If cps has been involved because of his abusiveness get a lawyer and use that in court to keep your kids safe from him.
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Get a lawyer. Tell that lawyer everything you just said here and let him pull all the records to present to the court. If CPS and police reports are involved and he has kept the kids from you before, it is very unlikely he will get any custody. If you still want him in their life, but have serious concerns you could always compromise to allowing supervised visitations if that’s an option.
They do take CPS involvement into deep consideration regarding custody cases at least in Mass where I’m from. My advice get a lawyer.
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The whole 50 percent is a trick to end paying you child support. That’s what his ultimate goal is. Lawyer up. I do not ever agree to keeping children away from their opposite parent, but if there is abuse, and hard-core domestic violence… then they definitely should have their time regulated.
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Lawyer ASAP!!!
Joint physical custody can normally only be granted if you reside in the same city and state. The CPS report is what will determine whether he has a chance or not. How old are the kids?! Sometimes they have a say so!
Most importantly ALWAYS GET A LAWYER!
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If the abuse was documented, not only can you retain your sole custody, you can require supervised visits until he can prove himself to the courts/social workers that he can handle seeing them without supervision.
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You’re the only advocate for those kiddos and their safety. Absolutely get a lawyer and fight his request.
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Having recently been through a divorce, I can tell you that if he has them half time, he pays no support, which is likely his motivation.
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He doesn’t deserve half time if he left them with nothing. If he is abusing the kids. If there is domestic abuse in the home. That’s where you as a mother say absolutely not. I would give him supervised visits through the state.
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April Valot why is this funny???
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If your kids are being abused by him, that is something that needs to be documented by the police and he should NOT be able to see his kids alone or ever!
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Police and CPS were already involved, your children admitted abuse, and you did yourself that the environment is not good. I wouldn’t give him custody at all. Sorry but no. Their safety is most important.
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Lawyer up. Asap. And dig dig dig back through whatever records you have of the abuse. Cps reports. Messages exchanged. Anything and everything!! Do YOU want him to see those kids? If you don’t act and now, he will.
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You need a lawyer… Document everything! Save receipts! Get copies of any police reports/CPS reports that your children have been involved in. But definitely, always have a lawyer. I went without one once thinking it would be open and shut. The judge wouldn’t even speak to me. My ex hadn’t seen his daughter in 18 months!
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I would definitely get a lawyer and depending on how old the kids are, they might be able to prove him unfit. Seek out legal advice and tell them what you told us. Good luck Hun 
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1st- get an attorney 2nd- ask for a court appointed guardian ad litem- for the children.
The judge is gonna hear both sides. Also will look into any cps reports and cases, possibly request cps to review the situation.
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He only want half so he doesn’t have to pay child support. With all of the involvement such as police calls, cps, and your legal custody you should have no problems. You’ve established a home, school and everything they need. Stay strong!
I would just get a lawyer. Everyones case is different and what happens with one person may not happen with you. Cps doesnt mean a thing. He can probably at the most get visitation but far as joint custody, i wouldn’t worry to much about that. You never know so just be safe, get a lawyer
It doesn’t matter if he is the father or mother. Neither parent shall be granted joint or full custody based solely on these grounds. It is what is best for the kids!!! And that all depends on their ages and the stability that is needed at those age. And how involved each parent has been! It’ll go by state guidelines if the two of you can’t agree to a visitation schedule. There are so many factors. Do both parents work? Day care? School? Home school? Age? Appointments? Environment? Living conditions/do the kids have their own room? Etc. Just because he is the dad doesn’t mean he automatically deserves joint. And also joint is based on medical and life decisions, has nothing to do with visitations or how much one parent has the kid over the other.
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! No matter how big or small of a detail…. Having a timeline of events, issues, etc is important! Rather than just going into court unorganized without any thing to back up any claims/statements you may make! Start writing everything down with dates/times!
And yes, prob best to get a lawyer. If for nothing else, to have someone to speak on your behalf in court!
Good luck
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Joint custody does not mean there is no child support. My ex husband and I have joint custody and he still has to pay the state requirements. Only way he wouldn’t have to pay is if he terminated his rights. But with the history of abuse, I would definitely fight it!
I have found that “joint custody” means nobody pays child support. He most likely doesn’t really want custody. He just doesn’t want to pay child support. This happened with my daughter.
This was my case as well minus leaving me for another woman. I was given sole custody in our divorce. He then wanted to change custody. Due to our prior CPS involvement, history of domestic violence and his history in general. The judge ruled our custody would remain as me having sole custody until our children were 18.
They’re not going to award him that custody, especially not right away. Especially bc of violent history and CPS being involved. If you’re kids are old enough they can also testify for themselves or even have them write their own testimonies. They might start off with supervised visitation or leave things as they are. I agree getting a lawyer would help but you are good momma. Don’t stress too much!
First, get a lawyer… Document everything. If the children have witnessed violence or have been treated poorly document thst. Get paperwork from CPS involvement. Any texts, voicemails any contact. Have everything you need to back up what is going on. I’m sorry you and especially the children are dealing with this.
Your good and make sure if you need to have lawyer he gets all info. Regarding his relationship issues and safety of children my only advice
Definitely get a lawyer. And with cps being involved because of abuse in the past I doubt they’ll grant him joint custody but just incase get a lawyer and be prepared.
I don’t know about where your at but here if the parents cant get along and haven’t gotten along them they will never agree to joint custody. Its super hard to get
Document everything. When he reaches out, his often he requests to see them, when he actually sees them, when he doesn’t show, document all abuse situations with details, time n date, facts no emotional stuff. Look up sample parenting plans in your state, reach out to women shelters they might can help with resources n legal help
HE CANNOT CHANGE IT UNLESS THERE IS A CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES.He would to prove he is a better positions than last court hearing.
ALWAYS GET A LAWYER . Now is not the time to try to handle this yourself. The courts don’t want ’ he did this and that’ they want proof and proof that the courts will accept needs to be handled correctly. Don’t want to be back here saying he got partial custody and is abusing kids. If there is one thing most important in your life it should be your kids well being. So DO NOT try to do this yourself.
Good luck on him getting what he wants my husband wants split custody and the judge told him that that was unrealistic and unless we had a base home for the kids and we each had our own homes to go back to on days we didn’t have the kids that they would not do that because it is too much on the children with shuffling them around so much.
Uh no. If he can leave you and y’all’s kids for another woman with nothing to your name he doesn’t deserve to see his kids obviously he doesn’t care or think about them enough to have done things properly. He chose another woman over you AND your kids so no I wouldn’t allow it
An attorney is always a good idea. Honestly he should start with weekends and work his way up to more time. Depending on the ages of your kids, most judges like to ask the kids their thoughts on the situation since it does involve them. I know the Mama Bear comes out when it comes to your kids. It’s natural. Try to take it step by step and hire an attorney, that way it’s not overwhelming for you. Good Luck!!!
One.Dont worry so much.It is stressfull.What ever documentation from CPS or anywhere else.Take that to court.also start keep a log book of when he takes the kids.What schedule visitation he already has.Let the judge know you want the kids to see there father.you however also want them to be safe.Wt the abuse allegations (cause it was unclear if anything was proven) He may fuck around an loss visitation all together.I didn’t have a lawyer.(an no the ex didn’t get custody.He was lucky he keep the visits)if u can get one or can afford one.May not help.(My ex had one.i did not.I was only arguing about custody not visitations )You could also request that he take anger management classes.an have supervise visits.Do to abuse.an abuse in his home. Yes it was stressful.an a pain in the ass.You got this.
PLEASE GET A LAWYER!! A good one at that! Never go into court in regard to custody without being represented by someone who knows and understands the law in your state.
Get a lawyer, always have a lawyer. Also get all copies of police reports and CPS reports to bring with you to court. Any and all documentation that shows his home and environment is not fit for the kids 50% of them time. I’d also ask about supervised visits, that isn’t his girlfriend supervising, a mutual party you agree on. If he abused them, tell the judge that, judges don’t like having young kids testify but they’ll often have the kids go somewhere and talk to someone, during which the visit is recorded and they use it as evidence. Seriously, get a lawyer asap.
Ask the court to a point of guarding that litem. She is the spokesman for the children and will Express their needs. She will do home studies on both homes. She will recommend what’s best for the kids
Good luck. Here in Indiana they are giving joint custody because it satisfies the popular political agenda. The court does not care about you and they care less for your kids. Praying for you
Going. Through. The. Exact. Same!!! Get a lawyer! Im fighting on my own due to being unable to afford a lawyer myself, (i had a heart transplant) a d he’s being a complete awful nightmare! Lawyer up girl!
I work with these cases daily. Get an attorney. You’d rather be safe than sorry. They know what they’re doing. They may cost a lot, but what could you lose without it? Take documentation of everything to them. And fight like hell.
If the sole custody is based off of child support then that isnt sole custody you have to actually have a separate hearing for cuatody all the one states with the child support is that they live with you. When it comes to ur kids it doesn’t matter how much it costs to keep them safe so get a lawyer no matter what.
I know most people have said you need an attorney, but I just want to add that sometimes if you go to the courthouse they can help you with getting one. I know it’s hard being a single mama much less trying to afford an attorney.
I would get a lawyer to be safe. And see if you can get the child protection case info. He may win it fir you.
I can tell you that co-parenting works best for the kids to see their parents having a working relationship instead of everyone fighting. I know because I went thru it. Because post decree orders can happen all the time when anything changes, better to work it out so you’re not constantly in court battling each other. But if there is violence, the importance is keeping the children safe in all circumstances 
their little people growing up and they will learn how to live and how relationships work watching others in their lives. Seek counseling for yourself and the children. I loved it altho I wasn’t too sure about it in the beginning. praying all works out well. 
it sounds to me like he may be wanting half and half to have child support lowered or taken away completely by having half and half. I would leave it as is honestly especially after he left without a care in the world about making sure his kid’s were good.
I would request to keep sole custody if you’re concerned about the environment. Decide what you’re comfortable with as far as visitation goes, maybe even talk and ask the kids if they’re old enough to give input. Write everything down!! Everything they tell you, date it and keep it. If he says questionable things via text, screenshot those and print them out.
Keep a call log if the kids call and talk with him and when they visit to provide proof you don’t keep them from him. I’d express hes kept the kids from you before, which is why you request keeping sole custody.
If you have any documents proving the abuse I’d bring that, any proof that hes unfit for half the custody I’d bring. Always have a lawyer
Sounds like he only wants joint custody so he doesn’t have to pay as much. If he’s abusive and the kids have expressed this to you, then that’s a big fat nope from me and hopefully the judge sees through his BS.
Definitely get a lawyer and make sure to have documents of the abuse and print out any text messages that you feel will help your case. Provide it all and be 100% honest with your lawyer about everything.
Now that you have sole custody and placement its a bitch for him to take it away. He’d have to prove you infit. You do however need a lawyer. Anything pertaining to your children you should NEVER go at it alone!!
I would have a lawyer!!! And agree to visitstion being supervised, until he gets evaluated by a court appointed medical person and follows through their reccomendations
wow that’s horrible i wouldn’t want my children in an unfit home no matter if it was with their father or not. honestly i wouldn’t let him till he fixed his home life
Yeah get yourself a lawer there friend. It’s to protect the kiddos as well as you. You can’t get burned and if there is abuse they can’t get hurt with a lawer.
Depending on the city and state that you will go to court in, some of this documentation can be considered hearsay, and most judges won’t look at it. You need witnesses (family, friends, teachers, etc) to come in to court with you, to help testify to the fact he has been abusive to your children. Use the CPS report if it states that he’s been abusive. Take pictures of the kids if they come home from his place with any marks on their bodies. Time and date stamp each picture.
Document FACTS not feelings.
And be careful of lawyers, mine cost me $65k by the time we were done with custody and divorce.
I hope it all works out for you!
Get a lawyer, have proof, text messages, emails, contact police and get file number from when police were involved, contact cps the worker who was involved ask for a write up on the situation and your home life, state specifically what you want, in the end the court will look at best interest of child… depending on age of children they too can write statements… maybe suggest he takes a parenting after separation course, anger management, request these in court and give reasons and proof why you believe this would be best for your children… keep it about your kids and what’s best for them,
Just because he wants that…doesn’t mean he will get it. With all the proof that his homelife is trash and proof of the past cps and police involvement…you should be fine.
If you can’t afford a lawyer because it’s a lot. Your going to have to represent yourself.
You need to have physical copies for each party including the judge yourself and him. Your gonna also need copies on an email as well. Save every thing you’ve got on him to build a case to not give him the time he’s requesting and why. Then you’re going to ask for a guardian ad litum for all three of the children. That is someone who doesn’t give a shit about or the dad or any one except the children and will speak with your children alone to get real answers from them and where they feel most safe.
Do not get personal and cry or get angry in court either they don’t take lightly to people who aren’t level headed even with sadness.
From a layperson perspective, lawyer up.
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Document everything, write it down, documentation on CPS cases…etc all need to be gathered and given to a litigation attorney. Find yourself a shark. Prayers and good luck! Sounds like He’s a real huge piece of 
like my ex… only wants half so he doesn’t have to pay child support and if or when he gets that half custody he will only expose the kids to awful situations and abuse them emotionally and verbally. Do everything you can to keep your custody! 
No advice but good luck 
the law doesn’t have best interests at heart for kids . But hope you get lucky and be able to keep your kids safe . But no matter what he’ll still end up being able to see them . And cps is a joke to
Constantly document everything n all texts n get a call recorder on ur phone for when he calls or a hand one n stay calm but also let him kno hes being recorded n yes get a lawyer
Document everything! Have your writing book and put the date, time and what for. For instance, if he didn’t pick up the kids, write that, if the child told you what happened, write that. Get everything on paper and get you a lawyer. He will do the rest for you after he gets what he needs like asking questions. So prepare yourself for that to or he can’t help.
To me, it’s sounds like he thinks he won’t have to pay if he has then half the time. Seeing how he just up and left and has had them in not a safe situation I don’t see the judge granting anything like that!
Depending on your state, most of the time if you are already awarded full custody they have to have your permission to change it to joint and if you don’t agree then they can’t make you unless he has hard concrete evidence of you being unfit. Which sounds like isn’t the case. My ex tried to get joint custody and was denied because my lawyer said I would have to agree to it which I didn’t.
Most men out there these days don’t want nothing to do with the kids I think I’d let him have as much time as he wants with the kids as long as he’s helped taking care of them
Momma always have a lawyer in these situations your babies count on you for your protection especially since their father is the abuser always go all out on these situations for the sake of your babies
Let him waste his money, pay your legal fees also, have CPS’s & police reports in hand along with original judgement regarding custody, and if need be, get a restraining order for you and your children based on previously mentioned reports and it’ll be over before it really begins. You probably won’t even need an attorney at this point, just be your own attorney for now because unless the judge is completely inept they will undoubtedly keep the custody agreement as is…
Anytime he wants to contest the agreement he needs to understand that any and all legal fees ensued by both parties is his responsibility.
Sorry this is happening to you and your family.
As a CPS case manager, I always tell my clients that they should NEVER go to Court without an attorney! And document, document, document! If you don’t have dates and times documented, then it can be argued that it never happened! Keep a journal just for your documentation! Get your children in therapy! Therapist are a professional that can give recommendations to the Courts! Do these things, and you’ll ahead of the game!
I mean if things were that bad then he should not get them but if he is paying support and what not he should be able to have them half or part of the time . Also should depend on if he founded or not as well
Yes get a lawyer and he can be awarded more visitation time without giving him 50/50 joint legal/physical.
Getting a lawyer should be your first priority! Trust me!
With how ugly you say he is you should get an attorney asap. Look up legal aide in your area also request a guardian ad litem they speak for the children and the kids are what really matters. Hugs and good vibes momma.
If he’s paying the judge will likely go 2/2/3 , alternate the 3 days
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Document EVERYTHING & get a lawyer. I’ve been there & I lost the first time… be prepared.
Sounds like he wants them to piss you off and get out of child support payments. Stand your ground and please get a lawyer
Yes first get a Lawyer. Get everything in writing so you have proof and go from there
In your case I would get a lawyer. I did my custody pro se, even though my ex had a lawyer. I had residential custody and visitation was up to me, I never withheld them or even said no to 1 visit he wanted- he got them every wked and school break, plus summers under the previous order where I controlled visits. He took me to court for 50/50 with him having residential. I’m not really sure why, but he did. So anyway, I won and visitation is exactly the same as it’s always been and our custody papers still say I set visits haha. But it doesn’t always go this way. Fathers are winning more and more, even manipulative gas lighters. I wouldn’t risk it in your situation, where the children can really be effected. My kids have a great, reliable dad who I happen to not get along with with anything other than the kids, I just can’t stand him but he’s a gr8 father 
if he’d won, our time would’ve been reversed and while it’s technically less time overall, it’s 60/40 maybe 55/45 and he didn’t have a leg to stand on. I wasn’t super worried but even I was nervous it would go his way I obviously want my kids to live and go to school at my house, too
Keep sole custody, if he wants to go back court make sure he has to pay for your lawyer too cuz of his persistence
So he wants half the time to help himself and pay less in child support?
No one here will be able to give you this answer. It’s best you consult a legal professional. Some offer free consults
Depends on your state but in my state its done you have custody and unless he can prove you unfit he’s sol!
This is one side. If what is said is true about the abuse, than the courts won’t let it happen. They will ask the children. But if op is trying to hold the children because of resentment over being left for another woman, than thats petty and the children should see both parents equally
I’d say since abuse is involved definitely get a lawyer
Your last sentence there is your answer. Get your professional legal handled, absolutely voice your concerns. Why would you not, if you need toprotect them at all cost.
You absolutely need a lawyer and all CPS REPORTS you need to have documents of all abuse especially if reported to officials. Don’t hesitate Get a lawyer now. He must think he has something on uou if he is taking you to court for half custody. And yes the kids need to report the abuse they receive, see, or hear
Definitely get a lawyer! You and your kids need an advocate. Make sure you have proof of what happened. You’d be surprised how many people lie in court and if it’s just your word versus theirs, there is nothing you or the judge can do about it unless you have real tangible evidence. Recorded conversation, screen shots, pictures, witnesses, anything else you can use to cooperate with your side of the story. You’re gonna need it. Evidence is the key to prove your truth.
Half custody means you both have then equally and neither will be required to pay child support. My ex petitioned for half custody to get out of paying child support. The court did not grant it. The judge did order alternating years to claim child on taxes.
Not only you will need a lawyer, the children will need their own lawyer. A judge will appoint a guardian ad litem. It’s going to keep expensive but it’s worth it.
If you can prove he is an infit father then you have something to work with
Get a lawyer. Present all documented evidence. Esp texts of him keeping the kids from you and any documented cps/law enforcement. You’ve got this 
Document everything he says, does, doesn’t do…his demeanor when he does contact you.
Get a lawer right away. if you got wittnesses alert them. fight for your children.
Girl keep sending those babies over there knowing cps has been involved the state can and will take the kids from allowing him access
What do the children want?.. Do that…its their lives most critically affected by parental involvement… If they want time with the Dad…go that way… If they don’t care…they you don’t need to either…
There has to be a circumstance that warrants a change. Him just wanting it is not good enough. You’ve been some for years. There is no real argument that he has. Still you need a lawyer.
Go get free legal aid at your court house.dont give up sole custody.visitations are great so they can be with their dad. But you are their anchor be a mama bear an always protect them .
You should try to get a good support group and lawyer if you cannot afford one you may be eligible for legal aid. And get a restraining order.
It’s enough that the children are saying that they are being abused by this man and witnessing violence and domestic abuse towards he’s girlfriend. And if he hasn’t supported you or the kids financially with school and living expenses then how is he going to support them while they are in he’s custody.
Talk to legal aid.
Do NOT go to court without a lawyer. Document everything. Fight feelings with facts.
Get a lawyer even though you have sole custody and lots of proof and witnesses.
Get an attorney! Especially if you all live in the same school district.