I would send him a text or two each week to show you made an effort to allow him his time so he can’t claim you were keeping his son away, and keep those texts as a record for the court. I would even copy them off on occasion and take them to the court to be added to your case in case something happened to your phone and you lost the texts. I’d just make sure he paid me my child support, and if he didn’t I would be going to court. After that, it’s on him if he doesn’t see his kid.
1 Like
I’m so confused! You say y’all just got back together, then said you filed CS, and that’s he’s abusive but yet your mad cause he doesn’t want to spent court ordered visits with him?! Wtf why would you even want him around?! I get the fact your young but my god! Raise him yourself! Forget the douche!
You do nothing except for start keeping track of every visitation he misses and keto track if every text msg or email. No longer have phone conversations with him. Sho everything through text or email so u have proof of everything being said in case u go to court later on
Why would you want him to visit? If he’s not, don’t force it. He’ll be pushing him around while you’re not there!
1 Like
Someone who has no patience and a violent history should not be allowed to see your child. Child support or not. Your number one priority is to protect your child.
Keep the messages keep asking him if he wants to see his son and go back to the court show your messages ask for full custody without visitation rights keep him away
File to terminate his rights or go back to court show them the proof file for full custody with no visitations and you should still be able to recieve child support from him unless he gives up his rights
He has court ordered visits. Can he out reach to you? Lock all of the messages you have sent him. Send him one next week, tell him he needs to outreach to you from now in. You will not chase him down to visit his son. Then be done with it. He needs to own this, not you.
I am the 17 year old that asked this question, the only reason I keep texting about visits is because they are court ordered and they have to be supervised. I don’t want to not send messages and that be the day he takes me back to court . I have tried to get full custody and they will not give it to me . I have tried everything .
1 Like
Don’t beg ANYONE to be in your child’s life! If he’s passing up his visits (and believe me, you don’t need to remind him, he knows, he just doesn’t care.) then he doesn’t WANT to be in the child’s life. Let him go.
Here’s what I would do in your shoes especially after what I have seen and been threw as an adult and a child myself… I understand that with court order involved it looks good on you for trying to reach out and by his no response and refusal to see his son on top of him being abusive towards you and your baby use that to file for full custody leaving him with no rights what so ever maybe even a restraining order as well and when that’s settled don’t look back forget about him you and your son are both young… you will one day meet a man that will love you and your son like my step dad (best dad) does me and siblings… if he’s been aggressive towards your son in front of you just think of how much worse it could be without you there it your job as his mother to protect him… he’s still young enough to be severely injured if he’s shook like what my cousin’s baby daddy did to their daughter that’s only 3mo her first Christmas she spent in the hospital for shaking baby syndrome fyi severely damaged her brain and with how young she is right now we don’t know how it’s going to impact her future right now Dr are worried she’s blinde and will be mentally disabled forever but as of right now all the Dr knows is this is by fare the worst case cooks children hospital has ever seen she lucky to be alive…
1 Like
Keep it moving! Let it go! Can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do! If he is abusive as you say he is why would you want to be in contact with him? Keep a record of all the visits he missed and after a year you can request his visitation be terminated and apply for full custody.
1 Like
You should realize if he becomes aggressive with your son. You will not be there to protect him. I was with a man like this. He through my kid across a room. Don’t let him have him until you know whatever makes him violent is done.
Keep asking him since it is court ordered and the next time y’all go to court show the messages that you sent on his days and that he didn’t answer
1 Like
Every one is being very rude here. Keep in mind this girl is 17, and I’m assuming she thinks that she has to try to get him to see their son or she’ll be going against the court order. If that’s the case, please know that you are in no way obligated to try to get him to see his son. That’s on him. If he’s not trying to see him, don’t keep asking him too. Be thankful that he doesn’t care to see his son, because it sounds like you are both better off without him. That being said, document any interactions you have with him. Keep records of the visits he misses. Keep records of EVERYTHING, and take him back to court for full custody. Getting his rights taken away is the best thing you could do for your child, and if you have not already brought up his abuse in court, please do so. They will not give unsupervised visits to someone who was abusive to both you and your son.
1 Like
Been in your shoes- I took the high road and walked away. My son is now 18. My ex fathered 2 more children, got married, cheated and left that relationship and abandoned those 2 children as well… just leave it… move on with your life. It’s not worth your time and your child deserves better.
1 Like
Get sole custody! If his father is not responding to your texts go back to court. He could have his visitation revoked but would still have to pay support thru the court system. That creates a paper trail and you have no contact with him. Good luck
2 Likes
So you left this POS because he was verbally and physically abusive to both of you and now you keep pushing your son on him. You don’t need a child to give to an abusive parent, in fact, give him to either a grandparent or relative who can provide an emotional and healthy atmosphere. You both suck.
Don’t even bother to contact him. Keep records of Everytime he calls or sees his son and how long.
Personally i wouldn’t want him around my child BUT it’s not about if she wants him to see him or not because there’s a court order in place. I would message every week when he’s supposed to have him (so you have evidence you have tried to make contact with him to see your son) and contact the courts to get the visits removed. Personally I’m shocked he managed to get visits to start with which aren’t in a contact centre.
I stopped reading halfway through…stay away from him! I’m telling you it wont get better! Think of ur baby!
If he is such a pos why push your son to be with him? I’d be happy to keep him away!
1 Like
Go to court so they have note of him not doing his visits they will intercede. If he keeps on not doing visits they will put him under abandonment on the case. Anyway if he is abusive I wouldn’t want him to have anything to do with the child and courts should also be notified on that as well.
Omg if he’s abusive why would you want him around your kid? You need to protect your son and get sole custody
3 Likes
Stop letting your baby around that monster. Fuck him. He will continue to act this way to yourself and your child.
He’s abusive, stay away from him
1 Like
You will be a lot happier in the long run, if you stop all contact. He knows how to get in touch with you, if he wants to see his child he will. If not his loss.
1 Like
Keep asking dont ever let it be because you didnt try! If he dosent respond or gets mad, you still tried and now you have documentation.
1 Like
Stop forcing your child to be around an abusive person
Seriously
4 Likes
Because of your court order make the contact but don’t force anything. If he doesn’t want to see him that’s his loss. From the situation you describe it may be better that way anyway. Just don’t put yourself in the situation of breaking the order
2 Likes
I would not pursue him being around your son, especially if what you say about him being abusive is true?!
4 Likes
If he is abusive, keep him away!
2 Likes
Stop contacting him. If he treats your son like shit then I would not want him with him anyways 
Stop contacting his father. Wouldn’t want my child left alone with someone treating him that way and definitely wouldn’t try to force him to have something to do with my child.
4 Likes
Let him be a dead beat dad. Why would you want someone around your son that hurts him anyways??
1 Like
You need to remove visitation wtf.
1 Like
This is a sad thing. But, you can’t make him,want to be dad in this child’s life. On the other hand, if he pushed my child an calling him names. I wouldn’t want to send my son off with him to start with. I would forget abt him sorry ass.
U just need to stop contact ur putting him at risk as well as yourself sweetie u can raise ur son without him unless u want ur son to grow up being abused all his life I’m sorry but u know the answer in ur heart
2 Likes
Why do you want him to see your son? Why submit your son to possible abuse? Be glad he’s a deadbeat, make sure you show for the child support hearing. Stop texting him. He has to contact YOU for the child as he’s in your care. Also file for sole custody so if he takes your son he has to return him. Do not contact this man again. Look for a therapist.
1 Like
It isn’t worth it to leave your son with his nasty ass self. He will abuse your son in many ways… based on his behaviour thus far. I would strongly suggest that you document everything and then go back to court to stop all visitation.
My ex husband had supervised visitation every other weekend with our daughter per court order. That was when she was 3, she is now 14 and he has NEVER attempted to see here. I begged and pleaded him to be in her life. I grew up without a father so I knew the hurt it would cause her. At the end of the day, you cannot make anyone do something they don’t want to. One day your sons father will regret it. Continue being a mother to him. Don’t talk bad about his father even though I’m sure you have a lot of angry feelings about him. I let my daughter make up her mind, I let her learn on her own without me disrespecting her father (I’m not saying you are doing that) he eventually realized he wasn’t coming around. Love your baby hard! Raise him to be an amazing young man. While children need both parents, they can also thrive amazingly with a single parent. Good luck momma. 
2 Likes
You’re still friends on Facebook, so he hasnt blocked you there… Have you tried sending him message there? Post on his wall as well as sending him message about visitation.
1 Like
If its court ordered I would send a message every Saturday at 10am.and ask of hes taking his son for 11… just so he cant use the excuse she didnt message me(I’ve seen it used it court) and of he misses so many in a row then go.back to court an have his rights terminated
2 Likes
Why would you want an ex who abused your son to take him ? He was abusive in front of you. Do you think he is magically going to be caring? Protective?
3 Likes
Stop contacting him. You said ge was aggressive with your son. This shouldn’t even be a question.
3 Likes
No way in hell you should let him be alone with that precious child the abuse will have life time damages if the child survives the wrath
1 Like
It is HIS visitations. He is the one that needs to contact YOU. If he was concerned with seeing his child he would make the effort. Document EVERYTHING!!! Make sure you keep records of you trying to text him but the way i see it is its his responsibility to contact you on pick up locations. Its literally 7 hours a day, twice a month. Go back to court and petition the court order its literally that easy. And also if he is dodging you and not answering on the designated days HE is in contempt of the court order and will be in trouble. Im confused why you havent contacted the court house already? Its one phone call or one visit in there.
3 Likes
You shouldn’t want him around your son if he’s that big of a bitch to call the 2yo names and yell at him 🤷
Go back and get full custody. He sounds too immature to be a father.
4 Likes
Cut your losses. Don’t remind him and don’t beg him. Be thankfulnhe doesn’t want to be in the kids life if he is a pos.
2 Likes
Why would you want him in your son’s life? He could abuse him more.You can’t change someone or make them be a parent.
2 Likes
I wouldn’t even bother texting him. If he wants his son he could come to you. 
1 Like
I wouldn’t force it but keep track of the time he is not seeing him. Child support takes that into account.
1 Like
If he was abusive why would you want your son around that why risk your son
5 Likes
Of he’s going to. Ignore u then just carry on messaging then it is on him but only message the Once on the days he is ment to see him or the day b4 xx
1 Like
Keep walking with your head high and give that baby what you can. Single people do it everyday. I do it every day. Always hard at 1st but never depend on anyone but yourself to be there for this child and life will be easier. (Not even grandparents!)
1 Like
Definitely cut all contact … aren’t you scared of what he will do to child when you aren’t around ?
2 Likes
Walk away the baby needs someone who will love him
2 Likes
If he is getting physical And aggressive with your son there is no way in hell I would allow unsupervised visits. I’d go to court ASAP and get full physical custody.
2 Likes
Um, if he treats him like you say he does, why the hell would you even let him take him??? If I were you, I would fight for absolutely no contact if he is as bad as you say he is.
1 Like
Heck no. If he is aggressive and don’t want him then keep that baby away from him.
2 Likes
If he don’t answer after 2 trys thn Dnt bother…I’m sure he knows the plan so just note all down whn Dnt show up and that sure tells u smthing right?SM just Dnt care!
2 Likes
Document everything that you contacted him about seeing his son and then they will see hes not answering or showing up. As long as you show proof then they know your not keeping him away from his son and hes one doing it.
3 Likes
Never contact the man… If he wants to see his son… I’d get it court ordered supervised as well as getting court ordered child support…
3 Likes
If it’s supervised and you and the court ordered supervisor are sitting around and he’s not showing up, go back to court. Get it cancelled. Don’t try to force him to be around.
2 Likes
I would send him a txt saying his visits will be at a certain place at his time and days so tht way u don’t get in trouble with the law video u being at that place the whole time. So he can’t say he was there but u wasn’t. I had the same thing happen and I did it that way and it helped when he tried to custody of my daughter and the judge laughed at him when they saw the proof.
2 Likes
You keep saying you have to contact him? No you most certainly do not have too. He cant use a court order against you unless YOU are the one breaking it, as in he wants to see him and you say no…also go have that order changed asap, he is abusive to your son.
4 Likes
You’re under no obligation to contact him. If his scheduled visitation is not important enough to him, it’s not your job to hound him. If it is important enough to him, he will contact you. As someone who’s fled an abusive relationship, I PROMISE you, your baby is better off without the violence and toxicity around him. I would let this be, report the abuse and do whatever you possibly can to protect your little one.
3 Likes
Ok first off why would you ask him if he wanted to get him if he has been physically and verbally abusive with him? I would not want my child anywhere near him if the was like that. You need to put your child and his safety first and do not let him around his father, or one day he could end up in the hospital or worse dead. File for full custody ASAP, and if the court wants to give him visitation ask that they be supervised. Let them also know how he treats your son if it helps.
7 Likes
If he’s not contacting you don’t contract him anymore! You tried, you’re blocked… you have no way of getting ahold of him 
&later if wants contact tell him to take you back to court. That’s what I did. He never took me back to court over it & eventually signed his rights away.
3 Likes
Take it back to court show evidence
Girl it’s not ur responsibility to keep up with him. If he wants to be a part he would. And honestly he probably would mistreat him anyway from the sounds of it. I would move on with my life and give my child the best u can. My daughter is 2 months old her father hasnt come around and he walked up to me today at the store wanting to call me then 10 mins later he denied he was hers to his 16 year old daughter that was with him. Of course I put him in his place but we will continue on with our life as we were we dont need him
3 Likes
Why would you want that to have contact with your precious child?
1 Like
Just mark the Saturdays he doesn’t show up!. Don’t remind him or call just stay home until 12 or 1 PM then go on as you would any other day. Some males just aren’t Daddy’s. Your son won’t care. Saturday is just another day for him. My son’s Dad was the same.
You stated he was abusive to not only you but your son as well…why worry if he sees him? Do you really want to be the next news headline about how your child was shaken or beaten to death?
3 Likes
just how can you be blocked after filing for child support??? Oh from your ex?? Who cares, nor should you, The courts will do everything they need to make sure you get something for your child. DON"T worry about the ex.
1 Like
Hell no don’t bother you tried he didn’t answer you next time you go to court he will have to answer to the judge why he’s not doing his visit
2 Likes
I would continue making the effort to contact him and just keep all of it showing you have done your part. Even if he dont respond doing and keeping it will help you get sole custody later.
If he was a POS to your child IN FRONT OF YOU what makes you think he wouldn’t be worse to your child when your not there??? Or take his anger out on your child. Please don’t be naive in this situation. If he’s not making an effort that’s clear as day his intentions aren’t good. Save whatever messages you already sent him and show them to the courts.
3 Likes
If he does that to your child in front of you then what do you think hes gonna do to the kid when your not around? I wouldnt contact him. Ever. If he wants to see ur son he will, he can go fight it in court. Dont put up with that crap. I was 17 when I had kids and the dad turned out abusive. Dont ever look back, keep moving on
2 Likes
Leave it for him to contact you, and go from there x
1 Like
It is not your responsibility to make your childs father be in your childs life. I wouldn’t want him around my kid anyway. Just live your life and forget about him.
It’s not your job to babysit him & remind him of visits. Or wait to see if he shows up. If he doesn’t show up or is more than 15 minutes late he forfeited his visit. File for sole custody so you don’t need to contact him for decisions. He’s not going to respond to you anyway. That can be dangerous in a medical situation to need his permission. Second ask the judge to change visits to your disgression. He can contact you for visits or file to change in court. Then & I know ppl are going to get mad about this, cut off contact. Stop calling or texting him. Change your number if you feel you need to. It’s better for your child to have no contact than to have inconsistency & be abused.
1 Like
Can everyone commenting stop for half a second with their judgment and recognize that these visits are court ordered?
All yall are doing is making her more upset. She has an obligation to attempt to let the father see his child because if not, he can take her back and he can get full custody if she doesnt have proof of trying.
So, my advice is, to text once each time once before and that’s all you can do. It is in your benefit if he doesn’t show!!
2 Likes
Do not push this man to see this child! Take your child support bc it’ll be helpful and leave him alone! Don’t text or communicate anymore. You do not want to push an abusive man to spend time with your child. Collect support. Leave him the hell alone before something horrible happens.
Yes stop! He is a child who obviously immature and aggressive. You shouldn’t subject your child to someone who might hurt him and you shouldn’t subject yourself to the behavior either. You’re extremely young but I hope you have enough sense to stay away from the boy.
Good luck.
1 Like
You will make your son a headline. He could take him out of spite and kill him because of his hatred for you…if he was a abusive then you should have no problem getting full custody.
Cut your losses. Collect child support and move forward without him. It sounds to me that you and your son are better off without him. You both have your whole lives ahead. Dont get stuck fighting a battle that will only drag you down. Use that energy to build your own success and dont worry about someone who doesn’t worry about you.
2 Likes
It’s not on you to make him visit. If he has court ordered visits, it’s up to him to message and ask about them. But just in case, make sure you keep the messages saying you tried, and maybe keep trying for a few visits. That way if he tries to take you to court saying you didn’t show up for his visits, you can prove him wrong.
Stop all contact period. Please believe it when he has shown you the trash he is. You and your child’s life and safety are at stake.
He was aggressive with your child! No you don’t need to try again.
As it’s a court order you need to keep proof that it is his choice not to come…as your son was waiting and consistently being let down you stopped trying to contact him…
1 Like
Seriously stop now !!!
Let him keep missing his scheduled visits … File abandonment and be glad that he is out of your child’s life. You don’t know what he’ll do to him if he’s that abusive in front of you.
Babe…its not ur job to try and make him be a father. If theres a court order, and he isnt following it, just keep record of EVERYTHING. It’s great that u messaged him, and I’m so sorry hes doing this. Be so proud of yourself for getting away from him and keeping you and your baby safe. I applaud you girl. Text maybe ONCE the day of, asking what time he is picking him up. Do NOT tell your son…at all…that he might see dad. Just dont talk about it at all. If father doesnt reply, that’s his issue and there is now evidence that u are trying and he is not.
Make sure you get your child support. Its important. And do not feel bad about anything. You did an amazing thing and ur keeping ur boy safe. Dont force anything. Dont put the child with an unsafe person.
1 Like
Count it as a blessing hes not seeing your son. The fact has so abusive towards him already is scary. I wouldn’t want that POS anywhere near my baby
Don’t push the issue, document everything, and file for full custody.
If and when he wants visits later, you can go to court again.
Document everything. You need to go to the court and file a violation on your court order with your proof. Due to the past history of violence and his recent treatment of your son, you should push for supervised visits and you should also Petition for Sole Custody and Sole Placement. This way you are the one allowed to make the major decisions since he seems to have no interest.
People choose what they want to do. You can’t force a relationship
If he is physically and verbally abusive to your son, and I was in that position I would be doing everything I can to keep him away from my son. But that’s just me… maybe I’m missing something here? 
1 Like