My ex left me for another woman after we were together for over nine years. We had three children together. When he left, he left us without a dime, without any help, and didn’t come around for a few months. I needed food assistance until I could figure out how to get back on my feet again, which resulted in me being required to go after him for child support. (During this meeting, I was awarded sole legal and physical custody). He was not happy about this, but he does pay. After a while, I decided it was important rather than for us to agree to a schedule. We should have a court-ordered schedule (in case things between us were really bad, or if we didn’t agree). He was often keeping the kids from me out of anger which resulted in police involvement. The kids began telling me about the abuse they’ve endured as well as the abusive relationship between him and the other woman. CPS was involved. Things got really nasty. He got angry and is now coming after me, saying he wants joint custody though I’ve been granted sole legal and physical custody for three years; I take care of everything and always have - medical, school, clothing, etc. He isn’t arguing that I’m a bad mother or unfit, just that he simply wants the children half-time. We have a court date coming up for the pre-hearing. Can you tell me what to expect, if I need a lawyer, any advice or recommendations? I’m very stressed out since I know his home is not a good environment for the children. I just want to protect them at all costs.
GET A LAWYER, that’s the first thing you should do.
Get a lawyer and start documenting any proof you have that the fathers house is unstable and there is abuse going on in the home. Stay strong mama
Get a lawyer. I have been through this when I was little with my “parents” you should still get custody of them, but just to be on the safe side I would get one. Also I would talk to your kids to let them know what is going on that way if they have to get talked to by the courts or cps or dhs they aren’t scared or confused.
This should be an open & shut case. The kids can speak up. You can prove what kind of parent he is. Don’t lose any sleep over this. Good luck.
Get an attorney first than unless he is an abuser most judges will agree to joint only if they think it’s best interest. Again talk to attorney in your area.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex left me for another woman and now wants half custody: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
I personally would contact a lawyer. They would be able to give you the most info.
I would personally have an attorney. And a damn good one at that
I would lawyer up. You don’t have any idea what his motives is at the moment
Definitely get a lawyer
Yes definitely get a lawyer that specializes in family law
The more time he has, the less he pays in support, that may be what he’s after.
Yes, lawyer for sure
Get a lawyer for sure and remember your children have voices and make sure they are heard for something like this !
If there is any hint of abuse with evidence between them it will most definitely stay with you having full custody.
The ONLY reason he wants split custody is so he DOESNT HAVE TO PAY!!!DO NOT GIVE Him the satisfaction!!
You always need a lawyer. Anything can happen.
Lawyer and keep a journal of everything prior too ( discussions, any time kids speak to him, lack of communication anything as far back as you can. Dated and times if you can )
You have documentation of everything then don’t worry. Get a lawyer.
You 100% need a lawyer
I would get a lawyer and Guardian ad Litem. It’s like an attorney for the kids. They’ll speak to therapists, teachers, cps, tour both homes, and speak to each child individually. They’ll make a decision that can sway the judge.
Definitely lawyer up immediately. The lawyer will need time to go over everything and submit affidavits
Pray, get a lawyer and pray some more. wishing you the very best. Children belong with their Moms when and if possible. Best wishs
A simple yet delicate answer of mine is 
Get a lawyer. Do not Ho to court without council.
Get a lawyer specializing in family law, for sure. Changing custody after it’s been set is generally extremely difficult to do without drastic cause (i.e. you being an unfit mother, which doesn’t sound like is the case).
I would bring up your concerns when you go to court 100% and disagree with whatever he has to say you are their mum and by the sounds of things he’s very unstable/volatile which will have a massive affect on your kids later on in life
How old are your children? Make sure you have documentation of all police involvement as well as cps. Documentation is everything.
Definitely Do Not Walk in that court room without a lawyer!!
1st of all, you were awarded sole custody MEANING HE CAN NOT take the kids and withhold them from you. 2nd no judge in the right mind is going to give him joint custody for no reason. They children are safe and taken care of with you. He’s not claiming abuse or unfit, the judge will read between the lines. They have seen this song and dance a million times. He won’t get away with his plan. After 3 years of you have sole custody and being the decision maker they aren’t just going to play puppet and sign papers.
Speak to a cps worker, they may be able to help you with legal counsel
1st off he won’t win, courts favor mothers, point blank. Second, police and cps was involved with him so it would be supervised visitation. So take a breathe, meditate, relax, and lawyer up hun. Good luck
Definitely get a lawyer.
Get a lawyer and if cps was involved have it investigated with guardian aid lawyer for children
Get all the documentation you can on the cps case, and documents for all the times he withheld them from you, and cops being involved, lawyer up ASAP.
Get a laywer. Let the laywer know of all his charges. Including the abuse and keep that jerk away from those babies
I pray everything goes well with you and may you get full custody of your children.You surely need a lawyer,those kids are better off with you !
They’ll more than likely start off with joint custody first, with you having more say basically. They will not withhold a parent unless there’s just cause. Him being a shitty person isn’t enough. You’ll have to prove HIM unfit, in order to stop any kind of custody sharing.
Get a lawyer before you go to court.
Yes lawyer, make sure you have ALL copies of police reports and have CPS there to testify. Keep your own documentations of any problems with him regarding the children. Unless he gets his shit together he had any uphill battle. Keep on it girl, do what is best for your kids! Good luck!
If you have sole custody, he can not take the kids. You get to make the decisions on their behalf without his consent.
It is also extremely difficult to change custody once it has been established. Please take solace in that.
Do not feel bad for him and try to give him second chances. Your kids deserve safety and stability that he cannot provide.
Please also get a good lawyer to help ease your mind and prepare the documents that will bear defend your case.
You should be able to get legal aid. Keep records and police reports of EVERYTHING
Get a lawyer. Bring every police report, cps report, texts, voicemails ANYTHING you have that will show them he is not fit.
Get a legal aid its so important you keep everything hes said and done for court
Get a lawyer, and document EVERYTHING in chronological order, including- but not limited to: police involvement and the outcome(reports can be obtained), CPS reports/findings, your financial situation, any documentation from counseling for your children that can be submitted in court supporting that the best interests of the children are to be continued in YOUR sole custody. Re-visit the child support issue, get any parenting time set in stone BY THE COURT going forward (if any), and provide documentation that you’ve had to apply for public benefits as a direct result of his actions.
Ok the only flag that tells me he shouldn’t get 50/50 is the dhs involvement. Otherwise I’m all for a parent no matter the other parents struggles to be able to have time with their children. It sucks he left you in that position. You’re going to need a lawyer. Maybe legal aid will help since abuse is involved. You’ll want all the documentation and to take it a step further and put your children into therapy so they can help be their advocate. Maybe even a Guardian ad litem may be needed so the children have a voice in this.
Get a lawyer ASAP! Do NOT go to court without one!! Make sure you get documentation of everything, especially from CPS, police reports and all.
Doesn’t sound like he stands a chance, probably just empty threats? But it would definitely be wise and proactive to lawyer up.
Dont go without a lawyer an don’t give him shit with the known absuive history no judge would award him anyways fix your crown momma no worries
Always have a lawyer.
Definitely need a lawyer
Call family services if you need assistance with costs
Depends on the state. I’d seek a lawyer’s advice.
Get a lawyer but there’s already a record of abuse so fight to protect your children! I have complete custody of my son because there was abuse.
CUSTODY and VISITATION ARE NOT THE SAME.
Lawyer! Supervised visitations. The only thing I would accept given the abuse.
Get a lawyer and a court appointed guardian for your children (you didn’t give ages) this person talks to them and actually listens and gives advice to the judge
I’ve had a lot of history with my children I would think you need to find a lawyer but I will tell you to experience every lawyer I’ve ever had did this they would talk about we were going to do this and this and this then when we get to court the two lawyers talk and they make us agree to what they want so hope you win kids should be with their mama more
Never go to court for anything important without an attorney.
Get a lawyer if cps and police have been involved as well as my children telling me about the abuse. I sure as hell would not be sending my children over.
Get a lawyer. Gather up everything you have from police reports to CPS information. You can get copies of the police reports from the agency that responded to the call. Typically you have to pay per page for the copies.
Get a lawyer. I had a similar situation and my ex was automatically granted every other weekend when I tried pro se. As soon as I got a lawyer, it was over turned and he has had supervised visitation for the last 2 years. Which he doesn’t even exercise.
to be honest getting a lawyer in family court isnt necessary even the court tells you that there isnt a judge in the world who will go off a lawyer they go off whats best for the children. its not criminal court the judge can careless about a lawyer as long as you have your proof your fine the courts just dont take away full custody from a mother he has to prove hes worthy of getting 50/50 he has to prove your not fit to care for them full time. if you said cps was invloved let the judge know this and they can check reports i would save your money! and relax dont stress… if they gave you full custody it was for a reason and chances are hes going to need to complete alot of requirements beofre he can even have the kids
Sounds messy, get a lawyer
If CPS was called, they could testify for you if things were bad in his home
Get yourself a lawyer.
What Kate Starr said and I would also ask for the kids to be able to talk to the judge privately or an in camera interview with your attorney.
First and foremost get a lawyer. Second get any and all police reports from when they were involved. Third get the cps report if possible (your lawyer may have to subpoena that). Lastly document EVERYTHING!! If the children have had any injuries take pictures, if they have talked to any counselors, document or get them into counseling now for the abuse they endured. Only communicate through text and save them all. Leave all emotions aside when presenting your case and deliver nothing but facts. His chances are slim but cover all bases
He wants 50/50 so he doesn’t have to pay child support
No matter what you have to do to be able to get one (sorry I dont know your financial situation) get an attorney. I would not advise to go to court in this situation without one.
Judge will take into consideration what’s happened with CPS. I can’t tell you anything other than that. I got lucky but I’ve seen a few not be. Good luck and I hope it works out for the best.
In my experience, the judge won’t change custody unless there is a good reason/change of circumstance
Get a lawyer! Tubman center will help if you can’t afford it!!
Relax and let him have at it. He has no ground. Request a guardian ad litem for the kids.
Definitely get a lawyer. But with the issues you guys have already had he won’t get joint custody, at most he may be able to get them for weekends, but also depending on the age of the kids if they don’t want to stay with him then the court won’t order them to go with him. Tbh he’d be lucky to get supervised visitations, which sounds like that’s what he should get anyways
Get a lawyer and have that lawyer talk to the kids and tell them what goes on just hearing from you court will think you’re just a bitter ex,also get police reports of when ever they were called to his house.protects your kids,probably the only reason he wants joint custody. Is to keep from paying child support,he seems to be using the kids as a pawn to get at you if he is abusive in any way the kids don’t need to be around him.
Im going through something similar! So sorry girl! Does anyone know how much an attorney for something like this will cost? That’s my issue
Lawyer on your side because it makes it easier on you paperwork wise they know what would need to be filed and if it gets ugly it helps having that support and get a garden ad litem for the kids so there voices are heard
Sounds like he just wants joint custody so he won’t have to pay child support & if there’s abuse and he’s already been breaking the current custody agreement and there’s proof, he won’t get his way
Dont do it. Hes ALREADY abused them and he’ll do it again 1000000%
Definitely get a lawyer. Or stick to the original agreement. No need to put the children in harm’s way. If you do feel strongly that they need that relationship with the father, I believe he could get supervised visitations. But if what you say about abuse whether it’s towards the children or the new other significant other, your children need protection from this.
Request a Minors lawyer for the kids at his expense. There are different names for this depending on the State but they represent the interests of the kids. They will interview both of you and the kids and make recommendations to the court which are nearly always followed by the Judge. If he has an attorney, you need one too. If he’s representing himself then probably not.
Make sure you bring documentation not just here say of what you want presented, all involvement show on paper.
If your kids are complaining about abuse and the abuse between him and whom he’s with…he may not win. If he does win in any manner…I’d request supervised visitation just based off of what your kids have told you about abusive situations in his household.
Get a lawyer.
Lawyer up! If nothing else they can advise you on what’s going to happen and what to expect.
You will need a lawyer! Trust me I went without one and I lost my case and came back with a lawyer and won.
You need a lawyer, if you received any type of social services they may have legal aid available to help you
I tell everyone to always go to court with a lawyer especially when it has to do with your babies! Sadly judges take u more seriously when u have a lawyer and the lawyer will know what’s best to do
Get a lawyer for yourself and a lawyer that can speak for the kids. It can’t be the same lawyer, and if you try to tell their side of the story it sounds like a bitter ex, let the kids have their say in what they want, but there needs to be a separate lawyer to speak on their behalf.
They’re his children too. If you don’t let him see them, I promise they WILL grow up to resent you. Same thing happened to me as a kid. Don’t let your children miss out on their father because you’re bitter.
Wouldnt there have been a reason you.were granted sole to begin.with ?
After all of that I don’t see any judge giving him anything more than visitation if that. If cps was involved for abuse he shouldn’t be around them at all. I wouldn’t even worry about a lawyer. Keep records of everything that has happened and take it with you to court.
A lawyer would help but with all this in his file with CPS and police things are in your favor and he is just trying to get out of paying support.
Get a lawyer immediately!!!
Lawyer up. This man should not have custody (from what you say) and they will be able to help you with that. You def need a lawyer
Take copies of police reports and /or Cps papers with you to court.Have anyone that has seen the abuse write statements about what they witnessed and make sure they sign and date it and take it with you.
Get a lawyer and a gal. (Guardian ad litem) they will talk to the kids an speak for them in court so they feel no pressure from either party. Also it’s not about what you know. it’s about what you can prove in court! any documentation of any and everything you need
Council time for proper help non biased.
Ourt will probably make them have a guardian adlidem
Always have a lawyer