to do it on his own or court ordered then maybe it’s for the best. Since it’s court ordered and he’s non compliant they will deal with it and you should document it as well in case down the road he wants to change or end parental rights.
Document everything then take him to court for full custody. Don’t force someone to be in your child’s life if they dont want to be. Your son’s better off without that hostility anyways.
Keep trying to show you are not keeping your son from him. I’m going through custody issues with my ex husband who says that my new guy isnt safe for the kids to he around he went for emergency custody and ended up getting physical but not legal custody temporarily. The most I can do at this point is show that I want my kids
If it’s not Court order . you did your part let it go
Youre going about this the wrong way… You do not want him to see your son!! It is a good thing he is not trying to see him. Do not push for it. If he’s dangerous keep your son away from him. And get a restraining order.
Sounds like he needs to go to anger management classes. I personally would be afraid to let him have your son alone for fear of him harming him at this point.
Don’t try to get an abuser to be a parent. Don’t let an abuser near your child. Stop trying and protect your baby at all costs.
Why would you want him in your son’s life?
Go to court and get full custody cuz he doesnt need a abuser in his like
I would not force it he missing out not u and the bby
He knows what time. Write everything down. I wouldn’t worry about it. It is his loss
I would not let him visit with your son
Keep contacting him. Send the messages. It shows you are putting in effort and he is ignoring it.also shows he can’t come back at you and say you are keeping the child from him.
Why would you want him anywhere near your son … I would be so thankful he doesn’t want contact … he’s a violent jackass
I would stop all contact tbh. When me and my oldest sons dad separated he would go weeks without contacted him. I was the one stuck to answer questions like why hasn’t my dad called me why can’t I see my dad where is my dad at I miss my dad and I could not answer his questions. I finally told him you either call and see him more often or not at all because it’s not fair for him to.have a half ass parent in his life.
So he was abusive to your son and to you but you still want your son to go with him…are you crazy?? Let it go for your safety and your son!! I certainly would not take the chance he might harm him…
Why would you want him to see him knowing that’s he’s already capable of abuse? Sounds to me like you just want him to acknowledge you, not your son. No way in hell would I let my two year old go away with someone like him. Put your son first and then learn how to love yourself so you can move on.
Whether or not she WANTS visits is irrelevant. If the court said he gets them- he gets them. I would send one message about 24hrs before pick up time. Simple- Will you be picking up … ? If he doesn’t respond- so be it. I would continue to do this. I wouldnt take it back to court… wait and let him. You have it documented that you tried. If you take it to court- you waste money and probably motivate him to be around more to put on a show… 1 text a week and leave it be.
Hun if he is abusive cut your losses. If he doesnt pay child support call child support enforcement but don’t force visits if you know he is shoving a toddler. Document when he doesnt see him, and refile for full custody with no visitation after a little while. Protect your baby.
This is a very difficult situation all you can do is make sure to keep asking him every time he is supposed to have his visitation. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t answer back. Get another court date for all of it and show proof of you trying to contact him to get him to see his son. Keep your head up. You’re a strong women and a great mom.
All you can do is just leave the door open for him and hope he wakes up and be there for his child
He abused your son. Why on earth would you TRY to force contact?
Why on earth would you want your son to go with someone that could severely hurt or kill him?? Common sense should tell you to stop all contact and be grateful that the trash took itself out,
That’s not the kind of man you want your son around. Don’t push their relationship. Don’t prevent it either thou. Make sure the courts know you want him to have supervised visits for your son’s safety.
Girl if he abusive then he has no business around your son …
Just stop. Hes not good for either one of you. You’re 17. I had my first when I was your age and trust me, I wish I had left my kids dad alone to roam a long time before I left
He doesn’t sound like he needs to be around him.
You need to get away before he hurts you and you lose your child
I’m shocked he even got any access after telling his son shut up and been aggressive with him I’m sorry ur going through that I wouldn’t even allow him have any visits I would block him from all.sources and move on with ur life ur child deserves better don’t ever settle.for anything less put u and that baby boy first and maybe in future when his father old enough to get maturity level and help he needs he will be better man and father but rn I think ur better off focusing on u and ur child
Keep a journal and toke a photo of all correspondence attempts good luck:vulcan_salute:
Stop it my sons dad is the same way both of my kids dads are this way he can’t take time for a 2 hour vist for my youngest son and my oldest sons dad just gives him false hope and them me and my bf now are there to pic up the pices of his broken heart we have court in Feb and God now I’m going to speak my mind im done with my little boy getting his heart broken by some one who don’t care i don’t want his money so im going to see if they will take there rights on the long run it will be better for ur baby to give up on the pos
Put your child first. If he is abusive you need to protect the baby 1st. Take evidence to court.
Why would you try to contact someone who doesn’t care but also showed abusive behavior to your child? Leave it alone , focus on your child and giving them a better life
If he’s violent physically and emotionally I would try to have supervised visitation. But I wouldn’t force him either bc if he doesn’t change it’s better for son. As for child support he absolutely has responsibility to him. You didn’t make him on your own you shouldn’t have to raise him alone.
You should be jumping for joy this guy doesn’t want to see him! Keep sending the messages so you have the proof for court to show he doesn’t show up and eventually file for sole custody with no visitation.
Stop pushing him to spend time with your son if he’s abusive to your child.
You sure if you want your son to meet and see this abussive man regurally. Be thankful he is not there. You know how many toddlers got hurt in the hand of crazy parenting?
Please don’t pushed the issue…If he pushed the little one in front of you. What do you think will happened without you. Thank God he doesn’t anything do with him
Don’t initiate contact and just keep raising your son. Unless your ex makes a big change, your son doesn’t need that mess in his life. Be glad the trash to itself out and just keep going.
Babies having babies…
You don’t stop it but you don’t encourage it either. Each time he’s due to come, be home to handover. If he doesn’t arrive within 10 minutes of specified time, go about your day as per usual. Do not tell your son you’re waiting for dad because he’ll be constantly disappointed, but if his dad rocks up, you say guess what, you’re going to have fun with dad today and make it a happy thing for him. Get a diary and document EVERYTHING… that way you can never be blamed for stopping him seeing his child… good luck 
I have been in this situation I would really recommend not pushing it…if he’s that way to your son he could do harm so I would stop all contact until he takes you to court
Omg I would just leave it alone I wouldn’t want him alone w my child.
Keep documentation of you asking about him picking him up, etc. Take back to court. Also take any proof that he has been abusive and you’d prefer supervised visits by someone appointed by the court.
If he pushes your son around and aggressive towards him why would you want him there. Also take notes present them at court and then you will lose visits
He was physically and verbally abused by him, why would you want your son to be anywhere near him?
If he’s mean to your baby, WHY would you want him too?
If he’s abusive then you should be thrilled he is stepping out! I wouldn’t trust him alone with my baby at all! Get that child support that you are entitled to and raise your baby and fuck that dude. Like the trash took itself out!
Stop I was in same boat with oldest was 16 when I had him my mama helped me raise him I begged for his dad to spend time with him he wouldn’t so I stopped calling made him call me and seemed to only want our son on holidays or his b day I told him no only because he seemed to only want him on special days because his family was forcing him to I would say stop contact it’d be better for you and your son
If he’s abusive why would you want your child around that
Guys. Court- Ordered.
Keep sending the messages. Meanwhile, get those visits revoked. He seems like the type that’ll say you never let him see your son & the messages will be evidence that you tried. Keep sending them
I dont understand how any judge would allow him visitation but If its court ordered that he is allowed to see his son, then continue to send those messages otherwise you will be in contempt of court also file for change of parenting time schedule and write down all the things going on as far as him not ever picking up on his day, make sure you include all dates…also again mention the physical abuse, verbal abuse that was happening before you seperated.
Wtf is wrong with you!!! If hes abusive to you AND YOUR CHILD get a restraining order, you can still get child support with a restraining order. You meed to grow up. I get you’re a young mom, but fuck him leave him in the past!! Keep your baby safe and far away from him.
Why would you even want your son around someone who has done such awful things to him ? I’d be happy he hasnt bothered to see his son !
Just don’t borer with him anymore. He won’t treat the baby right either. If he pushing him and telling to shut up in front of you just think what he may do when you aren’t there
And he wouldn’t be allowed to after he got violent with him !!!
If he has shown a pattern of lacking anger management, you don’t work to force him to spend time with the child. If he wants to straighten up and be a parent, GREAT!!! If not, keep it moving. Regardless, you don’t bad mouth him to your child EVER. You can be honest “Your father has some struggles that keep him from being here like we all want…”, but you don’t speak ill. This might be a BLESSING of sorts for you… trust in this.
If its court order, keep reaching out. You dont want to be penalized. Quite frankly, if things were that bad, why would he be allowed to see his son, if he is abusive in all ways towards him?? I’d make another motion, and print out all texts, proving hes not exercising his visits. Maybe theyll have to go supervised, or maybe theyll be stripped, or he may even give up all rights. Goodluck.
He’s abusive. Thank God he doesn’t want to see him. Document all the missed visits and pray he never comes around again.
If he’s abusing your child why the hell would you be pushing him to see him???
Is this even a question OMG you cant honestly be this out of the loop. The guy abused your son he doesnt deserve to see him what do you think he is gonna do when he has him? You are asking for a world of hurt and pain just walk away you are both better without him. You need to go back to a different judge and file for full custody no judge in there right mind should have ever allowed this guy visits
Get his rights removed. He is not fit to be a parent. Keep your baby to yourself.
This BOY has beat you so think what he could do to your son when they are alone!
Your child is the most important thing in the world so do not put him in danger by pushing visits with a violent thug
Why are you pushing that child onto his ABUSIVE father? Just leave it alone and be glad you don’t have to worry about coming home one day to find out your ex has killed your child.
Some of the questions posted to this site literally make me shake my head…
He’s been abusive towards both you and your son. Why would you want him to see him at all? It’s not safe for your son. I wouldn’t push it one bit. Unfortunately until he gets help he’s if no use to your son. He’s a detriment. Keep records of everything and do only what you’re court ordered to do. If communication isn’t one of those things then end it. You won’t be in contempt if anything unless you keep the child from him.
If it’s court ordered go back to court. Get full custody and cut visitation. His loss
It’s on him to message you … that’s part of growing up
His father is abusive, you should be relieved he’s not answering. Go back to court and get sole custody.
I’d file for abandonment where his rights will be removed but he has to pay child support 
Why are you contacting this poor excuse of a man. If he treated you and his son so badly then why on earth would you want him anywhere near? He obviously doesn’t give a flying fuck about a court order so why do you give a shit? Keep him away if you value your son and yourself he is dangerous.