Sweetheart, count your blessings! He does not sound like the person you want or should have in your son’s life! He not only physica abuses him and his mother(you) ,but mentally abuses you both. Do you want your son to treat his future girlfriend or wife and children that way? Count your blessings!
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You need to make sure you document every visit he misses and after a couple months I would go back to the court and let him know and request to put a stop to the visits until he’s ready to be serious because it’s not healthy on your child because as long as the court orders the visits you have no choice but to comply whenever he decides to or you’re the one who’s in contempt of court
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It’s not your obligation to remind him. And you can’t force him to be a parent. And if the abuse you say happened, I wouldn’t bother him at all. There wouldn’t be any contact.
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Don’t waste your time, you have contact him. You can not make him see the child, move on with your life you may find someone else to love you and the child. Be a better father
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You are doing it right it’s his loss if he don’t want anything to do with your son, because when his son is older and goes to him and asked him why he didn’t want to be in his life, will be a lot harder for him to answer than him being absent in his sons life!! So let him be because his son to keep waiting for him to show and then he don’t only hurts him!! I know this because I also had my son at 16 and went through the same thing you are and my son now 24 went to his dad and asked him the same question and I stood there and didn’t say nothing I let his father answer that question!! Believe me it wasn’t easy for him! But I meet a man who not only loves me but also loves my son and that is who my son calls dad! It will be okay
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I am normally a big fan of parents putting the kid first and trying to both have the best relationships possible BUT he is abusive and if he sees him, you wont be there to see how he is being treated so I would leave it alone at this point.
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It’s not your responsibility to remind him to spend time with his son. The more visits he miss, the worse he looks in court. He’s digging a hole for himself.
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You should not even want this abuse man around your son,what are you thinking?if he is abusive in front of you he is only going to be more abusive behind your back. I am a domestic violence survivor my self and feel blessed I am sitting here telling you this.Abuse should not be taken lightly if he gets away with the little pushes he only is going to get worse,you should consider your self lucky he don’t want to interact with your son.You will meet a nice man some day that will accept your son and help you raise him until then take as good care of him as you can and keep the creep away.
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Absolutely do not expose your child to that kind of abusive behavior!!! CONGRATS on getting the hell out! Awesome move!
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Document every time you do anything- screen shot every message- then go back and prove him not worth it !! I wouldn’t take my child around him anyways- can’t be safe …
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My sister went through something similar years ago I would definitely not contact him about his visits that is his responsibility. However I wold keep a note book of all the dates and times he calls to speak with your son and also keep track of all the visits he makes and doesnt make… Keeping everything written down will be better for you if you have to go back to court. Write down the things he buys for your son that go to your house keep reciepts and everything . it all will help you in the long run. But dont force someone to be a parent if they dont want to pushing your son on him will only hurt your son in the end and if he is abusive being forced to parent he could turm the abuse to physical abuse on your son if he gets annoyed. I know it sucks raising a child on your own but if your sons physical and mental safety are the slightest concern when he is with his dad then don’t put your son in any potentially dangerous situation.
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You can’t force him to be a father, be happy your not in that situation anymore. Just keep all communication open, if he’s not seeing him then take it back to court. He shouldn’t get credit for the days he doesn’t see him.
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Whilst it may irk you and justly so, make sure you leave all avenues open for him to contact your son but I would be highly concerned about him having unsupervised visits if his behaviour has been abusive toward your child. If he chooses to be an absent father that is not your fault and you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.
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You shouldn’t have to beg him to see his son… You have tried… it’s his loss… plus you shouldn’t want your son around someone that toxic… Maybe one day he will grow up and be the father he is supposed to be… until then just focus on being the best mother you can be to your son… He has you and that’s all he needs right now… Atleast with you he knows he’s loved, and wanted… Good luck…
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Are you kidding me? Why would you even want your child around a man that abuses him?
I had the same problem move on get some self esteem take care of you and your son out of that situation. For real it’s only heart breaking and not worth it at all to stick around save yourselves while your son is young to not remember too much.
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As long as you don’t change anything so he can contact you and he doesn’t then they can get him for abandonment. If you change numbers and he can’t get in touch with you then they will get you for not letting him see his child. Just wanted to let you know about that part
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Trust your instinct and no every parent is going to be a responsible caring one.
Did his behavior towards this child and you not come up in court?! I hope like hell these visits are supervised. I sure as hell wouldn’t push your child on someone that is gonna treat him like that. Who knows what could go on during those hours.
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Uh… Let him be absent? Sounds a lot like the boy doesn’t need that kind of figure to look up to. He makes his own choices and your child is happy no matter what. He will question unfortunately but male role models can be grandpa’s, uncle’s, a coach etc.
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I wouldn’t beg him to see his son. You shouldn’t let him see the baby anyway if he’s treating him that way. You can raise the baby by yourself and be happy
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He apparently doesn’t want the child or he would be there to visit.You should probably not pursue the matter any longer. Mother of 4
You have to keep trying so your child know you did everything in your power to keep in contact with him. As your child get older and wants answers you have it he will see you tried then he won’t be upset with you.
I tried to force a relationship between my son and his father. At 8 his father decided he no longer wanted to see him and chose his other kids. My son now 21 years old has so much resentment. He has a brother and sister that he does not know and what is worse is his father has not grown up. He says because he paid child support his other kids had to do without all these years. I did this because I never knew my father or his family. I would never trade my son for the world and we have an amazing relationship but honestly it did more harm than good for my son.
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Due to his abusive behaviors, I personally wouldn’t want him around my child. That’s child endangerment.
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You both need to grow up and try to be civil with one another for the sake of the kid. Let him seek help, if he does, he deserves to at least have partial custody.
Absolutely do not push it. He was obviously abusive. I would contact a lawyer. There comes a point where its abandonment. And while I think both parents should be in a child’s life when a parent harms a child that’s a completely different situation. Protect your child. Maybe someday he will change until then though do what you need to do to make sure that child stays safe and sound but do it though the courts
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Stop trying!! If he’s abusive to you. Your son is at risk!!! You need to stop all contact. It’s on HIM if he wants to be a parent or not
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You need to turn in to support enforcement and the court that set his visits up that he is not showing ing up at all and he will lose his rights but still have to pay
Noooo. Father or not a 2 year old does not to be talked to or treated that way and don’t you ever allow it
Concentrate on you and your baby. Ask him to give up parental rights. If he was yelling at the baby for crying he could harm the child if left alone to long with him / her. To many babies being abused and worse by young fathers and men.
You can’t make him see his son. He has to want to see him. Stop contacting him, he has your number. When his son becomes a priority, he’ll reach out. By then no telling if his son will want to see his father. That is the risk this guy is willing to take so best to do what is best for your son and make a great life for you and him. All the best!
You can’t force him to be a father or your responsibility to enforce the court order. If he doesn’t want contact let it go.
Stay away. The court should have a phone number to call and make sure he has signed in. I would not leave your home until you know he is there. He is young, immature and not ready to be a decent human being. Besides, he may kill you both. Be afraid, be very afraid.
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I agree I would talk to my lawyer and let him handle it. I wouldn’t push him to see your child.
Girl, why would you want a violent, resentful, angry man who has no love for your child to come get him and take him home?! Lord have mercy! Count your blessings he hasn’t yet. I would go into hiding if I had to share custody with a pos like that. Get full custody and never look back. Maybe in time you’ll meet a wonderful man who you can raise your child with.
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Keep trying,keep making excuses for the dad,
If he treats him bad he shouldn’t see him
Let it go you will be better off…
Go back to court and show that you have been contacting him and get no response. It is through court so you can’t just stop the visits without reporting it.
You cant turn a boy into a man. Plus he should be willing to take his son on his own he should not be reminded or forced it should come from within. Let him be his loss…
Well, you’d have to be brainless to continue to try and let him see him. You and your son are better off without him. Easy choice here.
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Dont contact him if he dont wana be around fuck him