My ex left me for another woman and now wants half custody: Advice?

File a petition to terminate any unsupervised visitation until he gets councilimg, anger management, and parenting classes, and file for it before his hearing so the judge can take account of it, stop messing around, this is your kids

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In this type of situation I would definitely hire a lawyer to make sure you get all your ducks in a row. Especially with the abuse allegations and the toxic relationship he seems to have with his new GF. I wouldn’t go for regular visitation, I would go for supervised visits with a court appointed third party to monitor visitation.

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Depends on the state as well. In Florida it is very hard to change an existing order unless there is a “significant, involuntary change” in circumstances. It’s not easy to prove that. But again, that’s in Florida.

Sounds like he is trying to get out of child support with 50/50 custody. If your story is true he dose not stand a chance. Document everything.

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Yes you need a lawyer! And while you have sole custody you need to take you’re children to a therapist that specializes in child abuse. You need a professional to tell the court what he’s done to your children and how it’s affecting them.

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Always have a lawyer for situations like this no matter what. I doubt courts will give him half custody from the sounds of it.

Always get a lawyer, their job is to protect you and your children in anyway possible.

Yes you should have a lawyer

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Document EVERYTHING. I can not stress how important this is. And have three copies. One for the judge to read, one for him and one for yourself.

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I’d definitely be getting a lawyer. N then also have them get the records of the CPS visits/case

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Get a lawyer, you want all your legal bases covered. These are your kids and you are their best advocate.

Does he really want them half the time, or does he think he’ll get out of child support by having them half the time, at least on paper?

From what you’ve stated, He’s already shown that he is not capable of have having an adult co-parenting relationship with you. Judges rarely want to put the kids in the middle of something like that. Follow your current order, but keep any and all records. Try to communicate through text or email because those can be admissible. If he fights hard, the court may hire a guardian ad litem, a lawyer hired to be a legal advocate for your children. They will talk to your kids about how life is with you, and how life is with your ex. His word carries more weight than any other person or lawyer in the court room.

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A lawyer sounds very necessary in your situation. Especially when you’re saying CPS has been involved for abuse towards your kids. You never know how petty he’ll be to win & if he has a lawyer backing his bs. So make sure you have that backup too.

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Get a lawyer and try to get his rights to the children taken away if he is abusing them as stated in your comment

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Have a lawyer. Have all the records regarding police and CPS involvement.

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You don’t need a lawyer. The burden of proof is on him to change custody. Custody is already established. He is the one that wants to change things, he’s the one who needs a lawyer. All you need is a document preparer. Don’t waste thousands like I did.

Two words. Lawyer up!

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I did alot my self, tell we were about to go to trail. But my daughter is studying to be a lawyer so that helped me a little.
But I eventually lawyered up at the end.
I did supervised visits and got it granted. He didn’t follow threw tell right before settlement a year later. And he only did 2 hours. He tried for 50/50. He lost big time and only got 2 hours a week tell he can prove himself which I don’t ever for see happening. It was a long,hard , expensive fight tell the very end. But its worth it. I got sole custody. My kids are a little older, 11 and 12.

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GET A L A W Y E R!please

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Get yourself a good Attorney that’s a hard core, will fight for you, get a restraining order against him for you, the kid’s, get him for child support

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Get a lawyer and get a good one!

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DOCUMENT EVERYTHING with date and time. Also have evidence to back it up if you could this saves you a lot more stress. Get a journal book and make a Timeline of everything he’s said and done. If it isn’t written or you don’t have evidence. Most likely it’ll look like it never happened. I’ve learnt all of this within 2weeks and I swear it HELPS A LOT if you want to be heard

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Get a lawyer 110% without a doubt.

Get a lawyer!! Or go to legal aide

Went through this definitely get an attorney

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Tell the judge that you want the kids to be question by him/ her .bring up the CPS reports .bring any an all police reports .print every nasty text .let the judge know that he abandoned you and the children without a penny to your name …after you win take him back to support court you want half if all school related expenses ,you want the kids in his health insurance in and half of all co pay .the insurance has to cover dental and eye

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you have to ask if you need a lawyer

I am a big person to allow ones kids be & spend time with their father. But if he is abusive…go to court & maybe have supervisor visitation

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He just wants half custody after all this, just because he doesn’t want to pay child support. If CPS was involved in and on your side, you need to get those documents to show in court!!!

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You need a lawyer since he’s fighting it. He will have one. But just because he goes for joint custody doesn’t mean child support goes away. My husbands ex willingly gave us joint custody and we continued to pay support we just also have say now

Get a lawyer. Request supervised visits at a Center. Make him complete a anger management course. Do all these things and see if he really wants to see them. He will probably just give up.

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I would have the judge agree to supervised visitation but nothing more.

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Get all reports together and a timeline of events and find a lawyer.

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Lawyer up hun. Been there, done that. Also document everything. Save all conversations, police reports, cop records everything

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Get a lawyer and document everything! Record the kids telling you about the abuse and environment at his house. Take pictures of any physical injuries they have when coming home from their house. Screen shot and save all messages between you two. I would also record the phone calls you have with him and any he has with the kids. Demand supervised visits and absolutely NOT to him having joint custody! Child support does not go away even if you share custody, at least in Texas it doesn’t.

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You need a lawyer. Document everything. Get all paperwork together. Including CPS case and reports. Do not give in to split custody. Sounds like this is a money issue for him.

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You can believe this involves money on his part. I would not allow my children that have been put into an abusive relationship on his part to spend half of their time with this loser. Get a lawyer

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Well he’s in a abusive relationship and the kids shouldn’t be around that.

If you have documented abuse I wouldn’t worry about too much beyond showing all of it. Should be an easy decision for a judge

He won’t get squat. Get a lawyer and petition the court to get him to pay for it. That will shut him up fast.

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Get all the documents you have from.Cps ,police etc and get a lawyer, show them.all this at court.

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Great advice above, so I won’t repeat it but add

Documentation made all the difference in my first divorce. I bought a small calendar from the dollar store and wrote everything, in pen, on the dates it happened. Made it reliable documentation.
Record every call

Most importantly do NOT take the emotional bait. Don’t discuss anything with him that is not relevant to a pickup or drop off. Do NOT engage into drama or arguing. Save that for court and when in court leave out opinion, only deal in facts. Get copies of every report you can, at times freedom of information requests are needed. Have back up to every single claim you make in court.

And deal with all negotiations in court, that’s what it’s for.

When you stop contact outside of visitation schedule he will likely try to bait you into arguing, don’t take it. No matter how mean or ridiculous he gets. Ignore any message not directly related to a necessary topic for the kid’s next visit. Don’t deviate from the current court order, not by a minute.

It’s emotionally exhausting so make sure to take care of you.

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You need a lawyer and sadly expect a long battle that i hope ends in your favor just be honest

Get a lawyer and how old are the kids cause they can testify. Get CPS reports cop reports.

He will not get half custody…
Especially with cps involved…
Do you have proof of anything the kids told you…???
Or documents on no support…
Keeping kids away from you…
Get as much proof as you can…
He won’t win…
I would definitely keep kids away…
If you go to court go for supervised visits only…it would only take once hearing he was abusive…

Document everything and get a lawyer.

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You need a lawyer! And bring whatever proof you have. Text messages, voicemails, screenshots, anything.

He’s had cps called on him for abuse… definitely lawyer up just to be safe but you have a strong argument on your case, he’s not gonna get s$!t

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Children are abused in his custody. Children are exposed in his custody. He woul not have to pay child support any more. The struggles with him returning the children would I crease.
Courts said you have custody for a reason. I vote supervised custody if anything. The children are not safe there by your description.

Get a lawyer but it seems to me the kids are with the better parent anyway and the judge will see that. I would set up visitation for him that is court ordered and he can’t argue with. Good luck

Save all texts and police documents and definitely get a lawyer !

You need a lawyer. Because of the abuse allegations and CPS involvement maybe a guardian ad litem as well.

You need to PROVE parental unfitness. Judges don’t enjoy the “power” they once did and are being challenged with US Supreme Court caselaw which supercedes state authority. The State must prove that the minimum requirements of the child are NOT being met before it can do more than temporarily intervene. This means that, even if the Judge believes that it is not in the best interest of the child to have a 50/50 split of possession time, per plenty of U.S. Supreme Court caselaw, the judge MUST subordinate his beliefs on this matter to those of fit parents. Even though divorce is a civil proceeding, it is still a state action taken under state statutory authority by a state official and the resulting orders are enforced by state actions up to and including imprisonment. Regardless of who asks the state to take these actions, all federal constitutional limitations on state actions still apply.

If you cannot prove parental unfitness, and he has an excellent attorney (and I mean excellent because 99% of family law attorneys are BAD and don’t know a thing about substantive and procedural Due Process), he may leave the judge with no other option than to minimize both parents rights by 50% in order to preserve the children’s rights 100%. Children’s rights are concomitant to parental rights. The Court may not punish the child with deprivation of fundamental rights as a result of the sins of either parent. The state may not deprive children of divorce of any of the rights enjoyed by children in an intact marriage. Both parents have a 1st Amendment free speech right to educate their child on their own moral, religious, and civic values both directly through formal teaching and indirectly through observed example. Each child has a concomitant right to learn and benefit equally from each parent. This teaching and learning is achieved both in formal teaching and through the child’s observation of their parent in the intimacies of everyday life. Any reduction in child possession beyond the equal 50/50 split necessitated by parents living separately infringes this right which is protected at strict scrutiny. Where the state makes a best interest determination that one parent will have greater opportunity to educate their child, the state is exercising a prior restraint on speech based on the content of anticipated speech and the value the state places on that speech.

“Constitutional rights do not mature and come in to being magically only when one attains the state defined age of majority. Minors, as well as adults, are protected by the Constitution and possess constitutional rights”. Planned Parenthood of Central Mo v Danforth, 428 U.S. 52, 74 (1974)

“Niether the Fourteenth Amendment nor the Bill of Rights is for adults alone.” In re Gault, 387, U.S. 1, 13 (1967)

“A Due Process violation occurs when a state-required break-up of a natural family is founded solely on a “best interests” analysis that is not supported by the requisite proof of parental unfitness”. Quillion v. Walcott, 434 U.S. 246 (1978)

“The fundamental liberty interest of natural parents in the care custody, and management of their child is protected by the Fourteenth Amendment, and does not evaporate simply because they have not been model parents …” Santosky v. Kramer :: 455 U.S. 745 (1982)

Get a lawyer! Get records of police, CPS involvement. Any police calls for DV or anything. Good luck.

Get a lawyer
Document everything

Yea you should have a good lawyer not just any lawyer but one who win these type cases

I would absolutely get a lawyer.

Definitely get a lawyer. Document everything and I mean everything. Make sure you get the CPS case files on him to prove he is abusive. Good luck :pray:

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Some father’s go back for joint custody to lower child support. But he may be after “his share of the new government covid payments” which if granted he would get half that money. Read more on IRS joint custody. Yeah if Cps Was called and a investigation started don’t sound like he has a chance. I would say a father has a right to see his kids but make it supervised!!! He will give up and leave you alone. Supervised is a pain scheduled and can be reported to the courts!!! Get a lawyer

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Why don’t you already have a lawyer?

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Take pictures of the kids before you send them to him and when you pick them up document everything plus get a good lawyer

If he filed on you depending on your income you could get Attny paid for. But I would get Attny and all your ducks in a row with paperwork etc . I had mine in 3 ring binder each form in plastic covering . I believe he will at least get supervised visits but you need to protect your babies look yo his Attny read up on Attny . Make sure none are involved in kids 4 cash etc.

He don’t want your kids he wants his support lowered . My kids endured so much abuse over child support . I should have let their dad just walk away off the hook . We would have struggled but would have been in peace .

He won’t get it. Judges want kids to have stability and they tend to leave things as they already are.

Get a lawyer. Most judges won’t do joint unless both parents are ok with it. But I would t take a chance with it if I were you.

Definitely, definitely get a lawyer. And make sure you research them, and have consults with several before you settle on one.

Get a lawyer and copy of all records

Get a lawyer! That’s what I did .

You should have had an attorney a long time ago

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Yes to the lawyer. Take any and all evidence of abuse and anything else you think you may need. Also take a copy of the cps report if you have it.

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Never go to a custody battle without a lawyer.

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If they’ve been abused and are witnessing abuse between them then I’d definitely get a lawyer to protect your children.

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Get :clap:a :clap: lawyer​:clap: now!! Don’t talk to the father, unless it’s all through text.

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I recommend getting a lawyer

Lawyer up & get every bit of evidence together u can from bills,letters from cps,etc.

Tell ur lawyer u refuse to give him half custody! Stay strong, b respectful and stand ur ground

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Lawyer, ALWAYS. you may be able to get assistance for one through a legal aide office, or a woman and children advocacy group. Leave no stone unturned until you get one.

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Lawyer up! With a quickness!

U gotta b able to prove that abuse is goin on…

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex left me for another woman and now wants half custody: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Robbie Edmonds what would you advise?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex left me for another woman and now wants half custody: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

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Always have a lawyer with you. Have all paperwork stating he is unfit. Have everything organized. Even keep notes of any incidents, dates time ect.

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You need a lawyer! They have tons of paperwork and deadlines that needs to be filed. If he has a lawyer and you don’t it can turn on you quick. It’s alway better to be over prepared than not prepared in these situations. I would not risk it

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Get a lawyer! If there is documentation of abuse etc from cps you have that on your side. Get that paperwork! Or request cps be present at the hearing. You have the upper hand here. Don’t be nervous! From what you have said at least I don’t see a problem with you keeping them safe with you. If your concerned about their safety with him ask for supervised visits. I am just going on what you have given us. Do what is right for the children.

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You have SOLE custody-case closed. Good luck buddy trying fight that. And there’s violence involved on his end. He will NEVER get it.
I would wait to get an attorney. Which you can request to adjourn the open coming on while it’s going on and ask for representation. And have it continued on another day.

His visitations should be taken away. Or suspended with abuse and CPS involved.

Tell him
See ya in court.
YOU HOLD THE UPPER HAND IN THIS CASE. 100%

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Side note-Every father/mother who does or doesn’t pay support and doesnt spend time w kids in America ALL A OF SUDDEN wants their kid bc of stimulus and the new tax laws. Thats why he wants them. 50%
He’s just mad!!

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He wants joint custody so he does not have to pay child support. I would definitely get a lawyer! The judge will most likely not give him joint custody and depending on how old ur children are they can decide who they want to stay with. I would bring up everything!

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I beleive you should get a lawyer but I don’t think he has a chance in hell anyway he has cps cases to prove abuse you have full custody and you shouldn’t send them at all with out requesting supervised visitation

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U take all documents to court and grab a lawyer if ur in Austin to waco tx area I know some great ones u need to go for what is Similar to a right strip but they still have rights which u almost got with sole custody prayers momma Ive been there

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Seek legal advice! Document EVERYTHING. It sounds to me that he wants joint custody so his child support payments will be lowered.

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There are quite a few factors that go into deciding custody and the reason for the divorce typically isn’t one of them, so him leaving you for another woman is irrelevant now unless you mentioned it so you can justify keeping your kids from their father….which isn’t a valid justification at all btw.

Anyway, retain a lawyer, try to take a step back from your personal feelings about your ex and think about your kids. Do you both live within the district the children attend school? Would dad be able to get them to/from school? Are they safe there, was there any findings during the cps investigation? I mean, aside from that, you can request first right of refusal, and other stipulations, which will also apply to you so keep that in mind. Just try to reach into your logical mind rather than emotional. Good luck.

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I think for peace of mind hire an attorney. She can advocate for you. You don’t know if he will show up with one. It’s always good to be ready than to wish you were

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Lawyer like yesterday. I’d be all for him having his children if it wasn’t for the abuse towards the chidren and have everything documented.

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if he wants to see his kids, take it for supervised visitations. if he’s abusing them or his home is not stable or fit for the babies, don’t hesitate to ask them to make a statement or talk to the judge & tell him you’re not comfortable with them being over there & that you’re concerned about their safety. that way, he can see his kids & you don’t have to be in constant fear/worry!

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Yes, get a lawyer to be safe. But I wouldn’t worry much. You were given custody for a reason and I don’t see that changing.

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You mentioned abuse and that’s probably all that needs to be proven to make the court keep full custody with you

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I wouldn’t change anything honestly.
My oldest daughters father tried this. I had placement and custody, he decided a couple years later he wanted 50/50. The judge asked him what exactly had changed to make him want 50/50 and he didn’t have an answer. So they didn’t change it.

The kids should get a law guardian who will speak to them and tell the courts their opinions

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Lawyer and protect yourself and your children. And revisit child support to make sure you have everything accounted for while you are there!

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Due to the kids stating abuse you need to get a lawyer. You always have to keep the best interest of the kids in your mind at all times. DV and abuse is not okay. I hope all works out

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Nope if you have a choice keep it like it is… Cuz if he walked away once he will surely do it again. Let him be financially responsible through a court order. Judge will make it fair as far as support. Get a lawyer and explain it all to him so he can try and get full custody and visitation for father. Good luck! Hugs love and prayers! :kissing_heart::purple_heart:

You absolutely need a lawyer. Also you need ALL documents from the CPS investigation. The proof he wilfully abandonded his children.

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